May 20th, 2013

John Hayes Calls Andy Coulson a “W***er”

After encouraging guests to be “as outrageous as possible” at a black-tie student dinner in Nottingham last Thursday, the PM’s Senior Parliamentary Adviser John Hayes called Andy Coulson a “w***er” during a conversation after his speech. As one attendee later blogged: “his honesty is most refreshing for politics, especially considering how he is in No.10.”

Hayes did not deny the remark when Guido spoke to him earlier, though claimed he did not recall uttering the words. Multiple sources in the room say otherwise. With their trial scheduled for September, w***ing was Andy Coulson and Rebekah Brooks’ least worry…


  1. 1
    Ctesibius says:

    Is this even tittle-tattle?

    • 9
      "He's a wanker, he's a wanker says:

      Maybe he’s just got Tourettes!

      • 13
        Ed Miliband says:

        No, honestly! That’s not how I hurt my wrist!

        • 18

          Someone is attempting to steal John Mann’s thunder here.

          • Dave Spartacus says:

            Could be an interesting slander case if he has documentary proof or a witness (e.g. Andy’s mum discovering a festering sock under his bed, when he was 13).

          • student politicians says:

            It would help all those student politicians if they did indulged themselves with their right hand before going on to westminister. That would be time spent prior to getting a live prior to telling us all what to do.

          • sista,s cuming. better look busy. says:

            it just is.
            the 3 forms
            of justis
            father,s brute force.
            dj,s spin.
            ej,s eject.
            g is the pleasure spot.

      • 318
        What a gay day says:

        it’s a jap’s eyeee….

    • 22
      Sir Bumley Foghorn MP (Much Ranting in the Shires) says:

      It is certainly surprising. The man who was so incompetent and out of step with government policy that Cameron sided with a LibDem minister and sacked him from DECC – and he calls someone else a w**ker!? (We all know Coulson is much worse than that).

    • 28
      Pull Together says:

      Could be Coulson is getting in some w@#k1*g practice for where he expects to be going next.

    • 50
      Hunt the Runt says:

      State the obvious – Coulson can suck my stump!

    • 61
      Anonymous says:

      Whats wrong with his face ?

    • 131
      W.Rinkly-Pyles says:

      He’ll be laughing on the other side of his face soon.

    • 279
    • 286
      Caroline's Norks says:

      Seriously who gives a shit? If I made a blog headline every time I called someone a wanker then I’d be a permanent news fixture. Besides most people would probably agree he is a wanker.

      Can we have some more salacious stories about Caroline (I’m too pretty for politics) Nokes getting porked in hotel rooms please?

      • 287
        Caroline's Norks says:

        Oh and by the way, Dave Cameron IS a wanker and even odds he’s still there this time next year – what the fuck is he doing making a stink over gay marriages when the economy is fucked? Vote UKIP. The tories have a track record of getting rid of lame ducks – it will happen.

    • 288
      Anonymous says:

      Sort of, but more reflection on Dave’s judgement in appointing wankers by the sound of it. Poor old Dave if he was the head of an HR department in a large company he’s have been given the boot by now. With everyday he make John Major look like Churchill!

      • 342
        Same old clapped out rubbish says:

        It’s just a matter of time now before Dave, comes on tv and in all seriousness, tells the interviewer, that he ‘understands’ peoples frustration, is listening to their concerns.

        With that in mind, he has decided to appoint Ken Clarke the new Cones Czar and have a new government department to monitor complaints made on a new Cones Hotline, regarding this ‘vitally important’ issue.

      • 355
        ...errr..... says:

        If only Dave had some experience in PR before he entered Politics alot of these gaffs would have been avoided…errr…..

  2. 2
    Anon says:

    When they said Tories needed to copy the raw honesty of UKIP, this wasn’t the plan.

    • 26
      Sir Bumley Foghorn MP (Much Ranting in the Shires) says:

      Now that is a conjuction of words which seems oddly inappropriate – ‘raw honesty’ and UKIP. Forgotten Ashley Mote, Tom Wise, Uncle Tom UKIP and all have we?

      • 39
        Anonymous says:

        … said a worried tory.

      • 66
        Anonymous says:

        I really wish some journalists would investigate ukip, im sick of amateur hour, with nigel getting away with pulling the wool over the eyes of the elderly and thick amongst us.Printing their “policies” would be a start.

      • 246
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Ashley Mote – was ‘set up by his ‘own’ legals inc his own barrister’ – who “FAILED” to properly inform him of the law and of certain issues in the case against him – which “Had Mote” known about / been properly & fully “informed of” – then the course of the legal pirates journey and the case against him would have led him to dry land.

        He was scuppered by the Jolly Roger men!

        • 274
          Blowing Whistles says:

          BTW – I have seen the evidence and it speaks of the highest duplicity from the wigged evil bastards and their snakes below them – slithering up the ladders.

          • Puzzled of Portsmouth says:

            So, if you can snag a copy of the evidence, publish it on here so we can all know what you are on about.

      • 280
        CarryHole is a vile Hunt says:

        Dave Guarantees are cast iron.

    • 126
      Raw Honesty says:

      Not frightened to call a spade a spade.

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Least worry but only option?

  4. 4
    efrem zimbalist jr says:

    No requirement to have stated the blatantly obvious …. though I assume he did it ” for the record “…

    • 139
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      When Hayes said Coulson was a rhymes-with-”canker”, nobody had to worry about anyone besides Coulson getting their backs up, so WTF, “maybe I said it, maybe I didn’t,” but he’s not going to deny that’s how he feels about it, so OK, Hayes will let you say he said it, whether it was “on the record” or no.

      Of course, in this situation, nobody’s invoking Lobby Rules to cover up who said what, because nobody gives enough of a good damn about what some current No 10 guy said about some former No 10 guy (who’s in hot water on matters seemingly unrelated to his stint at No 10), to want to play “hush-hush, can’t say” games. “Local swivel-eyed loons,” though, is apparently a bird of a completely different feather.

      • 206

        I had a nice pasta dinner thanks. Setting the record straight about Spaghetti Cat:

        • 247
          Blowing Whistles says:

          Cat you do realise that this whole coulson wanker blogstring is but a spoiler story – meant to distract those who are easilly distracted … Coulson and the ginger bint are quite “Prepared” to take the flak over the next few months [They've had their pay-offs] and as for being called a wanker – where exactly does the story go …. Ughhh nowhere to be precise?

          • Tell me what isn’t a spoiler nowadays, BW. It is clear that the substance of this is pure ephemera. Many commenters feel happy to post on their own topic after the subject has been given a reasonable airing and I do think that as much has been milked out of this as possible.

            But what do you see as the main story of the moment? For me it is Farage who, almost single-handedly is commanding the agendas of the two main parties in a way unprecedented in my experience. And he does not even intend to stand in 2015, preferring to control the main direction without the problems of having to do constituency work. It makes a charade of the whole system and the other party players seem like mere incidentals.

            Your call.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            SC – as you may recall – The key subject matters which I have batted on about for some time here which all ’3 stooge parties agree on’ are Climate bunkum, The EU and Homosexuality. Of course the other subject that dare not speak its name from the 3 stooge parties has been ‘immigration’ [That's cheap labour to those who really know their stuff mind].

            The Government ‘and’ [<note] the Opposition (who are ultimately answerable to the Establishment and not the public as the ruse is … the Establishement not actually being those who the public think they are that is) are beholden to their duping moneylending 'friends' in reality – doesn't matter – lefty or righty – it's all part of the game / ruse / dupe upon the masses really However

            Ukip have struck a cord with the masses – in this I/Net age – whereas for decades the MSM have been able to 'control' the publics perception; that thankfully is a thing of the past now – Genie out of the bottle type of thing.

