March 20th, 2013

It’s Budget Day

Quite a day for Osborne to join Digital Dave:

Five minutes in and he’s already on the receiving end.

They’re calling it the Twitter budget…

UPDATE: Right on cue, unemployment is up by 7,000 this morning. Youth unemployment is up 48,000, though employment is also up by 131,000 and the number of JSA claimants is slightly down. Happy budget day…


  1. 1
    More of the same says:

    The Twit Budget, more like


    • 11
      Tired Taxpayer says:

      Re-twat more like.

      Osborne is set to push his deficit reduction target even further into the future. He should stop dithering and SLASH the public sector and FIRE incompetent slackers across government.


      • 17
        Pawn Sandwich says:

        Or even reduce the pay of public sector workers by 10% or 20% dependent upon their earnings.


        • 23
          Palab Gauche says:

          Exactly. Let’s see how many leave for jobs in the private sector. Most will stay put because they get fat pensions and long holidays and no matter how useless they are they never get fired.


          • Pawn Sandwich says:

            Public sector workers should pay for their own pensions as well.

            Increase their retirement age to that in line with the state pension.

            Are you listening George? Your deficit reduction problems have just been solved.


          • Anonymous says:

            1) Departments has less staff so why doesn’t this government cut number of minister and save on ministerial salary.

            2) Cut benefits and cut taxes and save on admin cost. Billions can be saved.

            3) Councils, merge council so billions can be saved on admin and council tax can be cut.

            4) Privatise services that are not essential for the public need. Let users pay for it.


          • George Osborne says:

            When we said only 13,000 Bulgarians and Romanians would come into Britain we of course meant just 13,000 gorgeous dusky-skinned rentboys for the nonce elites, and 13,000,000 gypos for the cultural enrichment of the working class plebs.


          • Anonymous says:

            Brown was clever he used that to give more money to the people who will vote for his party.

            Osborne is an idiot, he is increasing the tax burden on people who voted for his party. Only once he is giving tax cuts to are very rich people like himself, his family and friends. This is why middle classes and hard working poor are moving to UKIP.


          • Watch and Weep says:

            Watched “Motorway Cops” episode about “cable theft” and the fact that it is costing the country millions….the two gangs they stopped were all Rumanian and couldn’t speak a word of English…after much exciting footage of car chases, scrambling of the force chopper and “you’re Nicked my son” type dialogue all the fuckers were released without charge and immediately buggered off to nick more cable



        • 87
          The Old Fella says:

          What about reducing mps and ministers salaries, pensions, and expenses that would do for a start, if the lower ranks see the ministers and mps actually feeling the pain, they maybe more amenable to their salaries being reduced. Mps who in London what right have they to claim a second home (subsidised) if they live within 11/2 hours travelling time, if they say “if we have a late sitting we cannot get home”, it would concentrate their tiny minds and get the business of the day done, no excuses. Cut the use of ministerial cars, get rid of the subsidised wine and spirit cellar (it only causes fights when they have too much). cut the grace and favour houses for ministers some have more than one. The choices could go on and on they fight like crazy to get into parliament so no good saying they wouldn’t get the right sorts of people because of the lower pay, am I a hard task master, no, fair is fair, or are some a lot more privilege than others


          • Lynn Featherbrain says:

            All very reasonable, but you miss the point about the political class, who care only about maintaining their own positions of luxury and power. They shit on the electorate without a moment’s thought, over and over again, and yet still we (collectively) tolerate them.

            Piano wire, lamp-post, some assembly required.


          • Get The Cranberry Sauce says:

            I agree but do turkeys vote for Christmas?

            Look at the people of Kirkcaldy, surely the most stupid of the British Isles as they vote for Gordon Brown to sabotage the economy and now he hardly even shows up for work. If these ignorant people can’t be bothered, nothing will change.


          • Anonymous says:

            We have devolved government, so what is the point on Sectary of States and ministers for Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland?


          • The Old Fella says:

            The trouble with the Kirkcaldy electorate they are tribal Liebore, if it wears a red rosette on election day it gets in, the same goes for Con constituencies that are tribal and a much less the LimpyDems. there are far too few marginal constituencies in the UK so you get the practice of parachuting in of party apparatchiks for party headquarters even the local parties have no choice if they are “safe seats”


        • 113
          Anonymous says:

          Public sector suffers from poor standard of workers and especially management. These people start at the bottom and over their career move up the chain. They get absolutely no exposure to how real industry is run, or even the activities of neighbouring public institutions. There is no reward for success or any way to remove the militant, or idle, dross.

          Yet some stay because they care. Some just want to help. Think about the real nurse that is disgusted by the NHS, yet stay knowing that if they leave more will die unnecessarily. The public sector has a vast amount of able caring people. Sadly it has others too. In one department the work throughput by two equal able bodied persons is different by a factor of about 10. Why do they employ both on the same wage?

          So please never talk about a universal cut. That will make sure the management is selected from the dross. The public sector just needs a way to reassign individual workers to lower pay, when they clearly cannot do a job. Look at the stress sick leave to work out who should be reallocated. Also stop all early pension and payoff agreements. If there is meant to be no silencing of whistle-blowers then no pay-outs are needed. Targeted cut backs are needed to force through the purging of the waste.


          • Anon2 says:

            Agree, particularly regarding the quality of management. Some of the worst aspects of human nature seem to be quite advantageous in the promotion stakes.


    • 13
      Jane Fryer is taken by the Mogg's Throbbing B*+^$ says:

      “Unlike David Cameron, I’d love him and his throbbing brain to be in the Cabinet. In fact, forget that — Jacob Rees-Mogg for Prime Minister!”


    • 136
      lojolondon says:

      Again, on budget day particularly, the Tories will pay the price for ‘cast-iron Dave’s’ failure to reign-in the Biased BBC.

      There is incessant criticizing of Osborne’s every action, and a concerted, determined effort to force him to u-turn on any minor point, this time it will be the ‘Wife stay at home tax”. Not saying Osborne is perfect, but his job has been 100 times harder than Crash Gordon, who’s main activity was to waste all the money earned and saved during the previous 18 years, and who raped our pensions and sold our gold off during the boom days. To ‘no comment’ from the biased media.


  2. 2
    Labourunionsbbc are one under the EU says:

    What was it Dave said about twitter?


    • 138
      Fishy says:

      He’s trending at about 20 tweets a second, all of them libelous and abusive.

      By my reckoning the last 2 seconds worth, under Hacked Off’s new media control laws, are worth around £15m in damages.


  3. 3
    Poddington Pea says:

    what a twit


    • 82
      Vince says:

      I clearly remember our budgie. We called it Jeremy or Paddy or something. Liked a cuttlefish. Or was it a peanut?

      Think I’m definitely not a twitcher.


  4. 4
    Frankie Howerd says:

    twitter ye not


  5. 7
    Cheese Mongrel says:

    Work hard and get on?

    I doubt it. More people sucked into the 40% bracket whilst the wage bill for the public sector slackers is higher than ever before because they keep getting brass-plated pay rises and fat pensions.

    I’ll only believe him when he announces 10% of incompetent civil servants will be fired overnight and he stops taxing everything that moves, from people to hot pasties.

    Still, as pointless as this budget is, it’s not the lunatic debt splurge Ed Balls wants to inflict


    • 50
      Lord Stansted says:

      I think it was Harold Macmillan who said that it’s not jobs people need but an income stream. With benefits, they’ve got it – only an idiot would work.


    • 51
      Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler says:

      Gordon Brown has given a very good reason for his limited appearances in the Commons. He has been searching for magic money trees in the Forest of Make Believe.


      • 96
        It'll All End in Tears says:

        Osborne found it, it’s called Quantitative Easing and he keeps shaking the branches to print million and billions.

        Look to Cyrpus where politicians are looting money out of people’s bank accounts to pay for banking and regulatory failures.


        • 131
          Old git says:

          As opposed to here where interest rates are less than the rate of inflation so savers are being looted by the government.


  6. 8
    Small Business says:

    So he’ll be halving VAT?


    • 19
      Former voter says:

      Yes. And he’ll be cutting fuel duty. This will be funded by reducing foreign aid to £0.

      He’s also going to stop giving the EU £19.2billion every year.

      Well, he did write, “I’ll present a Budget that tackles the economy’s problems head on”



    • 29
      Execute Every Last Mother Fucking One of Them says:

      More like doubling it


  7. 9
    Anonymous says:

    What does this bell end know about hard work? As to getting on think it’s been pretty much handed to him so far. We need a Tory party that is lead by the aspiring middle class not the arse end of the upper class. Wanker


    • 27
      Palab Gauche says:

      He’s the same as Ed Miliband, David Cameron and Rick Clegg, they’ve worked in politics almost all their lives.


    • 40
      Labourunionsbbc are one under the EU says:

      Interesting to see how the class thing pushed by laybore, the Bbbc, the unions et al, comes out in these posts.

      It literarily all they’ve got left. (pun intended)


  8. 10
    Owen Jones says:

    Ooo am I the first?


  9. 12
    Polly Toynbee says:

    Can we please not forget that the poor bastard is still trying to clear up just about the worst mess that any labour ‘government’ has ever made!

    Furthermore I will give 1,000 squid to anyone who can name ANY Labour government who left power with a good economic record. They have a 100% record of fuckkin up the economy so that is a VERY safe bet!!!!


  10. 14
    Soapy says:


    • 25
      Top Gear says:

      I was amazed to find those sweepers (the little ones) cost around 50 grand. Don’t tell the Chavs.


      • 32
        Palab Gauche says:

        More public sector waste. A broom and a wheelbarrow would save money but no, these people have to piss money up the wall on fancy toys with heated cabins and custom paint jobs. I’m surprised they don’t have alloy wheels just to waste even more money.


        • 43
          Labourunionsbbc are one under the EU says:

          The funniest part is all these operatives have work related mobile phones.


          • Simon Hefferlump says:

            For fark’s sake.

            And we wonder why our taxes are so high. Why do these people need all these gadgets?

            Fire them and sell their machinery to the French who love wasting even more money on bloated public sector. Get some hungry Romanians in on minimum wage, tool them with brooms and bin bags.

            Imagine if we could do this across the public sector, we’d save billions.


        • 59
          JH3824092384023 says:

          They do look alloy in that pic.

          I suppose we should be grateful they aren’t chrome spinners.


      • 60
        Lord Stansted says:

        And they don’t firkin work. I’ve usually have to sweep the road outside my house after they go past.


    • 36
      Mitch says:

      Erm Sophy – those vans move around; that’s how they work…yeah?


    • 49
      Slime Ball says:

      I reckon the Drain cleaning attachment should have a blow button, 1000 gallons of London’s street drains would disperse any crowd.


      • 53
        John Humphreys says:

        What the hell are they doing cleaning in the morning?
        Don’t they know important people are trying to sleep.


  11. 15
    High Dudgeon says:

    I suspect this is a “managed account” and we taxpayers are paying for some slimey SpAD and his smartphone bill to manage this guff.


  12. 20
    Dr Oein Clerk says:

    Hehe, this will have all those leftie whingers frothing at the mouth.


    • 28
      The Starbucks Tax Avoidance Department says:

      As long as there is plenty of froth, it doesn’t matter whose mouth it comes out of.


  13. 22
    You want to see the bonus I could pull for landing this one.... says:

    Mr G Osborne
    Chancellor of the Exchequer
    HM Treasury
    1 Horse Guards Road

    Dear George,

    I gather that you will announce in the Budget today that, as part of your strategy of reducing your debt, you will be borrowing more. I know that your financial acumen is beyond reproach but I wonder if you have considered paying a small premium to cover the repayments on your loans should some unexpected event happen. You might, for instance, lose your job in the near future – nothing is certain and I believe that there will be a major review of employment in your line of business in 2015.

    We are able to offer highly reputable Payment Protection Insurance, covered by the FSA, which would alleviate your worries should a change in personal circumstances cause difficulties in meeting your financial liabilities (terms and conditions do apply but don’t try to read the small print). I am able to offer a very special rate to borrowers of more than £1 trillion. Our insurance is, of course, backed up by our major shareholder.

    I look forward to an early reponse.

    Stephen Hester
    Royal bank of Scotland


  14. 26
    BBC policy guru says:

    But does it come from Ed Balls that is the question, if not it is worthless.

    His VAT cut described last night by Lawson as tinkering is fantablydozy, and his idea of not choking off growth by housing developments and business taxes cuts are so avant-garde, never thought of them before!


  15. 33
    Hacked Off says:

    Has Hugh Grant signed off the budget?


    • 35
      BBC policy guru says:

      No, definitely not the sweet liberal lovvy x, nor Huge Grant, which is what we expect from Harman, as foretold to by her remark on the Andrew Marr Show – the BBC is the best broadcaster in the world. Love you baby!


      • 62
        I want news not opinion says:

        Evan Davis on R4 Today this morn declared that at the end of the 90’s Budget news was always good where as nowadays Budget news is always bad.


        • 72
          Lord Stansted says:

          On today’s “Today”, Evan Davis went on and on about the importance of moving away from consumer spending to the new economy based on “making things”. As an example, he then interviewed some tosser who “made” videos – presumably for the consumer to buy. Idiot!


          • BBC grooming the Nation for good says:

            Here is the news:

            ‘What what we need is,
            everyone else should make things,
            and everyone else’s children should be apprentices.’


          • the stench of hypocrisy says:

            The BBC’s always banging on about the country needing affordable housing.
            But instead of Television Centre being demolished to provide such homes, it’ll be developed into a multi-million pound shopping centre and offices.


    • 142
      Divine Brown's tampon - only slightly used says:

      What a tosser that Huge Hunt is.


  16. 39
    Mitch says:

    Cypriot MP last night saying if they can’t find a solution they’ll leave the Euro.

    German MP this morning saying they (the Germans) won’t back down on the bank account raid.

    F*cking love it!!!


    • 52
      Execute Every Last Mother Fucking One of Them says:

      Wait till the Russians flex some regional muscle bail out Cyprus and then get them to leave the EU and join the CIS! Be f_cking priceless to see the EU twats shit themselves!


    • 55
      Oooer matron! says:

      Sign on the nudist beach at Limassol says “Leave your Nicosia”.


    • 58
      A crap historian says:

      Remind me please. Did the Germans get as far as Cyprus in the last large unpleasantness or would it be new territory for them? Educashun was in short supply in my day!


      • 70
        Mitch says:

        Not sure about Cyprus. But am quite amused that the 2 big players in the latest farce are Russia and Germany!

        They don’t mess about when they fight…


      • 90
        Point of Information says:

        Cyprus remained British. 30,000 Cypriots served in the British forces.


  17. 42
    What Geogre won't say says:


  18. 44
    Smacked Toff says:

    A blow by blow review will be needed.


  19. 45
    Put on Pensioner says:

    I would not trust the twat to se me across a “B” road, he never was and never will be “fit for purpose”

    The man is a class bungler worse than Broon!


  20. 46
    Fuck it says:

    Raise the retirement age for women to 65 right now, that would make a massive difference.


  21. 47
    Nonny Mouse says:

    Staged PR photo if ever I saw one! If you are going to pretend to be writing something you should at least pose with a piece of paper that has something more than the pre-printed letterhead on it. Also should’ve rolled his sleeves up and given him a calculator or at least an abacus. Oh and for realism also posing with him should be Merkel, Von Rumpoy, and some bloated African leader dripping in gold all with their hands out gleefully receiving billions of OUR money from him.


    • 83
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      In fairness, though, it WAS the orders for a McDonald’s run by an office boy.


    • 84
      Dr Oien Clerque says:

      Exactly, this is no self-pic and don’t forget your taxes are paying for the photographer too.

      Anyone who starts tweeting posed photographs is about as authentic as Tony Blair.


  22. 61
    Simon Hefferlump says:

    A Twitter budget?

    Chance would be a fine thing. He should put the budget in 140 characters rather than fiddling with 7,000 tax rates.

    George Osborne’s become Gordon Brown with his constant meddling and missed targets.


    • 68
      Sir William Wade says:



    • 75
      Pawn Sandwich says:

      To be fair, any successor to the dysfunctional economy left by Gordon Brown as chancellor was on a hiding to nothing. Alistair Darling inherited a clusterfuck left by Gordon and passed the baton to George Osborne. You may well need a succession of chancellors to sort out the maximum imbeciles mess.


      • 77
        Pawn Sandwich says:

        And on a lighter note, this is how Alistair gets some pin money.


      • 78
        Simon Hefferlump says:

        Osborne missed his chance. He talked of cuts but has put up public spending. He’s running a structural deficit every year he can whilst relying on voodoo QE.

        He should have slashed back spending from the start. Today he’s playing Labour’s game by borrowing loads, the only difference between his budget and Ed Balls’ nutjob plans is to the right of the decimal place.

        The longer the budget, the less the Chancellor is doing for the economy and the more he’s playing politics.


        • 85
          Pawn Sandwich says:

          Absolutely. His lack of will will return to haunt him. He should have tackled it head on in the beginning.


          • Gideon the Gormless says:

            Ha Ha Ha. You little people just don’t understand.
            I won’t be haunted, I’ve got my wallpaper to fall back on.


          • Storm clouds over Camoron says:

            He knows Liebour will get in 2015, just as Liebour knew they would be kicked out in 2010, why work hard when you just have to coast to your unemployment date and do fck all and get showered with what’s left of the mess you made of the countries housekeeping money, you know in the end a bank will take you on with more dosh and just a bit of work just by showing your face on tv.


  23. 64
    Raving Loon says:

    Does that include abolishing employer’s NI? No? Thought not.


  24. 65
    Sir William Wade says:

    What about us chaps who want to work as little as possible and have fun?


  25. 66
    MajorFrustration says:

    Time to Tweet – should be spending his time on better things. Head on – what after two years.


  26. 67
    Fuck it says:

    I’m only amazed Gordon Brown didn’t think of this before.


    • 79
      Simon Hefferlump says:

      He did but he kept hurling his phone at the wall during his frequent bouts of rage and self-loathing.


  27. 69
    Residing in 96.97% white Merseyside says:

    I’m confident my benefits will remain as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar.


  28. 71
    Anonymous says:

    If you squint it could be Cameron.


  29. 73
    English Taxpayer says:

    Help from George Osborne is something I could do without, because it usually entails him helping someone else to my hard earned cash.


    • 81
      Gerry Mander says:

      Exactly, if he was helping he’d get out of the way instead of taking our money and then paying it to his preferred group of marginal voters.


  30. 74
    Liberty my arse says:

    Anyone seen Shami?
    Or is she too busy working out how to spin Liberty supporting state control of the British press and news blogs?


  31. 80
    Moby Dick says:

    Budget has gone from PASTY to NASTY


  32. 86
  33. 92
    Osborne are you listening? Cut the Aid says:

    Until Osborne cuts foreign aid, his budgets will never be taken seriously6.

    Equally how can Cameron tell the EU to cut back spending when he ring fences Foreign Aid, Schools and Hospitals?

    The Foreign Aid is simple but people think cutting back on Schools and the NHS will reduce standards… no it won’t, so much money is wasted by those two that a 50% haircut met by a root and branch treatment would see a rise in standards.


  34. 97

    In church I overheard a lady in the pew next to me saying a prayer. It was so sweet and sincere that I just had to share with you:

    Dear Lord, this has been a tough two or three years.

