Ed Miliband just cursed May ever becoming the leader of the Conservative Party by saying he was “looking forward to facing her” when the Tories “are in opposition.” It was an unusually well delivered scripted joke from Ed and one that Hammond handled slightly better…
UPDATE:
If Dave Were President He’d Have Resigned By Now | Alex Wickham
Loongate: What Happened in the Blue Boar Bar | Simon Walters
Lib Dems Should Support EU Referendum | LibDemVoice
Feldman’s Denial | Fraser Nelson
Obama’s Presidency is Imploding | Nile Gardiner
Miliband Could Be a Great PM | Thomas Pascoe
What Are You Really Paying in Income Tax? | TPA
Galloway’s Mad Month | The Commentator
Murdoch: Facebook is the New MySpace | Telegraph
Clegg’s Manifesto Referendum Pledge Spin Unravels | ConHome
Coalition Here to Stay | Ben Brogan
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Tom Harris bemoans the public’s attitude to politicians…
“Mr Oborne echoes the lazy, anti-politics whine we hear so often these days, all based on the absurd notion that politicians were once loved and only fell out of public favour during the expenses scandal. He should take a walk to the Strangers’ Bar. But not to sup with the patrons he seems to despise so much, dearie me, no; he should instead look at the paintings on the corridor outside the bar, which depict the devastating fire which consumed most of the Palace in 1834. And he should reflect on the fact that on that dramatic night, as the Commons went up in flames, a crowd gathered on the South Bank to clap and cheer.”
The thing that Dave needs to work out is which group is more likely to vote Conservative. Mad swivel-eyed loons or mad homosexuals wishing to get married.
May will never be leader of a party she branded as ‘nasty’.
A bit harsh. Have you never mispronounced anything?
Fuck me, what an ugly c’unt!
I’m never late for work!
I will be even more on time on Tuesday.
Theresa May & Phillip Hammond 2 more reasons why it’s illegal to marry ones sister!
Theresa May and Philip Hammond – two good reasons to keep cousin love illegal.
Don’t know what she has been up to, but she looks so wiped out.
I remember when she was a bit glamorous.
A bit dinner lady now!
The Lesbo twin doesn’t exactly look glam.
Do you mean Ed Milliband ?
SHE IS DAMM UGLY LOL
Phwoar! That’s a yenta MILF i’d luv to fuck!
You are fucking sick and you owe 10 guineas.
And £1500 to my account please for the first session
Would be a ten-pinter for sure. Why do the yanks get the hot milfs? Sarah Palin or Theresa May for the night? Not much of a choice. Maybe the other Teresa May should get into politics.
Hello Tat,
Get well soon,
All @ OO.com
Are you referring to May … or Hammond . Between the two , difficult to tell who is the female of the species
I think you would find it’s the House of Commons Lighting…it is still GAS.
Wrong. We are the pasty party.
“It was an unusually well delivered scripted joke from Ed ”
Not one of john O farrells then, who the christ is that bint in red who looks like she’s been standing in as one of the Klitschko’s punchbags?
It was not a joke I actually believe I will be the saviour PM of the UK.
Just because I have an ego bigger than a galaxy. and a brain smaller than a pea, does not mean I cannot do this.
As to my jokes I will be travelling to Italy to meet with my new mentor next week, and learn how to be both quick witted and funny.
Oh i get you now, you are all talking about the woman in the red jackey sitting next to Ed, i didnt think it could be Theresa May as she is quite attractive.
Book an appointment NOW!!
Even I agree
Angela Eagle bores the living shite out of me whenever she is wittering on about bollocks all, she has the droning monotony of a washing machine on a long cycle and is about as dynamic as a piece of mud without it’s inherent IQ.
Milibland the champagne pseudo socialist has the integrity of a kasbah carpet salesman with dodgy stock.
She looks wrong. No other word for it.
Mother of Christ!
Who is that woman ( ?) to the left of Millie Band who has the features of a wolverine and the hair remnants of the Fabricant wig ??
She pasty party you fuckwit.