            When the states own government and opposition are agreed upon bunkum, mythology and palpably proven lies – what does that say about the whole process / system – is it not rotten from its highest echelons – and as for the pa3do classes – it appears that Ministers (that's Government ministers) and their desperation to attain that title is where immunity from prosecution appears to lie.

            If for example Ken Clarke and many of his friends are not to be interviewed 'properly – under caution' by the plod in respect of their alleged criminal activities – where lies what is spoken of as a democracy?

            Are the plod being 'lent upon' to conceal the biggest of hypocrites when it comes to child abuse … ACROSS THE POLITICAL SPECTRUM …

            Is the ball batted back to you SC?

          • You raise some fair points and I agree with your objectives even if I don’t always follow your argument. I have explained to others here that I accept that any misunderstanding could be just as much my fault.

            As to matters criminal, they may be symbolic of the malaise but I believe in due process, however ropey, over the lynch mob mentality. I am all for prosecuting those who break the law but the quality of police, prosecutors and judiciary is often found wanting. This has particularly been exacerbated by the awful quality of law transacted by the last regime, where much of it was posturing.

          • CarryHole is a vile Hunt says:

            It’s all a CONSPIRRAACCYYY!

            Tin foil hats on now!.

          • Same old clapped out rubbish says:

            When you have the three biggest political parties in the country, who are supposedly ideologically and philosophically opposed, but agree on virtually everything.

            Then it is fair to say, that if there is not an actual conspiracy, there is certainly a very unhealthy ( for democracy ) collusion among them.

            The real tin foil hatters are those who choose not to see, what is happening in plain sight before them.

  5. 5
    Dark Side Of The Loon says:

    They’re all mad. They’ve been fecking mad for years.

  6. 6
    efrem zimbalist jr says:

    Afterthought :

    In fact looking at gweed s foto of him this Hayes boy looks a bit of a
    “merchant ” ( banker) himself !!

    • 119
      Bishop Basher with sticky fingers says:

      I thought he looked a bit like that B.N.P bloke after accidentally walking into a very
      big B.l.a.c.k………………………………..Lamp post!

      Hu 3rd attempt

  7. 7
    A Pleb says:

    Are either of them swivel-eyed or is this just a minor spat between loons?

  8. 8
    nellnewman says:

    It seems the occupants of no10 are renowned for their foul mouthed, name calling habits.

    Hardly marks them out as statesmanlike does it?!!!

    • 12
      Ed Miliband says:

      I shall jolly well turn the air blue – er, red – when I become PM. Blinking flip!

      You see, I know how to swear! Now if someone could just explain how to be leader of the opposition I’d be most grateful.


      • 17
        nellnewman says:

        I’m not sure you’re right suggesting militwit does not swear – labour too were renowned for their foul mouthed diatribes .

        Don’t forget alastairdarling’s wife using language even a docker would think twice about.

        The standard of language in public life has deteriorated badly since the advent of The Terror in 1997 and the tories have let themselves become infected by it. Sad!

        • 29
          Sir Bumley Foghorn MP (Much Ranting in the Shires) says:

          I remember the rot setting in even earlier. The language from Willie Whitelaw had to be heard to be believed when he was told the port had run out at our constituency dinner.

        • 101
          Samuel Langhorne Clemens says:

          No, in some instances it always was this bad. I had to advise people not to bring their children to lynchings, because too many in attendance were inebriated, and would cuss like sailors– and children should not have to hear all that foul language.

      • 19
        Yummy says:

        Please Mr Milibland!

        On this historic day where women may marry women, and men may marry men, its best to have no mention of bottoms.

    • 14
      Retired Senior Executive says:

      I’m afraid certain types of person, who consider themselves to be ‘Alpha’ males ( or females now for that matter) does seem to feel this is necessary to bolster their self confidence.
      Really of course it just shows a small mind and limited vocabulary.

    • 16
      Down Shep says:

      I think the sad truth of it is, is that they are all W***ers!.

    • 82
      state of man. says:

      either hitlerian or wimmini or do own thang.
      on an island or on top of the mountain, anything goes.

  9. 10
    StillMakingSense says:

    Is this even news?

    • 15
      Tessa Tickles says:

      No, but it helps push up the blog’s page-view stats. A bit.

      • 21

        Shouldn’t you be listening to the gay marriage vote?
        That’s one for the history books.

        Up there with the reform bill of 1832. The factories act of 1870. The Army act of 1872. The inheritance tax budget of 1911. The clean air act of 1953 and the EEC union of 1973.
        Watch it TT.

        It’ll be something to tell your grandchildren about.

        “I was there{ish} when great events consumed the nation”

        • 23
          Sir Bumley Foghorn MP (Much Ranting in the Shires) says:

          Indeed. All my constituents are so looking forward to the pictures of Poxy Foxy walking up the aisle in his wedding dress, to be greeted by the fragrant Verity.

          • Nigel S says:

            Nave not aisle you chump.

          • Sir Bumley Foghorn MP (Much Ranting in the Shires) says:

            I bow to your knowledge Sir. I have avoided church myself since the unfortunate goings on in the school chapel…..

  10. 11
    Anonymous says:

    This is all a load of B**l*cks!!

  11. 24
    Money Supermeerkat says:

    The art of feeling epic by Nadine Dorries.

    Step 1 – Vote UKIP
    Step 2 – Feel Epic.

  12. 25
    Gay Dave says:

    Shut that door!

  13. 30

    Was it with a capital ‘W’?

  14. 32
    Labour shadow Minister calls for the State to censor the Internet says:
    • 34
      Will says:

      I understand that bbw is a popular search on certain websites. The only way that Diane would get any work after she is voted out of office

    • 47
      Money Supermeerkat says:

      Stop banning things you miserable sow.

    • 49
      Sir William Waad says:

      Define ‘porn’.

      • 84

        Something that I would rather be doing than watching?

      • 85
        state of man. says:


      • 156
        Sir Bumley Foghorn MP (Much Ranting in the Shires) says:

        To quote Justice Potter Stewart of the US Supreme Court (in about 1968 I believe), ‘I may not be able to define pornography, but I know it when I see it’. I cannot imagine what he meant.

    • 51
      JH32489238490234 says:

      Nine out of ten people want you blocked from the airwaves love.

      No such luck though eh.

      It is a PARENTS RESPONSIBILITY what their kid gets access to. You’ll want to automatically block the UKIP web site next, you authoritarian sow.

      • 301
        Earwig O Agen says:

        Make that 99/100 and you will be much nearer the mark. Head ‘teachers’ these days have no more idea than flying in the air. Poor kids.

        • 306
          What a gay day says:

          Why don’t they set up a parallel internet, full of kiddies things only, and have all kiddies wear tags so that whenever one of them gets close to a computer, it triggers the alternative default setting. Just a thought. Yes, tag all kids, and their parents can track them too, just in case the little bleeders are up to no good, as they all do. “Been to see granny have you little Johnny? My arse you have – you’ve been in the park again drinking cider snakebites and smoking tabs, you little shit!”, and etc..

        • 332
          • What a gay day says:

            Their all raving piss heads, never mind school heads. Bunch of bar flies they are in the pub, going across the top shelf. Never met a head teacher yet that isn’t a lush.

    • 118
      JabbaTheCat says:

      Go on, dig up the corpse of Mary Whitehouse…

      • 158
        Sir Bumley Foghorn MP (Much Ranting in the Shires) says:

        Too late. Savile got there years ago.

