March 27th, 2013

UKIP Bullish Over South Shields Second Place

The maths does not look great for anyone except Labour in the rotten borough of South Shields, but then that’s what was said about Rotherham where UKIP managed to come second last year. A spokesman for the party was boisterous about their chances in the seat.

“UKIP expect the momentum that has been gathering over the past year to become apparent in South Shields, where we will be selecting a candidate who will work hard to highlight how the ordinary people of South Shields have been let down by the old three parties and Labour in particular. Those who want to send a message to both front beches know the best way to do it, and that is to vote UKIP.”

Sources in the party are hopeful of a second place: “it is well within our grasp”And the bookies agree…

UPDATE: Keep an eye on John Tennant’s  website. He works for UKIP MEP Derek Clark and fancies his chances as the candidate:


  1. 1
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Bullish rather than bolshie. shureleee?

  2. 2
    Jimmy says:

    Well there’s a decent far right vote to build on I suppose.

  3. 3
    Phil Space says:

    Farage will always be the bridesmaid.

    Fortunately he is just splitting the Tory vote.

  4. 4
    Guido Fawkes & Owen Jones says:

    We’re backing “Toilets” to win in a canter for Old Labour.

  5. 5
    UKIP are real says:

    We grasp while the other parties grope

    That is our strategic advantage

    It is action not words that count

  6. 6
    IDF says:

    Abu Qatada appeal rejected but ‘fight will carry on’

  7. 7
    Braindead in South Shields says:

    Labour foreva!

  8. 8
    Election says:

    Vote monster raving loony.

    Vote Labour.

  9. 9
    egghead says:

    Hopefully the scales will fall from the peoples eyes up there and they will back UKIP to give the liblabcon traitors the kick in the nuts that is needed to get these muppets working for the UK again and not every other scumbag in the world…

  10. 10
    Miss Jones says:

    Come on Jimmy, close the browser and get on with your maths.

  11. 11
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    The B&P are socialists, just like you Jimmy, get over it.

  12. 12
    Old Balour have resurrected Brezhnev says:

    So are we

    We have just summoned Thuggie Whelan, Teamster Dromey, Toilets and (true) Gordoom to take the fight to Omaha on Tyne

    Old Labour will win

    We will save the world

  13. 13
    Wince Cobblers says:

    I have no recollection of South Shields.

  14. 14
    Tracey from South Shields says:

    Labar is the only party that will kick out all the foreigners and leave the EU and the Human Rights. I asked them and they said so. Plus they gave me free cider.

  15. 15
    Fruitcake says:

    Please vote UKIP so we can have Ed Miliband as our prime minister and no referendum on EU membership.

  16. 16
    William Hague says:

    We are a sovereign nation.

  17. 17
    Sir Nibel Garage in a Paris restaurant says:

    What freebies can I give these Chavs?

    Free beer?

    Free Frenchies?

    Free Sky TV?

    Free white stuff?

    What do they like nowadays?

  18. 18
    I hate Hugh Grant cos he's a moron says:

    Don’t know what will happen but can say the Geordies won’t by happy with him walking away. If nothing else they expect unflinching loyalty from their MP This could backfire against Labours next choice

  19. 19
    Berlock says:

    New Labour could put up a local seagull and win the election in South Shields.The only benefit being that it would not cover you in as must shit as the greatly departure uf Miliband the lesser.

  20. 20
    Downing Steet voice says:

    Anyone for windmills today chaps?

  21. 21
    Downing Steet voice says:

    Vote UKIP and lose your remaining freedoms

    Sad but true

  22. 22
    Jimmy says:

    Why don’t we wait and see what happens to their vote when the Lemon Party puts up a candidate? I know which way I think it’s going to go.

  23. 23
    Ed Miliband's Parasite Party (for skivers, not strivers) says:

    And lots of other people’s money, Tracey. Don’t forget that. Lots of other people’s money.

    Now drínk your cíder and sleep through the afternoon, Tracey. Soon our Dear Leader, Ed Miliband, will govern Britain for the benefit of all parasites and spongers such as yourself. Rejoice, Tracey, and sleep well.

  24. 24
    Badmington Polly says:

    Are there no patriots left in Britain?

    I think I will be off to Tuscany for good

  25. 25
    A lorra lorra Balls says:

  26. 26
    Paul Nutter says:

    Free money

    Free KFC

    Free tattoo’s

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    It is the people that should count.

    It is now conclusive that we have progressed from the age of deception to the age of failure of imagination.

    We are acting dumb struck and sitting back as our world is destroyed around us. Not the planet, but human level world. Our society, our neighbourhood, our safety, our governance are disintegrating. Why because the people are now redundant. They are not an essential part of the plans. The size and stupidity of the EU is beyond the imagination of the people, and the people are too insignificant in the imagination of the EU.

    The banking system is a fictitious arrangement that has been based on deception and nihilistic behaviour. Now it is confirmed that the deception has failed and the people are just blatantly being robbed for the glorification of the leaders. There is no future imagined only survival of the system. There is no input from the people that can change the system.

    To show the difference look at the words of Kennedy. Ignore the target he chose and look how it was expressed.
    1962: “We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.”

    He spoke to the people as the essential part of the equation and effort.

  28. 28
    SamCam says:

    My Dave said that UKIP will not win in South Shields cos they are “Nasty Tories” Just wondering should he have said that?

  29. 29
    Owen Jones says:

    I’m delighted that my friend Abu Qatada won’t be deported. He’s a political prisoner of this baby eating government. We have to learn to respect Islam and our Muslim superiors, even though I’d be hanged or beheaded by them for being gay. But I’m such a retarded hypocrite who’s desperate for any reason to bash the government and Is*ael, I conveniently forget that Abu and his pals are the most homophobic, misogynist, murderous lunatics on earth.

  30. 30
    Camoron's Cast Iron Guarantee Company Ltd says:

    Referendum on an EU thingy? Oh, yes, we’ve promised a couple of those, haven’t we? Yes, vote Conservative and you will definitely probably have a referendum or something. Perhaps. Sort of. Or maybe not.

    We guarantee it!

  31. 31
    himindoors says:

    Vote Conservative and…… oh, we’ve already lost them.

  32. 32
    Resident of 96.97% white Merseyside says:

    The people of South Shields will remember all those Public Sector jobs and extra benefits New Labour created for them.

