April 25th, 2013

Nice Work, If You Can Get It

parli

It’s Four in the afternoon, in the middle of the working week.

Do you know where your MP is?

Via @Bishop_of_Souls

103 Comments

  1. 1
    Havocman says:

    Given that it’s Vernon Coaker, he’s probably on a bloody sun bed…..

    Like

    • 21
      V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

      The bloodsucking parasites will be out in the sunshine because only the little people have to work.

      Like

    • 26
      Anonymous says:

      Its 4 in the afternoon, the middle of the working week…….and Guido is hard at work propping up a bar before driving home with an open bottle in one hand.

      Like

      • 45
        Andrew Efiong says:

        He’s not working at my expense., he doesn’t claim a penny in taxes or subsidies.

        Like

        • 61
          A Droyd says:

          For God’s sake, it’s still lunch time!

          Like

        • 64
          Anonymous says:

          Drink and dive and duck

          Like

        • 65
          Anonymous says:

          CHRIST – there is a house party going on down the street at the moment – fuck knows why, the music is banging there. Maybe some eighteen year old girlie is having her birthday party maybe – will report later…..

          Like

        • 102
          Bloke says:

          “Do you know where your MP is?”

          Yes. She’s sat on her fat public sector arse. In the pub.

          Like

    • 29
      Boris's Mum says:

      They are all out celebrating the genius of George Osborne who has rescued the nation from recession.

      Praise him!

      Like

      • 48
        I wonder says:

        Is Sally busy?

        Like

        • 49
          Django says:

          Im sure they are all hard at work, talking,talking talking talking….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

          Like

          • Hugh Who says:

            They have all gone to see my latest movie, starring me, but I haven’t been mentioned in the papers for absolutely ages. Must have a word with Divine I’m sure she’ll remember me. Feeling Hacked off though, no mentions in press.

            Like

    • 55
      Ed Miliband's Diary says:

      Today started badly when I awoke to discover the water bed had been leaking again during the night. Then I recalled I have never owned a water bed.

      All quiet in The Commons. Then Ed Balls turned up asking to borrow a fiver. He said he had a red-hot twenty-to-one cert for the four-thirty, whatever that means. I said he’d have to ask Justine as I’ve already lent him all my pocket money this week.

      Labour Party support seems to have tipped back into recession of late. I tried to organise a sing-song among the backbenchers to raise morale, but nobody wanted to join in with “We’re on the road to nowhere.” I really don’t know what else to do.

      Like

  2. 2
    Panem.et.circenses says:

    Strangers bar?

    Like

  3. 3
    Steve Miliband says:

    I can see Gordon. Oh wait a sec…

    Like

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Sorry I’d rather they weren’t passing any laws, we have enough already

    Like

  5. 5
    Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:

    Out on the verandah, watching all the trash and C-list wannabes.

    Like

  6. 7
    The Right Honourable George Osborne Mp says:

    We have a slow & difficult recovery because of difficulties in the banking system, but I think we’ve got a very clear message, a loud and clear message that Britain cannot let up in dealing with its debts, dealing with its problems, cannot let up in making sure that Britain can pay its way in the world.

    Like

  7. 8

    It’s what we call light touch government. There’s a lot to be said for the approach and we should have more of it.

    Like

  8. 9
    Sheila Gilmore is a socialist moron says:

    ” Do you know where your
    MP is?”

    Sheila Gilmore, the socialist moron is staring at milk until it curdles.

    Like

    • 15
      Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

      If she’s a socialist (the word ‘moron’ is superfluous in this context), it won’t tajke her long to curdle the milk.

      Like

  9. 10
    Red Ed Militwit. says:

    I am having my arse ridden by the unions.

    Like

  10. 11
    Hope Springs Infernal says:

    It’s just a pity it isn’t always like this.

    Like

  11. 12
    Sarah says:

    Its mid week expenses paperwork time. Damn that accountability to the taxpayer….

    Like

  12. 12
    YorkshireLad says:

    And Gove wants to shorten school holidays!

    Like

    • 81
      Percy Pilbeam says:

      The poor lambs, they are overworked, and the ministers don’t have a minute to themselves and young Gove is the hardest working of the lot, please realise he needs the rest time or he will not be able to come up with sound bites and new reforms to the education system.

      Like

  13. 16
    Sarah says:

    Andrew Bridgen. Nice chap, probably counting spuds or something.

    He needs to join Ukip fast if he wants to keep the Westminster gig.

    Like

  14. 17
    No Show Brown says:

    Today I am the invisable man. Same as yesterday.

