April 24th, 2013

Guardian Misfire on Qatada ECHR Withdrawal

A big scoop for the Guardian’s home affairs editor Alan Travis…

…but one that will remain exclusive. Theresa May has confirmed withdrawal has not been agreed, so a spectacular misfire from the Guardian. Home Office sources tell Guido they have no idea where the briefing is coming from. Oops.


  1. 1
    Anne Widdcombe says:

    I pissed my knickers

  2. 2
    The Right Honourable George Osborne Mp says:

    We have a slow & difficult recovery because of difficulties in the banking system, but I think we’ve got a very clear message, a loud and clear message that Britain cannot let up in dealing with its debts, dealing with its problems, cannot let up in making sure that Britain can pay its way in the world.

  3. 3
    Alan Qatadadada says:

    Pity. I thought it sounded too good to be true.

  4. 4
    Yeah, right... says:

    If not, why not?

  5. 5
    Sarah says:

    Withdrawing from ECHR would make Dave popular with Conservative voters north of the Watford Gap – so we know this story is rubbish.

    Still with UKIP – May 2nd will show the Tories they must ditch Dave before 2015 to survive.

  6. 6
    Theresa May (or may not) says:

    Mr Qatada has agreed to enter Jordan voluntarily, on the condition she has a full vaggie douche.

  7. 7
    Polly from her Villa in Umbrage says:

    I will temporarily withdraw from the human race in order to write my next column.

  8. 8
    Ed 'Treasury' Balls says:

    Home Office sources tell Guido they have no idea where the briefing is coming from… *innocent face*

  9. 9
    Dave -- The PC Caring PM says:

    In our multicultural PC paradise we must protect the human rights of immigrant terrorists and criminals.

  10. 10

    Oi, luv! Do you need yer ivory tower windows cleaning?

  11. 11
    Apumanche says:

    Bet the LimpDems did a collective shat.

  12. 12
    British industry says:

    We need to diversify.
    Someone go to Romania & Bulgaria and get some more of them diferisfiers in.

  13. 13
    The Panto Dame says:

  14. 14
    The People says:

    Got to be False.

    No way would Dave do the sensible thing.

  15. 15
    English Bloke says:

    F*uk our international reputation, we don’t have one and don’t care. When are you going to think about British people stinky pants?

  16. 16
    Knob watch says:

    How can a politician who touts for homosexual sex on t’internet in his dirty underpants talk about reputation?

  17. 17
    Polly from her Villa in Umbrage says:

    Typical of a white right wing hunter such as you to mention Ivory. Hang your head

  18. 18
    It'll ALL end in tears says:

    Treaty or not….Nothing is certain until the guy is on the plane to Jordan and out of UK Air Space….he’ll still be in the UK for the General Election in May 2015 I suspect

  19. 19
    Unsuprised says:

    Why temp just ditch the interfering legislation that destroys human rights unless you are a criminal.

  20. 20
    Polly Villa says:

    I will temporarily withdraw my column so I can piss on the human race.

  21. 21
    Gordon Brown says:

    British bottoms for British tops

  22. 22
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Why only temporary?

    It’s only a matter of time before another terrorist who needs deporting turns up and the whole circus starts again.

  23. 23
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Bryant gobshites off too fast, and is too believing in the Guardian. Bryant’s mouth is in overdrive, brain in neutral.
    Bryant can’t help himself, being the pra t that he is.

  24. 24
    Huhne's EGO on every rooftop says:

    Solar Panels will be the next miss-selling scandal. and what’s the betting that the taxpayer will have to pick up the bill?

  25. 25
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Bryant, yet again, proves what a twa t he is.

  26. 26
    David Ickes sartorial elegance says:

    How does a 12ft Lizard manage to fit in such a bad taste and small skin?

  27. 27
    Tim Yeo says:


  28. 28
    The Treacherous Tin Pot Tosser in No 10 says:

    Asking me to Withdraw from the €USSR – or any of its scams – is like Coitus Interruptus– unthinkable!!!

    Common People call it ‘Pulling Out’ – but as I love the €USSR I’ll let them fuck me as long as they care to!


  29. 29
    Passing Clouds says:


    LimpDim Shit! – phew – it’d burn the lavvy pail

  30. 30
    Passing Clouds says:

    I think you mean withdraw the column that’s permanently up your arse you stupid bitch.

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Who cares – as long as it is not happening in my back yard, I couldn’t give a wank anymore.

  32. 32
    Splurge says:

    So the dark lord George Smith, old ratbag himself, is, yet again. laying into people on benefits. I really think this man is sociopathic. He just cannot help himself. Distorting statistics and all out lying to smear everyone on benefits.. He does this through his friends in the media, as we know they are only too willing to help.

    Funny how you never heard from him last week when the tory god Thatch was being buried at the public’s expense

  33. 33

    Did you know its been scientifically proved that the sunlight on even a cloudy day will power your house for 10 years. Its all to do with molecules. Kinetic light power hermetically seals in the sunlight atoms and the tritonic action micronises the good and bad bacteria to run your lightbulbs.

    £20,000 + materials Ok?
    Sign here luv. ‘Fore your old man gets home.

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    Guardian, like the rest of the Londonstinian media, are tomorrows chip paper. and full of hollow bluster. Bollocks to the lot of them.

  35. 35
    Dave - the PC caring PM and Bum Wipe (after the Noo 'Normal' Bumsex of course) says:

    I just love love clearing up the dripping shitty dollops.

  36. 36
    Forum Moderator says:

    Please try and present your points in a coherent fashion.
    Otherwise no-one will understand what you are mumbling about.

  37. 37
    1 dodgy Labour dossier = 500,000 dead men, women and children. says:

    Especially a Labour MP, preaching about “rule of law”.

  38. 38
    Owen Jones Shouty Runt aged 28 3/4 says:

    Cow that should have been MINE, ALL MINE

    waaah waaah waaah

  39. 39
    KB4355 says:

    “The number of people needing emergency food handouts has trebled in a year – and is expected to rise higher still.

    Almost 350,000 people, including 126,000 children, have received at least three days’ meals from food banks in the past 12 months.

    Welfare reforms which came into force this month will force even more families into hunger, it is feared.”


    Front page of today’s Metro.

    What a fucking disgrace ! What is this country coming to ? We are in the top 10 wealthiest countries in the world yet some citizens are going hungry & relying on the generosity of others to feed them ?!

    IDS should hang his head in shame at the constant demonising of those that have the least. He is a fucking disgrace & if he were in front of me right now, I would spit in his face – that is the least he deserves.

  40. 40
    Tessa Tickles says:


  41. 41
    JH349834905934 says:

    Solar panels. At 52′ latitude. Ridiculous.

    I had a large one on an outbuilding roof which just managed to trickle charge the battery to run low-voltage lighting for a couple of hours a week.

    For average domestic use you would need acres of the damn things.

  42. 42
    Tessa Tickles says:

    “some citizens are going hungry & relying on the generosity of others to feed them ?!”

    So, uh, they’re not going hungry, then?

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    HEY! If a Labour MP wants to post pics of himself, in his skids, let him. We are still a free country. Gawd knows what voters he was attracting though – but the pink pound is still strong though, truth be told,

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    jezzuuz – you make us out as Crusaders, after wotsisname. Shirley not! Pope wasn’t involved this time – well that is what I was told.

  45. 45
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Someone ought to temporarily withdraw their head from their arse, if only just long enough to figure out whether the “default position” (UK stays in ECHR) being “temporarily changed” (read “conveniently”) only to revert back when the “dirty deed” of kicking this worthless abomination out is accomplished, is even tenable and practicable both from a diplomatic and criminal justice standpoint. Why temporarily withdraw, when you can do it once and for all, and then renegotiate it along with everything else relating to Europe (assuming you’re doing that as well)? Who would brief something like this nonsense when you know (or at any rate should), as they used to say on Mission: Impossible, all knowledge will be disavowed– as it should be, ‘coz it sounds ridiculous!

    Am I missing something here, along the lines of “left hand knoweth not what right hand is doing” is how it’s being done in the Government?

  46. 46
    David Cameron Is A Cunt says:

    Since when did the execrable Guardian ever have to actually have been briefed utter nonsense like this, they are perfectly capable of making anything up if it suits their political agenda, see Polly, regularly, for proof of that.

  47. 47
    Youth in Asia welcome pollytwaddle says:

    Typical of a champagne swilling socialist to attack the man instead of the message.

    Dopey tart, be gone!

  48. 48
    Slotgob QC says:

    One has to prosecute and sentence before criminality is established.

    Due process and all that has paid for three of our seventeen mansions.

