March 15th, 2013

Eric Joyce Barred, Martin Brown Free to Booze

Bar brawler Eric Joyce has been banned from buying alcohol on the parliamentary estate, only a few years too late. The Commons authorities have confirmed to Guido that Martin Brown, Joyce’s researcher who is accused knocking a female researcher to the ground, is still free to drink in Parliament. Since complaints about staffers go through the MP before they reach the Commons, as yet no action can be taken. Parliamentary bag-carriers: don’t say Guido didn’t warn you…


  1. 1
    Jimmy's kin says:

    Wherr’s Ma’ main man?
    where’s tha ‘ main mouthpeece ?

    Jimmy! C. U Jimmy!

  2. 2
    Popeye says:

    MP for Falkirk no less, isn’t that north of the border?
    These jocks will go miles for a cheap drink it seems.

  3. 3
    John says:

    Well it’s not like he went driving or anything. Let me man have a drink!

  4. 4
    Popeye says:

    “Martin Brown, who was murdered”.
    Wrong agin Jimmy, a different shade of Brown.

  5. 5
    Fat little Alec Salmond and that caviar woman says:

    Come back to Holyrood

  6. 6

    It wasn’t the drinking that was the problem.
    It was more the punching

  7. 7
    eh? says:

    Why the hell should we subsidise a violent mate of a violent drunken disgrace of an MP to drink in the HoC?

  8. 8
    John says:

    But clearly you need to attack people on 2 separate occasions for it to be considered a problem…

  9. 9
    Eric 'Karaoke' Joyce says:

    Hoots mon, can you no hear the music?

  10. 10
    Fred Blogs says:

    Come on now, wouldn’t you be narked if your surname was a girl’s name.

  11. 11
    Blowing Whistles says:

    When oh when will the Police develope their spines and put every member of the stinking corrupt houses of Parliament “behind bars”?

  12. 12
    Red Egg Millitit... Social Naturist or National Socialist says:

    Chop off ‘is knob, the knob !!

  13. 13
    Harriet Harman says:

    I stand up for women’s rights. Except when it’s one of ours who punches a woman to the ground.

  14. 14
    Christ Huhne says:

    Steady on!

  15. 15
    The only good MP is a dead MP. says:

    Why should we subsidise any of them?

  16. 16
    Jack Dromey (Mrs) says:

    I thought I was safe, he wouldn’t hit a member of an all women’s shortlist surely?

  17. 17
    Labour says:

    Labour: The party that loves women so much, we punch them.

  18. 18
    SP4BS says:

    Thats a bit chicken and egg isn’t?

    Perhaps he’s not good at keeping that sense that inhibits us from venting our anger.
    Perhaps he’s drnking enough to become very uninhibited.

    (I’m sure that deserves another “perhaps…” to make it into a joke, but I can’t be bothered)

  19. 19
    Chris Huhne says:

    My cellmate says my new name from now on is Judy and I have to wear a pink tutu and call him Daddy.

  20. 20
    ████ 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:

    Now I’ve got an open sphincter, isn’t it time I was sent to an open prison ??

  21. 21
    Fuck Labour says:

    Tell Eric what you think of him:

  22. 22
    Wonderful diversity says:

    Or when the woman is the wife/sister of a muzzie. Or a white girl that a group of muzzies have taken a shine to.

    Because it’s “in their culture”.

  23. 23
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    When is the same sex marriage taking place ?

  24. 24
    Fuck Labour says:

    Labour claim to be the party for women. Can they remind me which party has had a female leader?

    It’s ok, I can wait.

  25. 25
    Daddy Bubba says:

    When I’m good and ready, boy! Yeeeeeeeeeehaw!

  26. 26
    Footage leaked from Chris Huhne's cell says:

  27. 27
    The real reason why Labour supports the Union says:

    Come Independence next year all the 60 plus Labour MPs will be out of a job in 2015 and even if elected in 2015 as transitions going through will no longer be able to sit once Scotland leaves the Union…goodbye Labour majority

  28. 28
    Back@woodsman says:

    I’m sure if she’s a Tory, there’ll be lots of Cif types finding a plausible excuse for it !

  29. 29
    Ed Millibland says:

    Do you mean me?

  30. 30
    Ed Millibland says:

    Len says I am androgynous and I am his bitch.

  31. 31
    Question Time says:

    Question Time in 2 weeks is coming from Rochdale. :-D That should be a hoot.

    “Let’s have our first question from Abdul Jilal”.

    “Does the panel agree that all infidels should be burnt alive or beheaded?”

    “Let’s go onto our next question from Yasmina Quershi”.

    “Yes, does the panel agree that they are all going to hell for not worshipping allah?”

    “Our next question comes from Ibrahim Mustafa”.

    “Hello please. Yes, I am wantings to ask the panel if they have mutilated their daughters’ genitals yet, and if not, why not?”

  32. 32
    Hank the Cat says:

    You mean like a boy named Sue?

  33. 33
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Ed West’s Telegraph article – has no comments allowed. His article is ‘biased’, ‘profoundly duplicitous and misleading’.

    May I suggest he reads up about the “Business Warfare plans” of former Israeli / 1967 General and Murdoch henchman in the UK (NDS) Abraham Peled. His plans were basically to kill any competition – by all means foul if necessary. Ask Jamie Doward of the Gruniad about Peled.

  34. 34
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    What you are speaking of has the overtones of coup.

    They do seem to be encroaching more into territory which previously may have been considered ‘off limits’, by mutual agreement.

  35. 35
    Blacktar Badrash says:

    What do the panel think about young white female trash leading our brothers astray?

  36. 36
    Casual Observer says:

    Other than alcohol, any insight yet as to what the original argument was about which led Brown to allegedly strike Louise ?

  37. 37
    Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    I remember attending a works Christmas party several years ago and a bloke ended up getting the sack .

    Apparently he had one too many babychams and there was an infortunate incident in the gentlemen’s toilet involving broken glass and blood .

    These characters seem to be heading for the high jump.

  38. 38
    The Obvious says:

    The bloke’s a nutter. He shouldn’t even be in the building or anywhere that’s not behind bars.

  39. 39
    Winston Churchill says:

    They didn’t even get paid before 1911. We should revert back to those times and get rid of career politicians.

    They should attend as a public service without pay or expenses or just pi$$ off and get a real job.

  40. 40
    RBC says:

    The main topic will be,”should all UKIP voters be sterlised at birth”?

  41. 41
    Moohamid Ramadanadingdong says:

    When will FGM be available free on the NHS?

    When will we have Muslim-only wards and Muslim-only NHS hospitals?

    Also, I want to go on the Hajj. Will my benefits be extended to cover this?

  42. 42
    Mr Curious says:

    Was he sacked because of the unfortunate incident in the gents’ toilets, or because he drank Babycham?

  43. 43
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Bliar had them in his pocket.

  44. 44
    imho says:

    That Harriet, she is a witch
    An ugly unprincipled bitch
    She gives a shy wink
    When told what to think
    Changing her stance with no sign of a hitch.

  45. 45
    Member of the public says:

    Criminal charges?

  46. 46
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Could we expect the plod to get to the bottom of it all … hardly likely to are they?

    They don’t do What is “In The Public Interest” any longer – nor do the CPS legions of shysters.

  47. 47
    My favourite film is Zulu says:

    So that is half a dozen policemen called out to Westminster on a Thursday night having to take umpteen statements .

    What with all those penalty point dodgers still at liberty a policeman’s lot is most certainly never done.

  48. 48
    Sneaking first alcoholic drink says:

    Loves those Babysham glasses from the garage, the ones with the frosted rim.

  49. 49
    Chief Cashier says:

    Joyce is just another Scottish drunken lout, but too fucking mean to get pissed up in Scotland. 52yrs old trying to be a teeager again, can’t take his beer like most scots. Fuck off back to Scotland with the rest of the moaning tossers!!!

  50. 50
    Wyle Cop says:

    Apart from his previous thuggish episode last year, Joyce is no stranger to trouble:

    Booted out of the Army,
    B@nned fr0m dr1v1ng,
    The first MP to claim a million in exes,
    Bought paintings with his exes,
    Waltzed out of the Gov because Bliar didn’t promote him.

    Nice chap. Par for the course for a Labourite from Falkirk.

  51. 51
    Member of Parliament says:

    Wha’? Us?

    No, no, you see, little person, we’re Members of Parliament. We make the rules but don’t have to obey them.

  52. 52
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    Joyce really is pusbag of the first order. Boot this total waste of space out now and stop him troughing and boozing at our expense- and then bang him up for GBH.

  53. 53
    Gaston says:


    Professional politicians working hard for the taxpayer’s shilling.

    A pox on their houses.

  54. 54
    annoyed says:

    They’re only in politics for what they can take, and they award themselves far too much. Politicians should be paid by their supporters, NOT by the public.

  55. 55
    cynic says:

    Ready for a peerage, then? Or perhaps an EU job? Maybe heading an NGO?

  56. 56
    The Old Fella says:

    And if Cams loses the well thought out debate will he call for a General election, you bet he will not, I think that’s what we need, the LimpyDems know that they are going to lose seats, maybe half, might as well go down guns blazing

  57. 57
    The Old Fella says:

    Joyce is no longer labour but he might consider becoming a tory mp in the whips office

  58. 58
    The Old Fella says:

    Go on then, use your real name and give him your address I am sure Joyce will be very pleased to meet you

  59. 59
    The Old Fella says:

    You mean like little Willy Hague and his “14” pints at 14 years old?

  60. 60

    Another pissed arse Dishonourable Trougher gets done. Next one please!

  61. 61
    Jabba the Hutt mp Mid-Sussex says:

    I am fat useless waste of space in my safe seat. Thats your problem folks.

  62. 62
    Jabba the Hutt mp Mid-Sussex says:

    He still has and I am on his payroll.

  63. 63
    One of the revolting plebs now voting UKIP.Org says:

    Just seen video of the Falkirk Thumper creeping out of the back door of
    Belgravia Nick after being released on bail……..& very surprised to learn he has
    not been charged by the MET. Hope this is not a indication the very serious
    offences committed by this bu*m are not going to kicked into the long grass……???? unless a GE is going to happen sooner rather than later !!!

    I hope by the time he has to return to Police Station before the end of March
    he will have resigned his seat, it will be disgusting if he has not…..!!! and
    he should get a long custodial when this case finally get to court !!!

  64. 64
    John from Hull says:

    Joyce is like me – only joined the party for the free punch.

  65. 65
    damned impertinent questions says:

    He’ll just hae a few bittles o’ Buckie fer medicinal purposes then ye ken

  66. 66
    damned impertinent questions says:

    He’s now resident in that cell so often does it qualify as a second residence for claim purposes?

  67. 67
    damned impertinent questions says:

    See me, am barred

    See you, yur nae barred unless I say yer barred

    So yur nae barred cause yer my bestest friend

    Now gae me mair drink

  68. 68
    damned impertinent questions says:

    No they can do with Joyce because he’s an Oik and not their social better so its ok

  69. 69
    parisclaims says:

    He was the 1st MP to rack up £1,000,000 in Xs

  70. 70
    Joyce Eric says:

    There’s no way I’ll fucking resign.
    No way I’ll give up my expenses and pension just because some bloody English copper took a dislike to me – I was minding my own business for christ’s sake.
    Anyway, I don’t need it, fuck ‘em, I’ll carry my own in a flask…

    Now then, and I’m being hypothetical here you understand but say if I were to resign what’s the what’s the severance package like?

  71. 71
  72. 72
    Stella Ahtoys says:

    Martin Brown woman beater

  73. 73
    Loves! Labour's Lost! says:

    Joyce is Labour through and through
    – and loves punching women

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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