Friday Caption Contest (International Women’s Day Edition)
Attorney General Warns Press Over Rebekah & Andy | Media Guido
UKIP Pros and Cons | Allister Heath
“The Double Income No Kids Existence” | Alex Deane
David Nicholson to Quit NHS Next Year | HSJ
We Don’t Have Gatsby-esque Inequality | Tim Worstall
Dave Will Still Win in 2015 | Toby Young
Activists Should Ignore the Sneerers | Jacob Rees-Mogg
NHS Can Kill Tories | James Kirkup
Dave Lets Labour Take Credit For Gay Marriage | FT
UKIP Set to Out-Poll Tories | Telegraph
UKIP Spokesperson Slaps Down BBC | The Commentator
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Ai Weiwei in China fighting the taxman…
“Under totalitarian rule, no one is protected by law. We will all be the same helpless victims. When a country insists on its lies, it’s time for an artist to bring forth change.”
Ah! Monika says:
Google-eyed-Dave
Woman : Sorry Will your not my type!
Hauge : I was just about to say the same thing……
Well done 8illy
Not really. There were a load of other comments on here which have been censored. Is this blog being run by the Chinese now?
Libertarianism, innit.
Don’t worry Willy – the EU internet ban won’t cover gay porn
Will H: Ah! A mannequin woman! The only type I like.
No it is a branch of NI
They are still at it
OT
http://www.bishop-hill.net/blog/2013/3/8/air-quality.html#comments
I would!
Who is Hauge ?
Another 8illy
Can we leave? I’d like to take you downstairs – round the back.
Very clever, Werrity, now put my dress back in the room and take the make-up off.
lolal
Women? I don’t do women.
I’m a celebrity pederast, get me out of here!
I must say i wonder about people who make homo erotic posts about straight men !
Well, you should have told the agency that you wanted boys, don’t blame me!
Fuck me hairless I thought that was Miriam.
Hague: “Sorry, but this lady is not for turning”
Is that an International Socialist’s Swastika behind that Green Lady?
Czech or Slovak flag.
“Well, I shouldn’t need the full 14 pints this time..”
said she.
Squiggy, has little William been telling that story again, it was 14 gills, he was legless so he was put in the van, when he came round we had already placed 14 pint bottles around him, he asked who had drunk all the beer in those bottles, and we said you. Seriouly where could you put 14 pints of beer in a 14 yearold kid.
if only Mr. Hague had his hands a little lower it would look like he had his winkie out. – chortle
No flower, he had just had a Viagra pill
Willie Vague: Yes Madam I appreciate your confusion .
It’s just that if I DID have a prick it would now be erect and jutting from my cupped hands.
Is it ” make stupid jokes about winkies day” in playgroup today ?These comments cant be made by adults, can they ?
Winkies are little ones, what do you expect from little boys
Winkies are little ones, what do you expect from little boys
Oh, Willy, is that an AK47 for Al Qaeda in your pocket or….
…… are you just not pleased to see me ?
Worst blind date ever !!
I was going to say
“Before I attempt this, can I ask who’s in the green?”
But then I realised that’s a pretty good entry anyway
“WIlliam, it was really nothing”
Gay Sex
Let’s each take the one nearest us
Mohican, Hague? You wish – I can see there is someone standing behind you.
Nice costume Myers – if it fools everyone I’ll get you back on the team.
Sing something to distract Hague while we stuff the body parts into this holdall.
Anybody got Rennard on speed dial ?
Hague’s hands tried to cover his engorged shame, but too late, the albino turtle’s head emerged from its Moss Bros shell and took a look.
I’d actually come to throw myself in front of the kings horse. I guess I’ll have to make do with the Prime Ministers ass.
Fake.
Hague wouldn’t be interested in a woman.
Must try harder Guido.
Wht do you say that ? wishful thinking on your part ?
^^^
A winning caption — pithy and clever!
(Woman)’ I find bald men SO virile. Come back with me and I’ll straighten you out!’
Yes, I was a Lib Dem before my sex change, now I am not so sure.
Come on Ed, stop messing about.
Hague discovers that her bust measurement is bigger than his ego.
I can’t think of anything funny to say.
That didnt stop the rest of the posters !
“Bit early for Paddy’s Day, innit?”
It’s also the Ides of March, Cams beware
What a crap photo.
Woman: What the hell are you looking at, your as bent as Huhne’s driving licence!
Hague: D’OH!!!
let me guess, its you who hasnt come out yet, isnt it ? Ady. never mind, we would never have guessed (laughs behind hand )
And of course no one follows up the ethnic breakdown of the stats on femail fetus abortions in the UK.
http://mitpress.mit.edu/books/bare-branches
Nope. Blank.
the post-2015 tory party.
No, that’s going to consist of Dave sitting in a room, by himself.
Slo vak to your place then ?
Snooker my dear? Pink or brown?
Well Mr Dromey, no wonder you were chosen to stand in that Labour all-wimmin constituency. Even without having had my usual 10 pints, you look a stunna.
If I close my eyes I could pretend she’s Seb Coe
+1
Cyril, be honest. Have you got a crush on Seb ?
things were hotting up at the body language seminar
This page has been taken down :
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/mar/08/rebekah-brooks-andy-coulson-bribery-charges
But Google has cached it:
h**p://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/mar/08/rebekah-brooks-andy-coulson-bribery-charges
Injunction ?
We never beliebved in the Rule of Loaw you sjhpould kn ow tha
We never believed in the Rule of Law you should know that by now
We “clean” the web as well as hacking, bribing, perverting the course of justice and all the rest…
Guido won’t tell you if his employer Murdoch is using gagging orders
He has just sold himself to the devil you see
He who sups with the devel needs a long spoon. In Lupert’s case it’s so long you can’t lift but he wouldn’t let you eat anyway.
Well I’ve just read the cahed copy and frankly there is nothing much there that Radio Four are not spouting in their World at One news so if Grauny gets “injuncted ” (painful !) so should Beeb.
Haig: – Why aye man, I’m the fooreen secretry like, the neems Haig
Woman: – I very sorry I don’t speak Norwegian
William Hague as a mock Geordie. I am getting close to having heard it all.
Theres some real nutters posting today !
To be fair he does not even have a South Yorkshire accent, his diction is improving very slowly, but it has taken a long time for him to get this far
Censored
I’d like to shake my money tree all over your… Oh, there you are Ffion.
I win
Spad: Is that what I think it is?
Hague : Yes, people say it’s a woman, though I’ve never used one before.
‘The last ‘fruit’ that tired on one of my dresses without asking ended up dead in a hold all in a sealed bathroom having committed ‘suicide’ so take it off now’
Hague inspects the merchandise closely at Lord Rennard’s car boot sale.
Hague: “Actually, I said the room needed a long, slow vac”
oops – I thought I had it covered
OR: It was time for William to exhibit his green credentials.
WOMAN TO HAGUE : Haven’t I seen Benny Hill patting your head?
William Hague. No.
Former Conservative Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher will have a statue erected in her honour in her home town of Grantham in Lincolnshire. A plan to raise more than £200,000 for a statue and renovation project at the Grantham Museum has been unveiled.
Labour councillors had called for a town centre statue after the Conservative-majority authority voted against the move last week.
Grantham Community Heritage Association (GCHA) is behind the latest plan. A spokesperson for the charity said: “Margaret Thatcher remains one of the UK’s most important political figures. Her connection with Grantham is evident in her biographies and in recognition of her association with Grantham the board of trustees believe that a statue in the museum is fitting.”
At least 50p of every £1 raised will go towards renovating the museum and associated Margaret Thatcher exhibits, the spokesperson added. The remainder will be spent on commissioning a statue of the Grantham grocer’s daughter, which be “hosted in the renovated museum”.
It is hoped the money will be raised through donations and the sale of merchandise and “will take as long as it takes” to reach the target amount. The Grantham Museum is managed and run by the registered charity and staffed by volunteers after control was passed from the county council in 2012.
Grantham Mayor Ian Stokes said: “I, as the mayor, would undoubtedly support the recognition of Margaret Thatcher for what she has done in the past.” The GCHA said it was in the process of contacting the Thatcher family about the project and would ensure that “she and the family are kept informed at all stages to make sure they are as equally happy as we are with the plans”.