The best politicians…..in the world
Theresa May…………………………………. Noooooooooooooooo
I brought in the Equality Act 2010. I allow immigration into Britain to continue at 500,000 per year, bringing ethnic cleansing of the English within a few decades. I call the Tories the “nasty party”. I am really a Guardian reading liberal.
Yes, but it suits us to continually paint you as right-wing so as to suggest the centre ground is where the BBC/Stalin/Guardian is. And anyway, 5000,000 isn’t enough, why aren’t you pushing for 1 million per year? Does that prove the Tories are still too nasty? Have they changed enough?
And next up, our special documentary on the forbidden conversations of two obscure UKIP supporters that we secretly recorded.
Isn’t that hacking?
Don’t lump me with that cosmopolitan bunch of degenerates, trust me I’d reduce your ‘liberal’ middle class to a whimpering mass of self confessing scum that they are. As for the rest of your society a dose of real ‘socialist discipline’ would soon sort your problems.
Mithter Sthpeaker, Mithter Sthpeaker
Thith ith outwageouth – we need more immigranth to make uth more diverthe.
a problem with your r’s mister Milliband?
well, yes, I do have a problem with my arse. He’s called Ed Balls. Isn’t that what you said?
oh dear! Can’t tell your prick from your arse.
I don’t know why Milliebore needs more immigrants . He’ s already screwed Cameroonian right up the Bovril Boulevarde when ( with the egregious connivance of Clegg Nog ) he voted to retain current MP boundaries thus preventing a Conservative majority ever occurring till the end of time .
Surely you mean enrichment, can you please instruct the police to keep away from enriched areas so that they can enriched each other to the maximum.
Pity the Tories don’t employ a decent script writer.
We don’t, why should they?
Great quote from TV ‘funnyman’ David Walliams the other day: “I’ve always believed the Labour Party was a vote for kindness and fairness, whereas a vote for the Conservatives is just a vote for yourself.” – This is your best joke yet David.
We know you believe that David, doesnt make it true though does it !
I dont think kindness and fairness is a phrase i would attach to Labour ! Everytime they open their mouths there is some nasty comment or another spewing out !
If I earned his money from working I too could afford to be a socialist
That one line guaranteed him another 10 years on the BBC gravy train. Welcome aboard David, would you like to create a new comedy/documentary series, lavishly funded of course, about something political?
It was so kind and fair of the Labour Party to ignore the million plus British voters that marched against the Iraq War.I seem to remember them deploying tanks onto British streets in a futile bid to scare us all shitless.
It was even kinder and fairer of the Labour party to illegally invade that country and cause the deaths of thousands Iraqui citizens,killing and maiming our own servicemen.
Yes but have the Conservatives changed enough? We all know Labour killed a million Muslims but the real problem is – are the Conservatives diverse enough? Have they done enough to shake off their image as the nasty party? These will be major themes in all our political programming.
Labour also killed 1200 people at stafford, i dont know how they arent having more flak for that !
It was even kinder of Labour to introduce university tuition fees.
Lets get it right they are the pasty party not the nasty party.
Wonder how he got a job on the BBC? Now you know.
Kindness = Punishing people for working
Fairness = Rewarding people for being useless.
What colour is the sky in Labour’s LaLaLand?
She looks rather pretty when she’s cross.
Are you Lard Rennard?
Has anyone tabled an early day motion to sign praising that big fraud Chavez?
Had mine about 0830, nothing like a bit of quantative easing in the morning
yep, they have, the usual idiot suspects are lining up, take your pick.
Nothing chavvy about him at all, he lived in a palace after all. Pretended to hate America, and our luvvies here fell for him being a man of the people
We call everyone who is less left-wing than us and Stalin a “Little -Englander” – it’s the worst thing we can say to someone – you should be very scared.
I always like to accuse anyone who disagrees with my views of being a Daily Mail reader.
It never fails to amuse us at the Guardian because we know we are of a superior intellect and make hilarious jokes.
The grauniad is the daily mail of the left, except with much fewer readers, and less arrogance.
I read the Guardian and the Daily mail, I’m a doublethink.
Mongo May Tory leader, and next PM
April 1st isnt for another 3 weeks.
How do you know that? Is it your birthday?
Is that 22 days? My arithmetic isn’t that hot . . . a bit like May’s . . .
It Isn’t? Oh shit
A truly tip top Minister!
One term Daves answer to the question of sacking that bullshitter Nicholson was disgraceful. He’s apologised has he, fuck me another reason Dave has to go.
If Cameron sacks Nicholson, he’ll claim unfair dismissal like Sharon Shoesmith and end up trousering a fortune.
If Nicholson had a decent bone in his body, he’d resign.
But he won’t.
He can claim whatever the fuck he likes but 1200 dead is pretty good grounds I would say.
Dont be so dramatic ! he didnt send them to Iraq now did he ?
The clue to what Nicholson is going to do is in your phrase “if he had a decent bone……”. He could probably get hold of somebody else’s decent bone though but.
Thousands of dead or even one dead abused child is no grounds for sacking.
Just shoot him
Show him the way to Harrowdon Hill.
OH Please DON’T,People in Harrowon Hill are very Particular, Perhaps the East End of London would Suit.
If that woman ever becomes Prime Minister I am fucking off and i do not give a toss about P45s and redundancy payments.
Good bye!!
Hello
Don’t let the door hit you in the arse as you leave.
Don’t let us keep you.
We can recommend North Korea. We can even get you an invitation if you ask nicely and agree to presenting our radio propaganda programme.
Don’t be such a Drama Queen, It will never Happen,Reason being ONE FEMALE PM was enough.
I am getting tired again
Chilcot are going to trash me
Syria is a problem for the Syrian people to resolve .
Keep out of it Cameron.
So is Jockland
We do not need lectures from an old Etonain rich boy telling us if we dare to come out of the Union we will regret it.
How about:
The Earl of Dalhousie – Eton and Oxford
The Earl of Selkirk – Eton and Oxford
The Duke of Buccleuch – Eton and Oxford
The Earl of Elgin – Eton and Oxford
Lord Home – Eton and Oxford
The Earl of Wemyss and March – Eton and Oxford
The Earl of Airlie – Eton
Sir lain Tennant – Eton and Cambridge
Can any of these old Etonian rich boys give you a lecture, as they ARE all bona fide claymore-and-kilt men?
inherited titles are an attribute of inbreeding.
Would you rather we had a cabinet of ex dustbin men ! FFS grow up, we are talking about the Government, not some social experiment giving a quota to the great unwashed.
you are a posh arrogant rich kid and I claim my 6 finger fist of fury, you inbred
Mr Darian/Rob Roy,
History should tell you “that if we dare to come out of the Union we will regret it”.
The English will however not regret you going.
Are they brother and Sister?
Good guy, bad guy.
Good cop, bad cop.
Good Bank, bad Bank.
The oldest tricks do not always work .
Some daft Labour woman on the Brillo show just stitched her boss Ed up. He’s wrong about Labour’s immigration policies being wrong and wrong to apologise for them being wrong.
Whatever it is I am very very sorry .
Stella Creasy tied herself up so comprehensively that I was worried that she might be into bondage.
She tells everyone Labour has a policy different from the Government about lending but then cannot let us have details of the maximum lending rate Labour advocate for Hire Purchase agreements .
Sad but true .
She’s a Fabian. Her solution involves giving more powers to some rebranded failed organisation. All talk.
She actually likes poor people being poor so they will vote for her while she rings he hands in agony at their difficult lives.
Spot on – +1
A question for Creasy, you have a week to go before you get paid and your skint do you 1 get a a short term pay day loan or 2 go into unauthorised overdraft for the rest of the week, now which one will mean you paying more in fees and interest,?
Mary Creagh it was. Another Labour gob on a stick.
She’s ok giving it out but completely floundered when pressed to answer whether Labour let too many people in. Brillo asked her 5 times… not once did she answer.
Another meaningless Labour apology
They all are.
Hague has just announced to Parliament that despite US declining to supply same that the UK WILL supply armoured vehicles and body armour to Syrian Opposition so there you have it the Tories are prepared to supply such to Syrian Rebels but not to the British Army. Total and utter madness. It will ALL end in tears. No doubt despite Cameron’s assurances ground forces( those we actually have)will be on the ground next
Right on. It’s only the crap stuff that Gordon had to take away from our troops and put into storage for a rainy day.
