March 6th, 2013

PMQs LIVE: Mayday Edition


  1. 1
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Welll…after Rick Nobinson’s comments, Cam will be gone next week

  2. 2
    Brown and out says:

    Will Ed pay tribute to Chavez? Is Diane on the frontbench? Will Dennis Skinner ask a fuckwitted question as usual?

  3. 3
    Jo Swinson says:

    I’ve never heard of Chris Rennard.

  4. 4
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Feeling the pinch luv?

  5. 5
    One Term Dave says:

    I stand on my record.

  6. 6
    Steve Miliband says:


  7. 7
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Why any MP mention Mid Staffs, and Nicholson

  8. 8
    Labour=Waste says:

    Labour still confused on tax and benefits. No wonder they ruined the economy.

  9. 9
    Lord Rennard says:

    Tracy, crouch

  10. 10
    Jason Delore says:

    The truth is that the main parties will never do anything about immigration they are the EU’s slave

    Sign this petition to restrict Bulgarian and Romanians from entering the UK:

    Over 78,000 signatures

    AT 100,000 it goes to Parliament

  11. 11
    Steve Miliband says:

    Do Pork Pies have horsemeat in them?

  12. 12
    Tim Yeooooooooooooooooo says:

    I’m alright Jack ;)

    £65,000 salary
    £180,000 exes
    £165,000 from me other jobs

    Then there’s me fiddles hehehehe

  13. 13
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Tapsell should be in a care home

  14. 14
    George is a comedian says:

  15. 15
    Dick Scratcha says:

    1/4 bonus ‘cos no ones making any money Cam.

  16. 16
    Sara Teather MP For Watership down says:

    What a twat Millifool is.

  17. 17
    Steve Miliband says:

    All on Red!

  18. 18
    Fuck Labour says:

    Labour spent 13 years cosying up to bankers and knighted Fred Goodwin. Fucking hypocrites.

  19. 19
    Gotcha says:

    Ed Miliband pwned by Cameron!!!

  20. 20
    Fuck Labour says:

    Croupier in the casino. Good line.

  21. 21
    Fuck Labour says:


  22. 22
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Ok then, leave EU then Cam. GROW. A. PAIR!

  23. 23
    FrankFisher says:

    God that Miliband is crap isn’t he?

  24. 24
    Hank the Cat says:

    Deal us another card Ed

  25. 25
    Labour=Waste says:

    Ed Miliband looking stupid here, showing approval when Belgian MEPs set the laws for what happens in Britain.

  26. 26
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Ed Miliband the Casino Politician.

  27. 27
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Angela Eagle reminds me of Miss Cod from a pack of Happy Families.

  28. 28
    Fuck Labour says:

    “We’re perfectly relaxed about people becoming filthy rich” – Mandelson

  29. 29
    the impartial observer says:

    Know you’re always saying if you want to be behind events, read the Eye, but doesn’t the post heading push the Guidoisation of politics a little far?

  30. 30
    Plonker Watch says:

    Miliband floundering today. Can’t land a blow. What a plonker.

  31. 31
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Cam scraping the barrell. Doesn’t have a clue…

  32. 32
    Fuck Labour says:

    I see Balls is sitting right next to Ed to remind him who’s boss.

  33. 33
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Fuck off BerHunt.

  34. 34
    Fuck Labour says:

    Shut it, grumpy

  35. 35
    Is Miliband a weirdo? says:

    Each time I think the Tories are doomed up pops Ed Miliband to give them fresh hope.

  36. 36
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Why choose shovel face Villiers to doughnut Cam ffs?

  37. 37
    Chris Rennard says:

    I have a hard-on fund.

  38. 38
    genghiz the kahn says:

    will any of the backbenchers refer to Nicholson and NHS lack of focus on care?

  39. 39
    Sally Bercow says:

    Anyone fancy a quickie? We’ve got 25 mins. Be quick!

  40. 40
    Frank Bruno says:

    Ed Miliband’s a flyweight. He gets all excited and blusters.

    You’d think he’d be able to find 100 reasons to attack the government but he’s proving useless.

  41. 41
    Fuck Labour says:

    Why do female Labour MPs always scream?

  42. 42
    Bongler says:

    Has Lord Rennard walked into the chamber?

  43. 43
    Fuck Labour says:

    Ed’s looking frantic because his scare campaign has been exposed.

  44. 44
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Miliband struggles again.

  45. 45
    Sir Bumley Foghorn MP (Much Ranting in the Shires) says:

    Never bother to attend PMQs meself. Bad enough being forced into close contact with ministerial rabble in divisions. Spending the morning at the Much Ranting Vintners and Tax Avoidance Company instead. Splendid chaps. They have most of our money placed with an expert called Madoff.

  46. 46
    Romanian Sponger says:

    I’d like a spare room in your council flat. Will you give me a subsidy ?

  47. 47
    Fuck Labour says:

    All Labour know how to do is yell and scream.

  48. 48
    Polly Toynbee says:

    No, fuck off. I live in a nice middle class suburb.

  49. 49
    Politicus says:

    Miliband’s drowning, not waving.

    Silly voice, weak arguments and his soggy questions flopped.