The Conservative-majority South Kesteven council voted last Friday against having a statue in the town. Labour councillors said a statue could help boost tourism in the area. Tory councillor Bob Adams said it was the “express wish of Baroness Thatcher that a statue not be erected” in the town.
At present lady Thatcher is commemorated with a small plaque outside her father’s former grocery shop in Grantham and with some exhibits inside Grantham Museum.
That’ll never win.
I believe in free speech. Except on my blog
that south american bloke that died the other day is getting stuffed and put on display apparently, so why not wait and save a few quid ? age of austerity an’ all.
That’s a cracker. Is that how Willy normally bores people to death or have you used some poetic licence?
Labour voting for a Conservative statue .
Now I’VE heard it all !!!
Bit wordy for a caption, but might as well give it a go.
Ahh, Meester Hague, I notice your flag pole is wilting.
Haig : – I don’t want to be over familiar, but can I have a little nibble on your kebab?
Woman : – Help yourself, its on the table. I’m sure it would taste nice with some of Werrity’s special sauce.
Haig :- That stuff is lovely, last night it was dribbling all down my chin.
Woman finds herself attracted to little Willy.
‘Crying Game’ Remake – This time it’s a welcome surprise!
“Rennard said this would be very much a hands on event. I’m looking forward to it!”
You don’t have a brother do you?
a 14-pinter
Fancy a Harlem shake.?
Ffion, I think it’s one of those things you told me about. I am not at all expert in this field but I think it’s a woman.
Did you seriously think that was funny ? if you did i wouldnt give up the day job. Presuming you have got one.
“Ey up, lass. Get yer strap-on. Ye’ve pulled”
We are committed to a resolution that eliminates gender stereotypes in the EU. This caption contest is therefore null and void. And banned.
David Cameron fully agrees. Even if he isn’t aware of it yet.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/9917189/MEPs-to-vote-on-EU-ban-on-all-forms-of-pornography.html
More to the point, it is dull and being heavily censored.
Hauge – Want to see my hole finger
Bibi Netenyahoo greets William Vague.
When questioned by the media they explained it seemed the most sensible way to avoid the inevitable boycotts.
“Are you staring at my breasts, Mr Hague?”
“Er….yes….I’m so sorry, it’s just that they look like a nice pert botty that I know”.
You have a crush on william, havent you. ?No straight man would make comments like this unless he was really jealous. Moron.
She does have a chest like an arse.and hague has a face like an arse ,so maybe they should share a double room to save on expenses
Lay off the second pint of shandy at lunchtimes, me old mucker.
Bloke with his back to the camera: “And this one’s called ‘sausage on a plate’”.
“And now ‘slowly emerging mollusc’”.
“‘Sack of flour’, ta daaa”
This made me laugh out loud in a fairly deserted office… (That’s not my caption, but a fact).
The Feminist Greens are sporting their new red white and blue standard…now emblazoned with their environmental swastika in the corner.
William Hague and his co-star going through their lines, before their first performance in ‘Shrek – the Musical’
>>>>I bet I would look good in that dress>>>>
Go on believe me, I do have a brain, it comes with the package
Woman : who’s a boy then .
Her – “I prefer men with hair”
Him – “I prefer men …”
Woman succumbs to Mekon and his death stare…
WOMAN : You’re so talented – an actor, writer AND a wrestler.
HAGUE : I’m not Brian Glover.
Hague: “Don’t get many of them to the kilo!”
I wish Ihad some then I would give her some, just check that with the speech writers, I think I am getting a tingle but that could be the camera man.
“Shall I ease you quantitatively or would you prefer some inflation?”
‘Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough! Oh, I see…’
Glamorous Slovak presenter rumbles little Willy.
Hague : I’m married to a woman , it was all that was legal under labour
what’s Piers Morgan doing there?
Woman : I represent Israel.
Hague : Your body is ‘disproportionate’.
I’m not up on all this stuff. Will someone please say who this gorgeous creature in green is, so I can marry her.
Fancy sharing a bed?
‘May I wank over you because Tory loonies are not wank material.’
Man facing away: Please tell me he’s not doing the penetration hand-guesture.
Other man: um……