May 7th, 2013

Where’s Ed Balls?

When the going got tough, Gordon Brown would pull his favourite Macavity trick and disappear. It seems his prodigy Ed Balls has learnt exactly the same trick. There has been a lot of grumbling over the weekend in Labour circles that the Shadow Chancellor all but disappeared in the wake of the local election results and was silent on the airwaves, leaving the mop up to the likes of Chuka and Tom Watson. He managed to Tweet his congratulations to the new MP for South Shields, but apart from that has stuck to local issues in his seat and talking about Shepherd’s Pie. His absence has been noted by more loyal colleagues…


  1. 1
    Homer Simple says:

    Hmmmmm. Piiiieeee!

  2. 2
    Gordon McCavity says:

    Not turning up for the work you are paid to do is very wrong.

  3. 3
    Brian Be says:

    Thank goodness – the best place for him is out of sight – wish it was out of mind too!!

  4. 4
  5. 5
    BB says:

    Thank goodness – out of sight is the best place for him just wish it was out of mind too! What a boring disaster he is.

  6. 6
    Liar.Politicians says:

    Ed Balls is practising his political Kama Sutra positions..

  7. 7
    Brown out & pay me damages. RESPECT MY RIGHTS TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS! says:

    The last we all heard was the “flat-lining” mantra. Everyone is fed up hearing out. Then he cleared off. Another bullying, useless coward goes into hiding while the socialist morons & leeches spin their sad poorly rehearsed lines.

  8. 8
    Owen Jones says:

    Trapped my first ladybird of the summer under a glass today – I felt empowered, virile and strong.

  9. 9
    gramma says:

    Shepherd’s Pie !
    While Boris is more of a Devils on Horseback type of politician I always had Ed Balls down as more of a Toad in the Hole type

  10. 10
    Ebagum Ton says:

    Aw leave the poor chap be! With all this sun, finding a dark corner to hide in is a substantial skill!

  11. 11
    Lord Arsecroft. says:

    He damaged his spine while jogging. Wait a minute? He hasn’t got a spine Intellectual or moral!

  12. 12
    Pollytwaddle says:

    Come and visit, sweetie.

    I have a wonderful place in Tuscany where we can be alone.

  13. 13
    Eunuchs are not Pilgrims says:

    Please support our No Balls campaign.

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    Protégé, Guido, not prodigy. A prodigy is someone of remarkable talent, which Balls is not.

  15. 15
    Janus faced Lord Arsecroft can fuck off & do one. says:

    Balls is fucking useless.

  16. 16
    green ink says:

    we know the manoevrings of the Eddie Boy’s number cruncher are rarely transparent .. as he has no answers to account for the increased borrowing he would need to do anything cobstructive to get growth moving he will be close to home bunker with yvette the ascerbic impaler stooping as low as it takes to garner what intelligence he can of what the other parties are planning so that he can present it as original thought before long…. a well known gordon tactic.

    in addition suspect hes spending a deal of time with his speech therapist as the stammerings back or having a tena fitting…probably both as hes close to being proved to be as big a waste of space as Chingrinner who trained him and the trainee weasel hes married to.

  17. 17
    Diane Abb0t says:

    lol…Ed baby. You’ve got to cut out all that rich comfort food.

  18. 18
    Yvette says:

    …. he’s more than useless, the fat turd.

  19. 19
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    these sub humans who kept those poor girls prisoner for ten years should be kept prisoners themselves for ten years in the same accomodation and subject to the same beastings as were perpetrated on those poor wretches .

    in fact i would let the girls decide which particularly vile torture should be administered the folowing day and this communicated to the barbarians so they can ruminate on it during the night awaiting the impending rigours of the morn ..

    just need to make the one example for it never to happen again

    of course what will ACTUALLT happen is their lawyer will plead insanity and they will be given three meals a day and a roof and heat and lifgt and medical care and sanitation for life for life …

    then we wonder wht felons laugh at the western justice system

    yes i kmow you will probably spike but getting it off my chest makes me feel better moddy …

  20. 20
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Oh Jeez, give the man some credit, for keeping his head down after “Ed Balls Day.” How easy it would have been for him to do that old, “Now that I have your attention, let me say blah blah blah, in all seriousness…” wheeze! HE knows he’s annoying, so you’d figure that, if he looks to ever be PM (don’t rule that ambition on his part out, by any means), he can’t afford the whole “Will-no-one-rid-us?” reflex to kick in through overexposure. And in his case, being a larger-than-life figure (with an ever-growing beer gut struggling mightily to match it), there’s a hell of a lot to overexpose.

  21. 21
    Morgan's Organ says:

    A bully and a coward.

  22. 22
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:


  23. 23
    Tachybaptus says:

    Considering what Balls did to the economy, I don’t think I’d want to eat a pie made by him.

  24. 24
    I am not doing a thing for Brown's Labour dogshite in Edinburgh. Stop deluding yourselves. Leeching Scum. says:

    Ballsup! As usual.

  25. 25
    Aunt Hilda says:

    I dislike your opinions greatly Polly but you would be a national treasure forever if you could see your way to sit on his face and put his lights out.

  26. 26
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Should that not read “Where ARE Ed’s Balls?

  27. 27
    Brown's Crap Psychology says:

    Exactly. He is a bullying coward.

  28. 28
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    yeah … but he …somehow … can run a marathon and last 90 minutes on a football pitch ..

    D you think he s on Viagra ?

    ( Don t answer that Yvette … too much information !)

  29. 29
    Brainwashing Bull Cock -BBC says:

    Vote Labour.

  30. 30
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Ed Balls serves no purpose. He is a liar, a Brownite, in denial, and never answers a question.

  31. 31
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    Owen , Mum here ..

    Free it at once or no Winnie the Pooh story at beddy byes tonight !!

  32. 32
    Eunuchonomics. says:

    Balls & Dick Ed. What a pair of useless stunts!

  33. 33
    Yvette Cooper says:

    Turd in the hole.

  34. 34
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    I thought Boris was more of a bedevilled kidney man myself … perhaps laced with some worcester sauce and the leftovers of yesterdays kedgeree .

  35. 35
    Yvette Cooper says:

    WTF can’t I even comment on my own husband?

  36. 36
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:




  37. 37
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    NO DEAR …

  38. 38
    Spinal Damage. says:

    He is a c_unt.

  39. 39
    Lord Stansted says:

    They should be made to listen to Ed Balls non-stop for 24 hours.

  40. 40
    Janus Faced Labour. says:

    He is such a Brown tvrd. Probably inviting McPoison round for Dinner!

  41. 41
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

    and that classic has more positions on the economy than the Karma Sutra that’s why we voted for VC.

    Anytime you’re Twickers Way
    Any season, any day
    You’ll find us all, doing the Liberal Waltz.

  42. 42
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

    In which case will he need yellow members to support him? If so which of his positions?

  43. 43
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls

  44. 44
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

    Or Liberal Democrat if you come from near our nerve cell. Or Con only if you can be considered rich right now. No-one fix the private sector or we’ll wither away!! :)

  45. 45
    South London geezer says:

    Give Streatham and London a miss. So full of trash. See you in the Ballsearics at my Ibiza pad.

    Harrison xxx

  46. 46
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

    As a point of information he has come up with a range of stimuli. However these will be difficult for the markets to swallow as they come from the wrong party, which is why you require Cable also in government for a socialist dream. Ooh it’ll be a delicious shepherd’s pie.

  47. 47
    The BBC is a bloody disgrace says:

    Not content with stirring it up over European Referendum I see the Republican BBC was doing its best to spin an ulterior motive for HMQ to not Commonwealth Heads of Govt Meeting in Sri Lanka and that was she shirking her responsibilities and had an hidden agenda(only the BBC seems to think she has by the way) by sending Charles? Not that she is 87 and Philip is 93 and neither are in good health and under normal circumstances would have been retired for 30 years..they really are unfit to be called BRITISH Broadcasting Corporation

  48. 48
    Yesterday's man says:

    He’ll not be in post after September 2014 when Darling has “won” the referendum campaign in Scotland and replaced him ahead of 2015 election…Balls is the weak link for Miliband..he’s too closely associated with the catastrophic Brown and reminds the voters that Labour ruined the economy

  49. 49
    DAVE "village people" CAMERON says:

    Ed cooks up another “crock of shit” to feed to the labour faithful

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    Veto UKIP

  51. 51
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

    Replace her with Fiona Bruce :)

  52. 52
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Been watching American Pie films, I see. Hopefully he hasn’t been.

