May 16th, 2013

Craig Insists on SpAd Radio Silence

Star guest at this morning’s 10:00 meeting for Tory special advisers at CCHQ was Lynton Crosby. It opened with a warning from party chairman Grant Shapps that they would be “fired by the Prime Minister” if any SpAd was caught leaking the details of the meeting. At which point poor old Craig Oliver – who has been at the sharp end of plenty of leaks and briefings recently – turned around and gave each of them an individual “death stare”That worked well…


  1. 1
    Sally's day in court says:


    • 2
      Grasping at straws says:


  2. 3

    John Rentoul said to me that Craig Oliver once confessed to him that he couldn’t believe he [Oliver] was still in the job. Says it all really…


    • 32
      Sir William Waad says:

      There’s nothing special about Special Advisers, is there? They are an ordinary part of the self-serving, solipsistic clique that we loosely refer to as a Government? Why not simply call them ‘advisers’?


      • 42
        Lord Stansted says:

        Good point. And what is the advice they offer. All these tossers look 12-years old so I’d be interested to hear some of their gems of wisdom.


        • 47
          Simples says:

          If they are the ones that (don’t make me laugh) supposedly know what the fuck is going on, why not get rid of the MP and give them the job?


      • 97
        Village Idiot says:

        “Solipsistic”, lat…..alone,, but in metaphysics…..mmm,is it their own little world??


  3. 4
    P l e b says:

    Now then. Craig Oliver. When did we vote for him?


    • 7
      a campbell says:

      no one ever voted for me and look what i got away with !


      • 14
        Mc Bruin says:

        And me.


      • 51
        Old Tory Bigot says:

        If Campbell had any morsel of human decency or any vestige of a conscience then he’d return to the bottle tout de suite.


        • 65
          Another old tory bigot says:

          I would only add to that “a looded revolver and a locked room to be opened only when a loud bang was heard”.


          • Old Tory Bigot says:

            Good idea. We’d have to substitute the traditional tumbler of whisky for a can of Red Bull though. Much more Ally’s style.


          • Dietrich Mateschitz says:

            As a marketing man, I’ve made millions out of packaging up cherryade with astute advertising campaigns and sellling it to thickos round the world.
            Crosby should ask for my advice.


          • Old Tory Bigot says:

            A “looded revolver”

            I like that. It sounds like Harry Enfields ‘Mr Chumley Warner’ narrating the proceedings…

            “Mister Campbell retired to his study with a looded revolver. A few seconds later a loud bang was heared.”


          • Old Tory Bigot says:

            A “looded revolver”

            I like that. It sounds like H Enfields ‘Mr Chumley Warner’ narrating the proceedings…

            “Mister Campbell retired to his study with a looded revolver. A few seconds later a loud bang was heared.”


    • 34
      Jamie Oliver says:

      Dad always said my brother would turn out no good.


  4. 5
    Jimmy says:

    Perhaps he should have told them not to leak, rather than not to get caught.


    • 64
      Timmy Tin Foil says:

      For all the good it would have done in any event.

      The difference between Lefties and Righties is that the Lefties set up an impossibly Pharisaical morality of “Don’t do!” shit people are going to do anyway– things which in themselves may not be horrible, but which may lead to worse things (in their estimation), in order to instil guilt in them and control them thereby– whereas the Righties are more consequentialist– “For it must needs be that these offences come but woe to the one that brings them!”– i.e., do it if you must, but take the weight for it if you are found out. Some Froggie philosopher once came up with a definition of a Perfect Crime– a crime done so well, that not only was it never solved, no-one suspected it had even been committed. Obviously, leaks are not like that. But a ukase against leaks itself being “leaked,” is either a piss-take of impudent “Biblical” proportion, or some sort of meta-blinder along the lines of the Perfect Crime. You decide.


  5. 6
    Kebab Missing Persons Bureau says:

    Where is 8illy these days?


  6. 8
    Moby Dick says:

    dianne Abbott—Osborne economic recovery–pigs will fly

    daily politics


    • 13

      Which reminds me, when is Diane due another taxpayer-paid fact-finding flight to Jamaica?


    • 43
      67% of electorate think Miliband is NOT prime ministerial material says:

      “Brillo” effectively replied THAT if Labour and Miliband were relying on the economy NOT recovering to improve their rating and get elected in 2015 then they were really fecked(he of course did not use that naughty word but the meaning was clear)


  7. 9
    Eleanor Jackson says:

    We should ban pork, alcohol, nightclubs, cinemas, TV and music, as they may offend muslims.


  8. 12
    Fish says:

    Inspector Clouseua’s favourite investigative journalism outfit has scored another spectacular fail.

