April 26th, 2013

Mary Creagh’s Lectures in Dodgy Attack Lines

Idiot of the day goes to Richard Benyon, the Environment minister and richest current MP who told poor families to stop wasting food this morning. You could always rely on Labour foghorn and Shadow Environment Secretary Mary Creagh to shoot herself in the foot with her response, however:

“Mums struggling to feed their families don’t need lectures on wrapping cheese from a Tory Government which has created a cost of living crisis with its failed economic plan.”

Roll back four years and then Labour DEFRA man Hilary Benn had a rather different attitude:

“As a nation we waste around £10 billion of food each year – a third of what we buy. Part of the problem is how food is labelled. Some 370,000 tonnes of food are chucked out each year after passing their ‘best before’ dates, despite being perfectly good, safe and edible. When you buy something from the supermarket it should be easy to know how long you should keep it for and how you should store it. Too many of us are throwing things away simply because we’re not sure, we’re confused by the label, or we’re just playing safe.”

Presumably it’s just Tories who aren’t allowed to lecture people, right Mary?


  1. 1
    Ivor Biggan says:



  2. 2
    John Page says:

    What’s the Welfare Party’s best before date?


  3. 4
    Ed Milibender says:

    I would not believe a word that drips from a socialist’s mouth!


  4. 6
    Ed Milibender says:

    If in doubt, chuck it out!


  5. 7
    Red Rum says:

    She would be the first in line screeching to throw away the stuff if it was infected with horse DNA…….


    • 31
      Anonymous says:

      Christ, now your talking – horse meat is wonderful – had this meal in France once, cured horse, thinly sliced – delish it was, with chips and salad. The blood was everywhere – my pate looked like a traffic accident. Gawd, shove anything in front of me, and I will eat it. Always wanted to go to the back end of Papua New Guinea for a holiday, if you get me…


  6. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Got some duck legs in the fridge from the co=op which I am about to shove on the frying pan with a plate on top to cook for a couple of hours. Favourite meat is duck, followed by veal. Ducks let are surprisingly cheap in the coo-op – seven quid for six. Lasts me a few days when I cook them. Veal? mmmmm too. Venison stew too, and rabbit, and hare when I can get it, or shoot one. Hare curry – gorgeous.


    • 15
      (I don't need no doctor) says:

      Careful otherwise the BBC will offer you a cookery series.


      • 29
        Anonymous says:

        Did you see that epsisode where Hugh Fernley-Wotsisname cooked crows breasts? Think that was channel 4 though. Like that too, well tasty. And then there is barbecued grey squirrel – I could go on. Would be in my element living in Australia in the outback eating roadkill.


        • 54
          Bluebottle says:

          Not much meat on a Squirrel and I much prefer them alive. Very cute, intelligent and entertaining critters.

          Of course some people say they should be culled for damaging trees and whatnot.

          If damage to the environment is the criterion then humans should be first for the chop.

          Canibalism? Bring it on!


          • Anonymous says:

            Have you tried crow? Spend the whole afternoon catching a couple of the buggers for a few piddly microscopic breasts. Mouthful canapés they are. Squirrels have more meat – it is all that jumping about in trees and eating nuts that does it.


          • Crow Man says:

            Have always understood that crows are not nice to eat.

            Thus the American expression ‘eating crow”.

            Also corvids are very intelligent (like squirrels) and should not be looked upon as the source of a quick snack for a dumb human.


          • Anonymous says:

            British crows taste alright, bit like pigeon. Must be down to diet.


    • 32
      the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

      is it just fancy packaged supermarket meat you go for or are you partial to the odd feast of red in tooth and claw hedgehog roadkill??


      • 48
        Anonymous says:

        It it’s cheap, I’ll eat it. Tried garden snails? Just chuck them into the frying pan with some garlic butter, and you will be impressed. Use a sowing needle to dig them out from their shells.


    • 33
      Tessa Tickles says:

      Panda meat is very succulent. We’ve got a couple of pandas in the back garden and they breed like rabbits. Fortunately, we figured out how to cook the cubs a few years ago, otherwise we’d have hundreds of the sodding things.


  7. 9
    Anonymous says:

    if it starts to pong, put it in the curry


    • 52
      Bluebottle says:

      Never found Milligan funny.

