May 20th, 2013

Champagne and iPhones – on the Taxpayer, Natch
+NHS England Blow £177,028 on iPhones For Staff+
+Parliament’s £280,000 Deal for Exclusive Wines+

There was plenty of your cash being artfully projected up walls in this week’s Sun column. Firstly Guido revealed that NHS England, the new public body set up to implement Tory health reforms, has blown a staggering £177,028 on top-of-the-range iPhones. 400 to be precise – enough to pay for seven newly trained nurses. Which makes you wonder about their “key aim of securing the best possible health outcomes for patients by prioritising them in every decision it makes.”

Over in Parliament, the Men in Tights have awarded snooty wine merchants Ellis of Richmond a £280,000 contract “for the supply of a global selection of quality still and sparkling wines” for the House of Commons wine list. MPs were “seeking to appoint a single supplier, who can demonstrate that they have the ability to consistently supply the best quality Wines, Sparkling Wines, and Champagnes” which “are not widely available on the High Street”.

Of course none of that ordinary common plonk would be good enough for the subsidised boozers who rule over us.


  1. 1

    I can confirm that the wine wash of ex..ex..ecshellent quality and grea{hic}t value for money

    • 6
      Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

      Cameron and his Torys are pissing money up the wall like nobodies business as we speak, tell me something I don’t know! The Torys are totally out of control and totally nuts, as depicted perfectly by that that gormless Tory fuck, Gove.

      • 8
        V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

        The political class still don’t get it, the public is sick of the waste and theft. They should all be strung up and the whole thing should be started again.

      • 22
        Anonymous says:

        The conservatives are head and shoulder above the opposition ! silence from Milliband and Nick, Nigel showing his true colours ! no contest !

      • 23
        Trashy swivel eyed loon says:

        Which part of the LabLibCon doesn’t piss other peoples money away these days? They’re all in it together.

      • 70
        They're All In It Together says:

        I’ll think you’ll find Gove is part of the ‘progressive’ politics of our age. He used to be a visitor to the London Democratic Left think ins (this was the new friendly name for the old CPGB) in the 90s. The elite are the same regardless of party the only difference is which friends and family they give our cash to.

    • 37
      Parker says:

      this isn’t the 19th Century Guido, iphones are hardly an extravagant example of wealth, they are a necessary part of business.

      would you rather staff couldn’t access emails etc. on the move, never were contactable etc?


      • 42
        Call me Dave says:

        You can purchase a smartphone for a lot less than a premium Apple iPhone.

        • 50
          Parker says:

          the implication from guido isn’t that they got a bad procurement deal, but that they shouldn’t have any iphones at all instead of employing nurses.

          • If it smells like socialism - it is! says:

            How about buying their own with a repayable loan and claiming for the calls?

          • They're All In It Together says:

            Perhaps there’s a new app iNurse that simply does away with all the expensive training just point it at the patient and away you go? Knowing our luck it would be knocked out by some outsourced code warrior (i.e. 17 year old in India) and simply recommend the Liverpool Care Pathway in every case.

          • Ed Moribund says:

            Look out chaps..we’ve been rumbled on our “NHS smooth as a baby cost cutting lovely smiley face, we love you nurses” [working title] manifesto.

      • 45
        Parker says:

        next uproar from Guido


        sometimes you are so wrong it is funny.

        • 53
          BalearicLion says:

          Apple products are expensive and not the best. Samsung make some wonderful tablets that make the iPad look like slate and chalk. As for phones they are used to make calls, there are plenty of cheaper alternatives around or is it a case of, Ohh, I cannot be seen in a wine bar without an iPhone.

          • Parker says:

            it could indeed be an android tablet, it’s the prinicpal here. as with many libertarians, guido appears to be opposed to progress

            bring back the 1950s, vote UKIP etc.

          • Anarchists in Blazers says:

            Well said Comrade. But don’t forget how beautiful the fifties were when we were all back there in Moscow.

        • 69
          If it smells like socialism - it is! says:

          If the NHS could ever achieve efficiency savings that were given back to the taxpayer – who would complain?

        • 79
          They're All In It Together says:

          If only expensive ICT equipment in the NHS did result in more effective all would be well. But in most cases where the aim is to stream line information flow as opposed to diagnostics the result has been patchy at best. In a case like this it looks very much like throw the latest bit of gizmo kit ‘my daughter uses’ at a problem. There are and have been many projects to give staff on the wards direct data access to patient records that then cascade the update to all relevant parties for that patient. However in practice they have all failed to deliver the promised revolution. But they did deliver some great commission to the IT salesmen.