    The Bureau for Investigative Journalism, the outfit tied by the umbilical to the BBC / Guardian / Labour Newsnight co-productions team, were the idiots that brought you the McAlpine story – not bothering to check their facts, they suffered a dose of premature congratulation and went to broadcast ’cause they thought they’d got a Tory.

    They of course are the people that can’t tell the difference between a City Financier and a property developer.

    And today, Newsnight has to apologise once again for their crap reporting – this time to ‘Help for Heroes’ who the BIJ stitched up in another Labour / Newsnight exclusive last year.

    Doubtless, the BBC will still continue to use Angus Stickler and his team of left wing morons. They’d better! If not where will Clouseau get a job when he retires from the police force.


  9. 17
    Michael Green says:

    It wasn’t me.


  10. 18
    Bazinga! says:

    Has no one told the dozy hag from Labour that is Muslims get their way it will be white women and the gays hanging from the flag post.


    • 30
      Mong Watch says:

      The dozy hag who would attack symbols of the country, and the land, should tread carefully.

      The Georges cross does have a long and glorious past, for the true people of these lands. The only dent was the defeat at Acre.

      Now, if these Muzzie idiots are really trying to make a thing out of events which took place 1000 years ago, then it would perhaps be better to respond in kind and finish them off without any concessions or mercy.

      The rainbow flag and EU flag have zero legitimacy on UK public / government buildings.

      The UK union flag includes the Georges Cross, so substituting one in preference for the other does not mean anything.

      This ‘academic’ is clearly not fit for purpose and should have her funding cut. No wonder the country is a mess when her ilk are ‘teaching’ in the higher education system.


      • 78
        S P 4 B S says:

        The lack of any mention in the original article, of where she teaches etc.etc., suggests to me that she isn’t really a lecturer.


      • 81
        Old Tory Bigot says:

        Sometimes I think it’s not so much the “Muzzie idiots” but the white “progressive” idiots that belly ache on their behalf hoping to elevate their lefty handwringing, right-on credentials.


  11. 19
    Ewan Carrs says:

    just wanted to trademark that moniker


  12. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Wonderful to see tory discipline in action.

    ha ha ha ha ha ha


    • 82
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Dissent is valuable. The Tory party at least understand this.

      I suppose you think that party members should be cowed and toe the line under all circumstances.

      What a dunce you are.


  13. 25
    Gale Force says:

    Tory Bastards, to quote John Major.

    What goes on in between the ears of these morons? 3 years in and this is what we’ve come to… the Tory Party having a vote about what’s wrong with it’s own Queens Speech, all for the sole purpose of removing the last vestiges of protection to workers… offered, in surely the ultimate irony, by the evil European Union. Close down access to markets, close down freedom of movement, close down inward investment, close down exports… all so they can kick us harder.

    And all the while, the blight affecting the UK has little to do with Europe, and everything to do with our own ruling class. What will these Tory turds do when we’re out of the EU? They really are just self obsessed right wing scum


    • 48
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      I assume you include Kate Hoey, Frank Field & Tony Benn who want us out of the EU.


    • 54
      You forgot one ickle wickle thing says:

      Its not a Tory Queens speech but a Tory/Limp Dumb Queens speech

      Do keep up, and get your handler to make sure your propaganda is correct.


    • 66
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      “last vestiges of protection to workers”

      Never heard such hyperbolic fuckwittery.


  14. 26
    Mr. Bumble the beadle says:

    Oliver! Oliver!
    Never before has a boy wanted more.
    Oliver! Oliver!
    Won’t ask for more when he knows what’s in store!


  15. 28
    Bill Stickers says:

    So in a time of hardship and struggle, when a clear vision and direction are required, when our Government could be using her valuable time to help people all at home and all over the world Tory Xenophobia trumps all


    • 33
      Lefties need to be told what to do. says:

      Since when was regaining control of your country xenophobia? Many wars have been fought for far less.


    • 35
      Sir William Waad says:

      Just because you like somebody, it doesn’t mean you have to marry them.


  16. 31
    Clement Freud's dog says:

    The drab emptiness of conservative politics is just sucking any political will or direction out of this country. Pet hates, pet hates, pet hates, waaahhh! Isn’t there a country that needs running? Or has it all been sold off now and Whitehall just has one person sat behind a desk signing away our trillions to the Private sector in contracts? Have these people no actual work left to do?


    • 37
      Edi Milliband says:

      I’d quite like to ruin the country, I’m waiting for a polithy moment with my fwend Big Len


    • 89
      Educated Person says:

      ‘sitting behind a desk’ NOT ‘sat behind a desk. Please learn to speak English.


  17. 36
    DLewisWales says:

    When we have left the EU and been destroyed by a far right isolationist populism that reduced us to serfdom at the hands of unleashed corporatism, will we be allowed to finally charge all those responsible with treason and send them to the gallows?


    • 39
      fruitcake says:

      ooh Socialist Troll Hour has begun.
      Easy on attacking anyone not in their gang, but proven to be short on solutions.


      • 53
        What WMD? says:

        Those responsible for sending our country to war based on a lie should be strung up first.


    • 67
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      “right isolationist populism”

      “unleashed corporatism”

      Somebody’s swallowed the manual.


    • 69
      Bob Fleming says:

      I think you’ll find the EU will be destroyed long before this country which has so far withstood 2 World wars and the 1997-2010 reign of terror


  18. 38
    Bluemooner1 says:

    Sadly I think that Cameron thought that this referendum would serve 2 purposes.

    1. Appease the right wing from joining the nutjobs from UKIP.
    2. Provide a distraction from the dogs breakfast the government has made of the economy.

    Its looking more like his plan has backfired big style!!


  19. 41
    Ed Miliband, Future Prime Minister of Crawley says:

    I will outlaw twitter in Crawley.


    • 45
      Miliband and his "Desperation Nation" slogan says:

      Labour are at a loss to understand WHY they aren’t doing better in the polls


  20. 46
    tanzanite aka nell says:

    +++Laugh+++ militwit reckons it’s his job to make sure we have no vote on the EU – he’s knows best and we must stay in – a wishy washy wally indeed!

    And cleggie says we must stay in the EU as we are not able to solve climate change on our own! What climate change?!!

    We don’t need comedians whilst we’ve got these two!


    • 61
      Pawn Sandwich says:

      On the one hand ALL politicians will say that they are the true defenders of democracy.

      On the other hand their actions defy their words and that just proves that they are capable of deceit and hypocricy. Lying bastards.


    • 90
      David Cameron says:

      Hey, I’m funny too!


  21. 56
    The British public says:

    Here’s a novel idea.
    Politicians start listening to what the British public want.
    We’re usually right.


  22. 63
    Hargaret Modge, Labour MP and Hypocritical serial long term aggressive Tax Avoider + expenses thief says:

    That picture….which one is that? Smashie or Nicey?


  23. 70
    Eleanor Jackson says:

    Marking the 70th anniversary of the Dambusters is imperialist and may offend muslims and Germans. It should be banned.


  24. 72
    Eleanor Jackson says:

    Laughing is offensive to muslims as it’s a sign of pleasure and pleasure is a sin in islam, and therefore it should be banned.


  25. 76
    Bernard Manning says:

    How many muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?

    All 1 billion of them:

    1 imam to declare a fatwa that the lightbulb needs changing;
    250 million muslims across the globe to wave placards saying that the lightbulb needs changing;
    250 million muslims to set fire to candle factories;
    1 sunni imam to declare a fatwa that the new lightbulb needs to be an energy-saving one, as incandescent lightbulbs, with their profligate energy use, are a symbol of the decadent West and therefore satanic;
    1 group of extremist sunnis to blow themselves up in an incandescent lightbulb factory;
    1 shiite imam to declare a fatwa that the new lightbulb needs to be an incandescent one, as energy-saving lightbulbs are a symbol of technological progress and therefore blashemous;
    1 group of extremist shiites to blow themselves up in an energy-saving lightbulb factory;
    250 million sunnis and 250 million shiites to riot with each other in every muslim city in the world over their disagreement over what type of lightbulb to use;
    1 muslim politician to tentatively suggest that, actually, the current lightbulb is working fine;
    1 extremist muslim to assassinate him;

    and 1 ex-Muslim to actually change the lightbulb.


  26. 80
    Nigel Farridge says:

    Keep sane; spunk a SpAd a day


  27. 83
    tanzanite aka nell says:

    In an apology today, the BBC says: “Following an investigation by our Editorial Complaints Unit, the BBC now accepts that its coverage was misleading and unfair to Help for Heroes.

    The BBC gave the impression that Help for Heroes was responsible for shortcomings in the provision of support to wounded veterans. The editorial complaints unit found no evidence to support this suggestion.”

    Good Lord. the biased beeb admitting that it publishes lies!!!


  28. 88
    Anonymous says:

    Re 2015 General Election
    What if an organisation mobilized itself to promote the idea of writing either “IN” or “OUT” on their 2015 election voting slip?
    Referendum sorted !


  29. 98

    Yeah, the Wizard of Oz did a great job for Michael Howard, didn’t he?
    Are you thinking what I’m thinking?


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