But what a great Top gear challenge to drive a dodgy armoured car to Syria and test the body armour out in Greece on the way.
British body armour and British armoured vehicles. They are fucked. I didn’t know we ahted them that much.
”British armoured vehicles”
That will be left on the side of the road rusting in two days after the petrol runs out.
Doubtful: Mr Tony arranged for them to be built in Austria by MAN instead of LDV in Birmingham in exchange for non existent redrawing of the Criminal Agricultural Policy. Nice Man. As someone above said Labour are the kind and caring party. Personally I think they are shite, and nasty with it.
Stupid goy not understand ‘British’ Govt work for psychopath Chosen Ones.
Is that you again, Blowing Whistles? You really do have a thing for the Dead Sea pedestrians, don’t you? Were you refused purchase of a Homburg hat at a hatters in Stamford Hill?
It’s even more stupid than normal.
Syria’s Bashir is far less of a problem than AlQ’s Syria if Bashir loses.
To CHiaeH & Pliny – Fact is I DID NOT MAKE THE COMMENT. However both of your “Jumping on a ‘bandwagon’” in a rush to smear …. displays adequately what utter pricks you both are for your comments.
I am “FLATTERED” more than ever ‘Thank you’ for your brainsnot in gear comments.
I feel “she” protesteth too much, BW!
Are you sure your street name isn’t “Blowing Strangers”, as you seem to like to flirt with the old boys.
Why do you consider that when we answer your rants that you are being “smeered”? Because we happen to be of the generous opinion that your hastily typed and spittle flecked replies are not in keeping with our own opinions does not constitute a smear. Unless, of course, you are starting an “H” Block appreciation society in your bedroom, but I don’t think your Mummy will be very pleased with you if you do.
Hague is bloody useless. No experience of anything in life except posturing and talk.
And drinking 10 pints.
14
His dad ran a pop factory you know.
Of what?
he has shared a hotel room
I bet they are having a good laugh over this in the White House .
A large portion of the Syrian opposition are Alky Aida.
http://www.timesofisrael.com/al-qaeda-gunmen-study-idf-patrols-on-israeli-syrian-border/
Hague a true plonker, the man who can do backflips on policy everyday of the week.
Supplying terrorists, lets hope this action is remembered in years to come and he is brought to book, but hes a politician so it wont happen, Turd.
Hague a true plonker, the man who can do backflips on policy everyday of the week.
Supplying terrorists, lets hope this action is remembered in years to come and he is brought to book, but hes a politician so it wont happen.
Too true, guys! I’d be right up shit creek without a paddle if THAT started to happen!!!
On todays showing Ed Jnr will have to look over his shoulder to check for a stalking beefburger
I still have 978 frozen beef burgers in my freezer which no one is buying in my takeaway.
Nearly two months on and still no word from Mr Patterson about how exactly the horse meat got in them.
What about testing them for pork too Abdel?
Can I claim compensation for those too ?
No. Just sell em to kids.
If you care to read the original report commissioned by the bankrupt Irish Government you will see that pro rata more 100 per cent beef burgers have been impregnated with pork fat than have been impregnated with horse meat.
The death of Hugo Chavez is perhaps a convenient way to help bury the truth .
They are perfectly safe to eat, stop fussing.
Mine gave me the trots.
You mean Hugo was kill\led by a porkie burgher?
WAR WITH IRAN
Without an aircaft carrier !
Cameron has some guts !
What does giving Muslims in Syria “non lethal eqiupment ” mean and how much is it costing?
Do we never learn?
Just keep out of it.
Better still arm both sides.
If the NHS is the “envy of the world”, why has Graeme Swann has gone to America for surgery on his elbow?
Put that one on twitter
Probably because it can be safely attended to before July 2017.
Last night on the sky paper review at about 10:30 pm the subject of Nicholson CEO of the NHS and his parliamentary answers were discussed.
