May 8th, 2013

Labour Expenses Piggy Tries to Run Again

Expenses trougher and Labour’s former Enfield North MP Joan Ryan has some nerve. In a letter to her local Labour Party seen by Guido, Ryan begs them for her support, saying she wants to run again in 2015: “we have to select the best candidate to win for Labour in Endfield North… now I’m asking for your support to become Labour’s parliamentary candidate”. Apparently with a straight face, she insists “had it not been for the changes to parliamentary boundaries we would still have a Labour MP in Enfield North”.

Definitely nothing to do with the fact that during the expenses scandal Ryan was exposed as having claimed £4,500 for work on her second home, having to pay back over £5,000 in mortgage interest the following year. Her wikipedia page was mysteriously edited at least ten times from inside the parliamentary estate in an attempt to remove details of her expenses indiscretions. For some reason no mention of any of this in Ryan’s letter. And certainly no apology. Her local party have given her short shrift so far, the final selection meeting is tomorrow…

UPDATE: Ryan’s ex-agent Chris Deacon has come out against her plans for a return:

“I think the membership feels that for us to win we need a fresh, new candidate to take the party forward.”


  1. 1
    Tory voter says:

    Any MP who had to repay money should be permanently barred from Parliament.

    Might leave it quite empty.

  2. 2
    Herman Van Aerial Disease says:

    Hear hear.. snouts in troughs need not apply.. Labour full of useless lying scumbag politicos with no fucking morals.. Margaret Moran too.. awful Stuart Hall is Labour scum too.

  3. 3

    14 miles?! I hope she claimed travel expenses too…

  4. 4
    Take your Joyce says:

    The best candidate to run for “Endfield North” should know that Enfield has no D in it.

  5. 5
    The BBC are cunts says:

    I’m sorry, we can’t find any record of this wonderful Libor MP having been an expenses trougher.

  6. 6
    Welcome to Fail. Population: You. says:

    All of the LabLibCon are infected.

    The HOC is a degenerates meeting place, where dysfunctional parasites, liars and perverts gather and cook up ever more spiteful methods of ripping off the people, they are supposed to represent.

  7. 7
    Dick the Prick says:

    She’s a shoe in! Bit over qualified, really.

  8. 8
    Owen Jones says:


  9. 9
    Will says:

    one hopes they do select her as while he has a 1,692 majority, having to run against her would be easy as he could say legally she is not fit for office.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Would help if she could spell Enfield

  11. 11
    Bazinga! says:

    Fuck me the one eyed twat from Fife will be back next.

  12. 12
    Maggs Moron says:

    I wish to announce my candidature.
    If I am successful I assure you I can make a miraculous recovery from my illness.

  13. 13
    Jim says:

    This little piggy should be IN JAIL.

  14. 14
    Ernest Saunders says:

    Brava! Good luck, gal.

  15. 15
    Whatever she says:

    Are you aware of the extent of postal voting being used as a mechanism for facilitating ballot rigging in London?

  16. 16
    Nigel Evans says:

    Oooh, after a hard day’s troughing, I like to slip down to a massage parlour to relax, ducky.

  17. 17
    Yankee Go Home says:


  18. 18
    Running with the Trots says:

    What an unapologetic trougher. Typical Labour they never acknowledge mistakes or apologise for them. Utterly disgraceful lack of integrity.

  19. 19
    q says:

    what’s happened to maria miller’s expenses?
    how long does it take to hide theft of public money in this government?

  20. 20
    Will says:

    that is a massive problem and why a judge described it as a practice that would disgrace a banana republic.

    I think that’s an insult to banana republics as they are much better run than some places we have in the uk.

  21. 21

    Is she standing for Bell-Endfield?

  22. 22
    LOL says:

    I’d like to nominate this comment from the previous thread about Dennis Skinner as comment of the day:

    He’s a complete fucking bellend Labour tribalist, a fucking nasty scumbag of a kneejerk Lefty arsewipe representing a town full of fucking inbred fucking dolescum who would elect a milkchurn full of rancid gorilla sperm provided it had a red rosette stuck on it.

  23. 23
    press sense says:

    David Cameron has, after today’s successful Queen’s Speech, announced that today will be ‘Manchester United’ day. In an interview this afternoon he claimed that we are all ‘ United fans now’

  24. 24
    I hate Blue Labour says:

    Labour are daft enough to reselect her though.

  25. 25
    Nick says:

    The real worry is the amount of blarites getting re – elected!

  26. 26
    Pearl Neclesse says:

    Yes it’s at the end..

    That said,,she is still a Bint.

  27. 27
    Why not? says:


  28. 28
    Spinal Damaged says:

    She wants to run for Labour again after being caught with her grubby hand in the till? No apology whatsoever. What an odious, troughing bitch.

  29. 29
    Social Media Guru says:

    #NoShame #LabourCan’tApologise #WasteIsNormalForThem

  30. 30
    Down Shep says:

    My quote of the day is in Seen Elsewhere top right, it’s a classic:
    “Massage Parlour Say They Didn’t Bruise Nigel Evans | Times”

  31. 31
    bergen says:

    It must be wonderful to have no sense of shame at all.

  32. 32
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    So she proves the theory that Labour MPs are not worth a shite to any other employer in the real world.

  33. 33
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    nasty enough, more like

  34. 34
    I was Hitlers Ball boy says:

    Mind you don’t bruise your head again.

  35. 35
    Mike 'the cock' Handycock says:

    I am very ill.
    But if I lose my seat I will also suddenly be available.

  36. 36
    sick of 'em says:

    don’t forget maria miller’s expenses as highlighted in the press in december last year, which is still on going, even though she claims, as usual, she did nothing wrong and despite cameron’s heavy mob trying to stop the telegraph publishing, we are still waiting on the outcome

    funny that the tories protect their own little devils but don’t have time for anyone else …..

  37. 37
    I was Hitlers Ball boy says:

    And that is putting it mildly

  38. 38
    Ed Balls :Donkey bollocks lasagne recipe. says:

    I am hiding in the kitchen and I have donated my testicles to my lasagne. Lord Arsecroft is invited for dinner.

  39. 39
    Owin Jones says:

    Go move to Cuba if you want socialism. And leave Britain, you anti-capitalist vermin

  40. 40
    Tony Blair says:

    ” Alex Ferguson the people’s Princess”

  41. 41
    Edward. says:

    God, I don’t care about Joan Ryan – hasn’t someone, anyone[!!] got an inkling – some clue, an idea, as to the size of Tony and Cherie’s lavish expenses?
    Surely that parsimonious scrawny bag of s&*7 and ex artiste de boisson – Alaistair has an idea?

    They must have been astronomical – shame all the chittys fell into the paper mincer – what a jolly decent ‘slice’ of luck that was!

  42. 42
    neitherdeadnoralive says:

    Substitute “She’s” for “He’s”, and you’ve got South Shields.

  43. 43
    Jocularity says:

    No. He’s off to Manchester United. A done deal for the ‘gormless one’.

  44. 44
    Brainwashing Bull Cock!- BBC says:

    She is very welcome to plant her arse on any of the sofas in the BBC studios.

  45. 45
    ONE RUB DOWN says:

    We said ” we not use hammer, we use finga”

  46. 46
    Lord Stansted says:

    the big house

  47. 47
    ONE RUB DOWN says:

    We massage with special chop-sticks

  48. 48
    I was Ed Balls' Hitler Boy says:

    Fair and remarkably balanced in context.

  49. 49
    Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:


  50. 50
    Lord Stansted says:

    or Lee-Enfield?

  51. 51
    Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

    I’d have said 10-11 miles.

  52. 52
    Jimmy Savile, from beyond the grave says:

    Children’s BBC… mmm….

  53. 53
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    errrrrr EX MP !!!!

    errrrr you been going through the bins again Guido

  54. 54
    Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

    Don’t give us ideas.

  55. 55
    Ed Miliblunder says:

    Equality is absolute? Utter bullcock. You cannot treat a blind person and a seeing person equally. You have to treat each person differently in order to achieve a varying degree of equality. Equality is relative to a person’s needs & circumstances.

  56. 56
    Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

    I thought it was a bit vague, even ambiguous. It would help if people made their opinions a bit clearer.