    • 129
      Tom Catesby says:

      I want a default setting to prevent fatbott appearing on this site.

      • 155
        The wizz says:

        I second that.

      • 302
        Earwig O Agen says:

        Mooddded – and there was me thinking the moddybotty was colour blind!

        • 311
          Dave, Nick and Ed says:

          We’ve instructed moddybotty that all colours are welcome in our modern multicultural U.K., but not traditional white

  15. 33
    Dave Time is Up says:

    If the Tories want to win another election, they better get rid of Camoron really quickly. He does not represent Conservative core voters and this gay marriage bill is an establishment stitch up – a cosy arrangement with Nick Clegg to ensure his continued support. Cameron is gutless and has no core principles a la Blair.

    Farage would represent a good choice for new leader.

    • 37
      nellnewman says:

      I hope after 2015 farage will have several mp’s in the House , including himself. But the sad truth is UkIP cannot win a majority in the present state .

      • 46
        Anonymous says:

        probably not but it might give LibLabCon a badly needed boot up the rear – and who knows, out of little acorns …

      • 219
        Nogbad the Bad says:

        It’s too soon to say, but it will be easier to predict after next years European elections. With FPTP, if one party is taking votes from all the others, and adding people who haven’t voted before, then it is possible to win seats with less than 10,000 votes. UKIP will not win a majority, but neither will anyone else. What are the odds on a ConUKIP coalition? The Cornukipia Party.

        • 248
          My To55er mp is going to get the boot says:

          It’s a new age, no one listens to the media monkeys now.

          VOTE Tooting National Front, sorry got carried away vote UKIP

          you know it makes sense.

        • 304
          Curly says:

          Nog, did you mean Conukipia?

    • 40
      Will says:

      Nigel farage if he gets any MPs will be faced with having to like the liberals have to make real decisions, a problem that they are now having problems in dealing with. It will be interesting to see how ukip councillor actually managed now they are in office.

      • 130
        Bishop Basher with sticky fingers says:

        Will. The same as the Lib/Lab/Con mob.

        Do very little and enjoy the expenses & Jollies.

    • 75
      Anonymous says:

      Dave. Do you know how it all works ? Nige cant be leader of the Conservative party because 1, he isnt a member, 2 he isnt an MP, 3 he isnt bright enough, and 4 he wont be around in 2015.Judging by the temper tantrums he had in scotland, i can see him flouncing off way before then (we can all live in hope)

      • 122
        JabbaTheCat says:

        You’re bringing facts into the conversation, guaranteed to upset the UKIP carrot waxers and steam up their rose tinted glasses…

        • 215
          Bolshevik Brainwashing Countersuggestion says:

          We introduced facts into the conversation.

          Happens we made all of them up but they were still facts.

    • 158
      The wizz says:

      But not under the conservative banner, because the establishment tories are only in politics to feed at the trough.

  16. 35
    Owin Jones says:

    POLITICS: UKIP support soars following public fury over EU plans to ban busty British barmaids from baring their boobs while brewing bitter.

    • 94
      Windmills & Woofters says:

      Mild or bitter?

    • 132
      Bishop Basher with sticky fingers says:

      To stop them dangling in the beer, perhaps.

      • 162
        The wizz says:

        Problem with that is that you would never notice a short pint.

        • 251
          Bishop Basher with sticky fingers says:

          I bloody well would after paying 85% tax on two pints. Only to find I am only getting two sips off some slappers saggy fucking tits. Rip off Britain I say old boy.

  17. 36
    I.KIP.DO.U ? says:

    Accurate and not libel. Nice one.

  18. 41
    A Ginger Gypo who has crawled out of a Bin. says:


  19. 42

    Jodrell Bank is well worth a visit. Don’t pass without pulling in for one.

  20. 43
    Will says:

    It’s amazing how the bbc have ignored the rise of the stock market maybe they don’t like good news

    • 58
      BBC Red Bottom says:

      We only like good news if its about Brucie.
      Or Europe.
      Or Labour

      • 93
        protection. says:

        red tops are the cherri on the cake.
        the milk of duti within.
        kinda like a gentleman’s umbrella.
        the rush of blood is all hot air. retract. condense.
        standing on one’s head is a rush and a condensatri exp.

  21. 44
    Brown out & pay me damages. Respect my legal rights. says:

    Lock em up & throw away the key. A w@nk@ & ginger witch!

  22. 45
    Sir William Waad says:

    This Hayes chap is a bit of a mixture. He’s in favour of field sports (hurrah), anti-gay (don’t care) but, alas, another unthinking greenist (boo!) who thinks we should waste all our wheat to make diesel, probably the most idiotic idea to come from the whole scientastic bunch of them.

    He probably can’t help being ugly but he can help being a boor.

    • 136
      Bishop Basher with sticky fingers says:

      If I had a face like him. I would cut off and grow a scab.

      • 138
        Bishop Basher with sticky fingers says:

        OK OK…….. Cut it off and grow a scab

        • 164
          Sir Bumley Foghorn MP (Much Ranting in the Shires) says:

          You can grow scabs? That could be very useful the next time the chimney sweeps union in Much Ranting goes on strike.

  23. 48
    Intellectually crippled@Edinburgh University. says:

    At last! Someone with a moral spine!

  24. 52
    Ginger Witch. says:

    Stick the Ginger Witch’s broomstick up his Brown Star fish!

  25. 53
    Hunt the Runt says:

    Song for Andy knobend Coulson,

  26. 54
    Down Shep says:

    Barclays Bank 326P.

    • 59
      BBC Red Bottom says:

      Is this good or bad news?
      If its good, stuff it!

      If its bad we’ll add it onto the multi-platform digital worldwide wide webpage that you pay for.

      Thanks for paying everyone. its like the NHS. You pay, but the whole world benefits.
      Makes you glow with pride doesn’t it?

  27. 56
    Andy & Ginger Rogers says:

    Give ‘em 10 years each! Scum!

  28. 60

    Will they save the Bumsex Bill tonight?

    The world hangs on the outcome.

    Never in the field of human inflict was so much plowed by so many into so few.

  29. 62
    Noa Shale-Gas says:

    For those of you interested in energy issues – it seems that Rossi has developed a genuine cold fusion style device which will revolutionise the energy field:

    • 88

      E-Cat HT.

      I knew it all along. Still, good news by the looks of it.

    • 108
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Is it April 1st?

      • 112

        Have you read the attached .pdf?

        • 123
          Universal Hiss says:

          Interesting stuff.

          Off to buy several sacks of nickel.

        • 128
          i don't n eed no doctor says:

          I started to, but then looked on Google for comments. Seems a lot of doubt in the scientific world.

          • The scientific world can only survive upon doubt. It feeds the desire to clear such unknowns but on terms which must bear scrutiny.

            I think that this claim must be taken seriously but have no illusions it may prove flawed. The more opportunities there are between this, shale gas and any other source of energy can only be good for us.

          • Albert A. Gore Jr, Nobel Laureate, says:

            There can be no room for doubt once the science can be made to seem to go my way, at which point the science becomes “settled.” Anyone who does not follow what I have said, to the letter, is a heretic to be utterly decried. We would burn such people, except we are too worried about being seen to be emitting CO2 into the atmosphere. Resistance is futile. Stop asking questions. And you can call me “Al.”

          • stun says:

            Rossi had some issues with previous demonstrations – not letting anyone near to inspect the apparatus – and was branded as something of a charlatan as a result. I couldn’t really ascertain what the test conditions were this time, or how the measurements were taken.

