April 24th, 2013

JLS Were Doomed


  1. 1
    McDoom's wife says:

  2. 2
    Nick says:

    Never heard of them.

  3. 3
    They're all running scared says:

    Right, I do hope Justin Bieber visits him soon..

  4. 4
    Immer Wieder says:

    so glad that gurning sociopath is out

  5. 5
    Anon...........but Voting UKIP.ORG says:

    Why had McMental shi*t himself again…?????

  6. 6
    Will.socialists.ever.stop.being.hypocrites says:

    Liblabcon are like washing powder. Different packaging but virtually the same inside.

  7. 7
    tpfkar says:

    I never noticed that Gordon unbuttoned his shirt between takes before!

  8. 8
    Anon says:

    Well I’m sure there’d have been a tory photo op too, if only they were white.

  9. 9
    Will.socialists.ever.stop.being.hypocrites says:

    I always knew she had a prick but thought it was just her husband.

  10. 10

    She’d be less impressed if she knew it was there for those men that pretend to be babies.

  11. 11
    Gonk III says:

    Does Gordon wax or shave ?

  12. 12
    Immer Wieder says:

    i get it, because all conservatives hate black people and can’t even stand their presence! haha!

  13. 13
    Lord Stansted says:


  14. 14
    Will.socialists.ever.stop.being.hypocrites says:

    I think the white honky is demonstrating how to throw a Nokia.

  15. 15
    Bill Haley says:

    Confiscate Bieber – free the monkey

  16. 16
    Steve Miliband says:

    No doubt we paid for the trip.

  17. 17

    Handy if you are changing his nappy.

  18. 18
    Gordon's brown eye says:


  19. 19
    Steve Miliband says:

    Don’t know about you Sarah, but I didn’t want to change my babies – they were fine as they were.

  20. 20
    They're all running scared says:

    Ol’ Brown gettin down wid da yoof.. yo Brown.. me needs some bling.. you still got some in da vault or you sold it all?

  21. 21
    Just a Thought says:


    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour.

    You have 2 cows
    The State takes both and gives you some milk.

    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income.


    You have two cows.

    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.


    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

    You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.


    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
    You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive.

    You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
    You eat both of them.
    The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
    The IMF loans you two cows
    You eat both of them.
    The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
    You are out getting a haircut.

    You have two cows.
    One of them is a horse.

  22. 22
    FOX NEWS Press Alert says:

    BREAKING: UK boy band JLS are to split….. in other news, a couple from Portugal have applied for planning permission to build a conservatory.

  23. 23
    Kent Constable says:

    Thats Gordon Showing off his favoured downhill skiing position, followed by the flinging of the release… He is really depraved

  24. 24
    Gordon Brown says:

    British bands for British audiences

  25. 25
    Albert hall says:

    Poor Gordon so misaligned. Can’t someone put him out of his misery? I’d feel so much better knowing i would not be paying into his pension pot. I don’t object to paying a couple of quid towards his funeral.

  26. 26
    Gordon Brown says:

    They were fucking shit. Unlike the Arctic Monkeys

  27. 27
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Another ditto.

  28. 28
    Gordon the Medicated says:


    That bastard Dave is about to beat my record for being PM.
    3 years I manged to cling on for. Three coup attempts and I was still there.

    I was even still there another week after I’d lost and the country had booted me out.

    And now that toff ponce is going to have lasted longer than me! There is no justice!

  29. 29
    Prince Vultan says:

    Gordon’s a liar!

  30. 30

    Very good.

    And the German cows ?

  31. 31
    Gonk III says:

    They sing and do little dance numbers on the television.

  32. 32
    beast says:

    Your husband is always in mens “restrooms” anyway they are called BOGS you Americanised slut

  33. 33
    Labour Party says:

    We have two dead ducks both called Ed. Fancy a swap?

  34. 34
    beast says:

    the Arctic Monkeys must surely be next

  35. 35
    doran doran says:

    oaf muzak

  36. 36
    Merkel says:

    They are Kuh over here.

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    Bring back the Jackson Five. ok ok, Jackson Four then…

  38. 38
    beast says:

    Id happily carry the coffin in full dress uniform with tears (of laughfter) in my eyes before burying him next to his fellow nonce Jimmy Savile

  39. 39
    Steve Miliband says:

    ..I don’t know, what have a I got if I have one moth ball in this hand and another mothball in this hand?

  40. 40
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Ooh, look! The one on the right is wearing his baseball cap back to front! How cool!

    I bet he comes from some gh-etto, the Bronx, maybe.

    Oh. He’s from Peterborough.

  41. 41
    Urgent says:

    Can someone please arrange for Gordon to meet U2?

  42. 42
    Nancy Mitford says:

    You seriously dno’t think she does her own tweets do you? She probably has an Americanized filipina to all that sort of thing

  43. 43
    Gordon Brown-Stuff says:

    Cannae ye see Mr Guido….I’m one cool dude….cannae ye see me giving the finger……?

    And anyway I was only really ever destined to be a hard Number Two…..

  44. 44
    Bag Carrier says:

    How else is going to stuff all the cheques in under his vest?

  45. 45
    Tessa Tickles says:

    You have two cows.
    You put them in your neighbour’s field, which is now your field. Your neighbour’s cows disappear during the night.

    You have two cows, but they left home 20 years’ ago without telling anyone where they were going and you haven’t seen them since.
    There are strange mooing noises coming from your cellar.

  46. 46
    beast says:


    Pervert meets dj

  47. 47
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    They will have to split if (know don’t laugh) global warming melts all the arctic ice.

    They can’t drop the Arctic from their name because they will be confused with the Monkees.

  48. 48
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:


  49. 49
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    JLS who or what is that, some sort marketing company

  50. 50
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Gordon’s telling them about his plan to pre-announce the selling of 400 tons of gold.

  51. 51
    Phil says:

    Just a wild arsed guess but is the one in the middle their Dad?

  52. 52
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Quelle mong. “Don’t ask”? Don’t bring it up. You had just as well told us not to think of pink elephants. Which, come to think of it, are some things you may have seen once or twice in your life, on a very difficult morning after, when it all got too much for you being married to That Man. You certainly don’t sound like you gave this Tweet much sober thought: “Gordon/one of my sons told me they have a nappy-changing board and receptacle in the gent’s”– still more than we needed to know, but a shitload less risible, you’ll pardon the expression.

  53. 53
  54. 54
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    …potentially, two decent lines of naphthalene, dear.

  55. 55
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    That depends where

  56. 56
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    See the 2 Geedoes they have plenty of gelt

  57. 57
    Alexsandr says:

    JML. they do hardware.

  58. 58
    Jeremy Vinyl says:

    Are The Smurfs still going?

  59. 59
    Tay King-dePisse says:


    You have two cows. Only thing is, they’re steers.
    But WTF, they were a practically a steal– who cares if they don’t give milk?

  60. 60
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    What have U2 done to you, that’s terrorism you know

  61. 61
    young Shep says:

    Will 400 tons be sufficient for your average Rap bands bling?. Go Bro!.

  62. 62
    Lily Savage says:

    This is interesting, albeit off of Wiki:

    Older-formula mothballs have also been used by drag racers to enhance the octane value of fuel by dissolving the mothballs in some of the fuel and filtering out the remains with a filter paper.

  63. 63
    CCHQ Press Officer says:

    ‘Fivefold rise in foodbanks use’ Just rejoice in that news….VOTE TORY !!!!!!!


  64. 64
    all knowledge is in the dark. says:

    Below red is black.
    Red light can reveal all.
    .Red is all knowing.
    .We live in the give with one hand and take with the other 3. Number 4 is The Servant…gives 23 and gets it all back.

  65. 65
    FOX NEWS Press Alert says:

    The traffic lights in the High St aren’t working..Mrs Smith has dropped her shopping..

  66. 66
    Steve Miliband says:


    You have two cows.
    They want to be independent from England but want them to pay for them.
    England want them to stay in Scotland

  67. 67
    nellnewman says:

    LOL! Old country remedy – hang mothballs in victoria plum trees to deter wasps at fruiting time.

  68. 68
    nellnewman says:

    We need gordon to endorse militwit with as much enthusiasm as galloway has done.!!

  69. 69
    Ian Dunghole Smut says:

    I look forwards to Mr Brown’s funeral. Mrs T’s was a cracker! That showed the Argies. Who are the young people? Do they have visas?

  70. 70
    nellnewman says:

    I’m still trying to work out why we need food banks when welfare benefits are so high. What are people doing with their benefits if not spending them on food?

  71. 71
    DEFRA says:

    They’ve got to get rid of those old Findus “horse” lasagnes somehow.

  72. 72
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    I prefer a fifty-fifty mix of AvGas and super-unleaded in the Hillman, dear. I can be in Eastbourne within the hour.

  73. 73
    Gonk III says:

    You have two cows. They’re strangely effected by alcohol.
    They both get pissed one night and jump off a cliff.
    Very few cows in Norway.

  74. 74
    Hard Headed Atheist Nun says:

    Word of advice, akiitd…. lower the dosage. You keep slipping into a coma and typing with your nose.

  75. 75
  76. 76
    Gonk III says:

    Cutlery goes missing in Haverfordwest.

  77. 77
    with respect 2 all. says:

    Brown is a baby.
    Asia is 4.
    Like a God baby sucks of the universal tit..the heart on the left of the physical body.
    .Hate Brown is a Hate God project.The God who created all. Given that life,death,happi,sad is in the heart…the physical world is enlightening us, about our precise relationtionship with god.

  78. 78
    Ghost of Marx (Groucho) says:

    I have a feeling he isn’t actually anyones dad. I think his wife’s children are “grudge” babies.

    Someone had it in for him.

  79. 79
    Tay King-dePisse says:


    You have two cows.
    They’re as greedy as you are, and all three of you game the benefits system.

  80. 80
    simon r says:

    for christ sake woman – who fucking cares !!!

  81. 81
    Lary Gineker says:

    Reposted, and with grateful thanks to Bazinga! who found this:

    That last picture of the Jock mozzie and the Hammas guy – does anyone else think they look like two “Gaza Wanderers” supporters who have just seen their top striker miss a sitter from 10 yards?

  82. 82
    simon r says:

    sarah brown finds baby changing facilities in foreign airport loo

  83. 83
    gordon says:

    i met obama you know, do you homies play basketball too ?

  84. 84
    Anonymong says:

    Behave Gordon! You couldn’t save a penalty taken by Stephen Hawking.

  85. 85
    Magaluf Engerlander says:

    And Farage and UKRAP are like a honey cart -excellent at getting away with taking the piss, while being full of sh1t as well.

  86. 86
    Magaluf Engerlander says:


  87. 87
    Truth said says:

    I bet those lads have a joyful feeling of superiority sitting next to jonah the ex Prime Mentalist. It is difficult to think that he was once in charge of running this Country although he was never elected and we (the World) have been in deep shite since.

  88. 88
    Anonymong says:

    BBC Cows

    They cost a lot, keep the milk for themselves and offer up bullshit to those that feed them.

  89. 89
    joe bonanno says:



  90. 90
    an insurance says:

    Faith in GB is faith in god.
    Changin the subject Do we need a pro work society. Work 4 nothing Servants of the ppl. A family is that. Widen the famili…

  91. 91
    Cynial-old-bag says:

    The mere thought of Gordon trying to be cool is more than enough for one day.

  92. 92
    njl100 says:

    Is that an Eton tie he is wearing? Something he’s not told us perhaps.

  93. 93
    jdseanjd says:

    Gorgon Broon would make a perfect replacement for Barosso.

    That’d doom the EU project even more quickly. :)

  94. 94
    Curly says:

    She’d be even more impressed of she’d discovered the tampon burner in the corner!

  95. 95
    An oldie for the pensioners says:

    We’re in the army now
    and went to milk the cow.
    We pulled its tail instead of its tit
    and all we got was a bucket sh*t.

  96. 96
    Bazinga! says:

    Look like a couple of twats for sure.

  97. 97
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    bogs ??

    whatever happened to kazis ??

  98. 98
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:


    what does jls stand for J Lo’s Schizophrenia ??

  99. 99
    Anonymous says:

    If you think I am going to read all that crap through, you must be delusional. I thought I was bad spouting on but you fella, you take the biscuit. Have you ever heard of the English literature phrase of “summary”?

  100. 100
    My DNA goes back longer than yours here says:

    yeh but the sun can be hot on the back of neck

  101. 101
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Brown’s a clunt!!

  102. 102
    Max By Graves says:

    Ditto x 100

  103. 103
    Max By Graves says:


    You have two cows.

    The State borrows £1 billion on the securty of the Cow without your concent. They piss the money down a well then make you the loan back. Meanwhile your cow has died.

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