March 24th, 2013

Read Guido’s Column in The Sun Today

There are eleven Guido stories in today’s Sun column. You can find out:

  • How have the Have I Got News for You team been trying to convince Jacob Rees-Mogg to come on the show?
  • How did Chuka celebrate St Patrick’s Day?
  • Gordon finds a friend down under.
  • Speculation of another Tory-LibDem by-election battle is growing.
  • Chris Huhne’s SpAd wreaks revenge.
  • Watson tries to land a punch on Gove.
  • Why we could be seeing a lot more of Alastair Campbell’s wife.
  • Why has Nigel Farage told aides he is never to be left alone with one attractive activist?

All this and more in your 50p Sun.


  1. 1
    Oy Vey says:

    Sell out

  2. 2
    X Star says:

    I s’pose the Sun is a Star.

  3. 3
  4. 4
    Eddie's Nightmare. The kiss of death from Abbott says:

  5. 5
    Dick Feelar says:

    50p???? I’d go on about how the cost of toilet paper is getting outrageous, but I just want to put the whole thing behind me.

  6. 6
    81lly Kebab says:

    I forgot about you changing and purchased the Star by mistake

  7. 7
    81lly Kebab says:

    That is really really funny

  8. 8
    The Eric says:

    The Sun is to the Star as Eric is to the man.

  9. 9
    Bulldog says:

    Funny? You need to get out more…though, maybe that’s not a good idea.

  10. 10
    Superintendent Parrot says:

    Southern voters are very fond of their Cockroach Cluster.


    Excuse me. Gotta go …..

  11. 11
    V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

    Welcome to the UK cesspit, toilet to the world. I’m feeling really enriched today in the celebrated multicultural shithouse.

  12. 12
    Marcus Brigstocke says:

    I found out my wife was a closet Tory and read the Daily Mail. What can I say?

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Toilet humour is big on here.

  14. 14
    Tory Tim says:

  15. 15
    Residing in 96.96% white Merseyside says:

    Very few of us read the Sun up here.

    And looking at today’s headline glad I don’t.

  16. 16
    Residing in 96.96% white Merseyside says:

    Why don’t you try living in the Falklands Islands?

    You can still be as British as you like.

  17. 17
    Mayor of Lomdon says:

    Speaking of which….

    (_!_) a regular ass (__!__) a fat ass (!) a tight ass (_._) a flat ass

    (_^^_) a bubble ass (_*_) a sore ass (_!__) a lop-sided ass

    {_!_} a swishy ass (_o_) an ass that’s been around

    (_O_) an ass that’s been around even more (_x_) kiss my ass

    (_X_) leave my ass alone (_zzz_) a tired ass (_o^^o_) a wise ass

    (_E=3Dmc2_) a smart ass (_13_) an unlucky ass ( _7_) lucky ass

    (_$_) Money coming out of his ass (_?_) Dumb Ass

  18. 18
    V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

    No, this multicultural paradise is so wonderful according to the political class cockroaches that I have to stay and be enriched. It’s a shame I can’t go back in time and tell my soldier ancestors, who died in the wars, how wonderful our Country is now.

  19. 19
    Dudette says:

    Sometimes actions….speak louder than words…..

  20. 20
    damned impertinent questions says:

  21. 21
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    You cannot believe a word you read in the Press and Leveson is a complete load of old bollocks.

    I read in the press a few months ago about that little French unmarried father of four Catholic Socialist saying the worst of the Euro crisis was behind us.

    Well this morning I find myself sat on the balcony of my Cypriot holiday hotel not knowing what to believe .

    The British Government is now saying it is best to go round with loads of Euro Bank notes which in case they have not heard are now in pretty scarce supply.

    They are also saying I should be careful if I go out because there is a strong possibility I am going to be mugged .

    Thank you so much politicians everywhere.

  22. 22
    Jaws says:

    “Chris Huhne’s SpAd wreaks revenge” – looks interesting.
    Is there a Blog on line where I can read this story?

  23. 23
    Fox & Werritty Consultants says:

    We really think there should be a statement from the PMs office this afternoon .

    If there is no satisfactory resolution to the Cyprus question then how are we going to be able to institute any military intervention without an aircraft carrier ?

  24. 24
    long John Silver's parrot says:

    Was he having sex with her too ?

  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

    Then again, it was aimed at The Sun ‘newspaper’.

  26. 26
    Anonymous says:

    We will soon have a super-power aircraft carrier – but it will not have any aircraft to fly from it. Should have kept the Jump-Jets?