  50. 50
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Dolies = voting fodder for Labour

    Not in their interest to reform benies

  51. 51
    An honest Tory says:

    Shouldn’t the handle read ‘Jason Delore – Dick Sniffin’s bore’.

  52. 52
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Cam wants 73m Turks to join the EU.

  53. 53
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Food banks nothing on NHS failings – great to see Labour is on our side.

  54. 54
    Dick Scratcha says:


  55. 55
    Bulgarian Migrant says:

    I do better job writing polemic arguments to support Labour’s debt addiction. Article to praise Gordon Brown’s excellent record in running economy and serving in parliament. I even find ways to say Miliband speaks with authority of born leader!

    All for 1200 words each week for £50. Rusbridger he like cheap.

  56. 56
    Neddy the Elephant says:

    Neigh lad

  57. 57
    Fuck Labour says:

    Penny Mordaunt gives me the horn.

  58. 58
    Fuck Labour says:

    Someone remind Graham Stringer that David Nicholson was appointed under Labour

  59. 59
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Resign Burnham and Johnson.

  60. 60
    genghiz the kahn says:

    maybe but Cameron could decide to remove him.

  61. 61
    Jon Motson says:

    Cameron Utd 7 – Miliband Academical 2.

    No high score for Cameron but Miliband’s weak attack didn’t work and he left his defence open for the Tories to hit back.

  62. 62
    Sosej says:

    Some pig meat would be progress.

  63. 63
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Angela Lansbury doing his Ben Turpin impression

  64. 64
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Pity Cameron cannot remove Burnham and Johnson.

  65. 65
    Neddy the Elephant says:

    mmmmmmmmmmm Just think of all the jobs created in the kebab shops

  66. 66
    No term brown says:

    I stand on those plebs out there

  67. 67
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Homesless Geordies should move into their pigeon lofts

  68. 68
    Hank the Cat says:

    Has Straw justed smoked a spliff, he looks bombed

  69. 69
    albacore says:

    Listening to these lapdogs, what’s the point?
    It’s generations since they ran the joint
    Now the E U says jump; they say how high
    And please can we have some more humble pie?

  70. 70
    Fuck Labour says:

    When they go into opposition, Labour become a wholly owned subsidiary of the trade unions.

    Good line.

  71. 71
    A croupier says:

    You’ll make more money if you double it up with 7.

  72. 72
    John Bercow says:

    Claire Perry does a magnificant blowie.

  73. 73
    Will Straw says:

    Ya want some blunts, blud?

  74. 74
    Steve Miliband says:

    Man without tie in Chamber

  75. 75
    A Gallipoli veteran says:

    Good little workers them Turks you know.

  76. 76
    genghiz the kahn says:

    incoherent Labour MP.

    like the guy in Blazing Saddles on the roof with the telescope

  77. 77
    Zanzibar Sailor says:

    Who’s this Geordie buffoon?

    Labour wrecked the economy and knighted Fred Goodwin along the way!

  78. 78
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Theresa May slowly morphing into Indira Gandhi.

  79. 79
    A nurse says:

    I haven’t had a pay rise for three years and my taxes, pension contributions, gas and electric have all gone up a lot in that time. I’m very concerned about gay marriage, windmills and making sure that no limit is placed on banker’s bonuses.

    Keep up the good work Dave and Gideon.

  80. 80
    On Harman Pride's Dossier says:

    Some poor actor from Billy Elliot has wandered in

  81. 81
    John The Banker says:

    I’ve got loads of spare rooms.

  82. 82
    David Bowie says:

    I used to like the odd young Turk

  83. 83
    Hank the Cat says:

    Clair Perry Rotheram the home of kiddie fiddling

  84. 84
    Dick Scratcha says:

    NET migration – all the ‘Old Brits’ leaving this shit heap

  85. 85
    Just making sure Steve says:

    Are you sure it isn’t one of the Eagles?

  86. 86
    LabLibCon three factions of one socialist party says:


    Tory nerve pinched.

  87. 87
    CarryHole is a enormous Hunt says:

    Er why should it?

    Or is Honest Tory an oxymoron?

  88. 88
    Gorralaff says:

    What fucking pension contributions ? Sponging bitch.

  89. 89
    David Nicholson says:

    I’ve got free private healthcare he he he

  90. 90
    Dick Scratcha says:

    FUUUURKIN ‘ELL have you seen that waistcoat? Tit

  91. 91
  92. 92
    Steve Miliband says:

    Better looking

  93. 93
    ian says:

    i haven’t had a pay rise for 6 years

  94. 94
    Just playing Happy Families says:

    Not Miss Dog the Korean butcher’s daughter?

  95. 95
    Dick Scratcha says:

    HS2 = total friggin waste of taxpayers money. Dump it.

  96. 96
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Is Villiers a dominatrix in her spare time?

  97. 97
    Unemployed and skint in Birtley Colliery says:

    What is a croupier ?

  98. 98
    BBC NEWS says:

    A commanding performance from Ed Miliband whose precise questions savaged the Tory ranks.

    Miliband’s authoritative voice had the Prime Minister silenced.

    Labour backbenchers were blinded by the sunshine beaming out of their leader’s rear.

    [Ed: Don’t mention the NHS and the Staffordshire slaughter]

  99. 99
  100. 100
    Oxford Dictionnary says:

    Ed Balls

  101. 101
    LabLibCon three factions of one socialist party says:

    That’s because Miliband agrees on around 95% of coalition policy, he just can’t publicly admit it.

  102. 102
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Because they’ve just looked in the mirror ;-)

  103. 103
    CarryHole is a enormous Hunt says:

    Analyst estimates Chávez’s family fortune at around $2 billion

    Criminal Justice International Associates (CJIA), a risk assessment and global analysis firm in Miami, estimated in a recent report that the Chávez Frías family in Venezuela has “amassed a fortune” similar to that of the Castro brothers in Cuba.

    According to Jerry Brewer, president of CJIA, “the personal fortune of the Castro brothers has been estimated at a combined value of around $2 billion.”

    “The Chávez Frías family in Venezuela has amassed a fortune of a similar scale since the arrival of Chávez to the presidency in 1999,” said Brewer in an analysis published in their website.

    Brewer said that Cuba is receiving about $5 billion per year from the Venezuelan treasury and in oil shipments and other resources.

    “We believe that organized bolivarian criminal groups within the Chávez administration have subtracted around $100 billion out of the nearly $1 trillion in oil income made by PDVSA since 1999.”

  104. 104
    Petronella Fazackerley says:

    Why are there six fewer jobs in my job center this week ?

  105. 105
    LabLibCon three factions of one socialist party says:

    If the Turks were that good workers, how come their country is 95% shithole?

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    Theresa may, or she may not.

  107. 107
    CarryHole is a enormous Hunt says:

    It does seem that way.

    “I’m Dave the Prime Minister, there’s nothing I can do about Britain’s Borders”.

    So what’s the point of having you in the first place?

    A country without a border isn’t a country, it’s been annexed.

  108. 108
    Adam Werritty says:


    During the 1929 Wall Street Crash share prices plunged 23 % in four days.

    By 1933 unemployment had risen from 3% to 25% and wages for those still in work had fallen by 42%.

    Just rejoice at your good luck

  109. 109
    LabLibCon three factions of one socialist party says:

    All the top Marxist’s have private health care. They will not be sent to the NHS Termination Centres like the serfs will.

  110. 110
    Lord Ramard says:

    Can I wear me ermine?

  111. 111
    The Dirty Rat says:

    More like Mahatma.

  112. 112
    Grammar School Boy says:

    No, his sidekick did though!

  113. 113
    Grammar School Boy says:

    Er, that would be the working class hero Ronnie Campbell.

    The gift that keeps on giving. Classy eh?

  114. 114
    gramma says:

    35 minutes of my life wasted watching a non functioning opposition fail to question the PM on anything faintly relevant. Totally clueless.
    Should the future GE Conservative vote be split between Tory and the UKIP pretender now emerging resulting in a Socialist / Labour-Lib Dem government I despair for the UK.

  115. 115
    Nicholson says:

    Deaths- what deaths?
    Can I claim my expenses now?

  116. 116
    Balls-up says:


  117. 117
    Van Rumpy-Pumpy says:

    You have no country.
    You all belong to me.

  118. 118
    maggie the dog says:

    I’m spartacus !

  119. 119
    Marrow Fat says:

    It’s so reassuring to watch Cameron every week and know that everything is going so well. I think this calls for a bottle of champers.

    But go easy on the croupier jokes, Dave. Once may be amusing, but by the fourth time it has lost a bot of impact.

  120. 120
    maggie the dog says:

    Well said that man

  121. 121
    Lost in Clacton says:

    Have you never been to a Turkish bath ?

  122. 122
    ITYM says:

    Crappier, more like.

  123. 123
    Gordoom Brown says:

    Nor me

  124. 124
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    The Turkish referee made hic job application last night.

  125. 125
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    That should read “his” – got a slippy finger.

  126. 126
    Fishy says:

    Interesting response from Cameron.

    Nicholson has apologised…there was a top down target culture that led to this…other people should consider their position.

    He means Burnham, Johnson and Hewitt

    Looks like the NHS gloves are coming off at last

  127. 127
    HenryV says:

    Miliband might be an utter arse. But he is sailing through life without knowingt a day’s hard work and he is probably a lot better off than many who comment here.

    What does that make us?

  128. 128
    Anonymous says:

    And any Rochdale bigot.

  129. 129
    Anonymous says:

    Contact lenses inside out.

  130. 130
    that's craps says:
  131. 131
    sleepy says:

    I’m feeling happy

  132. 132
    A bellend a day keeps the doctor away says:

    I was with you until the “Cameron could decide” bit.

    Dave only brings his massive intellect to bear on the really important things like bumsex.

    PS – will each bumboy have a best man at the wedding? Or will they make do with each other?

  133. 133
    A bellend a day keeps the doctor away says:

    Just as well – she’s thick as fucking pigshit.

  134. 134
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Have you finished your Powerpoint presentation yet? Or that Gantt chart to plan wiping that old man’s arse?

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