March 27th, 2013

Comrade Kev for South Shields #KM4SS

There is one obvious candidate already being punted to replace David Miliband in South Shields:

A strong local born candidate, loyal to the party and an excellent media performer. It’s time for Kevin Maguire to make his love of Labour official and throw his hat in the ring. It would mean taking a pretty hefty pay cut mind though…


UPDATE II: Adam Boulton has tipped our Kev live on Sky News: “He may be a metropolitan trendy these days, but he is a local boy born and bred.” Big Kev has the big mo.


  1. 1
    A local resident says:

    Why hai yer bastard though but.

  2. 2
    Jagbulon says:

    That is the problem. MPs are massively underpaid.

  3. 3
    kevin maguire says:

    i’ll shake up the wan kaz

  4. 4
    Ref says:

    God, its bad enough having to listen to this twerp on tv and read him papers without him spouting shite in the HoC as well.

  5. 5
    Back@woodsman says:

    Ah good, a re-run of the ‘Toilets’ saga !

  6. 6
    Steve Miliband says:

    Was one of his parents an MP?

  7. 7
    The Boundary Commission says:

    Why not just abolish the seat? There are are far too many Labour controlled rotten boroughs as it is.

  8. 8
    Edward Izzard says:

    oohh! oooh! i want a go…… its my time to be a labour MP

  9. 9
    Jobs for the Boyos says:

    They’ve tried comedians. Now another minor media celebrity wafting into a plum job? Pure Labour cronyism.

  10. 10
    Another bloody critic says:

    Would the shite he spouts lower or increase the average quality of the shite already spoted there?

  11. 11
    Resident of 96.96% white Merseyside says:

    I bet lorry drivers earn more than 67K.

  12. 12
    John O'Farrell says:

    What about me? I like an ego trip.

    And hello to my comrades in the I-R-A.

  13. 13
    Greychatter says:

    Kevin would be great – Gordon Brown’s biggest apologist – or Polly should stand for the seat- show the electorate what a lot of wealthy Left Wing Big Mouths support Labour.

  14. 14
    Whispa says:

    Is he an approved candidate on Len McCluskey’s secret list?

  15. 15
    If I can come back, you can come back says:

    Labour put up a comedy candidate in the last by-election.

  16. 16
    Snaplegs says:

    A socialist take a pay cut – doubt it!

  17. 17
    Resident of 96.97% white Merseyside says:

    Oh sugar I’ve done it again!

    I bet lorry dr*v*er*s earn more than 67K

  18. 18
    New Boundary Commission Guidelines says:

    If the seat is likely to be held by Labour abolish it once the MP stands down.

    [Ruling made to give Dave Cam a sporting chance in 2015.]

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    could get his mate andrew pierce to stand as well, it’ll be a sky news extravaganza

  20. 20
    A north easterner says:

    we are all as thick as pig shite up ere, this maguie sounds like just the type of proud socialist wot we needs

  21. 21
    Anarchists In Blazers says:

    Mensch and now Milliband demonstrating that being an MP is no long considered by those who are, as the privilege to representing the British people, but ‘just another job’ to be dispensed with as soon as an opportunity to push your snout further in to the tough appears.

  22. 22
    Definition of a Geordie, why Aye says:

    A Scotsman with his brains kicked out.

  23. 23
    Miliband's Obituary. says:

    What I don’t understand is that Yesterday Miliband senior was a failure and today he is a great loss to our nation. According to the punditry that is.

  24. 24
    Len Mcluskey says:

    fook off tory poof

  25. 25
    Moaty's Ghost says:

    Gazza 4 MP!!!

  26. 26
    The Central Scrutinizer says:

    Maguire has been marinated in the ‘Thatcher out!’, ‘Tories are Scum’, bile that the North East working men’s clubs have been cooking up for decades.

    It’s an attitude that means he cannot and will not consider pragmatic and practical approaches to many of our nation’s problems. If you attempt to touch upon one of his ‘sensitivites’ (e.g NHS, comprehensive education, unions etc) he will respond with faux outrage, accompanied by lots of arm waving and spittle.

