April 4th, 2013

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly.

Thousands of Westminster insiders read the Guidogram, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. Guido v Owen Jones, and more.

Join the conspiracy and become asubscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    Dysgenics says:

    The opposite of eugenics. Encouraging the least able and least active to reproduce the most. Usually achieved by welfare, it ensures a steady stream of low IQ ethnics and chavs who will be guaranteed to provide Labour votes for decades to come.

  2. 2

    A system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

  3. 3
    Red Ed's non-predator union bosses says:

    UTOPIA !!

  4. 4

    What with OJ Simpleton inside, does it have a “SWALK” written on the back?

  5. 5
    Paniagua Solo says:

    Biohazard… hopefully

  6. 6
    Bacteria & Virii with some sense says:

    And when the host is dead, then what?

  7. 7
    Owen (Bollinger) Jones says:

  8. 8
    Ed Ballsup says:

    We visit the magic money tree.

  9. 9
    Geedo needs media training says:

  10. 10
    Labour Websters Dictionary says:

    magic money tree

    Colloquial term for the IMF (International Monetary Fund)

  11. 11
    Banker says:

    Looks a right proper stuck up posh twat

  12. 12
    The Apostrophe Police says:

    “Workers’ Party stalwart”

  13. 13
    Ex-BBC chauffeur David Smith says:

    My last ride ;)

  14. 14
    And in other news.. says:

    Gordo needs potty training.

  15. 15
    Resident of 96.99% white Merseyside says:

    I nearly read that as potty training!

  16. 16
    Nonce Sense says:

    Prints by the artist Graham Ovenden have been removed from the Tate’s online collection following his conviction for child sex offences.

    Ovenden was found guilty at Truro Crown Court on Tuesday of six counts of indecency and one of indecent assault against girls in the 1970s and 80s.

    A Tate spokeswoman said the gallery was “reviewing the online presentation” of the 34 prints.

    Ovenden, 70, is on bail ahead of sentencing at Plymouth Crown Court.

    The spokeswoman said: “Graham Ovenden is an artist of note, whose work has been widely shown over more than 40 years.

  17. 17
    Jimmy So-vile says:

    Now then now then

  18. 18
    Channel 4 at 10pm tonight says:

    True Stories documentary by photographer Leo Maguire, providing an insight into why men and women engage in or watch sexual activity in front of strangers in public areas after dark. Accompanying his participants to lay-bys, woods and picnic spots around the UK, they discuss their attraction to dogging and reveal how they were introduced to it.

  19. 19
    Ol' Crummy says:

    Had this reprobate Mick Tosspot lived in the days of the Protectorate, he had surely been hanged for his crimes. On the other hand, had Tosspot lived then, he had surely been an MP, as he would fit in most comfortably, with the other jugglers, whoremasters, dr*unkards, and swindlers then sitting. By Jesu, I do struggle to see how ’twas a man of his character never entered politics in the 21st century, as it seems he hath a formidable set of skills for the job, what with his chiselling ways and fornications.

  20. 20
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    I get bored watching telly all day, every day.

  21. 21
    Margodi Ug says:

    You’ve got this back to front.

  22. 22
    Mick Scum Philpott says:

    Mick Scum Philpott used his kids as pawns for his own selfish ends.

  23. 23
    C4 Scum says:

    C4 has sunk to an all time low. I won’t be watching it.

  24. 24
    Owen Jones says:

    What should you do if you run over Guido Fawkes in your car? Reverse just to make sure

  25. 25
    Frank Gallagher C4 SCUM says:


  26. 26
    Ex-BBC chauffeur David Smith says:

    Do you mean the car that you are in and I am dr1ving Owen?

    Not that I am saying you are a champagne socialist or anything (See Post 7 above)

  27. 27
    Joss Taskin says:

    As Owen is on the same page as Kim Jong il, can’t he fly over to North Korea and settle there permanently ?

  28. 28
    Latchmere house says:

    Have you seen that weird thing Ed does with his eyes?

  29. 29
    Little Johnny B13COW says:

    The eyes to the right…..

  30. 30
    Owin Jokes says:

    Don’t mention car crashes……

  31. 31
    Richard Timney says:

    I will.

