March 10th, 2013

Read Guido’s Column in The Sun Today

Guido is sharing a page with Ed Miliband in the Sun today. In Guido’s column:

  • Evidence that Carina will stand by her man
  • Theresa May’s rubber chicken circuit tour
  • The ominous past of the Victory 2015 conference venue
  • With the LibDems in trouble – who do they call?
  • Labour’s expectations from Lord Ashcroft
  • Burnham’s Mid Staffs crisis
  • Fox’s advice for Osborne

There are 25 political stories in the Sun today. All for just 50p…


  1. 1
    Lord bumwatch says:

    First again


    • 5
      V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

      Cameron must go, he’s the problem and the cause of the UK continuing to be a cesspit after the deliberate destruction by Labour.


      • 16
        Fuck the LibLabCon says:

        A bankrupt country full of third worlders but Ed said sorry so that’s ok.


      • 19
        Senator Joe Mcarthy says:

        David William Donald Cameron, are yo,u or have you ever been a member of the communist party?


      • 381
        Archie says:

        I obviously need treatment. Cameron steams on completely oblivious to opinion polls, broken election pledges, by-election results and every other substantial rune known to man, and here’s me thinking that our politicians worked for US! Political awareness training for me then………………………….


    • 21
      Anonymous says:

      quality of life = quality of bum otpt?
      but to have a fixation.
      on the day of the sun.
      Here is wishing you a less demanding sweetness.


      • 285
        Oh Anonymous, calm down dear says:

        In the grand scheme of things, this makes absolute sense, but right now, it seems to be pretty phucked up to me.


    • 34
      Moaty says:

      I don’t think by looking at that photo that Gazza should be using the past tense.


    • 158
      GOM says:

      Square inch for square inch, The Sun is probably dearer than bog roll…


      • 165
        It's a bit strange says:

        Ensup making bog rolls, perfect use for it


      • 183
        Added Value says:

        But you can’t read a bog roll when sat on the bog.


      • 195
        A bellend a day keeps the doctor away says:

        But, unlike recycled bog roll, it’s still full of shit.


        • 350
          thicko says:

          heads up:
          kitchen roll is cheaper, more absorbent, stronger and less likely to split during a vigorous cleaning therefore not leaving a nasty looking finger as puppy roll can leave you with.
          {ed} can somebody put this in proper grammar , thanks


  2. 2
    Residing in 96.97% white Merseyside says:

    We are not supposed to read the Sun up our way.


    • 7
      8illy's right hand man says:

      Who said anything about reading it?


    • 150
      Expat Geordie says:

      Go on, give it a go. It’s a damn sight better than reading the Mirror or the People, which are just nasty socialist bilge spouting rags. At least the Sun allows a bit of variety – Ken Livingston used to have a column in it. I can’t see the Mirror giving Lord Tebbit a column, can you?

      Anyway, if you won’t or can’t read the Sun on Sunday due to peer pressure, try to get a copy of the Sunday Sun, just to confuse people. It’s like a Sunday version of the Northern Echo.


  3. 3
    Kebab Time says:

    Its a good one Guido.

    However, What is the fascination with Huhnes partner sexuality (former bisexual) , considering some on the rights views on SSM (including the Popes comments) i thought we were despised, unless people against SSM and homosexuality mean they hate gay men but OK with two (or more) women having sex?

    (media in general)


    • 6
      kenny says:

      Lesbians good, Homos bad. It’s the law.


      • 11
        Hatty HaHaPerson says:

        It’s what I’ve worked for so long in my long campaign for the Lesbianiastion of Britain.


        • 12
          Offa's Dyke says:



          • JadedJean says:

            We are witnessing the whosale feminisation of society in the West with equalitarianism and feminism seeming to be taking over via political correctness. Men in the West are being brainwashed to forget they’re men. There are even adverts on TV now advertising what’s not acceptable behaviour towrds women. Have you seen them??

            It’s a slippery slope that will lead to the destruction of our kind!


          • albacore says:

            Sounds far more profound as lesbianiastion
            And thus most appropriate to Dave’s great bastion
            Where championing all things aberrant and perverse
            Is dedicated to turning what’s bad so much worse


          • Extremely ancient seafarer says:

            Yes, that’s the country just north of yidland innit?


          • Extremely ancient seafarer says:

            Yes, that’s the country just north of Aireals innit?


        • 17
          Fuck the LibLabCon says:

          Try emasculation.


        • 20
          A lesbian in a man's body says:

          You’re just falling into our dirty little hands you stupid bitch. Mwahahahahahaha!


    • 13
      Entrepreneur says:

      The answer is in your question. “Former bi-sexual”. If an ugly little tit like Huhne can cure a lezzer, anyone can cure a lezzer.

      I’m offering a low-cost ‘lezza curing service” to any reasonably attractive lezzas out there. If the first sessions doesn’t do the trick, the second session’s free.


      • 153
        Expat Geordie says:

        It is virtually every man’s ultimate desire to convert a lesbian, so all credit to Huhne for managing this. It’s the only good thing that he has ever done, especially since it led to both his and his ugly wife’s downfalls.


    • 15
      Peter Piper says:

      It may be a strange quirk of male psychology, but I’d rather be shafted by a lezza with a strap on than a randy, hairy arsed bloke. Or is it just me?


    • 25
      8illy's douchebag says:

      It’s all about cock with you isn’t it?


    • 35
      R U from California? says:

      FFS, do you know nothing?

      Two men swapping spit and fondling genitalia is sick making. Two women (who must NOT resemble the Eagle sisters) is highly e****c.


  4. 4
    Fishy says:

    Sharing a page with Weird Ed? Uuurgh! I hope you took the necessary precautions


    • 8
      Bradbury Pound says:

      Guido is holding his nose – can’t you tell ?


      For the avoidance of doubt, Guido is holding his own nose, as is Vacant Ned.


  5. 9
    Desperate ‘Dave’ says:

    I’m completely fucked! – or will be!


    • 14
      Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

      So am I. Oh what are we to do now that everything we do is exposed on the internet and despicable blogs like this. Boaz.


