April 1st, 2013

Download the Guido App Today


  1. 1
    Adolph Miliband says:

  2. 2

    Tiz I

  3. 3
    A small, slightly smelly person says:

    Yes, we know.

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Hello ! where have my comments gone ?

  5. 5
    Anne Drecks says:

    Done that. Off for a wank.

  6. 6
    Calm down dear says:

  7. 7
    Kebab Time says:

    Private Eye Exclusive

    Download the Guido App Today on the Guido Website

  8. 8
    V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

    Is there an App that would stop the Labour Party ruining the UK?

  9. 9
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Are you 100% horse, dear? Shouldn’t you be under investigation?

  10. 10
    David, call me Prime Minister if you like says:

    I had this tune ringing through my “brain” during my PPE finals. lol

  11. 11
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Did you fail, dear?

  12. 12
    Labourunionsbbc we are one under the EU says:

    For my money Bill Quango MP surpasses himself with the quote of the day.
    And I shall be steering clear of those half-baked Ready-Mehdi’s now I know what’s in ‘em.

  13. 13
  14. 14
    BBC are Bias bastards says:

    News tonight stating police investigating Stafford health authorities

    Should start with “safe in our hands” aresewipe Burnham first then. Thwy wont though and we all know it.

    Now had this been a Tory????

  15. 15
    the runners and riders, 3.30 Kempton Park says:

    We’ve all had a go at ßilly’s “winky”. Who hasn’t? The last time I had the misfortune to see it, it resembled a plum that had been dropped from 57th floor of The Gherkin.

  16. 16
    Glove muppet says:

    Quote of the day worth repeating. Well done Lady McAlpine !!!!!!

    Lady McAlpine dismisses Sally Bercow and Philip Schofield:

    “and she was the first one kicked out… He began in children’s television with his thumb stuck up a glove puppet.”

    hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! brilliant

    *innocent face*

  17. 17
    Arfur Daley says:

    nothing wrong wiv them ready meals a bit of brown sauce could not rectify

  18. 18
    Guido Fawkes says:

    Do you masturbate in front of mirror every day?

  19. 19
    Guido Fawkes says:

    Pustules aren’t really my thing.

  20. 20
    The General Public says:

    Nope. Haven’t heard of any of them. Next.

  21. 21
    Gordon McAbsent says:

    My Nokias are all broken. Do you have an app that works on my Etch-a-Sketch?

  22. 22
    Rupert says:

    Your my bitch now Guido

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Not compatible with the Nexus 7 – get it sorted Guido!

  24. 24
    Nigel Farage says:

    Yes, it is called the UKIP app

  25. 25

    I had an android growing in my back garden but I dug it up.

  26. 26
    Anonymous says:

    Yay! Another “App” to make mobile phone user morons into even bigger morons!

  27. 27
    Silent Bob says:
  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    I know a Gypsy family called Apps.

  29. 29
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP.

  30. 30
    Common Purpose says:

    Think global, act local.

  31. 31
    Common Sense says:

    Buy local, stuff global.

  32. 32

    Sea slug sheds its penis after sex, scientists find.

    They can do themselves. So can the ex-member for Eastleigh.


  33. 33

    Might I suggest that global have been stuffing us?

  34. 34
    Food Standards Agency says:

    We can confirm that there is no trace of sea slug DNA in Tesc0 value range prawn cocktail.

  35. 35
    Things that make you go, H11hne says:

  36. 36
    Diane Slugusset..well known labour apologist says:

    this is my pet subject sling yer hook

  37. 37
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    FFS Four Horses don’t make an Apocalypse

    Let’s eat up and move on.

  38. 38
    Andy Burnham says:

    No need to worry.

    We’ll have the NHS kill off anyone showing signs of illness which could correlate with this episode before such an inconvenient statistical anomaly can be determined.

  39. 39
    Horse Butcher says:

    I can assure you all our horses were well hung.

  40. 40
    The paws of truth says:

    Anyone thought to test for McCann DNA ?

  41. 41
    Err says:

    Was Oscar Pistorious on speed?

  42. 42
    fitz fitz says:

    This self promotion could become ANNOYING ….

  43. 43
    fitz fitz says:

    LA Times reports that he shot through the bathroom door …

  44. 44
    McCannot give up now says:

    D o N ot A ttempt to answer that, or we will waste another £4M chasing you unsuccessfully through the courts.

  45. 45
    old SHEP says:

    No, just a bit pistorious, give him an Oscar for that one though.

