The end of an era.
Public sector efficiency savings are taking their toll in the corridors of power; the latest victims are four parliamentary lift porters. Guido hears the charming quartet were given the axe this week after pushing the buttons of bosses. Two have retired and two have been given other jobs in the Palace.
Working in Westminster has its ups and downs…
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Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious…
“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
The bars and restaurants next?
Died a natural death, didn’t it?
And Guido seems to have gone soft on it.
Could it be the subsidised restaurants at News International?
But they’re not subsidised by you and me.
Elevated to the peerage?
If I am not elevated to the Peerage, I had my eyes on one of those jobs. I am entirely capable of pushing a few buttons in a lift, but, sadly, not much more. Boaz.
…and some people might say that a Bank doesn’t need a pantomime horse at all.
Can I press your buttons, luv ?
Sounds like these 4 where the only ones with an honest job in the place, surprised they lasted this long!
Never mind that, is there an “elevator” clause in their pensions?
Goodness gracious, next thing you know it’ll be the Parliamentary Lavatory Attendants going, and MPs will have to wipe their own bums!
Don’t worry ! Help is at hand
Share nicely
They’ll be paying full price for beer next.
Surely not.
I drink only champagne.
I was in Mongolia when at a reception at the British Embassy I had a meeting of minds with a Queen’s Messenger – so much so that the Ambassador broke us up and ordered us to tour the room.
He said that in 1997 Labour decided to get rid of all Queen’s Messengers’, as in their view electronic messaging would replace them.
Within a year the Foreign Office was in deep trouble with its diplomatic communications, and Labour decided to bring back the messengers’.
They contacted and re-employed them and DOUBLED their number as Labour stated that due to the heightened world security problem they must travel in pairs.
You could not make it up.
My dad, who was a pilot, once had one chucked off a plane for refusing to use the overhead locker for his luggage.
Working in Westminster has its ups and downs…
Wonking in Westminster has its ups and downs…
Working for Baron Wavertree has its ups and downs…
Bonking in Westminster has its ups and downs.
Wanking in Westminster has its ups and downs…
Wanking in Westminster is the norm.
Wankers like you Mann are the norm.
My hands have theirs ups and downs – ups and downs your body…
Who are the geezers with the curly wigs who sit in front of the Speaker? They don’t seem to be important. How much do they earn? Plenty more than a poor porter, I bet.
I think they’re called MPs.
They are out-of-work actors posing as Clerks-at-the-Table (sort of glorified minute-takers).
No-one has heard of the ‘tape recorder’ in Westminster, I take it.
DPM Clegg has 15 Special Advisers. Prescott had two. Time for some culling there methinks.
How many other jobs are there where you get to employ people to be YOUR advisers? If you can’t think for yourself then bugger off.
I’ve been a SpAd and a wonk and I still can’t think without reference to my Union bosses.
Did I give thee permission to speak, lad?
Prescott only had one dick and he wasn’t fit.
Have you seen my wardrobe key ?
Is that you Nick?
If you were a thick cvnt like Clegg you’d need all the advice you could get.
In addition to all the earache from Miriam.
Prescott had two interpreters not Spads.
Who on earth would be a volunteer Spad to Lard John?
I think we’ve got a very clear message, a loud and clear message that Britain cannot let up in dealing with its debts, dealing with its problems, cannot let up in making sure that Britain can pay its way in the world.
You need to get your Tourette’s seen to
Like a long playing record. Please keep up and be relevent.
Thought you’d skipped that bit.
14. Your same comment was boring yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that…………….
“Working in Westminster has its ups and downs…”
you should be on the radio with stuff like that
That naughty Salvador Dalí called. Does anyone have his number ?
Lift porter shock horror. You read it first in the Sun Guido supplement. Yes we bring you dr i vel news.
Stop wasting money on expensive SPADS. Think of the little guy for a change.
We have become a Third World Nation,
Two retired and two have got other jobs. So no one has lost out. What is your point Guido?
I would rather Guido attack Andy Burnham over Stafford Hospital than driv el over lift porters.
Who’s going to help me do my shoelaces up now???
I shit you not, one of them has been replaced by a glass door.
I don’t suppose the National Union of Monks and Ecclesiastical Operatives was any too thrilled when Caxton brought the printing press to England, Guido – you of all people should know that you cannot freeze the world in aspic.