            Lovely thought though. As you say, no avenue left unexplored. Apart from Owen Jones’ of course.

          • No science has ever been, is now, or ever will become settled.

            Not end of story.

          • Noa Shale-Gas says:

            Yes, there’s doubt. That’s how science works. But the paper I cited has some serious profs from ancient seats of learning telling us that cold fusion (or better – Low Energy Nuclear Reaction energy) is real.

          • Twozin Portside says:

            I would like to know what the ‘catalyst’ is, or was. I would like, also, to know what it cost in terms of energy to produce it.

    • 285
      Noa Shale-Gas says:

      In terms of energy generation, it achieves a multiple of somewhere between 2 and 3 in stable operation (much higher in unstable operation).

      It’s all set out in the paper.

      • 322
        JH32489238490234 says:

        Snake oil. About every eighteen months they produce some bullshit paper about what they did in an experiment where no one was allowed to look under some tin foil.

        Voila, credible schmucks rally round and £££ flows in.

        Let a reliable third party reproduce your findings, Rossi. Until then, fuck off.

  30. 63
    DAVE pants on fire CAMERMONG says:

    I say you young chaps out there , don’t sign on , what !
    become an astronaut
    it only cost the tax payer £16 million to train one , so money well spent , what ?
    I also give £250 million a year to the European space programme , so that one day they might just strap an Englishman to a big firework and blast him into space

    Money well spent if you ask me

    Toodle pips

    • 67


      We are actually major players in the space program. Loads and loads of components, hi-tech metals, materials, and propulsion parts are made in the UK.

      the British space industry has seen a resurgence, growing by 7.5 percent since 2008. The country’s ESA contributions have paid dividends as well, with its investment in ESA’s satellite program producing returns of more than six-to-one.

      • 78
        DAVE pants on fire CAMERMONG says:

        If we give millions in tax breaks to companies like Amazon who pay NO tax What makes you think that we don’t give even more money to the space industry as well , allowing them to avoid tax
        It seems that a successful British company is one that gets the most subsidies from the taxpayer

        • 86
          Necker Island Resident says:

          I’d go along with that. The trick is to know when to get out.

        • 289
          M­aq­bo­ul says:

          Amazon in Europe is a Luxembourg company which is free to trade within the EU paying its due taxes in its country of domicile. When a British company trades with Luxembourg, France, Germany or anywhere else in the EU it only pays coporation tax in the UK. You don’t hear the Germans whining on about that.

  31. 65
    Wanted. Conervative Party Leader says:

    So Dave has done a deal with Labour to defeat the Conservative party.

    Will they be advertising for a new leader in the Guardian?

  32. 70
    DAVE pants on fire CAMERMONG says:

    Lots of great gay marriage double entendres on 5 live today With
    Nick Clegg Wanting to get to the bottom of things
    there was also much “when push comes to shove ”
    gay marriage “rammed down our throats ”
    a fair bit of forcing the issue
    And some rather dodgy”Smear campaigns ”


  33. 83
    Leon Brittan says:

    I often had a thomas tank during cabinet meetings.

    • 89
      Windmills & Woofters says:

      Wasn’t that once captured in one of the original Star Wars films?

  34. 87
    Davey C & The Bum Chums says:

    ♫ Sod ‘em all, sod ‘em all,
    The long and the short and the tall,
    Sod all the sergeants and W.O. ones,
    Sod all the corporals and their bastard sons.♫

  35. 92
    Storm clouds over Camoron says:

    Camorons Conservatives joining together with Liebour and the Libcraps, is it going to be called the LibLabCon party, hope they understand 2015 is not to far away, even 2014 the Euro elections will give a hint how fkin wrong Camoron is.

  36. 95

    Data Philosophy or just mere data?

  37. 96
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    It’s a fucking stitch up.

    And I don’t mean Owen Jones arse.

  38. 99
    KY Jelly says:

    A. bandits are now campaigning for NHS funding of gay IVF / egg donation.

    • 102

      I used to prefer brown eggs to white ones as a child but now my thoughts are changing.

    • 104
      Wyle Cop says:

      It’s only a matter of time before we have Bisexual marriage – you’re allowed to marry one of each – and Transgender marriage, too. All because Dave “believes passionately in marriage”.

  39. 103
    Dim Dave. says:

    #Winning. :-)

    • 106
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Another day, another poll, another meaningless set of figures.

      • 143
        anony says:

        meaningless to us but to the parties they are measures of popularism…which is crucial to them

  40. 105
    Universal Hiss says:

    I never thought I’d see this….

    It’ll be compulsory soon.

    Has the whole UK become obsessed?

    • 111
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      They are just widening their circle.

    • 114
      Down Shep says:

      No big surprise is it?, maybe Jesus was gay, always thought there was something funny about the immaculate conception.

      • 135
        Fr. Jethro says:

        114 Welcome to yet another ignoramus, who doesn’t know the difference between The Immaculate Conception (of Mary) and The Virgin Birth of Christ!

        • 141
          Down Shep says:

          Virgin Birth?, and you call me an ignoramus.

        • 366
          The Right Reverend Duncan Ballantyne Vicar of Bath and Wells says:

          You are correct the Wholly Catholic doctrine of the Immaculate conception goes beyond a Virgin Birth and declares that Mary herself was sinless having been conceived without sin. This effectively puts her on the same pedestal as Jesus. For this reason its a no from me , I’m out.

  41. 113
    A chap called Nigel says:

    Wonderful to see that our main latent recruiting Sar*gent CMD*DD

    is creating spectacular increasing results in each new Opinion Poll

    for UKIP……….

    we could not ask for more……but request he continues doing

    what he is doing…..Victory will then be guaranteed……

  42. 120
    Dav says:

    Is this the same John Hayes heard telling his family ‘today we’ll use the lift for the normal people [at BIS] not my special lift’.

  43. 124
    Tom Catesby says:

    I suppose the practice could be handy for when/if he goes down.

  44. 125
    Anonymous says:

    A worker?

  45. 133
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    Wot’s rong wiv that ?

    • 183
      JH32489238490234 says:

      I know. Tell the army that every pound that stops being claimed in London gets added to their budget.

      Watch the issue solve itself.

  46. 134
    Alan Duncan says:

    There are no gays in our party.

  47. 137
    Arse fuck for freedom says:

    I wonder what Farage’s views are on gay marriage…seeing as he is a self proclaimed libertarian.

    He is being remarkably silent on this issue (for the word “remarkably”….read “astute”).

    Just all you UKIP acolytes on here just bear in mind that UKIP/Farage are/is a libertarian. Many libertarian views are at odds with natural conservative values.

    • 144
      Anonymous says:

      Ok I will stop voting UKIP I’m a very silly boy.

    • 163
      Alex slippery Salmond says:

      Facist scum.

    • 178
      stun says:

      So what is the official libertarian view then?

    • 181
      I.KIP.DO.U ? says:

      The only word from UKIP on this has been expressed concern about the implications of ECJ rulings compelling the Churches to marry, possibly allowing statute to trump spiritual law.

      This was only stated in context of UKIP’s position on UK constitutional matters and its position against the subversion of constitutional law through the ECHR / ECJ structures.

      As far as I am aware UKIP are very supporting of civil partnerships and are not homophobic in any way shape or form.

      Their position is fully libertarian. In that their only objection raised on the issue of gay marriage is on concern about the damage it will do to Church and the UK constitution.

      The more important point being glossed over is that the states move in this area is very serious and does represent the merging of Church and State.

      That joining of affairs will have profound implications (as France will soon find out) as it generally leads to unstable structures of governance.

      Let us hope good sense prevails.

