April 29th, 2013

Rich’s Monday Morning View


190 Comments

  1. 1
    Hugh Janus says:

    Okay, I give up, who/what is it this time?

    • 3

      It is a Twitter meta-meme which reduces Ed Ball’s whole career to a mass mock infatuation with his own name.

      It should be as good as it ever gets for him now. You cannot top that (Rule number 1,000,000,000.)

    • 8
      guardian reading harridan says:

      you’re all racist-sexist white males – just wait and see the Green vote will comfortably beat UKIP.

    • 9
      Justice. says:

      I would like to give Dubai a big thanks for dealing with our drug dealers as clearly the Brirish courts will not.

      • 16
        Mother Nature says:

        Legalise all drugs forthwith, thereby destroying the market for the criminals. Issue clean drugs through pharmacies. Any silly fucker that wants to take them and poison or kill him/herself can just get on with it.
        My proven system of evolution will then make the idiots extinct.

        • 28
          MB. says:

          For many years I have believed that the big tobacco, alcohol and chemical companies have contingency plans for production and sale of various now illegal drugs if the law was ever changed.

          I am sure than HMRC and the police would be just as happy prosecuting drug dealers for non payment of VAT or excise duty as they are for catching them selling illegal drugs.

          • Cynic says:

            Not necessarily. You forget all the opportunities for minor shake-downs that the current system offers otherwise talentless bent coppers. Legalise drugs and the polcie force will have to find something for all those useless lumps to do with with their time.

          • Wolsey Hornet says:

            Didn’t Thatcher get £2,000,000 from Phillip Morris inc to consult on cannabis, they then registered the trademark ‘Joint’ did they not?

          • Joint Committee on Human Rights?

            What do they do?

          • MB. says:

            Cynic says:
            April 29, 2013 at 8:40 am

            Not necessarily. You forget all the opportunities for minor shake-downs that the current system offers otherwise talentless bent coppers. Legalise drugs and the polcie force will have to find something for all those useless lumps to do with with their time.
            ———–
            They will just get tobacco and alcohol made illegal and go around telling people how dangerous these are and that the people pushing them to addicts have to be stopped and locked up.

          • ploddite says:

            Even legal drugs, such as alcohol and tobacco, provide opportunies for criminals since the gov’t insist on levying heavy taxes on them. This leads to smuggling.

            The problem is the addiction to government hand-outs, not drugs.

        • 152
          Anonymous says:

          I can only assume you are a consumer. If you were a supplier you would know why you create the drugs industry. It is not for the drugs. It is for the money.

          So now assume that we have a minority that will do anything criminal to make more money then the average person. Assuming your plan above is carried out, what do you think this army of people will do the day after?

          They simply will take the next more evil way to criminally corrupt and exploit. I already know what the next group do, and I do not wish to live in a world with vastly more people supporting those activities.

          It is not a supply and demand problem, it is simply criminal greed.

        • 159
          Maq­boul says:

          Legalise murder now, destroying the market for unlicensed hitmen.

    • 44

      As a recent newcomer to site, could someone explain. Is the Monday morning cartoon a variation on the Friday caption competition? Does one have to guess a meaning for it? Is there a prize?

      • 67
        The Speaker says:

        Three questions in one comment is rather optimistic

      • 160
        Maq­boul says:

        Gu­ido likes to start the week on a high, but it’s downhill all the way now.

        • 183
          Old Blind Pugh says:

          No I think that’s wrong, Geedo starts off on a low level in the hope things will get better, the cartoon gives something for his punters to moan about.

    • 107
      Anonymous says:

      should have done something about UKIP shouting ‘smears’ at stuff that is actually true

      • 123
        Dixon my cocks green says:

        On a Sunday morning Guido lets his little girl paint a picture , Guido then spends the rest of the day trying to put a witty caption on it to make it vaguely recognisable to the rest of us

        • 148
          the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

          it is like those challenging picture puzzles you see in the papers.

  2. 2

    But will others be lending?

  3. 4
    I want my money back says:

    Ballshit.

  4. 5
    UKID DING says:
    • 11
      Small employer says:

      That’s just common sense.

    • 14
      Ollie Reed says:

      Women have three basic roles in life: to be cooks, scrub floors and be receivers of men’s cocks. Most people try and pretend it’s not like that, but we all know it’s true.

    • 20
      Raving Loon says:

      Have you ever run a business? Thought not.

      • 23
        JabbaTheCat says:

        The dear leader is so good at running a business that the revenue is in the process of shutting down Farage Limited for non payment of taxes…duh!

        • 77
          Anonymous says:

          Nigel is never going to leave the gravy train that is Brussels to be a lowly MP here, with expenses being watched all the time !

      • 24
        Small Business Owner says:

        You should feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you have to work 16 hour days to fill in for your absent employee to avoid going out of business.

      • 76
        Anonymous says:

        Have you ever had ti go to an employment tribunal ? you will !

    • 21
      Tuscan Tony says:

      Never trust a journalist that can’t spell “because”.

    • 31
      Ron Barras says:

      UKIP are nutters. Farage is slick on TV but they’re a bunch of weirdos who couldn’t run a whelk stall.

      How many of their Euro MPs have gone to prison for fiddling money? I’m not good enough with maths to count this high.

      • 34
        the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

        Leaving the European disaster is a very sensible policy

      • 40
        Normal Guy says:

        The Tories are nutters, Labour are nutters, the Lib Dems are nutters and don’t get me started on the SNP, the Welsh nationalists and likes of the SWP. ALL of the political parties are populated by nutters.

        • 62
          Old Blind Pugh says:

          That’s it, the only ones that are sensible, virtuous and upstanding is the party you support, that would be UKip by any chance

          • Logic 101 says:

            Would you like to come on my introductory logic course once you have looked up the meaning of the word ‘ALL’?

          • Anonymous says:

            I think its really funny that ukip are whingeing because some of their madder supporters have been outed ! they havent got a clue, they have been allowing people to stand in their name without the most basic of checks being done, and they think they can run the country !

          • Eric Joyce says:

            If only they had been as rigouroush ash the Co-operative Party in their candidate shelection

          • Maq­boul says:

            Yes, coz Labour did a mighty fine job of running the country. The only clever thing they did was to get another party to try and fix it.

            UKIP reflect the views of the majority of Middle England, which are not the views of the chattering classes in Primrose Hill. Cantakerous, bloody minded, eccentric, patriotic .. you name it, that’s what most people are like.

            UKIP may have only one policy worth remembering, but it’s one more than Labour has.

            A year ago UKIP weren’t worth smearing. You can tell how far they’ve come to have got the Big Three worried.

      • 163
        Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

        Don’t try any of that nonsense you paid CCHQ troll.

        Here are your wonderfull Labour and Lib dems I can’t even be bothered to write a list for the truely morally bancrupt conservatives.

        http://labour25.com/

      • 179
        Us says:

        How many tories fiddled their expenses?

        How many labour mps flipped their second homes and voted to invade Iraq on a lie?

        UKIP always expel any mp or mep who is found to have transgressed, whereas tories and labour just try to cover it up.

        VOTE UKIP to keep Britain and politics clean.

    • 52
      Mahatma Ghandi says:

      Cameron would have them dropping sprogs on the factory floor if he could.

      • 59
        Elf and Safety says:

        No he wouldn’t

        • 74
          Mahatma Ghandi says:

          Yes he would.. I saw a tweet he made recently, it said “maternity leave? #lazytarts if I had my way they would be dropping sprogs on the factory floor”.. he deleted it quickly but I did see it.. honest mate..

          • Anonymous says:

            No, that was from the Archbishop of canterbury, not David Cameron.

          • Mahatma Ghandi says:

            The above statement is satire.. not fact, before anyone with a sense of humour deficit complains.. better get that disclaimer out there before I get done for slander.

          • Tony Blair says:

            Satire is dead. I killed it with my weapons of mass destruction.

      • 64
        Old Blind Pugh says:

        Is that factory the cannon fodder factory?

      • 187
        RedEdmumssoreweepingandcrustyflaps says:

        Would you like a beer sir?

    • 66
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      That would basically mean any female less than 50 should not work?

    • 89
      Anonymous says:

      Im looking forward to ukip enlightening us all with their thoughts, they have had too much of an easy ride so far !

      • 108
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        Are you unable to read? Here’s a clue,

        http://www.ukip.org/content/ukip-policies

        • 138
          Old Blind Pugh says:

          I read yesterday that Ukip was short of policies so it was suggested they go to one of the right wing “think tanks” by one of their leading lights and buy a few “off the shelf”

          • Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

            Spot the frikin difference between LibLabCon…

            Conservative Policy = Deficit stays the same, more uncontrolled immigration, wages to the floor, more EU, gay marriage, more windmills, more green belt development, electricity bills to double.

            Labour Policy = Increase deficit, more uncontrolled immigration, wages to the floor, more EU, gay marriage, more windmills, more green belt development, electricity bills to double.

            LibDems Policy = deficit ?!, more uncontrolled immigration, wages to the floor, more EU, gay marriage, more windmills, more green belt development, electricity bills to double.

      • 150
        Maq­boul says:

        “…controversial comments made by Leicestershire UKIP candidates on social media include Brett Lynes dismissing Parliament as ‘full of wankers’”.

        Brett’s just got my vote.

    • 140
      Wyle Cop says:

      Talk about old news being dredged up, Pienaar: Bloom said that about 4 years ago. The MSM’s faux outrage lasted about an hour until they discovered most employers were saying “bloody right, too, Bloom.”

      So why does a Beeboid twit this now? Answers on a postcard…

  5. 6
    nothing to c here. says:

    suck it and see….
    any f the vowels a,e,i,o,u.
    .
    a 4 amsterdam e 4 england iothem.
    .

  6. 7

    What Twitter will look like on Sunday, 28 April 2013:

    http://bit.ly/18cVv6n

    • 17
      UKIP says:

      Roll on 2015 !

      • 18
        Rinka Scott says:

        Once a dog starts barking it is very hard to stop him.

      • 172
        Village Idiot says:

        With the relentless rise of UKIP,and the bandwagon in full flow,where are the usual suspects jumping on this amazing,correct bandwagon???? …Nowhere to be seen,but heard to spout bile and desperately trying to rip the wheels off…The people are fed up of out of touch politicians,serving themselves and ignoring the wishes of the people they represent,enough!!!!!They have collectively destroyed our
        once Great country,and led us along the path of ruin,mainly for their own end….
        There must be another way and it does not include being ruled by Brussells…..

  7. 13
    Shooty* says:

    daft twat probably thinks it means he’s really popular and loved by the little people.

  8. 15
    ancientpopeye says:

    Bollock brain Balls?

  9. 22
    a non says:

    From Rich’s point of view Ed has obviously found his plaice in history

  10. 25
    Edward. says:

    In the cesspit of all the talentless – that is the UK Lav party and shadow cabinet, it takes a special sh*$ jockeying at the surface to stand out.

    Mr. Balls – swivelling and unpolished – consort and number two in the household to the termagant – the nation in awe of his blessed happenstance – it would make you mad too.

  11. 29
    Anonymous says:

    Farage is coming on LBC in a minute. I expect his posse of short, bald and angry bores are going to be knocking one out.

    • 43
      Ad Hominem says:

      You invoked me, how can I help?

      • 153
        Maq­boul says:

        They’ve seriously underestimated the threat from UKIP and the country’s desire to leave the EU (or at least to have a referendum). Now it’s too late and all they have is a bunch of feeble trolls making Damian like smears. Worked well for Brown did that strategy.

    • 95
      Anonymous says:

      The “deputy leader ” frightens me, he loks like a villain from a Bond film !

    • 165
      Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

      Yaayyyy… lets here from Labour instead, they are not morally bancrupt.

      http://labour25.com/

  12. 30
    Anonymous says:

    Pointless cartoon. I hope Guido doesn’t pay for this nonsense.

    • 39
      Hugh Janus says:

      Surely Rich pays Guido? At this rate it must be costing him a fortune.

      • 155
        Maq­boul says:

        he gets thr right to sell his original “artwork” on this site. Wonder how many he’s shifted?

    • 75
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      Probably now its Old Ruppie who unwittingly is paying by a roundabout route

      • 81
        The Millionaire Ed Milliband says:

        It is probably the taxpayer who is paying for all the Labour trolls on here, only in a more direct, but deeply corrupt route.

  13. 32
    Ron Barras says:

    It’s a week late. What next week, Chris Huhne out of control?

  14. 36
    BBC Breakfast's Susanna Reid says:

    Look at me, I’m a tory hater, and a true BBC lefty.

    • 104
      Man in the Street says:

      Still well worth a leg-over though, Luv..

      • 134
        Casual Observer says:

        A bendover would be better, then you wouldn’t be distracted by the left wing drivel dribbling out of her mouth.

  15. 38
    JabbaTheCat says:

    Middle Eastern Acting School

  16. 41
    Ed Balls says:

    I call out my own name when achieving a climax, so why should I not tweet my own name?

  17. 42
    HARD WORKING SELF EMPLOYED PERSON says:

    A lot of folks can’t understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in Britain .
    Well, there’s a very simple answer.
    Nobody bothered to check the oil.
    We just didn’t know we were getting low.
    The reason for that is purely geographical.

    Our OIL is located in The North Sea

    All Our DIPSTICKS are located in Westminster !!!
    Any Questions ???
    NO? I didn’t think so!!
    So now we know!

  18. 46
    Davick Cameregg says:

    Ken Clarke has a better wig

    • 54
      HARD WORKING SELF EMPLOYED PERSON says:

      Shame about the dead grey matter underneath it!

      • 84
        Old Blind Pugh says:

        Eventually it comes to most of us eventually as you get older, you just pray that you do not end up one of the unfortunate ones

  19. 53
    One of Kens Clowns says:

    I shall vote UKIP and never go back to the faux Tory party now. Bunch of shits

    • 65
      Mahatma Ghandi says:

      Same here.. the conservatives are a bunch of wet farts dancing to the beat of the EU drum, Cameron is Frau Merkels lapdog.. eagerly rolling on his back for a tickle from the teutonic twat. Vote UKiP for common sense and escape from the EUSSR.

      • 72
        Living in 97.1% white Merseyside says:

        Nige apart I couldn’t name anyone else from UKIP.

      • 73
        Fruitloop says:

        Yep. Vote UKIP – we need 5 more Labour years

        • 80
          Mahatma Ghandi says:

          Vote conservative and we won’t get out of Europe.. ever.. Cameron sold out.

          • Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

            Vote LibDem and we won’t ever get out Europe.

          • Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

            Vote Labour and we won’t ever get out of Europe.

        • 87
          Labour praying for a NO vote from the Scots says:

          It won’t be 5 years notwithstanding Fixed term parliament if the Scots vote for Independence 14 September 2014 as when Independence takes effect in 2016 the 60 Labour MPs representing Scottish Constituencies plus the few LibDems will be automatically disbarred from Westminster and the Labour majority will disappear and the Tories will call a motion of no confidence forcing an election and as the Labour inbuilt Scottish majority will have gone they’ll be unable to form a majority ever again.

          Why do you think Labour have agreed that Darling can front the NO campaign…they’re scared shitless that the Scots will vote YE

        • 180
          Us says:

          Vote UKIP

          if they win all is fine

          if they don’t, you won’t notice the difference whether the tories or labour win – more taxes, higher taxes, more immigration, more power handed over to the EU

          Vote UKIP – at least you can hold your head up high, knowing you did the right thing.

      • 103
        Anonymous says:

        ukip are a joke party, they are all talk. They cant even sort the nutters from the chaff to allow viable candidates to stand in the local elections ! this will backfire on them, if they cant manage some local councillors how can they run the country ? answer—– they cant, HAHaHaHaHaHaHa

        • 117
          Your fixation borders on mental illness, seek help says:

          That’s rich, you are the most bizarre, obsessive nutter, on this blog.

        • 128
          Fart in a thunderstorm says:

          Shall we wait till Friday?
          Ha, ho hummm….

        • 158
          Maq­boul says:

          Les McLuskey and Tom Watson run the Labour Party.

          I think most people would more likely trust Farage than those two cu­nts.

  20. 55
    Nigel Farridge says:

    What a tub of whale sperm

  21. 56
    Yvette Cooper's Balls says:

    All sperm no whale

  22. 58
    Mahatma Ghandi says:

    ED BALLS ED UP!

  23. 71
    albacore says:

    Well, ain’t it appalling if Destiny calls
    Out to LibLabCon men like Osborne and Balls?
    With everything pear-shaped, if they’re our best bet
    Though we’ll be “enriched”, we’ll be deeper in debt

    • 99
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      That seems to sum it up, no one has the answer, they just think they have.

  24. 82
    Ah! Monika says:

    Latest wheeze.
    Do the crime
    While on bail get tattoo (s)
    Claim you can’t be deported because you would be persecuted for having a tattoo back ‘home’

    • 98
      Judge Dread says:

      I am not impressed one jot by your argument .

