March 26th, 2013

Tory Brain Drain as Labour Beef Up Attack

The cynics amongst you might think it’s an interesting time for CCHQ stalwart Nick Park to jump to the private sector.

The Tory head of research and attack crafter is off to energy giants Centrica.

The loss of the best part of decade’s experience is a blow for the Tories.

Meanwhile Labour are beefing up their attack team for the coming digital battle. Obama’s rapid rebuttal unit “backroom Brit” Matt McGregor:

“McGregor was responsible for the digital rapid response unit that attacked Mitt Romney relentlessly, ensuring that any statement by the Republican was picked over and rebutted, often within minutes or hours.”

Could get bloody…


  1. 1
    Matt McGregor says:


  2. 2
    Mr McGregors Cabbage patch says:

    Get orf moi land

  3. 3
    Chuka says:

    Some say I am the new Obama and I would not like to disagree.

  4. 4
    Centrica never misses a price increase says:

    We need a rapid response unit more than the Government

    After all, we are increasing prices on all those old age pensioners

  5. 5
    Judd says:

    Park? Never head of him. Just know that CCHQ couldn’t get their staff moving if the building was burning down.

    Time to short Centrica.

  6. 6
    It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it. says:

  7. 7
    CCHQ says:

    Will you join us please Guido?

    We will pay your more than the Sun

    For your reputation it would also be better than the setting Sun

    And we need your attack dog qualities in our omnishambles

  8. 8
    Dave Garthwaite says:

    Labour can spend all they like, with Miliband and Balls in place they look like a club of prize plonkers.

  9. 9
    Nothing like bent solicitors says:

    Go back to the tax avoidance solicitors you used to work for

    Remember, we are all in this together

    Except for those your old firm advises to avoid tax

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve got a two digit response to all of the LibLabCon f*ckers…

    V V
    V V
    V V

    Centrica are now obviously beefing up their rubuttal team for up and coming online comments about them ripping off the British Public in the coming ice age and defending obscene profit announcements.

  11. 11
    Mr McGregors Cabbage patch says:

    In your case emigration would make us stronger

  12. 12
    Self Interest says:

    Well you and Barry would say that. Wouldn’t you.

  13. 13
    Gold: +1%, Oil -.5%, Old fogies: +16% says:

    We’d better stock up on old aged pensioners now then.

  14. 14

    You too.

    Time to make Lynton Crosby a full timer

  15. 15
    Bent Solicitors Association says:

    We do not break the letter of the law

    We only break the spirit of the law

    Every day

    PS You should see what we organise for the gangster oligarchs

  16. 16
    Centrica Rebutttal Team says:

    How can you complain on-line when you have – NO FUCKING LECCY ?


  17. 17
    it's not me, it's my mate says:

    So one useless PR guy jumping ship, like Camoron he and his mates are just a waste of energy, maybe he’s going to be recharged.

  18. 18
    Duty Pedant says:


  19. 19
    Young Conservatives forever says:

    CCHQ if a matrimonial agency

    Remember that Sally Ally used to be one of our most distinguishd members

  20. 20
    MB. says:

    Interesting interview with William De’Ath on the Today programme this morning. He has been released with charge by the Operation Yewtree police team after being under arrest since last year over an allegation of something claimed to have happened 50 years ago. He has some very strong words to say about the police and their behaviour.

  21. 21
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Well, I quite like the idea of Labour having a Rabbit Rebuttal unit.

  22. 22
    MB. says:

    Sorry that should have been Wilfred De’Ath

  23. 23
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Abbott and her sort just like to divide and rule.

  24. 24
    Muhammed Ramadanadingdong says:

    Why is this Abbot woman not in kitchen cooking good meal for husband? Why this Abbot woman not wearing burqa as demanded by Alláh?

    Stone her! Stone her!

    And be givings me more benefits and bigger houses.

  25. 25
    Malcolm Redfellow says:

    Is that a Norwich City shirt I see before me?

  26. 26
    Conflicts of interest forever says:

    Like those useless civil servants in Downing Street

    Just waiting to jump ship to a criminal investment bank

  27. 27
    Vote UKIP -- Get rid of the LIBLABCONNERS says:

    It needs to get bloody.
    Labour left the economy in an appalling mess.
    Camoron’s LIBCONS have been in power for 3 years. They have pussyfooted around with pretend cuts.
    The Deficit last year was £120 bn, The Deficit this year will be £120 bn. The Deficit next year is budgetted to be £ 120 bn.
    Mr. Carney will soon be in the B of E. quantitatively easing our way to rampant inflation.
    But the Government still needs to balance the books FFS, even if it is using monopoly money.

    What the fuck is the point of this ineffective PC Coalition?

