March 12th, 2013

Monbiot’s Three Year Charity Sentence

Guardian green and loony lefty George Monbiot has agreed to carry out three years of charity work as payment for libelling Lord McAlpine. In a grovelling statement a grateful Monbiot said:

moonbat“I accepted the suggestion immediately and without reservation. I feel the proposed settlement reflects very well on Lord McAlpine, who is seeking nothing for himself, but wants to see work done which could be of great benefit to others. I have been prompted by Lord McAlpine’s admirable proposal to do the right thing – something I should have been doing all along – and I hope very much that I am able to do it well.”

Unlucky Philip Schofield


  1. 1
    Professor Russell says:

    This man drinks too much Irn Bru

  2. 2
    Nurse Boteng says:

    That is becuase the patient is the Irn Chancellor

  3. 3
    Lord Pont says:

    Monbiot is part of the 1%. an ignorant millionaire lefty liar .

  4. 4
    Jimmy says:

    “Lord McAlpine, who is seeking nothing for himself, but wants to see work done which could be of great benefit to others.”

    Isn’t that grounds for expulsion from the Tory Party?

  5. 5
    When I was a lad says:

    This would have been blackmail.

  6. 6
    quelle surprise says:

    I just read out this statement in public and now someone has to mop up the sea of vomit it induced.
    Can we use half an hour of Monbiot’s “charity work” for that?

  7. 7
    Mitch says:

    Apologising is one thing, but this is grovelling.

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Mitch says:

    Did he also agree to style his hair like a big tw’at for three years?

  10. 10
    PC Dixon says:

    He always was a slimy lefty creep.

  11. 11
    Royal British Legion dominoes club says:

    You have a skewed idea of politicians James, in your eyes all left of centre are benefactors and all right of centre are money grabbing bastards.. how wrong can you be..

  12. 12
    Andrew Efiong says:

    I feel sorry for the charity. He’s bound to prove an incompetent liability.

    What a plonker!

  13. 13
    Churchlad says:

    Whats the betting the “charity” is greenpeace/

  14. 14
    rick says:

    Yes, this goes way beyond an apology.

  15. 15
    charity work says:

    Thats sitting on your arse talking about shit you are never gonna do init?

  16. 16
    Royal British Legion dominoes club says:

    I hope he has to work outside and experience this heatwave we are all suffering from due to global warming.

  17. 17
    Lord Stansted says:

    What’s the point? All charities (maybe the donkey league might be an exception) support the green agenda and ffffucking “climate change”.

  18. 18
    Hugh Janus says:

    A lot cheaper, though.

  19. 19
    Jimmy says:


  20. 20
    George Monbiot says:

    I was asked to take part in a charity Marathon. Of course I said no.

    I was then informed that the charity marathon was for disabled people.

    So I thought ‘fuck it, I could win this’

  21. 21
    John Bellingham says:

    Perhaps he can take up Cyril Smith’s good works at Boy’s Clubs and so on.

  22. 22
    Another Gentleman With An Unconventional Coiffure says:

    Careful there.

  23. 23
    Jack Straw says:

    My apology only cost a £1

  24. 24
    polycratos says:

    So many fake left wing ‘charities’ to choose from, political fronts using charitable status to avoid paying tax, the guardian seems the perfect fake charity and he can even get paid to spread his evil creed. I think Mr McAlpine made a blunder here, the left are never so snivelling when they are bang to rights, their genetic arrogance deserts them for just long enough to get off the hook and they will be back doing what they always did. Its not often the extremist poisoners of the left are trapped so its best to make them suffer greatly when they are.

  25. 25
    Royal British Legion dominoes club says:

    Still it beats going to chokey, getting buggered up the arse by a 6’8 bruiser who goes by the name of nancy and being Huhnes neighbour.

  26. 26
    Sir William Wade says:

    Moonbat’s apology doesn’t appear grovelling to me. It is done about as well as an apology can be.

  27. 27
    Uncle Joe Stalin says:

    A left winger doing unpaid charity work?I was going to say ‘makes a fucking change’ but of course Monbiot iis only doing it to save a massive legal bill.

  28. 28
    We will soon be rowing to the standpipes says:


  29. 29
    Sir William Wade says:

    I’ve found that most people on the left are extraordinarily narrow-minded, with a world-view based on simple binary categorisation.

  30. 30
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Whose choice of charity, though– Ali Mac’s, Moonbat’s, or some neutral third party’s?
    We must be told! Follow up on this, chop-chop!

  31. 31
    Hugh Janus says:

    Quite possibly. There are charities, and then there are charities (the Office of Gordon & Sarah Brown is one that springs to mind, or the Bliar Foundation is another equally sham charity). I want to see him on the streets of London at night, helping the homeless, or some other equally uncomfortable activity which gets him cold, wet and dirty, and knackers him out. And how many hours will he be required to complete in these 3 years I wonder?? And who is going to keep tabs on him to ensure that he sticks to the agreement? Perhaps we should have him tagged!

  32. 32
    Diane Abbotapotamus says:


  33. 33
    Roof tilers nailbags says:

    Our charity provides support to the millions of poor saggy breasts in the UK.
    Just give us £2 a week and we can help through advice these tits to gain £200 a week in benefits.

  34. 34
    Economics 101 for a Wallpaper Mong says:

    Example of bad economics:

    If a British company sells 10 jars of jam to a foreigner at GBP 1 / jar, and they increase their sales to 17 following a 6% reduction in the value of Sterling is this good ?

    The exports will show a 70% increase in exports: Good, but disingenuous.

    This will bring in an extra GBP 7: Total GBP 17 : Seems to be good.

    That GBP 17 will be worth GBP 15.98 in last years money, when considering the 6% depreciation.

    So, You have succeeded in giving away just over 1 jar free.

    Hmm… back to the paste board George.

  35. 35
    Royal British Legion dominoes club says:

    Him and Huhne would have made great cell mates, windmills and greenhouse gases.. imagine the laughs they could have had…

  36. 36
    Ben E Fits says:

    Better still, get the gummint to give you the jam for SFA

  37. 37
    Jimmy says:

    That makes 10 of us.

  38. 38
    Ben E Fits says:

    Remember a child is for ever, not just for benefits

  39. 39
    jacky Treehorn says:

    I love the smell of lefties grovelling in the morning.

  40. 40
    Baby Boomer says:

    As long as I get it today I don’t give a fook

  41. 41
    Ben E Fits says:

    Blimey Jimmy agreeing with Sir Wiliam !

  42. 42
    Culture of Entitlement says:


  43. 43
    Cell block Huhne says:

    Please don’t make me drink the contents of that slop bucket.

  44. 44
    Cicero says:

    Or Common Purpose.

  45. 45
    Ah! Monika says:

    At last! Immigrants learning to speak our language.

    FOREIGN sex workers are being given free English lessons to help them understand the filthy things they’re being asked to do.
    Overseas strippers, prostitutes and escorts are being invited to attend classes, which also help improve their patter with punters and help boost their safety dealing with landlords. ( Sun)

  46. 46
    Jimmy says:

    Most internet commenters tend to be one club golfers let’s face it.

  47. 47
    Leo Britain says:

    Boys boys boys! I’m looking for a good time!

  48. 48
    Fellow Traveller says:

    What would you suggest as a suitable punishment, Uncle Joe?

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    Of course, the information about who owned many pictures of children by Ovenden might come back to haunt this thread.

  50. 50
    Blind Pugh says:

    Just wait until Mark Carney arrives and there is a cold snap next winter .

  51. 51
    Council tennant with a spare room says:

    what about sally? when to we see that lefty big mouthed car crash get hers?

  52. 52
    Anonymous says:

    do you apologise at Iceland then Jack??

  53. 53
    Ed Millibland says:

    Yeth if we cawwy this metafor on, I jutht have an empthty gowf bag

  54. 54
  55. 55
    Jimmy says:

    Just as well no one on here jumped on that bandwagon.

  56. 56
    Anonymous says:

    I have found that most of the collectors of Graham Ovenden’s photographs are well known Lords.

  57. 57
    Blind Pugh says:

    I thought the purpose of the law of defamation was to compensate people who had wrongly had their reputations tarnished and to prevent the defamation continuing in the future .

  58. 58
    Quisling says:

    Who has had it in for Sally?

  59. 59
    Sir Arthur Strebe-Grebling says:

    Monbiot’s Three Year Charity Sentence?
    Shouldn’t that be Charity’s Three Year Monbiot Sentence?

  60. 60
    P l e b says:

    Wikipedia has been revised now

  61. 61
    Bubba on E wing says:

    You’ll all be happy to know Chris is settling nicely :)

  62. 62
    EU Watch says:

  63. 63
    Question Crime says:

    Has this chap been on steroids for a number of years?

  64. 64
    OnBenefits says:

    Cameron’s 39th U-turn, to abandon minimum pricing for booze has my support. Now my Special Brew won’t be going up…

    (Statistic from

  65. 65

    Hope you keep an eye on him for the next few years.

  66. 66
    Chris Huhne says:

    I told the other prisoners I’m a Lib Dem. I’m so unpopular, even the nonces won’t talk to me.

  67. 67
    Engineer says:

    Winter track maintenance on a heritage railway, or hedging and ditching on a nature reserve, or cleaning the bogs in a very busy National Trust stately home.

  68. 68
    Cletus, Bubba's son and brother says:


  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    Petrol forecourt assisant.

  70. 70
    Smash the (welfare) state says:

    what kind of charity work?
    Raising awareness of eco-mentalism, The Gay Plague, third-worldism, general lefty-bollocks presumably.

  71. 71
    Simon says:

    Is it possible to ask why McAlpine didn’t sue Scallywag magazine? Seems a bit unfair on Monbiot given the size of allegations of Scallywag.

  72. 72
    EU Watch says:

  73. 73
    Hugh Janus says:

    And if his bog-cleaning is very good he gets a brush?

  74. 74
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Chris if you complain that your porridge has too much salt in it, the prison warders will just jizz in it all the more ;-)

  75. 75

    About bloody time too. The whole pantomime that one has to do to get even the most basic of requests across is so time consuming. And these women/men charge by the hour.

    I actually believe that Zabrinskawa in Shepherd’s Market speaks very good English. She just does all that Noszpeakie-zid’eengleesh just to wheedle another half hour out of ..erm.someone else..allegedly.

  76. 76
    Royal British Legion dominoes club says:

    Yes Jimmy and you have only got a junior putter and two worn out balls in your bag.

  77. 77

    “Jumped on”

    ***Must ***resist**Temptation**Must not ** make**comment**

  78. 78
    OnBenefits says:

    So Ian Dunkin Smith’s made another u-turn on the Bedroom Tax. Two in one day from this incompetent government.

  79. 79
    hereandnow1 says:

    This is not a U TURN IDS has the pending court appeal next week (Tuesday) in the high court,where he has to explain to Justice Mitting why there should not be a policy review regarding the bedroom tax..he`s just dropped these two things in hope he can get away without a review…he hasn’t included disabled people because they are the very people bring the case against him…..IDS ego

  80. 80
    Royal British Legion dominoes club says:

    Clearing up bullshit in one of those city farm projects, it’ll be the first time he’s actually been on the receiving end of it.

  81. 81
    National Socialism is Socialism says:

    Bedroom tax is not a tax.

    Bedroom tax is Labour spin which hopes to stir up a rerun of the poll tax riots.

  82. 82
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    You have to read the whole thing to get the most interesting bit…

  83. 83
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    Think it’s fair to see that Marxists have managed to kill 200 million, and Capitalism has built modern society.

    I wonder does Jimmy possess a window?

  84. 84
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    You think there’s a difference?

  85. 85
    EU Watch says:

    This is likely how the 38 degree stuff will be dealt with:

  86. 86
    The BBC says:

    We don’t care about anarchist i.e left wing violence, we only want to report what Golden Dawn are up to.

  87. 87
    Jakedog says:

    You need to look at the details of the policy – the vast majority of families claiming housing benefit and in social housing are in work, either part time or full time. There is a shortage of smaller, one bedroomed houses or flats, so many claimants will have no way of avoiding the cuts to housing benefits. As you can only claim such a benefit if you are low paid, then it is effectively a tax on poverty.
    Please think before you type

  88. 88
    Council tennant with a spare room says:

    too late! … innocent face

  89. 89
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    It’s like being proud you had to work longer because you cut your salary.

    Because that’s exactly what currency depreciation is, forcing a pay cut on the country.

  90. 90
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    “Anarchists for a bigger state” = Communists with a PR manager.

  91. 91
    Tyzack says:

    Where’s the social housing with only one bedroom?

  92. 92
    CarryHole is a silly Hunt says:

    Extra room subsidy.

  93. 93
    Thickstp says:

    I think you’ll find its called a park bench or a cardboard box. That is where this is heading. Their intention is to create a an “undeserving poor” underclass who can be pilloried and punished to placate their extreme right wing.

    The irony is that they are doing it by using a “bedroom tax” that is worthy of a traditional Soviet style social engineering measure. Comrade IDS will soon be dictating how many children the undeserving poor can have and sending his secret police round to enforce the rules

  94. 94

    But that isn’t true. There is a shortage of three and four bedroom properties. That is what this is all about. I don’t really agree with it, but that’s why we have it.

    When Miliband comes in he will have the same system, but people moving from a larger to smaller property will get an increase in benefits.

  95. 95
    Smackhead Gilmour says:

    Bog Issue

  96. 96
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Surely McAlpine’s biggest blunder is in not suing David Icke: just think of the millions he could have made!

  97. 97
    Liz, Phil, Chaz, etc says:

    We are as one with our people.

  98. 98
    NE Frontiersman says:

    @92: Ironically, an interesting recent letter to the Spectator argued that the post-war USSR’s policy of building most new flats with only one bedroom, coupled with free birth control, had had a severe impact on population growth, after years of desperate losses.

  99. 99
    JabbaTheCat says:

    Shovelling coal for six months in a power station…

  100. 100
    Edinburgh Eurocrat and mental. says:

    Another ugly useless lefty takes it up the uranus!

  101. 101
    ukfred says:

    Let him clean and disinfect the toilets at an NHS hospital for 6,240 hours. That would be useful work, for three years at 40 hours per week. Then he might learn how the other 99% lives.

  102. 102
    Rightallalong says:

    Suppose he’ll work for the Common Purpose ‘charity’.

  103. 103
    Huhne's Energy bill says:

    Don’t make him pick up dog shit.

    That would be plagiarism.

  104. 104
    Anonymous says:

    How can I reserve half an hour of Sally Bercow’s charity time next time I’m in London?

  105. 105
    Jim says:

    What a prick.

  106. 106
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    How is McAlpine going with his case against Sally Bercow? It would be great to see Bercow share a cell with Pryce.

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    He will certainly get to meet some old school Tories that way.

  108. 108
    Anonymous says:

    You lot really hate him – clearly he has done something right.

  109. 109
    hold them to ac says:

    I agree with the binary point. These are the sort of people that would convict or acquit someone when on the jury based on a soundbite, or by clever branding of actions by a barrister e.g. “xenophobic, racist, premeditated or victimised” wholly unsupported by facts. It is always nice to know they are just following the BBC’s lead then really.

  110. 110
    Anonymous says:

    If some people have something to say…

  111. 111
    hold them to ac says:

    Of course you can’t be imprisoned for lying or maligning without cause. Perhaps our Schadenfraude should be directed towards politicians who prop up organisations such as the BBC, Harman and Hunt being examples.

  112. 112
    hold them to ac says:

    Labour advice is to equip your very own soup kitchen with plenty of tea for the kids: after all we wouldn’t want them pronouncing them. Also try to keep the vodka out of reach from them until they are 14 and remember that is when pregnancy is expected too.

  113. 113
    tennant's super strength libel says:

    Our marketing is working really well for our main audience.

  114. 114
    Anonymous says:

    Given the right-wing have turned tax avoidance into such an art-form, they should put in for an Arts Council Grant.

  115. 115
    National Socialism = Nazism says:

    As with the Poll Tax, the Bedroom Tax is yet another mean-minded Tory attack on the poor and disabled. And, as with the Poll Tax – it will backfire.

  116. 116
    Personality Test says:

    Think of the most generous people you know. How many of them vote Labour?

  117. 117

    Let’s see what sort of work he gets to do. Where it is, and what it is, will say something about his sincerity.

    He is not a stupid man, ans he might still have some (sincerity): let’s give the bugger a chance.

  118. 118
    Speculative Agent says:

    Moonbat has tremendous comedy value.

    A comedy-gold double bill with him and Mad Polly Pointless could really pack ‘em in.

  119. 119
    Splooge says:


    It’s gotta be Moonbat and Geoffrey Lean – the Little and Large of Eco-Loon standup.

  120. 120
    Anonymous says:

    I think it’s unlikely he’s a millionaire and I don’t think his income would get him that close to the 1% either – He doesn’t seem like much of a deliberate liar either.

    Lefty for sure and maybe ignorant too.

  121. 121
    Conspiracy Thierry says:

    Is that the Graham Ovenden currently on trial in Truro for possessing kiddie porn.

  122. 122
    R Sole says:

    No he is on trial in Truro for child abuse.

  123. 123
    The man at the back with the awful jumper - yes you sir says:

    “Another useful plot is the false accusation. First, create a situation
    where you are falsely accused. Then, at a convenient moment, arrange for
    the false accusation to be shown to be false beyond all doubt… Further
    accusations will then be treated with great suspicion.”
    pg 176, The New Machiavelli (2000)
    Author: Alistair McAlpine

  124. 124
    Brooklyn Real Estate Inc says:

    Are you interested in buying a bridge. Wonderful condition. Hardly used. Very convenient to Broadway & Wall St.

  125. 125
    Neo-Plato says:

    From WIKI:
    Politics was at the heart of family life—his father, Raymond Geoffrey Monbiot, is a businessman who headed the Conservative Party’s trade and industry forum,[3] while his mother, Rosalie—the elder daughter of Conservative MP Roger Gresham Cooke[6]—was a Conservative councillor who led South Oxford district council for a decade

    McAlpine ain’t about to start a civil war.

  126. 126
    Anonymous says:

    Sanctimonious, self-righteous prick!

  127. 127
    Archie says:

    Looks like some sort of Dago!

Media Reader

Newspapers No Longer Willing to Toe Party Line | Roy Greenslade
London Live to Cut 20 Staff to Buy in More Content | Press Gazette
Telegraph Revealed Auschwitz 3 Years Before Liberation | Telegraph
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
We Must Not Call Charlie Hebdo Killers ‘terrorists’ | Telegraph
Page 3 and the Art of the Self-Pity Statement | Guardian
Here is What a 7 Way Debate Sounds Like | BBC
Poll: Sun Readers Want Page 3 to Stay | Business Insider
The Sun: An Apology | Press Gazette
More Women Prosecuted For Telly Tax | Mail

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Dan Hodges on Labour unity

“We’ve heard a lot over the past few years about how Miliband has united Labour. But he has not united Labour. He has pacified Labour. He has placed it into a medically induced coma following the trauma of the party’s 2010 defeat.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers