Not only did Guido reveal that Owen Paterson has set up a swear jar for any Defra staffer brave enough to crack a horse pun in yesterday’s Sun column, but there could be more equine trouble ahead. Sources whisper that ‘bute’ may be the least of our worries; if the horse tranquilliser Ketamine – which doubles as a rave drug – has not been tested for, it won’t be a laughing matter. One to keep an eye on…

Meanwhile, the results of the House of Commons horsemeat tests are in:

“As a precautionary measure, on Monday 18 February the House of Commons Catering Service removed from its menus four beef items supplied by Brakes, as they carried out tests on their products containing beef.

The items were:

• beef and onion pie
• steak and kidney pie
• steak kidney suet pudding
• and beef Italian meatballs.

Tests on all four items have been completed and all have concluded negative for equine DNA.

The items are back on menus from today.”

It’s one mule for us…