    Someone so heavily opinionated is no use to parliament.

  27. 27
    Council bunfights says:

    And the award for best kept public loo’s in the UK goes to…South Shields.

  28. 28
    Tachybaptus says:

    Or, looked at it another way, he would be a perfect addition to this heaving mass of scum.

  29. 29
    One Man One Vote says:

    The electorate in South Shields was 63,765 in 2010.

    In the Isle of Wight the electorate was 110,924. The pattern of unfair votes is repeated accross the south, whether a constutiuency is rural (Hertford 79,255, Banbury 84,063, Bury St Edmunds 85,933) or urban (Brentford’s electorate was 83,332, East Ham’s 91,531, Gloucester’s was 80,788)

    The system is a corrupted disgrace. We no longer have a system of democracy in which there is equal representation in Parliament.

  30. 30
    Old Nick says:

    Methinks the stews and bars of Twickenham will not see this as good news given that Kev’s GDP keeps them going….

    On another note, Milliband major’s departure was not a carefully orchestrated event. His constituency found it something of a surprise, so despite little Ed trying to say it had all been discussed, methinks someone is telling a whopper and will receive punishment accordingly in the afterlife. The good folk of South Shields according to the constituency stooge want a local candidate instead of a carpetbagger but this news was such a surprise they haven’t yet initiated candidate selection, so they’ll have to get their fingers out – eh, bonny lads?

    Perhaps I shall have some leniency towards DM – nothing seems to have becomed him so much as the manner of his departure.

    As for Kev – well, I’m sure he’s been a very very naughty boy – so this should keep us amused for a while.

  31. 31
    JabbaTheCat says:

    Overnight is a long time in politics?

  32. 32
    Edna in Clapham says:

    Another chippy comrade who follows the politics of envy and hate.

    Dreadful man.

    Rather than projecting their hang ups and feelings of social inadequacy on to the public, people like Maguire should seek therapy to sort out their issues.

  33. 33
    a non says:

    A choice between Blair or Maguire would suggest a tossup between the scum at the top or the dregs at the bottom of the Labour barrel.
    What about Ed’s suggestion for an increase in young, female representation where gender issues were introduced to outweigh competance?
    Laurie Penny or Owen Jones would appear to be a shoo in.

  34. 34
    Edna in Clapham says:

    Maguire’s real agenda is demonise the right.

    He’s a bigot and prejudiced and therefore, I suppose, will fit in to the labour party quite well.

  35. 35
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Is he as nice as Tom Watson?

  36. 36
    Owen Jones says:

    The chart that shows this recession is the worst since 1920: Full #gdp data back to 1955 here:

  37. 37
    Flushed says:

    I can see campaign slogan now.


  38. 38
    Calling a spade a spade says:

    Has he got any?

  39. 39
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    Tories 4th in By – Election. bets anyone !!!!!

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    #KM4SS = Kiss My Ass

  41. 41
    Edna in Clapham says:

    I just vomited on seeing that name. Thanks a bunch.

  42. 42
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    “””Maguire’s real agenda is demonise the right.”””

    LOL…im pi*ssing nyself


  43. 43
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    It really is not fair that one geordie is equal to two taxpayers.

  44. 44
    Guido Fawkes & Owen Jones says:

    Nice one “Toilets”.

    Good luck to him!

    Horrible picture though! ;-)

  45. 45
    OnBenefits says:

    And a lost deposit?

  46. 46
    Sid the Sexist says:

  47. 47
    One Man One Vote says:

    Arfon in Wales has an electorate of a mere 41,138, while the Western Isles have only 21,837 voting for their MP.

  48. 48
    Meanwhile back at the Labour HQ says:

  49. 49
    Handycock says:

    I lost my deposit.

  50. 50
    Ed Balls says:


    I like this so much I’m gonna kick a dog

  51. 51
    Tony Billionaire says:

    Pay cut? You’re having laugh. Not how it works.

  52. 52
    A Londoner says:

    I hate his regional accent. Can’t he sort it out?

  53. 53
  54. 54
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    There are currently 75,000 Expat Brits in Cyprus .

    Can we have reassurances that these turn coats will NOT be bailed out by UK taxes, OR let back in on a whim to use UK services .

  55. 55
    Mobiddly O'bees says:

    The inhabitants of South Shields are not Geordies, they are called Sand Dancers.

  56. 56
    OnBenefits says:

    Maybe we should elect Quatada now he’s staying with us?

  57. 57
    One Man One Vote says:

    Such people are entitled to be represented in Parliament.

    I object to the corrupt system which means there are so many of them in Parliament because none of the parties believes sufficiently in democracy to ensure we have equal representation in Parliament any more. They are utterly unprincipled and corrupt.

  58. 58
    50 Calibre says:

    Why aye, the bonny lad lives in Kingston where the rich folks live. He’ll get even richer when the taxpayer has to buy him a house in Shields and do it up, furnish it and all that stuff…

  59. 59
    Edna in Clapham says:

    Perhaps we have to be ‘nasty scum holes’ as you say (so eloquent by the way) to defend ourselves against the lies and misinformation that lefties seem to be so good at.

    Remember Mandelson, Campbell, Watson, McBride? Nasty cowardly smearers who were (are) prepared to destroy the life of anyone who doesn’t toe the party line.

  60. 60
    George Osborne says:

    Just buying in some more suitcases

  61. 61
    Andy Burnhams Scythe Sharpening Service says:

    And me. I like it that much I may just go out and top a few more patients

  62. 62
    yeah, right... says:

    Given that huge parts of our legislation is laid down by the EU, and a lot of whats left has been devolved, it’s hard to see what they do all day for their £67k (plus very generous expenses, wonderful pensions and loads of free time for second jobs)

  63. 63
    Yvette Cooper Balls up says:

    I just did.

  64. 64
    It's 'is yuman rights, innit ??? says:

    Bloody Farce….forget about all the bollocks from Cameron about cracking down on Immigration.It seems that we can’t deport someone who is security risk. Better just get him a nice “pad” in Mayfair courtesy of the taxpayer with loads of benefits.It would be cheaper for us in the long run

  65. 65
    Edna in Clapham says:

    Well that’s what usually happens after 13 years of labour rule – the statistics will show you that as well.

    It took the Tories from 1979 to 1997 to sort out the mess created by the 70s debacle when labour had to go cap in hand to the IMF.

    What exactly are you trying to say Owen dear?

  66. 66
    old Shep says:

    Let back in out of what, It’s part of the EU as are we, or had you forgotten?.

  67. 67
    Rob says:

    My first reading, too

  68. 68
    Inverse logic says:

    So you are prepared to let imports freely come to this country, but are against a UK born and bred person coming back ?

    So I’m going to Benidorm for 2 weeks in July what is your policy, can I come back?

    Fascist fucker

  69. 69
    Toiilets and Co says:

    Toilets of the world unite

    Us last of the Chavs must stick together

    Chips on the shoulder and all

    Sky News will give me great coverage

  70. 70
    alexsandr says:


  71. 71
    Important Message from SIAC says:

  72. 72
    P l e b says:

    Has anyone done a FOI request to see if he’s being made a ‘special case’ with regard to the benefits he receives?

    Has anyone seen him at the Job Centre, for example?

  73. 73
    Despise much but hate little says:

    Owen Jones – try using your brain instead of resorting to propagandist charts and statistics all the time.

    Talk about dumbed down Britain!

  74. 74
    Toiilets and Co says:

    Vladimir will bail out all UK expats

    Along with the Russians

    He can repair all our washing machines at the same time

  75. 75
    P l e b says:

    When are we going to jail this fucker for inciting racial hatred?

  76. 76
  77. 77
    Andy Burnhams Scythe Sharpening Service says:

    He will be ideal in charge at Stafford

  78. 78
    Toiilets and Co says:

    Even better


  79. 79
    The Soft Southern Bastard says:

    No sign of a father accepting responsibility.

  80. 80
    old Shep says:

    End of message, now have to go and cash my Giro down at the post office courtesy of the infidel pigs!.