    Might as well let Labour back in to finish bankrupting the economy, then perhaps we can have a fresh start in 2020.

  28. 28
    it's not me, it's my mate says:

    If Guido goes so will his windowlickers only his charm and delightful smiles and high quality discussions keeps us here.

  29. 29
    Centrica says:

    Short Pensioners

  30. 30
    Handycock Immigrant Trafficker says:

    Right on Diane. Send them all to Portsmouth. We have taken more proportionately than any other city in the UK in the last ten years, and look what it has done for us – housing boom, my boys building the flats for them, laundering their drug profits as a result, them and me and a few bent councillors and council officers getting very rich and the grateful Liberal Democrat Party still solvent. No wonder Paddy and Nick can’t remember any complaints about me being a sexual predator. Boaz.

  31. 31
    jimmy says:

    Well immigration has ruined England.

    As it happens Obama and Abbott are both far too simple minded, even if both went to elite universities (I wonder if any special criteria was used??) – immigration can be a good or bad thing. Many Americans migrated to the US in the 20th century determined to assimilate, become Americans, learn English, uphold the ideals of freedom and capitalism. Today immigrants are far more likely to want to spread 1sl4m or get the free education and healthcare.

    For the history books at least it is good that morons like Abbott make their position, one which harms the English working class so badly, plain for all to see. It is probably too late to save the country now, though.

  32. 32
    Flush out the anti-Tories says:

    He looks like the wettest of wet rags

    He must be in favour of gay marriage as well

  33. 33
  34. 34
    Politics 101 says:

    The Labour Party. Trying to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

  35. 35
    No name to see if that passes the Mod says:

  36. 36
    Jimmy's Rightie Quote Of The Day says:

    “You’re rattled cos u know you’ve committed Hack Fuckup 101, basing article on wrong facts, I double dare u to call DfE”

    [@toryeducation continuing to fight for higher standards]

  37. 37
    No name to see if that passes the Mod says:


  38. 38
    HenryV says:

    If (when) Liebour get in next time how long before the wheels come off UK Plc? 12 months? Or 18 months? How long on average does it take before a government’s influence starts to show? What happens afterwards?

    In a way it may be a good thing if it finally pushes the English people into action to reclaim their country.

    Won’t be pretty.

  39. 39
    Moral Collapse Blair says:

    Short Sterling like my bank is doing

    Nothing like shorting the home side for which I was responsible

  40. 40
    Prize Plonkers' Club says:

    Oi, do you mind? Those clowns are nothing to do with us.

  41. 41
    A Rifkind says:

    Read all about it

    I am behind a high paywall installed by the Murdoch Mob

  42. 42
    Emily Thornberry's speaking bathroom scales says:

    Hello, is that the abuse hotline?

  43. 43
    Called to the Bar says:

    Any News on “Handy*cocks” secret pre trial hearing in Portsmouth today ?

  44. 44
    EU Watch says:

    Just to reinforce point that bank deposits are far from safe in EU banks, irrespective of ‘insurance':

  45. 45
    Hugh Janus says:

    And ‘without charge’ perhaps….

  46. 46
    Synic says:

    We’re still waiting for the IPCC report on the killing of Duggan by Police on the streets of London.

    Don’t forget our plods are the best in the world. Ha fucking ha.

  47. 47
    Yankee Go Home says:

    Is he offering to take the millions of illegal immigrants being hidden in the UK by the ‘legal’ immigrant populations and all of the Romanians and Bulgarians who are planning to come here next year?

  48. 48
    UK Treasury spinner says:

    The wheels are alredy coming off

    S&P Moodys Fitch


  49. 49
    Abbottabad says:

    That must be why they have that giant electrified fence on the border with Mexico.

    Controlled Obama immigration in a large country: YES

    Uncontrolled Labour immigration in already dense population: NEVER AGAIN

  50. 50
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    I can’t believe Abbott went to an elite university. She is as thick as pig shit.

  51. 51
    Diane Abbotapotamus speaking bariatric bathroom scales says:


  52. 52
    Herman Achille Van Rompuy says:

    Please form an orderly queue for financial processing.

  53. 53
    Russian oligarch not yet topped says:


    They have rumbled us

    But London is still the unregulated laundromat of the world

    Long live London


  54. 54
    Simples says:

    Ipad/Iphone etc.

  55. 55
    Dopey Dave Cameron says:

    It is outrageous that so few BME (see, I use the new Guardian trendy term) students are at Oxbridge. So they have to bring in more or we’ll introduce quotas. I am a modern man.

  56. 56
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Not heard a thing lately from labour’s Mary Creagh over the horse meat scandal. Poor thing failed to make a name for herself, although I can think of a few.

  57. 57
    A Firm Pair Of Breasts says:

    ‘rabbit rebuttal’?

  58. 58
    Nick Clegg says:

    It’s very important that Britain joins the euro, and anyone who says otherwise is a thick, bitter, nasty bígot.

  59. 59
    I'll have some of that says:

    It worked for Michael Howard…….

  60. 60
    English democrat says:

    Send all the Jocks home to start with

    Starting with Maximum Imbecile

    And all those tribal MPs

    They have wrecked Britain

  61. 61
    The gene pool could use a little chlorine says:

    We can do without lowlife scum line Duggan.

  62. 62
    Ed Ballsup says:

    The solution to our debt problem is, obviously, to borrow far far more money than Osborne’s doing now.

    It’s also obvious that far heavier debt with improve our credit rating.


  63. 63
    Sally Bercowitz says:

    Hey. Can I try that?

  64. 64
    fred flintstone says:

    Er, and they don’t need recharging then?

  65. 65
    Sir Dando Tweakeshafte says:

    It’s not the Bulgarians next year that should trouble us, but the Cypriots next month.

  66. 66
    London banker (who has bought a British passport) says:

    I think we should join the rouble zone

    Much better long term bet

    And we can fiddle all that cash in the meantime

    and pay ourselves huge illegal bonuses offshore

    Especially since Cyprus has just gone down

  67. 67
    Londoner says:

    I do not want to see my country ruined so that arseholes can score party polticial points. It is encumbant on the coalition government to getb their act together to ensure that the Labour Party is kept out of office. They can do this by running the country properly, reforming the electoral boundaries to bring back some meaning to the idea of ‘one man one vote’ and by banning postal votes.

  68. 68
    the criminally insane says:

    Well the clowns have really done it this time, everybody in the EU will be withdrawing all their money or just keeping minimum deposits in Banks for convenience, not as if the returns justify the risk is it?.

  69. 69
    Jimmy says:

    Worked even better for Tony

  70. 70
    Loopy Lou says:

    When are we going to be told the truth about the horse meat ?

    No sighting of Owen Patterson for close on two months now .

  71. 71
    Abbottabad says:

    Good riddance. A baboon could do a better job than this guy.

    Centrica? Haha

  72. 72
    Patriot says:

    I want the government to join pound land.

  73. 73
    Anonymous says:

    Hahahahaha, America, THE original country of immigrants, hated by the left for capitalist, global empire building. That just demonstrates lefty joined up thinking, fucking tossers.

  74. 74
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    He is being exported all over the EU. Probably end up in Ireland.

  75. 75
    I don't believe I'm saying this says:

    I hear he has been put out to pasture.

  76. 76
    Green Technology Consultant says:

    Stcik a wire in your mouth and flap your arms in a circle

  77. 77
    whoever is tired of tescos is tired of life says:

    Make that horseshit.

  78. 78
    BMW's are ten a penny these days! says:

    More like a “Rabid” Response Team!

  79. 79
    Obamamessiah says:

    We’re all immigrants. All people everywhere are immigrants – because one day hundreds of years ago somebody cam there. So there is no such thing as a society. Because it makes no difference if you’re part of a small group who came 150 years ago who then became Americans or if you’re one of 10 million illegal immigrants from Mexico determined not to assimilate. Strangely enough hit13r had the same feelings – society is all about bloodlines not culture – guess he was right about that one thing.

    Yes – some people moving to the US a century ago, forming a settled society where everyone assimilated and paid their own way is exactly the same as 3 millions unemployed bulgarians moving to UK to get free healthcare, housing, education.

    Trust me, it’s nothing to do with me wanting to break up traditional society and cultures where people are self-reliant and patriotic. No, no, I wouldn’t do that. I did see new labour did it to rub your noses in it, but me, I’m a nice guy.

  80. 80
    Immigration Expert says:

    A drop in the ocean compared to the hundreds of thousands who are already in the country and who were hidden from the last census by their ‘law-abiding’ ‘legal’ immigrant families. I’d not be at all surprised if there are a couple of million.

  81. 81
    T May says:

    Yankee Go Home

  82. 82
    Gonk III says:

    Excellent. Credit boom bubble, 100 million population, fractured Nation State implodes, ungovernable, no bees, no trees, big fees.

  83. 83
    I can't believe I once voted Lib Dem says:

    it is very important that you fuck off to Holland or Spain. Your loyalties are obviously not to the people of this country.

  84. 84
    Just filth, pure filth says:

    Those ‘obscene’ profits you refer to are built into end user cost, thanks to government renewables policy.

    For instance, the French are going to build two new nuclear power generators in the west country, as part of the deal, they will be allowed to charge double the amount they normally charge.
    To make wind and solar power look economically, more competitive than they actually are and ‘green energy’ more attractive than it really is.
    The LabLibCon gang all agree this is the way to go, to hell with the poor, old and vulnerable.

  85. 85
    Gordon Mcmentalism says:

    Everything worked better for Tony, even his poo doesn’t smell of shit.

  86. 86
    Fishy says:

    Why do Marxist Labour need a rapid rebuttal unit?

    They’ve got the BBC

  87. 87
    life on uranus says:

    You really don’t ‘get’ the internet, do you Jimmy? We no longer make dodgy deals in smokey backrooms with beer and sandwiches either, thank fuck.

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    How about investigation of the register of voters. I really would like to vote but they just will not do their job.

  89. 89
    iron curtain, keep people in, keep information out says:

    Lefties can never risk any alternative view being aired or discussed. It’s always been their way since the Soviet Republic.

  90. 90
    Wyle Cop says:

    Head of the “Digital Rapid Response Unit”.

    Well, with jobs like that, that’s the UK economy safe’n’sound.

    Ye fecking G0ds.

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    Clegg unfortunately reflects the age we live in, a bland mix fuck all.

  92. 92
    Merkel says:

    But to be fair, unlike nasty white women she will go to the wall for her kids.

  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

    That’s because most of them are of much use as a chocolate dildo.

  94. 94
    Anonymous says:

    Try looking at the US employment law and the years it takes to be allowed to do certain jobs. The whole concept of the “competitive civil service” precludes most taking on those jobs until after another career.

    I just wish the same restrictions (including deportation) applied here and then the comparison of immigration would have some relevance.

  95. 95
    Residing in 96.95% white Merseyside says:

    Are Russian banks reliable as safe havens?

  96. 96
    Village Idiot says:

    As labour admitted it got it wrong on immigration,and, that it was a mistake,
    how do labour intend to rectify their admitted mistake,as the only way is to reverse every decision on immigration during their tenure,and start the repatriations……..

  97. 97
    Geordieboy says:

    Labour are fucked. The coalition is fucked. Cyprus is fucked. The EU is fucked, in fact we are all fucked.

  98. 98
    Greek Cypriot cook says:

    Bullshit in

    Bullsit patties out

    Good for the digestion

  99. 99
    Historian of our times says:

    Labour leaders only have one objective

    To become filthy rich

    By selling their souls to the nearest devil

    Just look at Blair and Mandelson to start with

    And all the other Taxis for Hire

    And Banana Milliband already running around the world as a Super Taxi for hire

    Continuing the tradition

    Not an honest one among them

  100. 100

    You missed one. Camoron is fucked.

  101. 101
    The Puppet Master says:

    ”digital rapid response unit ”

    These clowns are still following the playbook I helped write a decade ago chapter and verse.

    How utterly predictable, It’s like being Simon Peter or James watching Paul.

  102. 102
    The Puppet Master says:

    ”digital rapid response unit ”

    These clowns are still following the playbook I helped write a decade ago chapter and verse.

    How utterly predictable, It’s like being Simon Peter or James watching Saul.

  103. 103
    Tosspot says:

    OK, so when are we going to outsource MP’s / Parliament to America and really save some money

  104. 104
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    She looked totally and utterly lost sitting on the front bench today trying to understand what the Minister was explaining to her. Mybe she was thinking of a nice banana flambe for dinner…

  105. 105
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    Are they all going to be recharged with fiddling their expenses??

  106. 106
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    Shurely they meant BEFORE treatment? Like any other country in the world. In countries I have visited they won’t even acknowledge you until you produce your credit card at the front desk where they will provisionally deduct a substantial sum to cover “eventualities”. If you get in and out with costs under their original figure, they tear up the original receipt and charge the actual correct figure. So WTF can’t we do that here too?

  107. 107
    Scottish Returning Officer says:

    What’s a register? Never heard of it.

  108. 108
    Matilda says:

    But foreigners of any sort should never be allowed anywhere near the levers of power in the UK. Their loyalties and motives will always be questionable.

  109. 109
    Matilda says:

    Oddly enough there are plenty of folk who would prefer to see this island as the 51st (or is it 52nd now?) State of the US of A rather than being in the corrupt and venal EU – even with halfbreed clowns like Obarmy in charge.

  110. 110

    The next election will be won on Twatter or Faceblock!!

  111. 111
    K Washiorkor says:

    “Immigration keeps us hungry”


    Yes, you’re probably right, Barry.

  112. 112
    JH3824092384023 says:

    She is very, very dim. She has a line in chit-chat polished on her stint with Portillo, but there is a big difference between practiced, hackneyed (haha) cunning and genuine wisdom.

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