May 19th, 2013

Read Guido’s Column in the Sun Today

The_Sun_newspaper_front_page

In today’s Sun column:

  • find out which national newspaper editor has a crush on SamCam
  • how NHS England spends your cash
  • Read about Nadine’s bumpy bounce back
  • Claire Perry’s sexy invitation
  • why there is some money left for Liam Byrne
  • Petrolheads and a Westminster wedding

All in your 60p Sun…


395 Comments

  1. 1
    Turnaround Sunday says:

    Funny old world.

    Mandelson is Dave’s biggest political ally and the Tory grassroots are Dave’s biggest enemy.

    Like

    • 6
      Kelvin MacKenzie says:

      Now big spread on “Swivelgate” in the SoS I see!

      Like

      • 10
        Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

        Bugger the Sun, Observer was a good read this morning, with Geoffrey “Teddy Bear” Howe really shafting Cameron. Read it six o’clock this morning when the paper lad delivered it. Front page and middle pages feature it was, the full interview. And he tells Lawson what to do with himself – nice to see two grunties having a go at each other.

        Like

        • 12
          WET WET WET says:

          Some things never change and Howe is still a prize Twat.

          Like

          • Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

            Well, you would say that, but he spoke actual sense, saying Torys have got something missing upstairs these days. But I always thought that anyway.

            Like

          • Dave is a Blairaite. Certified by the Blairites says:

            The Tories certainly have got something missing upstairs. A leader who is a Tory.

            Mandelson going on the Telly first thing on a Sunday morning to back Cameron tells you all you need to know.

            Like

          • Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

            Stopped listening to that trout Mandy years ago – it is a case for me of in one lug ‘ole, and out the other.

            Like

          • M102 says:

            Mellor had a good old pop at both Camoron and Howe on Murnaghan.

            Like

          • Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

            “Chelsea kit” Mellor? Another plonker I don’t listen to, never ever have. God, he is a right Thatcher offspring he is, off the Jimmy Sav mould.

            Like

          • Obi sixty says:

            You must stop multiple name posting to yourself.
            Really, it’s just embarrassing.

            Like

          • Obi sixty one says:

            No it isn’t.

            Like

          • Obi sixty says:

            Yes it is. It’s really embarrassing that you need to agree with your own self.

            Like

          • Obi one says:

            Hi, me.
            What’s going on?

            Like

          • Obi sixty says:

            Just doing low level trolling that wouldn’t fool a shrub.

            Like

          • Obi sixty four says:

            Great, I agree with Labour!
            Miliband rocks!

            Like

          • Obi sixty twenty says:

            I agree with me. So that’s 10 of us who agree..so Labour have a digital majority you Tory swivel heads!
            Woo!

            Ps. I have lost my meds!

            Like

          • Obi three says:

            I remembered to leave some time between my monicker changed posts. I usually forget! Lol!

            I agree with me!

            Like

          • Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

            Pardon Obi? I post a new name myself when my old name disappears from the name box. Blame Norton scan, not me. Anyway, if you mean me, I stick with my excuse – and also anyway, it is nice to keep things daily fresh.

            Like

          • Just so you know it says:

            Handymandypandy HAS to publically support Dave’s position on staying in Europe – otherwise his EU pension disappears down the plughole.

            [Sorry about the split infinitive, but it is Sunday]

            Like

          • efrem zimbalist jr says:

            OBI SIX FIVE SPECIAL SAYS ::

            Ah’ m goin’ down the line
            The six five special
            It’s right on time

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            I think that Mellor and Red Ken on Radio Bloke (LBC) Saturday mornings is the best listen around (after Nick Abbot)! Beats that constant fucking al-Beeb lefty drone any day.

            Like

        • 60
          R. Youshore says:

          ‘..read ( the Observer ) six o’clock this morning….’

          You saddo !!

          Like

          • Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

            chchchch. It is like waiting for your Beano comic to drop through the letter box each Thursday when one was eleven.

            Like

          • Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

            And ironically, with reference to Biffo in above Beano, the paper lad is a part time fireman in the local area – ok, he is about 25, but in my eyes he is still the paper lad when he started doing it when he was fifteen.

            Like

          • efrem zimbalist jr says:

            shame drawbridge .

            at that ugodly hour on a sunday you should either have been asleep or if you really must at that time of the morning — initiating the weekly sex session with the wife

            but no shouting grunting or yelping such that you wake the neighbours!!

            Like

          • Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

            It’s the sun mun – it comes up at five these days, haven’t you heard? Me bedroom is eastern facing, and it was blue skies this morning and so I was up with the blackbirds, picking worms.

            Like

        • 74
          Obi sixty one says:

          No!!
          Everyone agrees with me. They do!!!

          Like

        • 206
          CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

          What else would you expect from the arch-Europhile Howe, Maggie Thatcher’s political assassin?

          Like

          • Labour is off its ED says:

            + lots COM. Howe is a Judas. Mind you, the old barsteward looks like he’s died and no-one has told him!

            Nasty old fecker.

            Like

    • 26
      JadedJean says:

      He wasn’t called the “Dark Prince” for nothing!

      Apart from his grubby self serving reasons for wanting to remain in the EU, I’m afraid there are darker reasons to this when you consider that his father was J8wish.

      Remember, the EU project was constructed by the US (for that, read the chosen ones in NYC) out of The Marshall Plan after WWII as a bulwark against the statism (national socialism?) of the USSR. Also remember, at the outset of WWII the Russians were aligned to national socialist Germany via the Anti-ComIntern Pact (Anti-COMmunist INTERNational). Those on NYC, that Mandelson is aligned with, certainly don’t like them national socialists, as they’re bad for business…isn’t that right Mandeslon?

      Think of the likes of Cameron and Mandelson as the US’ agents over here in the UK.

      Some background info on Mandelson is included in here…

      http://www.lobster-magazine.co.uk/articles/rrtalk.htm

      Like

    • 67
      cotedebeaune says:

      “Funny old world. Mandelson is Dave’s biggest political ally and the Tory grassroots are Dave’s biggest enemy.”

      Apart from his grubby self serving reasons for wanting to remain in the EU, I’m afraid there are far darker reasons to this when you consider that his father was a chosen one. Remember, the EU project was constructed by the US (for that, read the chosen ones in NYC) out of The Marshall Plan after WWII as a bulwark against the statism (national socialism?) of the USSR. Also remember, at the outset of WWII the Russians were aligned to national socialist Germany via the Anti-ComIntern Pact (Anti-COMmunist INTERNational). Just who did Stalin purge during the show trials of the late 1930’s?
      Those in NYC, that Mandelson and his like are aligned with, certainly don’t like them nat ional socialists, as they’re bad for business…isn’t that right Mandy?

      A useful website with significant background info on Mandelson.

      http://www.lobster-magazine.co.uk/articles/rrtalk.htm

      Think of the likes of Mandelson, Cameron (et al) as the US’ agents in the UK doing their bidding.

      Like

    • 292
      Jimmy says:

      I don’t understand Mandelson’s Sopranos comparison. Wasn’t the Sopranos about organised crime?

      Like

      • 316
        Old Blind Pugh says:

        Jimmy just cast your mind over the happenings over the last 30 odd years, perjury, false expenses claims, bar fights, grabbing the mace and waving it about threateningly need I go on.

        Like

  2. 2

    Collymore. Two goals with one lunge.

    Like

    • 42
      M102 says:

      ….. or “one clunge” works well too.

      Like

    • 45
      Vote Tory, get heir to Blair says:

      And I bet he dribbled after scoring.

      Like

    • 81
      Jimmy says:

      There’ll be a lot of red faces on the terraces this morning. So much for his alleged inability to score in a brothel.

      Like

      • 100

        I thought that the terraces were a thing of the dim and distant past, Jimmy. Don’t you have all-seater stadia at Celtic Park, Ibrox, Stark’s Park, or wherever?

        Like

        • 108
          Jimmy says:

          You’ve as much chance of seeing Farage there.

          Like

          • Then you’ll be disappointed when Nige turns out to be a second James VI in uniting the two warring nations, I can take it?

            Like

          • Jimmy says:

            The wisest fool in Orpington?

            It’s a theory I suppose.

            Like

          • C’mon, Jimmy.

            We let your boy do it last time and we did not complain.

            Now it’s our boy’s turn. That is fair in a socialist sense, isn’t it? We don’t want any losers, now…

            Like

          • HM James VI&I, DG R, GB,F&I, Defensor Fidei, says:

            “Then you’ll be disappointed when Nige turns out to be a second James VI in uniting the two warring nations, I can take it?”

            Wilt thou take thy “Bible” oath on that to happen, sirrah?

            (And we thought we had despatched this knave Guido Fawkes– howbeit he hath returned, to our great dismay; this pleaseth us not.)

            Like

          • Dispatched, HM James VI&I, DG R, GB,F&I, Defensor Fidei.

            Shirley Williams divide coruscating through I fear.

            Like

          • King James (fuck the rigmarole) says:

            Punctuation, sirrah; hadst thou employed it, thy point had been better made. Didst thou imply “dispatched” were misspelt? (‘Tis an acceptable variation, we propound.) Thou shouldst have thrown in some inverted commas comprehending the word, that we would understand thee the better for your having done so. In addition, our good mog, “divide” may be all the better rendered with the leading “D” being upper-case, and a comma following “through” had surely done no harm were it there. Inverted commas for that eponymous phrase– perhaps de trop, we will allow, in the instant example.

            Apparently, in attempting to affix blame for errors in composition upon the head of Mistress Williams and her deleterious effect upon the educations of the subjects of this realm, someone, whom we name not, fell into the very snare he had set. It doth sound to us as if he hath once more stepped upon his own dick. ‘Twere better all around he had paid more attention in English class regardless of when it was he was thought to have been properly schooled.

            Like

          • If I did not know better I would say you were Taking de Pisse…

            Like

          • King James says:

            One never knows, do one.
            That’s MY version of it.

            Like

      • 210
        efrem zimbalist jr says:

        yes but the question must be ….

        is he still incapable of organising a piss up in a brewery ?

        Like

    • 132
      Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

      He’s getting more that me Collymore. I wonder what his secret is? Boaz.

      Like

  3. 3
    So there. SUE ME says:

    Like

    • 24
      Will he sue Nads? says:

      Like

      • 59
        Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

        He said it, and to try and deny it is like Adolf saying he never invaded Poland.

        Like

        • 82
          Add olf says:

          I didn’t. The Poles invaded first.
          That’s a documented fact, filmed at the time.

          Filmed by the SS using concentration camp victims in Polish uniforms.
          But still….

          Like

          • Nadine Admirer says:

            Go Nads, go!

            Like

          • I was Lost in Space says:

            And the Russians and French and Dutch and Belgiums and Norwegians and Danish and Greeks and etc, etc, invaded you too first Adolf? Somehow how think your case is thin, don’t know why.

            Like

      • 70
        Just Curious says:

        Could someone please explain to me how Lord Feldman became a Lord?

        Like

      • 127
        Sir William Waad says:

        The odd thing is that Lord Feldman’s dad, Marty, made a living out of being a swivel-eyed loon.

        Like

      • 213
        efrem zimbalist jr says:

        GO-NADS

        Give this Lord fellah a bj that should keep him quiet for a while

        oh no sorry got that the wrong way round …..

        Like

      • 353
        Anonymous says:

        You mean like people who say they asked for time off to go on reality tv shows ?

        Like

  4. 4
    q says:

    the sun is the foulest piece of shit going

    stiil, here’s how the other half live and die

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/10066163/Lucinda-Lambtons-family-at-war-over-fathers-estate.html

    there’s nothing like inherited wealth to assist the upper classes in their entitlements …..

    Like

    • 5
      Q says:

      The lower classes don’t pass on their wealth to their children?

      Like

    • 231
      Maqboul says:

      Oh god, another dim oik with a chip on his shoulder.

      Like

    • 335
      Anonymous says:

      Good old socialists. Keep stirring up your class war and hatred of the rich.

      It’s the only way you’ll get any votes – seeing as you don’t have any policies.

      Like

  5. 7

    What is bad about swivel-eyed that is good about fruitcake?

    Is it a nourishment issue?

    Like

    • 8
      Magic 8 Ball says:

      The fact that no-one knows what it means?

      Like

    • 9
      Nutty Fruitcake says:

      Attitude mate. UKIP turned it to their advantage and the swivel-eyed loons reacted like swivel-eyed loons.

      Like

      • 14
        Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

        Anyone tried sheep eyeballs? I recommend it. And I won’t eat a fish unless it is on my plate looking up at me, while I denude it of it’s flesh, then chew on it’s head for afters. Call me a beast if you want, see if I care.

        Like

      • 354
        Anonymous says:

        But ukip are swivel eyed loons themselves ! and they slam phones down on scottish radio stations !

        Like

    • 16
      David Chameleron says:

      The name’s a dead giveaway, innit ?
      Just surprised it’s taken everyone so long to figure it out.

      Like

    • 83
      Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

      Cat, you know we were talking about Lynyrd Skynyrd on previous thread, which I eventually thought could have been Guildford, not Portsmouth, and when searching, but sadly had no success – might try Vimeo and others later. BUT, came across an amateur act, and they were quite impressive, from fairly recently – even the lead singer looks like he is from the same tribe as Ronnie van Zant, but with less hair,

      Like

      • 129

        Yes. This is what they were trying to sound like:

        Like

        • 164
          Leonard Skinner, PhysEd Teacher, Robert E. Lee HS, Jacksonville FL, USA says:

          I made a shitload o’ bucks off them boys, y’know– I later went into the real estate agency business, and I opened up a few honky-tonks which the boys’d stop off and play in, occasionally, when they weren’t on tour.

          For that kind of money, bubba, you can ridicule my name all you want, and I’ll cry all the way to the bank.

          Like

          • Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

            Did they patch things up with Neil Young? Well, Gary Rossington that is. Sadly he seems the only one left.

            Like

  6. 11
    Lost in Clacton says:

    I didn’t know Stan Collymore was seeing Samantha Cameron.

    You learn incredible things from the British Press.

    Like

    • 27
      Wyle Cop says:

      I never knew Freddie Starr ate my hamster. Come to think of it, I never knew I had a hamster.

      Like

    • 56
      M102 says:

      If you ever see her with a shiner, you’ll know where it came from.

      Like

    • 131
      Sir William Waad says:

      It’s nice to know that Ozzy and Shaz are back together. Oi! Rusbridger! You been scooped!

      Like

  7. 13
    Living in 97.1% white Merseyside says:

    No chance of reading it. Not the done thing to buy it up here chaps.

    Like

  8. 18
    Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

    Danny Alexander on the telly a few minutes ago – listened to him for about thirty seconds, and could not put up with his gobshite, so came back here.

    Like

    • 41
      fanny alexander says:

      look at my chin don’t look around my chin look at my chin look at my chin look at my chin and you’re under. when you’re wake up you’ll think i am a fucking genius, and be wildly sexually attracted to me and even though i am the chief secretary to the treasury you’ll believe that all the fuck ups are not my fault but solely down to osborne but you’ll also believe the coalition is great and we should do it again sometime. and you’ll never laugh at my wife’s surname every again and fully comprehend everything that spiels out of my weird shaped chin gob even though i mutter like a bum munching haggis five four three two one clicks finger and you’re back.

      Like

      • 62
        Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

        Did he say that? Damn! I should have stuck at listening to him. Have you noticed his hair is less ginger these days, after Harriet called him a ginger rat or something? Most of us use hair dye to look less grey, but less ginger is a new one.

        Like

        • 65
          Long John Silver's parrot says:

          That sounds a bit unfair on rats.

          Like

          • Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

            Yes, true, but let’s the Jack Russels on him and see what happens. RATS lad RATS, go on boy!

            Like

      • 63
        Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

        Here is HH when she said it, but it was squirrels, not rats,

        Like

        • 66
          Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

          oops – should have checked for extras at the end – apologies Queeny Lizzy Two.

          Like

  9. 22
    On the beach,sunglasses in the car says:

    I dont expect Dave to tell us in advance how he will renegotiate the EU Treaty but when he has done so it would nice to think the minutes of all negotiations will be published in the Sun to help us all decide how to vote in the Referendum .

    As I understand it Germany and France have already said we can leave if we want to.

    Like

    • 39
      Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

      Please close the door after you?/Bitte schließen sie die tür hinter dir her?/S’il vous plaît fermer la porte après vous?

      Lied/Chanson!

      Like

      • 138
        Back@woodsman says:

        Rarely bother to comment now you guys are all on meds, but that Einen Jodler was a great find – eat your heart out Robert Plant !

        Like

        • 368
          Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

          Franzl Lang from deep deep Southern Germany is brilliant, where the proper Germans come from… And Jacques Tati was one hilarious bloke too, mon amis.

          Like

    • 48
      Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

      Furtzzer mere, Inspector Clouseau, ven he vistited se Furtherlund,

      Like

  10. 25
    Vote Tory, get heir to Blair says:

    Three years ago if you had said that David Cameron was going to be a worse Prime Minister than Gordon Brown I would have laughed in your face.

    I’m not laughing now.

    Vote UKIP, at 20% only 7 points behind the Tories (27%) in the polls and those were held before the ‘swivel-eyed loons’ comments and the anti-English abuse aimed against Farage.

    Going up.

    Like

    • 162
      Dick the Prick says:

      Dave could end the Tories if he’s not careful. What’s the point of voting Tory when they spend more than Labour? Their NHS reforms have done nothing to address the fuck up that is the NHS but simply created a super quango with an unsackable communist in charge. The gay marriage crap, boosting tax credits, selling RBS at a loss whilst Google tell Osborne to suck them off. And now to top it off some unelected twat who no-one’s ever heard of who’s only claim to fame is being Dave’s bff and yet is CEO and vice chair of the Tories calls them all loons, well, I may as well vote Miliband – he’s a gimp but at least he can shaft those close to him unlike Dave who gives them all jobs. Who’da guessed?

      Like

    • 355
      Anonymous says:

      ukip arent in the same league as the 3 main parliamentary parties, they have no MPs. They have never been tried in government, and it would be at least 50 years before they could develop the infrastructure, expertise and funding to become a major party.Why are their members so unrealistic ?

      Like

  11. 30
    A Loon says:

    I think there is something wrong with me. I’m a mad loon but my eyes don’t swivel.

    Like

  12. 32
    Mystic Smeg says:

    If Dave were prescient he’d have resigned before going into politics.

    Like

  13. 33
    Diane Abbott says:

    Tory grassroots #demented

    Like

  14. 37
    Vote Tory, get heir to Blair says:

    Another Eurovision fail for the UK. It was pretty crap as usual (no criticism of the singer though). Surely it is not impossible to get a decent composer to write some good melodic music for it. The Danish song had some good music behind it. The singer doesn’t make all that much difference nor the words as half the people in Europe can’t understand them.

    Like

    • 38
      JH32489238490234 says:

      Chum, if we win we have to pay to host the next fucker.

      No-one wanted to win this euro-farce, it was probably pre-arranged anyway. It’s only value is a reminder of how completely culturally incompatible much of Europe is and pointless to try and unify politically.

      Like

      • 102
        Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

        Can only host it if you win it first, and there is no chance of that it looks – Europe looks on us as total jokes due to our politicians in Westminster and in the European Parliament.

        Like

    • 43
      It's NOT a Song Contest though says:

      The Eurovision Song Contest has never been and certainly is not now anything to do with songs..it is a pure and simple nationalistic event…where certain bloocs vote for their neigbours or ex- citzens in the case of eastern europe

      The UK could have the best song,the best set of song writers and a world renowned performer…it would and will NEVER win again.

      The fact is that the UK is one of the major financial contributors if not the main one and if we pulled out the contest would collapse is a side issue. In any event under EBU rules we would still have to pay for it even if we weren’t taking part

      Like

      • 49
        David Cameron says:

        Quite right!

        There is no place for nationalism here!

        Like

      • 52
        Hoarse says:

        Pity Bonnie’s voice was fucked up from the start.

        Like

      • 68
        Pigs in Space says:

        At least she didn’t lose to France

        Like

        • 89
          Bonnie Tyler says:

          I was lost in France, once.

          Like

          • I was Lost in Space says:

            lost in St. Malo new town once, in Brittany/Bretagne – Normandy border. Left me van at the ferry port with two hours to spare, early morning, so thought I’d go into the new town to a Tabac for a cup of coffee and a few fags, as you do. Went walkies, and lost my way back, asked a local in my pigeon French, and he must have thought I was in a car, since he sent me in directions, where cars go, not on foot. But managed to get back to the port with ten minutes or so to go before the ferry asked us to load our vehicles.

            Stayed in St. Malo old town over night, the old walled fort – fascinating place. Full of French navy sailors. HEY!- behave. And no, I left the working ladies alone too, honest!

            Like

          • Ah yes motoring holidays in France... says:

            Try getting off a crowded Brittany Ferry early morning at St Malo when it’s pissing down of rain, a car load of screaming kids and the wife trying to read the map and quiet said kids and trying to navigate you on to the N176/E401 in the direction of Dinan and end up going towards Avranches…great start to the hols…you have a shouting match and the Mrs doesn’t talk to you for 24 hours in a strop cos’ you shouted at her for not being able to read a map the right way round…We’ve ALL been there !!!

            Like

          • I was Lost in Space says:

            Wifey and kiddies wasn’t a complication for me, since I was on my own – used to go back and fore with work to Alcatel telecommunication factory in Lannion, near the pink granite coast. Before used to use Caen-Ouistreham ferry port, and above was the first time I used St. Malo.

            Like

          • I was Lost in Space says:

            Also used to fly to Orielle or Charles de Gaul airport in France, where a French engineer used to pick me up who lived in the Champaigne region, near Troyes, when we had some work to do in the Alcatel factory outside Paris, then drive across to Lannion in Bretagne for hours to do work in their factory there. Used to stay in Perros-Guirec. nice place, harbour and all that.

            Like

          • Tom, Tom, the Piper's son says:

            Waddya mean, there’s no harbour at Coldharbour Lane ?
            You’ll be telling me next that I got the wrong Mile End Road.

            Like

          • efrem zimbalist jr says:

            ground control to major tom tom …

            where am i ??

            Like

    • 101
      Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

      Total Eclipse, the Euro Farts,

      Like

    • 209
      albacore fan club says:

      Have a listen to the Spanish entry. It’s quite good.

      Like

      • 226
        efrem zimbalist jr says:

        what s it called

        “Give us mucho dinero coz we re potless “

        Like

        • 369
          Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

          Don’t care what anyone says, but when the eastern euro ladies started to sing, they all grabbed my attention, and they didn’t disappoint… ;)

          Like

  15. 40
    Don'rt suppose he's taking up Dave's homosexual wedding. says:

    Deputy Speaker Nigel Evans under renewed pressure as ‘THIRD alleged victim claims he was sexually assaulted by Tory MP’

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2326853/Deputy-Speaker-Nigel-Evans-renewed-pressure-THIRD-alleged-victim-claims-sexually-assaulted-Tory-MP.html

    Like

    • 93
      Anusol saved my life says:

      I wonder if any of the alleged victims suffered any rectal damage and bleeding?

      Like

      • 123
        MandleScum says:

        possibly – but they’ll certainly be able to shit faster

        Like

      • 370
        M­aq­bo­ul says:

        Imagine that, never being able to let off a ripping fart ever again. It’s one of a real man’s few pleasures in life.

        Like

    • 172
      droer inthe wrong order says:

      Why do these people allegedly want Nigel Evans’ seat?

      Like

      • 228
        efrem zimbalist jr says:

        you re either behind nigey boy or in front ..

        but if your in front …..wear a cod piece the wrong way round .

        Like

  16. 46
    It's the cover up that does for 'em says:

    It never ceases to amaze me that when in a hole politicians keep digging….it would have been simpler and more effective if the person who said it apologised for the remarks and it would be quickly yesterday’s news.It wouldn’t be forgotten though as the grass roots and associations merely think that whoever uttered these remarks is merely echoing the “Chums” view of the Party….a regrettable necessity for the “Chums” access to power

    Like

  17. 50
    David Chameleron says:

    What you plebs fail to understand is that, as a Chameleron, I can hold two entirely different points of view at the same time.

    Like

    • 96
      David Icke says:

      I fucking warned you lot about lizards ages ago!

      It really pains me to have to say…I told you so!

      Like

      • 99
        Pull up the drawbridge, I'm out of control says:

        Ey oop Dave I? ‘Ow’s it ‘anging? Yes, the BBC, say no more Dave….

        Like

    • 121
      and continues . . . says:

      . . and then slither under my stone

      Like

      • 232
        efrem zimbalist jr says:

        BOY GEORGE AND CLTURE CLUB SAY::

        SHAMAA SHAMAA SHAMAA SHAMAAA CHAMELEON

        YOU COME AND GO
        YOU COME AND GO _OH_OH_OH

        Like

  18. 53
    Unintended consequences...Or are they? says:

    Mate of mine can’t sell his house because the builders are offering guaranteed cheapo mortgages on their new builds so buyers are not interested in second hand homes. This will only get worse when Dave’s mortgage on the state scheme kicks in

    Like

    • 87
      Bobski the builder says:

      Good.
      Tell your mate to drop the price.
      Not building houses so your mate gets a high price for his old house is how we got into 125% mortgages in the first place.

      Build more houses. Build millions of them!

      Like

      • 103
        M102 says:

        It’s just that this time round, none of us british builders who trained and did apprenticeships will get a f’ucking look in because Mandelson’s Poles have nicked all of the work. C’unts.

        Like

        • 177
          Village Idiot says:

          It,s not more houses this country needs,it,s depopulation we need and building projects to enhance life in a free United Kingdom,but because of the way “growth”works,and the effect of “building houses”,we build houses…..

          Like

        • 236
          efrem zimbalist jr says:

          puhleeese !!!

          british buiders /tradesmen of today would’ nt recognise an apprenticesip if it hit at at 100 miles an hour comimg off a slip road

          making the tea and holding the oily rag for five years and getting paid cash in hand is about the size of it .

          polish builders plumbers electricians et al for ever !!!!

          signed Lech Walensa Gdansk Shipyard

          Like

  19. 54
    Nigel says:

    I call on all Tory activisits to join the original “mad, swivel eyed looney” party!

    If you can’t beat them, join them.

    Join UKIP!

    Like

    • 61
      JH32489238490234 says:

      Fervent Labour supporters and their shock troops in the UA_F always struck me as far madder and more swivel eyed.

      Comrade Delta’s eyeballs were probably trying to jump right out their sockets at his ‘trial’.

      Like

    • 372
      M­aq­bo­ul says:

      Mad looney. As opposed to a sane, normal looney?

      Like

  20. 57
    hilarious advert says:

    “queen’s honours experts

    significantly increase your chances of
    mbe, obe, cbe, knighthood

    learn more

    awards intelligence”

    i’ll tell you how to “significantly increase your chances etc etc” without having to bother clicking the advert… just m0lest some ch1ldren. the royal family love dishing out honours to nonces. (either that or some people haven’t quite been fully candid to ze queeno… oh dear has your brake peddle suddenly stopped working?)

    Like

  21. 77
    P l e b says:

    In order to put this EU debate to bed, why doesn’t Cameron announce that we are to have a referendum on whether we should have a referendum?

    What’s not to like?

    Like

    • 80
      You Heard the man. MOBILISE NOW! says:

      Like

      • 84
        Add olf says:

        You are doing good work.

        Like

        • 98
          Anders Breivik says:

          I gave some of those young Europeans on Utoya Island a ducking chance! A 50m head start to swim for it!

          Like

          • Just so you know it says:

            Young European Greens is just another name for Brussels sprouts.

            Like

          • Herman van Kony, EU Commissioner's Resistance Army says:

            There are plenty more teenagers that we can brainwash into becoming child soldiers to serve the Projekt.

            Like

          • M­aq­bo­ul says:

            Everyone must mobilise? Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Comrade Stalin announcing his first Five Year Plan.

            Like

      • 91
        Wyle Cop says:

        Ja, ve must create millions of ze jobs as Euro Olive Oil Receptacle Inspectors and all our problems are solved.

        Like

      • 104
        One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave, says:

        By Jove! I’m creating lots of opportunities for Europeans of all ages – by holding open the door for them to flood into Britain, in their hundreds of thousands! Super, eh, what what? Of course, the English won’t get much in the way of opportunities, but they’re all swivel-eyed plebs and loonies; grotty horrible oiks, all of them, what what.

        Tally ho, suckers!

        Like

      • 135
        A male BBC star of the 1970s says:

        Sounds good to me!

        Like

      • 168
        R V Keitel says:

        Tanks, Herman.

        Like

      • 273
        Anonymous says:

        You’ve been hanging around toilets again haven’t you Herman?

        Like

      • 282
        Herman tortures kittens in his dungeon, and we know he does says:

        Time to find out if the communitarian dialectic works.

        My guess: Without massive input to industry, given lack of demand, employers will not be creating more jobs any time soon.

        They will hoard cash though and watch the EU burn.

        Once EU is gone, should be plenty of jobs for rebuilding something better on a more local scale.

        Like

    • 241
      efrem zimbalist jr says:

      I say instigate immediately an unconscionably high level of tax on all breaths taken such that it can only be paid by billionaires.

      that solves population explosion, climate change , politicians and the unemployment /pensions problem at a stroke

      what s not to like . ( mind you most bankers would still be around ….. )

      Like

  22. 85
    #demented mad swivel-eyed loons. aka #fruitcake clowns says:

    Of course ordinarily the Labour party would have come out with some faux claptrap about offending loons and people with swivelling eyes. But as their shadow health minister took the piss out of dementia sufferers with her #demented tweets their hands are rather tied.

    Like

    • 106
      Charles Walker MP says:

      + 100

      Mental health in the HoC is no laughing matter!

      Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

      Like

    • 111
      Dianne Fatbutt says:

      An old lady goes to see her GP. “I’m afraid I’ve got two bits of bad news for you,” says the GP solemnly. “You’ve got dementia and you’ve got AIDS.”

      “Oh no,” says the old lady, looking sad. But then she perks up and adds, “well, at least I don’t have AIDS.”

      Like

    • 112
      Dianne Fatbutt says:

      An old lady goes to see her GP. “I’m afraid I’ve got two bits of bad news for you,” says the GP solemnly. “You’ve got dementia and you’ve got AÍDS.”

      “Oh no,” says the old lady, looking sad. But then she perks up and adds, “well, at least I don’t have AÍDS.”

      Like

    • 117
      Diane Abbott MP says:

      Of course, if anyone had any cojones to put me up to doing it, I’d have to explain why I sat in Parliament under a swivel-eyed loon in the last Labour Government without remarking on the fact of his lunacy, seeing as how I’m such an astute observer of such things. But they won’t, ‘coz they know I’ll just play the race card, as I always do.

      Like

      • 247
        efrem zimbalist jr says:

        though certainly a loon he could nt have been swivel eyed dear… .
        following a tragic rugby accident in his youth he only had the one .. and that kept looking straight ahead … no doubt adroitly refusing to see any war ships on the economic horizon .

        Like

        • 365
          Gordon Brown MP(?) says:

          Setting the record straight: I am NOT a swivel-eyed loon. Rather, I am merely a plain ordinary ten-a-penny daft bugger. I want to thank you for letting me be myself again, more like a Sly Stone, than an Horatio Nelson; Sly was notorious for being a headcase who never showed up either.

          Like

    • 357
      Anonymous says:

      Labour only comment on really important things, like the price of pasties at Greggs, things like that.

      Like

  23. 86
    Dave's ringmaster says:

    Coming to the end of a Peer near you : David ‘One Term’ Cameron
    And that one term is : Swivel-Eyed

    Marvel as he spins, totally out of control.
    Be amazed at his foot-in-mouth contortions.
    Laugh out loud at his looney-bird posturing.

    Book now, don’t miss Dave’s dis-appointment.

    Once he’s gone he’s gone – and it won’t be a moment too soon.

    Like

    • 115
      The Treacherous “PR” Tosser in No 10 (attempting to re-inflate his meagre self-esteem) says:

      I SAY YOU JOLLY CHAPS!!! –

      Every day
      In every way
      I’m getting better
      And better!

      What?

      Like

  24. 105
    Steve says:

    Always post the bad stuff, so in the interest of balance, must post this.

    http://tinyurl.com/a3enct4

    Like

    • 130
      I was Lost in Space says:

      Yes, well done Imam, well said. About time one of them said something. perhaps the Archbishop of Canterbury got on his case? I don’t care what religion you are, I myself are semi-Pagan, as in the old Celtic Christianity Church, which gets religious book pounders confused. But when the je-hov-ahs come calling, I tell them I am a hardcore Catholic, and watch them run…

      Seen the interview with the Archbishop of Canterbury’s daughter from last week? Heart breaking it is, but I suppose this site is not the best place to post it, but hey, here’s hoping…

      Like

    • 134
      Alexsandr says:

      fuck me. an Imam who seems to talk a bit of sense.

      If this is all true, and not taken out of context then good on him I say.

      Like

  25. 110

    The first Palestinian, the first Saudi woman and the first Qatari national to climb to the top of the world’s highest mountain.

    They built a mosque up there whilst they were about it.

    Like

    • 126
      George Mallory says:

      And they’ll probably want to dig me up, too– don’t want any kufr on their mountain, don’t you know! And I was just getting comfortable!

      Like

      • 137
        I was Lost in Space says:

        Did they know which way was Me-cca when she was on top of it, getting the rug out?

        Sorry, just a joke.

        Like

        • 148
          Mecc ano Ha jib Mountaineers says:

          We lost our small spanner in the snow.

          Like

          • Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

            But you still had your metal screw driver, that looks as if it was made out of an old metal coat hanger?

            Like

        • 167
          Just so you know it says:

          Most of them carry a small compass type thingy that points the right way when you point the rotating arrow to the place on the dial where you are. Clever buggers these Chinese.

          Like

    • 320
      Magic 8 Ball says:

      Did they?

      Or do you tell lies?

      Like

  26. 122
    Owin Jones says:

    How long before Guido Fawkes has a “Are you a Toff or a Loon” questionnaire? :)

    Like

  27. 125
    Dead Sheep Maulers Office says:

    I have already done one leader in, back in the `80s, number 2 is well on the way now, even I thought I was dead years ago. And at least I worked for my Lordship, not like Marty F@ldman, isn`t he dead?

    Like

  28. 128
    Eurogayers on a night like this says:

    2014 will see all females banned from Eurovision crowds, we say.

    Like

    • 152
      nellnewman says:

      I suspect the females will be relieved. I can’t really believe there are too many people watch it these days . It’s hardly a quality music programme is it?!

      Like

  29. 133
    Dr Owen Jones says:

    The risk of postpartum hemorrhage in women using high dose of low-molecular-weight heparins during pregnancy http://goo.gl/SqWmz

    Like

  30. 139
    There's avarice, and there's the money grabbing Blairs says:

    Tony Blair has agreed to advise the next government of Albania!!!!

    Naturally for St Tone, this will open the way for a deal which could be worth millions of pounds.

    Right on Blair-babe. Your true avaristic tendencies are always to the fore.

    Like

    • 250
      efrem zimbalist jr says:

      hold on

      albania hasn t got any wonga it s potless is nt it??

      or have the eussr and the draghi queen ‘ s ECB been loading the financial helicopter and airlifting the proceeds ti Tirana ??