    Like

  15. 18
    Kun Tea Bollox says:

    They’re all at an expenses claiming workshop.
    £22 million a year doesn’t just turn up in their bank accounts by magic FFS.

    Like

  16. 19
    Phil Pott says:

    Won’t they all be in the bar now? They might crawl back later. Is there a ‘chucking out time’ now?

    Like

  17. 20
    Zzzzzz says:

    Lazy bastards.

    Like

  18. 22
    Nick says:

    Dave’s gone to the European Commission to collect his orders. Ed’s learning French and searching out a little notebook and pencil because he thinks that it is his turn next.

    Like

    • 60
      Ed Miliband says:

      I’m effluent in French already.

      Je m’appelle David et j’ai douze ans. Je suis un pomme-de-terre sans idees. J’aime le sport, petit pois. Regardez la television, il est dans cette rue.

      Like

  19. 23
  20. 25

    Ah, but the Speaker’s sitting. Look. You can just see the top of his head.

    Like

  21. 27
    Gullible George Galloway. says:

    I am chasing the profits oops prophets. My bank account is doing very well from this liberal capitalism thingy which is why I despise it! I fucking despise being forced to profit from capitalism. I hate you all. I am glad the bytch is dead. She is to blame for my wealth.

    Like

  22. 30
    The savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    siobhain mcdonagh is probably conducting a major restocking of her stationery cupboard in anticipation of bombarding her constituents with more cyclostyled missives about nothing in particular in an effort to appear busy .

    Like

  23. 31
    Sue d'Nymme says:

    Bomb alert on Twitter? Hopefully for real this time.

    Like

  24. 32
    Dodgy Bets R Us. says:

    Roll up. Roll up! What’s the odds handikapkok will be out on his arse next week?

    Like

  25. 33
    The savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    Quite . simple explanation .

    they had to vacate urgently owing to a decades long build up of hot air and halitosis combining with an effluent of mould and fungal growth risking a repetition of the black death in westminster palace .

    not acceptable apparently under Health and Safety.

    Like

    • 88
      Simple Simon says:

      The black death was apparently caused by [deserting] rats – so they were obviously in the right place there!

      Like

  26. 34
    Adam Farrell says:

    If the chamber’s empty they’re not making a mess of laws, the economy or such. It looks tidier that way too.

    Like

  27. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Drugs, Dirty Dancing and Pounding techno music

    Like

  28. 38
    Boring Bullshitting Cockstains -BBC says:

    We despise you all. Jog On.

    Like

  29. 40
    oh my, the footwork! says:

    Can’t see what the complaint is about except for the fact we pay taxes and expenses to people who pretend to run this country, when we all know it’s the EU el presidenti’s and EU’s so called civil service.

    Like

  30. 41
    Whats the point says:

    £3.6m for the funeral costs of one of our greatest leaders.
    Less than the average ‘earnings’ of a premiership nancyboy football player.
    Get a fucking life all of you detractors. While I’m at it 14hr shift finished today, won’t see the wife who does 12 hr shifts, for week and half. I’m not complaining so get a fucking job you scoungers. Endorsed by Budweiser.

    Like

    • 89
      Simple Simon says:

      Budweiser? Blimey mate, after all that you could at least get yourself a decent ale to quaff.

      Like

  31. 43
    max bygraves says:

    There’s a lot of rubbish on here about entitlement. Let me tell you of my neighbour. A married man who can only spend 30 days in the country because he doesn’t want to pay tax. He has properties in other countries such as Australia, Ireland and South Africa. He has an inherited title and likes everyone to call him ‘sir’ rather than by first name. He recently was in this country to attend to some matters such as reposting his boundaries. In conversation with me he said reposting was necessary to keep the cattle from roaming across boundaries. When I asked him if he was going to keep cattle he said no. His land is arable and he grows for the animal feed market. So after a couple of days effort on his part he had completed those areas he wanted to do in the time before he had to leave the country. I walked around my garden to find that he had tied all his new posts to the trees in my garden, on my land without even asking.

    Like

    • 63
      Don't be taken for a mug says:

      I hope you cut the ties

      Like

      • 90
        Simple Simon says:

        Quite right. Remove the posts and replace them firmly (try cementing them in) on your own borders, otherwise you will eventually be involved in disputes over where the lines are.

        Like

  32. 44
  33. 47
    Ron Barras says:

    These scummers are taking the public for a ride. Anyone with an attendance record of 90% should be assessed by ATOS.

