May 17th, 2013

Friday Caption Contest (Push the Button Edition)


  1. 1
    Timmytour says:

    Pull for fun

  2. 2
    S P 4 B S says:

    OK. I don’t know who that is.

    I’d hoped for Nigel Farrage tossing off a cable. caber.

  3. 3
    WelshRacer says:

    She needs to be pressed harder on this.

  4. 4
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Pull for Action, surely.

  5. 5
    Ding Dong says:

    Accra Calling

  6. 6
    Tuscan Tony says:

    If Guido ever transgendered himself I fear the result would be something like this.

  7. 7
    Polly Toynbee says:

    Urgh she is horribly white

  8. 8
    Tom Wotsan says:

    Fuck it, no prize so nowt in it for me

    c ya

  9. 9
    WelshRacer says:

    To be honest, I think she would prefer a knob.

  10. 10
    Handycock says:

    Is that the cover for my gloryhole?


  11. 11
    Two Jags one shag and a fag says:

    well before I push for action could she at least fart and give me a clue.

  12. 12
    Call me Dave says:

    Bloody cheek of them normos thinking they can have a civil partnership.

  13. 13
    Invitation to Tender says:

    The sticker for the back of the HS2 inaugural train?

  14. 14
    Bi Curious (No seriously what the fuck is this about?) says:

    Is it a picture of Owen Jones ‘dirty tuppence’?

  15. 15
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    But which Gedo no1 or no2?

  16. 16
    Raunchy Mag say says:

    are you stealing our photos.

    We say: Which button and press with what?

  17. 17
    Boris Stepney says:

    The opening of the West London Dyslexia Free School.

  18. 18
    Antipo-dean says:

    Go on, push me. Push me hard. Push me if you dare.

  19. 19
    Who run's the country again? says:

    This is the button we intend to put on every MP’s head

  20. 20
    Ryan says:

    and that m’lord is the defense case for Nigel Evans

  21. 21
    Becks says:

    Misprint of new tube button ‘Push 1 for Acton’ published.

  22. 22
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:


     | |___________________________________________
     | |`-._`-._         ;|    |:         _.-'_.-'|
     | |`-._`-._`-._     ;|    |:     _.-'_.-'_.-'|
     | |    `-._`-._`-._ ;|    |: _.-'_.-'_.-'    |
     | | _ _ _ _`-._`-._`;|    |:`_.-'_.-' _ _ _ _|
     | |------------------      ------------------|
     | |                                          |
     | |__________________      __________________|
     | |- - - - -_.--_.--;|    |:--._--._- - - - -|
     | |     _.-'_.-'_.-';|    |:`-._`-._`-._     |
     | | _.-'_.-'_.-'    ;|    |:    `-._`-._`-._ |
     | |'_.-'_.-'        ;|    |:        `-._`-._`|
     | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     | |
     | |
     | | U₤₤₤₤₤U    U₤₤₤₤₤U K₤₤₤₤₤K    K₤₤₤₤K I₤₤₤₤₤₤₤I P₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤P  
     | | U₤₤₤₤₤U    U₤₤₤₤₤U K₤₤₤₤₤K    K₤₤₤₤K I₤₤₤₤₤₤₤I P₤₤₤₤₤PPPPPP₤₤₤₤P 
     | | UU₤₤₤₤U    U₤₤₤₤UU K₤₤₤₤₤K   K₤₤₤₤₤K II₤₤₤₤₤II PP₤₤₤₤P     P₤₤₤₤P
     | |  U₤₤₤₤U    U₤₤₤₤U  KK₤₤₤₤K  K₤₤₤₤KKK   I₤₤₤I     P₤₤₤P     P₤₤₤₤P
     | |  U₤₤₤₤D    D₤₤₤₤U    K₤₤₤K K₤₤₤₤K      I₤₤₤I     P₤₤₤P     P₤₤₤₤P
     | |  U₤₤₤₤D    D₤₤₤₤U    K₤₤₤₤K₤₤₤₤K       I₤₤₤I     P₤₤₤PPPPPP₤₤₤₤P 
     | |  U₤₤₤₤D    D₤₤₤₤U    K₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤K        I₤₤₤I     P₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤PP  
     | |  U₤₤₤₤D    D₤₤₤₤U    K₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤K        I₤₤₤I     P₤₤₤PPPPPPPP    
     | |  U₤₤₤₤D    D₤₤₤₤U    K₤₤₤₤K₤₤₤₤K       I₤₤₤I     P₤₤₤P            
     | |  U₤₤₤₤D    D₤₤₤₤U    K₤₤₤K K₤₤₤₤K      I₤₤₤I     P₤₤₤P            
     | |  U₤₤₤₤₤U  U₤₤₤₤₤U  KK₤₤₤₤K  K₤₤₤₤KKK   I₤₤₤I     P₤₤₤P            
     | |  U₤₤₤₤₤₤UU₤₤₤₤₤₤U  K₤₤₤₤₤K   K₤₤₤₤₤K II₤₤₤₤₤II PP₤₤₤₤₤PP          
     | |   UU₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤₤UU   K₤₤₤₤₤K    K₤₤₤₤K I₤₤₤₤₤₤₤I P₤₤₤₤₤₤₤P          
     | |     UU₤₤₤₤₤₤UU     K₤₤₤₤₤K    K₤₤₤₤K I₤₤₤₤₤₤₤I P₤₤₤₤₤₤₤P          
  23. 23
    scottishcalvin says:

    In an attempt to remain young looking, party officials ordered up large-size prints rather that put reading glasses on

  24. 24
    disco anon says:

    Sing along…………..” You can ring my Beh….eh…ell, ring my bell, do do,do do, You can ring my beh…eh…ell, ring my bell”.

  25. 25
    Eleanor Jackson says:

    Let’s ban everything on earth just in case they offend muslims.

  26. 26
    Roscoe Rules says:

    I must say the babes have certainly gone downhill since I last accidently hit the red button and got stuck on the Babewatch channel for at least half an hour till my wife walked in.

  27. 27
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Is that anything like “Push, push inna bush…”?
    But the way things are today, she’s probably gone Brazilian…

  28. 28
    For descrimination against heterosexuals.. says:

    .. vote Conservative.

  29. 29
    Nick Clegg says:



  30. 30
    Diane Abbott says:


  31. 31
    Diane Abbotapotumus says:


  32. 32
    Diane Abbotapotumus says:

    Oi shut it

  33. 33

    The public message for the EU referendum is delivered for approval.

    Dave: “Someone’s cocked this up. Press for inaction I said!

  34. 34
    Gaylord says:

    That’s the size of Liam Fox’s imaginary nuclear button.
    He keeps it in a secret place, inside the foreskin of his ‘travelling companion’.

  35. 35
  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    On so may levels this campaign is just wrong:

    Machinery: A large red button always means stop action.
    Autistic: Pushing an Autistic person does generally create an action
    Gender: Why are so many females used in promoting a largely male problem.
    Spectrum: Why is the opposite end of the autistic spectrum not considered a problem. Take every trait of autism and think of the opposite extreme, and look around you for some candidates.

  37. 37
    Lord Leveson says:

    It says the right thing ‘[The] Press for Action’

    See you in court

  38. 38
    Your typical tolerant muzzie says:

    Why is you working in council? Working in council is man’s job. You offend me! You be going to kitchen! You wash and cook and clean! You not leave house without burqa and with man’s permission! Do this now!

  39. 39
    Bi Curious (No seriously what the fuck is this about?) says:

    Ok we have a red button with ‘push for action’ written on it and one of the birds from Cagney&Lacey holding a pamphlet.
    I’m still fucked if I know what it’s about.

  40. 40
    Yawn says:

    When will amateur bloggers with no followers learn that their is no SEO goodness in ‘no follow’ links such as a blog comment?

  41. 41
    The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button says:

  42. 42
    Yawn says:


  43. 43
    WelshRacer says:

    Caroline Nokes MP

    Blue Peter fans will get this:

    Push for Action & “Go with Nokes”

  44. 44
  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    See 38: 50 MPs started this campaign to harass autistic children. Just imagine the school play ground.

  46. 46
    davo says:

    I’ve examined this picture for half an hour and I have to conclude that there is absolutely no funny caption in there. And believe me, I can think laterally.

  47. 47
    sugarbabes v673.78c says:

    degenerative dyslexia has fucked mutya good and proper.

  48. 48
    True boring facts (with addded logic) says:

    For a while, in Communist China, red traffic lights meant ‘go’, because ‘red’ signified ‘moving forwards, progress’.

    From this, I deduce that the young lady in the photo is (a) Chinese and (b) a communist.

  49. 49
    Educated (sic) under Labour says:

    Somebody who dont kno how to u’se apo’strophe’s?

  50. 50
    Stephen Fry says:

    It is a photo of what used to be the world biggest ‘Smartie’, thenl I came along. Fnar fnar.

  51. 51
    davo says:

    Apart from, possibly:

    1) “Oh Godddd, I’ve just cum”.

    2) “Hi, I’m Ed Winchester”.

    3) “Today I have been mainly eating lentils”.

  52. 52
    davo says:

    I rest my case.

  53. 53
    Get down Shep says:

    It’s Caroline Noakes Conservative MP for Romsey and Southampton North if I am not deceived ?

  54. 54
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    She seems to be standing next to a big red one

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    You are talking about the promotion executive brought in to make a campaign at enormous cost.

    All the others involved just ran along as all good UK charities do. They were swept forward in the hunt for money. Did anyone actually try this campaign out with the supposed beneficiaries. They would have told them to push the delete button.

  56. 56
    Stephen Fry says:

    Autism isn’t that one of those illnesses that’s increased in proportion to the amount of shrinks paid to diagnose it?
    fnar fnar

  57. 57
    Harry Krishna says:

    The only thing to do if you want to see if it is triplets or quads!!

  58. 58
    Dave says:

    who the flip is it

  59. 59
    Wyle Cop says:

    PS: the pic doesn’t need a caption; it speaks for itself.
    PPS: I would, though.

  60. 60
    Dave says:


    would seem apt, whoever it is

  61. 61
    The Talented Mr Werritty says:

    I’ll have you know, Dr Fox likes the “cut” of my jib, so to speak.
    Try again, fool.

  62. 62
    Dave says:

    the fat one with stupid hair

    oh. hang on.

    btw did anyone see Guido Number 2 on The Voice last weekend?

  63. 63
    111 Hotline says:

    Guido best get back from the 3 bottle lunch, this caption competition is shite.

    Send stories

  64. 64
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    I know politicians are as thick as pigshit but who in their right mind would stand next to this!

  65. 65
    Wyle Cop says:

    …and Caroline can think horizontally.

  66. 66
    Pervy Sam says:

    Tits or arse, love.

  67. 67
    Fatima Whitbread says:

    she has my jaw

  68. 68
    hmmm says:

    is that a sugababe?

  69. 69
    Joanie "Chyna" Laurer, lady wrestler and porn star, says:

    Yes, it is Ms Nokes. But you’d be forgiven for thinking it was me.

  70. 70
    Weybridgeman says:

    I was expecting Lacey to appear, not Hodge!

  71. 71
    S P 4 B S says:

    I call it “Diana-ism”.

    Its all about saying you understand other people. all the sodding time.
    But not being able to understand anything else.

    “I hear what you are saying”

  72. 72
    S P 4 B S says:

    Maybe. but one might note that “Mr. Logic” from viz, was a real person with undiagnosed aspergers. In the old days it was perfectly acceptable to not talk to people if you didn’t want to.

  73. 73
    Anonymous says:

    Breast reduction?

  74. 74
    Jim says:


  75. 75
    S.B.S. says:

    Oh, Hello, Ding, Dong, I am going to ring your bell.

  76. 76
    Jim says:


  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    You mean people that believe they can represent the interests of a community without ever meeting them, and are desperate to talk constantly, and gather in small rooms with hundreds of people.

    I call them MPs.

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    8b d8 dP”Yb 88b 88 dP””b8
    88b d88 dP Yb 88Yb88 dP `”
    88YbdP88 Yb dP 88 Y88 Yb “88
    88 YY 88 YbodP 88 Y8 YboodP

  79. 79
    The Dyslexia Society says:

    Why is dyslexia so difficult to spell?

  80. 80
    geordieboy says:

    Latest gimmic for the maternity wards for those thinking of a caesarean.

  81. 81
    Mary Hinge says:

    Following her divorce, is she standing outside a new dating sign waiting to join?

  82. 82
    Dave the Rave has lost the plot says:

    This must be a Tory horse

    As Rebekah would say

    A Kingdom for my horse….

  83. 83

    Chris Huhne gets support for his condition from unlikely quarters, upon his release.

  84. 84
    The Noble Lord Blaby says:

    Push off (say the electorate)

  85. 85
    Randy MP says:

    Not again

  86. 86
    Gaye Mann (Mrs) says:

    …and ‘call me Dave’ Dave specifically asked for this to be disconnected.

  87. 87
    Village Idiot says:

    I’ve got a big ‘un….(use your imagination)

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    The winner.

