February 21st, 2013

Great Questions of Our Time


  1. 1
    Call me Dave says:

    Pop round tonight and I will show you.

  2. 2
    What's with the bizarre hairdo, Mike? says:

    Because Suck Job means one who sucks at their job. Rather like you as an MP, Mr FabriHunt.

  3. 3
    Captain Dogseye says:

    Great Questions of Our Time:- Who killed Maddie McCann

  4. 4
    Sally Bercow says:

    I never spit.

  5. 5
    Gary Jones says:

    He is right,if you are blowing,you are doing it wrong…….or is he talking about Stacking shelves?

  6. 6
    Gary Jones says:

    who stole my Bongos?

  7. 7
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Because you can claim for “blow” on expenses but not for “suck”.

  8. 8
    The Right Honourable George Osborne says:

    Boris was the first choice for appearing in the One Direction single, after a few discussions it was decided that Dave should do it.

    Boris will have his moment to shine at a later date.

  9. 9
    SP4BS says:

    Just so you can get on with sorting out those bookings and diary clashes.

    I believe its related to “moby dick” and to the idea that one shouts “there she blows” when seeing a spurt of foamy stuff.

  10. 10
    Lard Prescott says:

    I do it with pies

  11. 11
    Lord Stansted says:

    Off-topic, for which I apologise.

    The Guardian is charging £400 for a web-buiding course.


    Jesu – don’t they know, all the how-to-do html, java script, css, etc., etc. is available for free on something called the Internet.

  12. 12
  13. 13
    Point of Information says:

    According to the Google, proper fellat!o requires a relaxed throat. To suppress the gag reflex and relax it is normal to exhale.

    Some things should not be asked on Twitter.

  14. 14
    Casual Observer says:

    From what I’ve seen of the Grauniad site… Maybe worth it if it was the D.M.

  15. 15
    Eu Referendum says:

    Dancing with Buck Fizz for the EU referendum while singing Making your mind up. Bojo rips off his trousers and reveals his silky shorts. Phwoar!

  16. 16
    Heterosexual Question of Our Time says:

    How many beers should a red blooded male consume before attempting to pull Laur!e Penny ? If successful, should he then tell his mates ?

  17. 17
    McLibel says:

    I never swallow.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Another blow for freedom sal?

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    With daves A team in Eastleigh what can possibly go wrong?

  20. 20
    RoP says:

    I read with interest (but no surprise) this, at the end of the Standard’s report on the latest adventures of our peaceful bomb-making brethren:
    “Nobody in the plotters’ community tipped police off with concerns, despite finding out they were sending young men to terror training camps in Pakistan. The three will be sentenced in April and May.”

  21. 21
    A BBC Weather presenter says:

    This is the twat who became twoutraged when he was asked if he’d paid for the poppy wreath he said he was going to lay at last year’s remembrance service. Man’s an idiot.

  22. 22
    Heywood Jablome says:

    Did someone call ?

  23. 23

    Do we understand you wish to confess something?

  24. 24
    Don't Tempt Fate says:

  25. 25
    Moussa Koussa Mark 6 says:

    YEAH YEAH YEAH !!!! Now the BBC are involved in a 9/11 cover up.


  26. 26
    yeah, right... says:

    We had this debate about a former Labour minister – gallantry prevents me from naming her – and the conclusion was that we hoped that the enormous quanitity of alcohol needed to find the lady in question sexually attractive would be enough to bring on death from alcohol poisoning before the dreadful act could be carried out.

  27. 27
    Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two bog seats, two Jags & Shags. says:

    Great Questions of Our Time.

    Who’s eaten all the pies ??

  28. 28
    Moussa Koussa Mark 6 says:


  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    Reminds me of the unluckiest man in the world who crossed a cock-roach with a blood-sucker and got a blood-roach…boom boom. I’ll start the car.

  30. 30
    Moussa Koussa Mark 6 says:

    Who’s eaten all the pies ?

    Clearly – Porky Pie Pickles

  31. 31
    Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two bog seats, two Jags & Shags. says:

    Has he got a diary secretary ?

  32. 32
    I know a politician is being economical with the truth when his lips move says:

    I hope you’re not here all week!

  33. 33
    Wotta Tossa Skid Mark 6 says:

    HAVE YOU ?

  34. 34
    Paniagua says:

    How about stopping your Labour funded minimum wage £3.68 an hour posting job, and go and look?

