May 29th, 2013

Latest MoD Figures: 604 Spinners

Always keen to help, this morning Guido pointed out the vast  numbers of communications staff employed by the MoD, should Philip Hammond be looking around for something to “streamline”. Guido quoted the 2009/10 figures which showed 697 spin staff, though MoD sources are keen to stress that only 23 are based at Whitehall and many of the rest have other jobs. This afternoon they have coughed the latest figures:

“As of 31 March 2012 the total number of military and civilian MOD personnel spending at least 50% of their time on communications related activities was 604. This figure is on course to drop again to 515 by 2015.”

Going in the right direction, slowly. 


  1. 1
    DJ Gordon says:

    I love to spin

  2. 2
    Dynamo Joe says:

    Surely 604 MoD Spanners?

    (btw wedding ring on right hand – is he one of those gay soldiers?)

  3. 3
    Now that Afghanistan War is "won" on to greater things says:

    The left hand appears not to know what the right hand is doing….Hammond and MoD busily running down UK military personnel and capacity and Wee Will Hague busily making commitments for all out offensive in Syria…

  4. 4
    Ivor Biggan says:

    WRONG WRONG – still 604 toooooo many – get shot of them now

  5. 5
    Cpl Jones says:

    They don’t like it up’em

  6. 6
    smoggie says:

    That’s not a Brit.

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Mmm, plenty of anti Hammond rhetoric appearing on Guido.

    Those cynical buggers amongst us might think that you’re hand in hand with Osborne’s media wallahs.

  8. 8
    Ivor Biggan says:

    did they do a headHunt, yes and they have 604 cnuts

  9. 9
    fruitcake says:

    Send Gordon Brown’s accounts, they’re offensive

  10. 10
    fruitcake says:

    Yes and it 306 personnel to do it.

  11. 11
    Tom Catesby says:

    Trying ‘dropping’ the figure now Hammond.

  12. 12
    Cpl Jones says:

    No, probably a Greek

  13. 13
    Fighters not gobshites please says:

    Non players off the green.

  14. 14
    Owen Jones says:

    I prefer spit roasting myself!

  15. 15
    M says:

    Put that light out

  16. 16
    The Eton Cabal says:

    Looks like a serving of Hammond Eggs then!

  17. 17
    Stanley Baldwin says:

    Maybe the pic has been flipped horizontally, a bit like Our Willie.

  18. 18
    An MoD communicator in 1940 says:

    We have made a strategic withdrawal from Dunkirk in order to rationalise our defensive posture across the board and enhance our capabilities.

  19. 19
    HM Government Spending Review says:

    Which would it be better for tax payers money to be spent on ?

    a) Benefits for the likes of Anjem Choudry et al.

    b) A modern and loyal Armed Services.

    Your answer will be recorded in history and determine the liberty of your children.

  20. 20
    Will-i-am Hague-king of the wild frontier says:

    Well I suppose we could give them guns and send them to Syria.
    Call it the Journo Battalion and have 10 Brigadiers to command it.

  21. 21
    Which, being translated, means says:

    We have had our arses handed to us on a plate.

  22. 22
    EU says:

    viva la france

  23. 23
    Ron Barras says:

    What a load of waste. Doesn’t matter where they are based.

    Sounds like Hammond can’t get a grip on his own department.

  24. 24
    The Two Stooges says:

    To be absolutely fair, Hammond and Osborne are both utter tax and spend tossers.

  25. 25
    Sir William Waad says:

    He’s nearly completed Zombie Gunship in Epic Mode.

  26. 26
    A New Aircraft Carrier with no Aircraft says:

    The 500 health and safety advisors had to make sure the headcount was safe first.

  27. 27
    His Eminence Cardinal Blair of Toscania says:

    I am considerably richer than you.

  28. 28
    Realpolitik says:

    Just how many people does it take to communicate:

    ‘Don’t fuck with the UK. Have a nice day’ ?

    I think that message requires somewhat less than 604 PR guys, and perhaps an aircraft carrier with planes, among other things ?

  29. 29
    Back to Barracks says:

    My dear chap the CoS don’t even know he’s in the room with them! Wait till you see the over spend on the Carriers (couple of boffins I know say the costs are about go up by as much as another £1.5Billion! once they start wiring the things together!) Plus no one actually knows how much the f35 is going to cost! MOD has never been under control.

  30. 30
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    You laugh, but that IS the sort of military-speak which has always been engaged in. The settling down and digging into trenches back in 1914-18 was probably referred to as “establishing a hard defensive perimeter” or some such nonsense, if I know those people.

  31. 31
    Type 45 destroyer with untested missiles says:

    And a project management committee of 56

  32. 32
    the guardian says:

    Is A, the answer ?

  33. 33
    lojolondon says:

    I was appalled to see that there are more employees in the MOD than there are in the Army, Air Force and Navy. Surely there needs only be, say one person in the office for every 10 in the field? Hammond has failed the country by cutting the front-line when the back-office is so heavily bloated!

  34. 34
    the bbc says:

    Correct. We’ve commissioned a dodgy documentary by “independent” black ops deniable producers and commissioned a dodgy poll to prove its the correct answer.

    Ps we left shepherds bush because it was a mussie sh1thole…

  35. 35
    Wee Willy Hague says:

    I have a firm grip on my aides..

  36. 36
    Charlie Mullins' plastic sturgeon says:

    I wouldn’t mind so much if they were any good at their job…but they’re not.

    All 604 of them are fucking useless and wouldn’t last a day working for a real company or real PR agency.

  37. 37
    Nigel Farridge says:

    Increase the number of generals etc then no need to reduce those parasites

  38. 38
    General Melchett says:

    A strategic spin offensive at dawn will catch Jerry by surprise, we’ll launch electronic press-packs on their flanks followed by a head-on assault using the 24hr news channels. After a hard-hitting leaflet drop, waves of PR girls will then break through and win hearts and minds with pens, mugs, iPhone covers and tins of mints.

  39. 39
    Curly says:

    But does ‘comms officers’ also include the front line guys who we see tramping about with radios on their backs and long aerials protruding from knapsacks?

    Or, alternatively, does ‘comms officer’ merely mean somebody at a desk writing the latest press releases in response to Colonel Blimp’s (aka Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells) rant in the latest Daily Wail?

  40. 40
    Seymour says:

    They will just employ another 600 spinners, then they’ll spend less than 50% of their time “communicating”.
    25% communicating, 30% cocking up contracts for personal gain, 20% denying servicemen their injury payments and pensions and 25% making claims for injuries such as paper cuts

  41. 41
    Retired vagina inspector says:

    604 communicators to pump out the shit and drivel from the MOD? I can’t remember a time when they have all been on message and put out a worthwhile statement – they always seem to balls it up and blame it on an ‘enthusiastic’ junior official….

  42. 42
    Polly Toynbee's Butt Plug says:

    If the Argies kick off again I’ll be the first Hunt to say “told you so”.

  43. 43
    Polly Toynbee's Butt Plug says:

    This is a test message: Hunt Hunt Hunt.

  44. 44
    Polly Toynbee's Butt Plug says:

    Does Jeremy Hunt realise his name is a substitute for c*nt, outside the BBC?

  45. 45
    UKIP if you want to says:


  46. 46
    Gaston says:

    604 warm bodies. The equivalent of an entire battalion.

    And not one of them a trigger puller….

  47. 47
    Gordon Brown says:

    We have made a -4.6% incursion into enemy territory.

  48. 48
    John Tandy says:

    Almost as big as the Britrish army today….

  49. 49

    Trigger happy Harry has allegedly, a spinner in the MOD and elsewhere, identical to other covert depts. that the royals occupy for propaganda ‘spinning’.

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