    As for immigration S.Shields has a Yemeni community but they have been there for about a hundred years.

  33. 33
    I say what like and I like what I bloody well say says:

    If it’s owt like Leigh they could put a pig in a red rosette and canter home. It worked for Andy Burnham.

  34. 34
    Welsh activist. says:

    Does it matter? This country is broken and wether it is LibCon/LibLab any other amalgamation, or even autonomous goverment, nothing but nothing is going to change that. The UK is not much more than a landfill site for the worlds rubbish now.

  35. 35
    Abu Qatada says:

    Yes, you stupid ingerlish! You will continues to pay for my benefits and free house!!

  36. 36
    egghead says:

    God knows,some jobs might help,but hey lets just carry on voting as we always have and see the country wrecked by the EU!

  37. 37
    fruitcake says:

    hey a fruitcake impersonator….love you

  38. 38
    Fuck Off Owen says:

    Sex and travel.

  39. 39
    Resident of 96.97% white Merseyside says:

    Don’t worry Owen, despite what they say I bet a fair few wouldn’t say no if you offered.

    As they say, you’ve got a great future behind you.

  40. 40
    Ponzi Mister Blair says:

    I am a bit busy boys at the moment

    But when I have stuffed another £30 million of so away in offshore accounts (My investment bank are specialists in tax avoidance)

    I will be back to organise My Scond Great Ponzi Scheme

    I will then do like our Hero Denis Healey and go begging to the IMF to save you all

  41. 41
    Steve Miliband says:

    Still at a loss as to why Miliband left South Shields for a multi-million dollar contract in New York

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    You have to go up to Blyth to see them.

  43. 43
    Resident of 96.97% white Merseyside says:

    It makes me an idiot to be a British citizen with a government that just won’t grab the bull by the horns.

    The future looks glum but I still won’t vote UKIP.

  44. 44
    Morley & Outwood says:

    Not look good and set to get worse, oh well see ya later Ed and don’t forget your parachute.

  45. 45
    WPP Mandy and lies, PR meisters says:

    Fruitcakes sounded better

    It’s all in the spin as Gweedo would say

  46. 46

    Look..its very simple. Tell him that he has no UK legal status and he will be taken from our shores and if he ever sets foot on them again he will be arrested and imprisoned for 100 years without appeal. Then take him to Brighton pier and shove him off.

  47. 47
    Sir Vichael Smear says:

    In a poll yesterday, 97% of South Shields residents said they thought Gordon Brown was doing an excellent job as prime minister.

  48. 48
    Kevin "Toilets" Maguire says:

    I was born to be either MP for South Shields or a stand up comedian.

    Paddy walks into his local surgery.

    “I need a doctor!” he shouts. “I have a terrible skin condition and want some cream for it.”

    “Dermatological?” asks the receptionist.

    “Yeah, that’s the stuff!” says Paddy excitedly.

    “No. That’s his name,” she replies. “Dr Dermot O’Logical. Would you like to book an appointment?”

  49. 49
    Resident of 96.97% white Merseyside says:

    One of your best posts yet Anon.

  50. 50
    Hank The Cat says:

    Went to South Shields once on a diving vessel, I think it was the V&A dock, it was grim I mean really grim, the crew to a local boozer where they had a strip night, came back traumatized screaming all night for the strippers to put their clothes back on

  51. 51
    Nosey Bastard says:

    But then who pray tell?

  52. 52
    Ed Balls(Chancellor Of The Exchequer Designate) says:

    Home Secretary loses Abu Qatada appeal. As she always was going to do.
    Will taxpayers now pay her costs of misconceived appeal?

  53. 53
    Berlock says:

    Mummy says are you still on that computer Owen now put that mouse down brush your teeth and go to bed ,you have school in the morning.You little leftie turd.

  54. 54
    Resident of 96.97% white Merseyside says:

    I remember a Mirror headline back in the 1960’s before an election.


    Oh. how times they are a changing.

  55. 55
    One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave, says:

    It’s my God-given right to bug your phones, monitor your emails and censor your press, what what!! This is my country, I own it. And I’ll bally-well cover it in concrete and immigrants if I want to, what what.

    And don’t you jolly well complain when I spend £11billion of your money every year on foreign, either, you little oiks. I jolly well know how to spend your money better than you do.

    Now get back to work, you horrid wretched oiks, I want more tax revenue to give to those super people in Brussels, what what what.

    Pip pip!

  56. 56
    Anything with a red rosette says:

    Yeah, fairly unenriched by all accounts it’ll be a Labour seat for ever and a day.

  57. 57

    So he’s going to be paid a fat cat salary, but he works for a charity.

    Better email Ed and ask him to check his predator/producer list to see where this sits.

  58. 58
    Paywalls mean death for newspapers says:

    Sun behind a paywall?

    Your fees must be killing the paper Guido

    I think Murdoch is trying to ruin all his newspapers in Britain

    So that he can abandon them all

    The Times is already a dead tree walking

    The Sun’s staff is seriously depleted (to be polite for once)

    I think you will all by yourself in a huge office in Wapping

    We will come and see you though…

  59. 59
    Resident of 96.97% white Merseyside says:

    The seafront is quite pleasant but King Street isn’t the same since Binns closed down.

  60. 60
    Guido Fawkes & Owen Jones Coalition says:

    Those South Shields candidates in full? Kevin Maguire Lab, Andrew Pierce Con, oflynnexpress UKIP and DavidWooding LD.

  61. 61
    Bob says:

    Can’t see UKIP doing anything up there, protest votes tend to go to the B&P.

  62. 62
    Resident of 96.97% white Merseyside says:

    I thought it was Umbria.

  63. 63
    So what? says:

    Since when did Ed Ballsup give a rat’s flying fuck about the taxpayer?

  64. 64
    Ah-ha! says:

    That explains why Labour shut the B&P down.

  65. 65
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    Chance of ECB Rate Cut Next Week Has Increased on Cyprus: Citi. Just what Europe needs: negative deposit rates.

  66. 66
    Sky TV scrapes the barrel says:

    Hello Toilets

    Whenever I see your standup comedy act on Sky

    with the appalliing Ponce Pierce

    The true horror of the scene fascinates me

    I cannot believe TV has been dumbed down this far

  67. 67
    Resident of 96.97% white Merseyside says:

    In any case Nige reminds me of Stan Laurel when he looks glum.