      • 231
        Anonymous says:

        I’d wager most Ukip supporters don’t have a clue what libertarianism is. They’re into the nationalism, anti-EU and anti-gay thing. Constitutional implications are not high up on their priorities.

        • 263
          I.KIP.DO.U ? says:

          I think UKIP supporters run counter to your stereotype.

          But, working with the stereotype you present, as has been peddled by the left including Cameron, nationalism and anti-EU are essentially the instinctive reaction to the attack of sovereignty. They both are harking to defense of the constitution.

          The anti-gay thing is more about anti-gay-marriage if there is anything. And that is down to the way this is being pushed through.

          The portrayal that UKIP folk are in some way not aware of or interested in higher concepts is a false projection. Farage’s speeches usually talk directly to these points in very clear terms.

          Any notion that defending liberty and sovereignty requires a ‘superior intelligence’ or ‘knowledge of a higher framework’ is lefty fiction.

          It is moreover a false fiction.

          Defending liberty is as simple as stopping those who would deny it.

          Being a libertarian boils down to knowing very simply what is morally right, and what is wrong, and believing that people should be free to make their own decisions.

          Defending sovereignty requires nationalism. Nationalism is not bad provided it is not used to overtly deny liberty.

          It is the denial of liberty and democratic expression which the LibLabCon and in particular the EU are wishing to do.

          The change in voter sentiment towards UKIP reflects that the people have become aware of this and are now starting their reaction to it.

    • 239
      Magic 8 Ball says:

      You do, if you’d forgive, highlight the fundamental hypocrisy that is shared by much of the Right, not just UKIP.

      Though I am sure there is some mileage in also juxtaposing the economically conservative with the socially liberal.

    • 319
      Wyle Cop says:

      Why don’t you get off your arse and look for yourself:

  48. 145
    Owin Jones says:

    This calls fro a celebration in my traditional manner.

    Anyone else for a spot of “cottaging” ?

  49. 149
    Owen Jones wails and says:

    Yahoo are taking over Tumblr, just before it runs out of cash. Where am I going to get my gay porn now?

  50. 160
    Vote Tory, get heir to Blair says:

    “Survation have put out a new poll, the topline voting intention figures are CON 24%(-5), LAB 35%(-1), LD 11%(-1), UKIP 22%(+6). The 22% for UKIP is the first poll to show them breaking the twenty percent mark.”

    Going up. UKIP now only 2 points behind the Tory toffs.

    • 161
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Another worthless poll.

      • 168
        Anonymous says:

        I’m sure you wouldn’t say that if it had the Tories beating Labour, how many more times have your party leadership gotta tell you to f uck before you actually do?

        • 171
          i don't n eed no doctor says:

          Tories are not “my party”, I just hate the lying hypocrites in labour.

  51. 166
    Uriah Creep. says:

    Very ‘umbled. Very ‘umbled indeed.

  52. 167
    Chris Bryant says:

    I’m the only gay in my underpants in parliament.

  53. 169
    Henry VIII says:

    I’m Henry the VIII, I am, I am!

    • 202
      Peter Noone says:

      Aitch! Eee! Enn Arr Why! Henery– Henery– Henery the Afe I am, I am– Henery the Afe I am! (*diddle dum*)

  54. 170
    Doth protest too much says:

    Homophobic right wingers seem to spend more time thinking about gay sex than gays do. Even when the issue of gay marriage didn’t exist, the daily comments here have had a strangely disposortionate preoccupation with homosexuality. A case of those who shout the loudest.

    • 180
      Matthew Francis says:

      You wish!

    • 182
      Pink Mafia says:

      A disproportionate preoccupation with homosexuality seems to sum up our entire political establishment. Not surprising when you consider the vastly disproportionate number of homosexuals in politics.

      • 194
        JadedJean says:

        And J*ws.

        Btw have you considered why there is a disproportionate number of J*ws represented in Parliament? (when considering the null hypothesis). There is a link…can you work it out?

    • 186
      Sir William Waad says:

      I have never thought of homosexuality as wrong, just vastly over-rated.

    • 190

      So everyone else in the world has rights – except homophobic right wingers?


      Oh and the judgement of what constitutes a homophobic right wingers lies with you, the BBC, the Grauniad and Stonewall?


      • 208
        Doth protest too much says:

        I have no problem with you hating whoever you choose. It’s your prerogative to like or dislike anyone. My point was simply that, independent of the current gay marriage issue, comments here generally have and have had a fixation with homosexuals, even when the issue at hand has had nothing to do with gays. It’s just very telling that some people – and I’m not saying this is true of you, Cat – are obsessed with letting everyone know how disgusting they think gays are.

        • 235

          Though I do not like the idea of homosexuality, there are some gays whom I like more than other straight people. I judge them on their own merits.

          The problem is here that David Cameron, apparently to ingratiate himself with a section of society, wants to pass this legislation which many believers (I am not one but I respect their right to believe) find distasteful. In doing so he is legislating for the church which is quite wrong. Even to prohibit the church from doing something it does not want to do anyway, sets up the opportunity for someone to challenge that under the arse wrecking (forgive me if I sound carried away) law of the EU which no absolutely one in the country has voted for.

          All this time, the same EU is wasting our money and failing for decade after decade to account properly for its expenditure.

          I don’t blame a soul here who fulminates about this obscene distortion of priorities when the government should be acting in the immediate and vital interests of the UK. If its citizens want to pass legislation to make homosexuality mandatory in all schools from the age of 16, then that is what they can vote for. At such time I would change my nationality, having already emigrated.

          Sometimes the interests of the greater population can only be brought to the attention of the mentally fogbound politically elite by colourful language which highlights these gross discretions. I happily admit to doing this myself. But although done from a position of anger, it is considered in the sense that if it attracts people’s attention and even results in change then it may be considered justified. Call it passive terrorism if you will.

          The left never use the opportunity to employ this tactic so why should the right forbear?

          • The left never use lose the opportunity…

          • Jimmy says:

            The point of the exercise was to use an emblematic, but cheap, initiative as a demonstration that the party was detoxified. The flaw in the plan was that he neglected to carry out the detoxification first. What he fails to grasp that if he were genuinely to tackle the loons, the public would support him. After all, wasn’t that supposed to be the whole point of him?

          • I think you have a fair point, Jimmy.

            Whether you and I would differ on what is classified as a loon is, of course, another matter.

          • Jimmy says:

            We had them too. Once you get rid of them you end up wondering why you put up with them so long.

          • I have long had a suspicion that the party political system has had its day.

  55. 174
    'Call me Dave' Dave says:

    There must be votes in allowing onanists to marry…themselves! Bashing the bishop in the grace of our Lord will play well in Hoxton.

    • 187
      Sir William Waad says:

      So why not polygamy and polyandry?

      • 222
        Pork PIEs says:

        Lowering the age of consent will be next. Another hot topic for our political class.

      • 223
        Tachybaptus says:

        And shouldn’t people with multiple personality disorders be allowed to marry all of themselves?

  56. 175
    Dave has Fudged the vote says:

    The arse bandits have taken over the country.

    Just what is the point of a Mr and Mr?

    • 191
      Dave has packed the fudge! says:
    • 195
      Camp David says:

      Parliament, The BBC, The C of E, Roman Catholic Church, Courtiers around Royalty.

      The great centres of power.

      All staffed disproportionatly with sodomites.


      Wakey. Wakey.

      • 217
        Chef Tony and his dodgy knives says:

        Yes, that in a nutshell is the situation.

        The british establishment is not representative of the people it rules over in more ways than one.

