May 16th, 2013

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly.

Thousands of Westminster insiders read the Guidogram, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. The Tory civil war begins…

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    Ian Hislop says:

    How do I get the App ?

  2. 2
    Private Eye says:

    How do we subscribe?

  3. 3
    Private Eye says:


  4. 4
  5. 5
    mm says:

    “Thousands of Westminster insiders read the Guidogram … ”


    far too many – sack ‘em all they cost too much to the taxpayer

  6. 6
    Eleanor Jackson says:

    The Guidogram should be banned since it might offend local Muslim residents.

  7. 7
    Diane Abbotapotumus says:

    Ban sugar

  8. 8

    Sorry, he has to be an insider…

  9. 9
    Nigel Farridge says:

    The fecking week is getting shorter and shorter.

    Work to rule then?

  10. 10
    Joyce Thacker says:

    He’s a UKIP fan
    Take his kids away.

  11. 11
    Moussa Koussa Mark 9 says:

    Who the is that jumped up little spazzer 12 year old Tory MP James Wharton.

    Shouldn’t he still be at school

    He is like Har*ry Enfield’s young Tory caricature from the late 80′s.

    Is he a rising star, or a suited fuckwit.

  12. 12
    David Beckham says:

    Now I am retiring from the game, I am deciding where to open my fish & chip shop.

  13. 13
    albacore says:

    O Lor’, not a gory Tory civil war!
    If you listen hard you’ll hear the voters snore
    You know now it ain’t like in the days of yore
    A real Tory’s as rare as a dinosaur

  14. 14
    Ed Miliband says:

    Have some respect now that Beckham has passed please

  15. 15
    Ed Moribund says:

    Such a sad week for rugby.
    First, Sir Alex Ferdinand retires.
    Then Rio Tinto announces his exit.
    And now David Beckham has quit the Spice girls.

    What a sad day.

  16. 16
    Gordon Brown says:

    Good job the Arctic Monkeys are still together.

  17. 17
    Moussa Koussa Mark 9 says:

    Has Trevor been nicked yet !!!!!!

  18. 18
    Mike Handycock says:

    Nope..I’m still clinging on.

  19. 19
    Mozzies dropping flares, Lancs to dump on top says:

    Makes me proud to be British, sniff – hanky please. Used to be part of this mob – but suppose I still am, you never leave.

    Best vid of it, the various Sky versions on youtubby filmed from a ‘copter are CRAP! So was forced to post the Beeb one, click the link.

  20. 20
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    It’s a bit like Monty Pythons fish dance

  21. 21
    Mozzies dropping flares, Lancs to dump on top says:

    Whitehall Ministry of Silly Walks more like,

  22. 22
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    That is more like Dubya than Milliwhatsit

  23. 23
    Englishman says:

    I’m appalled to find that some institutions that I had previously considered respectable are funding this dire collaboration of leftie hangers on. ‘The Conversation’ indeed… One can only hope it is some private initiative down at a deparmental level, and not a senior decision.

  24. 24
    Mozzies dropping flares, Lancs to dump on top says:

    And not forgetting BOD POC and ROG from Irelands rugger team on their last legs, all retiring soon.

  25. 25
    Civilised Person says:


  26. 26
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    One for you Geedo, Nigel F. given a real Scottish welcome in Edinburgh. “We’ve never, ever, ever had this kind of response.”

  27. 27
    Rob Roy says:

    Looks like Farage has to put more effort into Scotland.

    Seems to have done very little to come up with policies to appeal to the Scots.

    General statements about keeping Scotland within the Union are not gratefully received.

    A lot more work is needed from him here.

    Three out of ten for today’s performance.

  28. 28
    I like UKIP says:

    Any truth in the rumour that the European Movement dipped into the petty cash and dialled Rent-a-Thug?

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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