  68. 68
    Bob says:

    Ukippers aren’t falling for it anymore Mr Fruitcake, no one trusts Dave.

  69. 69
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    “””rotten borough of South Shields”””

    errrr is that the official Conservative view of the people of the North West

    and you still don’t believe yourselves to be nasty party….LOL

  70. 70
    Abu Cocktada says:

    I’ll tell you what should be done to Qatada. Just look up the premise for the film The Human Centipede.

  71. 71
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    whoops North East. But makes no difference coz that is also your view of the people of the NW too

  72. 72
    Soho club owner says:

    I will hire them all for my gay cabaret

    They are just as decadent as my clients

  73. 73
    Tony Blair says:

    Yes yes, I know you all want to thank me for my 10 years that brought you the likes of Abu Qatada and 7/7. Don’t you feel enriched?

  74. 74
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    September, 1914 Bethmann Hollweg

    “We must create a central European economic association through common customs treaties, to include France, Belgium, Holland, Denmark, Austria-Hungary, Poland “sic”, and perhaps Italy, Sweden and Norway. This association will not have any common constitutional supreme authority and all its members will be normally equal, but in practice will be under German leadership and must stabilise Germany’s economic dominance over Mitteleuropa”

    Funny how history repeats itself, anyhow Liebour win. Stick a rosette on a piece of **** etc

  75. 75
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Do the maths. Enough second-place finishes in enough by-elections, and by 2015, UKIP will be heading into the election defending exactly– how many is that, again?– NIL seats.

    Gotta win one every now and then, Nigel. Otherwise, people will think, “What kinda shithouse operation are they running, anyway, having candidates standing in hopeless constituencies just to prove some kind of point that they can steal the potential Tory vote, such as it is, in such hellholes? Isn’t the money better spent some other way?” So decide, Nigel: Do you want to succeed, or do you want to suck seed?

  76. 76
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:


    75000 of the bugg*ers could be on our door steps within weeks.

  77. 77
    Heir to Blair says:

    Dave’s full of shit, the kippers will force him in to a coalition next time round.
    He’ll have no other choice the way he’s going.

  78. 78
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    Tories and Lib Dums to BOTH lose deposits !!!!!!!

  79. 79
    Bogeyman says:

    I note that Guardianistas are having a collective aneurysm at the prospect of food vouchers being given to “vulnerable people” (i.e. those suddenly finding themselves on welfare) instead of cash loans. Could someone enlighten me?

    The same vulnerable people derive great pleasure from collecting Tesco vouchers (often before spending them on crap like “fragrancing systems”), also holding me up at the till while they fiddle with their wretched coupons.

    Yet when the government offers to do the same, the Lefties go doolally. “Despicable”, “stigmatisation”, “boot in the face of the poor”, “back to the workhouse”…

    There are billions around the world who would kill for free food vouchers. Or have I missed something?

  80. 80
    Cameron's father-in-law milks the wind farm scam says:

    The Tories can still rely on all the middle class faux-socialist europhile ecotard votes though, they’re the ones Dave’s really after.

  81. 81
    Reaction to news that Abu Qatada will be allowed to stay says:

    Whether it’s good news or bad news, they react the same.

  82. 82
    Bogeyman says:

    As long as they don’t sack the headline-writers. Stuff like “Elton takes David up the aisle” is worth a year’s subscription.

  83. 83
    Really ???? says:

    Still alive and kicking the last time I looked.

    Yep still there.

  84. 84
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    Oh dear

    Another pair of “mates of The Sun” locked up today.


  85. 85
    Grant Papps says:

    Or course it is

    Do you think any self-respecting party would grovel to illiterate hereditary chavs?
    Sometimes you just have to writeoff some places

    Like tribal Jockieland of late and blessed Gordoom memory

    Anyone who could elect Maximum Imbecile (or Rendition Banana Millie)repeatedly needs to be sectioned immediately

    We stand for a minimum of civilisation you see

  86. 86
    P l e b says:

    Cameron is but a shadow of Kennedy

  87. 87
    JH39024902384 says:

    That black wedge should really be next to the red one, it is after all Labour’s ex voters.

  88. 88
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    Not sure I agree Hugh, just down the coast the voters in Hartlepool kept Mrs Mangle in for years, and “Sir” Stuart Bell didn’t even hold surgeries in Middlesboro’ because he knew he would get a majority no matter what.

    The Tories brought Nissan to Sunderland in 1986, Komatsu to Birtley in 1987, both an easy commute from Sheilds.

    Maybe that’s the problem, the la’al wasters won’t vote for anyone who brings them work.

  89. 89

    Labour party shortlist for South Shields.

    John O’Farrell
    Ed Byrne
    Mark Steel
    Eddie Izzard
    Jeremy Hardy
    Marcus Brigstoke
    Chris Addison

    Ben Elton

    Actually, any of them would be an improvement

  90. 90
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    I see SamC*unt is in Syria today

  91. 91
    Mrs May says:

    Putting Abu Qatada on eBay. Buyer collects.

  92. 92
    Cockdale says:

    A very strange peoples indeed.

  93. 93
    Russian oligarch (you know the rest) says:

    Vladimir Laundrovich ….HELP

    Not only have the Europeans sized my illegal funds

    But they want to charge me for what is left

    I will sell my daughter to you for some help

    Where is the Soviet Navy when we need it?

  94. 94
    Gonk III says:

    A captivating read. But a really sad observation is that I cannot imagine anyone in top flight politics, from any party, being able to construct such
    a composition.

  95. 95
    Panty Man says:

    Didn’t Eddie Izzard say he’d give it 5 years before jumping in to politics?

  96. 96
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    Tory short List

    Jim Davidson
    Freddie Starr
    Bill Roache
    Michael Le Vell

  97. 97
    D Milibland says:

    You ask me how I would like to be remembered. Well, think of the famous photograph of me holding a banana and grinning like a chimp. I feel that adequately sums up my contribution to UK politics.

