Loyal Coulson Speaks Dave on Boris: “He’ll want my job next”

Andy Coulson has surfaced for the first time since his Downing Street walk out in 2011 to dispense some pearls of wisdom for those he left behind. Writing for July’s GQ, he gives “his ten-point masterplan for saving David Cameron and stopping Labour in 2015”. And he sticks it to Boris too. Guido is sure the advice will be welcomed with open arms…

Despite awaiting his September trial, Coulson has clearly been keeping one eye on the ball:

“The prime minister must push [Miliband] to take positions: expose his strategy (to keep his head down, silently hope that the economy continues to go wonky and, well, just be the other guy), challenge him to take a view on the tricky issues opposition politicians love to duck….I’m struck by how detached the opposition front bench appears to be from their leader…I just don’t think they rate him very much. And if they don’t there’s a good chance the public will feel the same way once they get to know him properly.”

He’s even got even stronger words for Balls:

“The prime minister should pray Ed Balls remains shadow chancellor until the election…Appointing him as George’s opposite number was the Miliband gift that will keep on giving… The Tories must look for the divisions and make the most of them a) because they are most certainly real – always a plus – and b) because it’s history repeating itself. We are in this hole at least in part because of the shamefully dysfunctional Blair/Brown relationship. Labour’s Two Eds dislike each other and each thinks he is smarter than the other. The Conservatives should imagine in some detail how it would work if they actually won…and share that vision with the British public.”

Other than what might come out at the Brooks and Coulson trial, the Tories other favourite topic of parlour conversation is Boris, and Coulson does not disappoint there either. The Mayor’s card is marked, it seems. Coulson reckons Boris wants the job but won’t tarnish the brand by moving against the PM.

“Number Ten’s Boris strategy should be simple.  Support his good ideas, advise privately on the bad ones, but only engage publicly if absolutely necessary – and celebrate Boris’ considerable successes. Boris Johnson desperately wants to be prime minister and David has known that fact longer than most.  When Boris asked me to pass on the message that he was keen to stand as mayor of London, David responded, “Well, if he wins, he’ll want my job next.”  If proof were needed that our PM is a man untroubled by self doubt, it came in his next sentence, “So I think he’ll be a bloody brilliant candidate for us”… Stabbing David, or anyone else for that matter, in the back would be distinctly off brand – just not very Boris.  He would much prefer to see David fail miserably in the election and ride in on his bike to save party and country.”

A little revenge, perhaps, for Boris saying at the height of the phone-hacking scandal that he had warned Dave and George off hiring the former Screws editor. You have to wonder what might be in that diary…




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Owen Smith backs one hour contracts but wants to abolish zero hours contracts:

“You need to give people a contract to say, ‘here’s what you will be working’. It could be one, but I’m saying it shouldn’t be zero, we should invert that emphasis.”

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

MACHO, LADDISH CULTURE OF BBC WALES BOYOS MACHO, LADDISH CULTURE OF BBC WALES BOYOS
TOBY PERKINS: “I LOVE TO SHOW MY BODY” TOBY PERKINS: “I LOVE TO SHOW MY BODY”
TRUMP ASKS RUSSIA TO HACK HILLARY’S EMAILS TRUMP ASKS RUSSIA TO HACK HILLARY’S EMAILS
TRUMP ASKS RUSSIA TO HACK HILLARY’S EMAILS TRUMP ASKS RUSSIA TO HACK HILLARY’S EMAILS
CANADIAN “HOT” LESBIAN OIL ADVERT PULLED CANADIAN “HOT” LESBIAN OIL ADVERT PULLED
EVERYBODY’S INVESTING IN BREXIT BRITAIN EVERYBODY’S INVESTING IN BREXIT BRITAIN
EMPTY SEATS AT SMITH CAMPAIGN RALLY EMPTY SEATS AT SMITH CAMPAIGN RALLY
“AMERITUDE” TRUMP JAM DAD SUES TRUMP’S CAMPAIGN “AMERITUDE” TRUMP JAM DAD SUES TRUMP’S CAMPAIGN
THERESA MAY SMILING AS TORY POLLS IMPROVING THERESA MAY SMILING AS TORY POLLS IMPROVING
HIGH COURT JUDGE COULD CROWN OILY LEADER HIGH COURT JUDGE COULD CROWN OILY LEADER
Trump 5% Ahead of Clinton Trump 5% Ahead of Clinton
LILY COLE FRONTS BBC “CEO SECRETS” SERIES AFTER RUNNING COMPANY INTO GROUND LILY COLE FRONTS BBC “CEO SECRETS” SERIES AFTER RUNNING COMPANY INTO GROUND
Guardian Media Group’s Losses Total £173 Million Guardian Media Group’s Losses Total £173 Million
MCGINN WHIPPED LABOUR MPS TO “KEEP UP THE PRESSURE ON JC” MCGINN WHIPPED LABOUR MPS TO “KEEP UP THE PRESSURE ON JC”
VICTORIA’S SECRET LINGERIE AND 5 STAR HOTELS: WELSH GOVT’S £7.5 MILLION CREDIT CARD SPEND VICTORIA’S SECRET LINGERIE AND 5 STAR HOTELS: WELSH GOVT’S £7.5 MILLION CREDIT CARD SPEND
OWEN SMITH HIRES TOP PFIZER LOBBYIST TO RUN CAMPAIGN OWEN SMITH HIRES TOP PFIZER LOBBYIST TO RUN CAMPAIGN
HAMMOND FIBS AND SAUDI SLAVERY SLIPPED OUT ON DUMPING DAY HAMMOND FIBS AND SAUDI SLAVERY SLIPPED OUT ON DUMPING DAY
MATTHEW ELLIOTT ON WHY LEAVE WON MATTHEW ELLIOTT ON WHY LEAVE WON