May 8th, 2013

Hain Bashes Balls

The tension from Labour’s underwhelming performance at the locals last week is boiling over. Last night Peter Hain comically denied he was firing a broadside against Ed Balls for not pulling his weight:

It was described by the Guardian as a ‘coded attack’, but now the full piece in Progress is out, the word coded looks like a massive understatement:

“Labour’s Treasury team need to get out on the stump now and work even harder. It shouldn’t just be left to Ed and Harriet to carry the heavy load, whether on the World at One, the Today programme or anywhere else.”

If that is a ‘coded attack’, then bring on the open fireworks. Ever the master of subtly, Hain is so loyal to Miliband, Guido doubts he rumbled Macavity Balls without permission. Though worth remembering the lecture is coming from someone who quit the Shadow Cabinet to make some money…


  1. 1
    Hang The Bostards says:

    Death cry’s of a party that didnt listen to the electorate

  2. 2
    Nothing Better To Do says:

    “Though worth remembering the lecture is coming from someone who quit the Shad Cab to make some money”

    If you’re looking for a politician that isn’t a money grabbing, two faced, back stabbing sh1t to deliver a lecture to Balls it could be a long, hard search.

  3. 3
    Owen Jones says:

    My heroic fight with the fascists on Twitter last night, will one day hold the same political significance as the Battle of Cable Street. x

  4. 4
    Tango Ognat says:

    Isn’t it time Gain went back to Africa? Overstayed welcome and all.

  5. 5
    Guthrie says:

    Has Ed got the strength to sack Ed Balls?

    This is like a student production of Blair vs Balls.

  6. 6
    Indigenous Balls says:

    At least Balls is British. Unlike Miliband and Hain.

  7. 7
    The future's orange says:

    I’m doing lunch with Tony today to discuss spray-tan tips.

  8. 8
    Social Media Guru says:

    #EdBalls #Winning #Kinnock #NoCodeNeededTheyAreCrap

  9. 9
  10. 10
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    So where has Hain been for the last 2 years, orange man himself seems to have been keeping a rather low profile.

  11. 11
    Chris Bryant says:

    No body wants to debate with me today!!!!

  12. 12
    V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

    I can’t see that happening, he’s part of the enriched, diverse multicultural UK cesspit establishment.

  13. 13

    There must be some cricket pitches out there which need some TLC.

  14. 14
    Magic 8 Ball says:

    Hah… nice try for a bit of a pooh stir.

    All Hain is saying’s that, although it is tempting to crow about having won the argument on ‘too fast, too deep’ it is time to present solutions to the current flat-lining econmy.

  15. 15
    Not costed costs says:

    Of course when a lefty says an immigrant contributes more than he takes. They ignore all the freebies that he gets for him and his family.

    To name a few: Education, Healthcare, Council services, welfare, legal aid, police and the BBC.

    Wonder what the true costs of one immigrant family to provide. 1 cheap carehome carer are.

  16. 16
    bergen says:

    Yes.The old Marxist comment of tragedy repeating itself as farce.

  17. 17

    That word progress again.

    In Labour speech it has come to mean the exact opposite of what it used to.

  18. 18
    Ed Balls super fan says:

    Blair & Hain should stop spouting this nonsense.

    It’s not their era now.

    The futures bright, the future is Ed Balls.

  19. 19
    Living in 97.1% white Merseyside says:

    Are you referring to the UAF Owen?

    Or was it the SWP?

  20. 20
    Labourunionsbbc are one under the EU says:

    The south african man knows a thing or two about “Advance Mischief-making “, perhaps he’s forgotten how he slid out of his own country – when he saw there was no future for a white slime ball in politics there – and into ours by digging up a cricket pitch to get himself noticed and into the anti-British party.

  21. 21
    Living in 97.1% white Merseyside says:

    Like Tone had the strength to sack Gordo!

  22. 22
    Eunuch says:

    Say NO to Balls.

  23. 23
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    How much are you paying for the privilege of dining with the unmentionable one?

  24. 24
    Richmond Bank Robber says:

    He’s been mining for government funding for ‘alternative energy’ initiatives, on behalf of crony corporations and other milkers of the public teat.

  25. 25
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Every male has to have balls other wise they would not be male

  26. 26
    Lord Stansted says:

    or perhaps typewriter ribbons that need a good home.

  27. 27
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    I wonder if he would be welcome in his own country today

  28. 28
    open up. says:

    no…is….9…. it is Glo….BULL.
    say 9 to 4.
    13 is 4.
    4 is equidistant 4rum itself.
    4rum was all about warmth.
    the d.are is b.on.d.
    the gentleman prefers blond.

  29. 29
  30. 30
    Dave says:

    Bollocks I could have announced anything I wanted today with Furguson retiring.

  31. 31
    queens speech says:

    more racism
    more bigotry
    more thatcherism
    more fascism
    more venal, vile tory propaganda

    we’re all in it together

  32. 32
    Lord Stansted says:

    A cogent summary of event. Excellent.

  33. 33
    Putney Job says:

    Mr Hain is a valued member of the Orange community.

    We need more Orange people in politics if Britain is to be an inclusive vibrant country.

  34. 34
    Something the government don't want you to know says:

    A government statistic: 50% of ALL M*s**m males and 75% of ALL M*s**m females have NEVER worked and live entirely on benefits.

  35. 35
    Eddie Millitwitt says:

    I’m as British as my papa was Belgian and my grandpapa Polish.

  36. 36
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    To be fair to the Millibands they are a mixture from all over the place, a bit like mixture that makes up Boris Johnson, you know, a bit of this and a bit of that and a bit of the other.

  37. 37
    useful idiot says:

    and yet we celebrate UKIP, a country determined to drive us back to the 1950s

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    A man prepared to accept anonymous donations,what does that say,they could have been from anybody…… Ir ey, alkida…..anyone,politically stupid if nothing else

  39. 39
    Steve Miliband says:

    Labour = Welfare Party

  40. 40
    Raving Loon says:

    No more Fergie.

  41. 41
    Just a Thought says:

    As much as I dislike the effect of the cuts in some public spending areas I do feel there needed to be a rebalancing. We need to get total public spending nearer to 40% of GDP rather than 50%.

    Private money will invest in tangible public assets which add to the growth multiplier effect on GDP; roads, rail, communications infrastructure. Simply reducing VAT will only have a short term impact and would amount to a waste of public money.

    Public money is like blood, it can affect both work or play…

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    Is that true ? Oh that’s right reporters haven’t bothered to find out

  43. 43
    David Cameron says:

    I do hope you’re not suggesting I’m not male. I have children you know.

  44. 44
    Steve Miliband says:

    Man U supporters will be crying into their Granola all over London this morning

  45. 45
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    “we’re all in it together” Dave Boy has stopped using that one, it worked for a time but has realised folks have got wise.

  46. 46
    Billy Big says:

    Nuffin wrong with a bit of the uvver!!!!

  47. 47
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

  48. 48
    Doh! says:

    “British family charged £54 for four ice creams in Rome”

    British family must be twats for getting charged £54 for four ice creams in Rome

  49. 49

    Your sentence does not even make sense. Had you intended to say party?

    Left Foot Forward is determined to drive us back to the 1950s today
    UKIP: dumbed down Powellism q.v.:

    What a shower!

  50. 50
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Steve, the Cons also give largesse to big business subsidies to this and to that , rate free for 10 years, then they move on to get a new rate free location, small establish businesses do not have the clout, then we get the tale that such a business if it moves to such a location (usually of high unemployment) it will create 100’s of jobs.

  51. 51

    Yоur sentence dоes nоt even make sense. Had yоu іntended tо say party?

    Left Fооt Fоrward іs determіned tо drіve us back tо the 1950s tоday
    UKІP: dumbed dоwn Pоwellіsm q.v.:


    What a shоwer!

  52. 52
    Robin Banks says:

    I did not see Peter Hain at the alleged time

  53. 53
    Football beats politics says:

    only one story today now

    Sir Alex Ferguson:
    26 Years
    13 Premier League Titles
    10 Community Shields
    5 FA Cups
    4 League Cups
    2 European Cups
    1 Piece of Chewing Gum

  54. 54
    useful idiot says:

    it doesn’t does it. i’ve had a shocker cat.

  55. 55
    Civilised Person says:


  56. 56
    Magic 8 Ball says:

    Has he stopped going on about ‘The Big Society’ too?

    I was very much interested to hear more about that idea.

  57. 57

    Never mind.

    Sid James would have been 100 today.

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    Subtly – what word is this ???

  59. 59
    Care in the community crank alert says:

    If you knew what you were talking about, I would take you seriously and answer you seriously.

    As you clearly do not have a clue what you are ranting about, I’ll leave you to fester in your own idiotic bile.

  60. 60
    DIY man says:

    Thanks for the timely reminder. My fence needs creosote treatment.

  61. 61
    Gordon the Medicated says:

    Application for position of manager at Manchester United Wednesday.

    I have great financial acumen and could easily continue Manchester Rovers debt spiral.
    I know how to take an asset, Like gold or Eric Djemba-Djemba, and sell them for much less than they were bought for.

    I can shout and stamp and sulk and punch players in the face or give them a good battering with a hand dryer.

    And as for 26 years of a proven winning ability ?..ahh..erm…ahh..well..

  62. 62
    Steve Miliband says:

    State funded Motability? Understand that under PIP you may actually have to have a disability to qualify.

  63. 63
    Gormless Gordon says:

    Wait until they find out I’ve got the job!

  64. 64
    Spicks 1 -- Thicko Brits 0 says:

    All that means is ONE VERY THICK BRITISH FAMILY.

  65. 65
    UKIP Bore says:

    Liblabcon…traitor…full up…scum…they’re trying to gag…the establishment…never again…call me dave…Nigel’s wife is German…quisling…Frankfurt school…they’re afraid of us…genocide of the British people

  66. 66
    Rocking Horse says:

    Don’t forget your prudence and phone hurling skills.

  67. 67
    Village Idiot says:

    Does he still look like Cuprinol????

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    Why should Cameron appoint Farage to cabinet ? he is hardly genius material, and they did only get 147 local council seats.The way the media have greeted their showing in local elections, you would think they were MPs they had gained,they still have NO MPs !

  69. 69
    Big Fuck off Car Franchise. says:

    No that’s just a rumour. Our experienced sales teams will make sure that your motability paper work is all in order and meets current criteria. Disability not required.

  70. 70
    Rock on Nigel says:

    Perhaps because Farage is supported by the British people and labour by their foreign imports?

  71. 71

    Good news for our host: Sunlight is good for you:

  72. 72
    Miliways..The restaurant at the end of the Universe. says:

    Not really. Their lineage is pretty straight.

  73. 73
    Brown out & pay me damages. Respect my legal rights. says:

    What is the point? Balls has no decent economic policies anyway. You can’t turn shit into sugar. It is just crap.

  74. 74
    Sherlock says:

    Request to investigative journo,s,.Please investigate the m**l*m claim made by the above,before we start spouting untruths,and draw attention to this claim.(ammunition please,metaphorical)

  75. 75
    An even better thought says:

    Nearer 25% of GDP would be far healthier.

    Private investment only if subsidy / rigged market / monopoly service provider, free.

    Abolish VAT altogether, it’s an EU tax that has no benefit, it distorts cost and drives down economic activity.

    Cut Gideon’s hands off if he still insistes on borrowing / printing £120 billion a year we don’t have.

  76. 76
    Anonymous says:

    What happened? Fergie was relishing a challenge with Jose M.

  77. 77
    Dave Spartacus says:

    Too late.

  78. 78
    The Sound of LabLibCon Lying Shysters Quietly Crapping Themselves says:

    Getting worried? You should be.

  79. 79
    Dave Spartacus says:

    I assume you’re addressing No. 31 and not Mr Creosote, though that would be equally apt.

  80. 80
    UKIP Bore says:

    they’re afraid of us

  81. 81
    ...And Another Thing says:

    Apparently, a mans nether regions go a bit brown over time with the aging process.

    So its now definitely ” Macavity Brown Balls

  82. 82
    Prime Mentalist Brown says:

    Today, I will be coco the clown with a blonde wig and taking the dogs a jog while snorting heroin then guzzling lighter fuel.

  83. 83
    Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

    You’re also as treacherous as your ancestors. Treachery runs in your family like writing through a stick of rock.

  84. 84
    Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

    If being genius material were a criterion for politics, there’d be about zero ppoliticians anywhere.

  85. 85
    Toonloon with a spoon says:

    He’s the bloke that constantly shouts at the officials and one of the few at the ground who have never kicked a single ball in the winning of all those titles.

    That’s why he got his OBE – Other Buggers’ Efforts.

    Plus, he should be reported to the FA for fielding an understrength team against Chelsea last week. Disrespecting the ambitions of other teams still fighting for things important to to them. He would certainly not have fielded such a weak side had it been only the third match of the season instead of the third from the end. Football is well rid of him.

  86. 86
    Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

    And of the ones who HAVE worked, how many have worked in the private sector?

  87. 87
    Toonloon with a spoon says:

    No, it was the SWI – Stepney Women’s Institute

  88. 88
    Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

    Well, he shows no sign of wantimng to go back.

  89. 89
    Toonloon with a spoon says:

    Is that warrant for bank robbery still valid?

  90. 90
    Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

    When I saw a headline that they’ve announced the route for their parade with the Prem trophy, my first thjought was that must be the same route as the London Marathon.

  91. 91
    Matilda says:

    Have you considered emulating him and doing us all a huge favour?

  92. 92
    Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

    If someone tried to take the piss out of me like that, I’d be looking in my phrase book for the Italian for “Go fcuk yourself.”

  93. 93
    The Refs and Linespersons' Union says:

    Peace in our time!

  94. 94
    Matilda says:

    What cuts?

  95. 95
    Matilda says:

    You got geography ‘A’ level no doubt then….

  96. 96
    Matilda says:

    Maybe they were a family of UK enrichers? Especially to Bert O’Reilli that famous ice cream merchant.

  97. 97
    green ink says:

    Hain is the very worst sort of an apologist labour MP but even he knows Balls represents all the toxic elements of the Blair Brown years and without a clean sweep at the top they are struggling to convince the public they can have a new way forward. Not that removing or moving balls will do it in any sense .. Miliband is a lightweight attempting to personify a new labour mark 3 when the unions are even stronger now than in Kinnock’s day. This is a hopeless task and without the election falling to them by default in 2015 … and by default I mean for lack of coalition between the UKIP and the Tories the natural expectation still remains that Miliband will want Clegg to allign the Libdems with labour knowing that the Tories cannot stomach his inability to deliver either on his word or the support of his party which condemns him totally as a party leader and an unreliable coalition partner.

  98. 98
    Aunt Hilda says:

    spot on … a complete champagne socialist hypocrite

  99. 99
    Aunt Hilda says:

    oh how we wish…

  100. 100
    erm says:

    exactly. on this basis the Greens should have a member of cabinet. They are a niche party, with a similar level of councillors and an actual MP.

  101. 101
    The EU says:

    Ed, you, and everyone else in the UK is European.
    Get it ?

  102. 102
    The EU says:

    CaMoron 2015 tribute.

    1. Err
    2. Umm
    3. Ahh
    4. 170bn debt
    5. 1 million bulga rian and ROMA
    6. Ummm
    7. Electricity bills doubled
    8. Windmills
    9. Umm
    10. Freedom of speech banned
    11. Nice £400k pa tax free jobby at the EU with Mandlebum

  103. 103
    Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

    Err he shouldn’t.
    He will only split the UKIP vote.

  104. 104
    Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

    Is that 50% in the UK,or in their home country.

  105. 105
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Don’t tell Geedo he is European and “Iorish” to boot, if the UK leaves the EU he could be out on a limb and have to live in Ireland.

  106. 106
    Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

    It was sharia compliant icecream, paid for with bennies, so it doesn’t matter.

  107. 107
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    ” Electricity bills doubled” lucky devil try tripled

  108. 108
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    I would guess about the same amount as Dave to sack some of his awkward squad.

  109. 109
    MMQC says:

    I think it was very brave of Peter to come all the way here from South Africa to fight apartheid…hang on…

  110. 110
    McMental says:

    Peter Hain has always sucked the biggest swinging dick. Balls clearly thinks momentum is with the tories and doesnt want to take his sip of the shit frappe.

    Would be quite happy to see Balls knock the cock out of Hains mouth and look bad in the process.

  111. 111

    Awesome article.

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