  89. 89
    Ryan says:

    has anyone noticed the anagram

    Push for action = Chats Poof Ruin

  90. 90
    elaineland says:

    Taxi’s here for UKIP !!

  91. 91
    Rick says:

    UNITE funded boffins have come up with a new enhancement for the long awaited upgrade of Ed Milliband to version 1.01. Intended as a solution to Ed Milliband v1.00’s complete lack of any policy whatsoever on absolutely anything, it’s designers are hoping the code can be adapted to rectify other design flaws discovered since its inception.

    Future upgrades are rumoured to include an oratory skills patch and a ‘page 1 rewrite’ of its personality code. This would give it a more human-like personality, although after about 30 seconds, it is likely that most people would be able to discern that they were not communicating with a normal person. Planned improvements to Ed’s logical processes have been shelved due to pressure placed upon the programmers by the Labour Party as it was stated that the improved version did not correlate with Labour Party ideals and socialist philosophy.

  92. 92
    Lord Renhardon says:

    I keep clicking my mouse on her tits but nothing seems to happen!!

  93. 93
    Disgusted of Neasden says:

    I wonder how many autistic people spent the rest of the day pushing it and getting no action?

    Or maybe that’s a metaphor for the whole political establishment?

  94. 94
    Good Lord Fondleboys in the county of pants says:

    Wrong sort of action for me love.

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    …and clean up mess those pre-teen white whores have made in guest room. We have party tonight for many friends, so do ironing.

  96. 96
    Mike Handlecock while watching says:

    Got anything younger?

  97. 97
    Auto.Exec.Bat. says:

    Poor old Ed wouldn’t pass the Turing Test that’s for sure. He really is Dave’s best asset for the GE2015

  98. 98
    izzy says:

    lesdyxia — there you are — easy

  99. 99
    Ukip will annex the Jocks says:

    No really, I love it too fast too deep. But…… no flat lining (call 111 haha), depositing (what gold?), double dipping (sustainable growth?), flip flopping ( but we all do it, ok I’ll pay it back), whipping (whey hey, there’ll be a welcome in the hillside). Is this tax deductable?

  100. 100
    Will E Likka says:

    What weight does it normally fight at?

  101. 101
    Gaston says:

    Push to switch on the overhead camera?

  102. 102
    wight tory says:

    “Shame its not a Brown button, that one would save the world….”

  103. 103
    femmy nist says:

    twiddle my clitoris and win a top prize!!

  104. 104
    Richard Head says:

    AHH NO!!! Quick! Unpush it again!

  105. 105
    robbie says:

    “or you could just buy me a drink”.

  106. 106
    The wizz says:

    What button??

  107. 107
    The wizz says:

    Should said button be embedded into DCM’s forehead, so we can all punch it to see what heppens?

  108. 108
  109. 109
    John Tandy says:

    Push for pergatory….

  110. 110
    I have OCD - I was born that way says:

    Sorry, I don’t get this. Can someone in touch with things tell me please. LEAVE MY TOYS ALONE!

  111. 111
    I have OCD - I was born that way says:

    It’s the far away look in the eyes that tells you the lights are on but nobody is at home. “What do you want for tea Timmy, how about spaghetti hoops on toast, your favourite, yes? Might as well talk to the wall here….”

  112. 112
    I have OCD - I was born that way says:

    it’s a jap’s eyeeeee…

  113. 113
    I have OCD - I was born that way says:

  114. 114
    I have OCD - I was born that way says:

    I too believe there is a Dog above.

  115. 115
    Fiasco up north says:

    Panic for south

  116. 116
    Penfold says:

    Your request cannot be actioned as we are experiencing high demand levels, your request is important to us and we ask that you try again later, please note that requests for action are charged at our standard rate of £1,000 a go, whether successful or not.
    Thank you for requesting action and we are sorry that we could not assist, but please keep trying, it is important to our revenue stream that you and others request action often.

  117. 117
    What exactly is it that conservaties are conserving? says:

    If pressing this button instantly repatriated every immigrant, would you press it?

    Well would ya, punk?

  118. 118
    Late Night Levy says:

    Looks like Nosher Nokes has been doing the, er, wrong type of noshing.

  119. 119
    Caroline Pokes says:

    I’ve had more action than Silly BerCow on one of her Magaluf benders

  120. 120
    Anonymous says:

    Push for action pull-out

  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    I’m a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac – I lay awake at night wondering if there is a dog

Seen Elsewhere

UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

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