      If you are resourceful enough to have a tattoo engraved then you can equally have it removed.

      Your Appeal is dismissed along with cost on the indemnity basis which to save time and trouble I will assess today at £5,486.16p plus VAT

    • 106

      The authorities should grab Abu Hamza.

      Tattoo I am a Christian prepared to die for my beliefs prominently all over him.

      Then send him home without ado.

  25. 83
    An unemployed lapdancer says:

    Balls is an irrelevant sideshow.

    Cameron Clegg and Milliband are united in their desire to keep UKIP away from the cameras.

    They will not succeed.

    • 88
      Cassandra says:

      The future is garlic bread.

      The future is Farage

      Next time a Bank calls for a bailout Balls will not be the answer.

      • 109
        Anonymous says:

        The sense of entitlement of ukip voters is staggering! they are parish council level people, who think they can run the world! sad.

        • 120
          Your fixation borders on mental illness, seek help says:

          Your fixation is staggering, you are an obsessive crank, sad.

        • 131
          albacore says:

          Having seen what the LibLabCon paragons do
          What is it that you think they are piling on you?
          You may not object to some free defecation
          But do spare a thought for what’s left of the nation

        • 132
          Hannibal from Carthage says:

          But can they do any worse than the big boys and girls who have attended the finest schools and restaurants in the EU?

          Time to find out methinks.

  26. 90
    Straight up says:

    Blair makes a fortune on lecture tours… and YOU pay for his accommodation: Outcry as former PM stays on taxpayer-fueled residences

  27. 97
  28. 110
    The Welch are all sheep shaggers says:

    Eeeeeed Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalls

    • 129
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      Do you feel better for that, you’ll feel much better after going to the lavatory

  29. 116
    Cookies for Questions says:
  30. 125
    Beppe Grillo says:

    Look no further than Italy for your inspiration.

  31. 130
    Dan Hodges says:

    ED BALLS.

  32. 137
    Dixon my cocks green says:

    Funny how all the rioting against the EU went almost unreported here last week
    General strike in Spain
    Riots in Greece and Belgium and else where
    And again yesterday and today in Greece as another 15,000 public sector jobs have to be cut in order that their begging bowl is topped up once again by the EU

    Breaking ! : Explosion in center of Prague

  33. 139
    CALL ME A TWAT but says:

    Can anyone explain how the royal opera house earns 70 million a year ?
    Tickets must be bloody expensive

  34. 145
    Speaker Bercow says:

    Ed Balls

  35. 156
    Herman van Rumpboy says:
    • 175
      Village Idiot says:

      My confidence in Europe,slumped in 1975…after the rigged election,that has led to
      our present dilema……

      • 186
        Mahatma Ghandi says:

        Heath the dirty stinking con merchant sold us down the shitty river, we are now floating on a sea of EU excrement in a ship which has been captained by successive wankers intent on taking us into the BermEUda triangle.
        Margaret Thatcher saw the writing on the wall but was pushed out by pro EU tory €unts who needed to protect their interests.
        Tony Blair took us further in and Cameron wants to be just like his hero Blair, a Tory Prime Minister admiring unarguably the most disgusting arsehole Labour prime minister we have ever had, it says a lot about the man. Cameron is a lying, conning Euro lover, looking for his nice little earner in the EU when his days ruining our country are over. Vote conservatives get EU.. simple.

        Vote UKiP.

  36. 157
    Mum for Hire. No job (criminal) too large or small. says:

    Has your son or daughter been caught smuggling drugs, charged with murder by foreign police, broken into another country’s defence computers or just generally been involved in offshore criminal activity?

    Then I’m your mum. Politicians sit up and take notice of mums, the TV cameras seek them out and the newspapers love the mum’s story.

    Choose mum power, it’s more powerful than the most powerful lawyer and has the power to let the guilty walk free.

  37. 190
    The Famous Toxic Taffy says:


Seen Elsewhere

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Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Ditch Tobacco Plain Packaging | Grassroots Conservatives
What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV
Dave Stung by Jellyfish | Sun
City Minister’s Inheritance Tax Dodging Trusts | Indy
What I Would Have Done if I was Sarah Wollaston | Iain Dale
Boris is an Epic Europhile | Louise Mensch
Warsi Got PM to Confront “Secular Fundamentalism” | Fraser Nelson
Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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