      Like

  31. 140
    Dr Owen Jones says:

    How do you know when Owen Jones is lying?….his lips are moving.

    Like

  32. 142
    Dave Cameron, sobbing in the toilets outside the lobby hall says:

    And what will happen when people realize that exiting the EU will actually create jobs once we are forced to repatriate essential positions which have been transferred to Brussels ?

    ** sob **

    How do we spin this ?

    Like

  33. 143
    Dave's next job says:

    So, would you like some fries with that ?

    Like

  34. 145
    The real Owen Jones says:

    All men are rapists.

    Like

  35. 147
    Lords-a-swivelling says:

    Back in Mac`s day, the serfs just did that which they were told to do. Now, it appears we are no longer the clever ones.

    Like

  36. 151
    Super-injunction? says:

    Last night’s porposed headlines ” Forth Coronation Street Actor from thev Sixties questioned.

    Not a peep today!

    https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=fourth+coronation+street+arrest&aq=f&oq=fourth+coronation+street+arrest&aqs=chrome.0.57j60j62l3.25300j0&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

    Like

  37. 156
    Owen Jones says:

    The very top rate of income tax in Hong Kong is 17%. There’s no credit crunch, recession, Labour Party or EU there. Funny that.

    Like

  38. 157
    Owen Farage-Jones says:

    The very top rate of income tax in Hong Kong is 17%. There’s no credit crunch, recession, Labour Party or EU there. Funny that.

    Like

  39. 161
    Anonymous says:

    Cammer, Cammer, Cammer,
    Cammer Chameleon,
    I Twist and Turn,
    I Twist and Turn,
    Leading would be easy if the loonies would love my dreams
    Red, Pink and Green,
    Red, Pink and Green

    Everyday’s about survival,
    EU’s my love, not my rival

    Like

  40. 163
  41. 171
    ihluglglglg says:

    Keep on Euro-bashing you Tories. Keep on gay bashing and migrant bashing. Keep on tenant bashing. Keep on single-mother bashing. Keep on NHS bashing. Keep on BBC bashing. Keep on poor bashing. Keep on human rights bashing.

    Come 2015 it’ll be the Tories getting bashed. Bloody good thing too.

    Like

    • 173
      ihluglglglg watch says:

      Hahahahaha, the village idiot has turned up.

      Like

    • 188
      Benedick Cumbersnatch. says:

      1) ‘Europe’ is just another Marxist, commie vanity project which will crash and burn like all the other attempts by fascist levellers; the poor and vulnerable getting shafted as per usual when it all goes tits up.

      2) Gays should keep their fucking noses out of what passes between men and women, us ‘breeders’ as they like to call us in derogatory terms, and you should just STFU and get on with your job (if, as I doubt, you have one) like most migrants do.

      3) Why should those in work subsidize the lazy fuckers on benefits with bedrooms, as well as their hard earned cash money? You cuпt.

      4) The fathers should support their kids, not the fucking State. End of.

      5) The NHS is copied the world over……NOT. Health rationing is shit. Nobody in their right mind would use the NHS as the model for a health service if they were starting from scratch now, and funnily enough, they don’t, because it’s crap and kills people, you fucking thick twat.

      6) Do you really think it a good idea to have a state broadcaster which is funded by money extorted from the it’s citizens on threat of imprisonment? If so, MOVE TO NORTH KOREA YOU FUCKING SIMPLETON!

      7) The ‘poor’ as you call them have more flat screen TV’s than I’ve had hot dinners.

      8) If everybody met their obligations to their families and those closest to them, there would be no need for, Human Rights’. Now go out and get a job you lazy, feckless, taffy cuпt..

      Like

      • 191
        The Poor says:

        Surely they could make flat screens with rims to stop the gravy dripping off ?

        Like

        • 194
          Benedick Cumbersnatch says:

          In some of the houses I’ve visited you can’t actually see what’s on screen due to gravy, tomato sauce, hand prints, nicotine deposits and various unidentifiable substances.

          Like

          • efrem zimbalist jr says:

            what you mean like …. seminal fluids after a 2 am session of Channel Bunny Babe X ?

            is that what you’re getting at Dominic Cum- in- her- snatch ??

            Don t get me wrong I agree with all you say . Just could’ nt resist rearranging your surname …

            Like

  42. 174
    Unemployed and skint in Birtley Colliery says:

    As one of the many unemployed I am really impressed by what the Tories have done this weekend

    Like

    • 190
      Anonymous says:

      Becoming a migrant seems to be popular these days.

      Like

      • 229
        Anonymous Politician says:

        ‘migrant’? That’s birds and started when they got confused by the north and south poles swapping places. Immigrant is what you mean: they don’t go ‘home’ again you know, they just keep sending our money back until their relatives can afford to come here too.

        Like

    • 263
      efrem zimbalist jr says:

      if i were you and in obviously such dire straits (sultans of swing etc ) i would just stay down in the colliery mate and never come back up .

      cheaper than a trip to dignitas and saves on family funeral costs …

      Like

    • 359
      Anonymous says:

      what have you done this weekend ? looked for a job ?

      Like

  43. 175
    Hugelyirritated says:

    Why are Blair, Mandelson. Laws ,Hunt and Fox, to name just a few, given space by the media.? One is unspeakable and, at least, a candidate for a war crimes investigation, two of them had very dicey financial dealings, one had Werrity and the other appears to lie through his teeth and, along with others unnamed, allows subordinates to be punished for his own inadequacies. What value is there in their opinions when they are so obviously complete charlatans?

    Like

  44. 176
    Owen "The Rampant Poof" Jones says:

    My family are a constant reminder of what’s important in life. Alcohol.

    Like

  45. 179
    Dan Hodges says:

    Owen Jones has attacked David Cameron’s support for gay marriage, claiming it had made winning the next general election “virtually impossible”.

    In a letter to the Prime Minister,Owen Jones warned that Mr Cameron’s backing for a change in the law had led to voters switching their support to Ukip. They wrote that many of the lost supporters would not contemplate returning to the Conservative fold unless legislation for gay marriages was abandoned “or the party leadership changed”.

    The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill returns to the Commons tomorrow for two days of debate, with many Tory MPs expected to oppose it on a free vote.

    Like

  46. 183

    Right. You thought that was strange? What about the Leningrad Cowboys & the Red Army Choir singing SWEET HOME ALABAMA?

    Can’t see Leonid Brezhnev, Yuri Andropov or Konstantin Chernenko approving. Boris Yeltsin? No trouble…

    Like

    • 225
      Anonymous Politician says:

      Is that Kier Hardy’s cap he’s wearing , or some kind of Russian rodent?

      Like

      • 239

        Now! Now! You mustn’t mock foreigners, especially when they are trying. His limited understanding of English had lead him to believe that Kier was the Hairman of the British Labour Party. That had been drummed into him quite early on.

        Like

  47. 185
    Benedick Cumbersnatch says:

    1) ‘Europe’ is just another Marxist, commie vanity project which will crash and burn like all the other attempts by fascist levellers; the poor and vulnerable getting shafted as per usual when it all goes tits up.

    2) Gays should keep their fucking noses out of what passes between men and women, us ‘breeders’ as they like to call us in derogatory terms, and you should just STFU and get on with your job (if, as I doubt, you have one) like most migrants do.

    3) Why should those in work subsidize the lazy fuckers on benefits with bedrooms, as well as their hard earned cash money? You cuпt.

    4) The fathers should support their kids, not the fucking State. End of.

    5) The NHS is copied the world over……NOT. Health rationing is shit. Nobody in their right mind would use the NHS as the model for a health service if they were starting from scratch now, and funnily enough, they don’t, because it’s crap and kills people, you fucking thick twat.

    6) Do you really think it a good idea to have a state broadcaster which is funded by money extorted from the it’s citizens on threat of imprisonment? If so, MOVE TO NORTH KOREA YOU FUCKING SIMPLETON!

    7) The ‘poor’ as you call them have more flat screen TV’s than I’ve had hot dinners.

    8) If everybody met their obligations to their families and those closest to them, there would be no need for, Human Rights’. Now go out and get a job you lazy, feckless, taffy cuпt.

    Like

    • 199
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      +infinity to the power of infinity.

      Like

    • 221
      Anonymous Politician says:

      Agree with the sentimeet, but, what a way with words you have, sweetie. I think you need a good sub editor if you want to gain mass appeal.

      Like

    • 304
      One Term Dave says:

      You are exactly the kind of oik me and my Eton chums see as a swivel eyed loon. We know what we’re doing because we studied PPE at Oxford.

      Like

  48. 186
    The real Owen Jones says:

    I want to have a poly marriage with my boyfriend, cat and che t-shirt.

    Like

  49. 187
    The Man who almost destroyed the Tory Party says:

    Trust me! I’ll make a superlative speech addressing the isshoos. All those who would vote for blue-arsed baboon will stand by me.

