March 1st, 2013

Tory Deputy Chairman Declares Coalition Victory

Tory deputy chairman Sarah Newton has come out with the spin to end all by-election spin:

“It is good for the Coalition that the Coalition was able to retain the seat.”

A sure fire way to increase mutinous feeling among the Tory right even further this morning. If that’s the best they can come up with…

UPDATE: A Tory spokesman tells Guido:

“I think the Prime Minister’s response is the official response from the Conservative Party. This is a disappointing result. Obviously some people have their different ideas.”


  1. 1
    MartinW says:

    That comment is crass and appalling. If I was angry with the Cameron clique before (and I was – in a big way), then that foolish comment from the deputy chairman (of all people) increases my anger several-fold.

  2. 2
    the Tory party says:

    With friends like this who needs enemies?

  3. 3
    Finger up your bumhole says:

    “It is good for the Coalition that the Coalition was able to retain the seat.”

    Its a bit like saying the 1966 World Cup wind was a victory for Europe

  4. 4
    Aaron D Highside says:

    Absolutely agree – pathetic.

  5. 5
    drektly says:

    With only a 435 majority she won’t be an MP come 2015 anyway. Her pro Europe stance is not going down well in Cornwall.

  6. 6
    JR says:

    She does look almost blonde perhaps that accounts for her stupidity.

  7. 7
    Fruitcake, Nutter, Racist and Bloody Proud says:

    Treacherous lying scum who cannot even print a flyer in their own colours.

  8. 8
    Where are Tony Blair's expenses says:

    Exactly how stupid is this woman; and Dave thinks he has a chance in 2015.

    The rats are in a corner, the ship is sinking so SamCam better start measuring up curtains for a new home long before 2015

  9. 9
    Sarah Newton says:

    It is good for Europe that a European was able to retain the seat.

  10. 10
    Yves Saint Laurent says:


  11. 11
    Tessa Tickles says:

    “La la la la la la laaaaa I’m still not listening!” – D. Cameron.

  12. 12
    Call me Dave says:

    *stretching & yawning* Morning all, have I missed anything?

  13. 13
    JR says:

    Come on true Tory MP’s get your letters into the Chairman of the 1922 and do us all a favour. Get a proper Tory leading the party not the Eaton Boy Idiot and his gang.

  14. 14

    Ha Ha ha Ha ha ha ha

    Made my morning that.

    Nothing like claiming somene else success as our own to hide your failures.

    Even with all of the negatives against the Lib Dems this week, they whipped you good and proper Tories. Get over it.

  15. 15
    Gregg Shapps says:

    Like the modern major general

    I lead my troops from behind

    When shit hits fan, I get our wimminfolk to reply…

  16. 16
    Well I Never says:

    Tory deputy chairman Sarah Newton has come out with the spin to end all by-election spin:

    “It is good for the Coalition that the Coalition was able to retain the seat.”

    That’s not spin – that’s spam.

  17. 17
    what goes up says:

    “It is good for the Political class that the Political class was able to retain the seat.”

  18. 18
    Old Father Plod says:

    The Conservative Corpse starts its final death rattle!

  19. 19

    The problem is the gang not cameron per see. Replacing Cameron while keeping the gang would not be much better. Get people in the cabinet who have broad life experiences and who understand societies social levers, the law of unintended consequences, etc,gained at the hard end from wide ranging life experience. Then things will get better.

  20. 20
    BloJo with his wimmin says:

    You will get me as an Eaton Boy Buffoon leader

    If you are not careful…

  21. 21
    Tosspot says:

    They will be soon telling us that High Crime is necessary, to give the Police something to do.. and the vast amount of duplication & waste in the NHS is because Nurses can not understand computers.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    UKIP – not as successful a protest vote as George Galloway

  23. 23
    Dick the Prick says:

    Apparently Cameron’s such a weak little man that Sam Cam has already vetoed him doing a second term which seems utterly redundant now. Cameron’s legacy? Bulgarian gay marriages paid for on the never never – cheers Dave!

