February 19th, 2013

Exclusive to All Papers…And the Eye Two Weeks Later

It’s that time again. After Guido’s number-crunching two weeks ago, this week round Private Eye has finally decided against devoting any more column inches to this blog. There is, however, no let up in out of date news on offer in the latest offering from Lord Gnome’s organ.

This week’s Eye tells the tale of an amusing begging email sent by Paddy Ashdown to both friend and foe, asking for cash to help in the Eastleigh by-election fight. Wind back a week to the 12th, the day the email was sent, and you could have seen it in full on Guido and elsewhere. Not to mention the speedy reply from an unlikely recipient.

It’s yesterday’s news…


  1. 1
    Drivèl-Watch says:

    SO WHAT?

  2. 2
    Lunchtime O'Booze says:

    Shorely Shum Mishtake?

  3. 3
    imitation is flattering Guido ... f 'em says:

    private eye is in a backwater of interest these days… was only read at it’s height because there was no competition and hislop these completely risible

  4. 4

    To be fair we don’t read the eye for up to date news….

  5. 5
    anon says:

    Private Eye is Pedigree Chum compared with the plain horse meat, en gelée, that is this blog.

  6. 6
    Another Satisfied Reader says:

    What’s the matter Guido not getting the invites to dinner over the weekend? FFS we want real gossip not f_cking journo public school bum boy bitching

  7. 7
    Incapable Vince says:

    We will bring in a tax on Yesterday’s News.

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    I read your website and Private Eye. There is room and probably a need in the world for both of you, attacking each other is demeaning and rather petty.

  9. 9
    joanna public says:

    Ditto, all political blogs/publications/broadcasts.

  10. 10
    imitation is flattering Guido ... f 'em says:

    and in a pre internet world it was a quasi equivalent of order-order now

  11. 11
    V1le, spiteful Labour ruined my Country says:

    There needs to be a 90% political class tax, levied on all earnings and assets greater than £1.

  12. 12
    Spokeshave says:

    Er … both this organ and the printed one are demeaning and rather petty.

  13. 13
    P.I. says:

    “imitation is flattering”

    no irony there, then

  14. 14
    Not many of them to the pound says:

    The Page 3 stunna?

  15. 15
    T'Old Fella says:

    For goodness sake Geedo, stop messing about with Lord Gnome’s organ, people will beginning to talk

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    Break a story like the Bristol heart scandal, and I’ll regard this blog as being as worthwhile as Private Eye.

    Re-printing e-mails someone has sent you is different to journalism.

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Agree – demeans Guido as much as The Eye. Bit hard anyway for a fortnightly publication to be bang up to date with everything. Guido runs with a better class of people these days – hence the sun articles. You cannot read Sunday’s Sun articles on this blog until Monday anyway so Guido is behind himself – best place for him.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Agreed! Stop bragging Guido you arse.

  19. 19
    T'Old Fella says:

    Do you think handbags at dawn would settle the spat?

  20. 20
    here he goes again.. says:

    you’re being churlish Anon … both have their place and you spend plenty of time on here so cut the crap.

  21. 21
    Iwantthetruth says:

    Guido…Private Eye offers so much more than out of date news. It is the magazine with the guts that the newpapers don’t have. Don’t fight with them you are both on the same side. It makes you look petty. Long may you both continue.

  22. 22
    Just askin says:

    Sticks and stones may break our bones but words will never hurt us

  23. 23
    Just askin says:

    if you don’t lick this blog, then you are free to take a full refund and fuck off

  24. 24
    Polly Toynski says:

    Hello, my name is Polly Toynski and I am columnist with the Daily Turnip here in Bucharest. I am writing to let you know that I am coming to London next year and I can write opinion piece for newspapers for only £50 a time. My editor, Zoltan Rusbridger, is also coming to London. He is learning the zongora in his spare time. He plays “My mother fix the tractor while the wolves howl” very badly, I’m afraid! But he will edit newspaper for only £10,000 per year. I hear the Guardian is losing money. Perhaps we can work there. We have many journalists coming who can work there, name your price we are very keen.

  25. 25
    ████ ' changed my tune ' Hoon says:

    This is my private iPad

  26. 26
    Anonymous says:

    Here, here. You both do a great job which makes me wonder what is the spat all about? Just get on with what you both do best.

  27. 27
    GoBalls says:

    Hislop sold his sole to the MSM years ago. I hope it never happens to you Guido.

  28. 28
    P l e b says:

    Cameron: “Kate Middleton” and “Princess Kate”

    Doesn’t he know the woman’s name?

  29. 29
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Must be down to Ian Hisloppy.

  30. 30
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Do you clean toilets as well?

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Welcome to Poundland: Derelict properties bought for up to £70,000 under Prezza’s failed regeneration scheme go on sale at rock-bottom price of a QUID EACH

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2281054/Houses-bought-70-000-John-Prescotts-regeneration-Pathfinder-scheme-sold-just-1-each.html#ixzz2LN4lMJhX
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    At least he hasn’t sold out to Rupert and the ZioLoons, you fat tart, Greed-0.

  33. 33
    Newscorp Lickspittle says:

    The obvious difference between PI and OO is that PI is funny

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    P.Eye is better than the Sun any day.

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Lick? Freudian slip there, hey arselicker?!