      I met him several times and a sadder, more bitter old cove you couldn’t wish to meet.

      He hated everybody, even his collaborators. He said ‘I don’t have any real friends now – their all fucking parasites’.

      He was quite good at ‘zany’ but he wasn’t really ever a ‘funny’ man.

      Harry Secombe and Peter Sellers were very funny and generous souls, Spike – not so much.


  8. 10
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Yet another example of a labour MP with mouth in overdrive and brain in neutral. How we hear labour saying that more women should be MPs. So labour just pick women although, like Creagh, they are as thick as two short planks.
    Eg. Creagh, Harman, Abbott, Thornberry, and many more.


  9. 11
    Anonymous says:

    She won’t be around after the next election. David Hinchcliffe would be turning in his grave if he was dead.


    • 13
      (I don't need no doctor) says:

      I swear labour MPs have had brain implants that prevents them recalling the period between 1997 – 2010. It’s not just poor old Vince, it’s the whole of labour.


      • 30
        It's all Fatchur's fault innit says:

        Be fair !!! You can’t expect them to have been responsible for anything that was said or done during that period. It was the Tories making them do it !!


  10. 14
    Sick followed about by Creeps in Edinburgh says:

    I can’t stand Labour and their sponging socialists. Since the days of Campbell’s spin you can believe a word they say anymore


    • 17
      Sick of being followed about by Creeps in Edinburgh says:

      I can’t stand Labour and their
      sponging socialists. Since the
      days of Campbell’s spin you
      CAN’T believe a word they say


      • 34
        the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

        Sorry can you repeat that I did ‘nt quite see or hear it the first two times


  11. 16
    George Galloway says:

    Creagh is just an amoeba.


  12. 19
    Ms Dionne Warwick says:

    Do you know the way to San Jose?


    • 22
      Ms Dionne Warwick says:

      Yeah, turn left at the traffic lights and it`s just past the small claims court.


      • 36
        the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

        walk on by


        • 53
          Anonymous says:

          Rated Anita Baker more – Christ, did she have soul,


          • Anonymous says:

            Then there is always is PP Arnold – I like my chocolate boxes I do, oh yes, I try them all,


          • Anonymous says:

            Got very friendly with a Sri Lankan in Singapore once, black as the ace of spades total gorgeous she was – Christ, no wonder I am not married, I am like marmite, I spread myself too thin, wellington boots in my pocket, if you get me. Dutch six footers, Germans, Italians, scandies, had them all, even a Nigerian, and she really had the hots for me. Christ – someone please put me down, I am disgusting!



  13. 20
    Ed Miliblunder says:

    Thanks for the endorsement Gullible George. Now fuck off!


  14. 21
  15. 23
    John Prescott says:

    Cheese? Fook that. Gimme a large chicken vindaloo, a large lamb madras, sag aloo, a bombay aloo, two pilau rice, keema nan, popadums, mango chutney, onion raita and a bottle of Cobra beer. Champion!


    • 28
      Death To Labour says:

      Crooked fat cnunt.


    • 51
      Anonymous says:

      Had a chicken timderloo once – never again – my throat was well sandpapered, and the gahndis revenge on the bog the next day? my arseole was on fecking fire.


  16. 24
    Peter Martin says:

    This latest foot-in-mouth highlights the parlous state of sensible policy communication thanks to the dire symbiotic understanding between today’s brain-dead politicians and venal media that needs them but will turn on them too, sooner than you can say ‘tomorrow’s ratings’.

    There will always be a Minister or MP now ready to open mouth before engaging brain.

    However, there is now a near inevitability that there will also be a Shadow version ready, willing and able to place not one, but both feet in their mouths in response, and shoot both, using nothing but tired old attack lines, lame PR points of their own and, as evidenced, a spectacular inability to remember history, much less learn from it.

    Thing is, it will no longer matter.

    Because thanks to the unique way the UK media is run and/or funded, the only thing that will make broadcast mainstream is the howler and the supposed killer sound bite.

    All else will be deemed too much to fit in a twitter line or mobile-sized headline. And no £100k a year moppet will be reading out or counter-interviewing with anything contrary unless her £200k a year producer allows it on her teleprompter or whispers it in her earpiece.

    Hence we will be treated more and more to the calibre of representative embodied by Mr. Benyon & Ms. Creagh, ‘led’ in turn by a David Cameron or Ed Miliband.

    Good to fill the dead air from Today to Newsnight; not so great when running a country, other than into the ground.

    The ‘B Ark awaits them all, politician or ‘news’ ‘journalist’, if there is any hope.


  17. 25
    Ed Miliblunder stroking his cat says:

    Wheesh. Here pussy pussy! I wove you George my puddy cat. Yes my puddy puddy cat you are wonderfooool. Puss Puss.

    That should do the trick!


  18. 27
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    Talking of food labelling i could not have hoped for abetter segue to inroduce the following story ( aploggies if you ve alreadt seen it )

    A supermarket chain has withdrawn bags of nuts from sale – because they contain nuts.
    Booths decided to pull its Whole Hearted Roasted Monkey Nuts from the aisles because its label does not declare it contains peanuts.
    The firm has stores in Lancashire, Cumbria, Yorkshire, Cheshire, and a recently-opened branch at MediaCityUK in Salford.
    A spokesman for the company said: “Booths is withdrawing some batches of its Whole Hearted Roasted Monkey Nuts, because the presence of peanuts is not declared on the label. This makes the product unsuitable for anyone with an allergy to peanuts.

    The ONLY saving grace to this story is that the stores appear to be a chain operating North of Watford and therefore excusable on the lack of IQ front !!!


    • 44
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      What next– they’ll ask that, to comply with labelling, prepared plum puddings contain an actual plum product, like prune jam? Might not be such a bad idea at that, to help you shit out your Christmas dinner before it can add half a stone to your weight, but really– wouldn’t slivovitz be a better choice?


    • 70
      Curly says:

      Packets of monkeys’ nuts contain nuts? It’s a load of balls….


  19. 38
    Leveson Rules says:

    Ha ha ha cowardly Hunt


  20. 39
    Le\/eson Rules says:

    Censorship is in overdrive here I’m afraid.

    This blog’s credibility = ZERO


  21. 40
    thincat1 says:

    Melvyn Bragg and Sir David Hare the playwright discussing British society in this weeks’ New Statesman and particularly the lack of shame in public life, prior to this recent comment :

    “DH It seems extraordinary to me that someone who overclaimed his expenses and had to pay back £7,000 to the state is now Secretary of State for Education. I find that unbelievable. Similarly, Liam Fox, who abused his position in the Ministry of Defence, is now making remarks about the economy that we’re expected to take seriously. There used to be something called “disgrace”. How right-wing papers can publicise Fox’s views as if they’re a serious threat to the Prime Minister when he so abused his position, I simply don’t understand.”


    • 43
      Faffnyr says:

      This lack of shame is precisely what bothers me. Grant Shapps recently lied about the number of rooms he has in his house in order to make a point about the bedroom tax. He was caught out and what happened? Absolutely nothing, because apparently telling bare-faced lies about your life in support of policy is perfectly acceptable


      • 45
        Notjarvis says:

        Grant Shapps is a particularly egregious case of No Shame.

        He’s been caught out repeatedly:
        Using a fake name to peddle get rich quick schemes
        He’s caught out faking twitter followers
        He’s been caught out editing his own Wikipedia pages for his own ends
        He’s been caught out (more than once) making utterly factually incorrect assertions on Benefits etc.

        But his career goes on untouched


    • 46
      foxhunter says:

      Fox is a disgraced, corrupt ex-minister. Why should anyone listen to his ravings about anything?


    • 61
      Phil says:

      What about the other side of the coin then – Mandelson’s mortgage, Prescott’s shaxxing staff on duty, The dodgy dossier, Dr Kelly’s suicide, cash for honours, Ecclestone’s donation, Baroness Scotland’s hired help,Labour cabinet ministers multiple flipping houses like they were going out of fashion, Blair’s and gorbals mick’s expenses mysteriously shredded, Brown slagging his own supporter?
      When it comes to shame Labour makes the tories look like amateurs.
      Melvyn Bragg and Hare discussing lack of shame in the New Statesman without mentioning one Labour peccadillo only confirms to me just how far advanced their dementia is.


  22. 41
    Leveson Rules says:

    Biggest hypocrite in the media is Guido


  23. 48
    Heil Cameron says:

    I think the Tory leaders have forgotten quite how unpopular they are with the general public. This is a party that hasn’t won an election since 1992. It’s a party that had to wait until Cameron was leader, untainted by association with the Thatcher government, to stand a chance of winning. And even then, couldn’t get a majority against the monumentally unpopular Brown.

    They believe their own guff about Thatcher, it will be their undoing again.


    • 50
      Bernie The Bolt says:

      We are paying now for the giveaway of our assets under Thatcher.
      Soaring energy bills brought to you by a privatised cartel / energy supplier oligopoly
      Soaring water rates brought to you by privatised monopolies
      Above inflation rises in already over-priced and ridiculously over-complicated rail fares

      Then there are the other benefits that Thatcher’s reckless and intellectually dumb policies have delivered over four decades.
      Profits put before environmental protection
      Mass avoidance of corporation tax
      Flight of capital to offshore tax havens
      Insider trading rampant in the deregulated City
      The financial crash of 2008 as a direct result of market deregulation
      Housing bubbles of the 1980s and 2000s
      Corruption across Government in every department
      Corruption in the media and police

      Why on earth would any sane rational person want more of the incompetence introduced by Thatcher?


  24. 58
    Anne. says:

    Doesn’t matter who says it – there is a scandelous waste of food in the Country!Who’s bright idea was it to put sell by dates etc.on food? Surely anyone with a grain of intellegence can tell if food is OK to eat!!


  25. 59
    MB. says:

    I thought Shaun Woodward was one of the richest MPs, is the money in his wife’s name?


  26. 60
    Anonymous says:

    Was on about yesterday that I thought there was a party going on somewhere, but it was the gy po fair has turned up in my village, Cross Hands – they come every year, dodgem cars and candy floss and toffee apples and all that. lovely fellas and ladies they are – a right throw back to old travelling fairs. The music is banging out from there as I type, about a mile away. Cross Hands is an old travelling peoples stop off, and we have always respected them, so maybe that is why they come each year here still.


  27. 66
    Gordon Brown says:

    I eat my own shit. I’m not recyling, i just like it.


  28. 69
    hangbliarafterafairtrial says:

    Perhaps Richard Benyon should have asked someone else to make a very sensible point, which Benn had made earlier. Lots of food, particularly chocolate, well outlast the best before date. Poor people are often poor because they just blow their slender resources on big TVs, instead using the money to study or buy a good suit. Looking after the pennies (watching the money spent on everything like a hawk), makes for a decent old age.

    Also force feed the Bliar some outdated food, with some lethal fungus on it.

    Gordon, just keep taking the pills. Put that thing down.


  29. 73
    Raptor says:

    Bragg and Hare are “discussing British society…”

    They sound more like a couple of nineteenth century body-snatchers, disinterring British socialism.


  30. 74
    Mark Wouters. says:

    The home secretary is once again getting hers and Camertons knickers in a twist ,and someone has artificially inseminated clegg and hague ?using religion against different ethnic groups (ie legislating and using british law against their religious beliefs ) in this country will backfire,as a white british unable to afford a passport ,this FASCIST REGIME is now trying to stop me enjoying people of other cultures from living here and mixing with me,this ETHNIC CLEANSING MUST STOP,Lets just Deport the Tory and Liberal democrats and all members of the Royal Family,PLEASE,that will bring sums to the correct total.


Seen Elsewhere

Scotland Shows Eurosceptics How to Win | Chris Deerin
Sack Dougie | Damian McBride
Justice for England | Paul Goodman
Balls Still Wants to Spend, Spend, Spend | Mark Wallace
Chuka and Reeves on Manoeuvres | Mail
Don’t Allow Brussels Home Rule | Matt Ridley
Government Needs 10.6% Spending Cuts To Meet Target | IFS
What We Learned From the Referendum | FT
Scottish Crisis Moves South | Nick Wood
English Democrats Accidentally Celebrate Yes Victory | Pink News
Union In Its Current Form is Dead | Janan Ganesh

Find out more about PLMR

Diane Abbott on the Daily Politics:

“Labour MPs will unite behind Ed Miliband, once we find out what our policies are.”

cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,468 other followers