  46. 46
    Oh No ! says:

    Traces of meateorite found in 900 Russians

  47. 47
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Channel 4 news showing a photo of the pistol used calling it a revolver!!

  48. 48
    President Obama says:

    People should not have access to guns if they are legless.

  49. 49
    The Half-dead one says:

    South Africa has 18.5 gun deaths per 100,000 of the population.

  50. 50
    old SHEP says:

    I can see where this is all leading, and people might say it is in bad taste, we don’t want to give Mr Leveson any more ammunition do we?, (said Zebedee).

  51. 51
    EU Watch says:

    So with filthy horse showing up in school and hospital food, is it not now time to ban EU imports ?

  52. 52
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    As Huhne has pleaded guilty, do I win a score off my mate or not?

    I bet him that Huhne was lying and would be found guilty but now the little gobshite has admitted his guilt before a trial, so not sure where I stand.

  53. 53
    old SHEP says:

    Chaos theory, anybody else thought that if this chunk of rock had turned up in Russia in the 1960’s… WW3.

  54. 54
    Universal Hiss says:



    is really funny. The CIFers are having a collective meltdown.

    Well done Guido!

  55. 55
  56. 56
    Universal Hiss says:


  57. 57
    old SHEP says:

    The sporting life runs a very good service to resolve betting disputes.

  58. 58
    Owin Jones says:

    Great to see Guido Fawkes going to Eastleigh this weekend to labour doorstep for Mr John O’Farrell Why not join him?

  59. 59
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    Too late. Labour have already ruined the UK!

  60. 60
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    GOLD 1,605.30 -30.20 -1.85%

    Has Mr Fawkes disposed of his gold bullion holding?

  61. 61
    News Flash says:

    Kelloggs deny rumor of tiger DNA being found in Frosties.

  62. 62
    The Wick In The Engine's Gone Out says:

    What a superb picture above this thread.

    I just wonder,is the very lovely Lorna Dunkley giving that smiling co-conspiritor some hand relief?

  63. 63
    old SHEP says:

    Who cares, Gordon Brown disposed of most of our gold bullion holdings, – £10 billion.

  64. 64
    Gold Watch says:

    Optimistic US signs, Soros and Bacon cut their stakes in gold backed exchange traded products.

    There has been no physical sell off.


    Very good time to buy.

  65. 65
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    Suspect the odds of mr john o’farrell winning Eastleigh are not dissimilar to the odds for militwit getting into No10 in 2015 with bullyballs as his chancellor – especially after his latest ‘big’ policy speech saying he would use a £2billion mansion tax to fund a £7billion 10p tax thingy.

    bullyballs understands that lack of mathematical understanding better than most – he was, after all, THE Secretary of State for Education that presided over the decline of the teaching of the Three R’s!!!

  66. 66
    old SHEP says:

    The name Dunkley does have a certain ring about it.

  67. 67
    Aydodge E. Scheisster QC says:

    Technically: You win. Huhne is a “man of conviction,” so to sp*eak, either way you look at it. The important part of the bet wasn’t that he would be found guilty by a jury, was it? If it was, then, of course, like any good brief, I’ll give you a totally different answer: You lose. For this very reason, I will be launching a new website soon– OTOH-OTOH.com

  68. 68
    Brown out and pay me damages. He can scrounging, thick as shit,meddling, timewasting, useless, socialist fudds with him. says:

    I prefer Opera.

  69. 69
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    And you can supplement it with the UKIP ringtone; ‘Parker’ Farage announcing ‘Your call M’Lady’.

  70. 70
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    Look on it as a tool of Darwinism. More morons get wiped out as they step into the traffic flow whilst staring at a small screen.

  71. 71
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    Not what that granny that used to look after young Wayne says……..

  72. 72
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    Whats with the ‘now’?

  73. 73
    Gold Watch says:

    Good article on the German repatriation:


    Perhaps this explains why Soros et al. have dumped their gold-backed ETF holdings ?

    (Definitely a very good time to buy !)

  74. 74
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    Now you see what happens when you have care in the community.

  75. 75
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    I am surprised that noone has considered the possibility that discarded sea slug penises could explain Bercow, Balls, Bonkers Johnson……. ‘Parker’ Farage is rather more difficult to explain.

  76. 76
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    I was very surprised that Putin didn’t blame Georgia and order an invasion.

  77. 77
    trigger says:

    I heard hes claiming he thought it was an intruder… I can understand that reaction in SA but by the time he was putting a third shot in her head he should have worked out it was his girlfriend.

  78. 78
    Tachybaptus says:

    It doesn’t matter what Ed says, does, sounds like or looks like. Millions of votes will come in automatically from the brain-dead faithful, many of whom are physically dead too but have postal votes. With those and the gerrymandered constituencies, Ed has nothing to fear …

    … until he is prime minister, of course, when all hell will break loose.

  79. 79
    cityferret says:

    this issue has a long way to run yet

  80. 80
  81. 81
    Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin says:

    The whole day through…
    Just an old sweet song
    Keeps Georgia on my mind…

  82. 82
    constituency trainbound says:

    the great unwashed factor

  83. 83
    Economist says:

    Very funny, but accurate, mock interview: Bernanke on Oprah

  84. 84
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    Well of course that’s what labour hopes.

    brown created the welfare benefit class and colluded with bliar to bring in large amounts of benefit dependent ,workshy, immigrants in the belief that this would keep labour in power forever.

    Personally i think his theory is flawed . But only time will tell.

  85. 85
    constituency trainbound says:

    rimming balls was brillo’s best performance of the week … stammering Eddie eye blinks and ticks working overtime when he said he’d stood up to gordon … silly richard the third

  86. 86
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    I’m afraid that Brillo is just coming across like a rather sad pensioner these days.

  87. 87
    EU Watch says:

    True. There is the referendum issue to deal with first.

  88. 88
    what the f was that ? says:

    Kim Jong-un shooting practice ?

  89. 89

    Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Liberal Democrats?


    Delete as applicable.

  90. 90
    Herman van Rumboy says:

    We give ze orders !!

  91. 91
    E. (whatta) Ballsup says:

    Then he will mysteriously disappear in the Tower of London after 3 days in office and my ladyboy will become PM.

  92. 92

    Perhaps one needs to differentiate between gold-backed and gold.

    I don’t mind the latter but unloaded the former, unusually, before Soros.

    (BTW I only had 2/4½ worth ;-))

  93. 93
    The EUSSR says:


  94. 94


    That means in excess of 100%.

  95. 95
    Gold Watch says:

    One thing you can be sure of is that Soros and Bacon will be loading up on physical whilst continuing to talk the market down.

    Gold-backed ETF’s and paper is fraud. COMEX futures coming up on the 26th. Wonder if anyone has any interest in taking delivery following Germany’s announcement after the last contract expired ?

  96. 96
    Gold Watch says:

    One thing you can be sure of is that Soros and Bacon will be loading up on physical whilst continuing to talk the market down.

    Gold-backed ETF’s and paper are fraud. COMEX futures coming up on the 26th. Wonder if anyone has any interest in taking delivery following Germany’s announcement after the last contract expired ?

  97. 97
    Expat Geordie says:

    When he was charged with murder when everyone was reporting it as an accidental killing I thought that it might be a “technical” charge, in the same way that he South Africans used to charge their hangmen with murder after an execution, and then drop the charge.

    I’m not a fan of the death penalty, but when the saffers were hanging 200 people a year back in the 80’s for murder and rape I doubt that they had an annual murder rate of 15,000 and an annual rape rate of 500,000

  98. 98
    Expat Geordie says:

    When he was charged with murder when everyone was reporting it as an accidental killing I thought that it might be a “technical” charge, in the same way that he South Africans used to charge their hangmen with murder after an execution, and then drop the charge.

    I’m not a fan of the death penalty, but when the saffers were hanging 200 people a year back in the 80′s for murder and rápé I doubt that they had an annual murder rate of 15,000 and an annual rápé rate of 500,000.

  99. 99
    constituency trainbound says:

    brillo is brillo…jo has picked up the same traits … snide sneer smile in any order but thats what the bbc does

  100. 100
    Gaze into My Crystal Ball, the year 2020... says:

    Will you sell me that potato for an ounce of this gold?

  101. 101
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    snide sneer smile – Very Labour!!

  102. 102
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    That’s exactly what labour and the beeb do

  103. 103
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    Nice wheels but here’s the rub…I bet him 20 quid that Huhne was/is a lying tosser and would be found guilty. Unforfunately that doesn’t count according to Paul and I owe him as Huhne bottled it and put his hands up.

    To be honest I’m not really arsed as twenty quid buys fuck all these days, it’s the principle.