I believe the male speaking was Alistair Maitland and he stated clearly enough to effect:
“He (Nicholson) can’t be part of the SOLUTION if he is part of the original PROBLEM ….
So CP continues to unravel – Problem, Reaction, Solution.
Let’s be having arrests of this miltiant group (CP) of nutters.
One of the problems with the CP model is that the networks are not either an organization or group per se.
Beyond the central NGO which provides the training courses and designates who has graduated, there is no official alumni network etc.
This means that with current legislation there is no easy way as such to dismantle the ‘organization’, as no such ‘organization’ exists.
Similar to the ‘old school boy’ networks which revealed themselves when it was noted there were hiring preferences for people who had been to certain Universities / public schools, the only way this problem can be rooted out is by making hiring and retention of those with Common Purpose qualifications listed on their resume socially unacceptable, and a case of discrimination against non Common Purpose graduates being unfairly disadvantaged can be made.
As many graduates completed their training whilst in employment, some problems with that latter approach also become clear.
Discrediting fully the organization and banning it is what is needed, combined with a purge of anyone with CP qualifications listed on their resume from key positions in some sections of the civil service, and certain other NGOs.
That could introduce new problems though.
CP have recieved monies from the Charity Commission for all the wrong and unlawful purposes that they stated as being a charity. Now if however during the reign of terror labour placed a placeman or two atop the Commission – wielding authorititive power – they they see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil and thuse allow evil to continue. Nice ‘TRICK innit?
Accountability – As clear, open, democratic and transparent a mud M’lud.
Someone stole my s “as mud M’lud”.
When I joined the civil service in the 1950s it was strictly forbidden to have or have had any connection to the communist party, and there was no way you would be employed. The security services did there vetting job properly back then.
Nowadays, it seems to be completely the opposite – you MUST have had some connection with that party in order to get a job. How else to explain eg Nicholson’s presence at the very top of the NHS?
oops!!! *their.
Silly me. My English master would have done me a serious mischief about the lug ‘oles for such carelessness!
Is Ed mimicking UKIP this week? New Labour are always about spin and public perception rather than the reality of their policies.
This week I dissappeared up my own asshole
Like the famed Ooomegoolie bird…
This week I joined the Russian Mafia
Oh do give up, even we have certain standards…
UKIP have policies, Ed has a blank sheet of paper, Dave has referendum policies he dumps and gay marriage and windmills he doesn’t tell you about.
He could tear that paper in half and put his resiganation on one piece and put his CV on the other, a shelf filling role at Poundland.
Ed’s wrong. When Saint Theresa leads the Tory Party rump Nigel will be PM
A marriage made in heaven.
Celebrity Deathmatch.
Dr Harold Shipman (Deceased) v Sir David Nicholson.
Resign you shameless bastard and take Burnham with you.
Burnham’s eyelashes will flutter a lot when he tells his lies on the witness stand
So Sir David Nicholson is the man to lead the NHS .
Mr Cameron has reassured me .
I am not reassured.
But you are ill.
Nil by mouth.
DO NOT RESUSCITATE
Allahu akbar
Silence.
We’re not interested in patients, only statistics.
Has Cameron ever made a good judgement?
Can he ever? Does he have any ability to see consequences?
Mr Cameron got Gaddaffi bumped off and look how that has played out.
Now the practice is over, can he have a go at Mugabe?
Don’t get angry get bitter.
.. with crackling, luv?
There is a Father Christmas, I will only put it halfway in, Red Ed will be PM…. yeh right.
The cheque is in the post.
I promise not to cum in your mouth.
Sadly, he didn’t think to reply: “I agree – the only way Labour could possibly win is if they demote you and get a new leader. Are you sure you are up to Shadow Home Secretary?”
Game on labourooks.
We are here to kill you.
Where’s Clarkson?
That’s the first succinct unambiguous and correct statement I have heard Ed come out with.
I think voters are prepared to suffer the horrors of Labour and an IMF bailout just to make it plain to the Conservatives what is important – as they seem to have forgotten.
That’s not a protest vote, that’s a ‘It’s broken; Let’s smash it up and start again’ vote.
I am going to be the nexth pwime minister.