April 23rd, 2013

Farage Confirms Hancock By-Election Plan

A month ago in his Sun column Guido revealed that UKIP are already up and running on the ground in Portsmouth South in anticipation that self-confessed teen fondler Mike Hancock will be forced out, triggering a by-election. Today Farage has confirmed he is predicting a by-election this summer, telling a press gallery lunch that he thinks UKIP will win. Dave will note the several Tory MPs quaffing Merlot with the hack pack as Farage confessed he had been a frequenter of lap-dancing establishments, laid into Leveson and endorsed Gove for PM. He knows his audience


168 Comments

  1. 1
    Twitter says:

    UKIP is trending

    Like

    • 2
      Twitter says:

      Oh and First

      Like

      • 4
        Number Two says:

        More of a twatter eh?

        Like

        • 22
          Anonymous says:

          “press gallery lunch” – when is Nige ever not out of lunch – he seems eternally out to lunch, the ex-wanker banker he is. UKIP – up my fecking arse! Song for Nige,

          Like

          • Taff Watch says:

            Jealousy and envy, the two crutches of the intellectual pygmy.

            Like

          • P C Dixon says:

            O Dear are we getting worried ?!? Well done Taff Watch – got in one

            Like

          • Liar, liar, pants oh fire says says:

            Anonymous

            your a prick, Farage was never a banker, he was metal’s dealer in the city, so get your facts straight. And there’s nothing wrong with business lunches that’s how you make contacts and net work.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            all you above that are negative to me, up yewers,

            Ok ok Nige, so I agree totally on some of your points, but feck Nige, we have got to nudge things along, not steamroll. You are too low flying at the moment Nige, as….

            Yes, don’t be a tragic woos as that fella, Nige.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            liar liar pants on fire – so you confirm he was a The City capitalist cant then? Thanks. He is not normal like the rest of us. Tell him to go and spin for me, next you see him, the chancer he is.

            Like

        • 77
          Hang The Bostards says:

          Looks like the LIBLABCON loving AnonyMOUSE is getting a bit worried, as are all the establishment.

          It’s easy UKIP = voice of the many = March into power.

          SIMPLES !

          Like

    • 3
      Panem.et.circenses says:

      *thumbs air*

      Like

    • 5
      CarryHole is a massive Hunt says:

      I think roughly every non-gayer male in the country has visited a personal thigh warming establishment.

      Like

      • 54
        Occasional punt says:

        Not me. I’ve visited “ladies”, though.

        Like

      • 158
        the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

        i went to a lap dancing club once

        they made you run round the athletics track and then do the conga

        methinks nige is not talking about a similar establishment ……

        Like

    • 6
      Handycock sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money says:

      There will be no by-election. Whatever I am found guilty of, I will not stand down. I never have before, nor will I now. It is the absolute right of Members of Parliament to seduce young girls, especially on foreign trips to eastern Europe, molest vulnerable female constituents, and all in all use their power and influence to get as much sex as possible, especially if the taxpayer is paying for it all. If I were to stand down who would pay for my trips to Russia, Romania, Moldova and all places east? I am not standing down and am adamant about that. Boaz.

      Like

      • 114
        Not a LibDem says:

        It’s not just the taxpayer funding Handy – don’t forget all the rate paying dimwits who kept voting him in as a Councillor. He needs his teenies to help iron the money flat!

        Like

    • 11
      I promiise to pay the bearer..honestly i do...Jock Salmond says:

      So the Jockanese are to be booted out of sterling.

      Like

    • 20
      Hugh Jend says:

      But why the innocent face?

      Like

    • 64
      Got a badger for a head says:

      He won’t win

      Like

    • 113
      Anonymous says:

      How much lower can we sink

      As Churchill said in 45 “This is our finest hour”
      He was a proper statesman, unlike the present shower
      These sycophantic Europhiles have bought us to our knees
      Now Cameron’s asking Merkle “Can we have some power please”

      I need to go back with a ruse to stem the UKIP flood
      The whole backbench will rise as one baying for my blood
      They want a referendum, not tomorrow but today
      I need to claim a victory to keep them all at bay

      We’ll fill it all with weasel words to let you off the hook
      I know it’s smoke and mirrors but its how we make it look
      You need to help me out here Ange, as PM I must stay
      If I should lose then kiss goodbye to 50 Mill a day

      This UKIP mob have pulled the rug from underneath my feet
      If I can’t claim a victory here I’m staring at defeat
      This Ferage chaps percentage vote is going through the roof
      I just don’t understand it, all he does is tell the truth

      I’ve lied and cheated schemed and stalled and gave a cast iron vow
      The cat alas is out the bag and no one trusts me now
      It’s time for you and Rumpy to step up to the plate
      With false negotiation spin before it gets too late

      Like

    • 164
      Gorbalsballs says:

      So, Pompey will see UKIP’s first MP then.

