March 13th, 2013

Theresa May Against The World

20130313-084323.jpgSad times for Tory MPs: first they’re told what to tweet, now they can’t even launch an unofficial leadership challenge without getting it in the neck from Number 10. Gove is said to have laid into “disloyal” unnamed colleagues undermining the PM at yesterday’s political cabinet. Who could he possibly mean?

Meanwhile Dave made it one and a half U-turns in the space of 24 hours as he listened to Guido’s readers and ditched minimum alcohol pricing. A policy coincidentally opposed by Theresa May…


  1. 1
    too close to call says:

    Wanker Gove or useless May?

    Might have to decide on who would be the best fuck. Bound to be May.


    • 7
      Paniagua Solo says:

      Put em in a ring, survivor goes forward.


      • 45
        Jamie says:

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  2. 2
    John says:



    • 9
      Anonymous says:

      Grove is very loyal! He is trying to get rid of competition.


    • 17
      Anonymous says:

      why aren’t the Conservatives talking about cutting taxes to poor and middle classes? They only want to cut taxes for the supper rich.


      • 27
        The T'Old Fella says:

        The super rich are the ones who give to the Cons in big wads, so Dave has to appease them, it isn’t hard to understand.


        • 60
          Pliny the Welder says:

          … and the poor are reclassified as job seekers, disabled or public sector workers by LieBore in order to long term impoverish, disenfranchise and/ or enthrall in order to foster their vote, while putting placemen sleepers in the big charities to enfilade the current government.

          Go figure the murky, filthy and polluted waters of politics.

          Still – could be journalism or Big Pharma – Yuck!


        • 70
          Ryan says:

          And anyway, the super-rich can only be taxed when they take some of their money out of investments and spend their cash, which they would never do in Blighty because there isn’t anything to spend the money on. Most expensive house in blighty ever was 80million quid and it was a dog’s breakfast – you’d only make a few million in tax off that and it would only happen once. So frankly you’d only tax the rich more out of sheer spite.

          If you’re middle class and don’t like paying tax I’d suggest the following: buy lots of appartments in an area of high unemployment and then retire. If you retire and your income drops they can’t tax you, and they still haven’t worked out how to tax landlords. If you own a lot of apartments in an area of high unemployment then the apartments will be cheap but the local council will be obliged to pay whatever the middle classes think is a reasonable rate – usually straight into your bank account. This means that most of the tax the middle classes are paying can be reclaimed via housing benefit. What a wizard wheeze! Oh, it looks like the middle classes havce already thought of it…….


        • 84
          The Old Fella says:

          That has been beaten, some Russian immigrant recently citizenship bought a pile for £140M


    • 23
      Anonymous says:

      A story on this matter, . So which one are you going to back, better consult Rupert which way to jump. Gove is right in what he says, after all the Liebore infighting, to have it on your own doorstep making Liebore’s seem trivial, the Cons can be an unruly mob as John Major-Ball, and all the others since who became leaders found out.


  3. 3
    Noeg Nayor says:

    I’ll drink to that!

    Fifteen men on the dead man’s chest–
    …Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
    Drink and the devil had done for the rest–

    With apologies to RLS.


  4. 4
    Call me Dave says:

    Even I think I am a c.unt so should I launch a leadership challenge?

    And then do a U-turn of course

    (Lunch Out Lots)


  5. 5
    Chris Bryant says:

    Osama Well Laden


  6. 6
    q says:

    I think it’s time we called for a national ‘Trust a Tory MP Day’ – one in which all tory MP’s can stand on their particular favourite subjects and appeal to the nation that it’s ‘the right thing to do’ – the winner can then be entered into the National U-Turn Competition which will determine just how much time, money and space each of these useless bastards – otherwise known as SABs (Sad Arrogant Bastard) waste in the name of the country. The eventual winner will be shot at a special gala at Wembley Stadium hosted by Eamon Holmes


    • 10
      Rt Hon Member for Wandsworth North says:

      Excellent idea, these Tories can’t be trusted


      • 31
        Reality says:


        You say the Tory party still exist? What evidence do you have for that?

        The last pitiful whine I heard from Cameron’s ‘we can’t do anything about it’ party, was they were sending P45’s to our serving troops because the country couldn’t afford them, while simultaneously preparing our benefits offices with hundreds of Romanian and Bulgarian interpreters, in readiness for the next tsunami of benefit seeking EU nationals.


        • 41
          bergen says:

          At the moment it would be impossible to assemble a half competent cabinet even if there was an all party coalition. They are all equally useless. Even Ted Heath would look a giant among this lot.


        • 42
          The Old Fella says:

          They might have a idea up their sleeves, re-instate National Service, they will have soldiers, sailor sand air force personnel on the cheap, all below the age of 50 WILL be eligible no opt outs allowed. It will reduce the unemployment level, and have cheap cannon fodder (that was one reason for family allowance)


          • Residing in 96.97% white Merseyside says:

            Does no opt outs include 3 million plus followers of the religion of p*eace?

            You need to live in the real world!


          • Wing Commander Guy Gibson and his dog, erm.., erm.., best not. says:

            Of course it includes them! You have to have SOMETHING self replicating to shoot at in practice – those paper targets are expensive, you know!


        • 81
          Ryan says:

          The great thing about current EU immigration transitional controls is that the self-employed can get in. Prostitutes count as self-employed.Our town is full of cheap Romanian prostitutes. So lets go fuck Eastern europe I say.


  7. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Its all becoming a mess. Even in 3 years this government was able to cut deficit by only 25%.

    In UK people are poor even when they have sky, go on foreign holidays, plenty of money to drink and smoke, etc. Government has to cut benefits more and cut taxes poor and middle class pays. Under this government only the very rich getting tax cuts others are getting tax increases.


    • 36
      The Old Fella says:

      Of course you could say that if people have Sky, say they have that amount deducted from benefit (I don’t know what Rupert would say to that), foreign holidays if you are just on basic benefits that is out anyway, it’s those that have a lot of add-ons, smoking you have to have advanced benefits for that same with booze. I have not been on any social except for JSA and sickness benefit years ago, I have not been abroad for 52 years


      • 53
        Residing in 96.97% white Merseyside says:

        They can afford these things because they all have jobs on the side.

        Well, they do up our way.


        • 62
          Dick 3, still angry about Bosworth and the late parking fees says:

          When do the police refer to a car as “suspicious” in Liverpool city centre?
          When it has a valid tax disc and a working stereo.


        • 85
          The Old Fella says:

          All 4 wheels on?


  8. 11
    Cletus, Bubba's son and brother says:

    Chris is doing fine. Yeeeehaw!


  9. 13
    Squeezed says:

    the minimum booze price, was really a tax grab. If they are not getting it there, they’ll be getting it somewhere else.


    • 47
      The Old Fella says:

      Why all this fuss about putting up the price of booze, if it worries you that much, make it yourself easy and cheaper. All this business of “it’s the poor that will suffer” what a lot of cods wallop the only ones who say that could not give a monkies about the poor, the poor have a choice booze, drugs or smokes, I don’t do any of them now, too expensive to do regularily weened myself off ciggies 12 years ago for health reasons. If Dave legalised certain drugs eg cannabis and taxed them he would have tax revenue and police not loaded down with extra work, of course if someone has an accident through taking drugs they should be hauled over the coals like a drunk driver in the same position.


      • 56
        Residing in 96.97% white Merseyside says:

        I’ve never tried drugs and don’t bother much with drink these days but I still smoke.
        Mind you, with my benefits and pensions (solid as the Rock of Gibraltar) I can afford to.


        • 87
          Village Idiot says:

          The 4mg,nicotine mini lozenges,broke in half,helped me pack in tobacco,although,they were peppery to taste and made my tum funny,but
          persistence paid off and now 14mths baccy free..and,health v good….


  10. 14
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    well cameron has to be man enough to admit that if he continues on his present course he’s likely to miss an election win by miles.

    I like gove and think he’s doing an excellent job but he need to start telling cameron a few tough home truths like you won’t in an election in 2015 with your wet policies.


  11. 15
    Liar.Politicians says:

    Theresa May is a police state nut, and a failed home secretarty just as self confessed failure Jacqui Smith was. May wants to be Tory leader, she will guarantee the Conservatives as unelectable, we’ve had enough of LibLabCon governmnet jackboots.


    • 21
      Back in The EUSSR says:

      Agreed, May is one of the main architects of the re born “wet” left leaning Conservative party. Vote UKIP


    • 61
      Pundit Too. says:

      T. May is probably the best Home Secretary we have had in the last 15 years.
      Yes I know it does not say too much; but just look at the others.
      Total shower of S*I*. Something definately happens to them when they first enter the portals of their new home the Home Office, they totally lose their reason and in most cases the little brain matter they have.
      Its all STRESS I hear them complain. Get a life.


    • 74
      Ryan says:

      Oh I wish, because frankly I’d vote for Hitler right now if he was standing. Stick 10% of the population in gas chambers? That sounds like a social policy to me. Why should the hard-working 90% have to waste half their lives paying for the underclass?


      • 86
        HG Wells Brave New World says:

        Hi Ryan, I think youve wandered onto the wrong blog, Eugenics and assorted Genocides are firmly in the territory of the Left. can I suggest you start with the Fabians . Cheers.


  12. 16
    Glyn H says:

    Off topic; but what is this about David Lammy tweeting the BBC made a racist comment by asking if the papal smoke would be black or white?

    I recall the minister for higher education did not know the difference between Marie Stopes and M. Antoinette.

    Is it joyously true that despite an Oxbridge education a black labour MP is genuinely thick?


    • 22
      vespers says:

      Was his rather weak joke concerning the skin colour of the future pope. Perhaps he feels African or Brazilian candidates will be black-balled.


      • 25
        Pontiffs PA says:

        The todgers of black-men are to big for the choir boys that is a well known fact


      • 58
        Residing in 96.97% white Merseyside says:

        The Brazilian candidate is of German origin and, for that matter, the Argentine one has Italian parents. There was a rundown of them on C4 News last night just in case anyone mistakenly thinks I’m an RC.


    • 64
      Pundit Too. says:

      There is an old African saying that particularly applies to Lammy these days.


  13. 18
    Weygand says:

    A bit of strategic thinking for a change.

    This nanny state alcohol price increase would have alienated many (whether for economic or ideological reasons) and pleased only the smug self-righteous Guardianistas who would continue to vote for ‘anyone but the Tories’.


    • 77
      Catty Comment (Ms) says:

      Yes, the two defenders of the policy I caught on Sky today were both female of the eternal spinsterish type. Plus I would wager they both read the Garnuida.


  14. 19
    Liar.Politicians says:

    At least we can guarantee Matthew Hancock woun’t be a leadership candidate for Conservative party leader, especially after this lamentable performance on the UK eocnomy.


    • 48
      The Old Fella says:

      He looks a bit like that Con minister who used to suck toes


    • 54
      EU Watch says:

      Verhofstadt is a communist mong.

      Hanc0ck is an irritating mong.

      And Krugman is not much better, but at least not a communist or too irritating.


  15. 24
    Diane Abbotapotamus says:


    • 30
      Could we have a maximum weight, Diane? says:

      People die for a lot of reasons. Are we going to ban all human activity?


      • 35
        Socialist Mindset says:

        If it is not possible to regulate and tax it, ban it and fine people caught doing it.


        • 49
          The Old Fella says:

          They are trying to protect people from themselves, alcohol affects some folks more than others, by that I mean some folks seem to have a susceptibility to become addicted (inherited) to alcohol which is where the problem lies.


          • Residing in 96.97% white Merseyside says:

            Hey, you all had an open goal with Diane’s tweet and nobody took advantage.


      • 65
        Pundit too too says:

        STOP people crossing the road – new Limp Dim policy from St. Vince?


    • 75
      JH2389478923748923 says:

      Shall we increase the tax on your food (even the stuff you get free) until we see a reduction in the size of that booty, Abbobotamus?

      It’s not good for your health you know.


      • 78
        Catty Comment (Ms) says:

        Can somebody please confiscate that lardy woman’s phone. She is wasting far too much of my expensive bandwidth.


    • 82
      Ryan says:

      Jesus, there she is. An open appeal fo rthe return of apartheid.


  16. 26
    Gove says:

    I am going to go postal


  17. 28
    Britain is ungovernable says:

    Dave does 1 and a half U turns

    Why not a full two U turns?

    Or three or four to keep the gallery

    He should Cum Dansing methinks


    • 37
      Reality says:

      Britain is becoming ungovernable precisely because of government nannying overreach. There comes a point when people say, enough, get out of our face and life and get your hands out of our pockets.


      • 67
        Pundit too too says:

        I loved the joke in an email from the Adam Smith Institute that said it was so cold in London that the MP’s had their hands in their own pockets.


  18. 29
    SP4BS says:

    I wonder how many “bedroom tax” (*) U-turns we’ll get this week.

    (*) yes I know. but it certainly is a lot more catchy, Dave can’t even sort out a good sound byte can he?


    • 33
      Mitch says:

      Whatever we call it, it is a sh*t idea, really. And it will cause genuine problems, for not much saving.


      • 39
        SP4BS says:

        Oh don’t. you’ll only encourage me.

        It seems like a good idea in theory, and then you start thinking about all the cases where it doesnt start work, and add more and more exceptions. before you know it its like something a French socialist would have come up with.

        Here’s my exception. I used to know a couple of pensioners. They lived in a two bedroom flat, and it took them about 5 years to move into a one bedroom bungalow, after their son moved out.
        Current value of 2 bedroom flat, I’d estimate between £0 and £15k. No, really. Clearly “down south” such properties would be worth a lot, in terms of money and in terms of shoving in a family of 4. Not in this case.


        • 83
          Ryan says:

          Yeah, but it draws attention away from the Mooslims that are actually filling all ten bedrooms in their taxpayer funded Kensington mansions.


  19. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Gove? No 10’s attack poodle and MAN of the year candidate.


  20. 34
    M says:

    What does the EU think towards the election process off the new pope .
    Would it be a model the EU could adopt ?


    • 40
      The Old Fella says:

      I do not know if Vatican City is in the common market they use the Euro like they used the Italian Lira. The popes were always jockeying for political power, ruling the rulers if you like, no one knows how they elect the pope as they are sworn to silence on the topic, it is a in a way a elected dictatorship. In a way the president of the EU is elected by an select few just like the pope.


      • 66
        Dicky Dawkins Does Dallas says:

        I think they just form a Cardinal daisy chain, and the last one to cum, chooses.

        All the black smoke/ white smoke is just a way of burning incriminating kiddy, Nazi and Franco child theft collusion evidence.


  21. 38
    strak says:

    Assumed from the start that they couldn’t do this as it would be a restraint of trade and against EU law. So the whole thing was smoke and mirrors from day 1.


  22. 44
    A Reporter from the Daily Planet says:

    If you look at the Cabinet the only half plausible successors there are May and Gove .

    The others are really also rans such as Patterson and Villiers.

    Hunt is Hunt.

    Smith and Hague are busted flushes .

    Remember in three years too four Ministers have resigned in disgrace. Fox might fancy a crack but equally he must come clean about all his charitable work; his earlier resignation rather curtailed this particular debate .

    Neither May nor Gove are natural Leaders . Gove is too much of an intellectual Guru although when he was being shadowed by Balls he always seemed to be pushed about easily.

    May is a bit of a Mummy/Grandma figure but does not seem to like to much attention to detail just like Dave.

    It surely has to be a straight choice between Boris and Milliband for the overtaxed taxpayer .

    Or perhaps we just stick with Dave and devalue .


    • 72
      Pundit Too says:

      Many a real leader best comes to the fore when forced into difficult tasks.
      Churchill is a prime example but he showed courage and leadership even in South Africa.
      Current Westminster politicians have done almost nothing to bring out a positive character and achieve full potential, and probably never will.
      I can only think of 3 or 4 MP’s that have a very varied and successful background, but none are in any of the “cabinets” and probably never will be.
      People are chosen by their employers to be as alike to them as possible – an inherent fault applicable to any profession.


  23. 46
    Auntie Flo' says:

    Owin Jones, there is no need for that. Your racism is disgusting. Repeat that in a catholic pub, I dare you! Nah, you’re too cowardly for that, aren’t you? Well then, shut your gob!


  24. 51
    Theresa May says:

    Happy Easter everybody!


  25. 52
    A person who needs financial advice says:

    Dear Mr Bank Manager

    Please could you lend me an additional £4 billion every year so I can subsidise the Indian space programme and lots of corrupt dictators. I know that I am already borrowing over £100 billion a year but this would be a lot better investment than red 7.


    Gideon Osbourne


  26. 57
    Jimmy says:

    “Gove is said to have laid into “disloyal” unnamed colleagues ”

    He’ll mortified that this has got out.


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