  104. 104

    XAU is probably good to buy now.

    XAG is falling too but may go further before following XAU.

  105. 105
    Eddie Boys Bandwagon Tour briefing for party activists only says:

    they’re swallowing it … keep it coming in eastleigh

  106. 106
    Owin Jones says:

    Guido,I think I’ve fallen in hate with you.

  107. 107
    Gold Watch says:

    Yes. Silver is a lot more elastic and the price is affected more by industrial demand than gold, but not as much as it used to be.

    Current Gold:Silver ratio is over 50, which is keeping an upward pressure on Silver.

    Would not count on XAG going too much lower. The only problem with XAG is where is it’s next stable level. It just does not feel like it wants to go to $50 yet.

  108. 108
    Mongs to the left of me, UKIP to the right. Discuss. says:

    In my day the term was hypocrisy not bigotry. Are the left just retarded or do progressives now think they should re-write the dictionary ?

  109. 109
    anon. says:

    He’s on the BBC again!

  110. 110

    I will reply in full later but I am just dashing into town for a fun time with one of my multitude of friends. Back later.

  111. 111
  112. 112
    Casual Observer says:

    Apparently David Jones expressed the view that gay parents could not offer a warm and loving environment for children. The full interview I have not been able to track down, only the conveniently edited sound bite.

    OJ has been trying to make the case all day that this was a hate crime, extending it out to black families etc. etc. etc. He has been slapped down a bit on his twitter feed.

    He’s obviously a bit bored and trying to stir something up. One should of course drag out the Rotherham UKIP foster parents scandal for a refresh on family values.

  113. 113

    If one is thinking of forgoing a conventional dividend with these, then fine art is not bad either. Going for sketches of famous 19cy artists, you can still pick stuff up for quite a reasonable price. Hang them on your walls and enjoy. You are just below the steal-to-order market. Insure. Prices doubling every 4 years right now. Beat that.

  114. 114
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Brilliant performance, Baroness !

  115. 115

    OJ is turning to be a first class capitalist!

    Who would have thunk it?

  116. 116
    8illy Scratcha says:

    Illiterate twat

  117. 117
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Is it not for you to go to bed dear

  118. 118
    Casual Observer says:

    Not so sure about capitalist. Certainly is milking license fee money for all he can get. Very bourgeois yet his followers do not see this.

  119. 119
    Anonymous says:

    master…..bate. spirit of energy.
    look at the related baby.Lon..ion world of elements.

    earth will be worshipped by all.
    murdoch owns SKY.
    wind (rush) and fire (rush) cornered by b…….hot…air………..lair.
    so that leaves the sea.
    who will be the sea lord…the 1st?

  120. 120
    Res Ipsa says:

    Doesn’t the whole of the left wing chattering twittering class intelligencia aspire to be proper capitalists and make as much money as Polly Twoddle

  121. 121
    Res Ipsa says:

    Is it possible to find out what he is paid for appearing on the biased beeb

  122. 122
    Gold Watch says:

    The only problem with art as an investment is it is not easily divisible, and is not fungible.

    Certainly does offer good utility if one likes the look of it on the wall. To my mind the opportunity to see the world through the eyes of another is priceless, but does not make for easy trade.

  123. 123
    tabblenabble 01 says:

    Ben the Bernanke is J e w i s h


    Geithner is a chosen one.

    And now US Treasury Secretary elect is one Jack Lew who also happens to be J e w i s h.


    The J e w s are a minority ethnic population in the US. they represent only around 2% of the US population. What are the odds on all of these people ib the US establishment being J e w s?

    Or for the more scientifically minded out there. How does one group figure at rates which directly rejects the statistical Null Hypothesis?

    Could it be that they are just smarter than everyone else…which if yes, it begs the question…has racial equality legislation really been about protecting just one privileged group. Just think of all the libertarianism, political correctness and just sheer strange politics that have been brought upon us over extent decades.

  124. 124
    Libertarian says:

    Liberalism, not libertarianism.

  125. 125
    Pistonhead says:

    Fuck of bumsex tosser

  126. 126
    Hmmm says:

    Maybe she had a gorilla suit on

  127. 127
    Hmmm says:

    That interview with ofarrell on news night was appalling. What a shallow twat, with his lame joke ready meal. God, even the girlfriend here, who has little interest looked up, and said who’s that wanker

  128. 128
    David Ward says:

    Oh, how I agree with you, mein Fuhrer..I hope you have a solution to this…problem?

  129. 129
    Worth watching says:

    American, but shows how the EU has duped the UK:

  130. 130
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    per day?

  131. 131
    ?..? says:

    Maybe, if it is accompanied by a Glock, a couple of bullets, a bottle of Johnnie Walker (or in his case Old Grouse?) and a locked library……

  132. 132
    ?..? says:

    OK, but with possible exception of Merlot and one or two decent fromages.

  133. 133
    Ancient seafarer says:

    Have you also checked out your petrol tank?

  134. 134
    Ancient seafarer says:

    Dunkly doughnuts also have rings in the middle.

  135. 135
    Ancient seafarer says:

    Was she actually remunerated for that appearance? Money for old dope?

  136. 136
    Ancient seafarer says:

    Well, credit where credit is due – he got one bit right by saying he had: “no idea”

  137. 137
    Cicciolina says:

    and it is now called Mr Squeaker I presume…

  138. 138
    Cicciolina says:

    It was just a starting pistorius…

  139. 139
    Let's Do The Timewarp Again says:


  140. 140
    Sir William Wade says:

    You may like gooey French cheese but I Camembert it.

  141. 141
    the savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    The tonsorial shortcomings of Harry Cole and Kim Jong Eun ?

    Are perchance related ??

  142. 142
    The Treacherous Tosser in No 10 says:

    I’ve been up to my waist in mud – no prob!

    But I’m up to my neck in shit with the jolly Partee members.


  143. 143
    An EUSSR Apparatchik - perhaps Kinnockio says:

    Vee hav vays of making you obey boyo!

  144. 144
    Bullers says:

    No, I haven’t got one of those new fangled phones

  145. 145
    Bullers says:

    Were you right wing correct enough?

  146. 146
    Bullers says:

    Oh, that explains a lot then Dave

  147. 147
    ancient Shep \nee old Shep says:

    Oh, I get the joke.

  148. 148
    Bullers says:

    Elsie dear, he is actually a centaur, they disappeared into mythology until kbab meat came along, I hope that helps you

  149. 149

    Someone here is not all they are cracked up to be…

  150. 150
    Elton Johnny says:

    Having had two children naturally

    I can give you all lessons about how to bring up happy and balanced children

    We are all natural gays you see

    And we have astounding arrogance

    Anyone who contradicts us is a f a s c i s t

  151. 151
    Bullers says:

    They are curries, because when you add the curry spices it all just tastes of curry, so any meat just tastes the same, how Eric Pickles manages to shove so much down his throat, probably assisted by 2 pints of Black Sheep.

  152. 152
    Bullers says:

    Wasn’t that a character in Captain Pugwash

  153. 153
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    The header of a recycled story from February isn’t much of an April Fools’ Day joke, really– if it’s got Neo’s face in it, it would be more like a Hallowe’en prank, wouldn’t you say?

  154. 154
    Dr Spock says:

    What will gays say when they reproduce themselevs by cloning like D o l l y the lamb

    That it is natural?

    That it is supernatural?

    Thaat is the next, logical, progressive step…

  155. 155
    Bullers says:

    Their time will come don’t worry

  156. 156
    Editor of GQ glossy rag says:

    We did give him a haircut though

    He now looks less like his wife’s mop…

  157. 157
    Gordoom says:

    It all started in Brussels Sprouts

  158. 158
    Dave the Rave is naked says:

    Stop taking my name in vain

    We are having a Bullingdon Club meeting at Chequers this weekend

    Planning our collective move to Gstaad when the roof falls in to join Natty and Cleggy senior

    Remember that we are all in this together…

  159. 159
  160. 160
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    The ß looks like a B but sounds like a S..

    v Apt.

  161. 161
    Zombie banker says:

    We do all our transactions in Cyprus

    No taxes at all there…

  162. 162
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    Wonder how AlJaBeebya will report this (If they do?).

  163. 163
    Bullers says:

    ” ‘Parker’ Farage is rather more difficult to explain.” Could the words you are looking for Strange Particle the unexplainable

  164. 164
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    The entire Globe is local.

    Protectionsism, only marxism is a swifter way to poverty.

  165. 165
    Gordno Brown says:

    I used to have a mobile phone.

  166. 166
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    Rather more than that for White farmers…

    Anti-Apartheid seems to mean anti-whitey…

  167. 167
    An Extremely Ancient Seafarer says:

    It’ll be a toss up between King Neptune and Davy Jones

  168. 168
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    Tobin tax will do NOTHING except make traded prices more volatile.

    Only lowering the amount of credit can stop excessive speculation. Marxist governments cannot lower credit without revealing the harm their transfer taxes have done to the economy via destruction of comparative advantage.

  169. 169
    An economist says:

    UK Stamp Duty on shares = 0.5%

    EU share transfer tax = 0.3%

    Are you window lickers completely ignorant?

  170. 170
    The real and very annoyed Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    Oi, numb nuts!! Get your own name.

    You must be a Labour victim of Shirley’s ejerkashun policies.

  171. 171
    Calendar Girl says:

    W H Y T H E F U C K I S T H I S B L O G B E I N G D A T E D

    1 5 F E B R U A R Y???????

  172. 172
    A doctor says:

    H o m o s e x u a l i t y is an unnatural practice

    To inflict it on children is perversion

    And any aggressive and arrogant gays who attack and insult me for these perfectly reasonable opinions prove that they have no respect for my basic right to speak my mind

    And their total hypocrisy…

  173. 173
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    LOL, lots of bile and vitriol from the leftie lickspittles.

  174. 174
    3-2-1 says:

    Are you Ted Rogers?

  175. 175
    Jimmy's Rightie Quote Of The Day says:

    “@grantshapps has told me that his home has 4 bedrooms with one being used as a study, ergo his children do not have to share room,” he [vincent mcaviney, sky news] tweeted. Shapps is understood to have answered that the difference was the taxpayer wasn’t funding his living arrangements.”

  176. 176
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    WordPress doing an april fools thingie? Americans are a few hours behind us.

  177. 177
    Owen Jones says:

    Petition: IDS to prove he can live on £53/wk leapt to nearly 17,000 signatures today! http://chn.ge/10rVQ0O

  178. 178
    Gooey Blob says:

    No, UKIP will help Labour get elected.

    The only way to stop Labour winning is to find out which party is best placed to beat them in your constituency, and vote for them. That could be the Lib Dems, the Tories, SNP or PC. A vote for anyone else is effectively a vote for Labour.

  179. 179
  180. 180
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Cut out the fags and booze and you could even open a savings acct. £53 is too much.

  181. 181
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    It certainly will not be happening to Tony Blair.

  182. 182
    Rumpledforeskin says:

    these climate change scientists are taking the piss
    “Sea ice around Antarctica is increasing despite the warming global climate,” said the study’s lead author Richard Bintanja, from the KNMI.

    “This is caused by melting of the ice sheets from below,” he told the Reuters news agency.

  183. 183
    Anonymous says:

    meanwhile on bbc parliament they are showing their 1983 election night/next day coverage in all its glory*. and frankly it is the best thing on television today which speaks volumes no doubt about me and television itself.

    * well who would know if they’ve cut bits out or not

  184. 184
    Gooey Blob says:

    Socialists don’t believe it’s possible to live on 53 quid because they have no idea how to spend money carefully. As far as they are concerned, throwing other people’s money at everything will solve all our problems.

  185. 185
    Jim Savile says:

    I always liked Roger the cabin boy

  186. 186
    Ann D Burnham says:

    I have an app for that

  187. 187
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    The pound was devalued by 25% during the leadership of the Maximum Imbecile – had that not happened the £53 would be worth £66.25 today.

  188. 188
    fruitcake says:

    sounds like Cluedo BUT, the Leveson version should be called Clueless………I’ll get me coat

  189. 189
    Rumpledforeskin says:

    Napolean Solo
    helping to defeat THRUSH

  190. 190
    Calendar Boy says:


  191. 191
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    That excludes Ocean Finance, Individual Voluntary Agreements, b@nkrvptcy, short spells in goal, cash-in-hand, ‘ducking ‘n’ diving’ and shoplifting, doesn’t it ?

  192. 192
    Sir William Wade says:

    Then there’s that Gideon ben Osbornowitz at Number 11, and Moshe Kingstein at the Bank. Apparently they attend the same syn-a-gogo. They say the new man, Carnowski, is in league with them too. As for that Lagrandovitsch woman….

  193. 193
    Rumpledforeskin says:

    yes, yes, alright Napoleon

  194. 194
    fruitcake says:

    Yes, given the state of UK politics, Guido could keep this going for weeks and no-one would notice. Maybe even Private Eye could catch up.

