March 28th, 2013

LISTEN: Clegg Blames the Postman for Handy-cock Silence

Clegg has been spinning hard on LBC this morning. On Handy-cock he, surprise surprise, says he wasn’t told about the allegations:

“My office never received the letter from the claimant’s solicitors (in 2011), we did however receive a letter in February this year. Police have looked at this before and dismissed it on the advice of the CPS. My chief whip has gone down to Portsmouth and spoken to Mike Hancock’s solicitor. I hope you won’t imply in any way that we are not acting thoroughly and quickly to what are very serious allegations. I’ve not spoken to Mike Hancock, he’s been very ill.”


Given the story broke in 2010, Clegg has a lot to thank the postal service for. On David “The Jews” Ward:

“I’ve spoken to David Ward, and he’s apologised. I am finalising an agreement with him that he will commit never to use generalised language that is offensive to communities in Britain.”

Because that worked so well last time…


103 Comments

  1. 1
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    I’ve never heard of Mike Handycock.

    Like

    • 7
      Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

      I have heard of Mike Handycock but I haven’t spoken to him as I don’t believe in using telephones. I speak to errant MPs via the Whip.

      Like

      • 14
        Paniagua Solo says:

        Coño

        1. He says Handycock vigorously denies the claims. But how the fuck does this weasel know if he hasn’t spoken to him personally as he is very very ill?

        2. He says he never received the letter in 2011, but how come every fucking shool child in the UK with a passing interest in politics knew about this, but yet he didn’t

        Coño

        Like

        • 49
          Nick Clegg says:

          Ik ben een zeer speciaal soort klootzak

          Like

        • 66
          Vlad the Loudhailer says:

          If Clegg is not informed, he states he therefore doesn’t know. So Clegg needs to be informed about everything for him to know anything. He’s going to struggle after the next election with Ed’s blank sheet of paper.

          Cleg the Vacant and Vince the Forgetful, a real force in British politics!

          Like

        • 92
          Just Saying says:

          He says Hancock is seriously ill and has not been in Parliament for a long time (no time span or illness diagnostic mentioned), yet Clegg is obviously losing his temper over being persistantly questioned on these “silly” affairs.
          Would hate to have Clegg as a witness for me in court. A good prosecution brief would tie him in knots. As a poker player he would lose all his money rather quickly.

          Like

        • 100
          lojolondon says:

          What a slimeball Clogg is! – so shifty, a little excuse for everything!

          We all know that Handycock doesn’t go to work (Westminster) because he is so ill, but doesn’t Clogg care that such an ill person is able to visit Russia on a ‘jollie’ while too ill to come into the office?

          As always, you get the representative you deserve, and the good people of Portsmouth voted this cretin into the position of MP instead of making him get a proper job, they deserve him!

          Like

    • 15
      Nicholas Henry Ftang Biscuit-Barrel Clegg says:

      I may have heard of Mike Handicock, but if you have no evidence that I did then I didn’t, and Chris Huhne was dealing with the matter

      Like

      • 37
        Faq De Fano says:

        And Chris Huhne was waving his arms around like one of his windmills to get points, and you know children, points mean prizes!

        The Leyhill apartment hotel welcomes clean-living individuals who will never be naughty again, so that’s alright then!

        My office didn’t receive the registered letter and nobody signed for it when it arrived either!

        I haven’t an effing clue what I’m talking about, but you said I had a few minutes to explain myself, or the LibDem spin on the matter, or how to grow parsnips…

        Like

    • 33
      the poor bloody tax-payer says:

      has hancock got a quack’s note?

      is he receiving sick pay?

      Like

      • 64
        Joe Public on PAYE,Still Over Taxed & bled dry on everything says:

        Plus Lavish Expenses…..????

        Like

      • 78
        Mad Jack the Jungle Quack says:

        Nothing wrong with the scrim shanker that an enema and painting his gums with gentian violet solution won’t put right.

        Like

        • 84
          Curly says:

          Back in about 1950 the family doctor painted gentian violet all over the left half my face because there was a spot on my cheek (which went away on its own in the fullness of time). I felt like a right dick for about a month until it wore/washed off.

