February 15th, 2013

Ed in Eastleigh Tomorrow

Guido understands the Labour leader will be journeying south to help out his joke candidate John O’Farrell tomorrow.

And this time he’s armed with an actual policy…


71 Comments

  1. 1
    I rest my case m'lud says:

    Errrrggghhhhh!!!!

    Like

    • 3
      Ed Ballski says:

      Is that the sound of Ed Miliband squeezing out a policy?

      Like

      • 11
        The Far Right says:

        No. That is some draft legislation relating to the issue of consummation of gay marriage.

        Like

      • 15
        Anonymous says:

        Can Cameron be sure that he didn’t eat the horse that was lent to him by Brooks?

        Like

        • 35
          T'Old Fella says:

          “And this time he’s armed with an actual policy…”I do hope that Ted has the appropriate licence for such a weapon

          Like

      • 26
        RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

        Will anyone recognise me outside the Westminster Bubble ?

        Like

      • 30
        Eddie Boys Bandwagon Tour briefing for party activists only says:

        its been a close shave but we managed to cobble together that splurge of rehashed nonsense just in time for eastleigh – as least they got a new set of jokes to spoof the electorate with…well done everyone good effort

        Like

    • 7
      Fratricidal Politics says:

      Its the sound the knife made going in between David’s shoulder blades

      Like

      • 50
        constituency trainbound says:

        I think you’ll find thats the noise of the surgeons removing any final traces of Nick Clegg’s backbone

        Like

    • 68
      Len of unite says:

      Trust , my lap dog will not be making any new policy announcement until I’ve told him what they are .
      Until then you’ll get the usual stereo type , sound bite . That the brothers dribble over

      Like

    • 70
  2. 2
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    John O’Farrell: “Hello David”

    Like

    • 43
      T'Old Fella says:

      John O’Farrell: say Dave we are thinking of starting Spitting Image, we will give you the puppet in return for a suitable donation to charity, it’s a rough life in politics isn’t it

      Like

  3. 4
  4. 5
    The Public says:

    Is he bringing in a Brother Tax?

    Like

  5. 6
    PDPGB says:

    Talk about flogging a dead horse – neigh, neigh, and thrice neigh

    Like

  6. 8
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    You mean he’s leaving the Islington chatterati and not heading into Labour heartlands?
    How will he cope?

    Like

  7. 9
    And what else is the left up to tomorrow ? says:

    Like

    • 32
      Jimmy Savile says:

      One of my old wheezes, talking to wannabe-journo kids; after all, they’re coming to YOU, not t’other way ’round– you’re learning, Jonesy lad!

      Like

      • 39
        SP4BS says:

        ho ho very funny topic.

        But note it was that trick that got Strauss-Kahn in the shit, and guilty in the court of public opinion.

        Like

  8. 10
    PC Savage says:

    I wonder how Ed would answer if someone were to ask him why his candidate recommends the state pimping Pippa Middelton as a high class whore?

    Just asking.

    Like

  9. 12
    Andy Burnham says:

    Can I help ?

    Like

    • 25
      A Spad says:

      You stick with Leigh Andy. They don’t want you rough northern chappies up East.

      Like

    • 56
      the savant10.4 highway patrol says:

      No you’ve got enough to do !

      Haven’t they made you Director of a new BBC sinecure ?

      Or is that your Tea Room soulmate Purnell ??

      Like

  10. 14

    Lets hope the residents of Eastleigh don’t pass up the opportunity for a good egging.

    Like

  11. 16
    Ed Miliband says:

    Why is everyone being Eastleigh to me?

    Like

  12. 17
    albacore says:

    What type of policy, insurance, perchance?
    With his best clown suit on, if he does a dance
    And chances to trip up on those great, long shoes
    He can’t risk the N H S cooking his goose

    Like

    • 46
      T'Old Fella says:

      He can’t risk the N H S cooking his goose. What, with a Hunt incharge of the NHS, he would insist on turkey supplied from a private cooked and ready to heat and serve, they don’t do cooking now

      Like

  13. 18
    Anonymous says:

    The Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority said today it is to investigate expenses claims submitted by Mid-Bedfordshire MP Nadine Dorries. More details soon …

    Like

  14. 19
    Ed Megashambles says:

    I say WUNASHUN. How do you like my no policy policy?

    Like

  15. 23
    BBC politics is controlled by Labour says:

    Not an actual policy, a fag packet uncosted sick joke policy. Even balls was embarrassed. Nobody asked him how much the poor will actually benefit, least of all his union baron masters. Answer, next to zero. Ed preaches class war politics far sicker than anyone in politics for decades under the guise of one nation. Now it really does seem to have gone to his head, he thinks he is the real thing and will be the next PM. Its just getting worse. There is a chink of light though, someone on the BBC made a joke about him recently. Of course they lost their job and are being rehabilitated in Mid Staffs hospital but it is a start.

    Like

    • 36
      SP4BS says:

      “even balls ….”

      Wouldn’t it be part of a coherent plan for EdB to be easing EdM out by now?

      Like

      • 59
        the savant10.4 highway patrol says:

        I think you’ll find when the time is right there will be no question of “easing “. .

        Binkie will just gird his massive 20 stone loins , lift him up and defenestrate him …. rather in the manner of the Infant of Prague

        Like

    • 42
      Dr Records says:

      I’m afraid we have no record of such a patient, sir.

      Like

  16. 27
    Curly says:

    First Huhne and now Millipede. The voters of Eastleigh should bring a harassment and cruelty to people case.

    Like

  17. 28
    Anonymous says:

    is he bringing tom “fatty” watson – i only ask so tescos can order some more donuts

    Like

  18. 31
    Anonymous says:

    he sheep in Eastleigh will of course vote for the liblabcon parties, who advocate a United States of Europe, but spend their time of course telling you and persuading you that they don’t, and that at some time far into the future, you will of course get a referendum!

    When you put your cross against their names very soon, you will have absolutely no right to moan when they sign you up to the next all embracing union treaty,taking away even more of each own countries sovereign powers.

    You have been warned many times now, so I guess you do really want a United States of Europe yourselves then?

    Like

  19. 33
    EU Funded Pro EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP.

    Like

  20. 38
    Hand the Cat says:

    Heard on the radio this morning that there were traffic jams at a “Krispy Kreme Donuts” branch yesterday up in Scotland as they were giving away free Donuts.
    Mean While down in England the Donuts were fighting to get into see ED MIlli Jnr

    Like

  21. 41
    David Minibanana says:

    Like

  22. 54
    Sunday Times says:

    Ed Milliband was carried shoulder high through the streets of Eastleigh yesterday by a large crowd of Hampshire second home owners.

    One of the crowd Hugh Parminter-Jessop, 45, a Partner in a firm of City Accountants said:

    ‘This is the perfect policy for the people of Eastleigh. A little old lady with a basic pension living in a big house passed down through generations will have to find £25,000 a year in taxes so a lot of people can have an extra 67 pence in their pockets every week. That’s a Mars Bar AND 2p extra. That Ed Milliband is a genius. And so brave to renege on a policy decision he made a few years ago’.

    Ed Balls was unavailable for comment. Mercifully.

    Like

  23. 57
    RetardEd says:

    Wonder if it would go down well if I appeared in one of my Trekkie outfits.

    Like

  24. 63
    Old Grumpy says:

    Judging the turnout at the last general election, Millibland would have been well advised to have refrained from submitting a candidate.

    He/she/it will fail and in the process will probably hoover up dissident LibDim votes………..

    While UKIP might be a bloody nuisance to the Tories, that will be well offset.

    Like

  25. 64
    the savant10.4 highway patrol says:

    Ed in Eastleigh Tomorrow

    World Stock markets dive .

    Like

  26. 65
    Newsinternationalwillkillthetories says:

    Goodness me that nasty Ed millband has managed to upset you tories hasn’t he.

    Like

  27. 66
  28. 71
    jsydz says:

    Isn’t it time that British voters woke up to the fact that Miliband and Cameron don’t care about them? They just want their votes and then they will forget everything they promised and return to their own self interest. See Eastleigh Byelection.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

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Westminster Truce Shatters | Times
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Tories Say Don’t Bribe the Scots | Times
Dave Can’t Stay if Scots Go | Laura Perrins
BBC Crew Attacked in Russia | BBC


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The Prime Minister feels the pressure:

“I have to say that after the events I have been facing over the last few days, assassination would be a welcome release.”



It was only a tiny tiny collision.


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