  195. 195
    Fuck it says:

    The Tories need to scrap the BBC. They could call it the “£20 tax cut” which is roughly what you’d have to earn to pay the BBC TV tax.

  196. 196
    Sir William Wade says:

    Most share transfers take place electronically and are free of Stamp Duty (having paid a one-off entry tariff). The Tobin tax would apply to these and all manner of other financial transactions.

    It would be easily avoided by using an exchange outside the EU, so that is what people would do.

  197. 197
    fruitcake says:

    He believes in Jules Verne

  198. 198
    ancient Shep says:

    \\\\\\Sounds like desperation to me.

  199. 199
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    Can socialists stop living on other peoples backs?

    That’s the real question…

  200. 200
    The BBC are cunts says:

    It’s a ‘Licence Fee’. NOT a BBC TV Tax. FFS !

    Stop using Doublespeak.

  201. 201
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:


    dolphins are one of the most promiscuous animals on the planet. They don’t mate just for reproduction. They enjoy sex. It’s a social binder for them, like a handshake. On a good day a dolphin can have sex 50 times. Dolphins do it with everyone . . . old, young, big, small, even family members. Homosexual behavior is common, as is masturbation; dolphins have even been known to make advances at human beings.

  202. 202
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    Did Russell Brand mention you recently…

  203. 203
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    Basically the EUUSR states will only be able to rip off those corralled into pension schemes.

  204. 204
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Good cost saving for Sunderland AFC n David Miliband resigning. I am not aware of Di Canio being involved in rendition and torture, however David Miliband is believed to have been.

  205. 205
    Pawn Sandwich says:


  206. 206
    Edith Milliband says:

    Nope, it’s a tax. Especially when the BBC fucks at TVLA tell me I have an account with them…no I fucking don’t, they just have a database of all the addresses so they can presume that you owe them money.

  207. 207
    Rumpledforeskin says:

    President Obama is driving through Ireland looking for his ancestors.
    Spotting a local sat on a wall he says
    “Oy, Paddy, can you tell me the way to Kilinney ?”
    “How would you be knowing that my name is Paddy ?”
    “Well I guessed isn’t it”
    “Well you can fucking well guess your way to Killiney”

  208. 208
    Jimmy says:

    Well he has a head start as Mrs. IDS’s daddy doesn’t charge him rent on his country pile, but as the council tax on it is about sixty quid a week then all I can say is if his budgeting skills are as good as his boasts perhaps Butch should switch him with Gideon?

  209. 209
    Chlöe Sal Gerbeeba says:

    Scrap the Propaganda Tax.


    Poetic license, poetic justice.

  210. 210
    Joss Ayinglike says:

  211. 211
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    That shows your stupidity Jimmy. If you are on benefits you do not pay council tax.

  212. 212
    Koba says:

    The Tories simply cannot scrap another political party, that’s down to its complsory membership. Shame the Labour party hasn’t got any of it’s own policies though.

  213. 213
  214. 214
    JH392842934123 says:

    Christ. What a bunch of joyless twats. Comments on here are vicious, but they usually have a joie de vivre about them.

    But remember, it’s the evil Tories who are the same old nasty party. Not the authoritarian left – oh no – they are all pure of heart and intent.

    Lots of little examples on there of individuals who would be more than happy to get the job turning on the taps to the gas chambers once the left really gets in to its stride. As long as it’s for a good cause, like National Socialism.

  215. 215
    Jimmy says:

    Boy is my face red. Two small points

    i) No one said anything about IDS being on benefits. The boast was living on 53 quid a week
    ii) Leaving that to one side, the old rule about the unemployed not paying council tax, guess what’s happening to that today?

    It’s probably not a good idea to get all your news from here. You may miss one or two things.

  216. 216
    it is base minus base plus 2. says:

    all knowledge is in the base.
    all strokes when the bodi is being oiled works best when its direction is heart,

    base is read.
    the heart loves to be free. soaring high on the eagle.
    we all serve the heart of the not so free.

  217. 217

    This page is about as up to date as Dodi Fayed’s cock.

  218. 218
    Conrad says:

    Apartheid was a crime control measure as much as anything else and if anybody doubts it worked consider the fact that the murder rate alone has increased fourfold ,if not more ,since it’s abolition.

Seen Elsewhere

100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015
Fate of Eurozone Rests in Hands of Videogame Expert | TechnoGuido
UKIP After Farage | Asa Bennett
Eichmann Called on Arabs to Continue War on Jews | Speccie
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times

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