May 7th, 2013

Full Page Times Advert Whacks Dave and George

Things have got so bad for one disgruntled Tory voter, going only by the name ‘Martin’, that he has taken out a full page advert in today’s Times laying into Cameron and Osborne as a “desperate and expensive cry for help”:

Click to enlarge.

“I am a natural Conservative voter who has become very disillusioned with my party over the last 3 years. I realise you are both terribly important and you really cannot afford the time to actually think about us mere taxpayers and citizens, which is why you have correspondence units and a phalanx of staff to shield you from the unpleasant realities of the real world. I am rather hoping however, that you read the newspapers. That is why I chose this rather unusual mechanism for trying to remind you that there are real people out here. Call it a desperate and expensive cry for help.

… Finally, no Mr Miliband. This does not mean that you, or indeed Mr Balls, would be likely to do a better job. Your party, in the form of Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, got us into this mess by exploding government spending for little positive benefit. There is no reason to suppose that you would do any better.”



  1. 1
    useful idiot says:

    wonder who ‘martin’ is sponsored by

    did the ad get paid for by the EU via old Nige on the QT?


  2. 2
    useful idiot says:

    also he is gonna be pretty pissed if Dave and George read online only

  3. 3
    Ordinary person says:

    A little person with a big ego.

  4. 4
    Martacus says:

    I’m Martin!

  5. 5
    loonspud says:


  6. 6
    Maurice Minor says:

    Sounds about right, but will they listen? Nah

  7. 7
    Brian says:

    I’m Martin, and so’s my wife.

  8. 8
    V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

    The political class need a good kicking again to reconnect them with the electorate. Failing that they should be rounded up and eliminated so we can start again with real representatives who reflect the views of the electorate. How much longer can they live in their own little biased world?

  9. 9
    The Cabinet says:

    Reading the Times is for the little people.

  10. 10
    Steve Miliband says:

    Could this and the Lawson intervention be a ploy by the Tories to move the paradigm? No probably not.

  11. 11
    Deaf Government says:

    We are listening.

  12. 12
    Duckham Weave says:

    It’s why we need a CONSERVATIVE GOVERNMENT and not the coalition nonsense.

    Time to go on the rampage and destroy the Lib Dems, Labour, UKIP and others who work to prevent this.

  13. 13
    The Stilton Eater says:

    An ad?

    He should have made a donation. Or gone to Eton.

  14. 14
    The new Alan Johnson. says:

  15. 15
    Deaf Government says:

    Outrageous! How dare you suggest we destroy Dave?

  16. 16
    Martin Day says:

    Of course it was me who took out the Times advert.

  17. 17
    Village Idiot says:

    Dear Dave,
    Most of us have now seen through you and your clique,and, you are
    in my opinion,a busted flush…I rated you very highly,and believed you would do
    your best for Great Britain,looking after our own people and getting our house in order before giving vast amounts to those beyond our shores….I fear it is over
    for your version of “conservatism”,which,in reality,is anything but…Like numerous other people,i believe the present 3 party set up,does not represent
    anything of benefit to OUR country,and,until we disentangle ourselves from the EU,we will continue to be dragged down….You took us for granted and lost….

  18. 18
    Owen Jones says:

    GET BRITAIN OUT OF EUROPE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    “Martin” should have been made to give his real name,address and number before the Times took the advert.Im quite surprised there arent strict rules about what advertising they take.I was considering subscribing to the Times on line but now i wont.

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    Ill drink to that ! geddit ?

  21. 21
    Dunlaggin says:

    “Full name and address supplied”

  22. 22
    One Term Dave says:

    “A little person with a big ego.”

    That’s me!

  23. 23
    JH3842394329 says:

    How many letters have you delivered?

    What the f*ck do you know about running an actual business that has to actually deliver – literally?

  24. 24
    Steve Miliband says:

    Royal mail posts the trashy letters.
    Post Offices are full of old, trashy, smelly people

  25. 25
    loonspud says:

    like some kind of anarchism.

  26. 26
    The Alan Johnson comeback campaign says:

    You gotta feel sorry for Alan Johnson. Having Ed Balls take over his job was bad enough but Chuka replacing him as Labour’s postie expert?

  27. 27
    a listener says:

    you were very funny

  28. 28
    Aaron D Highside says:

    You were ‘considering’ subscribing to The Times? No you weren’t.

  29. 29
    loonspud says:

    what do ANY of them know about real work

  30. 30
    Raving Loon says:

    Abolish employer’s NI, merge other NI’s with income tax so people have an idea of how much they’re really paying.

  31. 31
    Hugh Janus says:

    You won’t get a Conservative government until the party finds a Conservative leader – preferably one with balls and a spine, too….

  32. 32
    Owen Jones says:

    Listening to the Smith’s “The Queen is Dead”. If only. ;)

  33. 33
    G K Chesterton says:

    Are the English finally speaking?

  34. 34
    an effnic says:

    get the Brits out of Britain

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Why not print it then ?

  36. 36
    Europa crash says:

    And quite right too. Why are the British Isles considered part of the continent of Europe?

  37. 37
    Maqb­oul says:

    Why don’t you post your name and address Mr “Anonymous” ?

  38. 38
    Neo says:

    Looks like the British public are beginning to wake up from the Matrix.

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    Yes i was, how the feck do you know what i was doing ? its usually less biased than the rest of the rags,without the usual 3 line whip from labour or ukip to flood comments pageswith bonkers,biased remarks.

  40. 40
    useful idiot says:

    he probably requested it not to be printed. would you want your name and address published in The Times? Imagine the amount of pizzas and taxis he’d get sent from annoyed interns at CCHQ

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    With a mad smile and a pint in his hand ?

  42. 42
    Gordo McMental, the Medicated Monetary Muppet, in a rare moment of lucidity, says:

    I ruin everything I touch!

    Why then put me i/c of World Education?

  43. 43
    Chuka Can says:

    Chuka’s postie qualifications.

    1) DJ? Nah.
    2) Lawyer? Nah.
    3) Politician? Nah.
    4) Ibiza hedonist? Nah.
    4) Trash spotter? Yah.

  44. 44
    Bernard says:

  45. 45
    In Short says:

    Just fuck off you useless dollop of upper class shit!!

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Lets be honest, people voted “tactically” last time as advocated by phone ins on Radio 5 etc.So people brought the co alition on themselves, stop whingeing and admit its your own fault. The PM cant do what he wants because of Clegg.

  47. 47
    JH3249230492321 says:

    I know someone who has worked in a number of sorting offices. They are a den of low rent scummy people.

    Don’t ever send cash through the post. Send birthday cards in a plain, larger envelope.

  48. 48
    In Short (afterthought) says:

    Lest there be any uncertainty – I MEAN YOU ‘DAVE’ – JUST GO!

  49. 49
    Mitch says:

    Orphanage? An unfortunate choice of word..

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    Alan Johnson admitted he wasnt up to being shadow chancellor, he was lucky to get as far as he did.

  51. 51
    how many m.pyres says:

    on the side.
    ing is dutch and then there is angledutch.
    it is a shell.
    ant r the workers.
    so r b’s
    4 queen b….e…..a.
    …a…….us…….is happi…….4 l is a z.
    the world has 2b turned u…peee….side….@dawn
    on the utha sid….romans r in anda.

  52. 52
    The Public says:

    He could have saved a lot of money and just said…

    “Dave you quisling, just FUCK OFF!”

  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, but labour politicians are no better, neither are ukip ! if you are such a genius you stand in 2015 and stop complaining !

  54. 54
    The All Seeing Eye says:

    BS. liar liar pants on fire.

  55. 55
    The Public says:

    They all think we’re just trash!

  56. 56
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Where are you SUPPOSED to be, Chesty?

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    VILLAGE IDIOT.the PM is loaded and could buy and sell you, you sad little man ! Ha Ha Ha Ha

  58. 58
    Burn the Lisbon Treaty - NOW says:

    They haven’t been for some time :

  59. 59
    rick says:

    The letter says it all. Well done that man.

  60. 60
    Dunlaggin says:

    You first?

  61. 61
    Give us a clue says:

    Al Murray, the pub landlord?

  62. 62
    Anonymous says:

    There has to be somethng radically wrong with a person who wishes an old lady was dead.Why dont you get up off your arse and make something of yourself,then you will find the chip gets much smaller.

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    He is obviously more educated than you though, isnt he ?

  64. 64
    albacore says:

    Fear not, that plan is proceeding apace
    The LibLabCons’ main aim is to replace
    What remains British with any old dross
    (It’s not like anybody gives a toss)

  65. 65
    White people don't vote Labour anymore says:

    You’ve got a Conservative leader, one that happens to bear a striking resemblance to Neville Chamberlain, Anthony Eden, Edward Heath and John Major.

    Wake up you pillock, for God’s sake.

