March 28th, 2013

LISTEN: Clegg Blames the Postman for Handy-cock Silence

Clegg has been spinning hard on LBC this morning. On Handy-cock he, surprise surprise, says he wasn’t told about the allegations:

“My office never received the letter from the claimant’s solicitors (in 2011), we did however receive a letter in February this year. Police have looked at this before and dismissed it on the advice of the CPS. My chief whip has gone down to Portsmouth and spoken to Mike Hancock’s solicitor. I hope you won’t imply in any way that we are not acting thoroughly and quickly to what are very serious allegations. I’ve not spoken to Mike Hancock, he’s been very ill.”


Given the story broke in 2010, Clegg has a lot to thank the postal service for. On David “The Jews” Ward:

“I’ve spoken to David Ward, and he’s apologised. I am finalising an agreement with him that he will commit never to use generalised language that is offensive to communities in Britain.”

Because that worked so well last time…


103 Comments

  1. 1
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    I’ve never heard of Mike Handycock.

  2. 2
    Domponred says:

    I take it that Nick does not read the newspapers that are placed on his desk every morning then.

  3. 3
    No excuses says:

    Clegg and his team read Guido. THEY KNEW.

  4. 4
    Illiterate Prat says:

    Guido, I hope you have simply forgotten that to a Democrat in America, putting ‘cross- hairs’ on someone’s photo is considered to be a death-threat. You had better look under your bed for any holidaying Feds.

  5. 5
    Hear No Evil says:

    It’s sub justice innit and what’s more he’s never heard of Hancock and not one of his team had thought to warn him that there may be trouble ahead with their very own Jimmy Savile in waiting.

  6. 6

    Could Mr Hancock in a few months please just so we can spread out the by elections. Wouldn’t like to have all my excitement at once

  7. 7
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    I have heard of Mike Handycock but I haven’t spoken to him as I don’t believe in using telephones. I speak to errant MPs via the Whip.

  8. 8
    pissed off voter says:

    Is there a bigger pillock in parliament than Clegg? – ok DC runs him close but there is a little more recovery time between Dave’s lies.

  9. 9
    Lord Palmerston says:

    That explains the 2011 letter, it doesn’t explain the newspaper stories about it in 2010:

    http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/local/portsmouth-south-mp-mike-hancock-arrested-1-2299373

  10. 10
    Arsene Wenger says:

    There may have been a letter but I didn’t see it

  11. 11
    Jack Nicholson says:

    How many times does the postman have to ring your bloody doorbell, Nick ?

  12. 12
    Yeah right, Nick. says:

    Mr Hancock has been very ill, and his leader hasn’t spoken to him. What a Hunt.

  13. 13
    Piers Stefan O'Meara Pughe-Morgan says:

    + .30-30

  14. 14
    Paniagua Solo says:

    Coño

    1. He says Handycock vigorously denies the claims. But how the fuck does this weasel know if he hasn’t spoken to him personally as he is very very ill?

    2. He says he never received the letter in 2011, but how come every fucking shool child in the UK with a passing interest in politics knew about this, but yet he didn’t

    Coño

  15. 15
    Nicholas Henry Ftang Biscuit-Barrel Clegg says:

    I may have heard of Mike Handicock, but if you have no evidence that I did then I didn’t, and Chris Huhne was dealing with the matter

  16. 16
    Labour: Still corrupt, still nasty says:

    I put this in the previous thread but it bears mentioning, as I was sick to my stomach when I read Jimmy’s comments yesterday about the Stafford deaths. It shows there are no depths Labour won’t stoop to in order to avoid responsibility for what happened. He tried to claim less than 10 people died, but he’s doing the classic Labour obfuscation of deliberately misrepresenting one part of the inquiry which said less than 10 died as a DIRECT result of neglect, but ignores the rest of the report which said 1,200 died as an indirect result.

    Most disgracefully, true to form for a Labour propagandist, he tries to posit that the number of deaths was normal for a hospital, despite the fact the whole inquiry was triggered by a red flag being raised over a disproportionately high number of deaths between 2005 and 2008. That wasn’t from the baby eating coalition, it wasn’t from Thatcher, it was triggered by the NHS itself.

    But Labour never let facts get in the way of shirking their responsibility for what happened on their watch. And obedient twats like Jimmy are assigned to spread their lies.

  17. 17
    David Ward says:

    Sieg Heil

  18. 18
    Glyn H says:

    So no one from the holier than thou Liberals monitors this blog? Even for info that might be advantageous to them?
    No wonder people despise senior politicians for being two faced when in office.

  19. 19
    Nick Clegg aged 13 and 3/4 says:

    Sorry Miss

    My hamster ate my howework.

  20. 20
    Tessa Tickles says:

    I doubt that Nick Clegg can actually read.

    “My chief whip has gone down to Portsmouth and spoken to Mike Hancock’s solicitor.”

    Uh-huh. That’s the most cost-effective carbon-friendly way of speaking to Hancock’s solicitor. So much better than, say, using a phone.

  21. 21
    David Ward says:

    I am holidaying in Wannsee.

  22. 22
    The Shinning says:

    Heeeeeeere’s Nicky!

  23. 23
    the poor bloody tax-payer says:

    we can rely on the post

    – its the envy of the world

  24. 24
    libdem prick says:

    clegg dishonest,no scruples just a squirming two faced cnut

  25. 25
    Mike Hancock, age 67 says:

    Sorry, Nick, xHamster ate MY homework…

  26. 26
    the poor bloody tax-payer says:

    one of the wonders of the age is the size of the twatocracy

    who pays it?

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    Cleggy,
    Hancock isn’t a particularly ill man for lib dem.

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    Desperate people take risks, good leaders take risks.

    The distinction is who receives the reward for the risk.
    A good leader is never the benefactor.

    The blind eye turned to the destruction of individuals lives, for the leaders personal gain, is the malignance of our current political cabal.

  29. 29
    politicians are bent bastards says:

    slimy bastard clegg

  30. 30
    Vince Incapable says:

    I have checked my diary. On the day Nick described, neither my wife nor myself had ever heard about the internet.

    May 5th 2011
    Asked wife, “Have you heard of something called Internet?
    Answer “No.”

  31. 31
    Back@woodsman says:

    Surely not ? Afterall, as a sleepy backwater of t’internet, populated by closet racists and nutjobs , you can’t expect those engaged in the important work of government, to have noticed the regular updates on Mr. Handycocks’ pecadilloes posted here ?

  32. 32
    Big Arnie says:

    Uzi nine millimetre

  33. 33
    the poor bloody tax-payer says:

    has hancock got a quack’s note?

    is he receiving sick pay?

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    I thought it was some torture device on his nose.

  35. 35
    septimus clogg says:

    i’m holidaying in don’twannahear

  36. 36
    Ed Balls says:

    Ja vol!

  37. 37
    Faq De Fano says:

    And Chris Huhne was waving his arms around like one of his windmills to get points, and you know children, points mean prizes!

    The Leyhill apartment hotel welcomes clean-living individuals who will never be naughty again, so that’s alright then!

    My office didn’t receive the registered letter and nobody signed for it when it arrived either!

    I haven’t an effing clue what I’m talking about, but you said I had a few minutes to explain myself, or the LibDem spin on the matter, or how to grow parsnips…

  38. 38
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Someone called Mark Pack from the LimpDums used to comment on here continuously, telling us how evil were were to suggest that dear Chris Huhne (tireless saviour of the world) had got his wife to take his speeding points. He was dipshit of Biblical proportions and I used to love ridiculing him. Sadly, the rest of them fear to tread here. The real world scares them.

  39. 39
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    The Liberal Democrats have known that I am a Pervert and sexual predator for years. The Council of Europe reported me to Ashdown and he did nothing, the Security Services told Kennedy I was Russian Spy and all he did was remove me from the shadow defence portfolio. I have not been to a Liberal Democrat conference for years as I am banned from them because of my disgusting sexual behaviour. My sexuall predatory behaviour has been the talk of Portsmouth for decades. So keep up the good work Nick – see no evil hear no evil. Boaz.

  40. 40
    portsmouth news says:

    Nobody in Portsmouth knows mike Hancock.we are an island and the postal service is very poor.nobody has ever heard of him especially the council including the cx.it’s a complete mystery.until we saw the picture on the news last night we didn’t know he was our mp.nothing to see hear so please move along there

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Why not start “THE LIST”. The list of all those that have died due to lack of action and care since the election.

    The qualification is that they were told of the issue before the death occurred, and the cause of death was avoidable.

  42. 42
    Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Great Queen Street says:

    Jahbulon Handy.

  43. 43
    Lard Everard - Giant Cockroach says:

    We Liberal Democrat cockroaches are indestructible. Look at Eastleigh…

  44. 44
    Off topic and the menu says:

    Unknown meat in take-away curry.

    Possibly camel or bison. Dog and cat not meaty enough.

  45. 45
    inside- out says:

    So high profile court case last year concerning Hancock’s Russian intern on every news outlet.Nobody at Libdem HQ inquired into one of their MP’s behavour.I find that very, very hard to believe,given how parties worry about their public profiles. Once again Clegg is having to admit “I know nothing”,prehaps the great British public will at last see through that ignorant defence.We can only hope.

  46. 46
    Katya says:

    Vladimir says there is a quick exit for you and a KGB pension waiting for you if you want out, my teddy bear. Olga and the girls in St Petersburg are all hoping you will come too.

  47. 47
    the dance the peacock. says:

    plebread
    giantsimagin.

    ple.bread
    pleb.read.

  48. 48
    The full Monty says:

    Zu befehl mein Fuehrer!

  49. 49
    Nick Clegg says:

    Ik ben een zeer speciaal soort klootzak

  50. 50
    T May says:

    Yankee Go home

  51. 51
    Vince Cable says:

    I don’t remember me.

  52. 52
    The Public says:

    So, Nick Clegg lies again.

  53. 53
    Will says:

    the liberals always have a problem in being ruthless with errant mps. Nick tell him to resign on ill health and take his pension or else this will run and run, either that or ask some of his Russian contacts to visit him !!

  54. 54
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    Yes, I heard the Hunt on LBC this morning- the first time ever. Who listens to the Hunt? Surely he needs sectioning.

  55. 55
    Shooty* says:

    We’re not IMPLYING anything, Nick, you slimy compromising policy wrecking waste of space. Anyone with half a brain is expressly stating that you’ve not acted quickly or thoroughly.

    DAvid Ward won’t use offensive language. Oh good. He’ll just think it then, and give lip service to being all equality friendly and that. Splendid.

  56. 56
    Jimmy says:

    “but ignores the rest of the report which said 1,200 died as an indirect result.”

    It says nothing of the sort you illiterate twat.

    ” I was sick to my stomach”

    Then go to the doctor, drama queen.

  57. 57
    Handycock says:

    You’re all just goona have to wait.

    As was the case with my old chum in Eastleigh there is something called innocent until proven guilty.

    So there!

    Anyone with any case issues for the timebeing please forward to Chris Huhne, C/O Leyhill Open Holiday Camp.

    He’s having free lessons in parachuting this weekend.

    That’s how cushy it is!

  58. 58

    I can see a really good sting with a twenty something blonde who happens to cross his path and thus revealing to us the extent of Handycock’s illness.

  59. 59
    Oh for gawds sake... says:

    “I’ve not spoken to Mike Hancock, he’s been very ill.”

    Wouldn’t it be more accurate to say “I’ve not spoken to Mike Hancock, he’s very sick.”

  60. 60
    JH23902392389 says:

    It says’?

    What, you mean the post? The one you made? Why not say ‘I said’?

    I think we could have a couple of people controlling the Jimmy sock puppet.

    The cvnt knows he has overstepped the mark defending Stafford, which he and the likes of Tom Watson would be having hysterics over if it happened on the blue team’s watch.

    ‘It’ doesn’t like being reminded that the B:N:P are basically disillusioned Labour voters either. Do it often.

  61. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Oh dear! Has anyone told Nick?

  62. 62
    Jimmy says:

    Try sounding out the words. It’ll come to you.

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    Hancock is not ill, he’s just sick.

  64. 64
    Joe Public on PAYE,Still Over Taxed & bled dry on everything says:

    Plus Lavish Expenses…..????

  65. 65
    Mark Pack says:

    Mike Handycock is innocent as is Chris Huhne. Boaz.

  66. 66
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    If Clegg is not informed, he states he therefore doesn’t know. So Clegg needs to be informed about everything for him to know anything. He’s going to struggle after the next election with Ed’s blank sheet of paper.

    Cleg the Vacant and Vince the Forgetful, a real force in British politics!

  67. 67
    Totally Confused & in Complete Isolation from the Universe says:

    What a ConsLieLaborLibDims Politician “Being Economical with the Truth”

    surely not……

    Next you will saying a Cabinet Minster has been jailed for perjury ………

    Ooohh Chris Huh*ne already has !!!!!!!!

    well I never received the letter, or read the newspapers, or listened to the radio

    or watched television, or this internet thingy……..

    & who is Guido whats his name…….

    I must get back to my hermit life style……

  68. 68
    Nick Clegg's speaking bathroom mirror says:

    Nick, Nick, stop it, stop lying. Now just reflect on what I’ve just said.

  69. 69
    Psssst says:

    EUS*SR Cleg*gy is in the top 20 high profile seats to be targeted by some chap

    called Nigel & his party in the next GE which will be sooner !! rather than

    later……..

    There is no way CMDDD will allow this chap called Nigel a free run until he’s

    unstoppable in May 2015……

    Watch this space…….

  70. 70
    Penfold says:

    What a dipstick, does anyone?, bar the usual moronic lumpen-proletariat, believe this absolute pile of 5H11T3

  71. 71
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    I am not sick just acting on the Grand Master’s instructions to lie low for a while. In fact it was reported on this blog a couple of weeks ago that I was at a Council of Europe meeting in Strasbourg, on expenses, shagging. Boaz.

  72. 72
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    In addition Princess molested me. She refused to kiss me or let me feel her tits and she refused tho suck my cock when I showed it to her. Boaz.

  73. 73
    PC Dixon says:

    What is it about Clegg – never knows about anything till its in the Press – its no wonder he wants the press gagged – would do well in Iran

  74. 74
    PC Dixon says:

    Well Back@woodsman – obviously YOU know so what are you a ‘closet racist’ or ‘nutjob’ ?

  75. 75
    PC Dixon says:

    To Illiterate Prat, obviously you got your name right.

  76. 76
    M102 says:

    Yeah come back Mark, its not the same without you :)

  77. 77
    liberal engineering says:

    Yay! Guido’s sights are out again.

    Handycock is fucked then…..

    Can we have some sights on Clegg too, Ignoring errant MP’s once is a mistake, twice is a taking a liberty

  78. 78
    Mad Jack the Jungle Quack says:

    Nothing wrong with the scrim shanker that an enema and painting his gums with gentian violet solution won’t put right.

  79. 79
    Mad Jack the Jungle Quack says:

    Less of the ‘closet’ please we know what we are and i for one am black and proud!

  80. 80
    damned impertinent questions says:

    Two points:

    1

  81. 81
    damned impertinent questions says:

    Two points:

    1 is Clegg seriously saying that neither he nor his staff never read Guido> If not, why the hell didn’t they ask questions? I have always assumed he was a brass monkey on Lib Dem scandal so is this proof?

    2 the old ‘there was no prosecution’ test wont wash. Prosecution tests are beyond all reasonable doubt. Party disciplines are ‘balance of probabilities’

  82. 82
    bertie wooster says:

    I’ve notified the OED to add another definition of the word “leader” when applied to the LibDems:

    “Someone who wears a badge that says “leader” but who has no leadership qualities and has no idea what goes on in his organisation”.

    To add to the comedy hour feeling of the piece, how do you “finalise an agreement” to make someone less racist? I guess he can be racist on Tuesdays…

  83. 83
    Oscar Wiener says:

    Good job they didn’t set Jack Nicholson’s film at Clegg’s place. The postman obviously never rings there at all…

  84. 84
    Curly says:

    Back in about 1950 the family doctor painted gentian violet all over the left half my face because there was a spot on my cheek (which went away on its own in the fullness of time). I felt like a right dick for about a month until it wore/washed off.

    WTF is it actually anyway?

  85. 85
    Curly says:

    I’ll chip in a tenner towards his one-way ticket.

  86. 86
    Curly says:

    One sincerely hopes that restaurant is nowhere near Stafford.

  87. 87
    Curly says:

    Possibly too old?

  88. 88
    I am NOT Nick Clegg says:

    What is a Postman ?

    Why should he ring at my door ?

    I can’t read either !

  89. 89
    The UKIP.ORG surge says:

    Don’t worry Nick

    You will soon be relieved of your Gold Plated Parlia*mentary seat

    in Shef*field Hal*lam…..

    Remember East*leigh was a 28% swing to UKIP.ORG so less than

    2% points to victory for the surge of UKIP.ORG ……….

    You will soon be relieved of your Gold Plated Perks & Exp*enses as

    your mendacious ‘Partner’ will call the General Election BEFORE May

    2015 in his last desperate bid to stop UKIP.ORG

    You will soon be relieved of your Gold Plated Pension as UKIP.ORG

    finally halts the Cons*LieLabor*LebDims gravy train for Good……

    So enjoy your Tax Payer Funded LONG Easter Break it could well be

    your LAST……..

    Nick “Do have a nice day & a good nights sleep”

    as we are always thinking of you………………

  90. 90
    VINCE CABLE says:

    I don’t remember Mike Hancock. Who is he, anyway?

  91. 91
    old grumpy says:

    The Hancock saga has been festering for more years than I care to count. There has been an online campaign, waged by disaffected Portsmouth Council Tax payers, for at least 6 years to my knowledge.

    I used to monitor them on behalf of political contacts (not LibDim).

    One development some 4-5 years ago was a series of public e-mails from this campaign group, to Clagg, complaining about Hancock and demanding action by LibDim Leadership.

  92. 92
    Just Saying says:

    He says Hancock is seriously ill and has not been in Parliament for a long time (no time span or illness diagnostic mentioned), yet Clegg is obviously losing his temper over being persistantly questioned on these “silly” affairs.
    Would hate to have Clegg as a witness for me in court. A good prosecution brief would tie him in knots. As a poker player he would lose all his money rather quickly.

  93. 93
    Need to Know says:

    Did Handycock ever work for the BBC?

  94. 94
    Handicock 1 says:

    Oh I forgot. I am too poorly to answer questions, attend Parliament, or speak to the media.

  95. 95
    Nick Clegg usual alibis department says:

    Yawn!!!

  96. 96
    Vince Cable non-memorial nursing home says:

    Is it time for my cup of tea yet nurse?

  97. 97
    Not me gov! says:

    Somebody may have said something , but I don’t recall when and I certainly don’t recall any conversations with Vinceand neither does he in fact, or anybody else about these unsubstantiated allegations.

  98. 98
    Senior parachute instuctor HMP Softnick says:

    Got yours waiting Mike!

  99. 99
    David Ward says:

    Don’t worry Vince, the Jews are on there way. They control everything you know, even tea.

  100. 100
    lojolondon says:

    What a slimeball Clogg is! – so shifty, a little excuse for everything!

    We all know that Handycock doesn’t go to work (Westminster) because he is so ill, but doesn’t Clogg care that such an ill person is able to visit Russia on a ‘jollie’ while too ill to come into the office?

    As always, you get the representative you deserve, and the good people of Portsmouth voted this cretin into the position of MP instead of making him get a proper job, they deserve him!

  101. 101
    BBC says:

    Yes, he was a Director of BBC children’s programmes (south), according to his online CV on his constituency website. This was removed and the CV rewritten when the Jimmy Saville scandal broke. Also removed at the same time was the fact that he was a Director of the NSPCC (southern region)

  102. 102
    Pedowatch says:

    Looks like more to be investigated here on this Pervert. I can confirm the BBC above that these items were removed from his CV the moment the Savile scandal broke. Looks like there is more for the media to investigate here!

  103. 103
    Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Great Queen Street says:

    As many of you know the Brotherhood has been protecting pedos for years. In fact the Police Inspector or was it Chief Inspector, a fellow Brother, who used to protect Handy in Portsmouth is now Head of the Pedo unit in Sussex. Jahbulon.


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