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    A Message for all South Shields voters

    Come all the electorate throughout the UK
    It’s time to ignore what the LIBLABCON say
    Lets face it these parties have all had their day
    Our politics need rearranging
    So go out and vote UKIP lets sweep them away
    For the times they are a changing

    Not one of them listens to our point of view
    They’d sooner give our cash to the EU
    So lets kick them out and try something new
    We can’t afford this lot remaining
    Political rethink is long overdue
    For the times they are a changing

    They lied about Lisbon and promised a vote
    There all Europhiles and in the same boat
    Their treachery just bring a lump to my throat
    As each other they just keep blaming
    So send them a message and let them take note
    That the times they are a changing

    We will no longer tolerate lies being told
    Tax breaks for the rich but more tax for the old
    Ruled from the EU and our birthrights sold
    They ignore us when we are complaining
    If we all vote UKIP their out in the cold
    For the times they all need changing

  99. 99
    Jimmy says:

    You righties do love your urban myths.

  100. 100
    NorthEasterner says:

    you may care to look up South Shields on google maps.. its about as far EAST as you can go without getting your feet wet!

  101. 101
    Gonk III says:

    The ever elegant, ‘Long walk off a short pier’

  102. 102
  103. 103
    Paywall for Guido says:

    Guido or Neo could just about do the gripping headlines methinks

    After all they do it for GQ and other glossy rags already

    But someone would have to get up in the middle of the night to get presses rolling

    Heavy task indeed…

  104. 104
    Graham says:

    Absolutely correct. This country is irrecovably fucked.

  105. 105
    P l e b says:

    The Tories should put Boris forward as candidate.

  106. 106
    Vicar of Bray says:

    UKIP also took votes from the voters who usually voted Labour and Limp-Dem!

    People are waking up, at last.

  107. 107
    The Old Fella says:

    Do they wear black shirts as well, or do they prefer brown

  108. 108
    Maqboul says:

    John Tennant? Well at least he’s a geordie, but I worry what will happen to the Pet Shop Boys if he wins.

  109. 109
    champagne socialist says:

    A safe Liebour seat Jimmy so I’m sure they’ll parachute some Oxbridge type in there.

  110. 110
    SP4BS says:

    Which was probably the last time there was something going for the place.

  111. 111
    Wapping NUJ Chapel says:

    The real question then is:

    Are the headline writers hackers as well?

    We need to know to organise Guido’s diary…

    Or perhaps he can find an unpaid intern to do the night shift

  112. 112
    champagne socialist says:

    Yes like WMD in Iraq.

  113. 113
    Maqboul says:

    These southern socialist softies could barely find Watford let alone South Shields.

  114. 114
    Nosey Bastard says:

    You’re on to something there.

  115. 115
    Owen Jones says:

    A skinhead, across the bar, has been staring at me all night. I think I’ve pulled.

    As soon as I’ve finished eating my bogeys I’ll go and offer him a drink.

  116. 116
    Maqboul says:

    UKIP must be worrying both sides now, if Labour deem them worthy of smearing.

  117. 117
    P l e b says:

    Fact finding mission for when we open our refugee camps next year

  118. 118
    Toilets for ever says:

    I dip my dick in the North Sea beforee I spout on Sky News

    It pricks me up…

  119. 119
    Mobiddly O'bees says:

    Stan was born in North Shields.

  120. 120
    middle class faux-socialist europhile ecotard says:

    UKIP for me

  121. 121
    Will says:

    dear bogeyman, what they are worried about is that people are not allowed to have fags booze. if people have to spent it on food that’s terrible.

    I think finally that people are staring to ask why are we spending so much money on welfare, when 1 million poles can come over here and get a job !!

    the problem is that the people affected by immigration are the individuals at the bottom of the pile, who are undercut by individuals who are willing to undercut them.

    Don’t worry they will always blame Maggie, despite when the tories came to power in 1979 our country was industrially in a right state.

  122. 122
    Berlock says:

    To all political parties that hope to challenge New Labour in South Shields save your money,the postal votes have already been counted .

  123. 123
    martycaine says:

    Well as an Ex Labour supporter who has none gone to UKIP, your far right idea could not be further from the truth, there are a lot of ex Labour in UKIP because they have realised that the New Labour of today is more like the Conservative party of yesteryear and that is a plain simple fact.

  124. 124
    Huge Grant says:

    That poor Mr Brigstock has been the subject to vile stories in the Daily Fail about his private life. I mean it’s up to him if he wants to have a year long affair with a co-star whilst leaving his wife and young family at home.

  125. 125
    Pato says:

    Why anyone would vote labour again is beyond me , FALSE wars that resulted in thousands of Iraqi and British lives, open door immigration which has destroyed this country ,i want a government that is proud of our history,culture and heritage . Ukip for me and im sure many more will vote the same way may 2nd.

  126. 126
    Charles Darwin says:

    The natural progression of things.

    Ex Conservative voters —move to—> UKIP
    Ex Labour voters ———move to—-> B&P

  127. 127
    LibLabCon spinner says:

    They are called food stamps

    It sounds better

    Have been around the US for a century

    Means he Chavs never have to work to be able to eat

    Big business

  128. 128
    Jimmy says:

    It’s the beeyenpee with a tie on. You’re really not kidding anyone you know.

  129. 129
    Will says:

    south shields might be a labour stronghold or a rotten borough depending how you look at it. I think UKIP should stand, thye will not win but I think it would show Ed milliband how much the electorate hate him whilst not having the stomach to admit that they voted tory

  130. 130
    Grauniad says:

    Our idea to tax everyone with a broadband connection was the right one.

    PS – Liberate the Malvinas’

  131. 131
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    It appears Jimmy is in need of his daily dose of reality.

    There you go.

  132. 132
    Rumpledforeskin says:

    Keep taking the mandys Bob

  133. 133
    The Old Fella says:

    Let’s face it the standard of speech writers in this country is set very low

  134. 134
    Bloody Nose says:

    Mmm yes I can see the LibLabCon haters of which they are many now all jumping on the UKIP bandwagon.

  135. 135
    Thats all folks says:

    Kennedy was the American Eagle Cameron is a gentle floating feather

  136. 136
    Highly paid sociologist says:

    I would suggest hat if 1 million poles can find jobs, there is no reason whey “those at the bottom of the ladder” cannot..

