March 27th, 2013

UKIP Bullish Over South Shields Second Place

The maths does not look great for anyone except Labour in the rotten borough of South Shields, but then that’s what was said about Rotherham where UKIP managed to come second last year. A spokesman for the party was boisterous about their chances in the seat.

“UKIP expect the momentum that has been gathering over the past year to become apparent in South Shields, where we will be selecting a candidate who will work hard to highlight how the ordinary people of South Shields have been let down by the old three parties and Labour in particular. Those who want to send a message to both front beches know the best way to do it, and that is to vote UKIP.”

Sources in the party are hopeful of a second place: “it is well within our grasp”And the bookies agree…

UPDATE: Keep an eye on John Tennant’s  website. He works for UKIP MEP Derek Clark and fancies his chances as the candidate:


  1. 1
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Bullish rather than bolshie. shureleee?


    • 98
      Anonymous says:

      A Message for all South Shields voters

      Come all the electorate throughout the UK
      It’s time to ignore what the LIBLABCON say
      Lets face it these parties have all had their day
      Our politics need rearranging
      So go out and vote UKIP lets sweep them away
      For the times they are a changing

      Not one of them listens to our point of view
      They’d sooner give our cash to the EU
      So lets kick them out and try something new
      We can’t afford this lot remaining
      Political rethink is long overdue
      For the times they are a changing

      They lied about Lisbon and promised a vote
      There all Europhiles and in the same boat
      Their treachery just bring a lump to my throat
      As each other they just keep blaming
      So send them a message and let them take note
      That the times they are a changing

      We will no longer tolerate lies being told
      Tax breaks for the rich but more tax for the old
      Ruled from the EU and our birthrights sold
      They ignore us when we are complaining
      If we all vote UKIP their out in the cold
      For the times they all need changing


      • 132
        Rumpledforeskin says:

        Keep taking the mandys Bob


      • 225
        Lord Stansted says:

        You make the major assumption that South Shields voters can read.


      • 273
        neitherdeadoralive says:

        This is South Shields we are talking about !!!!! Labour could put up one of Ken Livingstones toe nail clippings as a candidate, and it would get a huge majority !!! These people are so retarded they put a cross for their signature, not just as a vote !!!


    • 154
      Popeye says:

      Don’t they hang spying monkeys up there?


    • 178
      BBC says:

      Awfully sorry but at our debate before the election we only have space for the conservative party, labour party, liberal democrat party and green party.


      • 198
        The BBC song says:

        The people’s flag is deepest red,
        It shrouded oft our martyred dead,
        And ere their limbs grew stiff and cold,
        Their hearts’ blood dyed its every fold.
        Then raise the scarlet standard high.

        Within its shade we live and die,
        Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
        We’ll keep the red flag flying here.

        Look round, the Frenchman loves its blaze,
        The sturdy German chants its praise,
        In Moscow’s vaults its hymns were sung
        Chicago swells the surging throng.


        It waved above our infant might,
        When all ahead seemed dark as night;
        It witnessed many a deed and vow,
        We must not change its colour now.


        It well recalls the triumphs past,
        It gives the hope of peace at last;
        The banner bright, the symbol plain,
        Of human right and human gain.


        It suits today the weak and base,
        Whose minds are fixed on pelf and place
        o cringe before the rich man’s frown,
        And haul the sacred emblem down.


        With head uncovered swear we all
        o bear it onward till we fall;
        Come dungeons dark or gallows grim,
        This song shall be our parting hymn.


      • 208
        The other BBC song says:

        An unbreakable union of free republics,
        The Great Rus’ has welded forever to stand!
        Long live the creation of the will of the people,
        The united, mighty Soviet Union!

        Be glorious, our free motherland! A reliable stronghold of peoples’ friendship! The Party of Lenin, the strength of the people, Leads us to the triumph of Communism!

        Through tempests the sun of freedom shone to us,
        And the great Lenin illuminated our path,
        To a just cause he raised up the peoples,
        To labour and exploits he inspired us!


        In the victory of the immortal ideas of Communism
        We see the future of our country,
        And to the Red Banner of our glorious Motherland
        We shall always be selflessly true!



      • 249
        Anonymous says:

        Tha Eton Voting Song

        Jolly voting weather
        We are all europhiles
        We’re very clever
        And lie to you all the while
        You fell for our promise especially the CAST IRON trick
        We’re all from Eton, and you lot are all too thick.

        If you think I’ll claim back powers,
        You haven’t got a clue
        We’ll hand the UK to Merkle,
        There is nothing that you can do
        No referendums Changes through on the nod
        I am the PM and I’m a duplicitous sod

        As for immigration
        I know it gets on your tits
        I will flood the nation
        And pay their benefits
        I am from Eton; I am one of the ruling class
        If you don’t like it, you can just kiss my ****


        • 259
          Anonymous says:

          The Big Immigration Speech

          Dave, your immigration speech
          Will promise things out of reach
          We’ve not forgot the CAST IRON VOW
          And nobody believes you now
          Everything you say’s untrue
          The law is made in the EU

          The Tory troops you try to muster
          All realise the speech is bluster
          Your hope to shoot the UKIP Fox
          Won’t surface in the ballot box
          Now UKIP’s got you on the ropes
          And blown away all Tory hopes

          We’re all fed up pissed off and grumpy
          Sick to death of Ange and Rumpy
          We do not want your EU flag
          To us it’s just a piece of rag
          We want our sovereignty back
          Our culture, laws and Union Jack


    • 214

      Agreed, amended.