          WTF is it actually anyway?

          Like

    • 73
      PC Dixon says:

      What is it about Clegg – never knows about anything till its in the Press – its no wonder he wants the press gagged – would do well in Iran

      Like

  2. 2
    Domponred says:

    I take it that Nick does not read the newspapers that are placed on his desk every morning then.

    Like

    • 20
      Tessa Tickles says:

      I doubt that Nick Clegg can actually read.

      “My chief whip has gone down to Portsmouth and spoken to Mike Hancock’s solicitor.”

      Uh-huh. That’s the most cost-effective carbon-friendly way of speaking to Hancock’s solicitor. So much better than, say, using a phone.

      Like

    • 47
      the dance the peacock. says:

      plebread
      giantsimagin.

      ple.bread
      pleb.read.

      Like

  3. 3
    No excuses says:

    Clegg and his team read Guido. THEY KNEW.

    Like

    • 31
      Back@woodsman says:

      Surely not ? Afterall, as a sleepy backwater of t’internet, populated by closet racists and nutjobs , you can’t expect those engaged in the important work of government, to have noticed the regular updates on Mr. Handycocks’ pecadilloes posted here ?

      Like

      • 74
        PC Dixon says:

        Well Back@woodsman – obviously YOU know so what are you a ‘closet racist’ or ‘nutjob’ ?

        Like

        • 79
          Mad Jack the Jungle Quack says:

          Less of the ‘closet’ please we know what we are and i for one am black and proud!

          Like

    • 69
      Psssst says:

      EUS*SR Cleg*gy is in the top 20 high profile seats to be targeted by some chap

      called Nigel & his party in the next GE which will be sooner !! rather than

      later……..

      There is no way CMDDD will allow this chap called Nigel a free run until he’s

      unstoppable in May 2015……

      Watch this space…….

      Like

  4. 4
    Illiterate Prat says:

    Guido, I hope you have simply forgotten that to a Democrat in America, putting ‘cross- hairs’ on someone’s photo is considered to be a death-threat. You had better look under your bed for any holidaying Feds.

    Like

  5. 5
    Hear No Evil says:

    It’s sub justice innit and what’s more he’s never heard of Hancock and not one of his team had thought to warn him that there may be trouble ahead with their very own Jimmy Savile in waiting.

    Like

    • 93
      Need to Know says:

      Did Handycock ever work for the BBC?

      Like

      • 101
        BBC says:

        Yes, he was a Director of BBC children’s programmes (south), according to his online CV on his constituency website. This was removed and the CV rewritten when the Jimmy Saville scandal broke. Also removed at the same time was the fact that he was a Director of the NSPCC (southern region)

        Like

        • 102
          Pedowatch says:

          Looks like more to be investigated here on this Pervert. I can confirm the BBC above that these items were removed from his CV the moment the Savile scandal broke. Looks like there is more for the media to investigate here!

          Like

          • Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Great Queen Street says:

            As many of you know the Brotherhood has been protecting pedos for years. In fact the Police Inspector or was it Chief Inspector, a fellow Brother, who used to protect Handy in Portsmouth is now Head of the Pedo unit in Sussex. Jahbulon.

            Like

  6. 6

    Could Mr Hancock in a few months please just so we can spread out the by elections. Wouldn’t like to have all my excitement at once

    Like

    • 57
      Handycock says:

      You’re all just goona have to wait.

      As was the case with my old chum in Eastleigh there is something called innocent until proven guilty.

      So there!

      Anyone with any case issues for the timebeing please forward to Chris Huhne, C/O Leyhill Open Holiday Camp.

      He’s having free lessons in parachuting this weekend.

      That’s how cushy it is!

      Like

    • 90
      VINCE CABLE says:

      I don’t remember Mike Hancock. Who is he, anyway?

      Like

  7. 8
    pissed off voter says:

    Is there a bigger pillock in parliament than Clegg? – ok DC runs him close but there is a little more recovery time between Dave’s lies.