    • 196
      Inshallah says:

      Don’t worry – we’ll sort it out.

      The fudgepackers and their f!lthy friends will be dealt with.

      Sharia for all, soon. It’s what LibLabCon would want.

  57. 177
    Fuck Off Dave. You are in the wrong party (if your membership has not been taken away) says:

    How grubby can you get? A so called conservative PM has to grovel to the Labour party to come to his assistance to defeat the Conservative party.

    • 193
      Windmills & Woofters says:

      Couldn’t agree more. The man (?) is a total disgrace.

      The. Tory. party. must. get. organised. and. get. rid. of. this. freak.

      Frank Luntz is a fat c.unt and totally to blame for this shite.

      • 210
        Dangerous times says:

        No, just ditch the Tories. They are really not worth the time and trouble saving.

        The time for sentimentalities over political parties is long past.

        Parties should be seen as tools for the better governance of the country. Nothing more.

        The trouble for the liblabcon party tribalist is their party became more important than the country.

  58. 184
    Anonymous says:

    Nick Herbert gay Con. Currently fighting against equal rights for straight people.

    • 192
      Windmills & Woofters says:

      While debating these issues, all homo speakers should wear a pink badge so we know for who’s side they are batting.

      Today’s DP had at least six sodomites on it. Is this a record for the BBC?

      Poor Jo didn’t know which way to turn.

  59. 189
    WoRaft ChIHUAHua says:

    I wonder when Cameron will declare the state of emergency and ban any meetings or membership of UKIP, on the grounds that counter-revolutionaries must be suppressed.

    • 198
      Camoron's P45 says:

      He’d better do it quick, because he’s going to be powerless any day now.

      • 226
        Camermong's Next Employer says:

        Well there isn’t much to it.

        Just smile, and before completing the order always ask the customer if they would like some fries.

        We are looking forward to having him on board.

    • 201
      Dangerous times says:

      Be under no illusions. All sorts of dirty tricks are being planned behind closed doors, you can bet on it.

      The UKIP is effectively taking on all the political power structures and vested interests that keep the nice cosy corrupt status quo running.

      • 220
        Anonymous says:

        aye some people might want to consider being a little less forthright regarding their opinions regarding bummers for a start. in fact why not try and highlight some of the good things…

        if it hadn’t been for the oppression of homosexuals and black people disco wouldn’t have been invented.

        all sorts of great art begets from oppression and no doubt if i could be arsed (no pun intended) to read up on rudolf steiner he probably commented similarly albeit with some additional notion of polar temporal forces clashing as a means to perpetuate our physical being.

        you may not care about the world and their dog knowing your opinions on all things chutney ferret but if you are posting such things in the same breathe as mentioning other stuff like vote this or that well it ain’t gonna resonate marvelously with the brainwashed hoards.

        but you would have figured that already right? so who exactly is posting all this rabid anti-bum bum shite…

        • 229
          Lateral Thought says:

          Probably some on the loony left (sic) who are trying to stir things up.

          Unless it is some common purpose parasite: That is part of what they are about.

          Looking at the poll results, the gay marriage item is a damp squib, and all parties would probably prefer not to have to deal with it right now.

          But, on the bright side, as they are tied up with that, and on the serious sensitive issue which they are struggling to keep a facade of credibility on, they cannot deal with the bigger problem: UKIP

          Folk do care more about the EU question, and are voting with their feet, party membership decisions, donations, support and in the future, their vote, and the LibLabCon now realize they are a collective busted flush.

          What is amusing. They will damage some of the UK constitution and also their own governance structure on an issue which affects ~ 2% of the population, yet they have so far lost to UKIP about 20% of the vote.

          In electioneering terms this is like Brown’onomics applied to elections. The first taste of this was in 2010.

          The gay marriage vote is fine, provided we exit the EU and the churches are not going to be forced to perform the ceremony against their wishes by the ECJ.

          If this passes, this is a more urgent reason to have that referendum sooner rather than later and get the Lisbon Article 50 machinery moving.

  60. 200
    Where's Gordon? says:
  61. 207
    The Tory Party is dead, long live the new Tory says:

    So will we see a CDP (Conservative Democratic Party) rising from the ashes?

  62. 209
    Bull & Bare says:

    So will the Bank of, sorry, Church of Scotland`s reach out to bull dyke razor haired vicars have `em flocking down the aisles?

  63. 214
    Gay Watch says:

    Just.ine, a very modern Tory name, unmarried still we see?

  64. 216
    Future Tory Leader says:

    Does Justine Greening have a boyfriend?

    Hope so.

  65. 218
    swivel-eyed loon says:

    swivel-eyed loons

  66. 221
    Frank Carson says:

    Why did he call Andy Coulson a waiter?

  67. 227
    Career advice for Dave says:

    Preserve a little dignity.

    Fuck off now before you are shoved.

    • 233
      JadedJean says:

      But he has his Bilderberger instructions…he is performing to plan.

      He will be rewarded later for services to capital.

  68. 228
    Tachybaptus says:

    A serious question: parliaments are now fixed-term. What happens if the Conservatives genuinely split, so that some MPs resign the whip and call themselves Independent Conservatives or some such? Dave and his so-called coalition partners will then have no chance of ever having a majority except by pure chance, a situation that Labour will exploit to the full.

    But what happens then? He can’t call a general election. Can he resign and call on the Queen to form a new government? Or does he have to drag his political corpse through the mud till 2015?

    Either way, it looks like a Labour government; which Dave richly deserves to suffer, but our poor battered country does not.

    • 230
      Point of Information says:

      I think under the new rules you may end up with a Labour government.

      Have a feeling these days if the sitting government collapses, then instead of a general election being called the opposition will be given an opportunity to take power without an election.

      This is controversial, but there was a rule change Dave put through shortly after he got into power which allows that.

      Not sure Labour really want to get in though, this way or any other.

      The poison chalice that is UK governance they will not want to sup from as they realize that it will be certain death for their party.

    • 237
      Lord Duckhouse of Pondlife says:

      There is some provision under Section 2 of the Fixed-term Parliaments Acts 2011 for dissolving parliament before the end of a 5-year term.

      If the House of Commons resolves “That this House has no confidence in Her Majesty’s Government”, an early general election is held, unless the House of Commons resolves “That this House has confidence in Her Majesty’s Government”.

      This second resolution must be made within fourteen days of the first.
      If the House of Commons, with the support of two-thirds of its total membership (including vacant seats), resolves “That there shall be an early parliamentary general election”.

      In either of these two cases, the monarch (on the recommendation of the Prime Minister) appoints the date of the new election by proclamation. Parliament is then dissolved 17 working days before that date.

    • 240
      The wizz says:

      I think you’ll find that the Men in Grey Suits will visit Dave and give an ultimatum, then leave. Whilst leaving behind a loaded automatic pistol and a bottle of his favourite spirit. The automatic pistol? Just in case he misses first time.

      • 245
        Farewell wave, to Dave says:

        He should try suck starting that pistol, and keep at it until he gets it right.

        Oh, that is what he’s doing.

  69. 232
    Cwispy pants Bwyant says:

    I was determined to get this bill rammed through.

  70. 234
    gone to the great roadhouse in the sky... says:

    ♥♥♥ ray manzarek ♥♥♥

    • 243


      I always thought him to be curiously earnest for a rock performer and it is true that Morrison was compulsive to watch which made Manzarek seem more background.

      Nothing was further from the truth and his compositional and playing skills, on bass, as well as the more normal keyboards, helped to create the Door’s signature sound.