        • 83
          M­aq­bo­ul says:

          NHS England is not staffed by nursing staff you mug. These iPhones – not iPads – are being given to the well-paid administrators to save them coming into the office too early to check their emails (ie before lunch).

      • 46
        Trashy swivel eyed loon says:

        Never heard of a mobile phone?

      • 48
        DL George says:

        You can do all that and more on an android for less than £50.
        Who’s the idiot?

      • 57
        Living in 97.1% white Merseyside says:

        I should imagine everyone of the 55% of Birkenhead’s population dependent on hand-outs has an iphone.

        What is an iphone?

        • 94
          Anonymous says:

          In 1980-90 the chip industry advanced massively. They were funded by business to create “Workstations”.
          Then IBM made the PC to allow every company to own a computer. These were enabling devices, for design and accountancy, to streamline industries.

          Then we were left with a wonderful technology, and needed a use. We made games, then phones, now we make all sorts of hand held play things.

          An iPhone is just a toy for those that feel isolated and lonely. Think of it as a safety blanket for kids.

          We are in the age of distraction and play. The products do not advance any industry they are the final industry. Everything revolves around getting the next toy on expenses.

          • M­aq­bo­ul says:

            It is an electronic leash. You are at work 24/7 with an iPhone.

          • They're All In It Together says:

            Think you’ll find just as the purpose of a commercial print publication or commercial tv station is to delivery its audience to advertises mobile devices (smart phones, pads etc…) have exactly the same objective. But unlike the old tech these little chaps know where you are, what browse, who you call/email and what you’ve spent. Ad mans’ dream come true.

        • 106
          Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

          How’s Liverpool these days lad, my friend used to work as a nurse in one of the big hospitals there, but she tragically died from diabetes complications in her late forties a couple of years ago, born with it, not her fault at all, she had hard core diabetes, Fiona. Broke my heart when I heard it. She was a BIG Liverpool FC supporter, that is why she wanted to work in Liverpool. Remember going into her bedroom when she was sixteen, Kenny Dalglish on her wall, Graham Souness, McDermott and what’s his name, oh yes, Hansen.

          Miss her in life.

          • M­aq­bo­ul says:

            Brought a tear to my eye did that. Shame she wasn’t a Man U supporter, then she wouldn’t have to live in the city like the rest of them and could commute up from London or Bournmouth on match days.

          • Dave Spartacus says:

            Expect to hear that Yewtree has arrested all those footballers.

          • Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

            ACH, grow some balls lad, that’s life. I am welsh also, and I am a life long Leeds United supporter. But yes, when her mother told me that born diabetes got the better of her, I cried for an hour, I was beside myself in grief. fucking tears are coming down now again…

          • Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

          • Windmills & Woofters says:

            Leeds United were a proper man’s team.

            Liverpool started all the dainty stuff.

          • OBE says:

            Throw your medals in the bin, because you got them by cheating.

        • 113
          Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

          By the way Merseyside, maybe I didn’t say it, no I didn’t, she was welsh from Carmarthenshire, as I, and her eighty year mother, Anne, only left, lives in a stunning cottage where Fiona was brought up, cottage right next to the River Gwendraeth Fach, which is still stuffed full of wild Trout – a picture post card home. CHRIST, did Fiona support Liverpool or what!

        • 127
          NHS iPhone user says:

          I’ve only had mine a week and I’ve already got to level 32.

      • 176
        Anonymous says:

        Blackberry. Fucking site cheaper mate.

    • 91
      Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

      Tories are such, and they will never change their spots, it seems. What can we do with the blue nosed blighters? Shoot them?

      • 99
        Maurice Minor says:

        • 110
          Your Next Rulers says:

          • Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

            Someone drop a local contained nuclear bomb on Islington and Hampstead Teeth onto the poliico politicians and their Guardian journalists and other chip paper papers one day in their inane chatty dinner evening parties? Kay Burlesque from Sky there especially?

          • Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

            By the way, Your Next Rulers, nice one, and it is “You’re” by the way, SUCK ON! What the farck do they teach you in your school you Eton gobshite? How to be a demented tory?

    • 96
    • 146
      Airey Belvoir says:

      On the Daily Politics just now, the next item flashed up on screen was for ‘drinking in Parliament’ but mysteriously it was never then covered. Last-minute cold feet by the producer? And can somebody for god’s sake tell Jo Coburn not to laugh? Quite milfy until she does and then that awful, fishwife cackle……

    • 162
      Constance Briscoe says:

      Those who work in schools who suspect or witness abuse are guided, but not required by law, to report their concerns via local procedures to a school’s designated senior member of staff, his or her deputy, or another senior member of staff. It is easy to see that the potential for damage to a school’s reputation might cause any senior member of staff to be conflicted, and not to pass such concerns on to the police or local authority. Will the Leader of the House provide time for a debate on the merits of introducing a legal obligation on all teachers and other staff in schools to report directly to the police or a local authority designated officer?

      Hansard – 16th May 2013

  2. 2
    Vote Tory, get heir to Blair says:

    Liblabcon are all the same sheisters. Vote UKIP. They may turn out to be sheisters as well but these arrogant politicians need teaching a bloody lesson.

  3. 3
    Nonjob says:

    Hurray for fauxcialism!

  4. 4
    Huhne the Magnificent says:

    I’ve still got your iPad he he he

    • 58
      Handycock (Teen Fondler) on his iPad says:

      Hiya Chris so have I. I would just like to say, we MP’s are hardworking, sober, moral guardians of taxpayer’s money and this sort of criticism is entirely unjustified. Boaz.

  5. 5

    More evidence of how corrupt the HOC has become,we,the taxpayers are to blame for allowing it to happen.

    • 60
      Living in 97.1% white Merseyside says:

      But surely the Apple store on Fawcett Street does a roaring trade!

  6. 7
    Add to that says:

    650 x an extra 10k (or 20k) a year

    Fucking hoons

    • 167
      Matilda says:

      Nearly right – you forgot about the almost unlimited “expenses” [incurred wholly on the public service, naturally].

  7. 9

    There are proessional public money wasters, out there, busily signing off millions on a daily basis. There are, also, presumably lotsa beige envelopes, doing the rounds finding their way back to the dodgy PPMW’s bank accounts.

  8. 10
    Owin Jones says:

    That’s small beer !

    London Borough Of Hammersmith & Fulham spent £860k last year on B&B accom up from £70k the year before. FOI reply is here:

    • 158
      Anonymous says:

      And then they move in to your grannies house when she is k1lled by the NHS…
      or into a brand new flat which has been built by developers for “social housing”..

      Of course they pay no rent because housing benefit covers that..

  9. 11
    Marie Antoinette says:

    Let them drink Aldi

  10. 12
    Headline says:

    May 2113

    ” Police off Port ugal to search for 104 year old missing since 2007″

  11. 13
    Tony Benn says:

    Socialism works.

    • 44
      Labourunionsbbc are one under the EU says:

      For you and your family Anthony Neil Wedgwood-Benn, and for all those rich people who flew on Concord, but not for the folk who wanted to listen to the people’s radio (pirate radio) and not the state propaganda outlet (the BBC).

    • 131
      Windmills & Woofters says:

      Can I walk on your private beach yet?

      • 170
        Matilda says:

        How far out to sea does he claim? Territorial waters is 200 miles as I recall.

  12. 14
    If it smells like socialism - it is! says:

    In the USSR the communist leaders made sure of there own exclusive supplies which were unavailable to the ordinary people.

    The Soviet leadership groups also made sure that their families were given the best schooling and quality of life with a free pass to remain within the elite.

    Socialist organisations are paying extravagant wages to fellow socialists to enable their own to get the best private schooling, to live in the best houses – unaffordable to most of the people – to enable them to qualify and get a croney-pass to jobs with golden pensions – and the establishment grows.

    Why should any of them care for the people?

    • 19
      C.O.Jones says:

      Ah, that is the New Boy Network.

    • 27
      Stating the obvious says:

      This is the main objective of Common Purpose, in the lower ranks / public sector anyway.

      • 33
        C.O.Jones says:

        How else would these useless twats ever find work?

        Notice I did not say “meaningful work”.

        • 76
          Stating the obvious says:

          Get shot of the economic migrants from Europe, and create opportunities in the coffee shop other low grade non-productive areas of the economy.

          They are on the payroll of the state as the state has filled the position they would otherwise occupy with immigrants from Europe.

  13. 15
    Owin Jones says:

    And here’s another one!!

    Arriva gets £330m to run London buses but pays no corporation tax London Evening Standard

  14. 20
    Small State, Low Taxes, Out of the EU says:

    Seething. The utter bastards are just rbbing our noses in it now.

  15. 24
    Will says:

    the problem is that over the last 20 years the managerial class in the civil service, quangos and local gov have spent taxpayers money with abandon. They magic money tap is now being switched off, but the problem is that many of them are on such high salaries that it will be difficault to get rid of them as they will complain that you need to pay high wages to attract good staff. Well in the past you still had good people applying for the civil service etc who went in because it was a decent wage but the benefits were better than the private sector and the job security was better than the private sector.

    Nowdays they all seem to pass the buck and no one accepts responsibility for their actions or anything that happens in their department.

    • 26
      Noose Watch says:

      Perhaps time for some radical decision making then ?

      • 32
        Labourunionsbbc are one under the EU says:

        Cameron: Errr.
        Millibamd: Errr.
        Clegg: Errr.
        Farage: Ok let’s get it done.

      • 171
        Matilda says:

        Yes, get rid of all those on over 90-100k and promote competent officers from below. No pay rises needed as they are all on a pay ladder of sorts.

  16. 30
    Vote Tory, get heir to Blair says:

    Can you see the Liblabcon lot campaigning to reduce/end their perks/salaries/pensions,etc in the way that UKIP MEPs are persistently doing in Brussels?

  17. 34
    British Voters says:

    £177,028/400 = £442 per phone. FOR A PHONE!

    More public sector incompetence when I suspect far cheaper alternatives are available.


    • 43
      Will says:

      dear taxpayer we need the latest iphone tablet etc to keep intouch at our conferences/awaydays that you are paying for.

      its a hard life in the managerial class, I only got a 1% payrise you know, despite having above average increases in the last 10 years and my job regraded for a higher salary.

      I also have to go on a media training course to deal with nasty press questions, asking what I do for my salary.

      your sincerely

      safeguarding children (luton, Rochdale etc )

    • 104
      M­aq­bo­ul says:

      An iPhone is NOT a phone ferchrissakes. It is a way of life: a lifestyle choice; a friend and confidante; an outlook on the world; a fount of all knowledge; a fashion accessory which defines who you are; and if you put it on vibrate and stick it down your Y-fronts…

    • 119
      White hat geek says:

      You do pay a premium for Apple products.

      Platform like the Samsung Galaxy is much better, and cheaper.

      Can fully customize the OS install on that, which from a national security point of view is beneficial, and could have created some jobs in the UK.

      Look up the interests to see who exactly owns Apple stock to find out why this decision was made. The iPads were a giveaway…

      • 122
        M­aq­bo­ul says:

        Most IT depts don’t want the punters mucking around with the OS. The Samsung S4 costs more than the latest iPhone.

  18. 35

    It’s all very well but how do these MPs claim for the basic necessities of life like Lapdance club membership, Owen Jones clones and transport to Clapham Common?

    • 38
      Call me Dave says:

      Get me another SpAd I’ve just split this one.

    • 47
      underneath a lamp post that's where i want my mp to be says:

      oh and don’t forget food. yeah virtually everyone else who works has to fork out their own money for fodder but it’s different for members of parliament.

    • 143
      A whole new concept in pole dancing says:

      SC wrote:

      “It’s all very well but how do these MPs claim for the basic necessities of life like Lapdance club membership”

      They would be a gay lapdance club?

  19. 39
    Anonymous says:

    You forgot to add the payrise they are seeking.

    Tough times aheaad but we are all in this together.

  20. 41
    ?????? says:

    Clothing chain boss jailed for VAT fraud

  21. 49
    tigerowl says:

    Brilliant spending all that on wine for this exclusive club. When thousands are surviving on food banks. Lost your DLA, this is how they spend it.

  22. 51
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    1 Tim. 5:23 (KJV)

    “Dr!nk no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake and thine often infirmities.”

    It’s in the bloody Bible, innit? And if they ought to dr!nk wine, may as well be something good– wouldn’t want them to make a mockery of Scripture, now would we?

  23. 64
    Moussa Koussa Mark 10 says:

    …and I think you will find Guido, that all the iphones have gone to Jermey Hunts new CCG’s ( Clinical Commisioning Groups )

    Previously the NHS was run by low paid , but dedicated staff at PCT’s. Now its run by money gradding over paid managers and GP based at the CCG’s….

    • 88
      M­aq­bo­ul says:


      • 124
        Moussa Koussa Mark 10 says:

        Not bollocks….FACT

        PCT’s were staffed by low paid administators. And were going a very good job

        NHS is now administered by sharp suited overpaid project empire building managers in CCGs

  24. 66
    Bob Fleming says:

    The thing is, nobody would mind a few perks for decent public servants. The problem is that with a few notable exceptions, the vast majority of them are mediocre parasites who would never be employed at such senior levels in the private sector because they are not up to the job

  25. 68
  26. 71
    rod says:

    Public sector staff aren’t like the rest of us miserable, selfish money-grubbing types.

    They never think of themselves but only of those they serve.

    So the iPads and wine must be necessary.

  27. 72
    Penfold says:

    Westmonster (sic,) never knowingly undersold, when it comes to spending taxpayers monies.

  28. 73
    Alan Douglas says:

    I fail to see why ANY alcohol should be served in the HoC. Or why I should have to pay for it. Is someone saying that it advances the cause of good governance ?

    I was led to believe that the HoC was there to consider, debate, and pass laws for the benefit of the electorate. How does reducing the alertness and sobriety of Members achieve this?

    Alan Douglas

    • 77
      The Religion of Peace party for Britain says:

      Don’t worry we will be sortin it out when we are in power Innit.

      Insha Allah

  29. 75
    olden1936 says:

    Wine for the whiners; no surpise there. Talkabout them and us, still they’ll be able to watch ‘Today in Parliament’ on their I-pads so that they can keep in touch whilst loyaly imbibing in the parliament bar. MPs are special and we are not; it’s as simple as that, so learn to live with it! How’s your food bank account holding up folks?

  30. 81
    this hallowed ground says:

    is the world running out of humans ? is there a fucking shortage for the spirits to inhabit or are all the bodies taken by fucking lunatics ?

  31. 82
    MINDBLEACH says:
  32. 84
    Eleanor Jackson says:

    Let’s ban everything so as not to offend muslims.

  33. 86
    Maggie's Thatch says:

    Hating the state didn’t stop you lot wanting a state funeral for Maggie though, did it?

  34. 100
    Anonymous says:

    As a lowly House of Commons worker, having not a pay rise in 3 years, I treasure my subsidised pints.

    • 112
      cheche says:

      Many people havent had a pay rise in three years, some have taken pay cuts some have been laid off.

      Join the real world

      • 138
        and says:

        Most private sector workers enjoy only 4-5 weeks holiday a year.
        Remind how many months public sector workers, including teachers,uni lecturers, politicians and lowly HoC workers get?

  35. 101
    Dan Hodges says:

    Owen Jones’ bare buttocks are disgusting.

    He will have to stop “mooning”

  36. 102
    Pro-gay marriage says:

    • 165
      Gays-kissing-in-front-of-Islamists fan says:

      Why don’t you slow it down to make it even more boring?

  37. 115
    Knacker of the Yard says:

    If the NHS has them, the boys in blue deserve iPhones too!

  38. 117
    Ken Livingstone says:

    280k on wine! Is that all, I spent more than that each year when I was mayor.

  39. 120
    Pro-gay marriage says:

  40. 123
    nellnewman says:

    Tesco’s would have done a much more economic and sensible job in the provision of wines.

  41. 125
    Owin Jones says:

    Labour amendment to govt new clause 16 to bring consultation on civil partnerships for opposite sex couples has been selected.

    What a gay day.

  42. 126
    Ripley says:

    did IQ just drop while I was away ?
    how fucking difficult can it be to run an island . FFS get your fucking act together.

  43. 128
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    Anyone just see DP?

    How many sodomites can the BBC fit in to a one hour show?

    I counted five.

    Nearly as bad as BBC kids TV.

  44. 130
    Swivel Eyed Loon says:

    I think immigration is too high and has been for over a decade.

  45. 134
    Souper Man says:

    Ahhh, don’t be so hard on them you amadans, they need something to celebrate their £20K wage rise.

  46. 136
    Moussa Koussa Mark 10 says:


    That we be all of US and NOT you then Guido

  47. 137
    Fruit Cake No47 says:

    This government are NOT paying off the national debt, if fact it’s going up.

  48. 141
    Bobo Clown says:

    The LibLabCon is run a bunch of out of touch millionaire college kids, none of whom have ever had a real job in their lives.

  49. 142
    EU Watch says:

    For anyone in any doubt about what is happening in the EU at the moment, and where it is heading, review the history of Yugoslavia.

    Exiting sooner will avoid bloodshed later.

  50. 147
    if it was me says:

    I would stop all flights, shipping movements/ docking and the chunnel. then see who wakes up.

  51. 152
    The MILF that is Nadine Dorries says:

    I would quite like to see Nads perform her party piece with a bottle of Moet, wearing nothing except a UKIP rosette!

  52. 163
    Brown out & pay me damages. Respect MY rights. says:

    Apparently they who rule us have drink related problems. End the subsidy & sober them up.

  53. 174
    John Tandy says:


  54. 175
    John Tandy says:

    Appallingly disgraceful….

  55. 177


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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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