June 10th, 2013

Safe Hands Harrison

As Guido reported in his Sun column yesterday, congratulations are due to the man known as the Chancellor’s “brain”, Rupert Harrison, on the birth of his son. Returning to work following 3 weeks paternity leave, the Treasury whizz kid has been christened by his boss George Osborne as “safe hands Harrison”. After the midwife was delayed on the way to the home-birth, Harrison delivered the baby himself.


  1. 1
    Dave's doubled the debt says:

    “the Treasury whizz kid”

    He’s not in any way responsible for the national debt soaring to around 90pc of GDP, then?

  2. 2
    Tony Blair says:

    Damn! Why did I never think of that? I mean, I came out of Downing St in a cardigan and holding a mug of coffee to look like an ordinary bloke, you know, a pretty straight sorta guy. I should have told Alistair to tell everyone I personally delivered Leo. Fuck. Still, all the millions in my various offshore accounts will keep and Cherie comforted. Thank you, dead British troops and dead Iraqis!

  3. 3
    Maqboul says:

    Every comrade knows that it’s the banksters’ fault.

  4. 4
    Boris Johnson says:

    Who’s the daddy?

  5. 5
    Twatter says:

    Nice to know that George’s right hand man knows how to handle a Twat in an emergency.

  6. 6
    a non says:

    Harrison? Thought you meant Chuka!
    Nearly had kittens.

  7. 7
    Gene Hunt says:

    Being a man I was never able to see what women saw in Boris, until I saw his sister on the Telly yesterday.

  8. 8
    Eggsactly! says:

  9. 9
    George Who? says:

    George has got this Chancellor job well weighed off. He only comes out two times a year and on the rare occasion Britain does the Olympics.

  10. 10
    The Chancellors Brain says:


  11. 11
    She's a hottie says:

  12. 12
    Cickeory says:

    There appears to be a general chatter that there is no way out for Yeo

    of course there is a way out, he is an MP supported by other MP’s who do not want ‘THE RULES” changing

    It all has to get worse before it gets better

    Peter Mandelstone was a good example of an MP

  13. 13
    another tory love-in says:


  14. 14
    Das Englandspiel says:

    I see that the Foreign Secretary’s lips are going to be moving today.

    Don’t hold you breath though he is smirking all the time they move!

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    Waste of time.

    Not even a tit shot.

  16. 16
    Rupert Harrison says:

    How dare you! My family has owned the banks for centuries. They are totally blameless. It is all the fault of those greasy oiks who work the counters – nothing to do with investment bankers who are all good chums of mine from my days as Head Boy at Eton.

  17. 17
  18. 18
    Pandora Spankingham-Wopp says:

    I thought a tit shot referred to Boris’ ambition to become a human cannonball….

  19. 19
    Pandora Spankingham-Wopp says:

    No need to with all his Old Etonian chums to run the Treasury.

  20. 20
    Adam Werritty says:

    He (Rupert Harrison) looks like just another brown-nosing bag carrier to me.

    Still, I suppose 3 weeks paternity leave and £150K pa must make it all worthwhile.

  21. 21
    Arse fuck for freedom says:

    I guess it will make a change from sucking cock.

  22. 22
    Vazeline® The Slipperiest Substance On The Planet says:

    Ok, I have to admit, I’m pretty good, I’m not even schizophrenic, people just think I’ve good a good side and I leave ‘em to it!

  23. 23
    Central Casting says:

    So that’s George’s brain? Not sure there is enough there for two?

  24. 24
    Liar.Politicians says:

    And the British economy is not in safe hands, George Osborne and Ed Balls got their latest orders from the Bilderberg hon ow to f’ck up the UK even more for their criminal banker friends.

  25. 25

    Don’t look like ‘gym buddies’, more like partners in crime

  26. 26
    Windy Miller says:

    Don’t you mean Eggs-Factor?

  27. 27
    Two Ed's are Thicker than One says:

    Has Boris bonked her I wonder!

  28. 28

    All very well, having safe hands, but let’s hope they’re clean too!

  29. 29
    QED says:

    “I think of him as my Tenzing,” said Gideon cheekily.
    His chirpy assistant carrying all on his shoulders replied, “We thought, ‘Oh, shit, it’s down everywhere in all directions! There’s just no more ‘up’ any more.”

  30. 30
    Astonished says:

    No woman involved.

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