  35. 35
    Moussa Koussa Mark 6 says:

    Like shooting fish in a barrel

    “So CCHQ and Dave have successfully cleaned up the MP and Lords expenses””…as promised

  36. 36
    Bert says:

    Fabricant of all people is an expert on this subject, the raving poove.

  37. 37
    David Blunkett says:

    Can’t see one

  38. 38
    Ed Balls says:

    I blame that Shazza Shoesmith

  39. 39
    Diane Abbotopotamus says:

    Yoo hoo, luvver-boy!

  40. 40
    SP4BS says:

    I can’t find anything about “java script” on the internet.

  41. 41
    Heterosexual Question of Our Time says:

    Ok. That answers the question.

    Next up: Jerking off to QT tonight with the sound down whilst eating a pizza: Wrong or Right ?

  42. 42
    social misfit twitching by his keyboard says:

    So does CiF mean code is free?

  43. 43
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Cheesy Dialogue From 1940's Films Service says:

    “There are some things it were better you did not ask, my friend; I knew someone like you, who was inquisitive, and asked whatever was on his mind– I haven’t seen him since the Gestapo came to his house a while back. In this land we have learned not to ask questions…”

  44. 44
    SP4BS says:

    Eating late at night is far more likely to cause weight gain.

  45. 45
    Great political question of our time says:

    Why is Blair still free?

  46. 46
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    Too vague, yeah right. That could mean any of a dozen Labour women ministers.

  47. 47

    1.) Boxed or otherwise?

    2.) Pre or post delivery (specify bike if former)

  48. 48
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

  49. 49
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    I’m not !!! £ 250,000.00 per hour to you, sonny.

  50. 50
    Dave says:

    No it’s not, it’s a guy being taken to court for not paying his TV licence. The magistrate will laugh him out of court given that his defence appears to be that it would be unlawful to pay his TV licence because he thinks the BBC sponsors terrorism… Bonkers.

  51. 51
    QT says:

    Tonight’s Question Time panel should provide some fireworks:

    Michael Heseltine, Vince Cable, Diane Abbot, Amanda Platell

  52. 52
    Loosing em faster than Eastleigh voters says:

  53. 53
  54. 54
    Incapable Vince says:

    Don’t leave your mansions unlocked.

  55. 55
    Diane Abbotapotamus says:

    Have they sorted me out with a Bariatric chair?

  56. 56
    This week's Popbitch newsletter says:

    Spotted in Tom Baker’s supermarket trolley:

    * Champagne
    * Gu puds
    * Organic bits and bobs
    * Premium catfood in tiny tins
    * Bushmills whiskey
    * Rainforest Alliance chocolate
    * The Daily Mail (for which he
    apologised “Ah well, it’s full
    of spiteful rubbish, but the
    Guardian just puts me into a

  57. 57
    Ho Lee Smoke says:

    Just think this man was in charge

  58. 58
    Tax is theft says:

    Eating late at night means putting on weight is not true – in any way.
    You’ve been brainwashed in to accepting nonsense by the BBC’s Church of man made climate change.
    Flush your head out and stop paying the license fee.

  59. 59

    One from the right and three from the left please, Carole.

  60. 60
    Alice Springs Tinker Horton says:

    It depends which end of the Hoover you connect the hose to, as to whether it will be a “suck job” or a “blow job,” doesn’t it? Remind me never to hire you to vacuum-clean my carpets, you silly, silly man! You’re almost as bad as Vicar Grainger, with your questions that make no sense!

  61. 61

    if i put anything inside lesser than and greater than signs, it just disappears. Am I doing something wrong? Can I join a jury?

  62. 62

    How many people saw that coming?

  63. 63
    Fishy says:

    Even if you could, you wouldn’t see her underneath the great mass that is the Ignoble Lard

  64. 64
    Fishy says:

    Why is Burnham still free?

  65. 65
    Heterosexual Question of Our Time says:

    It would be ordered to arrive shortly before the program started, so as it can cool a little before consumption.

    Maybe stuffed crust.

    Forgot to mention that Barry Wh!te may be playing.

  66. 66
    Jackie No-Laffs says:

    He IS here, and he IS all weak!
    But I wanna tell ya…

  67. 67
  68. 68
    Film Buff says:

    UK post 2015? we should be well and truly subjugated by then.

  69. 69

    You were doing quite well until you got to the end.

    Afraid I have to tick the wrong box…

  70. 70
    neitherdeadoralive says:

    I thought YOU were boxed ????