  66. 66
    Parasite says:

    Not if it’s the scowling old bat, Lizard-breath Mounted Baton

  67. 67
    Parasite says:

    I expect you are using the word ‘he’ quite loosely as this ‘letter from a disgruntled tory voter’ was obviously written by a communications agency.

  68. 68
    ...And Another Thing says:

    …and another couple of things:

    Stop Town Clerks calling themselves CEO’s and halve their salaries, utter madness to allow council’s to say, ah yes but if we did not pay ridiculous quarter million salaries we would loose these valuable people to private industry.

    No you would not, they could not CEO their way out of a paper bag so stop it now! Back to “Town Clerks” and back to proper payment of what they are worth.

    Stop OFGEM “fining” power companies, back door taxation and a major scam on ordinary people. We pay the fines.

    OFGEM is a scam! and have been allowed to get away with it for too long!!

  69. 69
    Phil says:

    Dave is in a coalition with another party whose main priority is staying in Europe, saddling us all with huge energy ibills to keep the tree shaggers happy and denying all of us our human rights by dint of the last Labour government’s human rights edict to not kick out foreign thieves, vagabonds and murderous criminals ably abetted by our own fifth column of out of touch judges.
    Bearing in mind that Cleg has already reneged on the boundary issue and cutting the HOC by 50 mp’s I think that Dave is doing the best he can with one hand tied behind his back.
    If we want a conservative government we should vote one in with a majoirty at the next election and I suspect they would tidy up the above problems pdq.

  70. 70
    Parasite says:

    This letter is a load of old bollocks. Obviously written by a committee. Or ‘brainstormed’ by some special advisers or PR wonks. If it was really written by a ‘disgruntled voter’ I think there would certainly have contained things which the Times would not have printed.

  71. 71
    Truth said says:

    But telling the truth though.

  72. 72
    Truth said says:

    He could reach down to the low level letter boxes though.

  73. 73
    Truth said says:

    Martin speaks the truth but it is wasted on these pair of clowns after all they are nothing but fruitcakes and closet racist (they hate the English).

  74. 74
    White people don't vote Labour anymore says:

    Dave went to Eton, and if that isn’t a classic example of why public schools are an enormous waste of money I don’t know what is.

    Why didn’t mater and pater simply give Dave a million quid and tell him to make some us of it? Because he would have pissed it all away and exposed himself as the utter duffer he so obviously is. Better to pack him off to Eton and pull some strings to get him a job in the public sector with letters in front of his name where his lack of any ability can be covered up by blaming the people around him.

  75. 75
    Truth said says:

    Could be and like the Times would not dream of mentioning all of our tax money spent on finding homes,schools and medical facilities for immigrants.

  76. 76
    A.K.Chesterton says:

    Where are the League Of Empire Loyalists when you need ‘em?

  77. 77
    an effnic says:

    “I’ve always voted Conservative – but for this ?”
    I think that means ” Have I always voted Conservative to get this load of bollocks?”

  78. 78
    Ah! Monika says:

    The drinks are on US! MPs want cut-price booze in Parliament bars slashed even more – with the taxpayer footing the bill

    Prices at the four Palace of Westminster bars are already cheap, especially for central London, as they are linked to those in a nearby Wetherspoons pub.

  79. 79
    an effnic says:

    we need to make the rest of the world thicker so that our mongs have a chance to compete.

  80. 80
    Pearl neclesse says:

    Dearest anonomong…
    May I congratulate you on your total and utter fook witted response.

  81. 81
    Ann Onnybint says:

    You been taking gibberish lessons from that poster known as ASTA? Not seen him for a while; must popped his clogs.

  82. 82
    Ann Onnybint says:

    Time this tosser was ‘stamped’ out.

  83. 83
    Ann Onnybint says:

    .. which is precisely why he regards politics merely as his plaything. He needs to get a good squib up the whatsits to wake him up.

  84. 84
    Ann Onnybint says:

    Please do not confuse ‘educated’ with ‘intelligence’. That is all. You may go.

  85. 85
    Ann Onnybint says:

    Not surprising as one is Scotch and the other is Irish. How do these bloody foreigners get to be so senior concerning English matters?

  86. 86
    Grimy Miner says:

    If CMD is loaded I just wish the f0ck he would just go off.

  87. 87
    Yoda says:

    Irony not strong in this one.

  88. 88
    cityferret says:

    pretty much spot on … martin sorrell perhaps ?