  27. 27
  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    British, Russian, US and other soldiers went to war, against Nazi Germany, to save Britain from the likes of you and your racist remarks.

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    What is a Spad?

  30. 30
    Shrove Tuesday says:

    I was rolled on by Cyril Smith and was never the same again.

  31. 31
    Residing in 96.96% white Merseyside says:

    Shaggable personal adviser.

  32. 32
    Dick Thrower says:

    Someone who should be given the shove

  33. 33
    81lly Kebab says:

    Actually that is bollocks – have you send the circulation figures

  34. 34
    V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

    Oh, so you are enjoying being enriched as well and I’m sure your close neighbours are from ethnic backgrounds and not sponging off the state.

  35. 35
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Just have Drones, why have piloted planes.

  36. 36
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    There was never a problem when Cyprus had the cyprus pound.
    It seems the euro and religion have much in common, both cause too many conflicts.

  37. 37
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    A bit like one of your farts Abbott.

  38. 38
    Jaws says:

    I think its prison slang for a cell for conjugal rights.
    Spad – noun. Sex Pad.

  39. 39
    Wurzel says:

    It is obviously a contractual obligation at the Boys Bum Club.

  40. 40
    Sam says:

    sPad. Its like an iPad, only cheaper.

  41. 41
  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    LOL. I could do with one of those.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    With your vile and vicious remarks, were you ever to get in power, they would have died in vain. For what kind of nasty mean-mined and hateful place do the likes of you want our country to become?

  44. 44
    V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

    I just want my Country to be as it was, not the world’s toilet as you want it to be. I did not have a say in in changing my Country it was imposed on me by scum like you.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    So we did not need to spend billions on pointless aircraft carriers?

  46. 46
    Jane says:

    Aircraft carriers usually have square ends.
    Ah ! But if Gordon commissioned them …..

  47. 47
    Jimmy's Quiz Answers says:

    1. Offered to broadcast in dinner jackets and in black and white;
    2. Turned out for his local rugby team but stopped playing after an hour;
    3. Skippy the bush kangaroo;
    4. PM decides to resign and replace Gary Barlow on the X Factor;
    5. He’s taking points off his licence by reversing past speed cameras;
    6. Unfortunately he aimed for where the chin should be;
    7. Fiona is the newest member of the Guido team;
    8. He prefers threesomes.

  48. 48
    Fuck Censorship says:

    Talking of Leveson, Osborne has now been described in the press as “hideous”.
    As in “the hideous Osborne” is this fact, fair comment or slagging off?

  49. 49
    Casual Observer says:

    To buy Scottish votes for the fucking Liebour party. Simples.

  50. 50
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    The Houses of Parliament are full of drones. Must be a few to spare that we can use for the front line.

  51. 51
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    I see your favourite ref made headlines the other day by declaring a runner out for impeding the flight of the ball being returned to the keeper. Bad show. Does he think batpersons have eyes in the back of their heads?

  52. 52
    The Kenyan President says:

    I’m the one who gets to push all the buttons.
    The one that makes Ed Bollocks’ eyes blink is getting a bit worn out and the buttons for Ed Milipede often get stuck.

  53. 53
    damned impertinent questions says:

    He prefers threesomes.

    Who doesnt?

  54. 54
    (I don't need no doctor) says:


  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    You are showing your true colours – V1le, Vicious, Racist.

  56. 56
    Diversity’s the name, f-nick cleasning’s the game says:

    I know this may came as a complete shock to mass immigration enthusiasts, but I think you’ll find that most of the British soldiers in WWII were fighting to preserve Britain and British way of life – the very way of life you have been busying demolishing for 50 years.

    Don’t think many of them were fighting for ‘diversity’, ‘enrichment’ or for their descendants to become a minority in their own country.

  57. 57
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill says:

    Car crash TV was watching Burnham in Westminster trying to say Labour as a government are sorry and yes him too for what happened in Stafford Hospital. And Huhne admitting his guilt. I don’t think Boris is right on many things but he was hardly crucified this holy week.

  58. 58
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill says:

    Learn to speak social housing estate. Entertainment for all the (_Labour_) Party.

  59. 59
    BBC policy guru says:

    See our experts’ Wiktionary entry: Spad
    1. A Special advisor, often to a minister of state. cf Oxford ED; Websters
    archaic, increasingly rare.

    2. A ministerial politico-administrativese speaking investigator into dark passages of Whitehall’s chicanery initially recruited as a personal escort

  60. 60

    Hooray! Anonymong is playing the “waycist” card because he’s losing the argument. Didn’t see that one coming (NOT!)