    You have taken my favourite actor Patrick Swayze.

    My favourite pop singer Michael Jackson.

    My favourite blues singer Amy Winehouse.

    My favourite actress Elizabeth Taylor.

    My favourite singer Whitney Houston.

    And now my favourite guitarist Alvin Lee.

    I just wanted you to know that my favourite politicians are: Ed Miliband, Tony Blair, Nick Clegg, Ed Balls, Gordon Brown and John Bercow.


  35. 99
    Number 10 bus from Bucharest. says:

    So if Employment is up and unemployment is up. Either we have had a love in or Dave’s immigration figures are shite.

    But what can Dave do when Barroso and Herman says he must have open borders? Well I and 60 million other Britons know exactly what Dave can do.


    • 104
      In the real word says:

      You will find the port of entry immigration figures no help either. here;s a clue: there are hundreds of thousands of illegal immigrants who the Home Office have been slyly giving an amnesty to. They are starting to show up on in the statistics.


      • 149
        Open all hours says:

        We’ve just come back from France via the Shuttle. Nobody checked whether we had someone concealed in the boot of our car.


    • 111
      English Taxpayer says:

      Because they’re coming in faster than we can create non-jobs for them!


      • 134
        Horse-face Lagarde says:

        I assume there could be a few British citizens returning home from the mediterranean in the coming months


  36. 102
    Ah! Monika says:

    “You’ll need to send warship to California to stop me…” Guido Fawkes in the Sun

    No.10 replies “We’ll see about that, Aircraft Carrier on the way.”


    • 107
      Pawn Sandwich says:

      “Aircraft Carrier on the way.”

      What they going to do? Ram him.

      There are no planes for the carriers.


      • 125
        The Royal anvy sends a rowing boat says:

        We haven’t got an Aircraft Carrier either…perhaps the French will oblige ??


    • 112
      Taxpayer says:

      Guido, could you please locate your servers on the Eastern Seaboard, it would save fuel.


    • 115
      Storm clouds over Camoron says:

      I thought our great aircraft carriers were still in meccano kit form, so that will be in 5 years then, have they borrowed a few Tiger Moths off some flight school.


  37. 106
    Vince Cable says:

    Budget Day? I’d forgotten about that.


  38. 116
  39. 120
    Tinkle says:

    I can see Russia an China coming out of this Europeon debacle quite well as the European Fedralists are fighting for bureaucracy.

    Government should be smaller as technology advances


  40. 126
    Baloney says:

    “Right on cue, unemployment is up by 7,000 this morning. Youth unemployment is up 48,000, though employment is also up by 131,000 and the number of JSA claimants is slightly down.”

    What you’re saying is that immigration is up.


    • 137
      lies damn lies and the BBC says:

      The BBC doesn’t recognise the word Immigration.
      The other day Rita Chakrabarti blamed pressure on primary school places on Migration!


  41. 135
    Gillian Beastley says:

    Of course, I have no interest in the budget whatsoever. I will still be paid excessive amounts of cash for essentially ripping off the plebs in this awfully shitty little city.



  42. 143
    Dolly the sheep says:

    ” A Budget that tackles the economy’s problems ” ?

    I wonder what his past Budgets have been tackling ?


  43. 146

    Twatter Budget, innit?


  44. 150
    Unemployed and skint in Birtley Colliery says:

    I told you there are no jobs about and now George Osborne and the Cypriots are with me.


  45. 152
    Disgusted of Neasden says:

    So, how does it help the unemployment figures to further subsidise nursery places in order to encourage more mothers to look for work?

    Also, how does reducing tax on beer (if true) contribute to raising the minimum price of alcohol?

    And how do either of these contribute to reducing the borrowing requirement?

    Does not compute.


  46. 155
    The Gadget Inspector? says:

    So if QE totalling over 3% of GDP has failed to expand the economy then what exactly will further QE achieve?


  47. 157
    Anonymous says:

    Hows about stop robbing the english tax payer and stop importing problems.


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