      • 253
        Last Madhouse on the left says:

        Rule Britannia the EU has our balls
        Get us out before Merkel’s bandits call

        There was a young Commie called Dave
        who thought his career he could save,
        He gave up his seat, voted with his feet
        And from New York you can see the twat wave.

        The people of South Shields do moan
        discontent and apathy shown
        cause again they have lost
        One more red at a cost
        Lets hope they can get one on loan.


  2. 2
    Jimmy says:

    Well there’s a decent far right vote to build on I suppose.


    • 10
      Miss Jones says:

      Come on Jimmy, close the browser and get on with your maths.


    • 11
      I Remember You Hoo says:

      The B&P are socialists, just like you Jimmy, get over it.


      • 22
        Jimmy says:

        Why don’t we wait and see what happens to their vote when the Lemon Party puts up a candidate? I know which way I think it’s going to go.


    • 87
      JH39024902384 says:

      That black wedge should really be next to the red one, it is after all Labour’s ex voters.


      • 99
        Jimmy says:

        You righties do love your urban myths.


        • 112
          champagne socialist says:

          Yes like WMD in Iraq.


        • 131
          I Remember You Hoo says:

          It appears Jimmy is in need of his daily dose of reality.

          There you go.


          • Joe says:

            NAZI is that the ‘National SOCIALIST German Workers’ Party’ by any chance?


          • Maqboul says:

            Very similar policies, they only real difference was that the Na­zis hated the Je­ws but even that differentiator has gone now with the Left’s obsessive hatred of Isra­el.


        • 242
          JH39024902384 says:

          Not at all Jimmy, all the footage I have seen of B:N:P shindigs – or at least the ones they are ‘allowed’ to have by the brownshirt-like U:A:F – are evocative of a working man’s club crowd.

          I doubt if any of them ever voted for those posh Tory poofters; ex Labour, all the way. Ignore reality if you like, but it sure as well won’t ignore you.


          • Jimmy says:

            So your (let’s call it) argument is that because they look like working class types they can’t have been tory voters.

            Would you like another crack at that?


          • JH39024902384 says:

            No, I wouldn’t.

            I’ve made far fewer presumptions about the voting patterns of particular socioeconomic groups than the average Labour apparatchik would rattle off the second it suited them.

            Your emotionalised refusal to face up to the fact that the majority of B:N:P voters are cast offs from your darling Labour is very telling, little man. You are so invested in the ‘Anything nasty=Right wing’ meme that you claim to not see it. Not blindness, but a refusal to see.

            Again, that miserable party and the miserable people in it are your creation. Be proud now.


          • Jimmy says:

            The assumptions are yours. Polling evidence is pretty clear about where support for the far right comes from. B&P voters where they have no candidate vote for UKIP if they stand, tories if they don’t. Racists generally don’t vote Labour. Think about his for a moment. Why would they?

            Incidentally UKIP supporters are overwhelmingly C2 or below and uneducated. I assure you this is evidence based rather than mere abuse (although it’s fun to repeat).


          • JH23902392389 says:

            Why would they?

            To get more benefits. I didn’t have to think about that for long.

            You live in a fantasy world where all Labour voters are metropolitan trendy luvvies in cool glasses. Most of the embedded rump Labour vote don’t give a damn about your bien pensant anti-wacist bullshit. Money talks though.


      • 107
        The Old Fella says:

        Do they wear black shirts as well, or do they prefer brown


    • 123
      martycaine says:

      Well as an Ex Labour supporter who has none gone to UKIP, your far right idea could not be further from the truth, there are a lot of ex Labour in UKIP because they have realised that the New Labour of today is more like the Conservative party of yesteryear and that is a plain simple fact.


      • 128
        Jimmy says:

        It’s the beeyenpee with a tie on. You’re really not kidding anyone you know.


        • 140
          Rumpledforeskin says:

          Don’t be silly


        • 191
          Paniagua Solo says:

          Labour – Tories in a boiler suit

          Tories – Labour in a suit

          LibDem – Wish I knew


        • 250
          JH39024902384 says:

          …and the B:N:P are just those Labour voters who got fed up with being told that they are to embrace diversity with a rictus grin.

          That is all they are Jimmy. Same socialist big-government re-distributionist policies, with the bits about enforced rejoicing at their own destruction taken out. Don’t sneer at them; they are your creation.

          Typical leftist. You get everything you want and then you shriek with horror at the inevitable – and entirely predictable – results.


      • 167
        Joe says:

        True but Labour types wont have any of it, more fool them I say.


  3. 3
    Phil Space says:

    Farage will always be the bridesmaid.

    Fortunately he is just splitting the Tory vote.


    • 80
      Cameron's father-in-law milks the wind farm scam says:

      The Tories can still rely on all the middle class faux-socialist europhile ecotard votes though, they’re the ones Dave’s really after.


      • 221
        Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

        Sorry, but Guardianistas will never vote Tory. They see the word “Conservative” on the tin, and they run a mile, without checking whether it does what it says on the tin. The fact that the Cameroon “Tories” are metro “liberals”/social “democrats”/cultural marxists doesn’t come into it.


    • 106
      Vicar of Bray says:

      UKIP also took votes from the voters who usually voted Labour and Limp-Dem!

      People are waking up, at last.


  4. 4
    Guido Fawkes & Owen Jones says:

    We’re backing “Toilets” to win in a canter for Old Labour.


  5. 5
    UKIP are real says:

    We grasp while the other parties grope

    That is our strategic advantage

    It is action not words that count


    • 27
      Anonymous says:

      It is the people that should count.

      It is now conclusive that we have progressed from the age of deception to the age of failure of imagination.

      We are acting dumb struck and sitting back as our world is destroyed around us. Not the planet, but human level world. Our society, our neighbourhood, our safety, our governance are disintegrating. Why because the people are now redundant. They are not an essential part of the plans. The size and stupidity of the EU is beyond the imagination of the people, and the people are too insignificant in the imagination of the EU.

      The banking system is a fictitious arrangement that has been based on deception and nihilistic behaviour. Now it is confirmed that the deception has failed and the people are just blatantly being robbed for the glorification of the leaders. There is no future imagined only survival of the system. There is no input from the people that can change the system.

      To show the difference look at the words of Kennedy. Ignore the target he chose and look how it was expressed.
      1962: “We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.”

      He spoke to the people as the essential part of the equation and effort.


  6. 6
    IDF says:

    Abu Qatada appeal rejected but ‘fight will carry on’


    • 16
      William Hague says:

      We are a sovereign nation.


    • 46

      Look..its very simple. Tell him that he has no UK legal status and he will be taken from our shores and if he ever sets foot on them again he will be arrested and imprisoned for 100 years without appeal. Then take him to Brighton pier and shove him off.


      • 70
        Abu Cocktada says:

        I’ll tell you what should be done to Qatada. Just look up the premise for the film The Human Centipede.


        • 290
          John Bull. says:

          Seen both Human Centipede offerings – truly nasty stuff, but watchable in awful fascination as to what was coming next!


      • 101
        Gonk III says:

        The ever elegant, ‘Long walk off a short pier’


      • 244
        Earl of Croydon says:

        For some reason he doesnt strike me as a bloke who can swim.
        I dare say that may well have formed part of you point…to which I would also hope he would drown.


    • 195
      JH39024902384 says:

      Surely it’s not too much to ask for an Apache pilot to accidentally hit his car with a Brimstone missile. ‘Sorry I thought I was in Afghanistan’ could be the excuse.

      It would all blow over after a while.


  7. 7
    Braindead in South Shields says:

    Labour foreva!


    • 14
      Tracey from South Shields says:

      Labar is the only party that will kick out all the foreigners and leave the EU and the Human Rights. I asked them and they said so. Plus they gave me free cider.


      • 23
        Ed Miliband's Parasite Party (for skivers, not strivers) says:

        And lots of other people’s money, Tracey. Don’t forget that. Lots of other people’s money.

        Now drínk your cíder and sleep through the afternoon, Tracey. Soon our Dear Leader, Ed Miliband, will govern Britain for the benefit of all parasites and spongers such as yourself. Rejoice, Tracey, and sleep well.


  8. 8
    Election says:

    Vote monster raving loony.

    Vote Labour.


  9. 9
    egghead says:

    Hopefully the scales will fall from the peoples eyes up there and they will back UKIP to give the liblabcon traitors the kick in the nuts that is needed to get these muppets working for the UK again and not every other scumbag in the world…


    • 17
      Sir Nibel Garage in a Paris restaurant says:

      What freebies can I give these Chavs?

      Free beer?

      Free Frenchies?

      Free Sky TV?

      Free white stuff?

      What do they like nowadays?


      • 26
        Paul Nutter says:

        Free money

        Free KFC

        Free tattoo’s


      • 36
        egghead says:

        God knows,some jobs might help,but hey lets just carry on voting as we always have and see the country wrecked by the EU!


      • 54
        Resident of 96.97% white Merseyside says:

        I remember a Mirror headline back in the 1960’s before an election.


        Oh. how times they are a changing.


  10. 13
    Wince Cobblers says:

    I have no recollection of South Shields.


    • 59
      Resident of 96.97% white Merseyside says:

      The seafront is quite pleasant but King Street isn’t the same since Binns closed down.


  11. 15
    Fruitcake says:

    Please vote UKIP so we can have Ed Miliband as our prime minister and no referendum on EU membership.


    • 21
      Downing Steet voice says:

      Vote UKIP and lose your remaining freedoms

      Sad but true


      • 29
        himindoors says:

        Vote Conservative and…… oh, we’ve already lost them.


        • 55
          One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave, says:

          It’s my God-given right to bug your phones, monitor your emails and censor your press, what what!! This is my country, I own it. And I’ll bally-well cover it in concrete and immigrants if I want to, what what.

          And don’t you jolly well complain when I spend £11billion of your money every year on foreign, either, you little oiks. I jolly well know how to spend your money better than you do.

          Now get back to work, you horrid wretched oiks, I want more tax revenue to give to those super people in Brussels, what what what.

          Pip pip!


      • 77
        Heir to Blair says:

        Dave’s full of shit, the kippers will force him in to a coalition next time round.
        He’ll have no other choice the way he’s going.


        • 196
          Larry says:

          Dave will be out of Downing Street before than


        • 206
          I Remember You Hoo says:

          Cameron would rather cross the floor of the house than work with UKIP.

          The one good thing if he is still leader of the Fauxservatives, he will probably take his fellow Fabians with him into some sort of LabLibFauxcon alliance of shit.


    • 29
      Camoron's Cast Iron Guarantee Company Ltd says:

      Referendum on an EU thingy? Oh, yes, we’ve promised a couple of those, haven’t we? Yes, vote Conservative and you will definitely probably have a referendum or something. Perhaps. Sort of. Or maybe not.

      We guarantee it!


      • 252
        Not impressed says:

        BuUt the one thing you can guarantee is that Miliband won’t offer a referendum. The way I see it, this “we don’t believe Cameron will actually make good on his promise” stuff is actully just cover for “we don’t want a referendum because we’re worried we’ll lose”.


    • 34
      Welsh activist. says:

      Does it matter? This country is broken and wether it is LibCon/LibLab any other amalgamation, or even autonomous goverment, nothing but nothing is going to change that. The UK is not much more than a landfill site for the worlds rubbish now.


    • 37
      fruitcake says:

      hey a fruitcake impersonator….love you


    • 68
      Bob says:

      Ukippers aren’t falling for it anymore Mr Fruitcake, no one trusts Dave.


  12. 18
    I hate Hugh Grant cos he's a moron says:

    Don’t know what will happen but can say the Geordies won’t by happy with him walking away. If nothing else they expect unflinching loyalty from their MP This could backfire against Labours next choice


    • 24
      Badmington Polly says:

      Are there no patriots left in Britain?

      I think I will be off to Tuscany for good


    • 88
      Nogbad the Bad says:

      Not sure I agree Hugh, just down the coast the voters in Hartlepool kept Mrs Mangle in for years, and “Sir” Stuart Bell didn’t even hold surgeries in Middlesboro’ because he knew he would get a majority no matter what.

      The Tories brought Nissan to Sunderland in 1986, Komatsu to Birtley in 1987, both an easy commute from Sheilds.

      Maybe that’s the problem, the la’al wasters won’t vote for anyone who brings them work.


  13. 19
    Berlock says:

    New Labour could put up a local seagull and win the election in South Shields.The only benefit being that it would not cover you in as must shit as the greatly departure uf Miliband the lesser.


    • 33
      I say what like and I like what I bloody well say says:

      If it’s owt like Leigh they could put a pig in a red rosette and canter home. It worked for Andy Burnham.


  14. 20
    Downing Steet voice says:

    Anyone for windmills today chaps?


  15. 25
    A lorra lorra Balls says:


    • 44
      Morley & Outwood says:

      Not look good and set to get worse, oh well see ya later Ed and don’t forget your parachute.


    • 256
      Nigel Marmalade says:

      Don’t worry, Ed. UKIP will split the anti-Labour vote so you’ll be fine.


  16. 28
    SamCam says:

    My Dave said that UKIP will not win in South Shields cos they are “Nasty Tories” Just wondering should he have said that?


    • 45
      WPP Mandy and lies, PR meisters says:

      Fruitcakes sounded better

      It’s all in the spin as Gweedo would say


  17. 29
    Owen Jones says:

    I’m delighted that my friend Abu Qatada won’t be deported. He’s a political prisoner of this baby eating government. We have to learn to respect Islam and our Muslim superiors, even though I’d be hanged or beheaded by them for being gay. But I’m such a retarded hypocrite who’s desperate for any reason to bash the government and Is*ael, I conveniently forget that Abu and his pals are the most homophobic, misogynist, murderous lunatics on earth.


  18. 32
    Resident of 96.97% white Merseyside says:

    The people of South Shields will remember all those Public Sector jobs and extra benefits New Labour created for them.

    As for immigration S.Shields has a Yemeni community but they have been there for about a hundred years.


  19. 34
    Abu Qatada says:

    Yes, you stupid ingerlish! You will continues to pay for my benefits and free house!!


  20. 40
    Ponzi Mister Blair says:

    I am a bit busy boys at the moment

    But when I have stuffed another £30 million of so away in offshore accounts (My investment bank are specialists in tax avoidance)

    I will be back to organise My Scond Great Ponzi Scheme

    I will then do like our Hero Denis Healey and go begging to the IMF to save you all


  21. 41
    Steve Miliband says:

    Still at a loss as to why Miliband left South Shields for a multi-million dollar contract in New York


    • 57

      So he’s going to be paid a fat cat salary, but he works for a charity.

      Better email Ed and ask him to check his predator/producer list to see where this sits.


      • 201
        Who stole my vote? says:

        It used to be that rich people with time on their hands gave up their time freely to work for charities, now it is a career choice and a lavishly paid one at that. If you are stupid enough to give to the big corporate charity fraud you are too stupid to breathe.


      • 211
        The Old Fella says:

        But what constitutes a Charity Bill, Eaton College is a charity so are a lot of very strange and wonderful institutions that call themselves charities, pushing the law as far as possible, a charity should not be a vehicle to avoid paying tax.


        • 239
          I Remember You Hoo says:

          Oddly the government gives £1 billion a month of taxpayers money to charities.

          That equates to around £50 taken per month, from an average taxpayer and forcibly re-distibuted by government, to people they want to give your tax money to.


    • 292
      John Bull. says:

      How often did the posh twat ever GO to South Shields once elected?


  22. 47
    Sir Vichael Smear says:

    In a poll yesterday, 97% of South Shields residents said they thought Gordon Brown was doing an excellent job as prime minister.


  23. 48
    Kevin "Toilets" Maguire says:

    I was born to be either MP for South Shields or a stand up comedian.

    Paddy walks into his local surgery.

    “I need a doctor!” he shouts. “I have a terrible skin condition and want some cream for it.”

    “Dermatological?” asks the receptionist.

    “Yeah, that’s the stuff!” says Paddy excitedly.

    “No. That’s his name,” she replies. “Dr Dermot O’Logical. Would you like to book an appointment?”


  24. 50
    Hank The Cat says:

    Went to South Shields once on a diving vessel, I think it was the V&A dock, it was grim I mean really grim, the crew to a local boozer where they had a strip night, came back traumatized screaming all night for the strippers to put their clothes back on


  25. 52
    Ed Balls(Chancellor Of The Exchequer Designate) says:

    Home Secretary loses Abu Qatada appeal. As she always was going to do.
    Will taxpayers now pay her costs of misconceived appeal?


  26. 53
    Berlock says:

    Mummy says are you still on that computer Owen now put that mouse down brush your teeth and go to bed ,you have school in the morning.You little leftie turd.


  27. 58
    Paywalls mean death for newspapers says:

    Sun behind a paywall?

    Your fees must be killing the paper Guido

    I think Murdoch is trying to ruin all his newspapers in Britain

    So that he can abandon them all

    The Times is already a dead tree walking

    The Sun’s staff is seriously depleted (to be polite for once)

    I think you will all by yourself in a huge office in Wapping

    We will come and see you though…


    • 82
      Bogeyman says:

      As long as they don’t sack the headline-writers. Stuff like “Elton takes David up the aisle” is worth a year’s subscription.


      • 103
        Paywall for Guido says:

        Guido or Neo could just about do the gripping headlines methinks

        After all they do it for GQ and other glossy rags already

        But someone would have to get up in the middle of the night to get presses rolling

        Heavy task indeed…


      • 111
        Wapping NUJ Chapel says:

        The real question then is:

        Are the headline writers hackers as well?

        We need to know to organise Guido’s diary…

        Or perhaps he can find an unpaid intern to do the night shift


    • 130
      Grauniad says:

      Our idea to tax everyone with a broadband connection was the right one.

      PS – Liberate the Malvinas’


    • 230
      The Old Fella says:

      “The Times is already a dead tree walking” it has been a dead tree for a very long time, why do you think captain Bob got rid, it is supposed to be an upmarket newspaper that’s the only reason Maxwell and Murdoch bought it. The Sun was the only the old daily Herald and Murdoch turned it around then he bought a paper a bit later run by an Indian guy after originally backing him in his battle with SOGAT, I think it was called Today.


      • 241
        A connaisseur says:

        Allthese papers are walking dead

        Like Captain Bob Bob Bobbing and soon to be Citizen Murdoch and the Mock Tudor Beams Barclays bros Graunid KGB Independent etc

        I only want to save Bryony Gordon

        and ask her to write a weekly column here

        If she agrees to expose her beautiful bosom elegantly for us once in a while

        That is not too much to ask for the fame we can give here here


  28. 60
    Guido Fawkes & Owen Jones Coalition says:

    Those South Shields candidates in full? Kevin Maguire Lab, Andrew Pierce Con, oflynnexpress UKIP and DavidWooding LD.


  29. 61
    Bob says:

    Can’t see UKIP doing anything up there, protest votes tend to go to the B&P.


  30. 65
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    Chance of ECB Rate Cut Next Week Has Increased on Cyprus: Citi. Just what Europe needs: negative deposit rates.


    • 93
      Russian oligarch (you know the rest) says:

      Vladimir Laundrovich ….HELP

      Not only have the Europeans sized my illegal funds

      But they want to charge me for what is left

      I will sell my daughter to you for some help

      Where is the Soviet Navy when we need it?


  31. 69
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    “””rotten borough of South Shields”””

    errrr is that the official Conservative view of the people of the North West

    and you still don’t believe yourselves to be nasty party….LOL


    • 71
      Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

      whoops North East. But makes no difference coz that is also your view of the people of the NW too


    • 85
      Grant Papps says:

      Or course it is

      Do you think any self-respecting party would grovel to illiterate hereditary chavs?
      Sometimes you just have to writeoff some places

      Like tribal Jockieland of late and blessed Gordoom memory

      Anyone who could elect Maximum Imbecile (or Rendition Banana Millie)repeatedly needs to be sectioned immediately

      We stand for a minimum of civilisation you see


    • 100
      NorthEasterner says:

      you may care to look up South Shields on google maps.. its about as far EAST as you can go without getting your feet wet!


  32. 73
    Tony Blair says:

    Yes yes, I know you all want to thank me for my 10 years that brought you the likes of Abu Qatada and 7/7. Don’t you feel enriched?


  33. 74
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    September, 1914 Bethmann Hollweg

    “We must create a central European economic association through common customs treaties, to include France, Belgium, Holland, Denmark, Austria-Hungary, Poland “sic”, and perhaps Italy, Sweden and Norway. This association will not have any common constitutional supreme authority and all its members will be normally equal, but in practice will be under German leadership and must stabilise Germany’s economic dominance over Mitteleuropa”

    Funny how history repeats itself, anyhow Liebour win. Stick a rosette on a piece of **** etc


    • 139
      Ex Germania semper eadem says:

      1818 Zollverein – Customs Union between the self-governing states of Germany that ended in a single Prussian-dominated country.


  34. 75
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Do the maths. Enough second-place finishes in enough by-elections, and by 2015, UKIP will be heading into the election defending exactly– how many is that, again?– NIL seats.

    Gotta win one every now and then, Nigel. Otherwise, people will think, “What kinda shithouse operation are they running, anyway, having candidates standing in hopeless constituencies just to prove some kind of point that they can steal the potential Tory vote, such as it is, in such hellholes? Isn’t the money better spent some other way?” So decide, Nigel: Do you want to succeed, or do you want to suck seed?


  35. 76
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:


    75000 of the bugg*ers could be on our door steps within weeks.


    • 205
      Liam Byrne, there is no money left says:

      Quite right

      Worse than the bloody roms

      And they paid tax in the old daysbefore we turned tax avoidance into industry


    • 213
      London says:

      No problem. Deport all the Turkish Cypriots. There will then be plenty of room


  36. 78
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    Tories and Lib Dums to BOTH lose deposits !!!!!!!


    • 148
      champagne socialist says:

      fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap…….


  37. 79
    Bogeyman says:

    I note that Guardianistas are having a collective aneurysm at the prospect of food vouchers being given to “vulnerable people” (i.e. those suddenly finding themselves on welfare) instead of cash loans. Could someone enlighten me?

    The same vulnerable people derive great pleasure from collecting Tesco vouchers (often before spending them on crap like “fragrancing systems”), also holding me up at the till while they fiddle with their wretched coupons.

    Yet when the government offers to do the same, the Lefties go doolally. “Despicable”, “stigmatisation”, “boot in the face of the poor”, “back to the workhouse”…

    There are billions around the world who would kill for free food vouchers. Or have I missed something?


    • 121
      Will says:

      dear bogeyman, what they are worried about is that people are not allowed to have fags booze. if people have to spent it on food that’s terrible.

      I think finally that people are staring to ask why are we spending so much money on welfare, when 1 million poles can come over here and get a job !!

      the problem is that the people affected by immigration are the individuals at the bottom of the pile, who are undercut by individuals who are willing to undercut them.

      Don’t worry they will always blame Maggie, despite when the tories came to power in 1979 our country was industrially in a right state.


      • 136
        Highly paid sociologist says:

        I would suggest hat if 1 million poles can find jobs, there is no reason whey “those at the bottom of the ladder” cannot..

        But perhaps they simply do not want to make the effort to get off their “bottoms”

        Res ipsa loquitor


        • 153
          Charles Darwin says:

          In other words, there are “hereditary “bottoms”

          Represented by false hereditary bottoms”

          iei. Champagne socialists like Millie Banana, Mand,y Blair, and all the rest


    • 127
      LibLabCon spinner says:

      They are called food stamps

      It sounds better

      Have been around the US for a century

      Means he Chavs never have to work to be able to eat

      Big business


      • 265
        Matilda says:

        Good. Lots of graffiti needs a good scrubbing. Double vouchers if they do 15 walls a day!!


  38. 81
    Reaction to news that Abu Qatada will be allowed to stay says:

    Whether it’s good news or bad news, they react the same.


  39. 84
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    Oh dear

    Another pair of “mates of The Sun” locked up today.



  40. 89

    Labour party shortlist for South Shields.

    John O’Farrell
    Ed Byrne
    Mark Steel
    Eddie Izzard
    Jeremy Hardy
    Marcus Brigstoke
    Chris Addison

    Ben Elton

    Actually, any of them would be an improvement


    • 95
      Panty Man says:

      Didn’t Eddie Izzard say he’d give it 5 years before jumping in to politics?


    • 96
      Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

      Tory short List

      Jim Davidson
      Freddie Starr
      Bill Roache
      Michael Le Vell


    • 124
      Huge Grant says:

      That poor Mr Brigstock has been the subject to vile stories in the Daily Fail about his private life. I mean it’s up to him if he wants to have a year long affair with a co-star whilst leaving his wife and young family at home.


      • 145
        Cheap cheap 5 dorra hooker says:

        Do you feel divine?


      • 223
        Hypocritecunt says:

        I read he’s away in Austria skiing. I thought he was against flying on account of the damage to the environment etc.


      • 266
        Matilda says:

        Huge, as you are unlikely to ever again be asked to make a film, why don’t you stand? At least we’ll get a few laughs at PMQs! And you can monitor your pathetic charter from the inside.


  41. 90
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    I see SamC*unt is in Syria today


    • 117
      P l e b says:

      Fact finding mission for when we open our refugee camps next year


    • 158
      Labour Danger says:

      As a Labour supporter, you’re not supposed to be sexist and make remarks like that. Or is it ok to call a woman a c-unt when she’s not a Labour member?


  42. 91
    Mrs May says:

    Putting Abu Qatada on eBay. Buyer collects.


    • 151
      Why not? says:

      Forget deportation. Put him in a taxi and deliver him to the Jordanian Embassy.


      • 267
        Matilda says:

        .. and then only let him out under armed escort to a Jordanian air force jet waiting at a nearby RAF base.


        • 268
          A Human Writes and having writ wretires. says:

          … accompanied by his entire family too.

          Then Theresa can say that he was not deported, he merely went on holiday with his pals.


    • 161
      Willy Vague says:

      Have him powdered and perfumed and sent to my chambers


    • 169
      Theresa's aide de camp says:

      Have we got a date for that Theresa?


    • 170
      Robin Williams says:

      They killed Saddam’s sons Uday and Qusay. They still don’t know what happened to his other son, Ebay.


      • 234
        Con Man Blair says:

        Ebay was killed by mistake in Libya or Dubya if I remember

        But I still collect the dividends


  43. 97
    D Milibland says:

    You ask me how I would like to be remembered. Well, think of the famous photograph of me holding a banana and grinning like a chimp. I feel that adequately sums up my contribution to UK politics.


    • 183
      Just tell it like it is; spell it out; no holds barred; say what you think says:

      Why yhe fick do you think that any of us are going to remember you. You have more chance of Vince Cable recollecting you than the rest even bothering to try.


  44. 102
  45. 108
    Maqboul says:

    John Tennant? Well at least he’s a geordie, but I worry what will happen to the Pet Shop Boys if he wins.


    • 165
      Owen Jones says:

      Doesnt he look lush?

      I would drink a pint of Tennants *slurp*


    • 174
      Comedy 101 says:

      The joke only works if it’s the same name. PSB’s singer is Neil Tennant.

      In contrast, there’s a Labour speechwriter called Phil Collins. That works for a joke.


  46. 115
    Owen Jones says:

    A skinhead, across the bar, has been staring at me all night. I think I’ve pulled.

    As soon as I’ve finished eating my bogeys I’ll go and offer him a drink.


  47. 120
    middle class faux-socialist europhile ecotard says:

    UKIP for me


  48. 121
    Berlock says:

    To all political parties that hope to challenge New Labour in South Shields save your money,the postal votes have already been counted .


  49. 125
    Pato says:

    Why anyone would vote labour again is beyond me , FALSE wars that resulted in thousands of Iraqi and British lives, open door immigration which has destroyed this country ,i want a government that is proud of our history,culture and heritage . Ukip for me and im sure many more will vote the same way may 2nd.


  50. 126
    Charles Darwin says:

    The natural progression of things.

    Ex Conservative voters —move to—> UKIP
    Ex Labour voters ———move to—-> B&P


    • 175
      Charles Darwin Junior says:

      and Ex LibDem voters move to —> House of Ermine Vermin (without passing go and going to jail) to do some free groping…


  51. 129
    Will says:

    south shields might be a labour stronghold or a rotten borough depending how you look at it. I think UKIP should stand, thye will not win but I think it would show Ed milliband how much the electorate hate him whilst not having the stomach to admit that they voted tory


  52. 137
    Realist says:

    They would vote for a dog turd if it had a red rosette attached to it. Just the same as in Stoke-on-Trent.


  53. 138
    Anonymous says:

    Bullish?? Is that a reference to bullshit?


  54. 141
    Truth said says:

    The Conservative Party is Had it, Cameron has done what he set out to do and finish it, typical Socialist. UKIP is the only way forward and all true Conservatives should move over to them as soon they may be out of a job.


    • 240
      Truth without varnish says:

      Not every conservative buys into the kippers’ shrill jingoism or thinks that Miliband isn’t any worse than Cameron. Ukip will never attract enough votes to be a contender for no 10.


  55. 146
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    …and for the record Neo Nut F*ck Wits

    Abu Qatada arrrived with welcoming open arms to the UK in 1993


    • 171
      Owen Jones says:

      Would you be saying this if he was an ex-pat trying to get back from Cyprus

      You really are a f’ing shit aren’t you


    • 207
      LIBLABCONNERS have ruined the U.K. says:

      Yep. The LIBLABCONNERS were in charge. Letting all the fucking mozzies and other immigrant parasites in. Just as they still are, without a clue how many courtesy of the UKBA.


      • 218
        Fuck the LibLabCon says:

        When you look back over the years it’s disgusting what they’ve done and the lies they’ve told.


  56. 149
    Ed Miliband says:

    Dr. Beeching went too far and too fast.


  57. 156
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Who on earth is defending Abi Qatada, and why?


  58. 163
    All together now says:

    The people’s flag is deepest red,

    It shrouded oft our martyred dead,

    {Tune – O Tannenbaum}


  59. 172
    Anonymous says:


  60. 184
    Who stole my vote? says:

    Labour activists are preparing their postal votes in advance, just to help the poor people of South Shields who cannot read or write or walk to the polling booth, the voter does not even need to see the form, its all done for them. This is how socialists take care of the ‘working’ classes, the new modern easy way to vote labour without even putting down your stella or taking your eyes off the 60′ HD LED set to Sky sports.


  61. 185
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    Richard Trunkfield and Alan Tierney

    I’m sure I’ve seen this pair knocking around bars and pubs frequented by Guido and Mongo Mo*ley


  62. 216
  63. 217
    Lord Madoff Mandelson says:

    Thank you for the publicity Guido

    You are a true friend

    My new New Labour policy is to include Britain in the Rouble Zone

    I wrecked Britain once but I heave learned from my mistakes

    THis new experiment will include British passports for any pillaging oligarch (most of them are my friends)

    Free access to all those bent London lawyers

    Free money laundering with the biggest UK banks (now that Cyprus is gone pear shaped)

    And freedom from prosecution for any crimes committeed in Russia, of course

    The same will apply for Asian dictators (especially Tony’s) friends

    And, of cours, we will give food stamps to the Chavs, plus a bit of free beer I think

    You approve I assume?


    • 271
      Catty Comment (Ms) says:

      There are not many Asian dictators around. Did you perhaps mean south American where they are ten a penny. Geography not your strong suit?


  64. 219
    It just gets better and better! says:

    It just gets better and better!

    The EU has proposed a budget increase of £9.5 billion this year – more than the controversial Cyprus bail-out

    That would cost British taxpayers £1.2 billion and leave David Cameron no option to veto.


    • 229
      UK taxpayer says:

      Who signed the Lisbon Treaty then?

      Hang the Labour traitors

      Is this why Blair and Mandy are running scared offshore?

      Is that why Banana Milliband has fled to America?

      Does he now have immunity from prosecution there?

      He would if he goes to I s r a e l…


      • 231
        Anonymous says:

        Gordon Brown and David Miliband signed it,behind closed doors.


        • 272
          Catty Comment (Ms) says:

          .. and without authority as they had already been voted out of office and therefore had no mandate from the people. The Foreign Office should just tell the EU to tear that page out of the book as its contents are void. Then we can start to do things our own way again.


    • 237
      Fuck the LibLabCon says:

      Ha ha ha ha, the Euroloons have no idea what they are doing.


  65. 276
    Jimmy says:

    ps In the headline you misspelt “Bullshit”.


    • 280
      John O' Farrell says:


      I hate UKIP me.

      I’m going to write about it in my new book, in between lionising people who would like to destroy the framework that affords me a nice little quality of life in return for approximately fuck all, thank you very much.


  66. 277
    Frank's son says:

    Just what is good about coming second in a FPTP contest? If they ain’t aiming to win why on Earth enter? Same goes for all the other parties.


  67. 285
    Jimmy says:

    Good news for the Lemons!

    UKIP already has a councillor in the constituency.

    Will he get the nod?


  68. 286
    Tom Catesby says:

    South shields will be more intereresting than Eastleigh in one important respect. In such a traditional solid labour seat, it will be useful to see what votes UKIP can take from Labour, I think they should do well against the tories and their poodles the Lib Dems. But it is in places like South Shields , generally regarded as areas of ‘instinctive’ labour voting, where there will be a real test for UKIP.Realistically a decent second will be good. But what percentage of the Labour vote can they take?.


  69. 287
    Berlock says:

    UK parliament 2025.


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