  32. 32
    Comrade Delta of the Socialist R*apists Party says:

    Viva our comrades in North Korea!

  33. 33
    Death says:


    Richard Beasley, an Ohio man who killed three men lured by bogus job offers on Craigslist, is sentenced to death

  34. 34
    Benefits related? says:


    Three men have been given life sentences for the murder of a convicted child rapist.

    Geoffrey Reed, 57, was beaten to death in his ground floor flat in Bournemouth, Dorset, by half brothers Stuart and Lee Wareham and Benjamin Walter.

    The prosecution said this was a motive in the murder and also that the men wanted Reed’s benefits.

  35. 35
    Dead nonce is a good nonce says:

    In this case, they did society a favour.

  36. 36
    Universal Hiss says:

    I see Ms.Penny has resurfaced….


    She’s getting a right kicking below the line. How odd for the Guardianistas.

  37. 37
    Owen Jones says:

    Guido,I think you need a nice glass of shut the fuck up.

  38. 38
    Short term memory says:

    New movements to resist austerity must expect to meet the same wall of state violence as soon as they become effective, because that’s how the Tories operate.

    Not Labour, of course, who detained an elderly Holocaust survivor under the prevention of terrorism act for heckling Jack Straw, and increased detention without charge.

  39. 39
    Precarious Prole (before today known as P l e b) says:

    A major collector of Ovenden’s work has recently sold his collection. Just can’t remember the collector’s name…

  40. 40
    Jimmy says:

    That is pretty bad. Imagine how bad you’d have to be to lose an argument with him.

  41. 41
    Temujin says:

    magic money tree

    Colloquial term for where mps and ministers expect their bountiful stipend and lovely expenses (sometimes with no connection with what they do) from

  42. 42
    Temujin says:

    yea and verily they didst hang children for stealing a loaf of bread because he and his lone mother were starving

  43. 43
    Comrade Delta says:

    No woman can resist me. That’s because I usually have her pinned down.

  44. 44
    Casual Observer says:

    And lets not forget that it was under Labour that the police were allowed to murder the Brazilian, Charles de Menezes in public on an underground train, and Ian Tomlinson at the G20.

    Utterly criminal.

    University action against the occupiers is heavy handed, but the treatment has been light compared with what happened under the previous government.

  45. 45
    Casual Observer says:

    Two errors these guys made: i) Considering benefit fraud, ii) Getting caught.

    Otherwise good job.

  46. 46
    Owen Jones says:

    I think the Mumbai Indians will win today, what do you think ?

  47. 47
    Temujin says:

    That somehow reminds me of the News quiz, the one where John Prescott was suppose to have appeared he didn’t so they represented him by a tub of lard, they even occasionally addressed the tub of lard.

  48. 48
    Temujin says:

    Which Ted are you alluding to Blinky or the other one?

  49. 49
    Temujin says:

    Even the Russians and Chinese are warning North Korea

  50. 50
    Ol' Crummy says:

    ‘Twas with the connivance of the Church such practice took place, in that the fewer the mendicants, the less those dog-collars needed to spend on the poor and hence, could trouser themselves– and as to the hanging of children, ’twas thought by many, nits make lice, and this sort of thinking hath not vanish’d altogether, as in some of the discussion of Tosspot’s children, those still alive and those, well, not-so-much.

  51. 51
    Precarious Prole (before today known as P l e b) says:

    “More than 175,000 UK companies have offshore directors”

    Tax avoidance on an industrial scale. So there you go George and Beaker – let’s round the fuckers up.

    Morally repugnant I’d call it.

  52. 52
    The Observer says:

    Hmmm and they have the cheek to tell the Pakistanis to get their taxation system in order siting, corruption, tax avoidance, fiddling, money held abroad, and non payment of tax, does that ring a bell

  53. 53
    Matilda says:

    In his case it is probably NORWICH

  54. 54
    Guido sellout says:

    Sad to see Guido becoming just another Tory tip-off merchant like Sun, mail and telegraph. But I guess he has to butter up his best customers to survive.

    Looks like his true ambition, now he has a column in the Sun, is to take over Coulson’s old job with Dave in Downing Street.

    What’s next in the Guido sellout parade – full membership of the Lobby?

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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