    Like

  50. 195
    Anonymous says:

    Like

  51. 198
    • 202
      Our Elt says:

      It’s great to be a mother again, but I’m still a bit sore form the episiotomy.

      Like

      • 224
        Obstetrician says:

        Hope they used stitched it up using barbed wire to fend off the eager cock waiting to jack off again.

        Like

    • 238
      Camoron the Marriage Destroyer says:

      Hey there all you Swivel Eyed Loons — this is how it should be done in my politically correct kw eer paradise. Well done you two Dads.

      I’m glad the poor little kids’ mother is miles away, after all they don’t need her around, do they?

      Like

  52. 208
    Dave's Gaydar is switched to standby. says:

    So in reality the only people pushing for homosexuality in marriage were Dave and a few Westminster cottagers. The homosexual community were more than content with their easy to exit civillian partnerships.

    Why the fook did Dave stray off the narrow path?

    Like

    • 230
      Windmills & Woofters says:

      …because he’s a silver-spoon, metropolitan, dilettante, liberal twat who’s never done a proper day’s work in his life?

      The Newsnight producer who commissioned that gushing fat prick Frank Luntz, has a fucking lot to answer for.

      And Dickie Davies for fucking up his leadership bid.

      Like

    • 243
      Dump Dave -- Get on with it -- NOW says:

      FFS — When are the gutless bastards that call themselves Conservative M.P.s going to launch a putsch against Gay Luvving Dave and his Boyfriends in Cabinet?

      Like

  53. 211
    Winnie the Pooh says:

    Like

    • 218
      efrem zimbalist jr says:

      OH MY WORD LORD MANDIBLE STONE WHAT A WAG YOU ARE ….UKIP = UNITED KINGDOM ISOLATION PARTY ( GEDDIT ???!!).

      CARRYON IN THIS VEIN AND YOU LL HAVE BERNARD MANNING COMING BACK FROM THE DEAD IN ORDER TO FEND OFF THE COMPETITION >>>>>

      Like

    • 240
      nellnewman says:

      I read somewhere last week that if the UK votes to come out of the EU, all those drawing £1000’s in EU pensions every year, ie mandy and the kinnochios et al and of course eventually the useless baronessashton (gordon’s bosom pal) , will lose their EU pensions.

      I can’t think of a better reason to vote to come out of the EU ASAP!

      Like

  54. 212
    Nothing in The Star about Wanker Gove pissing off even more says:

    a group of natural Tory voters?

    A one man destroyer of Tory votes.

    He’s got no idea of what he is doing and no idea of what his underlings are doing.

    He should be a banker.

    How can this not be in The Star?

    Oh wait, they need the space for some big tits.

    Like

  55. 223
    Dan Hodges says:

    Owen Jones now bowing to his UKIP fans

    Like

  56. 227
    BREAKING NEWS: “DAVE” TO RELAUNCH TORY PARTY IN BID TO ATTRACT “GRASSROOTS” VOTERS says:

    IN a bid to staunch haemorrhaging support, “Dave”, (an incompetent Toff chosen by toffs to Lead the Tory Party by aping the Discredited and Thoroughly Nasty Little Shit Bliar) will set out an emergency statement Monday morning. The hastily cobbled together statement will reprise oft-repeated platitudes, misrepresentations and total twaddle, all of which will be faithfully swallowed by loons and grasping scam artists eagerly hoping to benefit before “Dave” is finally established in the EUSSR HQ in Brussels.

    Like

    • 242
      nellnewman says:

      LOL!!! Dave to relaunch the tory party – will that be in the same style that gordon kept re-launching the labour party every few weeks in the run up to the the 2010 election.

      It didn’t work for him dave , it won’t work for you.

      Of course dave could try and grow a backbone and become a real tory – that might have a better effect – but I’m not holding my breath!

      Like

  57. 233
    Ed Moribund says:

    Ed Balls calls me gonk face.

    I have no idea what this means, but I expect it isn’t complimentary.

    Like

  58. 234
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    Anyone else fucking hate it when Cameron starts waving his hands about when he knows the cameras are on him?

    Who is the kid trying to kid?

    And don’t start pointing at some infinite point in the distance either. Old hat. Grow up you useless wet fart. The British public want sincerity.

    That’s why Nigel Garage is coiling one out all over you Cam.

    Like

  59. 237
    green ink says:

    The media loves making a lot of noise about the swivels but frankly the Tories have always be famous for washing their differeneces in the public gaze but does it really alter the realities of David Cameron’s position.

    You don’t become Prime Minister to make friends and he knows to suggest that we should walk out of the EU without going for a groundbreaking new deal for us whist instilling the need for reform throughout the whole organization would be be ridulous and a progressive negotiation is the only way to proceed.. that is a win win scenario for the public and in the final judgement they get a referndum to vote one way or the other.

    The frustration remains the timescale but by the time its implemented 2017
    will probably be about right.

    To hold a referendum now would be ludicrous and always was given the PM pledged to persue reform … to have yielded to a ‘referendum now’ lobby would have been easy but why settle for easy when the chimes are right to strike a good settlement.

    Frau Merkel wants reform and politically she needs it as her re-election prospects narrow.. Hollande is powerless but will resist CAP reforms … the rest are so focused on Euro problems and deficits still unresolved growth is weak. They need the ECB to continue it’s own QE otherwise they are prayerless but that will take time to feed through.

    Whilst we might be only modestly growing we are least well set to take advantage of global markets with a currency at ease internationally and
    low interest rates shielding the housing market.

    The key objective in the short term is to continue focusing on getting sustainable growth across the ‘employing’ sectors and targetted economic stimuli from the treasury will help the rebalancing.

    Tories are always rebellious when their constituents start moaning …its what they do but running this country isn’t a game and they know in the final analysis their and the country’s fortunes lie in the success of the Conservative way rather than the repeatedly failed socialist ‘blank piece of paper’ or the spineless expedient liberal democrat fiasco.

    Like

    • 244
      nellnewman says:

      I really hate that stupid word ‘progressive’ what the devil does it mean ?

      Like

      • 245
        Tachybaptus says:

        Going in a direction, not usually the right one.

        Like

      • 249
        green ink says:

        I am using the word to describe an adept step by step process Nell … the
        technicalities of achieving a deal, across the board within the EU, is a
        monumental task and he will need to focus on the more economically
        significant areas as primary targets.

        Like

        • 267
          "PROGRESSIVE" another Noo£ieBore redefinition says:

          “PROGRESSIVE” “Investement” “Neo-endogenous Growth” – just some of the words redefined and made worthless by the odious Bliar and his coterie.

          Like

      • 343
        pro.grass. says:

        .
        the opp is anti.grass which sounds like anti.gua.
        .
        pro is 4 cows.
        anti 4 pleasure…b.i.a.t.c.h

        Like

    • 246
      Chancellor Merkel, Fourth Reich. says:

      O.K. Dave — we will allow you some impressive changes to the British Sausage regulations so that you can spin it as a major breakthrough to the gullible plebs — but otherwise you can fuck off concerning any other renegotiations.

      Like

      • 251
        Angela Panzer says:

        Let him have a big success on raising the tax on green energy.
        Then he can say the government is raising lots of money for immigrants by making energy users pay.

        It’s a winner. We o it in Germany and people love paying.

        Like

      • 255
        Frau Merkel's Diary says:

        you don’t speak for this frau you can keep your norfolk sausage and butcher’s dogs – we have a brankfurst for reactionary troublemakers like you and you’re getting it if you dump the turkey – he can say what my electorate think and take the flak if it falls on deaf ears then we’ll see whose sausage wags the dog.

        but don’t tell him Pyke.

        Like

      • 269
        The tit in no.10 (but not for long at all now) says:

        Thanks, Angular.
        Are we allowed to prick the skins ?

        Like

    • 254
      Brussels Broadcasting Chancers says:

      Red ink, more like, as it’s the colour of the new Soviet Europe.

      If, and it’s a big if, divvy Dave makes it to the next parliament as PM, he will still not want to leave your(?) EUSSR and by then so much will have changed that it will be a whole new ball game.

      But what is more likely by putting off this referendum till somebody else is elected it means we won’t get that vote at all.

      Like

      • 264
        green ink says:

        the colour of the ink has no significance.

        I couldn’t agree more … time and changes may produce a solution that works either way … it is at this point undetermined… but I don’t think we should turn our back on striving for a level playing field for trade as a fundiment of whatever outcome is decided.

        Like

    • 256

      Agree with your summary in large part. The problem is with Dave and his party. They decided they needed a son of Blair at the very instant that Blair’s image started to seriously tarnish. They have thus lost eight years as this ludicrous assumption is unwound, as without doubt it must be.

      Indeed, but for this wrong-headed approach, it is likely that the Tories would have won an overall majority. Now some might want to argue the case over this but how else would one explain UKIP’s inexorable rise from those times, initially almost exclusively at the expense of the Tories?

