Meet Eleanor Jackson: university lecturer, teacher and Labour’s loony lefty town councillor in the quiet Somerset town of Radstock. Hardly a hotbed of religious unrest, yet that hasn’t stopped Jackson from waging war against that menace of these inclusive, progressive times: the St George’s Flag. Radstock Council have banned the flag from flying over the town for fear that it might offend local Muslim residents. Apparently because it was used during the Crusades nine hundred years ago, Jackson says it has to go:

“My big problem is that it is offensive to some Muslims but even more so that it has been hijacked by the far right. My thoughts are we ought to drop it for 20 years.”

In its place will fly the far more friendly Union flag, alongside the rainbow flag in support of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender pride movement. You couldn’t make it up…