      I remember the very first time they appeared on TOTP in 1968 with Hello I Love You, punk way before its time. Influenced by the Kinks, they went on to influence the Stranglers and so many others. They also seemed to enjoy a regular renaissance every decade or two as new generations of young people saw their appeal afresh.

      • 249
        Down Shep says:

        This is the End!, my friend.

        • 259
          Kurt Weill says:

          Ray and Jim and John and Robby did a half-decent job on one of my songs, from The Rise and Fall of the City of Mahagonny:

          “Oh, moon of Alabama, we now must say goodbye
          We’ve lost our dear ol’ Momma, and we must have whiskey, and now you know why. (2X)”

          RIP Ray. Hope you’ve found your way to the next Whiskey Bar at last. Too bad you had to die to do it.

      • 253
        Anonymous says:

        too true sc his playing skills were exemplary, the band had no bass guitar player so ray would use one hand to knock out bass using a fender rhodes keyboard whilst the other hand tinkered out melodies (usually on a vox organ if i remember correctly).

        you/others might find the following an interesting read…

      • 317
        What a gay day says:

        He was a brilliant keyboardist, and was a good foil to Jim, who was always on the edge, we could say. RIP, and all that.

  71. 250
    Lord Heppingfield of Dunelm Mills says:

    I am suitably disappointed at such ridiculous drivel.

  72. 252
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Cameron has been “COOKing” the books, burying the truth and concealing his own shortcomings for decades.

    See Book by F Elliott & J Hanning “Cameron The Rise Of The New Conservative” page 180 – Knightsbridge Carlton Communications 1997-2001 part quote:

    “… Cameron’s conduct as a corporate spin doctor in the late 1990s was to come back to haunt him just as his bid for the Tory leadership caught fire in 2005. The allegations levelled then – that he was obstructive, bullying and on at least one occasion downright misleading – still resonate, menacingly, today.”

    BTW FU Cameron.

    • 300
      What a gay day says:

      Cameron is now being caught out now, finally – his mates cannot conceal his ineptness any more, it is tidal now in how it is showing how crap he is as PM.

  73. 254
    Blowing Whistles says:

    “NEVER FORGET” – Cameron – “Let the CAT out of the bag” – with his homosexual reference on the Phillip Schofield / MacAlp pa3do interview – when Cameron ‘brought up the issue & reference to homosexuals’ …

    FU Cameron.

  74. 255
    Jimmy's Rightie Quote Of The Day says:

    “Some of the greatest Brits in history have been persecuted for their sex lives. Oscar Wilde comes to mind.”

    [luke bozier, butch's self effacing star recruit]

    • 260
      Oscar Wilde, posing as a "somdomite[!]", says:

      “I can resist everything except temptation.”

      • 270
        Tachybaptus says:

        Oscar never posed as a somdomite. He was a real honest-to-God somdomite, give or take an m. These words were written by the Marquess of Queensberry on a visiting card left for Oscar, and goaded him into the idiotic lawsuit that undid him. It was a death wish, really, forcing him to disclose himself as a real bugger to avoid the slight of being a phoney one.

        • 282
          Oscar Wilde says:

          Given it was the Marquess of Queensberry I was up against, I probably should have just “boxed his ears,” and there was an end to it– you think?

          • What a gay day says:

            James the First was a raving shirtlifter, and he was from the early seventeenth century. But no newspapers about then, of course, to gossip.

          • grama says:

            Those boxing rings, always square the circles.

          • What a gay day says:

            Can’t a handjobby with boxing gloves on.

          • Long John Silver's parrot says:

            But an illegal act is an illegal act.

            If you break the law you often go to prison or a two star hotel.

            You can get out of it by offering to put a bracelet on your ankle.

          • What a gay day says:

            “Can’t do a…” even. And the only time they want do go down on the canvass, too.

  75. 264
    Focus says:

    The only important political decision which should be on the agenda at present is securing the referendum for the British people on continued membership of the EU.

    The rest is distraction.

    • 272
      Blowing Whistles says:

      The only important political decision is for the fucking politicals to stop saying they are ‘listening’ to the public – BUT TO ACT UPON WHAT THE PUBLIC DEMAND OF THE CIRCUS that Parliament has become.

      The whole current crop of politicals in parliament – need just that ‘cropping’ – kicking out – hanging would be too good for them – I’d like to see them removed and suffer for all the rest of their lives for their sheer blind stupidity, pig ignorance and bloody minded greed … but hey what would I know?

      • 273
        Blowing Whistles says:

        P.S. – If the queen can ‘only act upon the advice of her Ministers’ – and her Minsiters are all corrupted, entrapped and blackmailed – what does that say for the system …?

        • 275
          Focus says:

          ‘but hey what would I know?’ : More than most.

          ‘what does that say for the system …?’ : It is time for change. Big change.

          The circus which Parliament has descended into is a function of leaving those in perceived power who have no power.

          Most of the major decisions are being made in EU and dictated to the UK at present. This is why we have a manager (Cameron) rather than a leader.

          If the foundations of the pyramid of credibility which is currently keeping them in place degrades further, consider that the defection of local council / activists / candidates over to UKIP, the house will fall: And quite rapidly.

          The end of this is not too far away now.

          • What a gay day says:

            I want to stay in the EU, and I do not think much of the mass hysteria that is going on at present, it is all a pile of tripe arguments. However, I would like Scotland to become independent, since I think Westminster has shafted them for far too long now, and Westminster does need an attitude adjustment which Scotland going independent will do – it would really shake it up, and about time too.

  76. 266
    q says:

    wankers, loons you’ve got the lot in the toryee partee

    precisely where did it all go so wrong ….. hehehehe?

    • 269
      Blowing Whistles says:

      The exact same ‘applies’ to the Labour and Lib Dem party. Wake fuckin up you political tribal mongrel.

      • 296
        What a gay day says:

        As messes go, the Torys are in a right one, right up to their swivelling eyeballs.

  77. 290
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    It seems to me we should all be very careful what we say about our former employee Andrew Coulson.

    He is at present about to stand criminal trial and if found guilty he could face a custodial sentence.

    Not only that but from the little I know about this thoroughly unsavoury matter in the event of a conviction the buck may well not start and stop with him.

    Best to say nothing and let justice take its course in September 2013.

    On the basis he is found not guilty with the rest of them then with a bit of luck Me Leveson can get on with the rest of his Inquiry at the back end of the year.

    • 297
      What a gay day says:

      September 2013? JEZZUZ – another War and Peace case. How old is Coulson? Perhaps he can get the case delayed until he snuffs it, as per Savile.

  78. 303
    a non says:

    The Marriage [Same Sex Coupes] Bill to meet ‘stiff’ resistance in the Lords reports SKY?
    Good to know that even they [SKY] like participants on Guido’s site cannot write a simple sentence without some inyouendo, sic remark.

    The world is inhabited by luhnes.

  79. 307



    • 309
      Goodbye...and you can have custody of Nick says:

      Latest poll released yesterday late afternoon puts UKIP only 2 points behind Conservative…..the divorce papers are being prepared and will be served on Cameron shortly

      • 312
        What a gay day says:

        Squirrels have started a campaign – now they want to marry in church too.

      • 315
        What a gay day says:

        “Because of the oddities of the first-past-the-post electoral system, the poll would give Labour 377 seats, Tories 205 seats, Lib Dems 39 seats and Ukip one seat if replicated at a general election.”

        Nice one – cheers Goodbye…and you can have… Good news.

        • 324
          Do not vote for the NON-CONS says:

          Unfortunately we will probably have to put up with another Liebour Government in order to destroy Cameron and all his fellow PC non Conservatives.