  36. 36

    Hilary Mantel Describes Kate Middleton as

    “shop-window mannequin” with a fake smile whose only purpose in life is to breed”

    Well true or not , it’s better than looking like Worzel Gummidge’s. ugly sister

    what a fuckin munter !

  37. 37
    Not mentally disordered; says:



  38. 38
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Hence the expression, ‘You don’t look at Mantel’s face when you’re poking the fire’

  39. 39
    Spanghero Lampshade says:


    And the cartoons are worth the price alone.

  40. 40

    Rather like Hillary Clinton looking in a distorted mirror.

  41. 41
    Red Egg Millitit.....National Socialist. says:

    Naughty naughty….. legal advice pulled the Ms Pryce piece ? :)

  42. 42
    Red Egg Millitit.....National Socialist. says:

    Not wanting to upset the moo – slims, but this person is a p i g in knickers :)


  43. 43
    NE Frontiersman says:

    PE has covered countless stories of public interest years before the MSM dared to touch them. Only PE cover the cesspit of incompetence and corruption that is local government, often enabling prosecutions that otherwise would not have occurred. They might be an even better rag if they left the bitchier gossip – which has its own value in puncturing the pomp of the mighty – to you. Live and let live.

  44. 44
    Fact Hunt says:

    Plug’s mother.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    Shock News! Fortnightly publication can only report events once every two weeks!

  46. 46
    Bugler Bert says:

    Hey Guido; are you Violet Elizabeth Bott in disguise? If not, try growing up…….

  47. 47
    Mother says:

    Whatever is the matter? Did they turn you down?
    You are behaving like spoilt children.
    Just stop it!

  48. 48
    What happens if I knocks out ALL my teeth, Daddy? says:

    Did S t a i n e s really name his girls “Rich” & “Mark”, FFS?
    How twisted is that?

  49. 49
    Infanta of Castile says:

    +1 shock horror, fortnightly publication has to wait up to 14 days to publish news

  50. 50
  51. 51

    Good evening sir , i trust she will not be going on the spit

  52. 52
    john@loggerheads says:

    Thank goodness Mantel didn’t breed!
    Not that anyone would want the job anyway.

  53. 53
  54. 54
    B Boyd says:

    Ian Hislop – one of us. Bought and paid for.

  55. 55
    What happens if I knocks out ALL my teeth, Daddy? says:

    *Note to self*

    Elsie, old bag and stalwart of this crappy blog, bunkered by Mr. Petty Nomates.

  56. 56
  57. 57
    Guido says:

    I shan’t, I shan’t, I shan’t!

  58. 58
    Libertarian Blog Moderator says:

    She typed a sentence that contained several illegal ideas in it.

  59. 59
    Owin Jones says:

    I no longer give a fuck, well, I do, but fuck it..

  60. 60
    Jimmy says:

    Still no invite for HIGNFY?

    You’re taking it well though.

  61. 61
    CarryHole is a stupendous Hunt says:

    Pity… If Presclot was more of a Bastiat than a Bastard this would never have happened.

    I wonder whether any Zanu-Lab donors were amongst those getting 70K for their 1quid houses?

  62. 62
    Uncle Guido says:

    I shines Massa Murdoch’s shoes ’cause I wants to, not ’cause I needs to!

  63. 63
    Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler says:

    No he sold out to the thick lefties.

  64. 64
    Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler says:

    Who knows their next edition may feature the outbreak of horse meat contamination. Can’t wait for that scoop.

  65. 65


    How much mindbleach do you have, sir?

  66. 66
    Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler says:

    Are you prepared to lick Miliband cock?

  67. 67
    Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler says:

    Mysogynist alert!

  68. 68
    Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler says:

    The next edition is a Titanic special.

  69. 69
    Sir William Wade says:

    The Eye has stories of real substance from many areas of real life, not just the latest Westminster gossip. Also, it has good jokes.

  70. 70

    Don’t be a сunt all your life. Take a day off.

  71. 71
    Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler says:

    It’s one in the eye for Harold.

    Duodecicentenary magazine reveals the result of the Battle of Hastings.

  72. 72
    Pislop Paper says:

    It will be fresh horse shit.

  73. 73
    Guido and Hyslop the Harry Styles & Taylor Swift of Satire says:

    Though it doesnt have the fictitious posters this blog has !

  74. 74
    Lick my Butt says:

    . . . .

  75. 75
    Engineer says:

    The BBC have given him one token ‘Any Questions’ appearance so that they can say they haven’t blanked him. That’ll be his lot, though; they’ll do a David Bellamy/Robin Page on him now.

    Don’t think it bothers him, either. The money’s rolling in, the blog’s doing OK. Who needs the BBC?

  76. 76
    Jimmy says:

    And then of course there’s the issue of cartoon quality…

  77. 77
    We can only hope says:

    The dream of many millions.

  78. 78
    Jimmy says:

    Not to mention a few heads up his sphincter apparently.

    Life is good.

  79. 79
    Alex says:

    Expect better from both you and Hislop than the childish little bitch fight you seem to be currently engaged in tbh.

  80. 80
    Archibald The Dog says:

    Beware the wrath of Lord Gnome

  81. 81
    Sage Owen Jones says:

    Some deep political analysis from the left:

    Jones should consider this:


    Or more simply, what was 1997 Blair’s campaign slogan ?