      • 52
        The EUSSR says:

        Citizen, don’t worry. We in Brussels/Strasbourg are going to shut down most the Internet within the EUSSR, and impose strict censorship of the press.

        Dave has our full support. In fact, he gives us twenty billion pounds of your money, every year, for us to achieve this very objective.


        • 97
          The LabLibCon Alliance says:

          The EU has the full support of all of us and we all could not care less how expensive it is, or following it’s orders are. The serfs will pay up and that’s the end of it.


          • Extremely ancient seafarer says:

            Did you all see that bloke from Hacked Off on Sky today insisting that Leveson be implemented in full and immediately. They won’t go away will they?


          • Reality says:

            It’s the internet they are after, the established news media are already ‘in the tank’. The freedom of the internet terrifies them, they can’t manage or subvert it, without draconian legislation. It will come, as long as we remain outside the sheep pen.


          • Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

            And not before time too. The internet is a menace, it has severely disrupted my sex life that you mugs pay for. Boaz.


  6. 10
    Gazza says:

    I thought I was dying until the ghost of Raul Moat turned up with some chicken and cans of lager. He saved me life man.


  7. 23
    Libdem Pervs says:

    We want a statue of Jimmy Savile erecting in Leeds city square!


  8. 29
    8illy's douchebag says:

    Up to his old tricks again.


    • 78
      Casual Observer says:

      Well that explains the PCC complaint, but is one of the best D.M. articles ever.

      With such damning evidence one hopes that the police will investigate.


  9. 30
    Grollace says:

    Is Garry shirtpuller not just a talentless version of Maradonna, and when will the Sun get enough wind behind it to turn 180 degrees towards the Mill ?


  10. 31
    Technomist says:

    I don’t read the Sun.


  11. 32
    Donkey punch says:

    Taking the murdoch coin. So much for being an independent teller of truth to power. You are as bad as Louise Mensch. And as credible


    • 41
      roddy says:

      Just fuck off and pay your BBC license fee like a good little conformist spastic.


    • 176
      It's a bit strange says:

      Did you rad that one Gidoo posted about putting up the price of alcohol so that poor folks would not be able to buy it, since when has Gidoo been concerned about the poor and their finances, a total hypocrit. Gidoo only mixes with monied folks (or at least tries to) poor folks have nothing to pay him with so he is not interested in their problems, he blames them for being poor, it’s their fault of course.


  12. 36
    Isabel Oakeshott says:

    Guido is my hero

    He’s even better than me at hypocritical vile

    And, yes, Vicky is still in love with the Hune

    And I have sympathy with her since I assisted her in her fall

    And no journalists from the Times a r r e s t e d in the last 24 hours BTW



    • 152
      Legal Beagle says:

      Hello Isabel

      How’s the hubby?

      Still working for the Sun?

      And still pretending from time to time to be freelance when you ask him to do dirtywork?

      And you all compulsive liars in the Murdock Mob?

      PS He must be a chum of our hero Guido as well…


  13. 39
    Guardianistas fail to Understand reproductive Biology. says:

    Mother’s Day’s a minefield for two-dad families

    WHO GIVES A SHIT, except for Gay Dave and his metrosexual clique?


    • 43
      It is better to recieve.... says:

      You would have thought they’d already sorted out who was the bitch in the relationship.


      • 63
        Elton John says:

        I’m the bitch in my relationship…David, where’s my Mother’s Day card from Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John?


    • 81
      Stirring the pot says:

      Create a male profile on mumsnet with moniker ‘screaming hairdresser’ or some such, and ask that question there…


    • 202
      A bellend a day keeps the doctor away says:

      This will be Dave’s next crusade – making Mother’s Day safe for arsebandits.


    • 271
      JH3093840934 says:

      Every child has a mother, unless the pooves want us to believe they can shit kids out now.


  14. 40
    A Late Tree says:

    I have no idea what these stories are all about or if they are any good – I don’t read the Sun – but saving them up for Sunday does make the criticisms of Private Eye not being up-to-the-minute seem lame.


    • 46
      Keep Britain honest says:

      Guido attacked the Daed Tree Press for years

      Now he believes in it – but only on Sundays – and as long as he is paid by the Murdoch Mob -

      Simples really


      • 121
        anonymous and luving it says:

        It might help to look at the contents of the tin before you come on here, you whiny little bitch.

        “Guido set out to be sensationalist, Matt Drudge was an inspiration, Kelvin Mackenzie’s Sun of the 80s was another.”

        “When media pundit Roy Greenslade described Guido’s blog as “the bastard love-child of Popbitch and Kelvin Mackenzie”, Guido was proud of his parentage.”

        Guido Fawkes.


    • 84
      Private Eye says:

      Exclusive: Read Guido’s column in the Sun, later this week.


  15. 42
    Where are Tony Blair's expenses says:

    The Archbishop of Canterbury writing an open letter complaining about cuts to benefits. Just on an issue of fact; benefits are not being cut they are just not going up as quickly as they used to which will bring them in line with private sector wages.

    Something esle for the Bishops to ponder

    * Public spending is higher than it has every been

    * Tax revenues are at the highest ever recorded

    So where do they think the money is coming from Ed Balls’s money tree.

    Perhaps they could write an open letter to support

    Tax payers trying to make ends meet

    Tax payers who can’t afford their own pension but have to pay for public sector inflation proof final alary schemes

    Tax payers where 20% of their tax goes towards benefits

    All households paying 20% more than they should be for gas and electricity due to insane green policies

    Pensioners who have seen savings rate drop by 70% since 2008

    Motorists who cannot afford to put petrol in their car to get to work

    The families of the patients who died at North Staffs and Bolton and possibly 14 other NHS Trusts

    and on and on ….

    Bishops should keep out of politics and have a look at their own mysoginistic policies and their dwindling congregations


  16. 48
    Unrepentant and Shameless. Dial S for Judge Sweeney. says:

    I’ll be out of jail in six weeks: Defiant Chris Huhne’s boast to friends ahead of sentencing


  17. 49
    Dave the Rave has lost the plot says:

    You now all understand that UKIP is the only solution

    With Nigel, we will leave the EU and default

    Then we will alll go off to the pub and celebrate

    Politics is so straightforward really


    • 66
      Nigel Farage (pronounced Garage) says:

      But we will push ahead with our libertarian agenda by promoting selective immigration and and the rights of people above the state i.e. the recognition of LBGT rights (as apposed to responsibilities) even after we have left the EU.


    • 86
      Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler says:

      Why would we default if we left the EU? We would immediately have an extra £11 billion a year to help pay off the national debt. We would regain have the freedom to trade with any country in the world we chose to on terms not dictated by petty bureaucrats in Brussels. Our businesses would be free from the yoke of anti-business regulation. The pound would soar in value as the currencies in Switzerland and Norway have soared by being out of the EU.

      It is time for a new conservative leader. That leader is Nigel Farage. Vote UKIP.


  18. 51
    Any Mouse says:

    Bashing the Bishop, eh?


  19. 54
    Eddie Wet-the-bed says:

    I so want to be Prime Minister, I wish big Len would hurry up and tell me what my policies are going to be.


    • 58
      Empty Ed's hedge fund handlers says:

      Now come on Eddy

      Pull yourself together

      You know we will give you millions offshore if you just follow instructions

      Just look at Saint Tony and even Maximum: Imbecile making £2 million (for his Office) per year

      We know you cannot resist all those dollars (or Euros if you prefer)

      PS And send Big Len your best wishes and tell him he will get a life peerage and be invited to Chequers as a privileged guest (to be screwed behind his back of course as we always do to usefeul trade union idiots)


    • 258
      The Sheeple have spoken says:

      You don’t need any policies we’ll still elect you


  20. 57
    Obviously no expert on Muslim courts then says:


  21. 59
    • 62
      Caligula is back from holidays says:

      Come on Tom

      The tabloids live on VILE

      The people love blood and the false indignation of the baying journalists

      The only question now is

      Will they love seeing dozens of the baying journalists being sent to prison as well?

      I think they will…


      • 67
        Where are Tony Blair's expenses says:

        Another MP who lives on planet Zog

        The glee is because a couple of members of our ruling classes, who think rules are only for the little people, have got their comeuppance.

        Aswell as being a seriel speeder and a danger to others on the road he lied to his wife about his bi-sexual lover and lied to his constituents in his 2010 election material about being a family man.

        They really don’t get it – the man is a congentital liar and deserves everything he gets


    • 94
      Bradbury Pound says:

      This Tom Harris ? :

      Wiki says ‘He is a Christian,’ [!] ‘and enjoys astronomy and badminton.’
      I guess he has’t got as far as D yet.


    • 104
      Casual Observer says:

      There is nothing wrong in being pleased to see justice being done.


    • 190
      All the fun of a lynching without the mess says:

      You wait till Andy Burnham goes to prison. I bet there will be dancing in the streets


      • 238
        Samuel Langhorne Clemens says:

        Never bring your children to a lynching, by the way. The kind of people in attendance at that sort of event are usually well-intoxicated and given to the use of profane language, and there is no good reason why your children should have to be subjected to hearing all of that cussing.


  22. 64
    The Murdoch Mob says:

    We told you Dave

    If you persisted with uncovering all our criminal activities we would turn our media might against you

    You are doomed

    As in Britain

    We now support UKIP and the Scot Nats

    The country is now ungovernable

    We hate England

    BTW We are spinning off our newspaper business so that other dumb shareholders will have to pick up the losses


  23. 65
    Dave La Mince. says:



  24. 70
    To the point says:

    The eyes have it


  25. 73
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    My Leader’s speech to my fellow cockroaches.


  26. 74
    Mr Rob Wilson says:

    Dear Mrs Wilson,

    I appreciate it is Mother’s Day, but I still require my Sunday lunch.

    If it doesn’t arrive soon, I will put this plea in the Public domain.

    Your ever loving and Hungry Hubby



  27. 79
    Gazza on a dishy says:

    Where’s my fishing rod? There was a six-pack and a takeaway pizza there too.


  28. 80
    Interesting says:

    The Sunday People ‏@thesundaypeople
    URGENT appeal: Could the Elm Guest House “source” who just rang please call Keir Mudie again on 0207 293 3112.
    Expand Reply Retweet Favorite More


  29. 95
    The Rochdale Cowboy says:

    Heh-heh. They never caught me, and I was a slip of a thing. Lib Dem to the end.


  30. 96
    Yvonne from The Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    I am beginning to ask myself just what those civil servants who work for us in HMRC do all day.

    Jessops went bust at the beginning of the year .

    Today I have learned that £1.2 million of our money in unpaid taxes is being written off.

    Well Jessops had a maximum of 2,000 people on the payroll . That works out at average arrears of £6,000 which HMRC allowed to be built up .

    If you look at an average salary of £25,000 then £6,000 unsecured is a truly breathtaking figure .

    Not a squeak out of Labour about this. The reason can I think be found in the choice of administrators .

    PCW are the same people who have subbed Chuka and that Rachel Reeves over 50K yet a lot of the good assets of Jessops have already been sold on.

    Why should we pay any more in taxes when things like Jessops are going on ?


    • 103
      Bent accountants says:

      Now stop being rude about accountants

      We are world famous for certifying the accounts of major international banks before they went into meltdown

      And of the Enrons, Autonomies etc which were clearly false

      It was always the fault of someone else of course

      And we make hundreds of millons of $£ etc signing off shyt (all perfectly legal of course)

      We need Corrupt Political parties to allow us to continue our s c a m


      • 110
        Anonymous says:

        You didn’t include the EU not signing the accounts off for 17 years in that rant, which kinda gives you away as a leftie twat. Just sayin’.


        • 120
          (I don't need no doctor) says:

          Your a shade testy today anonymous, didn’t your boyfriend want bum sex last night?


          • anonymous and luving it says:

            So you agree that the EU not signing off the accounts for 17 years is a good thing? And as for bumsex, you’re just jealous you fucking dried up old spinster. It’s been obvious that you’ve been gagging for it since you started on here.


      • 122
        Bradbury Pound says:

        Just shows you how totally corrupt the EU is – their accounts have NEVER been signed off. NO accountants are prepared to go that far.


    • 109
      Bent taxmen says:

      And the ex boss of HMRC joins money laun d erers to add to his golden pension FFS

      No possible conflicts of interest, of course

      The country has become TOTALLY CORRUPT from top to bottom, sadly


    • 157
      Yvonne, from the Rat & Handbag, Tittensor says:

      Great minds think alike Yvonne!


    • 172
      Expat Geordie says:

      Just had a look at your figures and if everything else is correct the average arrears per person is £600, not £6000. I’d also hazzard a guess that the average salary is nowhere near £25000, but a damn sight less.

      You make a bloody good point none the less.


    • 347
      Nogbad the Bad says:

      The taxman should be the last on the list of creditors, after
      Employees, who have put their time in.
      Suppliers, who have put money out to buy or make stuff.
      Landlords, who have to pay for the property.
      Shareholders, who knew the risks and were still prepared to have a go.
      The taxman has risked nothing and will only waste 50% of the money when he gets it.


  31. 105
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    It’s amazing how very well off people such as Justin Welby can decide how the tax payers money should be spent. There are, Welby, people with low paid jobs that need extra money, and that do not want to see their hard earned money squandered.
    Fairness is for all.


    • 111
      Dave the Rave has lost the plot says:

      I appoointed him because he went to Eton, of course, like me

      Stop being rude about this very holier than thou man


      • 144
        Curly wonders says:

        He’s already been in the job long enough. Isn’t it time he retired like that Ben bloke did.

        PS: Why did a catholic pope choose a j3ish name?


  32. 113
    Name and address withheld, but a UK paye tax payer on a small pension. says:

    I was outside chopping wood for the fire this morning. I thought to myself, I bet Abu Qatada is not doing this, then I wondered how much it costs a week to feed him, his family, and what their heating bill comes to.
    It’s a funny old world.


  33. 128
    Mick Jagger says:

    Gazza looks worse than Keith Richards and Ronnie Woods put together.


    • 138
      Ah! Monika says:

      People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw Stones :)


    • 151
      But He's Had a "Rum" Go of Things, Hasn't He? says:

      Gascoigne is the same age as Guido, and he looks more than ten years older, easily. It can’t just be the firewater.


      • 166
        Expat Geordie says:

        He went to rehab in “Bournemouth” (actually Boscombe, which has a shed load of rehab places, and unfortunately attracts the sort of scum who feed off failed rehabbers, consequently making it the most deprived area in the south west). His mistake was staying in Boscombe, making a relapse inevitable. He even did the “celebrity opening” of the Boscombe branch of Cash Converters.

        He has returned from Arizona and is going to be staying in, yes you guessed it, Boscombe. He’s dead.

        He would be better off staying in one of the little villages in Dorset or the New Forest, which have a pub and a shop/post office, where the locals can keep an eye out for him, and any drinking can be controlled. Returning to Boscombe, known locally as Boscum, Boscumski, or Boscvegas, is a massive mistake.


  34. 132
    Anonymous says:

    Waiting for something,
    That is just in the head,
    I will know when it does.


  35. 143
    RAOUL MOAT says:

    Raoul Moat :Gazza what yer brung uz like ?
    did yer ger uz a gun an a knife an sum food like ?

    Nah Moati az brung yer a fishin rod a can o larger an a pair of pyjamas


  36. 146
    • 154
      The BBC Acme Inhouse Vetting Scheme says:

      The Sun don’t muck about mr fuckwit. Now get on your high horse and do one!

      “It’s lucky Nick Clegg has no principles or we’d be forced to accuse him of betraying them.

      Clegg caused jaws to drop by heaping praise on Chris Huhne, the lying Lib Dem spiv due to be jailed tomorrow.

      The nation may see Huhne as a disreputable toad who cost the public thousands by lying all the way to the door of the court.

      To Clegg, though, he’s “outstanding”, a big thinker and an all-round top bloke.”

      Read more:


      • 162
        Legal Beagle says:

        and of course no Sun journalists have ever lied

        Or hacked or bribed or threatened

        See you in Court vile chum

        PS How many of you have been arrested so far?


      • 239
        Nick the Horsefly says:

        We at Pervs Я Us always look after our own.


  37. 148
    Curly wonders says:

    Can Gwid explain how he pares a sage with millipedes?


    • 213
      Media watcher says:

      Murdoch told him to

      All part of the Hate England, Dave and the Coalition Campaign

      Haven’t you noticed how the Mob have changed their tune?


  38. 155
    Jimmy's Moving Sun editorial of the week says:

    Help Cazza
    FOR brave David Cameron, the hardest part is just beginning.
    As he confesses to The Sun today, he came close to death in rehab in opposition.
    He knows that from now on, one sip of right wing craziness could send him back into a madness from which he can’t escape.
    Russell Brand spoke this week about the hell of addiction. Cazza will know what he meant.
    So will many others enslaved by racism and homophobia.
    That’s why it’s important you keep your messages of support coming.
    The Sun is helping behind the scenes with Cazza’s treatment. It’s the least we can do for a much-loved national hero.


  39. 156
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve just been reading the newspapers regarding immigration into U.K. with Milliband telling us how we need thousands of so called experts from abroad to do the extra special jobs that no-one in this country is capable of doing. May I ask what these extra special jobs are?
    We have some of the finest universities in the world with very capable students.It is very insulting to them to be told they are not up to scratch. Again, what are these jobs that the Brits cannot do?


    • 160
      Ah! Monika says:

      Easy. Members of Parliament.


    • 161
      Jimmy says:



      • 262
        nigel omabalou says:

        Foreign benefits claimants can certainly teach the British a thing or two about squeezing the maximum out of the welfare system, tardy fuckers.


    • 175
      Cmdr. Buck Dynamite says:

      Translators for police interview rooms, courts and benefits offices.


    • 181
      Sheamus O'Tarmac (brewing-up in de little red and white stripey tent again) says:

      that’d be de digging of de holes in de British roads, sir


    • 182
      Sir Alex Funguson says:

      Kick a football in a straight line.


    • 201
      Anonymous says:

      curry chefs


    • 224
      Lynton "Mr Ironic" Crosby says:

      Anti Immigration Campaginer


    • 243
      Pranab Bukhertee & the MGs says:

      Unintelligible call-centre operatives.


    • 273
      Anonymous says:

      Balti cooking.


    • 318
      JH3093840934 says:

      The idea they are bringing in ‘skilled’ or ‘expert’ people is absolute shit.

      They want Labour voting benefit thieves to arrive in droves, while exasperated law-abiding productive natives with the means and motivation go in the other direction. The BBC report this systematic ethnic replacement as ‘low net migration’, and spin it as a real benefit for the country.

      The number of white people in London has dropped by 600’000 since 2000. It is unfettered white flight, pure and simple. Of course, lefties think this movement is wonderful and want to apply it to the entire country.

      The leftie intelligentsia won’t be happy until all the horrid whites are driven out. Then they will scratch their heads because London has turned into a tribal hellhole patchwork of backward mini-states in perpetual conflict, with a murder rate to match. This will be seen as “society’s fault”.

      What the fuck do the sanctimonious left care? As long as it isn’t their daughter getting followed, groomed, stabbed on the bus or dragged to the nearest bit of waste ground for a bit of hanky panky they do not give a shit.

      Anyone who objects is racist of course.


    • 358
      Knackered Clog says:

      Keep on winning.


  40. 159
    EU Watch says:


  41. 163
    Prick Clogg says:

    I would never allow the Tories to take Britain out of human rights legislation. It would jeopardise my ambition to be a EU commissioner and I have spent a lot of time lying to everyone to get that job.


    • 372
      Curly wonders says:

      “Not while I’m at the Cabinet table”.

      Simple solution – kick the useless cvnt out and (if numbers matter) replace with some dimwit from Eastleigh. If numbers do not matter, add Redwood or Hannan.


  42. 164
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP.


  43. 168
    Ah! Monika says:

    I am not dyslexic
    I wasn’t assaulted as a child
    I don’t wear ripped jeans
    I haven’t had a nipple slip.
    I haven’t had a boob job.
    I haven’t clobbered a photographer
    I am still on my first marriage
    I haven’t had affairs.
    I pay my taxes
    I haven’t got a tattoo
    I arrive on time
    I take my own points
    I don’t look as though I buy from Primark
    ……but somehow cannot make it as a celebrity


  44. 171
    All for just 50p…....?? says:

    I can buy two packets of rizlas for 50p, ffs.
    You do the maths……..


  45. 178
    EU Watch says:


  46. 184
    EU Watch says:

    This is the real problem for the Euro wrt !taly:


    • 185
      EU Watch says:

      And this is Gr!llo’s economic theory presented back in 1998. Illuminating.


      • 198
        E Watch says:

        Capitalism is a pack of cards; A Poncy Scheme that is beginning to unravel.

        *grabs popcorn*


        • 199
          Uncle Bulgaria says:

          You meant to say, “house of cards”, surely?


          • E Watch says:

            PISS OFF, you old banger. Didn’t you use to “womble” Madame Cholet after the cameras stopped rolling?


          • Global choices says:

            How do you think it compares communism in Maoist China, or Stalin’s Russia, or Pol Pot’s Cambodia, or Mugabie land, or North Korea, or Ragheadsville aka not that nice for women’s land?


          • E Watch says:

            In your tiny mind there are so few choices, aren’t there? That is why we’re doomed.
            Dare I use the PEA-BRAIN word?


        • 208
          The Soviet Union (1922-1991) says:

          Da! Capitalism is finished! All hail glorious communism!


  47. 190
    Herman's Hermits says:


    • 194
      More time off than Gordon says:

      Herman VAN ROMPUY, President of the European Council, will have the following schedule
      beginning on 11 March 2013:
      Monday 11 March
      18.00 Meeting with General Affairs Council ministers
      Tuesday 12 March
      11.00 Territorial Dialogue with the President and a delegation of the Committee of the Regions
      (photo opportunity ± 10:55)
      Thursday 14 March
      09.30 Tripartite Social Summit (press conference ± 12:30)
      17.00 European Council more information
      Friday 19 March
      10.00 European Council more information
      17.15 Speech at the German Marshall Fund Brussels Forum (Steigenberger Grandhotel


      • 203
        Gabby of no 10 says:

        Agenda of Dave Cameron for the coming week

        Monday : Reception for Gays and their wives at No 10

        Tuesday : Lunch for wives of members of the Bullingdon Club

        Wednesday : Secret dinner with Rebekah Brooks and Coulson before 5th set of arrests

        Thursday : Secret meeting with Jeremy Heywood and Director of Morgan Stanley (for retirement purposes)

        Friday : Informal evening in the constituency with the Chipping Norton Set

        Saturday : Off to inspect father in law’s windmills to show anti-climate warming credentials

        Sunday : Private Church service with Archbish of Canterbnury to show the Church the Government’s wholehgreated support


      • 209
        U kip and I'll kip says:

        Parker Von Farage, Gauleiter of UKIP’ will have the following schedule starting 11 March 2013;
        7.00 am to 11.00 am – in depth exploration of UKIP/Latvian relations
        12.00; Meeting with Italian accountant to discuss expenses submission to Strasbourg
        3.00 pm – Meeting with little women in UKIP to explain role in party and hand out kettles.
        12 March;
        Reserved for visiting jailed UKIP members
        13 March
        Reserved for filming of new Thunderbirds movie
        14/15 March


      • 221
        The whole of Europe says:

        None of which is any use to anyone.


  48. 200
    Dave says:

    They are making a film about my time as PM. It’s called gay weddings and a funeral.


    • 211
      Ask the PM says:

      Dave why have you set out to piss everyone in the country off except eco loons and shirtlifters who want to be married mums?


    • 212
      Anonymous says:

      To be followed by the sequel, One lived in the Cuckoos Nest.


    • 214
      Jenny "If you say I'm fuckable one more time, I'll scream" Agutter says:

      Not “The Railway Child” then, David?


    • 228
      Lord Cashpoint, impressario to the useless says:

      Featuring our Elton in a bikini, our Y fronts in you know what and our Stephen Fry in laddered stockings

      The wedding chaired, of course, by our one and only Old Etonian Archbishop


    • 231
      Casual Observer says:

      I do hope the film is called: ‘Nearly gay weddings, and a funeral.’


  49. 216
    Celebrity Fail says:

    He’s never going to return to the UK:

    Good. Same deal for Carny methinks… ;-)


    • 373
      Catty Comment (Ms) says:

      I see some blick berk smashed his little multibulti dollar runabout while he was away. Hahahahahaha!!!


  50. 220
    Ah! Monika says:

    It’s a terrible virus this loss of memory.
    Now hitting the A of C.

    Archbishop Justin Welby says he only heard ‘rumours’ of corruption at Elf
    He worked there for five years alongside Andre Tarallo, who was later jailed
    Part of £6billion ‘carrot’ deal to deter Nigeria from nationalising oil industry which never went ahead


  51. 227
    Ah! Monika says:

    The Queen ( Head of Commonwealth ) will tomorrow back an historic pledge to promote gay rights and ‘gender equality’ in one of the most controversial acts of her reign.

    The Ugandans will be over the moon.


  52. 236
    Brownian Motion says:

    SARAH come quickly, there’s tiny things scuttling round the loo.


  53. 237
    Dipstick Dave, the Dickhead in Downing Street says:

    Whatho! Got a bit of trouble with the bill for my new train set:

    Never mind, it’s a marvellous project to benefit the whole of London, I mean, er, the whole country.

    Must go – got to send a cheque to Brussels and to the Third World. Keep paying those taxes!



  54. 241
    A MEMBER of the 93% of TORIES who think they CANNOT WIN WITH DAVE says:

    Bring on the leadership challenge
    Murkdoch will change allegiance to UKIP before 2015 leaving the tories to fight for third place with the Grope Dems


    • 242
      • 343
        Anne D Burnbum says:

        I wonder if any of the families of the 1200 who needlessly lost their lives in mid staffs will vote labour? x


    • 245
      Ah! Monika says:

      You must live in Merseyside.


      • 268
        Residing in 96.97% white Merseyside says:

        How will we in Merseyside know who Murkdoch supports? We don’t read his newspapers.


        • 277
          Anonymous says:

          You might have 96.97% now but come 2014 you will angry like the rest of us when all new entrants to Britain are chanelled up to you .Why should you get away with having decent white neighbours when the rest of us are overrun with foreign languages,gang warfare, drug dealing,guns,prositution.child trafficking, covert terrorists, overcrowded and stinking houses.Have I missed anything out? Ed Milliband talks about Mo Farrar but omits to mention the tens of thousands of scummy immigrants who have turned this country into a hellhole.


          • Residing in 96.97% white Merseyside says:

            Seem to remember the Romanian Government warned would be emigrants to avoid Liverpool!


    • 259
      Disgruntled Tories vote to pull the house down around their heads says:

      The country needs another dose of Labour to make it realise that even useless Dave’s Conservatives are better than Ed’s Unite run Labour Party and with UKIP’s assistance that is likely to happen and if it does you can kiss goodbye to your blessedreferendum on EU membership and look forward tomore closer fiscal and political union with EU


      • 266
        Dave's doubling the debt. says:

        Yeah, because Cast-Iron Dave really means it when he says he’ll give us a referendum on EU membership. When has he ever let us down before?

        Just like promised to reduce immigration to “tens of thousands”, and then went to India and told 1.2billion people there’s “no limit” to how many of them can move here.

        From this we learn beyond any and all doubt that Dave is a liar. But was he lying to us, or was he lying to them? Either way, he’s a liar. So, good luck with his second “cast iron guarantee” of a referendum.


  55. 246
    Incredible Video: Beppe Grillo Dissects the Financial System... on 1998 says:

    “Whom does the money belong to? Who does its ownership belong to? To the State fine…then to us, we are the State. You know that the State doesn’t exist, it is only a legal entity. WE are the state, then the money is ours…fine. Then let me know one thing. If the money belongs to us…Why…do they lend it to us??”

    - Beppe Grillo in 1998

    If you really want to know why Beppe Grillo is causing Central Planners throughout the European continent to wet themselves, this video will show you. There’s a real revolution happening in Italy. This guy is the real deal and he understands the heart of the whole issue plaguing the world. All I can say is: WOW.

    BTW – Has anyone ever seen Grillo and Handycock in the same room at the same time?



    • 295
      Anonymous says:

      Is there a slow motion version!

      (A lot of joking, but his end message is the doubt everyone needs to see.)


  56. 251
    BBC tax collector says:

    I won’t pay my TV licence because I was abused by Jimmy Savile’: Woman claims 35 men attacked her while visiting the BBC headquarters. ( Mail )

    And where would be be if all the victims adopted the same stance?


  57. 253
    It's abu't time says:

    I hope Qatada’s getting the shit kicked out of him tonight.


  58. 254
    Anonymous says:

    Bishop of Dudley: ‘Benefits are getting worse’

    Of course you silly fool, the poor taxpayers are sick to death of supporting scroungers and skivers.


    • 261
      Justin from Cantebury says:

      Time to activate the Chancel Liability Tax on properties over 2 million methinks


    • 264
      Oh great, another crap Archbishop of Canterbury. says:

      ‘Benefits are getting worse’ says scrounger who doesn’t do a proper job.


    • 297
      Anonymous says:

      OK, so reduce their numbers down from 650.


    • 326
      The Bishop of Dud-lie says:

      Am yow orrright, me owd cockas, sorry, bretherin?

      Let us prayyyy.

      …giv us this dai ar dayly bred and all the money that we can get from the dole office…as much as them blokes in Barklies Bonk.

      Arrrrrre, and our kid, dow lead us to temptation like them yampy pilloks in Brummagem, but let us ave lots of babbies and kids benefit, as long as they dow blart too much.

      And show us the way when we’m gooin to the food bonk were there’s free grub for yer cake hole and people ask if yo am oright.

      Dopey barmpots


  59. 255
    Good job says:

    I’m impressed that the security services were actively monitoring Cocktada and were able to catch him breaching his bail conditions. They’ve tended to drop the ball on this kind of thing in the past, so I applaud them for their work which has caught this arsehole who’s now back at Belmarsh.


    • 269
      Dave's doubling the debt. says:

      Impressed? For £100,000 per week, I should bloody well hope they were monitoring him!

      It speaks volumes that after 13 years of Labour’s mind-numbing incompetence, we’re actually ‘impressed’ when civil servants do their jobs properly.


  60. 272
    Phil from the Wrekenton Seven Stars says:

    During this economic crisis I have lost 38% of my income .

    If the Bishops think it is terrible if State Benefits have only gone up one percent I suggest they keep quiet.


    • 276
      Ah! Men says:

      Keeping Bishops out of politics, would be harder than keeping bugs out of toilet bowls.


    • 376
      Grandad says:

      These anachronisms should be removed forthwith from the House of Lords. Politics and religion should not be interchangeable.


  61. 275
    John Prescott says:

    {Cyril Smith’s name was found in documents seized under warrant by the Fernbridge police. Cyril Smith visited the Elm Guest House, along with other VIPs, and abused young boys there. Apparently, he was at one time banned from Elm Guest House for failing to pay for a toilet seat that he had broken.}

    I wonder if he claimed for it on expenses?


    • 289
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      I’m sure you would have done, Prezza, and probably have, as I’m sure you must have broken a few in your day.


  62. 278
    Err? says:

    {The friend told the newspaper: ‘How can she claim they were in a happy marriage for 25 years, and at the same time claim he had made her have an abortion? They were not happily married. They weren’t even sleeping in the same bedroom.} Mail.

    Something not adding up here.


  63. 280
    Shopping trolley engineer says:

    Clegg: Tories ‘veering to the right like a broken shopping trolley’

    Engineer. In my experience 50% go Left; 50% go right. Funny that.


    • 283
      Tachybaptus says:

      Any direction that a Dim Lump is not pushing in is right, in both senses of the word.


      • 377
        Grandad says:

        Another Libdum who can’t drive in straight lines. I bet he hasn’t even got a licence for a pushchair.


      • 378
        Grandad says:

        Oh bugger – forgot!

        Try again:

        Another Libdum who can’t dr1ve in straight lines. I bet he hasn’t even got a licence for a pushchair.


  64. 281
    Machiaveli says:

    Kitchen table conspiracies among an Eastleigh coven is a credible tale, but what is missing is the warlock.

    Huhne’s disposal would help remove competition for some who may feel that they should be ripe for party leadership. This story yet has much further to run…


  65. 286
    EU Watch says:


  66. 293
    a dreamer says:

    Come on Dave, surprise us. Call an in/out referendum on the EU for next year. Oh and tell the pervy party if they don’t like it they can eff off.


  67. 298
    Anonymous says:

    Theresa May is surely more turkey throat than chicken breasts?


  68. 299
    Shopping trolley engineer says:

    Nicks turn for the ‘Purple Tie ‘


  69. 300
    Thinking my best thoughts Charles says:

    Why do I need a shepherd’s crook to lay a hedge.


  70. 301
    Gordon Brown says:

    After spending the day at Crufts, I have decided to switch from Nuttella to Banana


  71. 303
    The EUSSR is EVIL says:

    So will there be EU protest riots at the Eurovision singing contest?


  72. 304
    Mr pontius pilate says:

    “Former bi-sexual”. If an ugly little tit like Huhne can cure a lezzer, anyone can cure a lezzer.”

    What makes you think He cured Her. Perhaps She cured Him & perhaps He’s a closet dyke …… it would explain a lot self satisfied etc


  73. 306
    Not doing Mothers Day then sarah? says:


    • 311
      Brownian Motion says:

      One, two, three, four, six, seven, nine, eight, ten.


      • 315
        rebekah aka nellnewman says:

        What an irony, browns are trying to save the world on the basis of ‘education is the key’ and yet when brown was pm education here was trashed on his watch!


        • 348
          Pope Benedict (ret.) says:

          Perhaps it is repentance and expiation for his sins. Maybe all his father’s preaching did him some good after all. Mr Brown may have searched his soul, and determined he would accomplish something constructive with the rest of his life, with Our Lord’s help.

          N-a-a-h-h-h, it’s no good– not even I can buy any of that Holy-Joe shit, if it’s Gordon Brown we’re talking about.


    • 320
      Taxpayer and Voter says:

      Fuck off and get a job you braindead parasite.


    • 323
      JH568345235474 says:

      Jesus, click on the image and read that shit.

      Aside from two ludicrously flattering cartoons of Sarah and McRuin, it reads like the rambling of some lobotomised student trot.


  74. 309
    PRICK CLEGG says:

    “The tories are like a broke supermarket trolly , always veering to the right ”
    While we just molest the checkout girls


  75. 310
    Anne,D.Burnbum says:

    Just hope cameron does’nt order a police investigation into the 1200 needless deaths of innocent and vulnerable people in mid staffs when labour were in office.We have a lot to answer for.x


    • 314
      rebekah aka nellnewman says:

      Well let’s not forget the hundred thousand Ir aqis and our brave servicemen and women killed needlessly in bliar’s unnecessary war.

      Labour it seems are good at destruction of one sort or another .


  76. 316
    PRICK CLEGG says:

    Can someone please explain to me how we have to close our coal fired power stations or convert them to burn wood
    and yet our EU (partners )the Germans are building 25 new coal fired power stations under the same agreements ?–wont-help-planet-jot.html


    • 317
      Yeo Ho Ho says:

      Yes – it’s part of the green scam that Dave and I are using to feather our nests so that we’ve got loads of money when the Tories go tits up in 2015.