  81. 81
    Expat CHAV says:

    My toilets dont flush anymore

  82. 82
    You have a choice - Vote for Fallon or don't bother says:

    Don’t know what the electorate for Sevenoaks is – just know all of the votes are a waste!

  83. 83
    Expat CHAV says:

    One man

    Three postal votes

    Labour democracy

  84. 84
    Toilets and his chip says:

    I have tissues not issues

  85. 85
    Fishy says:

    No you couldn’t Diane

  86. 86
    Oleg Mandy and Co says:

    I have lost a huge deposit as well

  87. 87
    One Man One Vote says:

    Sevenoaks had 69,925 potentially casting a ballot in 2010, which is merely just over double the 33,755 voters which the MP from Shetland and Orkney has to butter up to stay in power. In 2010 a mere 19,346 turned out to exercise their votes in the Orkneys and Shetlands, and the MP was voted for by a tiny number of 11,989 people.

  88. 88
    Lord Anji Bolton, wannabe celeb says:

    You have enough chips to build a Gerkin

  89. 89
    South Shields Chav says:

    We want Kevin the Hacker

  90. 90
    Sunderland supporter says:

    We want Peckham in his Armani knickers

  91. 91
    Mirror Group Editorial Committee says:

    Get up there Toilets and make sure that you get elected.

    None of this New Labour, we don’t mind who gets filthy rich malarkey, mind you. We don’t want our readers to have aspirations and become independent of the state.

    Fuck me toilets, if they start getting jobs and a taste for prosperity, the bastards ‘ll be voting Tory and reading the Daily Mail. We don’t want our circulation, or the Labour vote destroyed, do we?

    Go on Toilets – make sure you keep these people in their place. Working class, one of us, that’s what they are.

  92. 92
    Max Clifford says:

    Labuour have become Guidoised

    They are good for the comedy

    How about a wannabe Jimmy Saville?

  93. 93
    Oh for gawds sake... says:

    Is it just me, or does that #KM4SS hashtag read easier as KissMyASS than KenimMaguireFor SouthShields…?

  94. 94
    Labour HQ says:

    Make sure you hack all the other candidates plese

    You are experts in this domain

  95. 95
    Wurzel says:

    The look of his evil mouth reminds me of a Rottweiler – Typical Labour material. God help us if they ever run the country again.

  96. 96
    Mrs Havissham says:

    You mean MPs shouldn’t have opinions? They should just like fill up their time going shopping – oh hang on……………..

  97. 97
    Jimmy says:

    Please, not even in jest.

  98. 98
    Old Nick says:

    Iblis is preparing a warm welcome for Abu Qatada – very warm, much warmer than the Jordanians in fact. In the old days, someone would have told their friends in Hereford to take him on a quick trip overseas….

  99. 99
    Splooge says:

    Toilets! Really?

    That could be fun.

  100. 100
    It is I LeClerc says:

    Do the opposite and you could look like Fatbott.

  101. 101
    Curly says:

    You can blame those wonderful straight honest (foreign) Limpdums for that. Treacherous two faced duplicitous bustards. I wouldn’t trust them to tell me the time of day.

  102. 102
    Curly says:

    Get some thick lefty harridan from the BBC news service. Then at least we would not have to watch her any more.

  103. 103
    A Haircare personage says:

    What a fucking god awful mess.

  104. 104
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    … but will probably need a few thousand more if Lord Lardass pops in for tea.

  105. 105
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    James – are you weakening????

  106. 106
    True Brit says:

    The only “implement” you need is the one I will behead you with.

  107. 107
    The Old Fella says:

    Is it my imagination but in the photo there isn’t there a likeness in the face between him and B’Liar

  108. 108
    John Bellingham says:

    You have hit on an interesting idea. The franchise should be restricted to people who have actually paid some income tax and made a tax return during the previous 12 months. That would eliminate the oligarchs, the scroungers, the heads of major corporations and 90% of immigrants.

  109. 109
    John Bellingham says:

    He could talk to his constituents without a translator.

  110. 110
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Mr Magoo’s got more chance of being elected.

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