  71. 71
    Holiday Rep. says:

    It couldn’t have been the Parents, as they were not there.

  72. 72

    He is on shirk experience.

  73. 73
    Casual Observer says:

    BBC site is listing QT Panel:

    V!nce Cable, D!ane Abbott, Heselt!ne, Rev G!les Fraser and Peter H!tchens.

    Laur!e Penny is the extra guest.

    From under the dome in St. P@uls.

  74. 74

    ergo qualified to ask.

  75. 75
    Lord McLie-pine says:

    Cough up Bitch.

  76. 76
    Isaac Hunt says:

    The 911 Truth Movement Goes to Court in the UK.


    On February 25, in the small town of Horsham in the UK, 3 hours of detailed 9/11 evidence is to be presented in a court of law where the BBC will be challenged over the inaccurate and biased manner in which it has portrayed the events and evidence of 9/11.

  77. 77
    old SHEP says:

    Conundrum; five letters: wTtas

  78. 78
    Learn to Count with Ed Balls says:

    Today we’ll cover addition.

    One plus one is two,
    two plus one is nine,
    nine plus one is four,
    four plus one is eleventeen.

    So who wants to tell me what eleventeen plus one is…?

  79. 79
    Evil Landlord says:

    Margaret Hodge MP isn’t on the list either for her tiny, tiny, tiny shareholding in a tax efficient family trust fund.

  80. 80
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Great questions of our time;

    1. Why can’t we tickle ourselves?

    2. When does David Blunkett know when to stop wiping his bum?

  81. 81
    We all laughed says:

    Depends if you’re married to a former Labour Home Secretary and knocking one out on expenses.

  82. 82
    Evil Landlord says:

    I am still waiting for his formal response to the Francis report which he promised 2 weeks ago

  83. 83
    The Real Point of Information says:

    I think that may have been a troll.

  84. 84
    Brown out and pay me damages. He can take his thick as pig shit, scrounging, ugly fudds with him. I want nothing to do with the pathetic lying fuck. says:

    Suck jobby at the BBC.

  85. 85
    Sally Bercow says:

    My job is to suck :)

  86. 86
  87. 87
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Keep your hair on!

  88. 88
    old SHEP says:

    Good points, why do Elephants weigh 2 tons when they only eat salad?.

  89. 89

    No. A troll would not have knocked out an interrogation remark…

  90. 90
    BBC Labour Loving says:

    We have the questions ready, err we mean we will have the audience questions ready, err we mean later. Cue David, interrupt tory now, and now, and now. Cue David let Diane go on, and on, and on. Cue David, snide comment to tory.

  91. 91
    hand standing panda says:

    BBC reported the destruction of WTC7 20 minutes before it happened, odd that.
    nearly all eye witnesses were media people, odd that.

  92. 92
    Bert says:

    3. Does he know he’s black?

  93. 93
    Google-eyes Ed. says:


  94. 94
    Jimmy says:

    The Conservative Party: Leaving a bad taste in the mouth since 1832.

  95. 95
    Ed Miliband is not laughing now says:

    Mansion tax to be lowered to properties valued at 1.8 million.

  96. 96
    Labour supports scroungers says:

    Is it the taste of no benefits.

  97. 97
    old SHEP says:

    But you can have ten properties valued at £1.5 million, simples!.

  98. 98
    SP4BS says:

    I made that up all on my own, Mr. theft

    You know, from lots of different facts and ideas gained from lots of different sources. And without particular nagging ideas like its something to do with the BBC, cock.

  99. 99
    Anonymous says:

    Didn’t Fabricant take an unmarked jar of “Coffee Mate” with him on a walking tour of Colombia a few years ago? He couldn’t understand why the authorities were so interested by the white powder in his rucksack.

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    Or ask a spider.

  101. 101
    Philip Schofield says:

    I can

  102. 102
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ve been experimenting with blowing water up my bottom using a bit of hose pipe

  103. 103
    P l e b says:

    Why aren’t Vodafone, Google and Starbucks on said list?
    Oh and Philip Green?

  104. 104
    hand standing panda says:

    and knock a hole through the joining wall for the kids and the horse.

  105. 105
    P l e b says:

    You keep going on about Margaret Hodge, whilst not mentioning Ashcroft, Cameron and Osborne.

  106. 106
    P l e b says:

    What a knob. And they want us to respect them.

  107. 107
    Lol says:

    Next question – has your syrup got a “this way up” label in it. If not, that could be the problem.