    Like

    • 28
      Anonymous says:

      Desperate people take risks, good leaders take risks.

      The distinction is who receives the reward for the risk.
      A good leader is never the benefactor.

      The blind eye turned to the destruction of individuals lives, for the leaders personal gain, is the malignance of our current political cabal.

      Like

    • 41
      Anonymous says:

      Why not start “THE LIST”. The list of all those that have died due to lack of action and care since the election.

      The qualification is that they were told of the issue before the death occurred, and the cause of death was avoidable.

      Like

  8. 9
    Lord Palmerston says:

    That explains the 2011 letter, it doesn’t explain the newspaper stories about it in 2010:

    http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/local/portsmouth-south-mp-mike-hancock-arrested-1-2299373

    Like

  9. 10
    Arsene Wenger says:

    There may have been a letter but I didn’t see it

    Like

  10. 11
    Jack Nicholson says:

    How many times does the postman have to ring your bloody doorbell, Nick ?

    Like

  11. 12
    Yeah right, Nick. says:

    Mr Hancock has been very ill, and his leader hasn’t spoken to him. What a Hunt.

    Like

    • 39
      Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

      The Liberal Democrats have known that I am a Pervert and sexual predator for years. The Council of Europe reported me to Ashdown and he did nothing, the Security Services told Kennedy I was Russian Spy and all he did was remove me from the shadow defence portfolio. I have not been to a Liberal Democrat conference for years as I am banned from them because of my disgusting sexual behaviour. My sexuall predatory behaviour has been the talk of Portsmouth for decades. So keep up the good work Nick – see no evil hear no evil. Boaz.

      Like

      • 42
        Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Great Queen Street says:

        Jahbulon Handy.

        Like

      • 46
        Katya says:

        Vladimir says there is a quick exit for you and a KGB pension waiting for you if you want out, my teddy bear. Olga and the girls in St Petersburg are all hoping you will come too.

        Like

        • 53
          Will says:

          the liberals always have a problem in being ruthless with errant mps. Nick tell him to resign on ill health and take his pension or else this will run and run, either that or ask some of his Russian contacts to visit him !!

          Like

  12. 16
    Labour: Still corrupt, still nasty says:

    I put this in the previous thread but it bears mentioning, as I was sick to my stomach when I read Jimmy’s comments yesterday about the Stafford deaths. It shows there are no depths Labour won’t stoop to in order to avoid responsibility for what happened. He tried to claim less than 10 people died, but he’s doing the classic Labour obfuscation of deliberately misrepresenting one part of the inquiry which said less than 10 died as a DIRECT result of neglect, but ignores the rest of the report which said 1,200 died as an indirect result.

    Most disgracefully, true to form for a Labour propagandist, he tries to posit that the number of deaths was normal for a hospital, despite the fact the whole inquiry was triggered by a red flag being raised over a disproportionately high number of deaths between 2005 and 2008. That wasn’t from the baby eating coalition, it wasn’t from Thatcher, it was triggered by the NHS itself.

    But Labour never let facts get in the way of shirking their responsibility for what happened on their watch. And obedient twats like Jimmy are assigned to spread their lies.

    Like

    • 26
      the poor bloody tax-payer says:

      one of the wonders of the age is the size of the twatocracy

      who pays it?

      Like

    • 56
      Jimmy says:

      “but ignores the rest of the report which said 1,200 died as an indirect result.”

      It says nothing of the sort you illiterate twat.

      ” I was sick to my stomach”

      Then go to the doctor, drama queen.

      Like

      • 60
        JH23902392389 says:

        It says’?

        What, you mean the post? The one you made? Why not say ‘I said’?

        I think we could have a couple of people controlling the Jimmy sock puppet.

        The cvnt knows he has overstepped the mark defending Stafford, which he and the likes of Tom Watson would be having hysterics over if it happened on the blue team’s watch.

        ‘It’ doesn’t like being reminded that the B:N:P are basically disillusioned Labour voters either. Do it often.