      If a week is a log time in politics then eight years is an eternity. Young people can become middle-aged in that time and the middle-aged can become elderly.

      No wonder people are saying Bugger it, I cannot wait any longer! I held out against this feeling myself until I realised that we were going backwards even faster under the coalition than we were under Gordon Brown.

      Meanwhile the disaffected are likely to go somewhere on the basis that, had they done so earlier, the timescales you quite correctly set out would be maturing now and the benefits would be in sight if not already evident.

      The proposed way calls for another seven years and a fair wind by which time some of the elderly may be pushing up daisies.

      Like

      • 278
        green ink says:

        you are absolutely right SC the timescale constantly frustrates.

        I don’t think David cameron as PM was a bad choice given the options rising at the time … the party likes him but is very frustrated when they don’t appear to be being listened to .. and frankly the the posh boy slang pathetic but in honesty what else can the socialists fall back on … champagne socialist apologists as they are.

        Ukip picked up a wealth of dissaffected tories and are now pulling in libdems and labourites … but the rump is tory and whilst they may not succumb in the short term they are more likley to allign with them than the libdems or labour.

        That may mean changes at the top table but I don’t see in Cameron a one trick pony and I do see farage having a very steep learning curve.

        Its easy to end up with a jaundiced view but this may be one of the most interesting periods in Uk politics for some time.

        Like

        • 296

          But you have already noted that UKIP are now pulling in non-Tories in substantial numbers. The previous time this happened was under Margaret Thatcher who was less of a Tory than she was a radical.

          Farage is certainly a huge admirer of Thatcher and, significantly, does not disdain the views of ordinary folk of any persuasion again just like the Iron Lady.

          What you are seeing here is the Nolan Chart at work. New alliances are set up between people who previously would not regard themselves as bedfellows. What they do have in common is the clear recognition that the current system is simply not serving them any more.

          Like

    • 275
      Ray Zondetra says:

      The ‘Conservatives’ abandoned the Conservative way long ago and joined the old enemy. That is why UKIP exists.

      Like

    • 308
      albacore says:

      After all, is this a democracy?
      LibLabCons know better than you and me
      Well, they always have, so they always will
      They’re cute and lovely and totally brill
      It ain’t their fault, all it is is bad luck
      That everything they touch ends in the muck
      A referendum’s too much to ask for
      As sure as sure, according to Sod’s Law
      Us ignorant plebs would demand an OUT
      I ask you! Is that what voting’s about?

      Like

    • 311
      Anonymous says:

      Good post green ink but I’m afraid your hopes of reform will be dashed, look at the Tobin tax, they couldn’t protect our most important industry from the EU.

      Like

  60. 257
    National Socialist says:

    Could it be that Cameron, or others in the cabinet, are being blackmailed?

    Like

    • 270
      Mein Herr RumpyPumpy unt others says:

      SSHHH! – vee have vays ov making you zer stumm keep!

      Like

    • 281
      LampLighter says:

      Interesting, if true. But I don’t think it would be the Europeans, but the Cousins. Why?
      I can’t see the Bundesnachrichtendienst (and other German intel agencies) or the DSG getting one over on our agencies. And to blackmail HMG they would have to do just that. The Cousins are a different matter, but only because their pockets are deeper not because of competence.

      Like

  61. 259
    Great Briton says:

    Tour de France…….. Child’s play

    http://yeshesmad.com/

    Like

  62. 260
    Hear all See all Say nowt says:

    Read all about it……………..Read all about it

    ‘Mad swivel-eyed loons’ feared lost jumping from s(t)inking ship.

    Captain & crew blithely stay on board regardless of their impending fate.

    Read all about it……………….

    Like

  63. 262
    Feckin right too says:

    “The DWP has been ordered to publish the names of firms taking part in the controversial schemes. The setback follows a recent ruling that staff had been unlawfully made to work unpaid for organisations including Poundland”

    Like

    • 265
      Helen121 says:

      I am certainly keen to see the list of companies – and put it straight against the list of donors to the Tory Party. And yes, which MPs from any party have financial involvement in those companies.

      Also it will enable us to tally exactly how much has been given to those companies in the form of free labour. I am less against the work experience scheme which I understand is of quite short duration, no?

      Like

  64. 272
    nellnewman says:

    Apparently mandelson and the kinnochios are joining forces with cameron to keep the UK in the EU. They are absolutely desperate to save their EU pensions and will do anything and tell any lie in order to achieve that!!

    Like

    • 274
      nellnewman says:

      cleggie will be joining them in their lying/misinformation marathon as he wants an EU commissioner’s job just after 2015 when the libdems bo mb out at the next election.

      BaronessAshton, gordon’s bosom pal who has proved utterly useless by anybody’s standard as EU foreign minister will be adding her voice to the cacophony to keep us in the EU as otherwise she also will be losing thousands in EU pensions etc over the next few years.

      The EU is all about what the UK political elite can leach off the taxpayer!!! It’s nothing to do with what’s best for the UK!!

      Like

      • 284
        Aunt Hilda says:

        don’t worry Nellie the Prime Mincer and the Pillocks can croon on as long as they like – they’re dead duck champagne socialists

        Like

  65. 277
    Dan Hodges says:

    First look at the front pages with BBCPapers at 10.30pm. Reviewers: Isabel Hardman of The Spectator & Owen”The rampant Poof” Jones of The Independent

    Like

    • 280
      Owen Jones Mum says:

      You say my Owen is going to be up at 10:30 PM ?

      His bedtime is at 8:30. Owen !

      Like

      • 302
        Curious says:

        Who’s his daddy Ms.Jones? There can’t be any other explanation for the amount of air time the little shit gets, other than good old blackmail.

        Like

  66. 283
  67. 285
    Ed Moribund says:

    You know inflation and stagflation and deflation.

    Well, which one is the good one?

    Like

  68. 286
    Ghengis says:

    52 million reasons per day to leave the cess pit of the EUSSR

    Like

  69. 287
    DONE FOR DAVE once a homo always a homo says:

    I say you chaps , just do what comes natural

    Like

    • 288
      DONE FOR DAVE once a homo always a homo says:

      Cameron is still lying
      he is now saying “we will re negotiate our position in Europe before a referendum
      which means “we wont need a referendum as i’ve re negotiated our position in Europe”

      ONCE A LIAR ALWAYS A LIAR

      Like

      • 309
        EU Watch says:

        Article 50 of the Lisbon treaty has all the provisions and renegotiation is the best foot forward.

        Only problem is, Dave has already tried that and the EU said: No.

        The other shining example of the wonderful working relationship EU-UK and Dave’s presence over there was the small matter of EU budget negotiation. Dave said it would go down, EU said they would reduce, then what happened. UK proposed increase of about GBP 3m / day

        Time to exit.

        Following Exit, put interest rates back at 5% and start trading direct with the confused folk in the Commonwealth (New Zealand / Canada have been sounding very communist in tone recently, and Australia is about to have a big housing collapse…) and some quite nice chaps in the newly emerged world.

        Plenty out there.

        Mandy says that UKIP are about isolation.

        Isolation is what the EU is hoping to do to the UK.

        Exiting is very much not an isolationist decision.

        Like

  70. 289
    • 291
      Comedy Dave says:

      …this isn’t just tax avoidance…this is M&S tax avoidance…

      Do you think it will catch on ?

      Like

    • 294
      Comedy Dave says:

      This isn’t just anyone just screwing us over…. this is M&S screwing us over…..

      Like

    • 338
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      And M&S have clothes made in Bangladesh. Now why did the media only tell us about Primark?

      Like

  71. 290
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    IS THIS A DAGGER I SEE BEFORE ME ??

    Like

    • 298
      Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

      :)

      Like

      • 301
        nellnewman says:

        I would really like to see the unconvinceable cable as leader of the libdems.

        If they think cleggie has taken them to unfathomable lows – it’s nothing compared to where the incomparable bumbling vince will take them!!!!

        Like

  72. 297
    One Term Dave says:

    What iceberg? I can’t see any iceberg. Chillax.

    Like

    • 305
      Ex Loon says:

      You’ve already hit it Captain, you dumb cnut. It had a pink gay marriage flag on it. Your ship is holed below the waterline, and water is flooding over the bulkheads. You’re fucked.

      Like

  73. 300
    Anonymous says:

    Pleasepleasepleaseplease stay in the EU my luvly boyos. Look you, me and the missus won’t have anything to do if we can’t spend hours counting our pensions.

    Like

    • 303
      nellnewman says:

      mandy apparently will lose £50k a year if we come out of the EU – the kinnochios have 4/5 EU pensions of the same value which mean they will lose about £250k a year . baronessashton the rubbish eu foreign office chap will lose even more.

      The sooner it happens the better – look how much it will save us on top of the £50million a day we are giving the EU for no benefit to us!!!

      Like

    • 375
      M­aq­bo­ul says:

      Golden handcuffs.

      Like

  74. 306
    Samcam says:

    Dave — I’ve told you before — that’s the wrong orifice — you old Etonians are all the same.

    Like

  75. 312
    nellnewman says:

    Anybody have a good argument for staying in the EU?

    No thought not!!

    Like

    • 314
      EU Watch says:

      Once the UK exits, there would be a very good reason to offer other European countries membership of the Commonwealth.

      No strings, just trade.

      Like

      • 324
        Gizzard Puke says:

        ah yes the commonwealth – well for some but not all me thinks – back to days of empire – blimey you people are fucking arses – longing for days of old – 17th century here we come

        Like

        • 331
          Read and Digest Dude. The Commonwealth is all that the EU ain't says:

          The member states cooperate within a framework of common values and goals, as outlined in the Singapore Declaration. These include the promotion of democracy, human rights, good governance, the rule of law, individual liberty, egalitarianism, free trade, multilateralism and world peace. The Commonwealth is not a political union, but an intergovernmental organisation in which countries with diverse social, political and economic backgrounds are regarded as equal in status

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commonwealth_of_Nations

          Like

    • 342
      Anonymous says:

      The biggest risk to leaving is any political price we might have to pay. We shouldn’t take our access to the single market for granted just because of Switzerland and that we have a trade deficit. An acrimonious exit will have political consequences. Pissing off an economic giant like Germany is not good business. Not saying we shouldn’t leave but we should manage it diplomatically and absolutely not let Ukip’s reductive populism dictate the agenda.

      Like

      • 378
        A Pensioner says:

        Since when has appeasing the Hun done any good? Strength is what those Prussians appreciate. Go on Dave, show em your willy.

        Like

  76. 313
    Frankfurt school for goyim says:

    I could stop us declaring war on Germany again and then blaming the Germans for starting it again?

    Like

  77. 317
    Eurogayers on a night like this says:

    Soon, it seems gayness will be the norm and the perverts will be those who choose sexual consort the traditional way.

    Like

    • 327

      You are taking us back a few years already.

      Like

      • 334
        The UKIP tail wagging the Tory dog says:

        The muslims will never allow that.

        Like

        • 381
          Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

          We have always had gays, and us Welsh don’t mind them at all. We allow them to be as God produced them, without any form of prejudice. Anyway, they make good hairdressers, internal house decorators and boutique shop owners for the ladies, and that also makes me puzzled why tory right hardcore ladies are giving them now a hard time, since they use their services always.

          Like

  78. 318
    Real Conservatives vote UKIP says:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/may/18/david-cameron-control-geoffrey-howe

    The dead sheep Howe, not content with having knifed Maggie, returns to perpetuate all the lies about Europe and the EU and demonstrate beyond all possible doubt that he is a traitor to the UK and its people.
    Meanwhile, Prince of Darkness Mandelson has the nerve to accuse ‘Tory Eurosceptics’ of running a protection racket when that is the very thing that he himself is doing under the cloak of the EU.
    These vermin are being flushed from under their stones and exposed for what they are as they try to defend the EU, surely one of the very biggest criminal organisations the world has ever seen.
    The downfall of the EU cannot come a moment too soon.

    Fight to restore freedom and democracy to Europe.

    Like

  79. 325
    Gizzard Puke says:

    Real Conservatives are inbred loonies

    Like

  80. 326
    The neo nuts looney loons says:

    Yip yip yip

    Like

  81. 329

    Why is Owen Jones so pasty white when his privates appear wonderfully suntanned?

    Like

  82. 330
    Depression It's what your Husband does says:

    Like

    • 333
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Shut it swivel eyed loon.

      Like

    • 337
      Gorran the Loon says:

      How’s that mad swivel-eyed loon if a husband doing?

      Like

      • 350
        DONE FOR DAVE once a homo always a homo says:

        Desperate women do desperate things
        Like marrying a fucking retard

        What the fuck were you thinking ?

        Like

    • 380
      Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

      HEY! leave Sarah along, she is alright, you keyboard bullies – she’s done nothing wrong. Just give me a shout Sarah if you want me to call the lads to sort anyone out, ok?

      Like

  83. 332
    Anonymous says:

    Camerons real day job is to destroy the Tory Party/ He actively seeks to get rid of members, and membership has declined from around 400,000 to around 120,000 under his leadership. It will now go into freefall. This development is
    secretly welcomed by Cameron and his cronies who will be able to easily manipulate a small membership clique technologically linked to Tory HQ. No need for these loony local members then/

    Like

  84. 339
    Chuka smokes his Lagos shopping says:

    Like

    • 344

      One can only imagine that Umunna did not exist before 2002 when he joined Herbert Smith at the age of 23. He the became a fully fledged {insert noun of choice: I will use self-publicist} in that year. Before that he can have had no experience or memory.

      So all he knows about is Labour government which, through its fundamental misunderstanding of economic liberalism, enabled large corporations to indulge themselves as they liked, free of any regulations which had existed in the Conservative government years. Thus was Libor manipulation born. Sub-prime lending mushroomed. CDOs became instantly manufactured currency. Now we find that the fuel giants were fixing prices to the detriment of the British public. All under Labour’s watch.

      None of these things happened under the 18 years of conservative administration previously nor, to be scrupulously fair, did they happen under the Wilson/Callaghan administrations to any great extent.

      So who can he possibly be railing against? Messrs Blair and Brown, please step forward. Chuka, your nappy needs a change. It stinks.

      Like

  85. 345
    Bazinga! says:

    Who else thinks Cameron is doing all this to divert attention from a failing economy?

    Like

    • 361
      Joe Blogs says:

      Me

      Like

    • 382
      albacore says:

      Look upon Dave’s works and try not to despair
      What with him and premiers like Brown and Blair
      The place to focus on growth and inflation
      Ain’t the budget. It’s rising immigration
      In any case, the vision that’s strongest held
      In Parliament’s to UP the E U’s Danegeld

      Like

  86. 346
    Anonymous says:

    Like

    • 349
      Arse fuck for freedom says:

      This headline says it all…arse fuck for freedom!

      Blilderbugger Dave…lick your arse out!

      Like

    • 362
      I.KIP.DO.U ? says:

      Did they airbrush the pillow out of that picture or what ? :-)

      Like

    • 373
      Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

      Couldn’t give a damn if a squirrel married a goat in my local church down the road, more the merrier I say, and more money in the Vicars coffers for the church roof fund and all that. I have no idea why the Tory right hardcore are getting so worked up about this. Anyway, official marriage is a pair of legal handcuffs/ball and chain, so think of the extra work for solicitors if things go tits up for such in the future?

      Like

      • 384
        Toothless Dave, EU-lover who claims he can renegotiate on our behalf when he cannot and will not says:

        Extra work for my solicitor chums ? I should say so ! Absobloodylutely !

        Like

  87. 351
    Al Gore's hockey stick says:

    Scientists say the recent downturn in the rate of global warming will lead to lower temperature rises in the short-term.
    Since 1998, there has been an unexplained “standstill” in the heating of the Earth’s atmosphere.
    Source – BBC

    Like

    • 363
      UKIP therefore I am says:

      It would be good if these scientists gave up and figured out something more useful, like how to lower energy costs.

      One suggestion: Fracking

      Like

      • 376
        Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

        Weather has gone a bit crazy, in the last few years especially, so something is going on. It is said the melting of the Arctic ice cap will lead to colder Winters and warmer Summers in the UK and Western Europe, due to the modification of the North Atlantic Gulf stream, with it’s knock on effects to the Jet Stream due to changes in sea water evaporation. It’s one of my hobbies, looking at what is going on in the North Atlantic sea environment, year on year.

        Like

        • 379
          Mandy Pandy comes out to play says:

          And if anyone is wondering about my user name, Mandy especially…

          Like

      • 385
        Why bother with real evidence when you can make up your own to suit your agenda says:

        The best use for climate-change scientists is to throw another one on the fire when it gets a bit chilly of an evening.
        These were the people who were predicting a new ice-age not so long ago, and with just as much certainty. Their expertise depends solely upon who’s prepared to pay them the most money.

        Like

  88. 352
    DONE FOR DAVE once a homo always a homo says:

    Come on John Redwood , you still have one last leadership challenge in you !

    Do it for your party and your country , get rid of this lying European arse licker Cameron , before it’s too late

    Like

  89. 386
    Oy Vey says:

    GOLD 1,343.30 -21.40 -1.57%

    I can’t take much more of this .

    Like

  90. 387
    Dave lost his appeal long ago says:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/may/19/gay-marriage-bill-amendment-labour

    So now Dave’s claiming that ‘gay marriage’ is all about saving money and that it’ll cost us if we don’t let him ram his bill through.
    Funny how he never thought to mention this alleged cost-saving before.

    Like

    • 392
      Gay MP says:

      Dave is a mong, who will lose the Tories the next election, a bit like he did at the last one.

      Like

  91. 388
    Support your local impoverished MP says:

    http://ind.pn/YSnMhQ

    Like

  92. 390
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    If I was a cynic I would say that this weekend grey men in blue suits have been trying to get rid of Mr Cameron.

    Like


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cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


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