    ‘New Labour Because Britain Deserves Better’

    D:Reams’s ‘Things can only get better’ was the song.

    Thatcher’s GE slogans:

    1979 : Labour isn’t Working
    1983 : Britain’s on the right track
    1987 : It’s Great To Be Great Again

    This is either complete ignorance on Jones’ part, or a new type of revisionism.

  82. 82
    Bugler Bert says:

    How about this for a joks – just a lamtelpiece for you, my wallflower……..

  83. 83
    Pislop Paper says:

    Little knockers.

  84. 84
    Pislop Paper says:

    So are you.

  85. 85
    Missed that says:

    There’s a cartoon on this blog?

  86. 86
    Bogbrush says:

    Er….I don’t usually post here.

  87. 87
    A two-year-old says:

    Me draw it YAY!!

  88. 88
    D'Jango says:

    You are Ian Hislop and I claim my five pounds!!!

  89. 89
    Crazy Legs says:

    Can Staines and Hislop arrange a dance-off?

  90. 90
    Lord Gnome says:

    And now some late cricket news:

    WG Grace. c Palmer b Boyle. 8

    (Old Trafford, First Test v Australia)

  91. 91
    Maqboul says:

    Much as I admire this blog, Private Eye will be going strong long after it has gone. It has earned its spurs. They do need to dump Hislop though.

  92. 92
    Sir William Wade says:

    Dibbler, is it true that you are the sole supplier of beef to T*sco, F*ndus and British schools and prisons?

  93. 93
    Who is the cunt says:

    I suspect that is exactly what everybody thinks when you greet them with your Treaty of Rome.

    Well spotted @Please can I …

  94. 94
    Tim Yeo is a useless sack of shit says:

    “Who needs the BBC?”

    Not watched it, heard it (nor even looked at its website) since 1999.

    But I’m still supposed to pay for it.

    But I don’t. :-)

    (why has it taken 8 attempts and more than 10 minutes to post this message? This blog is a piece of shit.)

  95. 95
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP.

  96. 96
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    K-KSKREEEEETT!!! (scrittle)

  97. 97
    Uncle Joe and Adolf fall out despite being two cheeks of the same left wing totalitarian arse says:

    You say Motherland
    I say Fatherland
    Lets call the whole thing off.

  98. 98
    dennis says:

    HELP! According to Guido’s ads section, I live in fucking Taunton ffs.

  99. 99
    Mr Quelch says:

    As any fule kno, the Gnome Organ has broken masses of scandals & cover -ups since it’s conception back in the 60’s. How many times has Blogmeister Guido been up before the beak for stretching the laws of libel eh ? Real investigative journalism sails close to the wind.

    P.S : I read Guido nearly every day & also subscribe to The Eye.

  100. 100
    dennis says:

    I think the green eyed monster has made an appearance, LOL!

  101. 101
    Mong Watch says:

    Some deep political analysis from the left:

    What was Labour’s 1997 campaign slogan ?

    ‘New Labour Because Britain Deserves Better’

    D:Reams’s ‘Things can only get better’ was the song.

    Conservative GE slogans:

    1979 : Labour isn’t Working
    1983 : Britain’s on the right track
    1987 : It’s Great To Be Great Again


  102. 102
    Engineer says:

    Merely an observation.

    I gather this is the only political blog that makes a profit. Clearly, in your twisted world, that’s a sin; political blogs should be taxpayer funded, but only if the right people say so.

    I can understand that you’re sore at our host lifting two fingers to one of the tenets of your political creed, but that’s life. Have another deep-fried Mars-bar and chill, Jimmy.

  103. 103

    Even after a few pints of good old Lancashire real ale that would still look rough !

  104. 104
    Engineer says:

    Count your blessings – it could have been Islington!

  105. 105
    and Badger says:

    Mashed potato.

  106. 106
    Peter Cook says:

  107. 107

    Good to see you’re back, sir.

    Your front as well, of course.

  108. 108
    Anonymous says:

    What’s happened to the Vicky Pryce jury story?

  109. 109
    Fog says:

    Mantel looks like a Halloween pumpkin.

  110. 110
    Hugh Janus says:


  111. 111
  112. 112
    Fog says:

    I read Private Eye and I read this blog. And will continue…

  113. 113
    Paul Merton's weekly hilarious Chazza impression says:

    Private Eye prints plenty of stories against the Beeboids *and* the Dirty Digger’s empire. That must be why Rupe has instructed his catamite to “redress the balance”.

  114. 114
    Anonymous says:

    imitation is better than no imitation?
    whi does not like the sun….we all enjoy….somehow time stands still when the sunray bathe us…the one’s in early morning even make the birds sing with joy.
    the purpose of the p.eye is to discover the truth.
    within the layers of truth hidden as if inside a set if russian dolls….as we discover at the end…of the endless set of dolls that there is ultimately nothing there…so the p.eye is waste.

    as before we follow the trail of truth…lets consider that there was ultimately nothing before the unverse came into being. the greatest truth is unknowable as how can you no nothing…yes it can be appreciated….but no more.
    so as the great sc says the more you know the more you realise that how little we know. bw is a novice and gf is the sun god.

  115. 115
    chiropodist says:

    With a foot in both camps you must have very large feet.

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    And in the age of instant news, who’s fault is that?

  117. 117
    Guido says:

    You be nithe to me or I’ll scweam and scweam until I make mythelf thick – I can, you know

  118. 118
    David Minibanana says:

    Which imbecile was Energy Secretary between 2008 & 2010 ?


  119. 119
    Great British Public says:

    Don’t be daft !

  120. 120
    Guido says:

    The latht one wath an impothter- I typed: You be nithe to me or I’ll thcweam and thcweam until I make mythelf thick – I can, you know

  121. 121
    The Loony Left says:

    It’s her human right ………..

  122. 122
    Casual Observer says:

    Interesting article:


    Breasts could be the key to restoring some privacy ?

  123. 123
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    Why ruin a good thing fucknose

  124. 124
  125. 125
    Owin Jones says:

    Guido when will you realize that your opinion doesn’t fucking matter to me?

  126. 126
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    i pray for you

  127. 127
    Mong Watch says:

    Huh ?

  128. 128
    Anonymous says:

    you’re so up you’re own ar$e

  129. 129
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    OK Polly, you time has come. Whip that top off and we can then look the Current Bun in the Eye.

  130. 130
    passing wind says:

    …. a woman scorned etc.

  131. 131
    E.J. Thribb, age seventeen-and-a-half, says:

    So. Farewell, then?

    Private Eye– like Bedlam,
    A venerable old British institution,
    And in much the same fashion,
    Outlived its raison d’etre,
    When folk didn’t find it funny anymore,
    To be fair.
    Well, then…

  132. 132
    Blowing Whistles says:

    As for sc – a know all LEGend in his own lunchtime. “bw is a novice” eh -Flattered very much thank you.

    And Anonymous – is the Desperate Self-appointed pisspoorprofessionally paid troll – or not paid troll trying to compete where he is out of his league.

    Do please try and make your paragraphs concise, readable and in a grammatical and intelligible sense.

    Do please also state your facts in a simple and easily readable format otherwise – keep posting as you do and I “WILL KEEP LAUGHING MY FUCKING BOLLOX OFF”.

  133. 133
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    You are not up to date

  134. 134
    Calamity Clegg says:

    I would like the LibDem council in Eastleigh to ensure that all these they have granted building permission for, are Mansions so that Vince can tax them.

  135. 135
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    We can do better.

  136. 136
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Think of the hungry people it could feed in this country!

  137. 137
    passing wind says:

    This comment board seems rather “lite” today. Is the NUJ still on strike in some areas?

  138. 138
    Fishy says:

    He probably sabotaged our energy policy so we’d have to buy all of our gas from Mother Russia

  139. 139
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    Aha ha ha

  140. 140
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    We have assumed control. We have assumed control. We have assumed control.

  141. 141
    Not a fan of Labour or this woman but says:

    That is quite cheap to keep the horse. About GBP 2400 a year.

    Is a bit off that it is at the tax payers expense, but given the number of children she has, per child it is not much and a good investment.

    Better the kids are occupied with the horse than stealing cars, getting into drugs etc.

  142. 142
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    You need a pea

  143. 143
    EU Watch says:

    Electricity from France for sure.

  144. 144
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I read the link at first as ….. Hilary-Mantel-“boxer”-winner

    Now was my first thought of she looks like a boxer dog the truth that first sprang to mind?

    She is one fugly looking bitch.

  145. 145
    The Far Right says:

    C’mon – big shout out for the Lobster next ?

  146. 146
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    No butts it’s got to be butter

  147. 147
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof

  148. 148
  149. 149
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Has PE ever ever really thrown 5hit at the masons – I know not. In fact they daren’t. At least here we can throw 5hit at the loons from the lodge.

  150. 150
    Euripides says:

    There once was a blogger named Guido
    The advert-boys tended to feed. Oh!
    He dissed Private Eye
    And scoffed his horse pie
    Whilst leaving the blog to his pea dough.

  151. 151
    R. Youshore says:

    Benefits are designed to be a lifesaver, not a lifestyle choice.

  152. 152
    Blowing Whistles says:

    You wouldn’t want to live where so many mongrels live though – In ‘Denial’ of the whole unpalatable truth about the communist marxist zioloons’ BUSTED AGENDA.

  153. 153
    Saffron says:

    The lib dumbs are a no hope party of sandal wearing green party of assholes who will be wiped out at the next election.
    Their non policies day by day smack of desperation and I think that the voters can see this.
    This party has always been on the back end of politics,pray look at their history,they chose to go Con rather than Lie thinking that this is our way to power,have they proved what they really stand for.
    Well yes they have and it is the most incompetant party ever,who do not and will never represent the aspirations of the majority of people in this land.
    Will Cammoron ever stand up to these misfits,well all the signs are not unless he suddenly grows a pair and becomes a conservative,which he does not show any signs at this point in time.

  154. 154
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    It’s just a very bad photo.

    Check her out here :


    It’s her dress and the background which make things really bad. The blue is too pale with her skin and doesn’t really go with hair / lipstick color. And her roots are showing.

    The killer though is the harsh white lighting she is under, and cold filter on the camera. Anyone would look awful having photo taken in those conditions.

    The photo included here looks better. Higher cut dress, no blue, not too bad. The warmer lighting and filter are much kinder as well.

  155. 155
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I Watched Kevin Marxist Communist Magoo Maguire discussing this mother on LAST NIGHTS Sky paper review about 10:30pm with A Pierce.

    Could not believe Maguires attempt to ‘justify the woman and all the benefit scroungers in the UK’ – it was quite pitiful of Maguire. But very insightful as to maguires tendency.

  156. 156
    +++BREAKING SNOOZE+++ says:


  157. 157
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Thank you Alan Rsebridger for your insightful intelligent comment.

    btw Silent Bob will forever be better than you.

  158. 158
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Perhaps NBW … but she is still a pig wearing lipstick and there ain’t nothin gonna improve that mug.

  159. 159
    Not a fan of Labour or this woman but says:

    Agreed, but the damage has been done.

    The state intervened and allowed this situation to develop. How that can be undone without creating a more serious set of problems for society to deal with is tricky.

    Looking at the ages of her children, 8 of the 11 were born since 1997 when Labour got in. Smoking gun ?

    Cannot attack her. Her family are a victim of the unreality state that Labour created.

    Adjusting her back to reality will be difficult as there is no benefit to anybody pushing the family into a poverty trap.

    There most certainly is benefit in housing them properly and ensuring that they can work and not feel they need to have 11 kids to survive: But that is their choice.

    I do not intend any puns.

    The horse is not a major issue. It will likely not survive more than 2 more years, and for her younger children it is a good occupation now.

    Irresponsible state meddling in the benefits system from 1997 through 2010 is the only thing that can be attacked here. And should be most vigorously.

  160. 160
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Martin Short who wrote inside the brotherhoodies – was a put up job.

    Stephen Knight – was the man.

  161. 161
    Owin Jones says:

    Lib Dems gearing up for last push in Eastleigh this weekend – except for Nick Clegg who is fucking off to Spain on holiday.

  162. 162
    I thought it was quite funny says:

    He deserves everything he gets – the reference back to one of his more idiotic comments was first class. Well done @Please can I come on holiday with you.

    If SC makes a twat of himself, I don’t see why we can’t have a laugh at his expense.

    Why is it that the regular comment makers so often refer to each other as “Sir”

  163. 163
    Anonymous says:


  164. 164
    Stilted moddee says:

    Priv.I runs stories against both Beeb and Murdo despite Hislop’s panto career. G.Dough speaks his massa’s voice

  165. 165
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and her prose is somewhat attractive. I do not question your taste, so do not think I criticize.

    There is quite a lot which could improve her look. Some of the above, and Google up photoshop enhancement and you will find some good info.

    Quite handy to know about, as people do not realize just how manipulated photos and video (the techniques can be done in real time with a video stream) are these days.

    Lots of makeup / cosmetic options as well.

    In person she will look different. The camera always flattens images. The angle that shot was taken from is bad: If she was facing the camera, head slightly turned side but looking into the lens her face would look narrower which would likely be more aesthetically pleasing.

    Some strategically placed makeup, softer lighting and lens and a little photoshop work and she could help the TLS shift a few more copies than normal.

  166. 166
    the posh scouser says:

    Their cartoons are funny though, something your page has failed to manage yet. Why can’t the 2 of you get on. You look a little childish in my eye. It’s printed every 2 weeks and covers more than this site does. You’re self-righteousness bores me. If you carry on like this I’ll be forced to cancel my broadband subscription.

  167. 167
    Ed Miliband says:

    I wasn’t saying one nation. I was saying one asian. I was talking about Keith Vaz.

  168. 168
    E-Bays says:

    It’s a shame really. If she isn’t terrorising you, it means you’re no longer relevant. Still, it was your choice, yeah?

  169. 169
    Mad Max says:

    Could be a alluding to ‘Letters to the editor’… even though that doesn’t really work.

    Am still trying to figure out what the Holiday / Rome remark was all about. Fairly certain in downtown Warsaw, if the locals are trying to rip you off for double price half measure coffee, waving the Treaty in their face is likely to just ensure you get thorough kicking after you’ve paid and got half way down the street.

    The big test of the EU: Would that Treaty trick work with a prostitute and her pimp, if there was a problem with the service and the price ?

  170. 170

    Everyone is talking about me, Ed. xxx

  171. 171
    The Milk Marketing Board of Lithuania says:

    Vote UKIP !

  172. 172
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Once again Marxist Mason on Newsnight having a wank over Golden Shower or whatever they’re called in Greece. This lefty BBC cuunt just can’t stop reporting from Greece about “right wingers” can he? Despite the fact most of the violence comes from the left.

    Fuck off Mason you lefty wanker.

  173. 173
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    +++Urgh pediatrician+++

  174. 174
    R. Youshore says:

    I understand your point of view but we have a significant problem for future generations unfolding before us. These kids ( and their kids ) will grow up expecting to be fed, watered, housed and funded in perpetuity.

    This is clearly unsustainable and the ‘entitlements’ culture fostered by Labour has to be addressed – fast.

  175. 175
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    Teh ende

  176. 176
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    you must be round the bend

  177. 177
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:

    Cheese you fucking loon

  178. 178
    Alan Rusbridger is Romanian for sheep's arse and the Manchester Guardian is a poorly built hencoop says:


  179. 179
    Anonymous says:

    a world class individual you are as you world class knowledge…10years effort show it.
    you use that power in a balanced way.
    but you do not work for the highest good, with respect…though you are noble intent.
    …..a humanitarian does not pick ‘n choose. yu do.
    …..yr finger is on the natural justice. this is correct but the emotion behind it creates imprecision.
    is this simple.

  180. 180
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Because slag woman is a Labour voter and her scummy kids will all be future Labour voters.

  181. 181
    The Libor party says:

  182. 182
    Not a fan of Labour or this woman but says:


    That is why the system has and is being changed right now, thankfully.

    The eldest already has one child.

    Before being unduly harsh on this family it would be wise to ask whether the children have expectations that they will get everything for free off of the state. That may not be completely the case.

    Fully agree that the cycle needs to be arrested here.

    The problem you mention is more widespread as evidenced by the riots the other year. Killing the economy and with it non-state employment opportunities has not helped. The state footing the bill is not sustainable without the state regressing into some sort of totalitarian regime.

    It is interesting to note that the mother here seems to be doing everything correct by her children. There has been no hint of anything other than odd family planning being off there, and an odd but understandable expectation on her front regarding accommodation.

    The only thing that should be attacked right now in the context of that T’Graph article and this family is the states involvement in enabling that situation. This is a problem created by Labour policies and needs to be recognized as such.

    The family should not be the target.

  183. 183
    Point of Information says:

    Syriza, the far left, are the ones who are responsible for most of the unrest, attacks on the Greek Parliament etc.

    Some of their actions have been wrongly attributed to Golden Dawn it has emerged.

    Marxist Mason at Newsnight has no credibility. Peston is common purpose.

  184. 184
    Biased BBC says:

    Well said, why the BBC still find the need to employ ex communists and pinkos is beyond me in this day and age.

  185. 185
    Anonymous says:

    . . please correct me if I am wrong.
    you think that mother nature, i.e nature on mother earth knows best. or is that nature is indestructible and hence it know best…. unclear about your depths. However,
    does nature distinguish between the good and bad.. as when tsunami hits all get wiped out…the good, bad and the ugly.
    if this is natural justice then a miscarriage of justice is natural justice…as it is blind?
    if you want just justice then it is natural justice plus.
    but are you natural justice plus yourself?
    if not where is your integrity in asking for something that you yourself may or may not be. you need to become a true humanitarian as what you seek under the guise of natural justice is true humanity.
    but when you become a true humanitarian i.e work for everyone’s good then the question of justice does not arise…does it?

  186. 186
    No Justice Anymore says:

  187. 187
    Anonymous says:

    What ? There are Mark+thing’s cartoons… Oh, I see what you mean…

  188. 188
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Anony – you need therapy – ‘cos what you endlessly waffle on about ain’t normal human beings – humanitarianism is just another fucked up “cult”.

  189. 189
    Anonymous says:

    although corruption is global, the political class is a place of disrepute in the main, but not everywhere. of the main countries probably only the chinese and the russians think that on balance they are better off with their politicians.
    if so, then..

  190. 190
    Blowing Whistles says:

    nbw – you’re havin a larf. Even in person she is probably ugly – don’t get into all this photoshop5hit – its not a subject I am going to say anymore about.

  191. 191
    EU Watch says:

    This is why Assange has gone into the Ecuadorian embassy in London.

    The scope for abuse of the EAW was discussed when the legislation was going through the EU Parliament, but it still went in.

    It is seriously abused on the continent. In particular it has been used politically to have people removed from certain countries to another.

  192. 192
    Blowing Whistles says:

    And I will keep throwing the 5hit at all of them.

  193. 193
    UK Watch says:

    Another way that Labour funded the socialist paradise was by diverting funds which should have gone into these kind of problems into social security and expanding government.

  194. 194
    Anonymous says:

    so… pe lacks integrity. it may have stories of substance as ww states but if it lacks integrity then…
    even if it does nt lack integrity then its scope is limited if it leaves out something f significance.
    ww likes jokes in pe but no doubt they are at someone’s expense. that’s fine but then why complain when the courts are “unjust”.

  195. 195
    Jeremy 'TaxPlan' Paxman says:

    Actually, I’m a bit of a champagne socialist. Just don’t tell Chris Fatten.

  196. 196
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    @BW: I thought he was going on about humanism or some other new age shtick.

    Here is the reality to counter the iffy idealism:

  197. 197
    Anonymous says:

    can you clarify what is your “cult”

  198. 198
    Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr, J., US Supreme Court says:

    “Three generations of imbeciles are enough.”


    Of course, I also famously wrote an essay, “The Path Of The Law,” in which I caution young law students never to confuse what is “lawful” with what is “moral” — so there you are.


  199. 199
    Blowing Whistles says:

    And it all remains quiet on the Jack Straw / David Miliband Rendition Flights front then … hello is documentary evidence uncovered in Libya – being silenced or is their further horsetrading going on in the darker arts circles?

  200. 200
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Mason did some report about right wingers (yawn) in Spain the other week, yet when they did the studio bit all the guests basically said Mason was exaggerating it.

    He really is a mong.

  201. 201
    Anonymous says:

    idealism unless grounded is of nil value in practice.
    greatest truth is raw….and dark…..hence not for the delicates.
    it appears that bw wants closure to do with the work he has done in the past 10 years and move to anther level. i may be wrong.

  202. 202
    Anonymous says:

    neither the ground, reality or truth is iffy.

  203. 203
    Blowing Whistles says:

    to anon – keep fishing sucker

    as for you being wrong – you is a mong.

  204. 204
    Blowing Whistles says:

    2 anonys – it like talking to 2 poles …

  205. 205
    Blowing Whistles says:

    but he’s got a split personality – and moniker by all accounts

  206. 206
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I see you’ve had a few days off SC – does that make you a ….

  207. 207
    Blowing Whistles says:

    whoever you are – you’re neither funny, entertaining or interesting – just bland and boring.

  208. 208
    I thought it was quite funny says:

    See comment 108 – another Sir from SC

  209. 209
    Handycock from his sickbed says:

    Hear hear, peddling filth and lies trying to besmirch the reputations of honest, honourable, hardworking and unselfish MP’s like me, trying his best to bring holistic solutions for troubled constituents.

  210. 210
    Omar Mahmoud Othman says:

    I’d like to thank the NHS for giving me a hand to stay in the UK.

  211. 211
    Anonymous says:

    Agreed, establishment gatekeeper, so far, no further.

  212. 212
    Captain Hook says:

    ‘ear ‘ear.

  213. 213
    The Fifty Seventh Earl of Perineum says:

    It is interesting to see that most Britons don’t see any point in saving money as maybe they think it will all be taken away from them.

    It may also reflect that a large number misguidedly think that the state will step in and rescue them.

    If correct, the above possibilities reflect two sides of the same coin.


  214. 214
    freddie fraudster says:

    Methinks Guido that you are just upset that lord Gnome is better looking funnier and has a longer sword even if it is bent

  215. 215
    Footnote says:

    Anonymous is 104 years old.

  216. 216
    Anonymous says:

    Which is even worse…

  217. 217

    Fuckin hell ! i just lost the will to live reading that , Please don’t ever come into my pub we would have a mass suicide you boring c*nt

  218. 218
    MUNTER WATCH says:

    Maybe photo manipulation was used to make her look better so as to not make us throw up

  219. 219
    Operation Crossbow says:

    The BBC however will just blame the Tories.

  220. 220
    Owin Jones says:

    A Findus spokesman explained tonight that products from Findus will no longer be labelled with calories.

    Now it’s horsepower.

  221. 221
    The man at the back with the awful jumper - yes you sir says:

    I read this blog and I read Private Eye. Does the self-styled Mr Fawkes now demand that we choose between them? There’s a lot in PE which doesn’t appear here – and vice versa (which is Latin for something).
    Both organs specialise in unmasking the corruption and hypocrisy which goes on in High Places, so why the sniping at each other? Just what the government wants! The more time messrs Fawkes and Hislop spend denigrating each other, the less time they spend on what they’re meant to be doing.
    So stop acting like children arguing over who’s got the best bike, and get on with it! (Pause to allow massive applause from the audience – adjusts features to look serious but marginally pleased with self for benefit of the cameras).

  222. 222

    Driving up the M62 on Sunday between Lancashire and Yorkshire it now resembles a fucking farm track littered with potholes and in the inside two visible trenches for your wheels to run in caused by HGV wheels
    just a few years ago you never saw a pothole on a motorway as they were always on top of it , now the roads are being left to fall apart
    on the normal roads all the line markings are disappearing making thing even more dangerous

  223. 223
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Guido has sun stroke.

  224. 224
    Colonel Bloodnok says:

    Osborne faces failure on the deficit after 4G auction falls £1.16bn short http://bit.ly/ZqLuU

  225. 225
    The man at the back with the awful jumper - yes you sir says:

    ‘Customers were warned they face a sharp rise in their bills’ – and this is news??? Must be a slow day at the Telerag – hasn’t anyone famous murdered someone or anything like that? Failing all else, can’t they find pictures of some schoolgirls who have passed some exams? That’s usually the Telerag’s default story.

  226. 226
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Many years ago chaussee deformee signs were all over France. Maybe we should adopt these signs over here.

  227. 227
    Uri Nate says:

    The British Blogger awards are TONIGHT! Will Owen Jones diss Mark Ferguson? Will Guido Fawkes top his Grammy winning blogging performance? Most importantly will you be watching?

  228. 228
    Westminster Gossip says:

    Hislop the squirt…

    Come on Guido leave the squirt alone, he will run crying to his mammy. Hislop like all little people are plagued by a massive chip on their shoulders. Guido,you don’t need squirts you need giants to make the political blog fresh and alive.

    What is the point of Private Eye in today’s wall-to-wall, 24 hour media world?

  229. 229
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    So what, its 1000 billion we need. A piddling 1 billion makes no difference.
    While you are stirring it up ask labour why they left us with a debt of 800 billion when boom and bust had been eradicated.

  230. 230
    Ian Hislop says:


  231. 231
    Oh sorry - it's not a man; it's Carina Trimingham says:

    Good point. Remember, Guido, the PE is only published once a fortnight so is inevitably going to be, in part anyway, historic news.
    So stop bitching the pair of you and get on with what you both do best – skewering those who deserve it.

  232. 232
    The Fifty Seventh Earl of Perineum says:

    An excellent point, Mr Newly Parenthesised, except as to add to the £800bn and rising as it was bound to do whoever won the election. Indeed add on the off-balance sheet stuff and it was well over £1tn.

  233. 233
    Liam Byrne says:

    There’s no money left.

  234. 234
    The Fifty Seventh Earl of Perineum says:

    Have you had the dubious pleasure of seeing under her jockstrap?

  235. 235
    Nanny says:

    I read and enjoy both and think you should stop being silly.

  236. 236
    One Term Dave says:

    My policy on immigration is to talk tough,bluster and bollox but actually do nothing. How clever is that?

  237. 237
    Owen's mum says:

    Owen! I’ve told you before. If you’re going to get your underpants as stiff as this wash them yourself my lad.

  238. 238
    Yeo Ho Ho says:

    We need more green energy. Lubbly jubbly!

  239. 239
    Curly says:

    No good – they will only give themselves unending pay rises…

  240. 240
    JH4568564563523 says:

    I would find it irritating if someone started Bugling in my bathroom. Shooting them four times is still excessive.

  241. 241
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    The brackets help deflect socialist drivel.

  242. 242
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Poo, dr i vel got me again.

  243. 243
    Curly says:

    Archy, it’s not the wrath it’s the CURSE that Gweeds needs to beware of. It has worked faultlessly for over 40 years, so has had lots of practice….

  244. 244
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    What would you do?

  245. 245
    Neddy Seagoon says:

    4G ? A drop in the ocean.

  246. 246
    Curly says:

    Indeed. This is worse than the proverbial scorned female.

  247. 247
    Curly says:

    1. zero
    2. no

    next question…

  248. 248
    JH4568564563523 says:

    Actually Liam, road tax and fuel duty pay for the maintenance of the roads at least three times over.

    But lets not spend it on that, oh no. Let’s piss it up the wall on State expansion to keep the lefties happy.

  249. 249
    Curly the barrow boy says:

    Sick buckets going cheap, sick buckets going cheap, roll up roll up…

  250. 250
    Curly the fisherman says:

    Yes, something VERY fishy about that …

  251. 251
    Curly the newspaper vendor on the corner says:

    Get your up-to-date-news here…

  252. 252
    The man at the back with the awful jumper - yes you sir says:

    Hi Eric – I didn’t realise anyone else here was a fan of the Bonzos! Well done for your excellent taste!

  253. 253
    Curly the cluesetter says:

    .. and a completely unsolvable crossword

  254. 254
    Extremely ancient seafarer says:

    Plagiarised from that old schoolboy one-liner: I took my Harpic to a party and everyone said I was clean round the bend.

  255. 255
    Alice says:

    So, your starter for 10, guess where I live

  256. 256
    Alice says:

    Mongrels? Isle of Dogs?

  257. 257
    MYOB says:


  258. 258
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    He’s the original hot air merchant.

  259. 259
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    In all the reports I have heard/read there has been no mention of a husband. Is there one?

  260. 260
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    Still waiting for O’Barmy to jump on this to illustrate his ban-firearms tiff with the NRA.

  261. 261
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    The first sensible thing he has done in the past 3 years.

  262. 262
    Curly says:

    We can tell you are a Scouser as you don’t seem to know the difference twixt you’re and your. Is your football shirt red or blue?

  263. 263
    Curly the lyricist says:

    But you still don’t hear a word they’re saying…

  264. 264
    Curly says:

    Despite his family connections, Peston is merely ‘common’ (and thick and devious, but we won’t go into that).

  265. 265
    What it says on la tin says:

    I think vice versa is something to do with writing naughty poems.

  266. 266
    Monsieur Curly, linguist par excellence a votre service says:

    But we Brits resolutely refuse to either learn or speak any other language – so they might just as well be in Welsh really…

  267. 267
    Al Jolson's mum says:

    Some mothers will walk a millions miles to see their ma-a amy.

  268. 268
    Well, you did ask says:

    Stop wasting all those millions on the so called Border Agency who seem to be, in the current idiom, not fit for purpose, for a start.

  269. 269
    Anonymous says:

    Hislop on HIGNFY is toe curlingly dreadful. Along with the rest of the people on the show virtually 100% lefty hunts.

  270. 270
    Guidders says:


    “Staines on his reputation

    Though few noticed at the time, the inner workings of Gove’s clique were revealed when Cook complained to Tory officials. Paul Staines, aka blustering blogger Guido Fawkes, rushed to defend Cummings and de Zoete. “As far as Guido can tell there is no evidence that Gove’s Spads have made any personal attacks,” he huffed.

    Last Saturday, as Observer political editor Toby Helm prepared to reveal that Gove’s Spads were indeed behind personal attacks, Staines popped up again with a pre-emptive rubbishing of the investigation. “Guido understands,” he sneered, “that Helm reckons it could bring down Michael Gove.” Helm reckoned nothing of the sort: Gove’s aides, with Staines’s help, were merely engaged in the spin-doctor’s classic ruse of raising false expectations that can’t be met.”


  271. 271
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Several men Ibthink.

  272. 272
    Yes! Yes! Yes to Plain Packs says:

    What do Private Eye (cover price: £1.50) and order-order.com (free of charge) have in common?

    They’re both worth every penny.

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