          It won’t make much difference in the short term because the latter are pursuing LibLabConner policies in all respects.

          • What a gay day says:

            No much alternatives, is there? Said in another thread the SNP should go UK wide, I would vote for them. Think Alex Salmond will make a brill PM in Westminster.

          • Bert Camus says:

            I have seen a grey man in a blue suit driving a jaguar.

            Such men are dangerous.

          • What a gay day says:

            …and furthermore, Scotland will drop independence then if Alex becomes PM in Westminster. Bit like the House of Stuarts in the seventeenth century again, sort of.

        • 335
          Vote Tory, get heir to Blair says:

          Why should the UKIP momentum that Farage has created suddenly stop? UKIP was polling 10%, then 15%, then 20%, now 22%. When/if it gets to around 30% (only another 8 points) the whole thing changes and UKIP could easily get 200 seats without trying very hard and getting them equally from Labour and the Tory toffs.

          • Anonymous says:

            Ah but the UKIP is a ‘protest’ party according to the liblabconers. And any minute now they’ll all come running back to the Liblabcon fold, just you wait and see.

            As if the sh1t that is driving people out of the mainstream parties is suddenly going to all go away!

    • 334
      Charlie Drake says:

      Another Bank failure and with a bit of luck we will have one of those technocrat Governments installed on us by Brussels and they will straight away sack 10% of all civil servants, reduce private/ public partnerships by 10% by value and sell one of our two non nuclear aircraft carriers to Argentina.

      • 377
        E. Conner-Myst says:

        I think you’ll find that Cyprus currently has more cash on hand than the Argybargies.

  80. 325
    Lost in Clacton says:

    Who is running this country?

    Cameron or Milliband?

  81. 331
    Dave Beckham says:

    Does anyone here know Dave’s target reduction figure for unemployment by the end of the year?

    • 340
      What a gay day says:

      Sorry, forgot how to do calculus – it’s been years since I was in college, remembering my differential and integral equations and laws to calculate what the fuck is in Cameron’s mind for that figure.

      • 349
        Dave the Non-Con Nonce says:

        What’s the problem. It’s already arranged. I will let in millions of Roman Bulgars to help the Poles do all the basic work. The British unemployed can just get fucked. I don’t care.
        Toodle Pip.

        • 358
          What a gay day says:

          Yes, they are running nightclasses in Bulgaria and Romania as we speak, in how to wipe out Brit arses for us after our daily abolutions, since that is above us now.

  82. 338
    Charlie Drake says:

    The Country is in the mess it is because not enough people at the last Election could get off their fat bottoms and vote in more Conservative MPs.

    Voters in some places like for example Eastleigh should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves and I suggest there should be a separate one off tax imposed upon them.

    • 341
      What a gay day says:

      Ha-Ha, nice one, twit!


    • 348
      albacore says:

      When the cat’s away, the mice will play
      No pussies in Parliament today
      But a pack of rats, gnawing away
      Gambolling in the country’s decay
      So what way remains to make them pay?
      Revolution, do I hear you say?

      • 361
        What a gay day says:

        Bring back Oliver Cromwell I say – he was good at sorting out gobshites wherever he found them, albacore.

        • 375
          Ol' Crummy says:

          I await my Nation’s call. I am here to serve. ‘Twould only be the Christian thing to do.

  83. 339
    s says:

    funny how, yet again, the troubles of this government are screened by the british media going into overdrive with the american weather – more wall to wall tragedy from the usa brought to you by sky – you’d be forgiven for thinking there had never been a tornado in the states until sky invented them – what utter shit the british media is

    • 378
      Curly says:

      Agreed. Seems there is sod all else going on in the world at the moment. It’s all over the American channels too.

  84. 345
    Ex pat former higher rate tax payer says:

    Will someone for me give Cameron a good kick up the backside.

    I thought he was rubbish in Opposition that time when Brown told him about the Bank bailouts and he went all limp and quiet and just let it happen.

    I want clear dominant policies which work and Ministers and Backbench MPs who stand to attention when he speaks.

    I do not think it is expecting too much to expect low taxes and efficient public services which represent value for money for the taxpayer.

  85. 350
    a non says:

    Where does the Conservative party go from here, but more importantly they are rapidly running out of leadership material to take over the reins?
    Dave is toast.
    Boris has again been confirmed as blotting his copybook by scattering seeds that fail to fall on stony ground, although it’s a welcome return to Tory normallity after too many reports about raving irons in the party.
    After the Gay Marriage fiasco going against the wishes of many, where does one find an electable Conservative hermaphrodite in the party to cater for all tastes?

    • 352
      Owin Jones says:

      good luck sweetheart 😘

      • 353
        a non says:

        Suggesting a / an hermaphrodite is taking a middle of the road approach, shurley.

        Many too many homophobes or in your case heterophobes out there at the moment to obtain a balanced conversation.

        When Milibland goes, Labour at least has the Harminator to tick all the boxes.

  86. 351
    THE BIG MAN says:

    Cyprus-style crash could hit independent Scotland because banking sector is 1250% bigger than its economy, Treasury warns

    Whaaaaat th fook ya oon aboooot?

    • 367
      Rob Roy says:

      Give us our independence and we Scots will have to sort out this problem.

      It will not be the problem of the English anymore.

      Scrap the Referendum and give us independence now.

      What have you got to lose ?

      Why are you so frightened of an independent Scotland?

      • 380
        Solyushuns says:

        Probably because within the year you’ll be back grovelling for a bail out from the English.

  87. 354
    CCHQ Press Officer says:

    Owen Jones Calls Dan Hodges a “W***er”

    Ooh ! you’re such a bitch,Owen,you roaring poof.

    • 364
      What a gay day says:

      Get Glenda his mam to tell him off, and Owen will not be wanting her on his doorstep giving him an earache,

      • 368
        What a gay day says:

        Glenda the Brill “I have got two Oscars you know” Jackson on the Muppets,

        • 369
          What a gay day says:

          Heard she uses her Oscars to hold her front and back door open on summer days, but that might be just a rumour.

          • What a gay day says:

            whoops! That sounds a bit rude – her house doors open I mean, not “other”! :)

          • What a gay day says:

            Might as well make a good job of it,

          • What a gay day says:

            sod it, Ricky Gervais when he met a Muppet the puppetmaster of it going, AHEM!, through “things” at the moment, with Savile things alleged,

  88. 356
    Dr Owen Jones says:

    Are you worried that one of your children is gay? Simply ask a priest to exorcise the foul demons that are consuming their soul.

    • 365
      What a gay day says:

      Could always cut they balls off, or even their clit, in the reverse circumstances?

      Sorry for being blunt, but do I care? NOOOO!

  89. 360
    The morals of a character from Shameless says:

    I see Boris continues to do his bit in destroying the institute of marriage.

    • 363
      What a gay day says:

      What has Boris said now? Still banging on about sausages?

      Buy Simonds Irish sausages Boris, better than those crap Walls ones, I found. But those curly-twirley Cumberland sausages are right tasty though.

  90. 376
    Trevor from Trehebert says:

    Paxman is now saying he has heard the same phrase used before in high Tory circles.

    If they have that level of contempt for their own kind how can they be entrusted to govern for the benefit of those who do not share their ideology?

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Kevin Maguire on the less than electrifying Ed Miliband…

“I bet if you went into a pub tonight and started a conversation about ­politics you’d hear strong opinions. David Cameron would be out of touch and Nick Clegg despised while Nigel Farage would divide people sharply. Miliband? In a lot of boozers he’d be the fourth most interesting man in British politics.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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