    Like

  34. 51

    I was having a bit of a snooze and woke up and just saw your piece.
    Can’t believe they’ve all buggered off and no one knocked the door to say it was home time.
    Look at the bloody time. I’ve never been here so late on a Thursday before.
    I’ll be stuck in all the ordinary people’s commuter time. Trains packed and smelling of Burger King and Lynx Africa and Nina Ricci Fantasy.
    All those Swedes with bloody rucksacks the size of their house and office slappers comparing tit tattoos.

    Oh..the horror..

    Why didn’t I wake up at 3pm! I’d be home by now and starting the weekend.

    I blame the cuts.

    Like

    • 56
      Nice work...if you can get it !! says:

      They’ve all been “Prorogued”, Bill, until State Opening by HMQ on 8 May then they do about 2 weeks light legislating before going into recess 24 May until 11 June then they areoff again on until 17 July when they go o their summer hols until 3 September

      Like

  35. 52
    Ol' Crummy says:

    They did heed my admonition at last!
    They departed, and we have had done with them!
    (Although somehow, methinks, ’twas not “in the name of God” they went, but ’tis sufficient unto the day the GOOD thereof, for a change…)

    Like

  36. 53
    Edinburgh junkie injecting heroin into the piles of my anus. Otherwise known as QE! says:

    Sheila Gilmore is an Old witch. You have to be a thicko to vote for her. Edinburgh dogshite populates her constituency.

    Like

  37. 57
    Jack the Ripper says:

    Actually the MPs are there, but they’re striking a blow for greater transparency.

    Like

    • 92
      Simple Simon says:

      Have no fear, Jack. We have all been able to see right through them for several years now.

      Like

  38. 59
    old Shep says:

    Standing room only when they debated this one, positively swinging from the rafters.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-58411/MPs-vote-yes-extra-31-000.html

    Like

  39. 62
    I know where my MP won't be... says:

    Doubtless mine won’t be in the Northern Ireland Assembly chamber either, where he is also a full time fully expensed politician.
    …and spectacularly useless as well

    Like

  40. 67
    Anonymous says:

    Catrin O’Neill has just sent me a message – sweet girl – here is her on welsh telly a couple of years ago, and no, I haven’t smashed her, yet……

    Like

  41. 68
    Jimmy says:

    They had to clear out. Schapps has it booked out for a private function.

    Like

    • 93
      Simple Simon says:

      Jolly good! A much better use of the place than churning out all the EU based crapola.

      Like

  42. 69
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

    We good people of Twickenham have short memories. It helps tremendously.

    Like

  43. 70
    All MPs are scum says:

    At least the useless b******s aren’t there making things worse.

    Like

  44. 71
    David says:

    Taking the piss.

    Like

  45. 72
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Diane Abbott and Emily Thornberry both dropped their guts at the same time. The place cleared in 10 seconds flat.

    Like

  46. 73
    fitz fitz says:

    Who is in the Candy’s Maybach ?

    Like

  47. 75
    STARVIN MARVIN ABBOTT says:

    Having hot bananas inserted up his arse by madam whiplash round at the dungeon ?

    Like

  48. 78
    Viv says:

    There really should be an element of MP salary which is dependent on the number of appearances in the House.

    And what would poor Gordon do then?

    Like

    • 94
      Simple Simon says:

      In case you missed it, Gordon is now firmly ensconced on the UN gravy train – and thus has no real need of his MP’s paltry stipend.

      Like

  49. 80
    HenryV says:

    As all our laws come from the EU who cares where they are?

    Like

  50. 82
    Where's Afriye - my MP for Windsor? says:

    Is he out plotting an overthrow?

    Like

  51. 83
    The normal British voter. says:

    Where are they, you ask. Busy fiddling their expenses.

    Like

  52. 86
    Copt Hill says:

    I hope my MP (Bridget Phillipson) Labour is trying to sort out the accounts at Wearside Women in Need where she formerly worked. Nothing has been submitted to the Charity Commission for years although Sunderland Council still gives them mega-bucks.

    Like

  53. 97
    Baron Bomburst says:

    They are all filling in expense claim forms in the heavily-subsidised bar, of course.

    Like

  54. 99
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    Just about sums up what a worthless load of workshy tossers they are. They will be scoffing cheap food and booze and fiddling their expense claims. Cnuts the lot of them.

    Like

  55. 100
    Herod says:

    The bugger’s in the subsidized bar!

    Like

  56. 101
    Hertford and Stortford says:

    Anyone seen Mark Prisk MP, Housing Minister? £10 for the correct answer

    EMOH TA : REWSNA

    Like

  57. 103
    davo says:

    Given that the meta data on the photograph shows it was created on Weds 17th April, I guess they would be at Margaret Thatcher’s funeral.

    Like


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Christie Malry @fcablog

Ed Miliband does photo oops, not photo ops


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