  108. 108
    P l e b says:

    Great Questions Of Our Time:

    How did George Osborne get to be Chancellor?

  109. 109
    Sloth says:

    No members of Mrs Thatcher’s Cabinet arrested yet?

  110. 110
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    I believe it comes from ‘blowsy’, a Victorian slang term for prostitute.

    Before you ask – no, that’s not from personal experience, I’m old, but not that old.

  111. 111
    Sexual acts explained for every occassion says:

    Its called a blow job because its the receiver who blows not the giver. Think of a volcano or Geysir “Blowing” . Glad to be of assistance.

  112. 112
    The savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    In italian its called a pompino .

    In US porn shoots ilts called a fluffer job

    In french its probably called Une. Lettre. Anglais

    For other lingo s. go to. Google. Translate

  113. 113
    The savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    That is ultra gross

    Retract immediately.

    Unless you know for a fact. In which case report to police.

  114. 114
    HMV says:

    There’s a turkey baster in the kitchen.

  115. 115
    The savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    Try. Wikipedia— Fellatio

  116. 116
    The savant 10.4 highway patrol says:


    He should apply for the D. F. C. And. Bar.

    Or possibly the. V. D. And. Scar

  117. 117
    Jock-Strapped says:

    Very good.

  118. 118
    Psycho alert says:

    There’s something very creepy about your lot’s obsession with kiddy-fiddling

  119. 119
    Anonymous says:

    I actually saw that happen live on the news.
    There was also the case of Dubaya the Chimp talking about how he’d watched both jets go in on the TV in his car when there had only been footage of one available.
    The dancing Iraselis are actually on video stating how they were sent there to document the event.

  120. 120
    The wizz says:

    you are on the point SC, once a troll knows the game is up it reverts to form by changing the subject. Pathetic really.

  121. 121
    Prescott's chipolata says:

    Is Margie Beckett on then?

  122. 122
    The wizz says:

    Why? Who interred her or shouldn’t I ask?

  123. 123
    The wizz says:

    Same way that Ed Bollocks, became Shallow Chancellor, its not what you know its who you know.

  124. 124
    hand standing panda says:

    I think I will go to this court case. thing is if you get close to making a difference they will kill you. what is their fear ?

  125. 125
    hand standing panda says:

    I think it is something to do with “normal” folk being concerned that the people who have achieved power are a clan of perverts

  126. 126
    gordon brown says:

    she only lets me have a plastic jug and my bit of hose. I would like access to the taps but I am not allowed, sometimes I make the water all brown ( hee hee) looking and I discovered that I can make large drawings of cocks on my walls with this liquid, which I find tremendously exciting, I don’t know why.

  127. 127
    Mike Syrup Fabricant says:

    Piss off Handycock you pervert.

  128. 128
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Somebody call? Boaz.

  129. 129
    Vive la difference says:

    Non monsieur, vous vous trompez. Une “lettre anglaise” est le meme chose q’une “lettre francais” en Angleterre. Comprenez?

  130. 130
    Curly says:

    Fanlight Fanny the frowsy nightclub queen.

    If you don’t know that – gewgel it.

  131. 131
    Just passing through says:

    A few weeks ago, our host rapidly deleted a very interesting yutoob clip showing how big business and banking fraud was actually behind it and how the tentacles spread between all the major US banking and insurance firms. Reason given was that they were all so deep into the doodoo and were about to be exposed. You will all remember that the majority of companies housed in the towers were involved in financial affairs. Too bad all the personnel and records disappeared in a puff of aviation fuel.

    Now, as BW might say, who controls the bankers?

  132. 132
    Just passing through says:

    In the early days of the telly (1950s) there was a prog featuring the best comedians of the day (Ted Ray and a few others) providing answers to daft questions such as those posted here. The only one I can remember was: Why does water come out of the tap all rolled up”. So long ago I can’t recall what the responses were.

  133. 133
    Marrow Fat says:

    That’s 4 different things. Where did you get your sex education or are you aged 12?

  134. 134
    yeah, right... says:

    Cameron and Osborne fair enough. Hypocritical twits of the highest order.

    I don’t, however, remember Lord Ashcroft ever rusbridging.*

    * Demanding that others pay more tax whilst carefully avoiding to do so oneself ref La Hodge.

  135. 135
    Hugh Mann says:

    I seem to recall that Ms Penny once posted “artistic” pictures of herself on her blog – about 5 years back. Didn’t like her politics, but her bum was quite nice.

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Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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