      Like

  2. 7
    Mike Hancock says:

    I’m in touch with the next generation.

    Like

  3. 8
    The Con/UKIP Alliance says:

    Game on

    Like

    • 12
      Bob says:

      Well durrrr…

      Like

    • 42
      VERITAS ITS BLEAK IN SUNDERLAND WITH 3 LABOUR MPS says:

      Cameron will still be in place in June as will Fatbutt in 2015 mores the pity.

      Like

    • 59
      Nigel Farage doppelganger says:

      NOOOOooooo.

      Keep Cameron in place, he is doing wonders for UKIP recruitment

      I was a UKIP meeting last night, with Farage as Guest speaker
      Lodge Hill,Coldwaltham ,West Sussex.

      and they lapped him up.

      some pissed of Local Tory spies there with faces like thunder, as saw their blue rinse brigade cheering Farage on

      LOVED IT.

      Keep it up call me Dave, your the best.

      Like

  4. 9
    Nigel Forage-ing for any publicity he can get says:

    Ah, well, you know, I’ve come to like the way the South Coast votes, last time out, and thought, Why not again?, and the rest, as they say…bottoms up, chaps!

    Like

  5. 10

    UKIP have got about half a dozen members in Portsmouth. They haven’t got a local candidate, Farage will parachute someone in. Of course we all like to see Hancock squirm a bit, but all the punditry we’ve seen so far has been based on guesswork.

    Like

  6. 13
    Toasting Fork says:

    The Tories and the Leftists ARE TOAST.

    Like

  7. 14
    Gay Windmills says:

    Like

    • 23
      Eco Loon says:

      Pictures of Chris Bryant in his is all the proof I need.

      Like

    • 33
      Chris Bryant says:

      That’s my old hang out.

      Like

    • 48
      An Interpreter of Interpretations of Interpretations says:

      Wibble

      Like

    • 122
      Owain Glyndwr says:

      Has any one noticed how the length of football shorts has changed over the years and now they are back to the length of leg in the early50’s and pre WW2

      Like

      • 141
        Your Friendly Neighbourhood Sporting Fashion Analysis Service says:

        It is the influence of the American basketballers having done the same thing in roughly the same time frame (since roughly 1990) preceded by, and perhaps influenced by the boxer, Joe Frazier, whose trunks, in the mid-to-late 70’s reached farther down his thighs than was customary at the time. Footballers and basketballers, in obvious addition to boxers, have always “encased” their genitalia in a protective shell worn inside an athletic supporter, “just in case,” as we say, and the coverage of their pants/trunks/what you will, is irrelevant as to “modesty,” but it should not go unremarked upon that in the same time frame, an increasing number of players of “ultimate-African” ancestry entered these games, almost completely taking them over in the case of basketball and the higher weight classes in boxing. Perhaps it was the subliminal message of a “greater” (though still obviously illusory) need for “modesty” on the par of these particular participants (an image they would not be at great pains to try to dispel) which prompted the designers of the sporting wear to come up with this wheeze of “longer shorts.” [oxymoron?]

        Like

  8. 15
    Jack says:

    Come on Pompey.

    show the troughing political class what you think of them

    Like

  9. 16
    • 124
      Owain Glyndwr says:

      Doesn’t he look a sweetie

      Like

      • 148
        gramma says:

        Mind like a bear trap.
        Intelligent.
        Well read and well spoken.
        The only attendee who did not attempt to suck Leveson’s c*ck.
        Gove would be a shoo in when he decides to run.

        Like

  10. 18
    Brown OUT & pay me damages. Respect my legal rights. says:

    Hancock should do the decent thing and resign. What an utter creep he is.

    Like

  11. 19
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Like

  12. 21
    The Judiciary is rotten to the core as well as the political class says:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22269388

    Like

    • 25
      Mad mad mad says:

      Out of the EU now!

      Like

    • 26
      Jugdgement Day says:

      When the Judiciary is corrupt..What the fuck can you do?

      Like

      • 37
        Phil says:

        Althougth it pains me to say it I personally share your theory on the basis that another agenda is in play with the Judiciary and it has little if anything to do with the protection of the inhabitants of this country to go about their own business lawfully and safely without fear from harm by outside forces or individuals.
        As a last resort, in the Qatada case, May could throw him out and tell the ECHR to whistle. This attitude would almost certainly wipe out Red’s poll lead and cheer us all up but I’m not holding my breath.