    But perhaps they simply do not want to make the effort to get off their “bottoms”

    Res ipsa loquitor

  137. 137
    Realist says:

    They would vote for a dog turd if it had a red rosette attached to it. Just the same as in Stoke-on-Trent.

  138. 138
    Anonymous says:

    Bullish?? Is that a reference to bullshit?

  139. 139
    Ex Germania semper eadem says:

    1818 Zollverein – Customs Union between the self-governing states of Germany that ended in a single Prussian-dominated country.

  140. 140
    Rumpledforeskin says:

    Don’t be silly

  141. 141
    Truth said says:

    The Conservative Party is Had it, Cameron has done what he set out to do and finish it, typical Socialist. UKIP is the only way forward and all true Conservatives should move over to them as soon they may be out of a job.

  142. 142
    Bloody Nose says:

    May be may be.

  143. 143
    Mark Oaten says:

    You know how to turn me on.

  144. 144
    The Old Fella says:

    Are you queen 8illy

  145. 145
    Cheap cheap 5 dorra hooker says:

    Do you feel divine?

  146. 146
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    …and for the record Neo Nut F*ck Wits

    Abu Qatada arrrived with welcoming open arms to the UK in 1993

  147. 147
    Con Artists says:

    Then your part of what’s wrong with this country

  148. 148
    champagne socialist says:

    fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap…….

  149. 149
    Ed Miliband says:

    Dr. Beeching went too far and too fast.

  150. 150
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    Kev, as you know this still goes down well south of the big river.

  151. 151
    Why not? says:

    Forget deportation. Put him in a taxi and deliver him to the Jordanian Embassy.

  152. 152
    Paniagua Solo says:

    Which one won the ‘simultaneously rubbing tummy while patting head’ competition then ?

  153. 153
    Charles Darwin says:

    In other words, there are “hereditary “bottoms”

    Represented by false hereditary bottoms”

    iei. Champagne socialists like Millie Banana, Mand,y Blair, and all the rest

  154. 154
    Popeye says:

    Don’t they hang spying monkeys up there?

  155. 155
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    errrrrrrrr Abu Qatada arrived in UK in errrrrrrr 1993.

  156. 156
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Who on earth is defending Abi Qatada, and why?

  157. 157
    LibDem short list says:

  158. 158
    Labour Danger says:

    As a Labour supporter, you’re not supposed to be sexist and make remarks like that. Or is it ok to call a woman a c-unt when she’s not a Labour member?

  159. 159
    Rumpledforeskin says:

    I still have absolutely no idea who this Owen Jones is whose name keeps appearing here.

  160. 160
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Abu not Abi.

  161. 161
    Willy Vague says:

    Have him powdered and perfumed and sent to my chambers

  162. 162
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    Hank, this is what you should have seen.

  163. 163
    All together now says:

    The people’s flag is deepest red,

    It shrouded oft our martyred dead,

    {Tune – O Tannenbaum}

  164. 164
    Ed's Chief of Staff in a cloud of white stuff says:

    Quite right Empty Ed

    We need an indepth enquiry again

  165. 165
    Owen Jones says:

    Doesnt he look lush?

    I would drink a pint of Tennants *slurp*

  166. 166
    Fuck off Owen says:

    Sex and travel.

  167. 167
    Joe says:

    True but Labour types wont have any of it, more fool them I say.

  168. 168
    Tim O'Glock says:

    That’s shite

  169. 169
    Theresa's aide de camp says:

    Have we got a date for that Theresa?

  170. 170
    Robin Williams says:

    They killed Saddam’s sons Uday and Qusay. They still don’t know what happened to his other son, Ebay.

  171. 171
    Owen Jones says:

    Would you be saying this if he was an ex-pat trying to get back from Cyprus

    You really are a f’ing shit aren’t you

  172. 172
    Anonymous says:

  173. 173
    Theresa's aide de camp says:

    Sorry, Theresa. Just realised how fucking stupid that question was!

  174. 174
    Comedy 101 says:

    The joke only works if it’s the same name. PSB’s singer is Neil Tennant.

    In contrast, there’s a Labour speechwriter called Phil Collins. That works for a joke.

  175. 175
    Charles Darwin Junior says:

    and Ex LibDem voters move to —> House of Ermine Vermin (without passing go and going to jail) to do some free groping…

  176. 176
    Joe says:

    NAZI is that the ‘National SOCIALIST German Workers’ Party’ by any chance?

  177. 177
    Maqboul says:

    The bookies see it and they would be a lot sharper about these things than you.

  178. 178
    BBC says:

    Awfully sorry but at our debate before the election we only have space for the conservative party, labour party, liberal democrat party and green party.

  179. 179
    Anonymous says:

    Excellent analysis.

  180. 180
    The Old Fella says:

    I wonder if there is anything running about in that muff around Abu Qatada’s mouth

  181. 181
    Paniagua Solo says:

    Agreed, they must be worried when they pay Jimmy £2.65 an hour to troll on here.

  182. 182
    Anonymous says:

  183. 183
    Just tell it like it is; spell it out; no holds barred; say what you think says:

    Why yhe fick do you think that any of us are going to remember you. You have more chance of Vince Cable recollecting you than the rest even bothering to try.

  184. 184
    Who stole my vote? says:

    Labour activists are preparing their postal votes in advance, just to help the poor people of South Shields who cannot read or write or walk to the polling booth, the voter does not even need to see the form, its all done for them. This is how socialists take care of the ‘working’ classes, the new modern easy way to vote labour without even putting down your stella or taking your eyes off the 60′ HD LED set to Sky sports.

  185. 185
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    Richard Trunkfield and Alan Tierney

    I’m sure I’ve seen this pair knocking around bars and pubs frequented by Guido and Mongo Mo*ley

  186. 186
    Maqboul says:

    Very similar policies, they only real difference was that the Na­zis hated the Je­ws but even that differentiator has gone now with the Left’s obsessive hatred of Isra­el.

  187. 187
    Tony Blair says:

    I charge much more than a sovereign

  188. 188
    Dave the Rave never had a plot says:

    Good stuff Nige

    Exactly what I think

    PS Nice to see tour restaurant allowance has doubled to 200000 euros

  189. 189
    WVM says:

    They’ll run out of other peoples money eventually.

  190. 190
    Maqboul says:

    The only job he can get since he was sacked from his last for being an overpissed up hack.

  191. 191
    Paniagua Solo says:

    Labour – Tories in a boiler suit

    Tories – Labour in a suit

    LibDem – Wish I knew

  192. 192
    PC Dave says:

    I am an impotent cnut who can’t get this mozzie ejected from the U.K.

  193. 193
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:


    Its the Tories who let them in, let them stay, then cant get rid of em.

  194. 194
    Dave's minder says:

    Now go and get your horse Dave

    Rebekah is waiting for you…

  195. 195
    JH39024902384 says:

    Surely it’s not too much to ask for an Apache pilot to accidentally hit his car with a Brimstone missile. ‘Sorry I thought I was in Afghanistan’ could be the excuse.

    It would all blow over after a while.

  196. 196
    Larry says:

    Dave will be out of Downing Street before than

  197. 197
    Maqboul says:

    You must have creamed your Y-fronts.

  198. 198
    The BBC song says:

    The people’s flag is deepest red,
    It shrouded oft our martyred dead,
    And ere their limbs grew stiff and cold,
    Their hearts’ blood dyed its every fold.
    Then raise the scarlet standard high.

    Within its shade we live and die,
    Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
    We’ll keep the red flag flying here.

    Look round, the Frenchman loves its blaze,
    The sturdy German chants its praise,
    In Moscow’s vaults its hymns were sung
    Chicago swells the surging throng.


    It waved above our infant might,
    When all ahead seemed dark as night;
    It witnessed many a deed and vow,
    We must not change its colour now.


    It well recalls the triumphs past,
    It gives the hope of peace at last;
    The banner bright, the symbol plain,
    Of human right and human gain.


    It suits today the weak and base,
    Whose minds are fixed on pelf and place
    o cringe before the rich man’s frown,
    And haul the sacred emblem down.


    With head uncovered swear we all
    o bear it onward till we fall;
    Come dungeons dark or gallows grim,
    This song shall be our parting hymn.

  199. 199
    David Miliband says:

    Rather like that dagger you stuck in my back.

  200. 200
    Maqboul says:

    They already have; they’re playing debt passy-the-parcel now.

  201. 201
    Who stole my vote? says:

    It used to be that rich people with time on their hands gave up their time freely to work for charities, now it is a career choice and a lavishly paid one at that. If you are stupid enough to give to the big corporate charity fraud you are too stupid to breathe.

  202. 202
    Anonymous says:

    He looks better in the dark as well!

  203. 203
    Anonymous says:

  204. 204
    Abu haha Qatada says:

    Mrs Q usually has a good word for me, and if she doesn’t she goes in the cellar for a few days.

  205. 205
    Liam Byrne, there is no money left says:

    Quite right

    Worse than the bloody roms

    And they paid tax in the old daysbefore we turned tax avoidance into industry

  206. 206
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Cameron would rather cross the floor of the house than work with UKIP.

    The one good thing if he is still leader of the Fauxservatives, he will probably take his fellow Fabians with him into some sort of LabLibFauxcon alliance of shit.

  207. 207
    LIBLABCONNERS have ruined the U.K. says:

    Yep. The LIBLABCONNERS were in charge. Letting all the fucking mozzies and other immigrant parasites in. Just as they still are, without a clue how many courtesy of the UKBA.

  208. 208
    The other BBC song says:

    An unbreakable union of free republics,
    The Great Rus’ has welded forever to stand!
    Long live the creation of the will of the people,
    The united, mighty Soviet Union!

    Be glorious, our free motherland! A reliable stronghold of peoples’ friendship! The Party of Lenin, the strength of the people, Leads us to the triumph of Communism!

    Through tempests the sun of freedom shone to us,
    And the great Lenin illuminated our path,
    To a just cause he raised up the peoples,
    To labour and exploits he inspired us!


    In the victory of the immortal ideas of Communism
    We see the future of our country,
    And to the Red Banner of our glorious Motherland
    We shall always be selflessly true!


  209. 209
    Maqboul says:

    So you hate dark skinned immigrants Moussa?

  210. 210
    There's more than scunt in Scunthorpe says:

    That’s bloody Hartlepool you bloddy southern nonce.

  211. 211
    The Old Fella says:

    But what constitutes a Charity Bill, Eaton College is a charity so are a lot of very strange and wonderful institutions that call themselves charities, pushing the law as far as possible, a charity should not be a vehicle to avoid paying tax.

  212. 212
    Paniagua Solo says:

    Or someone else’s more like

  213. 213
    London says:

    No problem. Deport all the Turkish Cypriots. There will then be plenty of room

  214. 214

    Agreed, amended.

  215. 215
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Not for long, they’ll be everywhere soon. As sure as your electricity bills will double by 2020.

  216. 216
  217. 217
    Lord Madoff Mandelson says:

    Thank you for the publicity Guido

    You are a true friend

    My new New Labour policy is to include Britain in the Rouble Zone

    I wrecked Britain once but I heave learned from my mistakes

    THis new experiment will include British passports for any pillaging oligarch (most of them are my friends)

    Free access to all those bent London lawyers

    Free money laundering with the biggest UK banks (now that Cyprus is gone pear shaped)

    And freedom from prosecution for any crimes committeed in Russia, of course

    The same will apply for Asian dictators (especially Tony’s) friends

    And, of cours, we will give food stamps to the Chavs, plus a bit of free beer I think

    You approve I assume?

  218. 218
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    When you look back over the years it’s disgusting what they’ve done and the lies they’ve told.

  219. 219
    It just gets better and better! says:

    It just gets better and better!

    The EU has proposed a budget increase of £9.5 billion this year – more than the controversial Cyprus bail-out

    That would cost British taxpayers £1.2 billion and leave David Cameron no option to veto.

  220. 220
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr that makes no sense

    I’d hardly hate myself..would I.

  221. 221
    Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

    Sorry, but Guardianistas will never vote Tory. They see the word “Conservative” on the tin, and they run a mile, without checking whether it does what it says on the tin. The fact that the Cameroon “Tories” are metro “liberals”/social “democrats”/cultural marxists doesn’t come into it.

  222. 222
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    …I am now

    06:00am Knock Knock Knock

    “Mr Pa*l Sta*ines we have reason to believe….etc etc”

  223. 223
    Hypocritecunt says:

    I read he’s away in Austria skiing. I thought he was against flying on account of the damage to the environment etc.

