May 13th, 2013

Rich’s Monday Morning View


  1. 1
    quirky says:

    DT: — Cameron in terror summit with FBI
    David Cameron will tomorrow meet the head of the FBI before going to Boston in an attempt to learn from America’s response to the marathon bombings.

    He won’t be running the marathon then!

    • 10
      The Kenyan president says:

      He’s here to agree on what to terrorise you with next.

      • 20
        Star Wars is crap, Star Trek is the Daddy says:

        Why travel at fifty miles an hour when you can do sixty, using your mobile phone at the same time? What is the problem Tossifer?

        • 29
          Anonymous says:

          Guido can’t you cut the internet wires between here and Wales?

          • Star Wars is crap, Star Trek is the Daddy says:

            chchchchc. JG Ballad, you ignoramous! Sure Huhne will be up for a bit of him, his classic interview for French telly, but I might be wrong,

          • Star Wars is crap, Star Trek is the Daddy says:

            Christian Bale, from Haverfordwest, in West Wales, before his balls dropped, singing in that film, what was it called? Oh yes, of course, Empire of the Sun,

          • Star Wars is crap, Star Trek is the Daddy says:

            Our rugger team is visiting them this summer Anon, and always give us a brilliant welcome always, a song for the Nips,

            OH YAH!

    • 45
      Frank says:

      To be Frank. I would have thought life in an open prison would be better than being confined in a house with Carina.

    • 85
      I fight on ! I fight to win !! says:

      This is all very reminiscent of the “Iron Lady” being absent at the summit in Paris whilst her party imploded around her back home in Westminster

    • 86
      Mr "c" huhne says:

      Must thank everyone here in helping me publicise my forth coming book releases for which I will serialise to maximise my income off .
      Thank you all in giving me 9 weeks off in this lovely hotel it was nice to get away especially my family ( they don’t understand me) .
      I would suggest those who think crime doesn’t pay but it makes up for it in publicity fees which you’ve all donated so kindly .
      P.S. I’ll probably not pay those legal cost coz that’s what you the tax payers for ,
      Ta Ta

      • 95
        Star Wars is crap, Star Trek is the Daddy says:

        Just let me know when it get’s into my local library, and I promise you Huhne, I will flick it’s pages, before throwing it to one side, as a work of self-egotism.

      • 126
        Hugh Who says:

        If Huhne is allowed to write and profit by it, a book why couldn’t John Darwin and his canoe do the same? One law for one but not the other! Maybe Divine and I could do it too, write a book I mean.

    • 90
      BIKE THIEF says:

      He wont be cycling it either

    • 101
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      I thought the dear leader was supposed going to discuss a free trade treaty with the US ie probably to discuss the raising the status of the UK as a Europe aircraft carrier and for him to elevated to 2nd lieutenant status.

  2. 2
    169995 says:

    Yet another unfunny cartoon . Please sack them Guido.

    • 5
      bald old git says:

      One’s gone …

    • 9
      Vote Tory, get heir to Blair says:

      Agreed. As funny as shit on an apple.

    • 39
      Andy Capp says:

      Me an’ Flo had a right larf. Quality cartoon.

      Is it Huhne by the way? Flo thinks it’s Cleggiron.

    • 43
      a non says:

      The cartoons fine.
      It’s a reasonable characteristic of thingy but the speach balloons let it down.
      With Chucka’s recent attachment to wristwatch bling I would have thought something more comical could have been invented to fit the ankle bracelet.

    • 108
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      Come on, you know you like to have something to moan about on Monday morning, it saves the dog, cat, kids, wifey getting a taste of your venom, at least to today the character is just about recognisable and you know that Huhne out but tagged for the rest of his sentence.

  3. 3
    Maqb­oul says:

    Reader’s voice! Reminds me of the Beano.

    • 13
      Lard Prescott says:

      The readers’ voice is saying “Fuck off Rich and get someone who is funny to do the cartoons”.

  4. 4
    quirky says:

    DT: -We want girls to inherit titles, aristocrats say
    The laws of succession must be changed to allow noble families to pass down titles to their daughters as well as their sons, hundreds of members of the aristocracy declare today.

    should end laws of succession completely then – no more entitlements to the rich cos nobody else is entitled to anything!

    • 11
      Lard Prescott says:

      Aye lad, people who go t’Lords should be them as eats most pies.

    • 58
      Anonymous says:

      Long overdue. It is rlatively easy to be reasonably certain who the mother was – but until DNA testing you might need an infinity of trusted and intimate spies to narrow down the likely father (its why they had all those “master and mistress of the bedchamber” jobs) – and even then ….

    • 74
      Sir William Waad says:

      Fair enough, but the husbands of the gentry and nobility ought to acquire courtesy titles in the same way as wives do at present.

      Better still, allow parents to decide which of their children will inherit the title. That would keep the offspring on their toes.

    • 110
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      Titles might pass on to the eldest daughter but will the money follow the title?

  5. 6
    Anonymous says:

    For the love of God – give it up, ‘Rich’. You are woeful.

  6. 7
    Popeye says:

    Yes how is the Rennard affair proceeding?

  7. 8
    The corruption-riddled 'elite' says:

    We can’t hang him! If we hang him, he won’t learn nothin’ !

  8. 12
    Guy News Room says:

    Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has criticised his coalition partners for their “endless navel-gazing over Owen Jones,” which he said was in danger of distracting the government from its priorities.

  9. 14
    Outrageous says:

    Justice hasn’t been done. The two liars have been treated too leniently.

    • 27
      Ken Clarke, the Jurassic old fart, says:

      What you fail to realise is that prison doesn’t work. Why, we should close all the prisons and then send all the money we’d save to Brussels. And join the euro while we’re at it. Meanwhile, all the former prisoners could happily scamper around, perhaps working in care homes and children’s play centres.

  10. 16
    I hope he got arsefucked every day says:

    I assume they let him out to coincide with the release this week of Fast and Furious 6.

  11. 17
    quirky says:

    does david cameron actually work in this country anymore? whenever we hear from him he’s in africa or america or europe or china??????

    • 67
      Vote Tory, get heir to Blair says:

      If only he would stay there.

    • 77
      albacore says:

      And you reckon the rest aren’t playing away?
      They don’t give a toss about Britain today
      The wolves at the door have been brought in to stay
      More on their way if Parliament has its say

  12. 18
    Blatta orientalis says:

    Rich is, as always, a day late and a dollar short

    • 112
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      What’s this talk of dollars, this is the UK the currency here is the pound sterling

  13. 19
    Dick Branson says:

    Richard Branson is such an attention seeking cock. Any excuse to get his bearded mug on TV. Narcissistic twat.

  14. 22
    Spakko says:

    He got an 8 month sentence and he’s out in 8 weeks? FFS, the system is so soft.

    Crap cartoon though Guido, you really do need a better artist.

  15. 23
    Rewind1616 says:

    It’s alright Chris sleep well in the assured knowledge you’ve bankrupt the nation through extortionate energy taxes/cost/bullshit

  16. 24
    A 1970s TV celebrity says:

    Titter ye not!

  17. 26
    Ed Miliband Spokesman says:

    Sunteți binevenit să solicite prestații noastre de protecție socială
    (You’re welcome to claim our welfare benefits in Romanian)

  18. 28
    John Tandy says:

    8 month sentence served 8 weeks. If that isn’t a complete farce i dont know what is ?

  19. 30
    Vicky Pryce says:

    I had sex with a cucumber.

  20. 31
    Star Wars is crap, Star Trek is the Daddy says:

    This ankle band for England does knap at my skin, like for one of those on the wrist for charity. I think anything around a wrist or an ankle spots you out as a prozzie or a charity worker, which we do ask at most times, what is the difference?

    Has anything changed, Sir Bob? Don’t think so somehow – you only made it go under UK media ground.

  21. 32
    Cameron is a kunt says:

    Suicide note left by elderly woman who couldn’t afford bedroom tax. David Cameron, reducing the elderly population one suicide at a time.

    • 40
      Mr Pedant says:

      53 is not ‘elderly’.

      • 44
        Cameron is a kunt says:

        Ok, not elderly. Still a disgrace. Meanwhile, Cameron’s rabble continue to pump billions to the EU and in aid to nuclear powers like India.

    • 49
      another peed aunt says:

      The suicide note just labelled ‘government’.
      It does not specify which party should bear the brunt of her blame.

    • 106
      fabianophobia says:

      Selective compassion syndrome:

      1200 dead in mid-Staffs hospital fiasco = fabians don’t give a toss
      1 manic depressive blames tories for this vale of tears = fabians tremble with outrage

    • 120
      Anonymous says:

      she should have given up the fags…

  22. 33
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    He’s not the only dodgy FibDem.

  23. 34
    John Tandy says:

    Politicans just dont get it do they? On the Sunday Politics Show yesterday the political pundits were deriding the Tory’s for being apparently obsessed with the EU which they claimed was merely No 10 on the list of votors concerns. Dont they understand that immigration is the number one concern with British people and until we leave the EU we can never control that. The 450.000 Rumanians and Bulgarians now packing to come to the UK later this year, which we cannot stop, due to EU regulations, underlines my point. Thus you cannot seperate the EU from Immigration the UK electorates No 1 concern. Hence the rise of UKIP.

    • 41
      Outrageous says:

      The pundits deliberately don’t get it

    • 69
      UKIP or bust says:

      The EU has nothing to do with the Dark Continent or Asia, and round where I live that’s what we have been getting by the proverbial boat load.

    • 70
      Vote Tory, get heir to Blair says:

      Why should anyone be obsessed about Europe? I mean just because most of our laws are made there and we give away £55million a day that could be far better spent on British folk and we have no control over our borders is no reason to question the dubious benefits of being in the EU.

    • 78
      Lord Stansted says:

      The solution is simple: vote UKIP.

  24. 47
    Alf Garnett says:

    A bloody great ball and chain, or gyves and manacles, would better fit the bill for this slippery malefactor.

    • 57
      Secret Admirer says:

      Nice to hear from you again Alf. West Ham are missing your support nowadays.

      Alas the PC Beeb never seems to broadcast repeats of your helpful and informative views. A pity, because Slotgob could do with the royalties that would be due to her now.

      Best regards to the Moo.

      • 105
        Star Wars is crap, Star Trek is the Daddy says:

        UP THE ‘AMMERS an’ all that.

        Swans did a diplomatic loss to Man U yesterday, didn’t they, 2-1? WELL, we ‘ad to give ‘em that, didn’t we, otherwise the Premier League would be on our bleeding backs, telling us we spoiled Alex’s proper sending off at home, innit?

  25. 48
    Vicky Pryce says:

    I can’t go back to my old career, so I suppose I’ll have to make a living as a scarecrow.

    • 65
      Anonymous says:

      Or perhaps an extra on the walking dead.

    • 91
      The BBC says:

      Don’t be despondent Vicky…..a career in broadcasting beckons…we have plenty of vacancies for any commentator that has an anti-Tory bias

      • 134
        Job Centre Plus says:

        Plenty of jobs going:

        Top Of The Nonces, Points On View, and It’s A Cock-Out. Pointless.
        Dr Huhne. The Week-In Clink. The HUHNE Show.
        Huhnes Under The Slammer.

    • 104
      Maurice Minor says:

      There’s a slot available on ‘Embarassing Bodies’

  26. 50
    Chris Huhne says:

    Gissa job.

  27. 51
    Maurice Minor says:

    I heard a rumour that the Romanians and Bulgarians are coming here to help!

    They have offered to take up all the spare bedrooms so as to alleviate the suffering of the poor unemployed Brits, they think £20.00 per week for a room is very reasonable considering they’ll be able to fit 12 in. This will leave the average incomer with a good £20,000.00 pa in benefits.

    Good deal all round then…

  28. 54
    Stuart Hall says:

    The beeb protected me and Jimmy Savile when we got our knobout!

  29. 55
    Shit and fan says:

    So the woman was advising Gordon on Money and the man advising Dave on energy.

  30. 56
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Pryce or Huhne – which one is on Newsnight first commenting on the Tories EU problems?

    • 122
      BBC executive says:

      We’ve already commissioned two 36-part series-
      World renowned expert Vicky Pryce will be presenting one on economics and environmental expert Chris Huhne on green energy. There will be unlimited coverage on Radio 4 Today programme and glossy books accompanying each series.

  31. 62
    Steve says:


  32. 64
    Dan Hodges says:

    LOL Owen”Three Buttocks” Jones slagging off hard-working over-exploited British workers but he’s well funny and garbles his sentences LERRRRGEEND ROFL.

  33. 68
    Kiss n Tell says:

    Chris was picked up by his mum and dad. Has the man woman Carina done a runner?

    • 79
      Vote Tory, get heir to Blair says:

      It seems it was a bad time of the month for her bi-cycle.

      • 135
        Red Ed's Kerbside Rescue says:

        If she fell off I can get there quickly to help out. I can adjust mudguards, brake blocks and polish her saddle.

  34. 71
    Sir William Waad says:

    Who is it meant to be?

    • 115
      Phallacy of the undistributed middle says:

      You are making an assumption here which may not turn out to be the case.

  35. 72
    Maurice Minor says:

  36. 75
    Owin Jones says:

    Owen Jones on twitter: What gives them the god given right to have a spare bedroom? These people MUST move!

    • 92
      Dan Hodges says:

      poor you, Owen Jones,you’re toast !!

  37. 76
    Vote Tory, get heir to Blair says:

    It was a bad time of the month for her bi-cycle.

  38. 80
    One Term Dave says:

    It’s great being here in the US of A pretending to be a World Statesman, sorting out Global Problems and doing High Fives with Barack. He says that if we leave the EU he won’t have me here anymore because I won’t be important enough and I’ll have to concentrate on boring domestic politics instead.

    • 88
      Dave the World Stateman says:

      Forget about domestic UK politics and the Westminster Bubble… the self-proclaimed “Heir to Blair” I need to do some networking on my post-leadership employment and salary package stateside after all the EU is a non starter

  39. 81
    Vote Tory, get heir to Blair says:

    Will he be turning a new leaf and going straight – as his new girlfriend?

  40. 82
    Just a Thought says:

    The courts sentence this pair to 8 months custody and they serve only 8 weeks?? They pervert the course of justice in the most high profile case of its sort (by of the two most famous members of the metropolitan elite) and their sentence was to send out a signal to deter future silimlar offending!

    The actual time served will not deter others from trying it on and the matter of swapping speeding points will become epidemic….

    The courts must be spitting feathers at this news, what value do we place on purposes of sentencing (Criminal Justice Act 2003)???

    • 94
      The Parish Proctor says:

      If he returns to our Parish then I’m afraid his sin will need further expiation. This normally takes the form of a Parish Boundary Beating (all members of the Parish are allowed one sound blow each to the Penitent as he walks barefoot around the Parish boundary. He then has to fast for 10 days and is branded on the forehead with a M for malefactor. After this he’ll be allowed to take Holy Communion.

  41. 84
    err says:

    surely the tag is wrong for this post ?

  42. 89
    Grimy Miner says:

    “Huhne to help prisoners go straight after ‘crash course’ in life inside

    Chris Huhne, the disgraced former energy secretary, is considering a new career helping prisoners rehabilitate and find work after he is released from jail tomorrow.”

    The fucking cockroach should scuttle back under the stone he crawled out from and keep out of public gaze. He is a fucking parasite, a nonce, a disgrace to humanity.

  43. 93
    Maurice Minor says:

    Is our iPad in his bag?

  44. 96
    David Cameron says:


  45. 97
    Ivan2034 says:

    Meanwhile the teenager who made some dumb comments on Facebook or where ever during the riots, sits in prison serving out his 4 year sentence

  46. 98
    Star Wars is crap, Star Trek is the Daddy says:

    Chris with his band,

  47. 99
    Even Jimmy Tarbuck's funnier than this shite, and he's about as funny as a burning orphanage as Bernard Manning was fond of saying says:

    The key to humour is brevity and subtlety. The problem with these cartoons is that they always explain the joke they’re making when it’s completely unnecessary. In this one, it could’ve been a mildly amusing cartoon had it ended on the punchline about him being a Lib Dem. But the line about it being a precaution is not only superfluous, it killed any potential for a laugh. It’s the equivalent of showing a table and saying underneath it “this is a table”.

    • 121
      Outrageous says:

      Thatnk you Professor Jokes

      • 132
        Crappy Cartoons says:

        He/she is right, however. These cartoons always start with an unfunny premise and then spend 500 words reducing it to vanishing point.

        Most children would do better.

  48. 100
    Sane person says:

    If this is the case it makes a nonsense of the sentencing system. A judge awards 8 months in jail, but don’t worry it only means 2 months

  49. 102
    Silverthread says:

    Well, that will save the tax payer some money. Good riddance I say. They will write their books, become consultants for one or other shady corporation and make millions out of it. Prison never did Archer any harm. They refuse to pay the full outstanding costs and charges, probably because they know how that money will be squandered by Osborne on yet another white elephant.

  50. 103

    Great to see the One rule for them , one rule for the rest of us is still in place
    Chris Huhne denied he was guilty all the way upto his trial , and she decided plead not guilty
    Cut’s in sentence only apply , if you plead guilty at the earliest opportunity and it’s only half your sentence , NOT three quarters , yet these two walk out after a few weeks
    Watch them emerge on every bloody TV programme on the box , then they will both end up with highly paid jobs in the penal reform sector , on some quango or charity

  51. 109
    Bobbed knob says:

    Do they still call a short sentence a “shit and a shave”. ?

  52. 111
    chingwu says:

    Dave’s always on holiday when there’s ‘trouble at mill’ brewing

  53. 116
    CHRIS HUHNE 6714512 E wing HMP Wandswoth hotel says:

    After 9 weeks Karina will be gagging for it !

    Can i not go back in and serve the rest of my sentence ?

  54. 123
    Isn't that right, Lady says:

    He should have stayed an MP. Many of them have longer breaks without turning up ,in the Commons

  55. 130
    Anjin says:

    Don’t give up the day job. This cartoonist is shit.

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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