March 4th, 2013

David Ruffley Staff Saga: You Won’t Like Him When He’s Angry

Tory backbencher David Ruffley has placed a new advert for a research assistant in his Westminster office. Again.

The W4MP wesbite, which advertises job openings in parliament, often carries an advert for the Office of David Ruffley MP. Almost every month, in fact.

A Guidorama investigation can reveal that Ruffley has had at the very least 16 staffers over the last two years – a phenomenally high turnover for a backbench office. Frances Carlisle, Matthew Jupp, Hannah Lloyd, Emma Finch, Ben Rowe, Virginia Tuck, Madeleine Smart, Martin Smith, Katy Turner, Rachel Mawby, Michael Webb, Florence Cheek, Michael Horwood, George Rees, Harry Thomson and Nina Rosen have all been lucky enough to take part in the the hit series Westminster’s Toughest Job.

Ruffley’s man-management skills are the stuff of parliamentary folklore, and Guido hears reports of his “obnoxious” behaviour leading to bright-eyed hopefuls leaving his office in floods of tears, some binned after only days. Apparently, “to have been fired by Ruffers at some point is a rite of passage”. While no doubt some members of staff left for good reason, things have become so “shouty” recently that Ruffley has been reported to party whips over his behaviour. The job is still up for grabs – the closing date for applications is March 20th.


  1. 1
    Sue says:

    Is he as difficult as Gorgon?


    • 5
      Don't mock the afflicted says:

      Hang on a mo. This is the MP who threw himself under a train Guido. It is not the done thing these days to mock mad men.


      • 18
        Lord Stansted says:

        He should try again. He’ an politician FFS – aka scum.


        • 22
          Next time the driver wnats to swerve his train to hit him says:

          Useless tosser. Throws himself at a train and misses. Just tell people you’re an MP the next time and they will galdly help to get the timing right!


        • 24
          Have another go please says:

          Useless tosser. Throws himself at a train and misses. Just tell people you’re an MP the next time and they will galdly help to get the timing right!


      • 21
        Bumfuck Britain says:

        Hе didn’t votе for bumsеx though


    • 17
      Anonymous says:

      Gordon wasn’t difficult, just totally fucking bonkers.


      • 46
        Maximum Imbecile says:

        My new university course in New York is called

        How to abolish economic growth

        Very intellectual you see


    • 68
      Nworb Nodrog says:

      The W4MP wesbite, which advertises job openings in parliament, often carries an advert for the Office of David Ruffley MP. Almost every month, in fact.

      What is a wesbite? And what has it got to do with a ham radio (USA) callsign?

      These questions need asking.


  2. 2
    Jess The Dog says:

    Successful candidate should take a hidden camera and microphone to capture such priceless moments, or just break his jaw….I’m sure the cops won’t be interested in finding evidence. Psychopathic bullies deserve zero tolerance.


    • 66
      Anonymous says:

      Is this advertised as an Equal Opportunities job?
      Or do you have to be a relative/ friend / lover or partner to apply?


    • 69
      Caratacus says:

      Amen to that Jess.

      It’s amazing how piss-poor behaviour can be altered almost immediately by a jab to the tummy and another behind whichever earhole presents itself as the miscreant doubles over :-)


    • 87
      av im says:

      Hmm let’s not be hasty, I think some consideration should be given to the classic headbutt to the bridge of the nose, too.


  3. 3
    Aaron D Highside says:



  4. 4
    A Droyd says:

    No salary, I presume.


  5. 6
    Doreen says:

    and why wasn’t he arrested for trespassing on a railway line when he jumped in front of the train? Surely it caused many delays, traumatized witnesses, expense of emergency services etc. Normal people have been charged in the past so why not an MP


    • 15
      Anonymous says:

      The answer was in your question.


    • 60
      Glyn H says:

      Agree; all very sad but he should have retired to private life. It is ludicrous to think you can represent other people when you have demonstrated that you are unable to control your own life.


  6. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Heading towards top end of 20s is nearer the mark. Two researchers in Sepetember haven’t made it past 3 days and weren’t ‘in the system’ before running away.


  7. 8
    olivia says:

    I think neo guido should apply

    He might learn how to behave


  8. 12
  9. 13

    Highly motivated, high calibre, forward thinking leadership, strategic dicipline, with a touch of pioneering, versatile, logical thinking ability to respond to a challenge. Cry cushion provided, free.


  10. 14
    Eric Joyce says:

    Can I apply for the job just so I can deck the twat?


    • 19
      Trying to line up useful candidates says:

      Or we could somebody with a punch and a short fuse to apply. Is Mike Tyson gainfully employed at the moment?

      The bully would think twice about opening his job if he tried it on somebody like Iron Mike.

      Martin Johnson doesn’t seem to be doing much either.

      Any othe thoughts guidists?


  11. 16
    Anonymous says:

    Ha ha. I applied for that job once. Looks like I had a lucky escape!


  12. 23
    Jimmy says:

    Actually all the backbenchers have been told to do this so that Gideon can count them as new jobs.


  13. 25
    David Rufflley MP says:

    I’m looking for a new platform to re-launch my political career!


  14. 26
    Lily Savage MP says:

    David, have you met my daughter?


  15. 27
    Casual Observer says:

    He is the member for Bury St Edmunds with a 21% majority over the Lib Dems.

    Last year he had a pop at Fitch rating agencies last year at a Treasury select committee hearing:

    Would be great if a by-election could be triggered by another suicide attempt.

    Keep up the pressure boys, we need UKIP in.


    • 48
      Bumfuck Britain says:

      To be fair, I would agree with him that the ratings agencies. who awarded sub-prime CDOs triple-A, are about as reliable as tits on a fish.


      • 57
        Curly says:

        Moodys are off for the moment, but the other two protagonists will respond once their prosecutions for financial misfeasance have been completed (that is if there is anybody still out of jail able to do so).


        • 80
          Indian Guide says:

          Moody’s have just congratulated India on its new budget.
          I suspect that Moody’s are feeling a little low in esteem to stoop to this antic when the Indian economy is not expected to grow by more than 5% this year.


      • 59
        Casual Observer says:

        True. But Fitch is not the top rating for sovereign debt. That you need to speak more to S&P and Moodys about.

        This is one reason why his little rant was misguided.

        Secondly, when you are fiddling LIBOR to keep your financial sector looking good, as came out publicly a little after this performance, it is not a good idea to go throwing stones.

        Regrettably he made a complete idiot of himself, and in front of a weasel like Riley that was impressive.

        To the article’s point though, if that is how he behaves in select committee, I do feel for his research assistants. It is fine to be abrasive if you are informed, but he is ill informed and abrasive because he is insane.


    • 86
      Hatethelotofthem says:

      Yes, he did have a go at the guy fro, Fitch and was incredibly rude to him. The irony was that it was Ruffley who was wrong. He hectored the guy from Fitch about not knowing what “his” organisation had written but it later turned out that the report that Ruffley was waving around was authored by another agency (Moodys). The rather timid looking bloke from Fitch unfortunately didn’t realise this at the time or was too polite to say anything and so just took the abuse


  16. 28
    Hansard reporte says:

    He s an ex solicitor and ex Spad to Ken Clarke

    Two strikes against him

    And he does not seem to have got over the Train Incident


  17. 29
    Vague Gaygue says:

    It may,possibly,be necessary, at some time, to think about imposing benefit restictions on Romanians and Bulgarians. Is that tough enough?


    • 35
      Prof. International Human Rights Law says:

      Not without agreeing a common exemption on the ECHR (derogation if you must know). So it’s all blue-sky thinking politics, destined to be bridled by the forces of Liberalism. And not in a nice way.


    • 41
      Abu Qatada says:

      Don’t pay them one red cent


  18. 30
    Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill says:

    They may be bright-eyed, but that’s not asking the right questions from our perspective. The main question is are they bushy tailed, or pink fluff at the worse?


  19. 31
    Gordon Brown says:

    I would not get out of bed for less than £2m


  20. 32
    An English MP? says:


    • 33
      Diane Abbotapotamus says:

      But don’t use any sugar.


    • 43
      Diane Slugusset..well known labour apologist says:

      you should tell us what proportions of vaz oil and slime you use yourself


      • 51
        Diane Bendy Abbott says:

        I just strip off, bend riiiiight over and wibble my head in my love flaps.
        You just know that’s going to be a retained image.


    • 61
      Curly says:

      Spare afro picks are available at the local hardware store. They are also sometimes known as spades.


  21. 34
    pissed off voter says:

    Have any of them made a complaint? Indeed, would they have any access to a route of complaint without damaging consequences, either career or personal?

    Sounds to me that there may be similarities to the Rennard fiasco, albeit without the sexual aspect – possibly.


    • 42
      hold them to ac says:

      As a complete non-job unless you have the tentacles of an octopus and the will to work of a political beast, competence is restricted to those with more Mandarin in them than Stephen Milligan. Very challenging, especially for such a beast of a backbencher it would seem, desperate to win friends and influence people and willing to pay good money for it.


    • 84
      torytwats says:

      Junior positions have no power. AS long as he didn’t grab their tits or be racialist he’s probably ok. Protection against unfair dismissal is now 2 years thanks to Gideon and Dave.


  22. 36
    Big John Bercow says:

    If we give you two million could you turn up for work occasionally?


  23. 39
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    David Ruffley MP, or Det Insp George Gently– your choice.
    It all depends on what you’re into, I suppose.


  24. 44
    Lord Rennard says:

    He’s not looking after his bitches. Send them to me and I’ll show them what a real man can do.


  25. 45
    Hulk says:

    Hulk Smash


  26. 47
    Penfold says:

    Poor things.

    Hasn’t London’s finest been summoned to arrest and investigate Ruffer’s, No, good grief they’ve missed an opportunity there.


  27. 49
    Anonymous says:

    I dislike Tories but while he sounds like a bad employer I tend to think it is worse to use a webiste to get at someone who has already tried to commit suicide due to mental health problems.


    • 62
      the impartial observer says:

      Probably intended to encourage Ruffley to readdress his personal issues.


  28. 50
    Bumfuck Britain says:

    Has the Pryce trial disappeared down a sinkhole without trace?


  29. 52
    Diversity Re-education Officer says:

    A disturbing list of hideously English sounding staff. Ruffley to report to re-education camp immediately.


    • 54
      Hard southerner says:

      Could it be that 5% of London’s asians and black people would classify themselves as ready to work for such a party, in a servile way. I can’t honestly say I blame them, as would smack of empire days, serving English money-making in a research capacity. 50% would be an MP though so don’t say the tories are racist. My money’s on Afriyie or Kwarteng to lead as they’re not such victims with the BBC · Bollucks broadcasting corporation. After a UKIP win or breakthrough and a poor Lib-Lab coalition.


  30. 56
    Chris The Leatherman says:

    An interesting spot by Casual Observer. A nasty piece of work, probably due to social inaduequacies. Surprising that Bury St. Edmunds Conservative Association would want him as their candidiate.


  31. 63
    Anonymous says:

    As one of the ex-staffers listed above, thank God this is finally all out. The man was a nightmare, bordering on physically violent at times – especially toward small, female staff – and totally unfit to be an MP.


    • 67
      Anonymous says:

      Agreed! As one of the many people who has worked for him but didn’t make the list, I totally agree. This needs to be taken much more seriously.

      There are many more people who have worked for him but never made it into the system. I would say the figure is much higher than 16.


      • 70
        A.N.Other says:

        I am going to apply for a laugh. I see a challenge here. Just to get to an interview with the smug fool would be entertainment value. Coming from a much tougher working environment than this – this guy is fish food.


      • 71
        RuffJustice says:

        A friend of mine works a couple of doors down from Ruffley and tells me that the list is nearer to 30. certainly north of 25 since what Ruffley apparently describes as his ‘accident’. An FOI request to IPSA would probably achieve the full list of names. I’m told that walking past Ruffley’s office will more often than not result in you hearing the noises of a deranged lunatic screaming at his staff.


    • 82
      The Berator says:

      Interesting that today Lord Sugar is reported to have rowed with Dirty Desmond and chased him round the board room table.
      Both of them swearing fit to burst.
      Cowardly bullies in business and politics seem to be on a huge surge.


    • 88
      I worked for the Worst Behaved MP says:

      Yes I totally agree: he is completely mentally unstable and should not be allowed to be on his own in an office with staff. There ought to be a ‘Staff Protection Officer’ constantly on guard and as soon as he steps out of line he should be reported and defrocked as an MP. He has got away with mental abuse for far too long. When I worked for him he would make his staff puce with shame and humiliation and use the c*** word quite liberally.


  32. 65
    Anonymous says:

    I went for an interview with him years ago. I didn’t get the job and was probably not suited to it anyway, to be honest my answers to his questions were awful.
    I have to say though, it was the worst interview I’ve ever had, and actually made me quite scared of interviews. I felt like running out of the room and hiding somewhere.


  33. 73
    Anonymous says:

    No mention of needing to be a tory.

    Obviously the man insists on quality employees: no incompetent brainless tory riff raff wanted.


  34. 76
    Anonymous says:

    Clearly unfit for public office but all covered up. As a close friend of one of the named, I really do feel for all affected by this man. He is obviously not mentally fit since his ‘incident’ and I suppose you could make light of the situation. However from personal experience this man would have changed all 16 of their lives for the worst and needs to accept personal responsibility for his mental state.

    If what happened to my friend happened in the private sector then they would have a multi million pound lawsuit.


  35. 77
    Great Granddad:Prime Minister in Waiting, New Utopia Party says:

    I might try for that job if my application for manager of Chelsea F.C. gets turned down.


  36. 78
    Tosspot says:

    Come on Guido, what perks has Huhne Tune walked away with ?


  37. 85

    Another reason why all parties need to give serious thought to the candidates they have. MPs really should be evolved people who inspire. The private sector is successfully moving from a culture of fear to one of inspiration, and parliament tries to lead, yet in this regard it is following.

    That bar needs to be raised on candidate slection. Or MPs need to be able to disciplined just as well as those in the private sector would be.

    As someone said above people are adversely affected by such bebaviour and it holds our society back. Darkness in govenment is not good.

    I have had my own run ins with a Tory politician in the past and life can get unpleasant when you cross them. Especially when like me you take one aside and suggest that their behaviour amounts to bullying (of a third party) and that it really should stop. Gee did I pay for that.


  38. 89
    LMD says:

    Suffers from Little Man Disease and well known for it. Has history of being a shouty little man and pissing people off. Ask some of the former members of his constituency about his sense of over-importance. Not surprising that anyone wants to work for him given his attitude.


  39. 91
    sane normal person says:

    hes dodgy looks like a pervert to me.


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