  57. 57
    Ed Miliblunder says:

    IMF is in town. What a deluded Hunt Miliblunder is.

  58. 58
    Point of information says:

    If equality was an absolute we would all be the same.

    We are not all the same: Evolution would not function without it.

    In fact asymmetry arguably is responsible for the the universe being the way it is.

    Ed talks absolute rubbish: Now that is proved.

  59. 59
  60. 60
    Down Shep says:

    The use of implements is usually negotiable (so I hear).

  61. 61
    Philosophical Propaganda says:

    How then can one celebrate ‘diversity’ if equality is an ‘absolute’ ?

    Ed has just exposed the racist flaw at the heart of modern collectivist multi-culturalism.

    Get ready for the coming mean reversion.

  62. 62
    UKIP or bust says:

    The Lock

  63. 63
    Gobby one got the boot says:

    Ha ha!

  64. 64
    Ed Miliblunder says:

    Good point. Student politics with Ed Miliblunder.

  65. 65
    Labour Piggy says:

    Please please please let me get my snout back in the trough.

  66. 66
    Ed Miliblunder says:

    Labour bent on an anti smoking fascist policy.

  67. 67
    Wyle Cop says:

    Once upon a time, an MP caught frequenting massage parlours would be monstered by the media and the people and then drummed out of office.

    Now, the Deputy Speaker finds it quite normal to prance and preen about caked in makeup to hide a dubious scar, having just been interviewed by the Rozzers on suspicion of ‘the other’.

    Have standards really dropped so low?

  68. 68
    UKIP or bust says:

    Did he and ferguson do a deal in a chip shop?

  69. 69
    Sarah Ferguson says:

    No, that would be me. They still love me out there.

  70. 70
    a non says:

    Thought Len McCluskey was going to play striker?

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    yes MP = Morals-bereft Parasite

  72. 72
    . says:

    The slammer

  73. 73
    A legend (Bernard, that is, not Rancid) says:

  74. 74
    Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

    So how did he get that cut to the forehead ? Looks like a pretty strange massage.

    Looks more like the result of a fight, the sort of man fight that might get reported to the police and which they would have to investigate ?

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    does nigel’s boyfriend wear a bellystud by any chance? only saying.

  76. 76
    Ed Miliblunder says:

    Absolute equality bullcock is typical of the Labour Party’s One dumb nation mindset. No room for diversity or difference of opinion. Uniform thinking is crucial to its survival. Propaganda guff which keeps the unions in business.

  77. 77
    . says:

    or Harry Enfield

  78. 78
    A legend (Bernard, that is, not Rancid) says:

    This is the same Esther Rancid who didn’t say anything about what was going on at the BBC for 40 years. Bitch.

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    Ryan .. Miller .. Moran .. they are all the bloody same

  80. 80
    Down Shep says:

    Looking forward to him now putting something down on his blank piece of paper, now that he has expounded his philosophy, we will all earn exactly the same wage and live in exactly the same houses. I’ll settle for £65,000 a year and all found Ed, but I doubt that, that kind of equality is what you had in mind.

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    The Tories are now in disaray, if they lurch right then the Libs will undermine them and break the coalition but if they carry on as they are then they don’t have a prayer in 2015 Whatever you may think of Ferage he has done Cameron up like a kipper. A Kipper done up by a UKIPPER, Cameron with his arrogant sneering and fruitcake jibes has now been made to look a laughing stock and whats more ANY promises he makes or laws for after 2015 will be seen for what they are simply an electioneering ploy. NO ONE BELIEVES A WORD HE UTTERS and that is his acilles heel, he has blown it big time.

  82. 82
    Anonymous says:

    Guidos comment pages used to be witty and informative. Now they are full of stupid remarks from perverts.

  83. 83
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:


    Chokey !!!

  84. 84
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:



  85. 85
    Pandora Spankingham-Wopp says:

    I understand there was general relief that it only involved those old enough to give consent.

  86. 86
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    I once WALKED 14 miles from central london to suburbia after I missed/ pissed the last tube in the days buses did not run at night .

    What s the problem ??

    Has she not got legs ??

  87. 87
    Police says:

    Crime figures down.

    We are following the German precedent of counting the h o l o c a u s t
    as one.

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    Ha Ha! stupid comment, Cameron will get in again in 2015, everybody is sick of Milliband and the rest of the ideas free zone that is Labour.Plus they will be pig sick of our nige gurning at the camera and spouting saga coach party rubbish by then !

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    I suppose they asked you but you turned them down !

  90. 90
    Another Headshrinker says:

    Troughing skanky communist whore bitch!

  91. 91
    Westminster's crawling with them says:

    What you need Nigel, is the Edward II treatment.

  92. 92
    Ed Miliblunder goes viral. says:

    David Blunkett is still supporting ID cards for immigrants. FFs? Are ID cards foolproof? Labour is certainly not fool proof.

  93. 93
  94. 94
    Down Shep says:

    Maybe Child Line was the symptom of a guilty conscience.

  95. 95
    Mike 'the cock' Handycock says:

    Do you think that has anything to do with the fact he is on the board of the I.D card provider?

  96. 96
    I was Hitlers Ball boy says:

    Old Chokey

  97. 97
    Lizzy Borden says:

    Nigel asked for 40 whacks, but stopped moaning after just one.

  98. 98
    I was Hitlers Ball boy says:

    In the nick

  99. 99
    I was Hitlers Ball boy says:

    Banged up

  100. 100
    Pandora Spankingham-Wopp says:

    The voters of Enfield really know how to pick them. She was succeeded by Nick (the dick) de Bois – who made the Mail for claiming £60 for a taxi ride to his constituency from Westminster – tubes and buses not good enough eh?

  101. 101
    green ink says:

    cannot accept what you say anon… the truth is the electorate tends to vote with their pockets and the days of thinking the labour party are going to help ordinary working family are long gone. The Tories have always had to clear up the economic shitfeists the socialists create and two years is a long time. Ukip will not allign with the labour party.. nor I believe with the libdems..they are by and large dissaffected tories and given a choice of routes to power that will always be their natural inclination. Should that accomodation compel David Cameron to move on after the next election that may be a price that must be paid to secure the country’s future prosperity.

  102. 102
    Pandora Spankingham-Wopp says:

    Substitute blue, righty and Tory for red, lefty and Labour and it is an excellent summary of Zac ‘airmiles’ Goldsmith. Skinner deserves everything he is hit with but it is the slimy hypocrisy of Goldsmith (I’m green as long as it does not apply to me) that deserves most condemnation.

  103. 103
    Viv L'Amour says:

    Je prefere “oublietted” moi.

  104. 104
    Viv L'Amour says:

    Righty ho. Ideas now needed urgently to help the Libdums “break’ the Coalition.

  105. 105
    Viv L'Amour says:

    usually not more than 15 seconds.

  106. 106
    Down Shep says:

    Who is going to check the details, his dog?.

  107. 107
    Viv L'Amour says:

    Dead right. Just ignore everything they say – and put them all on the first plane out.

  108. 108
    Viv L'Amour says:

    Labour bent – all you need to say really as we know the rest.

  109. 109
    Wayne's World says:


  110. 110
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Agree. It’s not healthy to bottle these things up. Spit it out, man!

  111. 111
    His Nibs says:

    The Queen Elizabeth Hotel

  112. 112
    Eyes wide open says:

    Joan Ryan should be barred from running ever again as an MP because she’s shit.

  113. 113
    Glen 'Spin Al Damage' Campbell says:

    I am a rancid cowboy oooh ooh. Picking up parasites from people I don’t even know.
    I am a rancid cowboy oooh ooh.
    Meeting socialist morons & leeches wherever I go. Now it is end of the show!

  114. 114
    Eye spy a leeching scam that will run & run says:

    He held up his ID card in parliament. No one had the heart to tell him it was upside like his ideas are.

  115. 115
    Eye spy a leeching scam that will run & run says:

    Time for these pigs at the trough Labour scammers to skuttle back to the stone that they crawled from. Utter scum.

  116. 116
    ratso says:

    This lady should turn,,,on a spit roast !!!

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