March 15th, 2013

Eric Joyce Barred, Martin Brown Free to Booze

Bar brawler Eric Joyce has been banned from buying alcohol on the parliamentary estate, only a few years too late. The Commons authorities have confirmed to Guido that Martin Brown, Joyce’s researcher who is accused knocking a female researcher to the ground, is still free to drink in Parliament. Since complaints about staffers go through the MP before they reach the Commons, as yet no action can be taken. Parliamentary bag-carriers: don’t say Guido didn’t warn you…


  1. 1
    Jimmy's kin says:

    Wherr’s Ma’ main man?
    where’s tha ‘ main mouthpeece ?

    Jimmy! C. U Jimmy!


  2. 2
    Popeye says:

    MP for Falkirk no less, isn’t that north of the border?
    These jocks will go miles for a cheap drink it seems.


    • 5
      Fat little Alec Salmond and that caviar woman says:

      Come back to Holyrood


    • 27
      The real reason why Labour supports the Union says:

      Come Independence next year all the 60 plus Labour MPs will be out of a job in 2015 and even if elected in 2015 as transitions going through will no longer be able to sit once Scotland leaves the Union…goodbye Labour majority


      • 56
        The Old Fella says:

        And if Cams loses the well thought out debate will he call for a General election, you bet he will not, I think that’s what we need, the LimpyDems know that they are going to lose seats, maybe half, might as well go down guns blazing


  3. 3
    John says:

    Well it’s not like he went driving or anything. Let me man have a drink!


  4. 4
    Popeye says:

    “Martin Brown, who was murdered”.
    Wrong agin Jimmy, a different shade of Brown.


  5. 7
    eh? says:

    Why the hell should we subsidise a violent mate of a violent drunken disgrace of an MP to drink in the HoC?


    • 15
      The only good MP is a dead MP. says:

      Why should we subsidise any of them?


      • 39
        Winston Churchill says:

        They didn’t even get paid before 1911. We should revert back to those times and get rid of career politicians.

        They should attend as a public service without pay or expenses or just pi$$ off and get a real job.


        • 54
          annoyed says:

          They’re only in politics for what they can take, and they award themselves far too much. Politicians should be paid by their supporters, NOT by the public.


          • Jabba the Hutt mp Mid-Sussex says:

            I am fat useless waste of space in my safe seat. Thats your problem folks.


  6. 9
    Eric 'Karaoke' Joyce says:

    Hoots mon, can you no hear the music?


  7. 11
    Blowing Whistles says:

    When oh when will the Police develope their spines and put every member of the stinking corrupt houses of Parliament “behind bars”?


  8. 13
    Harriet Harman says:

    I stand up for women’s rights. Except when it’s one of ours who punches a woman to the ground.


    • 16
      Jack Dromey (Mrs) says:

      I thought I was safe, he wouldn’t hit a member of an all women’s shortlist surely?


      • 44
        imho says:

        That Harriet, she is a witch
        An ugly unprincipled bitch
        She gives a shy wink
        When told what to think
        Changing her stance with no sign of a hitch.


    • 22
      Wonderful diversity says:

      Or when the woman is the wife/sister of a muzzie. Or a white girl that a group of muzzies have taken a shine to.

      Because it’s “in their culture”.


      • 30
        Question Time says:

        Question Time in 2 weeks is coming from Rochdale. :-D That should be a hoot.

        “Let’s have our first question from Abdul Jilal”.

        “Does the panel agree that all infidels should be burnt alive or beheaded?”

        “Let’s go onto our next question from Yasmina Quershi”.

        “Yes, does the panel agree that they are all going to hell for not worshipping allah?”

        “Our next question comes from Ibrahim Mustafa”.

        “Hello please. Yes, I am wantings to ask the panel if they have mutilated their daughters’ genitals yet, and if not, why not?”


        • 35
          Blacktar Badrash says:

          What do the panel think about young white female trash leading our brothers astray?


        • 41
          Moohamid Ramadanadingdong says:

          When will FGM be available free on the NHS?

          When will we have Muslim-only wards and Muslim-only NHS hospitals?

          Also, I want to go on the Hajj. Will my benefits be extended to cover this?


    • 28
      Back@woodsman says:

      I’m sure if she’s a Tory, there’ll be lots of Cif types finding a plausible excuse for it !


  9. 17
    Labour says:

    Labour: The party that loves women so much, we punch them.


  10. 19
    Chris Huhne says:

    My cellmate says my new name from now on is Judy and I have to wear a pink tutu and call him Daddy.


  11. 20
    ████ 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:

    Now I’ve got an open sphincter, isn’t it time I was sent to an open prison ??


  12. 21
    Fuck Labour says:

    Tell Eric what you think of him:


    • 58
      The Old Fella says:

      Go on then, use your real name and give him your address I am sure Joyce will be very pleased to meet you


  13. 24
    Fuck Labour says:

    Labour claim to be the party for women. Can they remind me which party has had a female leader?

    It’s ok, I can wait.


  14. 26
    Footage leaked from Chris Huhne's cell says:


  15. 33
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Ed West’s Telegraph article – has no comments allowed. His article is ‘biased’, ‘profoundly duplicitous and misleading’.

    May I suggest he reads up about the “Business Warfare plans” of former Israeli / 1967 General and Murdoch henchman in the UK (NDS) Abraham Peled. His plans were basically to kill any competition – by all means foul if necessary. Ask Jamie Doward of the Gruniad about Peled.


  16. 36
    Casual Observer says:

    Other than alcohol, any insight yet as to what the original argument was about which led Brown to allegedly strike Louise ?


    • 46
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Could we expect the plod to get to the bottom of it all … hardly likely to are they?

      They don’t do What is “In The Public Interest” any longer – nor do the CPS legions of shysters.


      • 68
        damned impertinent questions says:

        No they can do with Joyce because he’s an Oik and not their social better so its ok


  17. 37
    Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    I remember attending a works Christmas party several years ago and a bloke ended up getting the sack .

    Apparently he had one too many babychams and there was an infortunate incident in the gentlemen’s toilet involving broken glass and blood .

    These characters seem to be heading for the high jump.


    • 42
      Mr Curious says:

      Was he sacked because of the unfortunate incident in the gents’ toilets, or because he drank Babycham?


      • 48
        Sneaking first alcoholic drink says:

        Loves those Babysham glasses from the garage, the ones with the frosted rim.


  18. 45
    Member of the public says:

    Criminal charges?


    • 51
      Member of Parliament says:

      Wha’? Us?

      No, no, you see, little person, we’re Members of Parliament. We make the rules but don’t have to obey them.


  19. 47
    My favourite film is Zulu says:

    So that is half a dozen policemen called out to Westminster on a Thursday night having to take umpteen statements .

    What with all those penalty point dodgers still at liberty a policeman’s lot is most certainly never done.


  20. 49
    Chief Cashier says:

    Joyce is just another Scottish drunken lout, but too fucking mean to get pissed up in Scotland. 52yrs old trying to be a teeager again, can’t take his beer like most scots. Fuck off back to Scotland with the rest of the moaning tossers!!!


  21. 50
    Wyle Cop says:

    Apart from his previous thuggish episode last year, Joyce is no stranger to trouble:

    Booted out of the Army,
    B@nned fr0m dr1v1ng,
    The first MP to claim a million in exes,
    Bought paintings with his exes,
    Waltzed out of the Gov because Bliar didn’t promote him.

    Nice chap. Par for the course for a Labourite from Falkirk.


  22. 52
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    Joyce really is pusbag of the first order. Boot this total waste of space out now and stop him troughing and boozing at our expense- and then bang him up for GBH.


  23. 53
    Gaston says:


    Professional politicians working hard for the taxpayer’s shilling.

    A pox on their houses.


  24. 60

    Another pissed arse Dishonourable Trougher gets done. Next one please!


  25. 63
    One of the revolting plebs now voting UKIP.Org says:

    Just seen video of the Falkirk Thumper creeping out of the back door of
    Belgravia Nick after being released on bail……..& very surprised to learn he has
    not been charged by the MET. Hope this is not a indication the very serious
    offences committed by this bu*m are not going to kicked into the long grass……???? unless a GE is going to happen sooner rather than later !!!

    I hope by the time he has to return to Police Station before the end of March
    he will have resigned his seat, it will be disgusting if he has not…..!!! and
    he should get a long custodial when this case finally get to court !!!


  26. 65
    damned impertinent questions says:

    He’ll just hae a few bittles o’ Buckie fer medicinal purposes then ye ken


  27. 66
    damned impertinent questions says:

    He’s now resident in that cell so often does it qualify as a second residence for claim purposes?


  28. 67
    damned impertinent questions says:

    See me, am barred

    See you, yur nae barred unless I say yer barred

    So yur nae barred cause yer my bestest friend

    Now gae me mair drink


  29. 69
    parisclaims says:

    He was the 1st MP to rack up £1,000,000 in Xs


  30. 70
    Joyce Eric says:

    There’s no way I’ll fucking resign.
    No way I’ll give up my expenses and pension just because some bloody English copper took a dislike to me – I was minding my own business for christ’s sake.
    Anyway, I don’t need it, fuck ‘em, I’ll carry my own in a flask…

    Now then, and I’m being hypothetical here you understand but say if I were to resign what’s the what’s the severance package like?


  31. 72
    Stella Ahtoys says:

    Martin Brown woman beater


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