  49. 49
    Yeah, right... says:

    Food not Ace
    Food not Ace
    Food not Ace.

    I love them bairns….

  50. 50

    Foreign Economic Bribes this year: £8,600,000,000

  51. 51
    johnnygee says:

    What a load of tripe.
    We can’t withdraw temporarily, that is surely a stupid idea. if we come out of it it has to be permanantly.
    The law might be a complete arse at the moment and it has got there by some numpty foreign judges who have no grasp of life in the real world , but it is still the law. We can’t go around ignoroing it, we need to change it. Change the law and do what we May but flout it at our peril.
    The govt should do a deal with Jordan and before the ink is dry have him on a plane so he can’t appeal. It might be a bit underhanded but probably the only way to get shot of him.

  52. 52

    Chris Bryant is one of the most irritating pricks in Parliament always displaying faux outrage over anything this government does. All I can say that if a law is actively putting the public at risk, i.e. preventing the deportation of foreign terrorists, hardened violent criminals and rapists, then it’s a bad law and I think it’s the duty of any government to give precedence to the protection of its people. The security of the public should come before the rights of someone wishing us harm.

  53. 53

    Bollocks! If you walked down a street giving away £5.00 notes, people will take it because the money’s free, not because they are needy. Same with free food. What a load of guff about starving children in this country. How many kids have you seen with bulging eyes, stick thin bodies and swollen bellies caused by severe malnutrition?

    Many of the Benefit dependant freeloaders taking advantage of free food will spend the money they save on fags, booze, tattoos and lottery scratchcards. Go to any of their homes and you will be guaranteed the sight of Flat screen televisions, X- boxes and designer clothes on their brats. Couldn’t let Kian, Tia, Kayden, Chardonnay and all the other brats with stupid names go without their little luxuries could we?

  54. 54
    Jimmy says:

    So govt minion lies to grauniad and it’s their misfire?

    How does that work?

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:


    How many more times ???

  56. 56
    Anyone says:

    Deport Toynbee and Bryant to Jordan, keep Qatada.

  57. 57
    I hate Hugh Grant cos he's a moron says:

    The HRA has nothing to do with EU. The HRA has been about for years long before the EU but NOT lumping it in with the EU doesn’t serve the purpose of the spin does it

  58. 58
    Got a badger for a head says:

    Another sun journo charged with being a wrongun

  59. 59
    Con Artists says:

    Anyway I thought it was Chakri who set government policy…

  60. 60
    Matilda says:

    Hooray! The first sensible idea Dave had had since taking office. But why only temporary? Make it permanent, then Slotgob and co will lose out on the easy HR pickings. After all, it was her idea to sign up, wasn’t it?

  61. 61
    Matilda says:

    Could you be a love and send your old man to Scotland Yard, there’s a duck. A few folk there wish to ‘ave a word, as it were.

  62. 62
  63. 63
    Matilda says:

    If we are in the top ten wealthiest countries whilst have a 1.4 trillion quid (and counting) debt, WTF must the rest of the world look like?

  64. 64
    Matilda says:

    Intellectual anything at all has been lacking from Polly’s brain since the day she was born.

  65. 65
    Matilda says:

    No, you are not missing anything at all – except the fact that the ECHR has SFA to do with the EU (which is the usual shorthand for “Europe”).

    But I agree with you, just renounce the treaty with immediate effect and let the rest get on with it.

  66. 66
    Matilda says:

    A general rule of journalism is to check your facts and get more than one credible source for a story before rushing into print. I thought you would have known that Jim.

  67. 67
    Curly says:

    … along with his entire entourage. Amman is simply lovely at this time of the year too.

  68. 68
    Romany Blythe's saggy tit says:

    Pssst it’s not the real Pollytwaddle. Don’t be like those people who attack Coronation Street stars in the street under the belief that they really did murder 6 cast regulars etc.

  69. 69
    Jimmy says:

    Are there two credible people in the conservative party?

    It seems a bit of a stretch.

  70. 70
    Viv says:

    Why don’t we just stick him on a plane and accept the ‘fine’?

  71. 71
    New Beeboid One says:

    But we believe Chris Bryant is a luvvie in disguise so we love to have him on our programmes.

  72. 72
    Just Saying. says:

    The fact that anyone in the Gruniard believed in the “temporary” issue is beyond belief. Shows how deep Bliar’s Edukashun has reached if loony lefties believe in such a ridiculous act by Wavy Dave.

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