  224. 224
    Anonymous says:

  225. 225
    Lord Stansted says:

    You make the major assumption that South Shields voters can read.

  226. 226
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Sound like he’s speaking Norwegian to me.

  227. 227
    Labour supporter says:

    As a Labour supporter I reluctantly, very reluctantly, find Mrs C hot stuff.

  228. 228
    Snake Oil Dave says:


  229. 229
    UK taxpayer says:

    Who signed the Lisbon Treaty then?

    Hang the Labour traitors

    Is this why Blair and Mandy are running scared offshore?

    Is that why Banana Milliband has fled to America?

    Does he now have immunity from prosecution there?

    He would if he goes to I s r a e l…

  230. 230
    The Old Fella says:

    “The Times is already a dead tree walking” it has been a dead tree for a very long time, why do you think captain Bob got rid, it is supposed to be an upmarket newspaper that’s the only reason Maxwell and Murdoch bought it. The Sun was the only the old daily Herald and Murdoch turned it around then he bought a paper a bit later run by an Indian guy after originally backing him in his battle with SOGAT, I think it was called Today.

  231. 231
    Anonymous says:

    Gordon Brown and David Miliband signed it,behind closed doors.

  232. 232
    Paniagua Solo says:

    Oh he’s Lee Jasper

    I should have realised before, there aren’t two c.unts that stupid in the world

  233. 233
    The Old Fella says:

    I thought UKip was the B&P?

  234. 234
    Con Man Blair says:

    Ebay was killed by mistake in Libya or Dubya if I remember

    But I still collect the dividends

  235. 235
    Vince Cable says:

    Nor me!

  236. 236
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    And what of the ten years labour couldn’t rid us of Qatada?

  237. 237
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Ha ha ha ha, the Euroloons have no idea what they are doing.

  238. 238
    The Old Fella says:

    Well it would be a laugh, Boris wouldn’t dare go there, he would be frightened that he would catch something

  239. 239
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Oddly the government gives £1 billion a month of taxpayers money to charities.

    That equates to around £50 taken per month, from an average taxpayer and forcibly re-distibuted by government, to people they want to give your tax money to.

  240. 240
    Truth without varnish says:

    Not every conservative buys into the kippers’ shrill jingoism or thinks that Miliband isn’t any worse than Cameron. Ukip will never attract enough votes to be a contender for no 10.

  241. 241
    A connaisseur says:

    Allthese papers are walking dead

    Like Captain Bob Bob Bobbing and soon to be Citizen Murdoch and the Mock Tudor Beams Barclays bros Graunid KGB Independent etc

    I only want to save Bryony Gordon

    and ask her to write a weekly column here

    If she agrees to expose her beautiful bosom elegantly for us once in a while

    That is not too much to ask for the fame we can give here here

  242. 242
    JH39024902384 says:

    Not at all Jimmy, all the footage I have seen of B:N:P shindigs – or at least the ones they are ‘allowed’ to have by the brownshirt-like U:A:F – are evocative of a working man’s club crowd.

    I doubt if any of them ever voted for those posh Tory poofters; ex Labour, all the way. Ignore reality if you like, but it sure as well won’t ignore you.

  243. 243
    Anonymous says:

    Ulverston Cumbria.

  244. 244
    Earl of Croydon says:

    For some reason he doesnt strike me as a bloke who can swim.
    I dare say that may well have formed part of you point…to which I would also hope he would drown.

  245. 245
    Village Idiot says:

    Would that be “Mandrax”, oooowee…….

  246. 246
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    Probably in a cat suit (with a bowl of oranges on the sideboard).

  247. 247
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    So why are you poncing around in Africa with an actress? Do you nothing more urgent on your desk?

  248. 248
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    * have

  249. 249
    Anonymous says:

    Tha Eton Voting Song

    Jolly voting weather
    We are all europhiles
    We’re very clever
    And lie to you all the while
    You fell for our promise especially the CAST IRON trick
    We’re all from Eton, and you lot are all too thick.

    If you think I’ll claim back powers,
    You haven’t got a clue
    We’ll hand the UK to Merkle,
    There is nothing that you can do
    No referendums Changes through on the nod
    I am the PM and I’m a duplicitous sod

    As for immigration
    I know it gets on your tits
    I will flood the nation
    And pay their benefits
    I am from Eton; I am one of the ruling class
    If you don’t like it, you can just kiss my ****

  250. 250
    JH39024902384 says:

    …and the B:N:P are just those Labour voters who got fed up with being told that they are to embrace diversity with a rictus grin.

    That is all they are Jimmy. Same socialist big-government re-distributionist policies, with the bits about enforced rejoicing at their own destruction taken out. Don’t sneer at them; they are your creation.

    Typical leftist. You get everything you want and then you shriek with horror at the inevitable – and entirely predictable – results.

  251. 251
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    Well, it certainly ain’t Cumbria that’s for sure!!

  252. 252
    Not impressed says:

    BuUt the one thing you can guarantee is that Miliband won’t offer a referendum. The way I see it, this “we don’t believe Cameron will actually make good on his promise” stuff is actully just cover for “we don’t want a referendum because we’re worried we’ll lose”.

  253. 253
    Last Madhouse on the left says:

    Rule Britannia the EU has our balls
    Get us out before Merkel’s bandits call

    There was a young Commie called Dave
    who thought his career he could save,
    He gave up his seat, voted with his feet
    And from New York you can see the twat wave.

    The people of South Shields do moan
    discontent and apathy shown
    cause again they have lost
    One more red at a cost
    Lets hope they can get one on loan.

  254. 254
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    But he had enough sense to bugger off to America on the first ship going that way.

  255. 255
    David Cameron says:

    Referenda are O.K. for Scotland but not for England.

  256. 256
    Nigel Marmalade says:

    Don’t worry, Ed. UKIP will split the anti-Labour vote so you’ll be fine.

  257. 257
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    Well they do keep telling us they know how to spend our money better than we do.

  258. 258
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    Sky is getting progressively worse daily – and moving surely but steadily leftwards.

  259. 259
    Anonymous says:

    The Big Immigration Speech

    Dave, your immigration speech
    Will promise things out of reach
    We’ve not forgot the CAST IRON VOW
    And nobody believes you now
    Everything you say’s untrue
    The law is made in the EU

    The Tory troops you try to muster
    All realise the speech is bluster
    Your hope to shoot the UKIP Fox
    Won’t surface in the ballot box
    Now UKIP’s got you on the ropes
    And blown away all Tory hopes

    We’re all fed up pissed off and grumpy
    Sick to death of Ange and Rumpy
    We do not want your EU flag
    To us it’s just a piece of rag
    We want our sovereignty back
    Our culture, laws and Union Jack

  260. 260
    Anonymous says:

    frighteningly accurate.

  261. 261
    UKIP's big breakthrough is always at the next election says:

    Even the Green Party managed to get an MP elected.

  262. 262
    Matilda says:

    Can you post Alan Price’s Jarrow song? Used to have it on a tape years ago but lent it to a mate and never got it back. Ta everso.

  263. 263
    Not impressed says:

    No, it was jumping into Ed Miliband.

  264. 264
    Matilda says:

    That was because all the voters in Brighton were off their heads on grass…

  265. 265
    Matilda says:

    Good. Lots of graffiti needs a good scrubbing. Double vouchers if they do 15 walls a day!!

  266. 266
    Matilda says:

    Huge, as you are unlikely to ever again be asked to make a film, why don’t you stand? At least we’ll get a few laughs at PMQs! And you can monitor your pathetic charter from the inside.

  267. 267
    Matilda says:

    .. and then only let him out under armed escort to a Jordanian air force jet waiting at a nearby RAF base.

  268. 268
    A Human Writes and having writ wretires. says:

    … accompanied by his entire family too.

    Then Theresa can say that he was not deported, he merely went on holiday with his pals.

  269. 269
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    … and another named Phil Yerboots. Not sure what his role is though.

  270. 270
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    Just WTF do they spend it all on? Luncheon vouchers for the Congolese? Dave should just tell them the cupboard is bare – especially if he wants another go in No 10.

  271. 271
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    There are not many Asian dictators around. Did you perhaps mean south American where they are ten a penny. Geography not your strong suit?

  272. 272
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    .. and without authority as they had already been voted out of office and therefore had no mandate from the people. The Foreign Office should just tell the EU to tear that page out of the book as its contents are void. Then we can start to do things our own way again.

  273. 273
    neitherdeadoralive says:

    This is South Shields we are talking about !!!!! Labour could put up one of Ken Livingstones toe nail clippings as a candidate, and it would get a huge majority !!! These people are so retarded they put a cross for their signature, not just as a vote !!!

  274. 274
    Hang The Bostards says:

    Have you ever heard of the word “MOMENTUM” ???

  275. 275
    Jimmy says:

    So your (let’s call it) argument is that because they look like working class types they can’t have been tory voters.

    Would you like another crack at that?

  276. 276
    Jimmy says:

    ps In the headline you misspelt “Bullshit”.

  277. 277
    Frank's son says:

    Just what is good about coming second in a FPTP contest? If they ain’t aiming to win why on Earth enter? Same goes for all the other parties.

  278. 278
    JH39024902384 says:

    No, I wouldn’t.

    I’ve made far fewer presumptions about the voting patterns of particular socioeconomic groups than the average Labour apparatchik would rattle off the second it suited them.

    Your emotionalised refusal to face up to the fact that the majority of B:N:P voters are cast offs from your darling Labour is very telling, little man. You are so invested in the ‘Anything nasty=Right wing’ meme that you claim to not see it. Not blindness, but a refusal to see.

    Again, that miserable party and the miserable people in it are your creation. Be proud now.

  279. 279
    Jimmy says:

    The assumptions are yours. Polling evidence is pretty clear about where support for the far right comes from. B&P voters where they have no candidate vote for UKIP if they stand, tories if they don’t. Racists generally don’t vote Labour. Think about his for a moment. Why would they?

    Incidentally UKIP supporters are overwhelmingly C2 or below and uneducated. I assure you this is evidence based rather than mere abuse (although it’s fun to repeat).

  280. 280
    John O' Farrell says:


    I hate UKIP me.

    I’m going to write about it in my new book, in between lionising people who would like to destroy the framework that affords me a nice little quality of life in return for approximately fuck all, thank you very much.

  281. 281
    Frank's daughter in law says:

    “Just what is good about coming second”

    I want a divorce

  282. 282
    Dave says:

    I seem to have something rattling around inside my head.

  283. 283
    Potty Loynbee says:

    I’ve taken Umbrage (albeit with a much-reduced majority).

  284. 284
    Jake Shears says:

    That’s enough of the cutting remarks.

  285. 285
    Jimmy says:

    Good news for the Lemons!

    UKIP already has a councillor in the constituency.

    Will he get the nod?

  286. 286
    Tom Catesby says:

    South shields will be more intereresting than Eastleigh in one important respect. In such a traditional solid labour seat, it will be useful to see what votes UKIP can take from Labour, I think they should do well against the tories and their poodles the Lib Dems. But it is in places like South Shields , generally regarded as areas of ‘instinctive’ labour voting, where there will be a real test for UKIP.Realistically a decent second will be good. But what percentage of the Labour vote can they take?.

  287. 287
    Berlock says:

    UK parliament 2025.

  288. 288
    JH23902392389 says:

    Why would they?

    To get more benefits. I didn’t have to think about that for long.

    You live in a fantasy world where all Labour voters are metropolitan trendy luvvies in cool glasses. Most of the embedded rump Labour vote don’t give a damn about your bien pensant anti-wacist bullshit. Money talks though.

  289. 289
    John Bull. says:

    Kennedy and all his family were Irish-Americans with an inherited hatred of Britain. They were serial shaggers of anything in a skirt to boot.
    Bloody good riddance to the festering clan.

  290. 290
    John Bull. says:

    Seen both Human Centipede offerings – truly nasty stuff, but watchable in awful fascination as to what was coming next!

  291. 291
    John Bull. says:

    UKIP would rather shit square breeze-blocks than work with Cameron.

  292. 292
    John Bull. says:

    How often did the posh twat ever GO to South Shields once elected?

  293. 293
    Nudger says:

    That’s true their favourite food is flouridated potato and wurzel stew .

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Rising Stars
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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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