March 5th, 2013

Chris Huhne’s Driving Advice at Heart of LibDem Pamphlet

“Is true that Huhne has a chapter in the new Liberal Democrat ‘Green Book'” Guido asked a LibDem source in bewilderment earlier. “No, that would be madness… He has two chapters,” came the reply. And yes it’s true, Huhne has found good use of his spare time to pen two chapters for ‘New Directions for Liberals in Government’ that apparently ‘brings together 27 leading Liberal Democrats and sympathetic experts to propose radical and innovative new directions for the Liberal Democrats.’

One chapter is on, cough, “Driving Growth” and the another on ““reducing emissions from transport”.

Two areas he has a specialist interest in.

With a foreword from Clegg, it seems his party has learnt many lessons from their recent communication disasters. 


  1. 1
    Lord Mandelbum of Fondleboys says:

    Har, har, he, har har!

    See the judge is still summing up in Southwark too…

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    First ? Or merely nearly first ?

  3. 3
    the savant10.4 highway patrol says:

    Is he in chokey yet if not why not ??

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Oh – second !

  5. 5
    Captain Gatso says:

    New directions? With these points it seems the Lib Dems are speeding to electoral oblivion.

  6. 6

    And Chris Bryant will offer election advice in it, in a chapter entitled “Coming from behind”.

  7. 7
    Randy Rennard says:

    What a plonker!

    Is that you, Ed Miliband?

  8. 8
    BA Maracas says:

    Bryant is well briefed.

  9. 9
  10. 10
    Lord Mandelbum of Fondleboys says:

    Presumably there’s a chapter by Lord Rockhard entitled:

    Women Voters – The Key to Maximising Poll Results

    Further suggestions welcome… e.g.

    Sarah Teather: Stand Up Comedy at Party Conferences

  11. 11

    Message for Schrodingers Cat – your T shirts ready!!

    (AND off one of Guido’s Adverts as well!)

    I know it’s off topic, but they don’t do a “Tell the Limp Dumbs to Fuk Off” T shirt.

  12. 12
    Lord Mandelbum of Fondleboys says:

    Scare in The Community by Dr. Evan Harris

  13. 13

    Ok lets see if this post works.

    New Directions for LibDems:-

    1. Keep your promises.
    2. Learn from the mistakes of your rush for power.
    3. Ask yourself why you need a new direction, what is wrong with the existing one?

    You need to inspire hearts once again, but as you have broken countless hearts that will be tricky.

  14. 14

    That is brilliant! What in their right minds were they thinking? Whatever next?

  15. 15
    Chris Trimingham says:

    The instructions on my driving licence application said “Tear along dotted line” so I have been doing so ever since.

  16. 16
    An Emissionary says:

    If Huhne is in prison he won’t be able to drive, thus saving the lives of many polar bears.

  17. 17
    Pants Bryant says:

    How to Control Skidmarks

  18. 18
    Jacqui says:

    How to make your sister’s spare room your second home

  19. 19
    One Term Dave says:

    A Labour government?

  20. 20
    Gordon says:

    How to be a moron

  21. 21
    Mr Bercow says:

    How to control your wife

  22. 22
    Cynic says:

    Whoever transcribed the subtitle must have misheard. Surely it should have been “Nude erections for Liberals in government”?

  23. 23
    T Blair says:

    How to get away with it

  24. 24
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    The death of the Lib-Dem party, will be a good day for real democracy.

  25. 25
    Moussa Koussa Mark 7 says:

    ….and Ed

  26. 26
    Ed says:

    How to make sense of the Cain and Abel story

  27. 27
    Harriet says:

    How to be a guy-magnet

  28. 28
    Moussa Koussa Mark 7 says:

    Monday – Defence Secretary Philip Hammond..NO MORE CUTS etc etc

    Tuesday – Defence Secretary Philip Hammond… Announces more cuts.


  29. 29
    Ed Balls says:

    How to live up to your name

  30. 30
    Owen Jones says:

    “You ain’t seen nothing yet,” said Owen Jones, chief economist in London at Owen Jones Fund Managers Ltd., which oversees about $42 billion. “If the world believes there will be significantly more stimulus coming, which I expect, the pound is likely to be under further pressure.”

    The U.K. currency slid to $1.4986 on March 1, the lowest level since July 2010, and down from this year’s high of $1.6381 on Jan. 2. It rose 0.3 percent to $1.5166 at 10:31 a.m. London time today. That’s still a 6.7 percent drop from the start of the year, the third-worst performance among 32 major currencies tracked by Owen Jones after the yen and the rand.

  31. 31 says:

    and my sherbet dabs have gone up 5p

  32. 32
    Chris Rennard says:

    Me so horny.

  33. 33
    Liam Byrne (There's is no money left) says:

    Ha ha ha yes it’s so funny, those fucking baby eaters trying to fix the economy!

  34. 34
    Brenda says:

    Careful with that licorice Owen dear

  35. 35
    Currency Wars says:

    It’s a race to the bottom, something I thought you were very adept at.

  36. 36
    Chapter and Verse says:

    Lynne Featherstone (Chair of Chris Huhne’s Leadership bid committee): Spotting Winners

  37. 37
    CarryHole is a stupendous Hunt says:

    Nude Erections is more the LibDum thing.

  38. 38
    Impossible says:

  39. 39
    Crime Time says:

  40. 40
    Denis Matyjaszek says:

    Shed Pounds Easily And Painlessly

  41. 41
    Putr1d, spiteful Labour ruined my Country says:

    Jeremy Thorpe says How to be a raving poof without creating suspicion.

  42. 42
    Twat watch says:

    Someone asked Nick about Lord Rennard. All Nick had to say was this.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Correct me if I am wrong Owen but didn’t we used to be told that a low £ was good for our export market as it made our goods cheaper to buy?
    Oh,I forgot;we no longer manufacture anything that other countries want.

  44. 44
    Gordon Brown says:

    Using Gold investments to make money

  45. 45
    David Laws says:

    Make money while shagging your landlord

  46. 46
    Candidate for the Darwin Awards says:

    A man has died after reportedly playing the gun game Russian Roulette “for a laugh” in Renfrewshire, Scotland

    Emergency services were called to a house on Hogg Avenue in Johnstone on Saturday following a “firearms” incident.

    Alan McWilliams, 41, was found seriously injured and taken to the Southern General Hospital in Glasgow for treatment but died on Sunday.

    A neighbour told the Scottish Sun that Mr McWilliams had been “playing Russian roulette with a pal and the gun went off”.

  47. 47
    Mandy says:

    and very cocky with it.

  48. 48
  49. 49
    Father O'filatio says:

    Looking forward to meeting Nick Cleggs children when they start at my school.
    Apart from atheism any other beliefs you don’t believe in Mr Clegg?

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

  51. 51
    Gorralaff says:

    Entrepreneur Alki David, founder of social networking site Battlecam, has pledged to cough up a “streak bounty” to whomever gets their bits out in front of the deputy prime minister.

  52. 52
    Just Wondrin says:

    What proportion of Catholic Cardinals still believe in God?

  53. 53
    Nick Clegg says:

    I am not to fond of Ethics

  54. 54
    It grows on you says:

    Sign on the door of the Gent’s Toilet in my local garden centre.

    ” New Children’s menu available “

  55. 55
    N says:

    Try again.

  56. 56
    A mong jury says:

    “The jury in the retrial of Vicky Pryce, the ex-wife of former Lib Dem cabinet minister Chris Huhne, has retired to consider its verdict. ”

    Can’t wait to see what questions this lot come up with.

    “Can we return a verdict of stoning to death for the infidel woman?”

  57. 57
    Father O'Feely says:

    We all do. We believe atheists are hellbound, and even though we routinely bugger children, we believe in god and therefore he’ll send us to heaven.

  58. 58
    Solly says:

    EthNics my dear boy.

    You’re not too fond of ethnics.

    Unless their immigration is useful as cannonfodder for the destruction of Britain.

  59. 59
    Gary Glitter says:

    Is there a buffet available?

  60. 60
    Self assembly says:

    Ikea pulls almond cakes after bacteria found

    First horse-balls and now shit.

  61. 61
    Strikes says:

    Buy your stones from us

  62. 62
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Miliband is not a democrat by any useful measure.

    His entire family history is one of contempt, to outright hatred for free people. The sooner both the Labour party and the Fauxservatives join them Lib-Loon party in the dustbin of history, the better for true freedom and democracy.

  63. 63
    Thick as shit Juror says:

    We havent bothered talking about the case as the Judge said that there was ‘Summin up’

  64. 64
    M102 says:

    Press blackout?

  65. 65
    Nick Clegg says:

    No I meant Ethics. The one thing I am bereft of

  66. 66
    A man says:


  67. 67
    Mark Oaten says:

    mmm *licks lips*

  68. 68
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Left ! Left ! Left !

  69. 69
    M102 says:


  70. 70
    Tom Watson says:

    Make Sure You Have The Right Specs For Your Refurbishing Project

  71. 71
    Juror No4 says:

    Ya get me blud? Dat is well what me thought he said. Easy now. Me is going to get some kfc.

  72. 72
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Fix the economy?

    How, by pissing money away on worthless green crap, third world dictators palaces or the E Spew?

  73. 73
    Cliff says:

    Get to the back of the queue.

  74. 74
    ████ 'changed my tune' Hoon says:

    The only way is ethics.

  75. 75
    Calamity says:

    Or charm, charisma, talent, wit, intelligence, personality.

  76. 76
    Leo Britain says:

    Hear hear!

  77. 77
  78. 78
    N says:

    do you always come 5 minutes later?

  79. 79
    Down boy! says:

    Mike Levell

  80. 80
    Eddie Boys Bandwagon Tour wheels fell off edition says:

    how to prove we’re a pair of c’unts

  81. 81
    Bolog Nayse says:

    It’s re-assuring to know that convicted criminal Huhne, is going to face the punishment. Even as most suspect, it will be a mere tap on the wrist compared to that which an ordinary citizen would likely expect.

  82. 82
    Elm House ex resident says:

    Got your memory back yet?

  83. 83
    Sir David Nicholson says:

    Harold Shipman, pfft, in your face you amateur.

  84. 84
    don't tell him pike.. says:

    by our beds mr mannering sir

  85. 85
    Diane Slugusset..well known labour apologist says:

    watch it

  86. 86
    owen imodiumbound says:

    ones stopped using abduls also..

  87. 87
    gracie fields says:

    am i right in thinking that some of our colonial cousins are on the jury?

  88. 88
    Justin Bieber says:

    Late! Late ! I’ll show you late.

  89. 89
    Yap yap bloody yap says:

  90. 90
    Owen Jones says:

    Guido,this will change your life

  91. 91
    Jimmy Savile (Buried at 38 degrees with a view of the sea and a school) says:

    Now then, now then, pick ‘n’ mix Gary, pick ‘n’ mix. ** jingle jangle **

  92. 92
    Gordon the MacMuffincunt replaces Ranulph Fiennes in Pole dash says:

    I’m going out sarah and I could be some time

  93. 93
    Legal questions of our times says:

    What is meant by ‘verdict’ ?

  94. 94
    Diane Slugusset..well known labour apologist says:

    we’re more worried there could be more slugs out there like you heading our way

  95. 95
    JH32940832409 says:

    What the fuck do you care Abbopotamus?

    It’s not like they are going to be in your son’s private school classroom, with the exasperated teacher trying to teach them basic English while the rest of the children’s education goes down the shitter.

    Why are lefties so obsessed with allowing mass immigration of unskilled labour when we already have 25% youth unemployment and overwhelmed services?

    Because it’s an excuse for a bigger state, that’s why.

  96. 96
    Point of Information says:

    A dominant member of coliform group is E Coli.

    Given the ingredients of those cakes, unless there is contamination in the factory where they are made, one should be somewhat concerned about the dairy supply chain.

    This has probably come in from the Milk / Cream ingredients, but pasteurization usually kills that off.

    There was an outbreak of e-coli in Sweden back in 2011 which claimed at least 39 victims tied to outbreak in Germany, and a separate case:



  97. 97
    Notareargunner says:

    Sent a missive to my Old Comrade, Paddy Pantsdown. “Have you got a spare shag as I’m on 12 points and Mrs Huhne gone queer on me?” Landed on Pisshead Kennedy’s desk. Reply reads, “Take up drink. It works for me.”

  98. 98

    Nice. But does God believe in Catholic Cardinals?

  99. 99
    Nicko Cleggo says:

    send him down for life,the basturd,oh well one can hope.

  100. 100
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

    I suggest that Abbot buy a copy of The State of Dependency: Welfare Under Labour by Frank Field, 2000, The Social Market Foundation, ISBN 1-874097-52-6

  101. 101
    Bushy Park says:

    Just who do you think is employed to look after all these virgins that the muzzys crave?

  102. 102
    National Union of Teachers says:

    it’s because our teachers’ unions have made our edjerkashun so much better than that of India or China where they still aer examined on facts and study real Maths and Science instead of doiong “projects” on climate change and multiculturalism

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