February 13th, 2013

PMQs Proves Dave and Ed Never Miss Guido

This week’s PMQs was enjoyed greatly in the Guy Newsroom, with both the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition referencing our stories. Ed revealed himself as an avid reader of Guido’s new Sun column, bashing the PM for auctioning a portrait of himself for £100,000 at a Tory fundraiser. Here is how Guido revealed it on Sunday:

“When Cameron gave his tough European referendum speech Tory HQ treasurers were delighted to see a flood of donations come into the coffers. The tough EU stance goes down well with true blue donors, this week one of them bid £100,000 at a fundraiser for a portrait of the PM.”

Then Dave hit back by mocking Ed’s “major speech” tomorrow, noting that it will contain no new policy announcements. Yesterday Guido was leaked Labour foghorn Christine Quigley’s email admitting that “It won’t have any new policies in it”, despite being dutifully trailed by the Staggers as one to watch. It all got too much for one Page 3-lover, as the green-eyed monster struck:

The Guidoisation of politics continues…

UPDATE: An actual attribution from Nick Robinson. Truly a red letter day:

Vid via @liarpoliticians


  1. 1
    Martine McCutcheon says:

    Lend us a tenner, guv.


    • 24
      Ross Kemp says:

      Mind if I do a “riches-to-rags” documentary on you, luv?


    • 69
      Rage Against the Political Elite says:

      When the State Lurches from One Devastating headline to another to deflect the reality of a failed economic system.. Say goodbye to your pension.


      • 82
        Granny Green says:

        Pensions are a total waste of time and cash.

        A cash pot with a milking tap at the bottom and a nice wide opening at the top for Governments and Pension Providers to dip into and loot at will…

        Go abroad and blow your cash on yourself while you can before these crooks steal it from you.

        Be like your typical MP live off the state and forget tomorrow for tomorrow is another day


    • 91
      Err says:

      Miss Guido?
      Sex change?


  2. 2
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    The Guidoisation of politics has been well advanced ever since his paymaster Murdoch bought both the big parties.


    • 12
      being there says:

      Start your own blog creepy threepy


    • 14
      hold them to ac says:

      More of a free agent than most at MSM, this shows the voice of the people may well be in these blogs. That bodes well for UKIP and those whose dislike spin, spin, spin.


      • 29
        Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

        Ah. This is the UKIP which claims to be clean and representative of the people when 30% of its entire MEP cadre have been done for fraud?


        • 62
          yeah, right... says:

          All this tells us is that the remaining 70% have yet to be caught, for fraudsters they most certainly are.


          • Nigel's SpAd to be, I expect says:

            Fraud however is an imprisonable offence here. If you mean expenses which were overclaimed as not reimburseable under the 100 page guidance then you have have a point I guess. Just goes to show you can never have too many layers of bureaucracy…. VOTE… well, actually I don’t mind, just so long as you don’t vote for a lying toad.


    • 16
      the jimmy savile tribute show! says:

      The BBC is totally impartial, guaranteed by Royal Charter!


      • 53
        The BBC, Common Purpose & the EU says:

        We agree!!


        • 80
          Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill says:

          We rather like the D-G and his trustees that appoint him. We find him quite refreshingly Liberal to use a rather knocked term. St Vince for PM! And more documentaries on the poor and the rich and the class divide. It’s so entertaining!


          • Not the BBC News at 10 says:

            “Bringing you news of the latest line of cuts at the hands of Chr. George Osborne, in what Labour are calling the Bedroom Tax. Over to you Laura! The Bedroom Tax is set to take a way rooms in which may look unused but….. In the latest seemingly divisive move that affects some of the poorest people like this man in Devon… ” Forget the get-out clauses in the small print. Forget the fact it’s everyone else’s money.


    • 75
      Anonymous says:

      Further proof that, if any were needed, that Guido’s Dave’s bitch.


      • 85
        Hon Lady Cordelia Fortescue-Smythe in Chipping Norton says:

        Hardly given that his rather negative expose on the EU equal marriage recognition (not weddings themselves) regulation which attracted no fewer than 50 separate comments about UKIP being the answer to all known evils.


  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    £100,000 for a portrait of Call Me Dave?

    Some people really do have more money than sense… good god.


    • 6
      Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

      I would be tempted to part with serious money – for that picture of the Bullingdon in suspenders with line of white powder on the table.


    • 33
      genghiz the kahn says:

      Seems overpriced for a dartboard.


    • 70
      Sir William Wade says:

      So that’s why Dave never looks a day older……whereas the picture will gradually transform itself into Cardinal Blair!!


  4. 4
    The International Court of the Vague says:

    Any news about when Andy Burnham will be arrested for crimes against humanity?


    • 9
      Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

      Whilst I understand the wish, persecuting Baldrick Burnham does seem a bit like going after Katy Price’ son.


      • 25
        I don't go left or right, or backward says:

        I think the witchhunt in Stafford should be identifying those going after those lovely targets set by finance fixated managers. Clearly there’s a Sir Humphrey who should have been given the chop back then. Poor ministers, can’t seem to be able to do that lately either.


    • 43
      Fishy says:

      That’s a really good question.

      Labour’s latest forghorn, Mary Creagh, set the benchmark by which Ministerial culpability ought to be measured, in the Horse Meat debate, when she held that the Environment Minister is personally responsible for the content of our food and for leadership of the industry.

      Using Labour’s benchmark of Ministerial responsibility (and given that the Dr Foster organisation yesterday revealed that they had written to Burnham to alert him to worrying mortality rates in our hospitals), it’s only fair to ask when Burnham is going to get a knock on the door from the police.


      • 64
        yeah, right... says:

        Has anyone else noticed that her name, if said in the right tone, sounds exactly like the noise a horse makes? Vested interest?


        • 97
          Fishy says:

          Possible, but I think it’s onomatopoeic. There’s a few of wimin in the Labour ranks now, who all speak with the same whiney nasal whingey voice….Rachel Reeves, Mrs Balls, Ed Muddleband, to name just three.

          I do have to say though, watching Creagh, she does seem to be a particularly nasty piece of work


      • 65
        Anonymous says:

        Burnham? Burnham??. Name seems to ring a bell!
        Don’t seem to have seen much of him recently;anyone know why, or what’s happened to him?


  5. 5
    Brent Fraser says:

    Maybe Guido’s sources also leak details to party press officers as well?


  6. 7
    Steve Miliband says:

    Phone hacking – how many died?
    Mid Staffs – ?


  7. 8
    Casual Observer says:

    And right now Harman is arguing for full implementation of Leveson via direct statute, rather than statute by Royal Charter.

    The Royal Charter overseeing the regulators seems to be more a super regulator. The regulator for OFCOM which is a regulator is fishy.

    How does this tally up with the old licensing of the press act ?


    • 38
      genghiz the kahn says:

      It will work as well as FSA for the financial services, the FSA for Food Standards, the Quality Care Commission for the NHS, the regulators for MP’s expense claims and the Electoral Commission for Postal Votes.


    • 59
      Technomist says:

      I am not entirely clear what Ofcom does. They have found a number of people to have used the media to commit acts of incitement to violence, including a person called Abdul Qadir Jilani. This was recently reported by the telegraph.

      What the telegraph have missed is that this is someone who David Miliband was happy to ‘share a platform’ with when seeking the leadership of the Labour Party.

      Interestingly, since the Ofcom ruling, Mr Jilani has not subsequently been distanced by the Labour Party or condemned for his remarks by anyone of the seniority of Mr Miliband (or any of the lesser characters in the Labour Party who have preiously tried to associate themselves with this gentleman in the past). That is their decision, of course, albeit a failing which seems to me to be politics.

      Anyway, Ofcom, which is a public body of some kind, found evidence of incitement, but no criminal charges have been brought against Mr Jilani. You would think that our government was more joined up than this.


      • 68
        Man on the Clapham omnibus says:

        Now that’s the sort of news I never hear from the BBC. I wonder why?


        • 88
          Technomist says:

          Its all out there in plain sight, but you have to know what you are looking at.

          I wrote a post on my blog about one aspect of this story last night. The implications regarding the various lower level Labour people (mainly local councillors and the odd activist) is actually even more interesting some ways, but I think the minutiae of that would probably bore most people on here.


      • 89
        The tit in no. 10 says:

        Of course the government is joined up – we’re all in it together.


  8. 10
    Paris Hilton says:

    Maria Miller sounds like the name a porn actress would pick.


  9. 11
    Anonymous says:

    £100,000 for a portrait of Cameron= the most expensive toilet paper in the world


    • 19
      T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

      I think £ 100,000 is a mere bagatelle; a 45 minute ( ooops, didn’t mean to say 45 minutes ) speech costs more these days.

      Anyway, the portrait will look nice in any one of my ten houses.


  10. 17
    Casual Observer says:

    Jack Straw should be put on a care pathway.


    • 21
      Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

      Rubbish. Having to visit Blackburn (even if only rarely) is punishment enough for anyone.


      • 54
        Blackburn Cathedral, Retail and Restaurants Association) says:

        Try not to sound like a southern elitist, there are far worst places such as Eastleigh… It is apparently a hippy and beardie paradise…


        • 56
          EU Funded Pro EU Troll says:

          Vote UKIP.


        • 61
          Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

          I have visited Blackburn (and lived in Lancashire). By any objective criteria it is a shithole. Lancs has nice places like Lancaster – but Blackburn is not one.


          • STuN says:

            If the pennines are the back bone of England, then Blackburn is without doubt it’s arsehole! Jack Straw is a very suitable MP.


          • Anonymous says:

            There’s a reason why Blackburn is a shithole but if I was to point it out I’d be called a racist.


  11. 18
    Millibands Dads KGB Handler says:

    Will Bryant put up his stained jockeys for auction? lets face it they are really famous


    • 26
      Owen Jones says:

      I’ll buy them if I can pay in weekly instalments.


      • 40
        Owen Jones' Mum says:

        Have you paid me your bedroom tax young man ? Mummy is getting cross and she may have to dock your pocket money.


        • 55
          Owen Jones' Dad says:

          After all it was the Labour party that thronged the airwaves with “tax doesn’t have to be taxing”. No not at all in the case of Stafford and many of the care homes allowed to operate under that money-making only regime. You get what you deserve in the bedroom department, Jones.


      • 77
        Anonymous says:

        You’ll have to make a deposit on them first.


    • 86
      Owen's boyfriend says:

      The only underpants Owen is allowed to touch are mine.


  12. 22
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Well done Guido, Neo.

    Perhaps Rupe should make you editor.


  13. 23
    Got a new Crayon says:

    What will be “astonishing” is when the PM starts reading stories out from the Huffington Post


  14. 27
    nothing to offer says:

    Why does Daily Politics have female politicians on?
    The responses from the two dimwits on there today were an insult to the intelligence.


    • 32
      RetardEd says:

      They didn’t insult my intelligence.


      • 58
        Balls says:

        I didn’t quite get what they saying. There was no mention of the words Tory, Elitist and Millionaires. Obviously they haven’t got a clue about the problems in our economy.


  15. 28
    Pryce Watch says:

    Summing up continuing, likely breaking for lunch soon.

    ‘The phrase “fait accompli” is used once again to describe how it came to be that Pryce had been nominated to accept speeding points.’

    fait acompli: Often said of something irreversible or performed without going through standard procedure.

    Badgering and rhetoric Huhne may have used has been gone through.

    From what is available in the public domain on Huhne’s standard of rhetoric one wonders if Pryce was perhaps ‘bored’ into submission ?


    • 37
      Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

      The real truth is yet to come out. Pryce was resisting until he threatened to introduce her to Gordon Brown and Bob Neill. Those childhood flashbacks are a bugger…..


      • 72
        I hope you are afraid of the long arm of the law says:

        Being a strict liability offence (you don’t have to know it’s illegal), pretending to be driving a vehicle you were not in means you filling in a form dishonestly. As someone who at the time had little trust in him she could easily have reported him to the police and his licence suspended for having broken road traffic laws. Instead she alleges “marital coercion” when their divorce was practically a done deal anyway. By the way if anyone else alleges you lie to the police then you’ll get the book thrown at you.


    • 73
      Chris H says:

      Take the rap, bitch, or the hamster gets it!


  16. 34
    Riggsy Brown says:

    Respect, Paul.


  17. 36
    The BBC is being sued says:

    Ha ha!

    The estate of Jimmy Savile and the BBC are being sued by alleged sex abuse victims of the late DJ and presenter. Solicitor Alan Collins, of law firm Pannone, said a writ had been issued at the High Court on behalf of 31 alleged victims. All claimants were taking action against Savile’s estate, while up to eight were also suing the BBC, he said.


    • 45
      Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

      The interesting thing is that if this case establishes liability on the part of the BBC it is very likely that an attempt will be made to extend cases to those media organisations which knew the truth many years ago and failed to act. Those (like News International) who are alleged to have obstructed previous investigations must be even more vulnerable.


      • 90
        Anonymous says:

        bbc was number one around the globe.
        will it be fox next?
        on planet earth.
        . at the astral level M has the english sun and the all encompassing sky.
        in the new world ordered by design.
        does a 3 letter org exist.
        ……….(generously endowed carol….that will be a e and then another e….plse)
        to reside the all knowing space that touches both the earth and the sun.


    • 51
      Casual Observer says:

      It is about time, and good luck to them.

      There is an issue with limitation timing which needs attention:


      It should also help highlight that in this and other recent cases such as that being investigated by Operation Fernbridge that there have been irregularities with respect to archiving of social service files among other things.

      The majority of victims were likely not motivated by financial gain in coming forward. They would have run into some of these liability issues particularly in vicarious cases against institutions, which would have been deeply irritating.

      That incidentally was one of the betrayals by justice which Watson opened after asking his question in the house last year.


  18. 39
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    It could have been so much worse. I imagine if Cameron read a story from Mehdi Hasan.
    Hasan is a loud mouthed look at me nobody. What have you ever done in life Hasan, apart from gob off.


  19. 41
    Viv says:

    If ‘Call-me-Dave and little Ed really do peruse Guido, perhaps some of the contributors might consider making serious political points rather than scatological comments!


  20. 42
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Even Andrew Neil is scared to mention Labour and Stafford Hospital in the same sentence. What’s the reason.


  21. 44
    Shooty* says:

    I think Mehdi is, as the young people say, “giving you props”, Guido.

    that’s apparently a good thing.


  22. 49
    Anonymous says:


  23. 50
    Owin Jones says:

    You’re brainwashed by the capitalist pigs to love the capitalist pigs when it is the capitalist pigs that rob you silly.


    • 71
      (I don't need no doctor) says:

      Ah but you are not doing bad from the capitalist world you live in. Do you give all of your earnings to charity, or do you spend it on capitalists things?


  24. 52
    Owen Jones,Website Maintenance says:

    If the site is looking a bit pissed, then it probably is. Best thing to do is if you are using a custom theme is to change it to the default and press CTRL+SHIFT+R or CTRL+F5 to refresh your page. If that doesn’t work try resetting your browsers cache.


  25. 57
  26. 67

    Reading from GF for PMQs.

    Maybe the pair will start reading out the comments next.

    Hansard – 27/12/2013

    leader of opposition : “Mister speaker..Does the prime minister agree with Moussa Meerkat-anonnymous, that the prime minister is a top hole, toffy, Tory fop? Or should that be flop?” {Labour cheers}

    Prime Minister: “I do not agree. And further..and…and… and… I read today that the Labour leader is considered less attractive than a pair of the shadow Home Affairs Minister’s, The Rt Hon, Christopher Bryant, Rhondda Valley, UNDERPANTS! “”{ roars of approval from all parties}

    Speaker Bercow “Order…order..in the House!”

    PM: “You can zip it up, mini-me. According to Sandra, in an as yet undisclosed firm of chartered accountants, you have ‘the expression of a small man confronted with by a large urinal.'” {Here Here chorus from coalition benches}

    “..Yes..and his wife’s a slag ! “ {house cheers, order papers waved..etc}


  27. 84
    Ha ha says:

    Best story of the year so far:

    Two people died after the stolen Audi they were driving smashed into eight parked cars, triggering a huge explosion.


  28. 87
    Nick Robinson says:

    “I am the Emergency Political Commentary Hologram– please state the issue…”


  29. 92
    Fox on a moonlit night says:

    Babies, babies, babies.

    What am I supposed to eat?

    They lock the chickens safely away at night.


  30. 96
    The savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    Very well done. Guido.

    Today. Whitehall . Tomorrow world domination .

    By. ‘Eck lad …. even your servers ( I see from City. A. M today) are iin. Californi—aaaay.


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