  89. 89
    Rightallalong says:

    Last year when the deficit came ‘down’ to £120 billion, Conservative MPs proudly announced that they had cut the deficit by a ‘quarter’. This year the deficit is still £120 billion and yet the Conservative MPs say they have cut the deficit by a ‘third’. Could someone please explain ?

  90. 90
    Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration. says:

    UKIP are doing a fine job of standing thank you very much, with popular support as evidenced by 26 per cent voter support.

    Democracy in play, well as much as FPTP can be.

    Why don’t you stand and come last so we can all have a giggle at you and the tories losing their deposits.

  91. 91
    cityferret says:

    on the nail Phil we got what the public voted for … decisive start thwarted by cleggie’s complete inability to deliver on either his word or party

  92. 92
    Martian says:

    They couldn’t even spell my name properly.

  93. 93
    Jimmy says:

    A mysterious reclusive rightie? Called Martin?

    It couldn’t be…could it?

  94. 94
    Parasite says:

    don’t worry your pleb head. please get back to playing fruit machines and the position of ‘your’ team in the league table.

    The economy is for us Chosen to manage on your behalf, using magical numbers and equations that are too difficult for you to understand, and which it is better for you not to understand anyway, becaues if you did you’d string us up from a lamp post.

  95. 95
    Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

    I enjoy a bit of spirited criticism from Joe Public as much as the next man, however to make any impact we need a few more public demonstrations in Westminster to get things really moving.

    However that letter was utterly rubbish wasn’t it ?
    Waffly, repetitive, waffly and repetitive, and generally weak..

    It also failed to mention the enormous stinky corrupt elephant in the room, the EU !

    Why on earth not ?
    Is he even for real ?

    A great many of the things this chap complains about are EU competencies…. does he not realise this ?

    Stuck in the country somewhere with slow broadband, this poor soul has been indoctrinated in everything EU by corrupt politicians awaiting their chance to suck the EU teat, combined with 24/7 propaganda from the EU funded BBC – they’ve done a good job on him.

    So much so, he now knows very little of what he talks about.

    The truth is, Conservatives do not have the will or backbone to even begin scraping the surface of this chaps issues.
    Because Conservatives have moved so far to the “left”, their political liberal socialist ideology is indistinguishable between any of the quislings in the Legacy LibLabCon.
    And neither do the Conservatives have the ability to deal with many of the issues due to EU laws.

    This man is 20 years too late with that letter.
    He is typical of the ever faithful Conservative lemmings who jump of the cliff with a Conservative vote in one hand and empty promises in the other. His parting gift an even emptier smile from his local constituency chairman (whose membership has probably died on its ar$e as everyone has left for UKIP).

    It is deluded fools like this which are keeping our corrupt political elites in power and the snouts of Liar Dave and his Eton mates firmly in the trough.
    That might not be such a disaster however it also keeps the UK shackled to the corpse of the EU – and that is a disaster movie of national importance.

    The sooner some more MP’s show the guts, courage and intelligence that Nigel Lawson has shown today, the sooner this country will be rescued from the abomination that is the EU.
    In the meantime, the Conservatives should be honest with themselves and join the liberal socialist coalition that is “LibLabCon” where their ideologies will find favour.

    The proverbial door to the centre right, is thus open wider than ever for UKIP to occupy.
    Lawson just put his size nines right in front of the door.

  96. 96
    Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

    Anon is a troll mining for bitcoins.

  97. 97
    The EU says:

    All honest and good men.

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    Phil you failed and missed the nail by a mile I’m afraid.

    You still don’t get it ?

    There is no difference between any of LibLabCon…. they all occupy the liberal socialist left…

    LibLabCon all 100% support

    – Staying in the EU
    – Huge energy bills
    – ECHR and Uman rights (goes hand in hand with the EU)

    Dave’s hand is only tied in knots by his own lies and treachery.

    The Conservatives will stab you in the back, again, and again, and again.

    Come back when you’ve thought about it a bit more.

  99. 99
    The EU says:

    The Truth is an EU competency.
    You are forbidden from discussing this.

  100. 100
    Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

    Most people voted for UKIP with their head and heart, in spite of the relentless 24/7 propoganda and smears from every section of the MSM and EU funded BBC.

    The only reason one of Dave’s hands is hidden is because his arm, and every other Conservative MP’s arm, are all so far up the LibDems and LieBors ar$es.

    That’s the problem.

  101. 101
    Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:


  102. 102
    Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

    As others have suggested, I dont think Martin exists does he….

    If he did, he be a lot more pissed of than that..

  103. 103
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Fake up crap by UKIP and their media allies.

  104. 104
    Nigel Crabtree says:

    Martin Clunes?

  105. 105
    Bilbo Baggins says:

    Martin Freeman?

  106. 106
    Martin Tyler says:

    Martin Skrtel?

  107. 107
    Martin Skrtel says:

    Martin Tyler?

  108. 108
    Vote UKIP for uncontrolled loonies says:

    “Most people voted for UKIP”. Really? Then why aren’t UKIP in government?

  109. 109
    UKIP are a joke says:

    “LibLabCon” has to be the laziest, most disingenuous political slogan of modern times. Go off and compare the 3 parties’ policies on education, defence, taxation, union reform, NHS reform, welfare and everything else that UKIP has ZERO policies on, and then come back when you’ve switched your brain on.

  110. 110
    Hertford and Stortford says:

    Waste of time Martin.

    They are not going to listen to you – or me – or any of us.

    They will not change

    They will not do anything which will make their situation worse.

    We are headed for the rocks.

    You have just wasted £xx,000 on that advertorial. And wrong paper.

    The politicians are so out of touch, so arrogant, so full of it.

  111. 111
    Anonymous says:

    ukip got 147 local council seats, they got 25% of a 30% turnout ! we are hardly talking a landslide here !

  112. 112
    Anonymous says:

    I think its Milliband who needs a squib up his arese !

  113. 113
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

    Wrong. “no reason to suppose that you would do any better.

    Yes there is, we’ll give all those deluded Humphreys jobs at my org, the Beeb with a full taxpayer subsidy for the beeb, then politicians can get on with slashing the deficit and investing in UK co-op (with state-sponsored soundbites to make sure people are reassured to go and spend their money). Simple.

  114. 114
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

    Wait and see how many turn Lib/Lab/Con when the 2015 money rolls in!

  115. 115
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

    I detect the yellow finger of fate.

  116. 116
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

    There was barely mention of the English shire county elections over here at the Beeb. Has a knock-on effect on voting. Shove Farage on the news on the eve before and pit him against Paxman and the others then see the outcome. We’ll do that with Balls in 2015 but he’ll be ready to come out on top.

  117. 117
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

    Followed by “with their hand” grammatically equally can mean most of the people who voted for UKIP did so with their hand”. You are a troll.

  118. 118
    Village Idiot says:

    Well tell him ,slavery is also over…..

  119. 119
    superman says:

    The political classes are where they are because the vast majority of the people are too lazy to engage in politics! If you are unhappy get of your arse and do something about it!

  120. 120
    superman says:

    Crap. If he paid cash why should the Times not publish? Journalists and newspapers love to“protect” their sources. Why not their advertisers?

  121. 121
    Mart's the man says:

    well done Martin

  122. 122
    Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration. says:

    No. LibLabCon is the perfect description.

    80% of law in the UK is influenced or set by the EU.
    Thus because LibLabCon are all pro EU, they cannot differentiate between themselves on 80% of policy.

    They have boxed themselves in a corner.

    Can’t stop legal immigration.
    Can’t kick out illegals – ECHR
    Must shut our power stations down
    Must build windmills.
    Must put electricty and gas costs up
    Must tax the city.
    Can’t change the EU budget.
    Can’t agree trade deals with whoever we want.
    Can’t fish in our own seas.
    Must have gay marriage.
    Can only have EU trained journalists ( this is proposed and progressing)
    The list goes on, and on.

    That’s why LibLabCon is the most accurate and perfect description of the quislings we call our politicians.

  123. 123
    Nic Niewart says:

    I think it is time to write another tome about British prime ministers. They are either popular and incompetent like Blair, or incompetent and unpopular like Brown and Cameron. In hindsight, the seemingly great like Thatcher and Churchill will eventually with rational examination, probably fall into the main premise. Now, what title to give this book? Hanging’s 2good4 da bastas? See how I am trying to appeal to the urban chuka-boot?

  124. 124
    Tim Williamson says:

    The BBC is institutionally left wing, questionably anti-British and anti-monarchist. It is an enormous quango, unaccountable to the general public but funded by a compulsory tax on TV owners — whether they watch the BBC or not.
    Why do we tolerate this bloated, self-serving and arrogant Oxbridge-managed monolith to survive at our expense? ITV, Sky TV and the other independent radio broadcasters enjoy no such protection from the real world. Why should the BBC? It’s a dinosaur throwback to a protectionist age of patronage and compliance. Sell it off and give the money back to the people who are forced to pay for it. Let it sink or swim on its merits — not on the backs of the taxpayers.

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