  53. 53
    Social Media Guru says:

    #EdBalls #LabourWinning #Responsibility #Loyalty #Honour

  54. 54
    Hang The Bostards says:

    Slimey creatures always crawl back under their stone when the going gets tough. It’s in their DNA

  55. 55
    fitz fitz says:

    * This story is not even of peripheral interest, Guy . Get a grip .

  56. 56
    an olde ffarte says:

    your question might be phrased: where are ed’s balls?

  57. 57
    born in streatham says:

    leave Streatham alone – people have to live there.

  58. 58
    born in streatham says:

    Balls? Whose Balls?

  59. 59
    green ink says:

    OT but interesting take on the states deficit from washington post .. clearly the 2.5% growth helped.

    quote ..

    After four years of trillion-dollar deficits, the red ink is receding rapidly in Washington, easing pressure on policymakers and shattering hopes for a summertime budget deal.

    Federal tax revenues are up and spending is down thanks to an improving economy, tax hikes enacted in January and the hated budget cuts known as the sequester. As a result, the U.S. Treasury has slowed the pace of borrowing from the frantic days of the 2008 economic crisis and was actually able to repay a tiny fraction of the $16.8 trillion national debt in the first quarter of this year.

    That might seem like good news, but it is unraveling Republican plans to use the debt limit deadline to force a budget deal before Congress takes its August break. Instead, the fiscal fight now appears likely to bleed into the fall, when policymakers will face another multi-pronged crisis that pairs the risk of default with the prospect of a full-scale government shutdown.

  60. 60
    Just guessing says:

    I suppose no one told him that is a bit of old alsatian and the nag that came in last in the 4:45 at Lingfield ?

  61. 61
    a nursery rhyme says:

    ladybird, ladybird fly away home your house is on fire and your babies have gone

  62. 62
    a nursery rhyme says:

    Europhile, Europhile fly away home your house is on fire and your trough has all gone

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    How many spots? ( The ladybird, not you..)

  64. 64
    The wizz says:

    Do you know that there are Red ladybirds and Yellow ladybirds, but i’ve never seen a blue ladybird. Is it because the Reds and Yellows are arsonists?

  65. 65
    "On the Ed, son" Balls says:

    I’m off to be the next manager for Manchester United. Enough of this fake economics crap. Nobody believed me anyway! Yvette can take over.

  66. 66
    Book him Danno says:

    Has anyone looked in one of the second homes that he, along with his wife, has stolen from the tax-payer? He could be there!

  67. 67
    It's the floor that kills, not the fall says:

    He’s swotting to be chancellor. Like what we all used to do before exams, disappearing from life for a couple of weeks into our bedrooms, living on toast and tea, and coffee after eleven at night, cramming.

  68. 68
    It's the floor that kills, not the fall says:

    What is Ed eating there in the photo? Doesn’t look like baked beans on toast – suspiciously looks like a quail with that Italian herb pesky sauce.

  69. 69
    It's the floor that kills, not the fall says:

    But yes Vince, but at least Balls hasn’t had as many u-turns than a couple of gay boys in bed.

  70. 70
    Officer Wendell "Bud" White says:

    Cops in my day would have simply shot them and then just made the scene fit as needed. Standards have slipped.

  71. 71
    damned impertinent questions says:

    Lets face it …who would willingly associate with the toxic brand Ed

  72. 72
    Matilda says:

    or Helen Mirren who’ll soon sort these assorted yobs out!

  73. 73
    Solyushuns R Us says:


  74. 74
    Solyushuns R Us says:

    These Yankee boys are deadly serious about shutdowns too. A few years ago I travelled half way round the world to visit Pearl Harbour. I arrived late in the evening on the day before they shut the place down (with no prior notice) for ‘lack of funds’. So I just flew away again and have never ever bothered to make the trip again.

Seen Elsewhere

100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015
Fate of Eurozone Rests in Hands of Videogame Expert | TechnoGuido
UKIP After Farage | Asa Bennett
Eichmann Called on Arabs to Continue War on Jews | Speccie
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers