March 3rd, 2013

Download the Free Guido App Today


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    Will do soon :)


  2. 2
    Fuck it says:

    Does it try to block your IP address like this site does?


  3. 7

    Would love to but it isnt free on kindlefire.


  4. 9

    Brilliant. Love it. Will probably use it all the time!


    • 46
      We are all exactly the same as you here says:

      20-something basket case. Feminist, left-winger, spiritual atheist, blogger and student.



  5. 11
    app this mutha fucka says:

    Does anybody know how to make this work on an iProd?


  6. 15
    STC says:

    Will it work on my Trimphone®?


  7. 16
    Casual Observer says:

    A list of tight seats, < 2% majorities held since 2010 GE.

    The conservative seats are particularly fragile with the rise of UKIP:

    2010 Election: Marginal Seats, <= 2% Majority
    Constituency             |MP (Party)                 |Majority / Over 
    Warwickshire North       |           Byles, Dan (Con)|Con: 0.11% / Lab
    Camborne & Redruth       |      Eust!ce, George (Con)|Con: 0.16% / LD 
    Thurrock                 |  Doyle-Price, Jackie (Con)|Con: 0.20% / Lab
    Hendon                   |      Offord, Matthew (Con)|Con: 0.23% / Lab
    Oxford West & Abingdon   |    Blackwood, Nicola (Con)|Con: 0.32% / LD 
    Cardiff North            |      Evans, Jonathan (Con)|Con: 0.41% / Lab
    Sherwood                 |        Spencer, Mark (Con)|Con: 0.43% / Lab
    Stockton South           |       Wharton, James (Con)|Con: 0.66% / Lab
    Broxtowe                 |         Soubry, Anna (Con)|Con: 0.74% / Lab
    Lancaster & Fleetwood    |    Ollerenshaw, Eric (Con)|Con: 0.78% / Lab
    Truro & Falmouth         |        Newton, Sarah (Con)|Con: 0.90% / LD 
    Newton Abbot             |   Morris, Anne Marie (Con)|Con: 1.09% / LD 
    Amber Valley             |         Mills, Nigel (Con)|Con: 1.16% / Lab
    Waveney                  |        Aldous, Peter (Con)|Con: 1.50% / Lab
    Wolverhampton South West |          Uppal, P@ul (Con)|Con: 1.72% / Lab
    Harrogate & Knaresborough|        Jones, Andrew (Con)|Con: 1.95% / LD 
    Morecambe & Lunesdale    |        Morris, David (Con)|Con: 1.99% / Lab
    Solihull                 |          Burt, Lorely (LD)|LD: 0.32% / Con 
    Dorset Mid & Poole North |       Brooke, Annette (LD)|LD: 0.58% / Con 
    Norwich South            |         Wright, Simon (LD)|LD: 0.65% / Lab 
    Bradford East            |           Ward, David (LD)|LD: 0.90% / Lab 
    Wells                    |           Munt, Tessa (LD)|LD: 1.43% / Con 
    Hampstead & Kilburn      |      Jackson, Glenda (Lab)|Lab: 0.08% / Con
    Bolton West              |       Hilling, Julie (Lab)|Lab: 0.19% / Con
    Ashfield                 |     De Piero, Gloria (Lab)|Lab: 0.39% / LD 
    Sheffield Central        |      Blomfield, P@ul (Lab)|Lab: 0.40% / LD 
    Southampton Itchen       |         Denham, John (Lab)|Lab: 0.43% / Con
    Edinburgh South          |          Murray, Ian (Lab)|Lab: 0.72% / LD 
    Chesterfield             |        Perkins, Toby (Lab)|Lab: 1.20% / LD 
    Wirral South             |     McGovern, Alison (Lab)|Lab: 1.33% / Con
    Derby North              |    Williamson, Chris (Lab)|Lab: 1.36% / Con
    Swansea West             |Davies, Geraint (Lab/Co-op)|Lab: 1.42% / LD 
    Dudley North             |          Austin, Ian (Lab)|Lab: 1.68% / Con
    Hull North               |       Johnson, Diana (Lab)|Lab: 1.92% / LD 
    Rochdale                 |       Danczuk, Simon (Lab)|Lab: 1.94% / LD 

    17 Conservative
    13 Labour
    5 Lib Dem

    For the Conservatives, it is worth noting that George Eust!ce is a member of the 1922 Committee.


    • 18
      Kebab Time says:

      Excellent work CO.


    • 19
      Erskine May says:

      That pre is very useful. You will be doing bold soon at this rate!


    • 30
      amongymous says:

      Really interesting – I didn’t realise that so many were that close. UKIP could easily decide the fate of the conservatives. Cameron has never disguised that he is a Blairite social-liberal who is ardently pro-EU so I see little difference if we have Militwat and Balls in. Every year more than half a million invaders arrive – the Tories won’t stop this so what’s the point of them?


      • 34
        theDuchyofspitebeast says:

        They have better dress sense than socialists !
        Ju ook at that necklace worn by war criminal Blair


        • 62
          Anonymous says:

          juju if u want.

          जी is compliant.
          oh.m 1.




          before 1 it was all about zero…..nothing.
          what is one if not the creator of truth?
          the mightier the 7, the greater the pawaar.
          7 could have the pawaar of a ferrari.


      • 38
        Casual Observer says:

        See previous thread to get some idea of what UKIP would do in the SE of England, if the Eastleigh performance was repeated in GE tomorrow.

        NB: It is a very crude analysis, but essentially 8 conservative seats would be lost to Labour, UKIP would nudge into second in most SE constituencies. Demonstrates the problem of the vote being split, which is why it is important for people now to make up their mind which they consider to be the conservative party: either the Conservatives (center left liberal under Dave) or UKIP (center right libertarian).

        It would require only less than 0.5% further shift away from Conservatives to start getting UKIP seats in the SE.

        Am working on some of the other regions doing similar with the 2012 by-election results.

        There was one other tight seat at 2010 GE: Oldham East and Saddleworth. The GE result was declared void, and the seat was retained with a 10% Labour majority over Lib Dems in the Jan 2011 by-election.


  8. 21
    theDuchyofspitebeast says:

    Hairy Hole needs some topiary

    Is it true that HMQ has died?
    If so its wonderful and we get some fantastic memorial biscuits in Waitrose


  9. 32
    One Term Dave says:

    It’s nearly 9 o’ clock and I’m still Prime Minister!


  10. 37
    Polly is such a caring Lefty. NOT!!!! says:


  11. 41
    Rabbi Chaim Weiner says:

    Blowing Whistles is a hоlоcaust denier. He will be cut down tonight if he dare show his face.


  12. 43
    Saffron says:

    You Kip to me are the party who will kill off the other three parties of traitors we have presently in this land.
    They are the only party who are saying it what it is like,have they gelleld as to what the public expect well yes they have and that is why a message is being posted to the british public that enough is enough.
    Politicians of all breeds in british now are nothing more than troughers feeding off us.
    Will the british public realise this,well probably not,and so we will be into a rough time ahead.


    • 52
      No steps forward 100 steps back says:

      Camoron on tv being a big brave boy, nothing will change, he’s twisting his handbag over his head trying to sound hard but with that yellow streak getting in the way, 2015 Camoron you lose, we lose, because your lunatic mates in Liebour will get in, but as there’s no money tree, no hope, no savings and millions of immigrants with their hands out wanting free money and we have only the Liverpool pathway and Stafford to bother us, who cares, the country is dying and you and your mates are to blame.


  13. 47
    albacore says:

    Has the N H S got special dispensation
    From abiding by criminal legislation?
    Are hospitals places where murder’s not a crime
    And nothing more than one way of passing your time?
    If the staff can do it with complete immunity
    Can you walk in with a shotgun and join in the spree?


    • 53
      Who drank my William Beveridge? says:

      The NHS is wonderful if you ask our populi vox
      You go in feeling healthy and come out in a box.


    • 68
      The Public Are Generally Law-Abiding Even If Politicians Aren't says:

      If the government doesn’t start bringing charges for murder through the UK courts soon i think some citizen is gong to have to report Burnham directly to the International Criminal Court in the Hague.


      • 70
        Casual Observer says:

        Burnham should be reported in any case.

        It does appear though that before the NHS and child abuse stuff is prosecuted, the government really wants to close the courts to the public.

        That should not be allowed to happen.

        In an free and open democracy there is absolutely no justification for in-camera courts.


        • 84
          Tachybaptus says:

          However, we are in an oligarchy that presents the appearance of a democracy by giving us a choice of three near-identical parties, and it is about as open as a submarine with the hatches welded shut.


  14. 50
    C Knellswear says:

    d’Ancona’s really lost the plot.
    It ain’t looking good for the UsedtobetheTorygraph.


  15. 65
    Casual Observer says:
           Guido Seven Up
     Total Visitors Past 10 weeks
    180000 ┌                    
    162000 ├                    
    144000 ├             █      
    126000 ├     █     ▄ █     ▄
    108000 ├   █ █ █ █ █ █ █ ▄ █
    090000 ├   █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █
    072000 ├   █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █
    054000 ├ ▄ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █
    036000 ├ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █
    018000 ├ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █
    000000 ┼─▀─▀─▀─▀─▀─▀─▀─▀─▀─▀
    20121229 thru 20130302 
    Busiest Week: 20130209 (149455)
    - Toby Helm’s Twitter Spat With Gove SpAds
    Quietest Week: 20121229 (53289)
    - New years.


    • 78
      Tachybaptus says:

      A tasty bit of ASCII art. Reminds me of when all bar graphs looked like that, and the world was yoing.

      There is something special about the Seven Up post, I think, which is that almost no one reads the text of the post. They’ve read the original posts and don’t want to read them again. Therefore they open this post purely so that they can have a look at, and add to, the comments — an agreeable pub fight to pass an idle moment when you’re back from the real pub fight.

      Guido told me that he thinks only 50 people care about the comments. I think he’s wrong about that, and that the number of readers of Seven Up demonstrates it.


      • 79
        Tachybaptus says:

        … and the world was young. But it was yoing too. I was there.


      • 85
        Casual Observer says:

        A mere bagatelle in Excel. Line plot is next on the list, ala gnu plot.

        I would agree with you on the 50 count. If only 1% of the site visitors skim the comments, then that is > 1000 / week reading them. I would suspect more than 1% do read.

        As people consume internet blogs more, they will start looking at the comments more. Same deal with the news sites.

        Combined with a harvest from Twitter every now and then you get the presented story, and the combined impartial insight of many others.

        This is a powerful way of building knowledge fast, especially if combined with a good indexing system.


      • 90
        Arfur Bowden (no relation) ASCII says:

        Hello playmates – let me bring you a little sunshine …
        Here before your very eyes :

                    ( ////;)  
                  ('.;'//`. )
                ⌉  A S K E Y  ⌈
                  \  ! ! !  /
                    \ !!! /


      • 91
        Arfur Bowden (no relation) ASCII says:

        Hello playmates – let me bring you a little sunshine …
        Here before your very eyes :

                    ( ////;)  
                  ('.;'//`. )
                ⌉  A S K E Y  ⌈
                  \  ! ! !  /
                    \ !!! /


    • 102
      JabbaTheCat says:

      I like this one…

      ……..(‘(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)
      ……….”…\………. _.·´


  16. 71
    Owin Jones says:

    The latest front in Operation Divide and Rule sees soldiers being used to fight a political battle


  17. 74
    Casual Observer says:

    Farage on Marr show today (3/3/2013), if anyone missed it:


    • 103
      JabbaTheCat says:

      Yep, yet again Ukip fails to win a seat…


      • 109
        Catty Comment (Ms) says:

        But more than three times as many people voted Against the winner than for him. So how can he claim to have a mandate to represent their views?

        Isn’t our ‘democracy’ wonderful?


  18. 76
    Drone Pilot says:

    What happened to that Assange Chap?


  19. 77
    EU Watch says:

    An article on Gillo from back in 2005, about the time he was starting with 5-Star:,9171,1112803,00.html


    • 80
      EU Watch says:

      Documentary from 2008 on Grillo:

      NB: He got to where he is now by starting a blog as a reaction against !taly’s political class. A blog a little like this one, but with more humor focus. ;-)


      • 86
        EU Watch says:

        Not an OCD post, but another good article on Grillo concerning his announcement about !taly and exit strategy from the Euro:

        The Pew poll included is instructive. Of Greece, France, Germany, Spain and !taly, !taly is least in favour of keeping the Euro, and most in favor of returning to national currency.

        The desire to return to the Lira is not new in !taly though.

        From 2005, on Jun 3rd:

        ‘Roberto Maron!, Mr Berluscon!’s social security minister and a joint acting leader of the Northern League, said his party would start collecting signatures for a referendum on the issue later this month. He also appealed for the process of ratifying the EU constitution to be halted.’

        – Guardian article: h**p://


  20. 81
    Back in the EUSSR says:

    David Camorons ” Conservatives ” a right bunch of opportunisic pricks dont you think ?


  21. 82
    bendy says:

    it’s always good to pop in to fascist daily and check out what the looney mobsters are up to – banning human rights next hey – what an utter load of shity tospotsthere are


    • 83
      Back in the EUSSR says:

      You sound like a typical stupid c unt who believes torture and illegality ran rampant before the introduction of the completely unecessary ECHR. Tell what did we lack before its introduction ?


      • 88
        Jimmy says:

        Perhaps Britain will have the courage to stand shoulder to shoulder with fantastically democratic Republic of Belarus, currently the only European country brave enough to reject the Convention.


        • 89
          Jimmy says:

          I forgot Kazakhstan. Sorry Borat.


        • 93
          Tachybaptus says:

          A convention on human rights that actually served the interest of the rights of humans would be a wonderful thing that any decent person could support wholeheartedly. A convention that goes to great lengths to to protect the perpetrators of violence and ignores their victims is another matter. Those who still support it do so largely to avoid rocking the boat. But the boat is sinking.


          • Jimmy says:

            “A convention on human rights that actually served the interest of the rights of humans would be a wonderful thing that any decent person could support wholeheartedly.”

            I think that’s what I just said.


          • Tachybaptus says:



        • 114
          The Lies of the Left exposed says:

          Jimmy you are a complete tosser if you think our legal system before the introduction of ECHR was anything like Belarus. What a tit, mind you I understand why you argue thus because most of the fuckwitted public fall for such nonsense.


          • Jimmy says:

            It’s a sign of how far the party has moved to the right that it is no longer prepared to abide by human rights standards drafted by the Churchill administration.


  22. 95
    EU Watch says:

    Perhaps a little known fact, but euthanasia is legal in Belgium.

    The government have recently started to debate on whether euthanasia can be extended to minors:

    They were surprised to find that active euthanasia has taken place already, somewhat illegally. No indication if any prosecutions are to take place.

    This is wholly different to the killing fields of the NHS under Labour.

    To get an idea what death by starvation and dehydration looks like consult the pictures taken by allied forces when they entered the concentration camps of the NSDAP.

    Burnham and his collaborators must be prosecuted.


  23. 108
    In Praise of Nonsense says:

    The elephant is a bonnie bird,
    It flits from bough to bough.
    It makes its nest in a rhubarb tree
    And whistles like a cow.


    • 111
      Julian the wonder horse says:

      Today I saw upon the stair
      a little man who wasn’t there.
      He wasn’t there again today
      Oh how I wish he’d go away.


  24. 113
    bloody alarm-clock says:

    James Kirkup’s woken up a bit late.

    Some of the more perspicacious amongst us never trusted the shifty little sod in the first place.


    • 117
      old SHEP says:

      It generally takes about ten years for the MSM to wake up to anything that’s going on, bit like having train drivers that can’t understand why metal horse always runs on rails.


    • 118
      old SHEP says:

      It generally takes about ten years for the MSM to wake up to anything that’s going on, bit like having train dri8ers (still off with this nonsense I see, Mod) that can’t understand why metal horse always runs on rails.


  25. 31
    Bobby from Pinnar says:

    Hi di hi


  26. 105
    JabbaTheCat says:


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Chivalry is Not Dead | Laura Perrins
Jonathan Jones is a Tw*t | Iain Dale
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“Digger” Murdoch says:

Is it just me, or is Nigel Farage just a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain?

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