        Like

        • 92
          Curly says:

          Yes chuck him and his entire family out and let the ECHR impose a fine. Don’t have to pay it (what would they do, invade?) but even if we did, it would still be a lot cheaper than keeping this c*unt and his relatives in the style to which he has become accustomed over the past 10 years.

          Theresa, grow a pair (figuratively of course!) and just DO IT. The whole country will be right behind you – and I’m sure King Abdullah would even send the plane to pick them up.

          Like

      • 89
        Anonymous says:

        Judiciary is corrupt: How can any group with limitless powers to reward themselves, remain uncorrupted.

        Personally, I know they are corrupt. If Judges thought they were at risk, they would try harder to cover up their mistakes.

        Like

        • 95
          Curly says:

          You know they are corrupt -and so do we. We only had to watch the Hutton, Chilcott and Leveson circuses to confirm it.

          Like

          • Owain Glyndwr says:

            What about the magistrates my dear? Some of them have already decided a case before they hear it, at least that’s the impression I get?

            Like

      • 99
        Anonymous says:

        Get safely away and publish. It might help all of the rest, that are remaining, to stay alive.

        Do not ever think that the courts are there to protect you. They only protect themselves. Dealing with a problem in a timely fashion is not in their interest. It does not matter how many die, as long as they get more fees.

        Like

  13. 24
    Hugh Jend says:

    Handy cock was last seen pulling his winkle whilst watching the MILF Irn Bru advert.

    Like

  14. 29
    £130 Billion Black hole says:

    At this rate everything will be fine by 2413.

    Like

    • 47
      Red Ed Dwarf says:

      Its the year 2413 and 3 trillion, gazillion, megabillion pounds in debt Ed Lisper is the last socialist left alive.

      Like

  15. 32
    Lawrence of Auchtermuchty says:

    What I don’t understand is how Hancock keeps getting re-elected both to the council and to the national. Do they not mind pervs in Pompey or something?

    Like

  16. 35
    Margaret Hodge says:

    I do great lap dances.

    Like

  17. 36
    Anne Widdcombe says:

    Mine are just out of shot on the left, they’re being used as a bouncy castle.

    Like

  18. 38
    Jimmy says:

    “teen fondler”

    He looks older.

    Like

    • 43
      Joe says:

      Happy St Georges day to one and all, even you Jimmy. :)

      Like

      • 63
        Jimmy says:

        Always nice to see positive portrayals of Palestinians here.

        Like

        • 70
          Lee Grasper says:

          Even bl@ck ones

          Like

        • 79
          Joe says:

          St George was a Greek who became an officer in the Roman army, but lets not let facts get in the way of a Jimmy one liner.

          Like

          • Jimmy says:

            He is more formally St. George of Lydda after his native city in Palestine, since renamed after ethnic cleansing as Lod.

            Like

          • Joe says:

            Mmmm that’s interesting Jimmy, so by your logic you’d have to be born in lets say Britain to be British yes?

            Like

          • Jimmy says:

            You can call him Greek if you like. He’s as Greek as Cleopatra, who is usually described as Egyptian. I would normally describe people by the national label they would choose for themselves unless I was trying to annoy them. As an internationalist, I don’t of course believe these things matter.

            Like

          • Joe says:

            Jobs a goodun.

            Like

  19. 40
    VERITAS ITS BLEAK IN SUNDERLAND WITH 3 LABOUR MPS says:

    This is all very well,but of course it depends whether they can force the teen fondler out.Giving this mans previous life and his ability to survive as long as hes has then its going to be a tough job.As I have said on this blog the political class are entirely corrupt and its imperative that voters are giving the right to recall dishonest scum like Hancock where there is sufficient evidence that they no longer have the support of their constituents because of their behaviour.

    Like

    • 58
      Vote Conservative for unctrolled immigration says:

      Agree, do not underestimate the utterly corrupt legacy LibLabCon, it is in none of their interests for a by-election.

      The legacy know UKIP stand a real chance of winning and will do everything in their power to avoid this embarrassment.

      Now where’s that long grass.

      Like

  20. 45
    Penfold says:

    Would be nice to see UKIP get the seat.

    It might well prompt the Tories to ditch Call me Dave and get a real conviction leader.

    And that would be collateral damage of a postive sort.

    Watch out for Owen Paterson……..!!

    Like

    • 71
      Sources in the Tory party say that they do not expect Cameron to be in Downing St in June 2015 says:

      NOT this side of the election…it worked in 1992 but it wouldn’t work to-day…it’s sink or swim with the present leadership

      Like

  21. 46
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    Poor Guido…he is betwixted between !!!!!

    Is he a UKIP Lackey or a Tory Lackey

    Depends on whether he has a drink induced hangover ( Tory) or a drug induced hangover ( UKIP ).

    Like

    • 51
      Panem.et.circenses says:

      So speaketh the Labour lackey

      Like

    • 73
      Joe says:

      Get back to Ed’s cock.

      Like

    • 89
      Vote Conservative for uncotrolled immigration says:

      The LibLabCon are permanantly punch drunk on a paucity of policy.

      Any polcies they do have are given to them by the EU and copied off each other while they wait in line at the EU gold plated tax free salary and pensions tuckshop.

      Like

  22. 49

    It seems Ukip is worrying Labour as well as the Conservatives in the locals this year.

    http://tinyurl.com/bljfnnv

    Like

  23. 50
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    errrrrrrrr wasnt the debt meant to be £79 billion by 2013 according to the Cry Babys figures. Currently £120bn

    Like

  24. 52
    VERITAS ITS BLEAK IN SUNDERLAND WITH 3 LABOUR MPS says:

    Off subject HMG have been refused leave to appeal the decision re Abu Qatada extradition to Jordan.Why dont they just put him on a plane to hell with it.

    Like

  25. 55
    Abu Fucking Qatada says:

    Ha Ha Ha You Stupid English, innit. Now where’s my new free house? You kufar bastards.

    Like

  26. 57
    Anonymous says:

    Put Qatada on a plane now.

    Like

  27. 60
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    The Cry Baby stated in November 2011 public borrowing would be:

    £127bn in 2011
    £120bn in 2012
    £100bn in 2013
    £79bn in 2014
    £53bn in 2015
    £24bn in 2016

    …and QPR will win the premiership in 2014

    Like

    • 69
      Joe says:

      That’s truly terrible!
      Who on earth left the public finances in that poor state in the first place?

      Like

      • 87
        Ed 'Treasury' Balls says:

        I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I might incriminate myself.

        Like

  28. 66
    All lib dems are liars says:

    As Farage wont let foreigners in does that mean his wife will be up for grabs?

    Like

    • 72
      Ironic says:

      He only wants to let in immigrants from the commonwealth countries, those disgusting white Europeans can fuck off.

      Like

      • 74
        All lib dems are liars says:

        You mean the ones that might work!!!

        Like

        • 83
          I thought the point was... says:

          Hard to tell based on geographical location only.

          Like

        • 97
          Vote Conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

          No, the ones who meet a strict points based entry system based on properly assessed skills shortages, and who have their own private health insurance, and who can p1ss off back home when their job is finished.

          Like

          • Catty Comment (Ms) says:

            Just like the Aussies do then. Perhaps that sexy Welsh Julie baby can give us some tips?

            Like

          • But the question still remains why just Commonwealth Countries??? says:

            Fair enough but and we should do that for the disgusting white Europeans too.

            Like

          • Con Artists says:

            But the question.

            Errrr but Ukip would leave the EU.. so any European, whatever colour they are, would also apply for entry on the same points based system.

            Like

  29. 75
    Peter Bone MP with Mrs. Bone's blessing says:

    If I was Home Secretary, Abu Qatada would be on the first flight to Jordan.

    Like

  30. 76
    Mark Wouters. says:

    Hello,
    Answer me this ,The united states military ar 1) FRONTLINE FARIES? or
    2) FRONTLINE FAT CLUB?

    Like

    • 120
      HenryV says:

      The US military are the reason why you could post that in English and not German or Russian.

      Like

  31. 78
    Guy News Room says:

    Guido Fawkes set to press Theresa May for Commons statement tomorrow on Abu Qatada.

    Like

  32. 82
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    HSBC is cutting 3,166 UK jobs as it continues efforts to reduce costs.

    Hear ! Hear !

    Like

  33. 88
    Disgusting says:

    Shame on the British judiciary.

    The Court of App*al refuses the government permission to take its fight to remove Abu Qatada from the UK to the Supreme Court.

    Like

  34. 93
    Truth said says:

    And there was me thinking that Farrage was sensible but then he goes and says Gove for PM, no, no, no, Gove is something we do not want anyway when Scotland go solo we will send him back up there!!

    Like

    • 100
      labourunionsbbc are one under the EU says:

      Stumpy balls-up made a far better education minister, who could fault his “no winners” policy.