  24. 24
    Gladstone says:

    Who is she? Never heard of her before

  25. 25
    JabbaTheCat says:

    Vote Ukip get LibDum? That’s real Joe Biden level street smarts. We now have a pro EUSSR and pro windmill LibDum with a vote in the HOC, instead of a sceptical Tory MP who looked like she had a mind of her own and would have stood up to Camoron and co…

  26. 26
    Michael Gove says:

    She is probably having her arse kicked as I write.

  27. 27
    New Town Toff says:

    Well, it’s well-known that politicians are two-faced but surely this has to be the most brass-necked reaction to an election defeat – ever.

  28. 28
    Tessa Tickles says:

    I bet she became Tory Deputy Chairman purely on merit, you know. No “all female selection list”, no casting aside of better candidates because they didn’t have wombs, or any of that other patronising PC claptrap that Dave wrongly thinks will appeal to women voters.

  29. 29
    Sarah Newton says:

    It is good for Earth that an Earthling was able to retain the seat.

  30. 30
    Jock loch says:

    This is like claiming that a Murray win is a win for England.

  31. 31
  32. 32
    Cilla says:

    You gorra gorra laugh!

  33. 33
    Jo Moore says:

    Today is a good day to bury some Tories.

    No I mean literally

  34. 34
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    And I hope you’re satisfied, you rascal you!

  35. 35
    Waves of Tory Barndanse says:

  36. 36
    Hugh Janus says:

    +100. What an idiotic comment! Just further proof that they consider their supporters (I was one for 40 years but not any more) to be complete simpletons.

  37. 37
  38. 38
    Tosspot says:

    The Prime Mentalist…. now showing ” Dave ” the sequel.

  39. 39
    A Lord says:

    She seems like a nice girl.

  40. 40
    Raving Loon says:

    George Galloway just goes to Muslim ghettos and preaches love for Islam and against “the west”. It would be hard to repeat his success elsewhere.

  41. 41
    Newton is dafter than Dave says:

    Have you not seen her constituency? Just about every new building flies a euro flag and every hilltop is covered in windmills. This daft bint is fully signed up to the EU and wind.

  42. 42
    101 year old Tory Chief Whip says:

    Only LibDems kick women’s asses

  43. 43
    education is All says:

    You illiterate MONGS. IT IS ETON and not fucking EATON.

  44. 44
    Arsefuck for freedom says:

    I do sincerely hope a journo door steps Joyce Thacker of Rotherham social services later today about her decision to remove those poor foster kids from their loving foster parent’s home purely because they were UKIP supporters.

    Fucking Common Purpose bitch!

  45. 45
    An animal lover says:

    If you have proof – you should notify the the RSPCA

  46. 46
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Ah, I can think of a better one. Back in 2008 (or thereabouts), Labour got stuffed in a by-election, whereupon Harriet Harman (it really had to be her, didn’t it?) declared (I paraphrase) “the voters have given us a clear message that they want us to carry on in our current direction.”

  47. 47
    Mohammad's penis says:

    Bolton, Salford, Huddersfield, Dewsbury, Batley, Rochdale etc etc

  48. 48
    EU official says:

    This is why she is pro Europe

    A little £350 million bung/grant …FFS

    For an irrelevant piddling little corner of this land…

  49. 49
    Wolfgang Pauli says:

    I don’t think you fully appreciate the gravity of your situation.

  50. 50
    Hitler says:

    It is good for the winners that the losers lost

  51. 51
    Stanley says:

    A LibDem Lord I presume?

  52. 52
    Ex long term Tory supporter says:

    Where’s Randy Rennard when we need him? Give her a grope and a mouth plug asap ffs.

  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    Leader of a county should have luck otherwise it will be bad for the country. Cameron is a loser, until he is replaced this country will be in a mess.

  54. 54
    Butch Dave, soon to be ex-PM says:

    Cheer up, Guido’s bum chums, the re-collapse of UK manufacuring announced today is due to the Chinese New Year, according to Gideon. Sounds pretty convincing to me!

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    And the award for “inverted logoc” goes to……………!
    She should seek help.

  56. 56
    The Wisdom of Crowds says:

    She is actually right, but only by accident. This brilliant decision by the great British public shows they want the stability of a government supported by as large as chunk of the population as possible (given the skewed Westminster system), which is what the Coalition offers, but they also want to kick that government and the EU up the arse without letting Labour in by the back door.

  57. 57
    Falmouth Packet says:

    It is good for the human race that the human race was able to retain the seat.

  58. 58
    Sid the pocket snake says:

    Just glad the smug pro IRA bomb killing, pro Argentinean joker dd not get in. Any of the others did not really bother me, I was just hoping the Labour joker never got in, it would have been an insult to all of the IRA victims and our soldiers who fought to regain the Falklands from the junta.

  59. 59
    Neil Hamilton says:

    Today is a good day to be a UKIPer!

  60. 60
    Fuckwitwatch UK says:

    And it is Miliband and Osborne, not Milliband and Osbourne.

  61. 61
    David Ward says:

    Wanna bet?

  62. 62
    Henry the Navigator says:

    When you have no compass

    It is easy to go in any “current direction”

  63. 63
    A Petrol Can says:

    Yes. Losing certainly did you a lot of good.

  64. 64
    The Maximum Imbecile says:

    Boom and Bust

    Boom and Bust

  65. 65
    Red Hot LibDem Babe says:

    “It is good for the Coalition that the Coalition was able to retain the seat.”

    Reminds me of when Lard Randard invited me up to his room to form a coalition. But I did help him retain his election.

  66. 66
    Mark Oaten says:

    Did somebody mention enemas?

  67. 67
    Anonymous says:

    As an idiot he might believe what he says.

  68. 68
    Democracy Now says:

    It is a good day to be a believer in democracy, unless, of course, you think posal votes are inherently corrupting and corruptable.

  69. 69
    pissed off voter says:

    I just heard Nick Clegg describe this result as a ‘stunning victory’.

    perfect example of the extreme b/s of politicians that I find really irritating.

  70. 70
    The British Public says:

    So she’s corrupt?

  71. 71
    SamCam says:

    My dave was not very pleased with election thingy result, he thought bumsex would swing it. He has an ace in the hole though all those lovely romanians and bulgarian will be here soon to vote for him. Hahahahahaasnorhahahdribblehahaha.

  72. 72
    lord summerisle says:

    one should always be open to the regenerative influences.

  73. 73
    Gaia says:

    Wrong, Earth

  74. 74
    Handycocker says:

    This ventriloquist dummy moves her lips very nicely. Whose fingers are twiddling her?
    She’s a bit old for me, but can I have a go with the old bowling hold technique?

  75. 75
    Hank the Cat says:

    Maybe the limpdems won cos Eastleigh is perv central

  76. 76
    a memoreial to the EU and how to throw away money says:

    And a right pig’s ear of a mess it is too.

    A total waste of money. They have covered Redruth and Camborne with Chinese granite and turned a once industrial land into a euro wasteland which the locals are supposed to visit and sit in peace while they reflect on how great the EU is to bestow all this Chinese granite upon them.

  77. 77
    Curly says:

    Yes, but wasn’t that OUR money in the first place? We can happily dispense with the EU middlemen and make our own decisions on where to spend it.

  78. 78
    Always good for a laugh is our Diane says:

  79. 79
    Fire up the Quattro says:

    The good voters of Eastleigh can look forward to two years of anonymity from their new MP. If he is anything like our Lib Dem MP, following the election he disappears for five years. He is occasionally spotted opening a fete but what he does for his constituents god only knows.

  80. 80
    The British Public says:

    Cameron couldn’t run a parish council

  81. 81
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    The Governator would terminate her.

  82. 82
    Lord Retard says:

    Don’t dribble Sam, it puts me off coming

  83. 83
    Got a new Crayon says:

    Who knows but certainly full of shit.

  84. 84
    Archbishop of Banbury says:

    SamCAm will simply rejoin the Chipping Norton Set, where she belongs…

    Or those members who are not in jail…

  85. 85
    God says:

    Don’t ask me. I don’t surf the internet.

  86. 86
    Nick Clegg, closet Bender says:

    Phwoar! Sarah Newton, what a fit looking bird. did I ever tell you I’ve tupped 30 birds?

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    it would be most useful if some kind soul could give a approximate indicator as to when huhne will get sentenced and also whether time for him at her maj’s pleasure is a absolute certainty or not or maybe.


  88. 88
    Andy Burnham is a Criminal says:

    Number Two Rule of British Politics. You can trust Labour to lie about Rule Number One while they murder NHS patients in their beds

  89. 89
    Got a new Crayon says:

    Boom Boom Tsssh!

  90. 90
    Hank the Cat says:

    No trust Andy Burnam instead, the mass murderer

  91. 91
    Eastleigh Lady (of a certain age) says:

    I love these Libdemmies

    Who will grope me now that all you horrible people
    are stamping out their sexual shenanigans

    I loved them…

  92. 92
    Fruitier than a Fruitcake says:

    Dave is a right pain in the arse with his bum sex marriage project.

  93. 93
    - says:

    These people don’t get it, do they.

    No wonder the government can’t cut back public spending with such bozoid bat brains in parliament.

  94. 94
    FrankFisher says:

    As was WW2!

  95. 95
    Sarah Newton says:

    It is good for libertariansim that a libertarian was able to retain the seat.

    Whoops!…I’m not supposed to give the game away like that…am I?

  96. 96
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    Is it true that UKIP won the ballot box vote?

  97. 97
    Person from Porlock says:

    Will they be holding a memorial service at Westminster Abbey for the Conservative Party?

  98. 98
    Andy Burnhams Scythe Sharpening Service says:


  99. 99
    Rule 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10 says:

    You can’t trust the Labour with the Government. They must never be let anywhere near our Government again.

  100. 100
    Fourth Reich says:

    We’re back, in case you haven’t noticed

  101. 101
    A Thinking Man's Thought says:

    If you could support them for 40 years she is not far off

  102. 102
    From Fatbot to Fruitbat says:

    So the mass murder of the old folk of Stafford by an NHS run by Labour is the golden rule?

  103. 103
    diane abbott says:

    i tried to look less fat by shape-shifting into triplets, but failed.

  104. 104
    Vote Pink - Vote Camoron says:

    It’s a Brighton suburb

  105. 105
    Leslie Philips says:


  106. 106
    A Petrol Can says:

    I blame the Green taxes for the high cost of fuel

  107. 107
    Power Crazed Balls says:

    My heroes, Tudor Beams Prescott and Alky Pornographer Cambell, have gone silent this morning…

    Something wrong in the Labour camp?

  108. 108
    Old Etonian Archbish says:

    Please do not dishonour the Church

    Henry VIII would not approve…

  109. 109
    Sexiam is endemic in the political class says:

    Would you like to see Lord Everard’s room dear?

  110. 110
    Tom Watson says:

    That is disgusting. MPs should represent their constituents at all times.

    Take me for example, my constituents demanded that I should travel all around the world taking Murdoch to task (funded by the unions of course not my constituents), and then spend 100% of my time sitting next to Louise Mensch. They then asked me to write a book and (allegedly) breach the rules by using information gleaned whilst being on this panel to make myself a lot of money through book sales.

  111. 111
    Nurse Bell says:

    really DR.

  112. 112
    Steve Miliband says:

    UKIP do well with just one message and no discernable policies.

    Keep it simple

  113. 113
    the boy from brazil says:

    give my boyfriend a blakey and he’d be the spit of adolf.

  114. 114
    The EU way says:

    Why give directly when you can pass it down a chain and let thousands take a cut before the poor recipient gets the crumbs that are left?

    It’s the EU way.

  115. 115
    Paniagua Dos says:

    Proof if ever any was needed that this idiot of the highest order has the memory of a goldfish.

  116. 116
    Raving Loon says:

    Rule No.2, you can’t trust the NHS to keep you alive.

  117. 117
    My bum is still sore says:

    But it is definitely buggering Eton though!

  118. 118
    Dave's toast says:

    Just keeping quiet while the Tories decide who’s going to light Dave’s funeral pyre

  119. 119
    Fishy says:

    Stupid Cow

  120. 120
    BloJo with his wimmin says:


    It is Eaton

    Like in Eaton Square

    to plebs like you

  121. 121
    where the blind lead says:

    The coalition won on the postal vote, thousands of non existent students and bed ridden OAPs in comas and suffering from dementia and houses where the owners have gone abroad have all unknowingly voted for the coalition. Its the new post democratic democracy in action, our rulers are so kind and love us so much they are going to vote on our behalf to save us the trouble. You can just imagine a nursing run by the libdem council with libdem activists going round vulnerable old people warning them that unless they hand over their postal vote and authorisation the home will be forced to close down.

  122. 122
    Jimmy says:

    Well the government did get 57.5% of the vote. Credit where credit’s due. They do seem quite inexplicably popular down there.

  123. 123
    Paniagua Dos says:

    Well Grove went right down in my estimation this morning on Radio 4.

    He gave Cameron so many compliments I thought he was talking about Mother Teresa.

  124. 124
    Ed Millibland says:

    It cannot be simpler than SFA and look what it’s done for us !

  125. 125
    I's because Dave is a Tory that he wants to destroy the natural family. says:

    And besides marrying brown hatters, what is Dave’s discernible policy?

  126. 126
    A Man says:

    Its the kind of comment which shows people that they are right not to trust our politicians

  127. 127
    Paniagua Dos says:

    Morning Jimmy a bit late this morning?
    Been in a disaster recovery meeting?

  128. 128
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    People laughed at me when I declared David Cameron a one term prime minister.

    They aren’t laughing now.

  129. 129
    Oddly Helpful says:

    When bad news is coming, it’s best to get your votes locked in before the stench becomes unendurable.

  130. 130
    A Person of Colour says:

    The political parties have no proprietary right over colour schemes

  131. 131
    Gove, man's best friend. says:

    like my dog, Gove is careful not to bite the hand that feeds him. It alsao sounds that like my dog he rolls over on his back for his belly to be tickled.

  132. 132
    Brand Guardian says:

    What a stupid comment, you prick

  133. 133
    Gregg's brother Grant who is somebody in the Tory Party says:

    Gregg leave political comment to me you plonker.

    Didn’t we do well.

  134. 134
    The Grim Reaper enjoying his day off says:

    Keep up the good work Andy my boy.

  135. 135
    lucifer says:

    don’t sweat god, i have got it all sorted. that errant half brother of mine has been a very naughty boy and i have got the logs to prove it.

  136. 136
    Anonymous says:

    kung hei fat choi!

  137. 137
    Jimmy says:

    Tell me about it. We expected to finish behind the Lemons, but being beaten by the tories as well was a blow.

  138. 138
    pissed off voter says:

    Just wondering … how much of the postal vote was in before the rennard thing broke – and what percentage of that vote was frmale?

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    maybe there’s a tory lord rennard?

  140. 140
    Anonymous says:

    Is it true that Gove can lick his own balls?

  141. 141
    Anonymous says:

    Right, lets get back to randy rennard and the questions around the honesty of Nick ‘student fee, member recall, in/out referendum, know nothing’ Clegg.

  142. 142
    Con Artists says:

    Vote Tory = get Islam and EU

  143. 143
    Con Artists says:

    Rule No 3

    Vote Tory = get Islam and more EU

  144. 144
    Handycock from his sickbed says:

    Does she do a turn, that’s what matters? Boaz.

  145. 145
    A Parish Councillor says:

    Cameron couldn’t get ELECTED to a Parish Council !!!

  146. 146
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Come up and see me sometime Ethel, long time no see. Boaz.

  147. 147
    Won't Get Fooled Again says:

    Would the last Tory MP to leave the House of Commons in 2015 leave the lights on for their UKIP replacements…

  148. 148
    Bob Monkhouse says:

    people laughed at me when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now

  149. 149
    Great Granddad:Prime Minister in Waiting, New Utopia Party says:

    When it comes to picking people – Cameron sure can pick ‘em.

  150. 150
    Snotsicle says:

    She wouldn’t have stood-up to Cameron, that’s why the party picked her to run for the seat in the first place.
    Tory candidates are no longer selected on merit, unfortunately.

  151. 151
    Jack the Ripper says:

    So it’s good that the Coalition retained the seat? Then it’s not good that a Coalition minister’s disgrace caused the byelection in the first place. You can’t have one without t’other.

  152. 152
    Truth says:

    Cameron could not run a bath.

  153. 153
    David Camerons A Facking Feminist says:

    The Dave is dead – long live the Dave(Davis) !

  154. 154

    She’s Ugly and in her late 50s with 3 kids shes hardly seen. The Picture is 15 years Old. Trade Descriptions eh!

    I wonder if she says the same when she loses to the Libs after they take away her 400 majority in Falmouth and Truro. I think she is in for a wrecking at the next GE because she has upset the Methodists and others for voting for the chang in Marriage definitions

  155. 155

    She was Promoted to calm Cornwall tories down after the Ashley Crossley saga all but wrecked conservatism in the County 4 years ago. Oh and by the way the conservatives wouldnt take Crossley in the latest Cornish selections in fear of aggro from tory councillors and activists. I believe Ashley Crossley is trying for a safe tory seat elsewhere. He made his name as a Not bad tory tax advisor to Mickey Howard. He has recently made a personal fortune advising Russian Oligarchs and good British wealthies on their tax avoidance schemes. Fits well in the CV as a tory Candidate????. Perhaps he will find it does not fit well with the voter after the Starbucks and Amazon Tax Saga. The Press would have a field day if he was promoted to the tory echalons.

  156. 156
    Cornish Sausage Roll says:

    Rumour is that the selection committee 5 years ago was rigged by her own sychophantic supporters, but she lost the full support of the activists locally and only scraped in by 400 – and that was a surprise. Sha has upset locals with her enthusiasm for same sex marriage.

  157. 157
    Mrs Cameron says:

    He cant get it up either.

  158. 158
    Gorgeous George says:

    Anybody seen the youtube video of rochdale council passing planning permission for a mosque, islamic democracy in action, coming to a town near you soon.

  159. 159
    Almost Eastleigh MP says:


  160. 160
    Nick Clegg says:


  161. 161
    M.Portillo says:

    Dont know.

  162. 162
    A Green Member says:

    Its an overflow to be exact.

  163. 163
    Jack Straw says:

    SWounds like SOP for most if not all MPs.(Unless you are an immigrant,prefer muslims ).

  164. 164
    Simon Hughes says:

    I didnt see you in the old peoples homes raped of votes Oh sorry I mean advised on the voting system and offered transport their vote so they neednot go to any trouble. Care in the community at its best.

  165. 165
    Man from the Midlands says:

    I’m sure Sarah Newton will be talking up the prospects of the Lib Dems to the voters if Truro and Falmouth in 2015. She’s got no need to worry about her ultra safe 435 majority.

  166. 166
    Andrew says:

    Campbell would have regarded this piece of spin as too audacious to succeed. It is worthy of Lloyd George.

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Time We Showed Super Rich Some Love | Alice Thomson
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Labour’s Winning Hand | Sebastian Shakespeare
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May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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