Rejoice, comrades! This lunchtime Guido infiltrated the Unite headquarters to run the rule over the People’s Assembly, Owen Jones’ new sinister sounding union-funded anti-cuts campaign. Under the watchful eye of Keir Hardie in a rather austere room, a panel of NUT “Enemies of Promise”, PCS strike-mongers, loony left MPs and a bad comedian bleated about “the cuts”. Former SWP luvvie Mark Steel’s awkward jokes fell flat and Labour foghorn Katy Clark did her best to contain herself over Liam Byrne consorting with the enemy. Ironic that as the panel discussed the need for a united left to stand together, Blairite refusenik Dan Hodges pointed out two different hard left factions have launched on the same day. The workers, united, will never be defeated…

Faced with Guido’s austerity facts at today’s presser, Owen refreshingly slammed the government for borrowing too much:

“To quote that bastion of socialism, the Standard and Poor credit agency… fiscal ‘austerity’ risks being self-defeating. You’re quite correct. This government risks borrowing over £200 billion more than projected, the underlying deficit is 11% higher than a year ago.”

When even Owen Jones thinks you’re borrowing too much, you know you have a problem…