      Much better than Gove’s reintroduction of British history in the curriculum, and taking power away from central government and giving it to the schools themselves.

      Oh no that will never do for those command and control socialist types, a?

      Like

  35. 96
    Fact Hunt says:

    What I don’t get is Parliament make the laws that the judiciary then enforce. So change the fucking law and chuck the twat out. It’s not rocket science May you munter. If the barrier is then the ECHR, just ignore the terrorist loving lefties, our European partners do.

    Like

  36. 130
    Bazinga! says:

    If there are any actual Tory party members who read this blog, can you please explain why the fuck you want to keep Scotland in the union?

    If you got rid of them it would make it almost impossible for Labour to ever form a majority government again AND it would release us from a massive financial burden.

    The jocks hate the English and English Tories in particular, so why would you stick up for them?

    Like

  37. 131
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    7 Down. Stuff Guido, the Tory/UKIP supporter doesn’t like to mention. Fence sitting, like his politics.

    1. Abu Qatada to stay
    2. Between 30,000 to 20 gazillion Bulgarians to come to UK, if you believe CHQ
    3. Cry Baby out a lot more, actually thinks his tears will help him
    4. She didn’t rise on the 3rd day, you must be all shocked
    5. Warsi has been let out
    6. The job losses are escalating again
    7. Sell in May to go away approaches. Oh dear back below 6000 very soon..you heard it here first

    Like

    • 134

      May 2007 was quite good, in fact even better, Moussa.

      You heard it first here first.

      Like

      • 139
        Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

        Not doing so bad these days Catty. The Euro is looking better for you these days.

        Its sunny here too.

        I hope the locals are not offended by all the St George crosses. Typical Expat.

        Shall I send you some PG HP and black pudding over.

        Like

        • 150

          Very kind but my indispensables are Guinness, Marmite, Cereals and Marmalade. They made me what I am today! I bring them back by the boxful and will do so again next month. A nice block or two of really strong Cheddar is very bad for one’s cholesterol but I do so love the taste…

          I am not hostage to any one currency, All the main reserve currencies are horrible. Too busy to put St George’s Crosses up, I am afraid. The locals don’t mind me as I spend money with them and make an ass of myself trying to speak their language. They like people who try though so that helps too.

          Like

    • 138
      oh my, the footwork! says:

      The country is in the state it’s in because of your lunatics in charge, from immigration to gold to house prices to job losses to losing councils money on bank speculation, he the knee trembler pieman and Icelandic banks could go on but your still a boring git.

      Like

  38. 132
    lescrompsblogg says:

    GOVE…..GOVE For PM……..What sort of fucked up mind would even contemplate that horrendous event,think we’ll find Farage is just stirring the Tory pisspot. UKIP in with more than a good chance in Pompey though ,it,s well worth a wager.

    Like

  39. 135
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    Not a bad week for the Tories

    Only 2 u turns

    1. Home extentions changes – dead in the water
    2. Employment right changes – owner-employee contracts – dead in the water

    Like

  40. 136
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    The Cry Baby’s new public borrowing predictions:

    £120 bn in 2013
    £119.9999999 bn in 2014
    £119.9999998 bn in 2015
    £119.9999997 bn in 2016

    Like

    • 142
      Ed 'Treasury' Balls says:

      I can double that. Just give me the keys.
      I’m ready for the big time. I’ve been in training. I studied under the master, Obi Brown Ko-nob-eye.
      I’m ready for the big time!

      Like

  41. 137
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    Guido

    Has Trevor been arrested yet !!!!!!

    Like

  42. 143
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    If any Liebore councilor or MP wants to refute anything said about them on this website then let them come forward and do so.

    labour25.com

    Like

  43. 154
    tigerowl says:

    A bi election for Portsmouth. Poor sods. All those politics coming down like they did at Eastleigh. Just put Farage on to the first ferry out of Pompy to France for the duration. Eastleigh got enough of his fake figures on Europe, Migration, immigration, housing. Mans party is a harder version of thatcher. Cut deeper that the Tories. Not what UKIP said in Rptherham. There it was that UKIP supported Public services. One message for one area and another message for the next area. Sounds so like the Lib dems.
    Will farage have the courage to stand this time?

    Like

    • 157

      The only have bi elections in Brighton don’t they.

      Farage will not do himself any favours schlepping around fighting every seat. He could end up looking like Screaming Lord Sutch.

      Like


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“Digger” Murdoch says:

Is it just me, or is Nigel Farage just a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain?


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