        Like

  13. 17
    David Ward says:

    Sieg Heil

    Like

  14. 18
    Glyn H says:

    So no one from the holier than thou Liberals monitors this blog? Even for info that might be advantageous to them?
    No wonder people despise senior politicians for being two faced when in office.

    Like

    • 30
      Vince Incapable says:

      I have checked my diary. On the day Nick described, neither my wife nor myself had ever heard about the internet.

      May 5th 2011
      Asked wife, “Have you heard of something called Internet?
      Answer “No.”

      Like

    • 38
      Tessa Tickles says:

      Someone called Mark Pack from the LimpDums used to comment on here continuously, telling us how evil were were to suggest that dear Chris Huhne (tireless saviour of the world) had got his wife to take his speeding points. He was dipshit of Biblical proportions and I used to love ridiculing him. Sadly, the rest of them fear to tread here. The real world scares them.

      Like

  15. 19
    Nick Clegg aged 13 and 3/4 says:

    Sorry Miss

    My hamster ate my howework.

    Like

  16. 21
    David Ward says:

    I am holidaying in Wannsee.

    Like

  17. 23
    the poor bloody tax-payer says:

    we can rely on the post

    – its the envy of the world

    Like

  18. 24
    libdem prick says:

    clegg dishonest,no scruples just a squirming two faced cnut

    Like

  19. 27
    Anonymous says:

    Cleggy,
    Hancock isn’t a particularly ill man for lib dem.

    Like

  20. 29
    politicians are bent bastards says:

    slimy bastard clegg

    Like

  21. 40
    portsmouth news says:

    Nobody in Portsmouth knows mike Hancock.we are an island and the postal service is very poor.nobody has ever heard of him especially the council including the cx.it’s a complete mystery.until we saw the picture on the news last night we didn’t know he was our mp.nothing to see hear so please move along there

    Like

    • 72
      Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

      In addition Princess molested me. She refused to kiss me or let me feel her tits and she refused tho suck my cock when I showed it to her. Boaz.

      Like

  22. 43
    Lard Everard - Giant Cockroach says:

    We Liberal Democrat cockroaches are indestructible. Look at Eastleigh…

    Like

  23. 44
    Off topic and the menu says:

    Unknown meat in take-away curry.

    Possibly camel or bison. Dog and cat not meaty enough.

    Like

    • 61
      Anonymous says:

      Oh dear! Has anyone told Nick?

      Like

      • 97
        Not me gov! says:

        Somebody may have said something , but I don’t recall when and I certainly don’t recall any conversations with Vinceand neither does he in fact, or anybody else about these unsubstantiated allegations.

        Like

    • 86
      Curly says:

      One sincerely hopes that restaurant is nowhere near Stafford.

      Like

  24. 45
    inside- out says:

    So high profile court case last year concerning Hancock’s Russian intern on every news outlet.Nobody at Libdem HQ inquired into one of their MP’s behavour.I find that very, very hard to believe,given how parties worry about their public profiles. Once again Clegg is having to admit “I know nothing”,prehaps the great British public will at last see through that ignorant defence.We can only hope.

    Like

    • 67
      Totally Confused & in Complete Isolation from the Universe says:

      What a ConsLieLaborLibDims Politician “Being Economical with the Truth”

      surely not……

      Next you will saying a Cabinet Minster has been jailed for perjury ………

      Ooohh Chris Huh*ne already has !!!!!!!!

      well I never received the letter, or read the newspapers, or listened to the radio

      or watched television, or this internet thingy……..

      & who is Guido whats his name…….

      I must get back to my hermit life style……

      Like

  25. 51
    Vince Cable says:

    I don’t remember me.

    Like

  26. 52
    The Public says:

    So, Nick Clegg lies again.

    Like

  27. 54
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    Yes, I heard the Hunt on LBC this morning- the first time ever. Who listens to the Hunt? Surely he needs sectioning.

    Like

  28. 55
    Shooty* says:

    We’re not IMPLYING anything, Nick, you slimy compromising policy wrecking waste of space. Anyone with half a brain is expressly stating that you’ve not acted quickly or thoroughly.