      • 322
        Synic says:

        The Tories aren’t going tits up in 2015 — they’re GOING DOWN TITanic STYLE

        They’re are fucking finished for 100 years — just like the Liberals.

        It’s all due to PC Dave and his middle of the road meterosexual effete spendthrift mates.

        Get rid of the cnuts now.


        • 340
          rebekah aka nellnewman says:

          hmmm This’ll be a statement along the lines of one term Obama won’t it?

          You must revisit it in 2015.


    • 324
      Sirry Irriot says:

      Get a load of Chinese engineers and builders to erect 20 power stations in the uk. They will all be up and running within 6 months.


    • 329
      old SHEP says:

      I think it is because the last Labour government in their look how green we are frenzy signed up to cut emissions by an unrealistic amount, far more than other countries, consequently all our coal fired power stations will be shut down shortly. The last cold snap some weeks ago resulted in 48% of our power generation to the national grid being provided by coal fired. Better stock up on candles and woolly jumpers folks!.


  77. 321
    Screwed Taxpayer says:

    Marginal majority Tory M.P.’s — have you read the Sun today? — WAKE UP — don’t wait as long as the Ides of March — DUMP DAVE THIS WEEK


    • 333
      The ever-useless Tim Yeo MP says:

      (Dictated to secretary)

      Thank you for your comment. Yes, David Cameron is doing a wonderful job, and will continue to do so.

      Like you, I am looking forward to seeing the daffodils blooming very soon.

      I am legally required to reply to your correspondence, so here is my reply. If it fails to address any of the issues you tried to bring to my attention, well tough titty haha.

      Kind regds,
      Tim Yeo MP.


      • 339
        Anne D Burnbum says:

        Sadly it was’nt Camoron in charge when 1200 innocent and vulnerable people died needlessly . Labour and i were in charge.Alan Milbum,Pat Hewit and postman Johnson should be ashamedx


  78. 325
    Fuck it says:

    Has anyone else noticed that the main groups of lefty mongs that promote uncontrolled immigration, don’t actually practice what they preach?

    How many Polish reporters work at the Guardian? Or BBC journalists or presenters?

    The Liebore party still looks horribly white and non Polish as well. Couldn’t they find some Polish cutie to replace Hattie Hatemenperson


  79. 332
    Saffron says:

    Oh what news do I hear today compliments of the net.
    The bishops are wetting their keks and signing a letter about hunger which will affect only the benefit scroungers.
    Why then are these sky faries assholes not complaining about the volumes of our taxpayers cash being handed over to international despots and to the corrupt EUSSR and it’s unelected commisars.
    The cash we hand over to various leeches is unbelievable,time methinks to spell it out to these leeches that your days are numbered.
    Under the present crowd of assholes who infest parliament and the lords will this happen,well who knows,however they will try by whatever means to maintain the status quo.
    IMHO only the voters of this land can smack their arses,but do the voters of this land have the intelligence to see through what is being done to them.
    So far the voters have gone along with this EUSSR unelected bunch of Commies,the question is are now large swathes of europe waking up as to what these barstewards are leading them by the nose into.
    Concerning The UK’s part in this we now have three parties who want to be tied into this EUSSR adventure,never mind what that devoid of a brain tosser Wavy Davy says and his mate Cleggover and Red Ed say,the EUSSR is a disaster waiting to happen,when it all goes pear shaped wonder what will be the excuses then.


    • 335
      Ho hum says:

      “The bishops are wetting their keks and signing a letter about hunger”

      Why don’t the bishops whine to their imaginary friend, the Magic Sky Pixie, and get him (or it) to provide for the poor?

      “Oh, Lord Sky Pixie! Saveth thee the Poor! Thee shall find them in great distress, slumped in front of their 48″ plasma TVs, watching Sky Movies and drinking of the White Lightning, which they have purchased with their last fifty pounds notes. Amen.”


    • 351
      albacore says:

      Who is our worst enemy in the world, out there?
      There’s quite a few contenders but to be real fair
      Unless they’ve blackmailed Parliament into traitors
      Compared with LibLabCons they’re just masturbators


  80. 336
    Fire up the Quattro says:

    Still taking the Murdock dollar. Question of trust eh?


  81. 341
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    One of our cockroaches is missing


  82. 342
    See! Even her Bananas are raving poffters. says:


  83. 346
    thicko says:

    so is that our mate Leveson ?


  84. 353

    OK lets just see if this one will work

    Hi Guido


  85. 355
    Saffron says:

    The libdumbs are now the party of the past,their policies are has we have already suspected are crap,why this party ofr bedwetters continue to exsist is beyond my understanding.
    This crowd of plonkers are all of the reasons as to what is wrong with British politics,when oh when are we going to consign this bunch of nutters to the dustbin of history.
    Cammoron and Red Ed are also a couple of nutters,in that each of them is clueless as to what needs doing.
    Well a little advice to both of them.


  86. 356
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:


  87. 357
    thicko says:

    caught it on the volley, back to the defender, lobbed it over his own shoulder, turned and volleyed in the net, fucking masterpiece


  88. 362
    Dave, for whom the bell tolls says:

    Not sure if May is the right stuff, but tongues are getting more animated:

    How long until those further 6 letters are in the bag ?


  89. 365
    Everybody says:


Media Reader

BBC: It Was Guido Wot Won It | MediaGuido
Nick Robinson’s Britain First Selfie | Metro
Endless Hypocrisy of Russell Brand | Speccie
Can Anyone Believe A Word Roy Greenslade Says? | TFA
Censorship Hashtag Campaigns Harm Free Speech | Guardian
Plebgate Trial Kicks Off | Sun
I Stung the Fake Sheikh | Speccie
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Battle for Fleet Street | Mark Wallace
Bill Cosby’s Massive Social Media Fail | NY Post
Silence of the Spinners | Media Guido

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