    Classic Alinsky tactic. Play the man not the argument. It’s people like anonymong that have made this country into the hell hole it’s become.

    A question for Anonymong. After fifty years of increasing immigration into this country, and the imposition of “multiculturalism” in our society, can you honestly say the current population have a common set of values and ambitions that hold a nation together- or is society fractured, being composed of special interest groups of various ethnicities all fighting to compete for supremacy and what they consider to be their share of the national pie?

  61. 61
    Lewis says:

    Someone moved my garage after I went out for a drive today. Got funny looks when I nipped home to change my boots. The car seemed a bit weird too. Strange times.

  62. 62
    V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

    I think anonymong is probably a welfare addict that we’re all overtaxed to pay for.

  63. 63
    Nigel Farage says:

    Oh fuck, how did that get out?

  64. 64
    Wurzel Gummage says:

    Easy, we hacked your phones you perve!

  65. 65
    Nigel Farage says:

    Does that mean you also know about the calls to the porn lines? Bugger!

  66. 66
    Simon Heffer says:

    It’s out now, Farage. Might as well come clean. Tissues at the ready. We can throw in a weekly column in ShiteMinds.

  67. 67
    Peter Hitchens says:

    Another columnist?? Heffer you c_u-n-t. You promised me top billing! You arse!

  68. 68
    Eddie Mair, Puff of Smoke says:

    I’m guilding my loins after that fantastico performance against Boris. Don’t be so churlish, Peter. Not everyone has my midas touch for interviewing.

  69. 69
    Peter Hitchens says:

    There’s puffery and then there’s mere puff.

  70. 70
    he savant10.4 highway patrol says:


    Doton Adebayou BBC Radio Five Dead presenter of the red eye night shift
    ” Up All Night ” to Reporter calling in from Central Africa at 4.21 today ;

    Doton :” So we re talking about the Central African Republic… whereabouts is that … Central; Africa I suppose ? ”

    Reporter ( with condescension oozing from her every verbal pore ) ” Well er yes I suppose you could safely say that Doton …. ”

    He certainly wasn t ” UP ” all night — at least not mentally …

  71. 71
    Bob Zimmerman says:

    Should’ve gone to

  72. 72
    Mark Skid says:

    Filth like you have ruined my country. You and the rest of your marxist fellow travelers should be used as lampost ornaments.

  73. 73
    Anonynonymouse says:

    We were (and are) lied to over the conditions and benefits of EU entry and membership.

    We were NEVER consulted over immigration and the changes to our country that this would bring e.g multiculturism and the resultant break up of a coherent British society.

    The Govt continues to deceive the electorate and mortgage the next generation by not having a balanced budget. etc etc.

    UKIP is right we need to see an end to professional politicians who have never worked in a major role outside the political system.

    The EU continues to be anti democratic. Cypriot MPs should consult their electorate and have a vote to accept or reject the EU settlement.

    If this results in leaving the Euro then German Banks should take the greatest haircut. After all Cypriot Banks were encouraged to be good Europeans and lend to Greece and other “needy” EU countries. This resulted in large haircuts for Cypriot Banks when those countries needed a bail out, German Banks appeared to be haircut exempt, and placed the Cypriot Banks in the position they are in now. There is also a degree of financial jealousy from the rest of the EU that Cyprus could steal business away as a so called tax haven and that they had the impudence to have lower business taxes than most of the EU.

  74. 74
    Anonymous says:

    After a long history multiculturalism, we have always found ways to live together – until hateful persons decided to play the race card. As for this being a “hell hole”, perhaps Germans should have win in 1940? Would not the likes of you be happy living in such a State?

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Special interest groups, such as Bankers and Starbucks, all fighting to compete for supremacy and what they consider to be their share of the national pie. And trying to find ways to avoid tax.

Media Reader

London Live to Cut 20 Staff to Buy in More Content | Press Gazette
Telegraph Revealed Auschwitz 3 Years Before Liberation | Telegraph
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
We Must Not Call Charlie Hebdo Killers ‘terrorists’ | Telegraph
Page 3 and the Art of the Self-Pity Statement | Guardian
Here is What a 7 Way Debate Sounds Like | BBC
Poll: Sun Readers Want Page 3 to Stay | Business Insider
The Sun: An Apology | Press Gazette
More Women Prosecuted For Telly Tax | Mail
Je Suis Page 3 | Toby Young

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers