February 28th, 2013

Going Down: Parliament’s Lift Porters Get the Chop

The end of an era. Public sector efficiency savings are taking their toll in the corridors of power; the latest victims are four parliamentary lift porters. Guido hears the charming quartet were given the axe this week after pushing the buttons of bosses. Two have retired and two have been given other jobs in the Palace.

Working in Westminster has its ups and downs…


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    The bars and restaurants next?

    • 9
      Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

      Died a natural death, didn’t it?
      And Guido seems to have gone soft on it.
      Could it be the subsidised restaurants at News International?

  2. 2
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    …and some people might say that a Bank doesn’t need a pantomime horse at all.

  3. 3
    Lard Everard says:

    Can I press your buttons, luv ?

  4. 4
    The People's Drone says:

    Sounds like these 4 where the only ones with an honest job in the place, surprised they lasted this long!

  5. 5
    Sir William Wade says:

    Goodness gracious, next thing you know it’ll be the Parliamentary Lavatory Attendants going, and MPs will have to wipe their own bums!

  6. 6
    Sinking ship says:

    They’ll be paying full price for beer next.

    • 19
      Boshy says:

      Surely not.

    • 22
      Wet Ed Miliband says:

      I drink only champagne.

      • 24
        Pundit Too says:

        I was in Mongolia when at a reception at the British Embassy I had a meeting of minds with a Queen’s Messenger – so much so that the Ambassador broke us up and ordered us to tour the room.
        He said that in 1997 Labour decided to get rid of all Queen’s Messengers’, as in their view electronic messaging would replace them.
        Within a year the Foreign Office was in deep trouble with its diplomatic communications, and Labour decided to bring back the messengers’.
        They contacted and re-employed them and DOUBLED their number as Labour stated that due to the heightened world security problem they must travel in pairs.
        You could not make it up.

        • 46
          Anon says:

          My dad, who was a pilot, once had one chucked off a plane for refusing to use the overhead locker for his luggage.

  7. 7
    Person from Porlock says:

    Working in Westminster has its ups and downs…

    Wonking in Westminster has its ups and downs…

  8. 8
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    Who are the geezers with the curly wigs who sit in front of the Speaker? They don’t seem to be important. How much do they earn? Plenty more than a poor porter, I bet.

  9. 10
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    DPM Clegg has 15 Special Advisers. Prescott had two. Time for some culling there methinks.
    How many other jobs are there where you get to employ people to be YOUR advisers? If you can’t think for yourself then bugger off.

  10. 14
    The Right Honourable George Osborne Mp says:

    I think we’ve got a very clear message, a loud and clear message that Britain cannot let up in dealing with its debts, dealing with its problems, cannot let up in making sure that Britain can pay its way in the world.

  11. 23
    Derek and Clive says:

    “Working in Westminster has its ups and downs…”

    you should be on the radio with stuff like that

    • 32
      Jayne Mansfield says:

      That naughty Salvador Dalí called. Does anyone have his number ?

    • 40
      (I don't need no doctor) says:

      Lift porter shock horror. You read it first in the Sun Guido supplement. Yes we bring you dr i vel news.

  12. 34
    Brown out and pay me damages. He can stop laying HIS problems on my doorstep. He is responsible for himself. says:

    Stop wasting money on expensive SPADS. Think of the little guy for a change.

  13. 37
    Tosspot says:

    We have become a Third World Nation,

  14. 38
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Two retired and two have got other jobs. So no one has lost out. What is your point Guido?
    I would rather Guido attack Andy Burnham over Stafford Hospital than driv el over lift porters.

  15. 39
    Ed Millipede says:

    Who’s going to help me do my shoelaces up now???

  16. 48
    Anonymous says:

    I shit you not, one of them has been replaced by a glass door.

  17. 50
    Andrew says:

    I don’t suppose the National Union of Monks and Ecclesiastical Operatives was any too thrilled when Caxton brought the printing press to England, Guido – you of all people should know that you cannot freeze the world in aspic.

Seen Elsewhere

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Corrupt, Incompetent UN Has No Right to Lecture Us | Dan Hannan
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Hungary’s Heir to Thatcher | Conservative Woman
Farage and Salmond Both Want Outopia | David Aaronovitch
More Missing UKIP Money | Times
Church Should Fight Evil of Welfare Dependency | Stephen Glover
1 in 16 Pick Up Infections in Filthy NHS Hospitals | Mail
Let’s Get Evangelical | David Cameron
From the IRA to Windsor Castle | WSJ
Coulson: Everything You Need to Know in 6 Seconds | MediaGuido

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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