    DAvid Ward won’t use offensive language. Oh good. He’ll just think it then, and give lip service to being all equality friendly and that. Splendid.

    Like

  29. 58

    I can see a really good sting with a twenty something blonde who happens to cross his path and thus revealing to us the extent of Handycock’s illness.

    Like

  30. 59
    Oh for gawds sake... says:

    “I’ve not spoken to Mike Hancock, he’s been very ill.”

    Wouldn’t it be more accurate to say “I’ve not spoken to Mike Hancock, he’s very sick.”

    Like

    • 71
      Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

      I am not sick just acting on the Grand Master’s instructions to lie low for a while. In fact it was reported on this blog a couple of weeks ago that I was at a Council of Europe meeting in Strasbourg, on expenses, shagging. Boaz.

      Like

  31. 68
    Nick Clegg's speaking bathroom mirror says:

    Nick, Nick, stop it, stop lying. Now just reflect on what I’ve just said.

    Like

  32. 70
    Penfold says:

    What a dipstick, does anyone?, bar the usual moronic lumpen-proletariat, believe this absolute pile of 5H11T3

    Like

  33. 77
    liberal engineering says:

    Yay! Guido’s sights are out again.

    Handycock is fucked then…..

    Can we have some sights on Clegg too, Ignoring errant MP’s once is a mistake, twice is a taking a liberty

    Like

  34. 80
    damned impertinent questions says:

    Two points:

    1

    Like

  35. 81
    damned impertinent questions says:

    Two points:

    1 is Clegg seriously saying that neither he nor his staff never read Guido> If not, why the hell didn’t they ask questions? I have always assumed he was a brass monkey on Lib Dem scandal so is this proof?

    2 the old ‘there was no prosecution’ test wont wash. Prosecution tests are beyond all reasonable doubt. Party disciplines are ‘balance of probabilities’

    Like

  36. 82
    bertie wooster says:

    I’ve notified the OED to add another definition of the word “leader” when applied to the LibDems:

    “Someone who wears a badge that says “leader” but who has no leadership qualities and has no idea what goes on in his organisation”.

    To add to the comedy hour feeling of the piece, how do you “finalise an agreement” to make someone less racist? I guess he can be racist on Tuesdays…

    Like

  37. 83
    Oscar Wiener says:

    Good job they didn’t set Jack Nicholson’s film at Clegg’s place. The postman obviously never rings there at all…

    Like

  38. 89
    The UKIP.ORG surge says:

    Don’t worry Nick

    You will soon be relieved of your Gold Plated Parlia*mentary seat

    in Shef*field Hal*lam…..

    Remember East*leigh was a 28% swing to UKIP.ORG so less than

    2% points to victory for the surge of UKIP.ORG ……….

    You will soon be relieved of your Gold Plated Perks & Exp*enses as

    your mendacious ‘Partner’ will call the General Election BEFORE May

    2015 in his last desperate bid to stop UKIP.ORG

    You will soon be relieved of your Gold Plated Pension as UKIP.ORG

    finally halts the Cons*LieLabor*LebDims gravy train for Good……

    So enjoy your Tax Payer Funded LONG Easter Break it could well be

    your LAST……..

    Nick “Do have a nice day & a good nights sleep”

    as we are always thinking of you………………

    Like

  39. 91
    old grumpy says:

    The Hancock saga has been festering for more years than I care to count. There has been an online campaign, waged by disaffected Portsmouth Council Tax payers, for at least 6 years to my knowledge.

    I used to monitor them on behalf of political contacts (not LibDim).

    One development some 4-5 years ago was a series of public e-mails from this campaign group, to Clagg, complaining about Hancock and demanding action by LibDim Leadership.

    Like

  40. 95
    Nick Clegg usual alibis department says:

    Yawn!!!

    Like

  41. 96
    Vince Cable non-memorial nursing home says:

    Is it time for my cup of tea yet nurse?

    Like

    • 99
      David Ward says:

      Don’t worry Vince, the Jews are on there way. They control everything you know, even tea.

      Like


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Before Miliband spoke, a school choir sang ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay. The first verse of which goes like this:

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cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


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