This invitation was sent last night from the Whips office to all Tory staffers:
You are cordially invited to attend the
Conservative Parliamentary Staff New Year Party
Thursday 14th February 2013
6pm – midnight
It seems they don’t have much faith in young Tories having dates tomorrow night then.
How Mervyn King Lost Bank Battle War | WSJ
BBC Corporation Tax Horror Story | IEA
Sally Bercow Judgement in Full | Mr Justice Tugendhat
Commies Blame Capitalism For Terror Attack | The Commentator
Lord Black v Press Regulation | Guardian
Osborne’s Complacency | FT
DWP’s Welfare Failings | Isabel Hardman
Get Used to Coalitions | David Aaronovitch
Woolwich a Showcase in the Banality of Evil | Fraser Nelson
The Enemy Within | Max Hastings
Muslim Led Military-Style Free School Needed | Toby Young
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Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious…
“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
Can I come with Carina ?
Don’t you dare come before I’ve given you permission.
They could date each other.
You’ll come once I’ve finished and not before.
Looking forward to penetrating your intimate circle.
It’s making my eyes water just thinking about it
They really are pathetic aren’t they? They cannot even get the New Years party in on time (and no doubt budget).
that’s all folks
We celebrated Valentines day on the 1st Jan
It will be a time for a good pep-talk on the current Tory thinking because of all the U-turns, The Grand Poobah Dave, the Dear Leader wants them to be on message ( well at least for the next fortnight). New Year’ day has long since past so it must be a little pep talk with drinkies and other things afterwards. Have you wangled yourself a ticket for the junket Geedo, boring speeches but think of those free drinkies afterwards.
Sorry Tarquin, can’t do tomorrow, somethings turned up. LOL (my way)
Geedo what have you been up to in Roma saw this little clip http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2013/feb/12/lightning-vatican-peter-basilica-video
Looks as if they are playing pyramids…
The Pharaoh Dave is having his pyramid built and all the jobless will recruited to build the pyramid in Regents Park, there will be no excuses allowed for not doing any work, all will be paid for at JSA tents will be provided for which rental thereof must be paid and will be deducted from the JSA.
All the Cabinet are to be entombed alive inside it with Dave’s mummy.
Is this encouraging incest? We don’t want them breeding with normal people.
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
third way…..in the world of the soul and the god, what purpose do we have in life.
is that at the top.
spiral up or spiral down. the triangle remains unmissable. The pyramid has many sides and each being a triangle. The all knowing person is just below the top…a number 2. but what is the purpose of being the one when the life purpose does not come from a world free of desires of the senses.
is the ultimate to live in the house of the source or be a pretend one.
envy and jealousy is all very well in craving for being special … oh .. father …of the divine couple … but who created you?
love and warmth.
ps..even a scorpio will be question this one day….so god bless.
“Who created you?” A question I have often pondered since…
there was Adam and Eve
then there was Cain and Abel
… so WTF did you come from??
I reckon Poundland
I dunno – are you thinking?
Now it’s funny that you should think that.
That’s enough fucking philosophers.
Didn’t a lot of the front benches do philosophy? Now they are a bunch of fuc…………………
@The Editor
Immanuel Kant died in his 80s, still a virgin.
So there!
Returned unopened..
We have not been asleep on the job. Just snoozing.
Yet another lot of public sector shirkers doing fuck all for high salaries and gold plated pensions.
TBF parliamentary staff don’t get final salary pensions like their MP bosses. They have to settle for a simple money purchase scheme.
Is the FSA the same as the FSA? The FSA deal with Lloyds and the FSA deals with our horseburgers
FSA are now saying they did not raid this farm in the netherlands of Todmorden “without good reason” .
Well if they had no reason whatsoever I am sure we would all have expected them to move in mob handed .
What a complete load of PR self justification crap.
Let us hope there is no PR Consultancy firm with fancy bills on the payroll
They do not act on plebeian food, only on toff food it was always so and always will be, maybe they should be forced to eat said “beef”burgers or stufff it down the throats of their kids, not very nice is it. Who blew the whistle on this horsemeat thing anyway, it must have been going on for years and nothing was done about it, with food like anything else, if it is cheap compared with something that is of good quality there is a reason for it. I wonder why the cat has been sick with cat food that was 50% cheaper than normal.
1. Pakistan
2. Somalia
3. United Kingdom
Can you change 3 to Britain please?
Could we make cleat that 3. is just England and that the rest of us would do alright if the English would leave us alone?
FAILED STATE. There are probably more P*k*st*nis in Luton than Lahore and more s*malis in Bournemouth than M*gadishu.
Baroness Hanham, parliamentary under secretary of state for communities and minister responsible for the European Regional Development Fund, opened the £2.7m development in Wigan, Greater Manchester, describing it as “exciting and innovative”.
http://www.eaem.co.uk/news/uk%E2%80%99s-first-zero-energy-cost-business-park-opens
So how is £2.7m cost a no bill situation Chuka?
Subsidies grow on tress in Labour La La Land.
Where did we put Gordon’s money tree?
What do they have, slaves operating rotary treadmills?
Seems only right for Chukka a Money at it.
Now where is the calendar instruction manual Gregory?
They’re sooooo yesterday.
There will never be another Conservative majority government. What is the point? They are just a weak version of the LibLab incompetent thieves
They can’t even aspire to be mediocre at the moment.
How on earth can you get any weaker than the Limp Dims?
Please try a more mature comment.
The conservatives cannot be trusted.
CaMoron cast iron Dave is a liar, he is a spineless socialist loving traitor who has given this country away to the EU and immigrants.
He has betrayed us.
Never, ever, again.
Is Guido trending? It seems that since Guido has been writing for the Sun, he is attacking the tories more.
He does what we tell him to do. We bought him.
What makes you think that the Editors have any say in it?
.. and just exactly where did they steal that apostrophe from?
Another day, and still no tw ink on Page 3.
Wouldn’t know. We don’t buy it up in our neck of the woods.
Labour lead at 11 – Latest YouGov / The Sun results 12th February – CON 32%, LAB 43%, LD 10%, UKIP 9%, Greens 2%; http://y-g.co/V4hs7x
Taxi for Prime Minister David Cameron please.
I’ll lend a hand to drag him,kicking and screaming, out of the Bunker.
Will YouGov ever do a meaningful poll, like for example outside Bethnal Green or Hackney?
They don’t even know the way out of Islington and Notting Hill!
They even missed out on Chinese New Year – the year of the Snake.
Which year is it? Last year’s party or this year’s?
Did Theresa May organise the new years bash for Feb?
Di. If a Big drink contains 500 calories will you stop me buying two half size drinks?
There was a story in my paper today about a woman in America who died from drinking 11 litres of Coke a day for the past god knows how many years. No, her name was not Diane.
Abbott is in denial. Abbott you are a porker of the first order. Look in the mirror.
She has a point. The majority of Labour voters do not have the self-control to resist ingesting too much bad stuff. Others are prepared to be responsible and self-aware.
Have all Labour voters marked prominently and permanently on the forehead with a star. They will not be allowed to buy certain stuff. The rest will by definition be OK types and therefore need face no such petty regulations issued by the Reich.
There is an easier solution. Just ensure the ‘soshul debit card’ cant be used to buy sugary drinks as well as Booze, fags, Sky subscriptions, broadband, etc etc etc
Was unaware that the albatross gent in the cinema accepted credit card.
1 can of coconut milk = 550 calories
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080220033052AAUz2lK
They should ban giant sized arses like yours
no freedom….on the contrar….ie.
.
to move up the supply chain the creative gods could go austere…the monastic existence….to experience a height detached from mother earth.
.
at the next level….The men of austerity on mother earth could be accepting. for they already know in their heart the heights.
.
how else can they see the depths of reality….for the man who can see both the depths and the height is grounded and happy. Once we have seen the darkness at the core of mother earth and known also …the heart of the all encompassing source…with eyes wide open…there is nothing else to be done…..for we know the truth about everything. That is the place of eternal peace.
.
may all be blessed, by someone….anyone really. let sweetness reign.
Do fuck off will you
Wacists
Has Andy Burnham resigned yet?
For labour horse meat in burgers is a higher priority than hundreds of deaths in hospitals.
Do labour understand the word RESPONSIBILITY?
Could you lend me a dictionary please? Responsibility – no, it’s not in the New Political Dictonary as it went the same way as ethics, integrity and sorry.
Nothing to see here move along. Now if this was a Tory government that had caused this well that would be different.
It would be top news for months but it was that nice Mr Burnham
horses are for kings…why eat.
the gentler cow is the source for all the milk.. so why eat.
.
be karmic neutral…accept.
Oh bugger – that only leaves rats, cats and rottweilers then.
Oh that’s what my local kebab shop has in the window. Have you got the full recipe?
no. when you kill…it is karmic negative.
meat which is the consequence of a natural death is better..how
e
v
e
r
have the fruits stopped dropping from the apple tree of life? eat better. though even in junk there is goodness at times….so we have been given the good life….how many times should one watch the outstanding bit of predictive programming by the BBC to learn?
.
The Good Life exists….. the character played by Felicity Kendal is Barbara Good and hubbie is Tom Good. if kindness of our masters cannot be seen…then we better to start having better relations with our fathers and his extended family they represent our relationship with our masters.
The Good Life was c0mmunist propaganda.
You are swampy and I claim my five free tree hugging lessons
Would resignation be admission of guilt?
Whatever went on, he’s in up to the hilt
Better sit it out and do nothing at all
You never know, Plod might even make a call
On this Ash Wednesday and the first day of Lent the Pope has decided to give up the following for lent
errrr..
being the pope.
Oh my God. Sick 85 year old in ill health retirement shock!
Anyone know if he got his jam rolypoly pancakes yesterday?
So they hold their New Year’s party on Valentine’s Day?
Well, after having said that, what more is there to say?
Maybe they just woke up out of long hibernation
Or nursey’s been feeding them the wrong medication
On their Planet LaLa, they use a different time scale – you know a bit like the taxman’s year starts on 5 or 6 April. Now why can’t they be like everyone else and start on 1 January?
The New Year starts at the Winter Solstice.
Any other date is an invention by religious nutters or deviant politicians.
Hasty fingers lead to to silly mistakes – There just to be etc..??
The Vatican’s diversity statistics are appalling and we have a black Abbott that we could let them have. (I know it would be a big wrench but we would have to think of the wider picture.) being an Abbott she is partly qualified for the post and she should probably try Latin after failing to learn English properly.
I know that Pope Diane sounds a little off the wall but surely no wackier than a Leader of the Labour Party who isn’t a socialist, a leader of the Conservative Party who isn’t a Tory and a leader of the Limp Dims who isn’t………..
In the interests of equality and political correctness, the next Pope should be a bleck woman.
I hereby nominate Abbarse. She will fill the throne magnificently.
What is the difference between an Archbishop and a Cardinal?
Well it used to be that an Archbishop looked like a refugee from a Harry Potter film and a Cardinal got to wear a dafter hat and a different coloured frock but things are getting more confused these days.
A Cardinal sins whereas an Archbishop pricks
A few years ago Cardinal Sin was a very bigwig in Philippines society. Can’t be bothered to look but I suspect he might be gewglable
It used to be that an Archbishop looked like a refugee from a film based on a book by J K Rowling and that a Cardinal wore a dafter hat and a different coloured frock but things are getting more confused now.
I’m available !
For the next Caravan Club orgy?
Owen — get up — there’s someone called Dave on the phone asking if you can do one of your entertaining and informative presentations at some party tomorrow
When you look at Jones , Paterson , Osborne , Hunt etc , you can see that Spineless Dave has just surrounded himself with totally incompetent , wet behind the ears , clueless tory public school fuck wits , that have never lived or worked in the real world
No wonder this country is fucked
I once had a paper round in working class Primrose Hill, delivering The Guardian to the bros in the hood
I’ll be there!
Are the FSA and the FSA one and the same thing? They are both as effective as each other
Have Labour milked the horesemeat story enough yet? Pathetic opportunism.It’s almost as though they have no policies on anything. Oh wait a minute.
Don’t knock this knacking story. We need it to run and run Grand National style to distract Joe Public from our continuing endless fuck ups.
Things you never hear on the BBC;
”Left wing think tank, Resolution Foundation”
Instead
”Influential think tank, Resolution Foundation”
Bloody hell Gweedo – why so sensitive about the “diminutive” of Henry?
There wasn’t nuffink diminutive about Henry when he was doing that action shot with me.
Can’t even use of the names of an aspiring bomber of Parliament and the guy currently third in line to the throne!
When you say lonely Tories I presume you mean the 3% who make up the true Tory Party?
I,m sure more than 3% belong to the “hang ‘em, flog ‘em, stick ‘em all on a boat and send them back from where they came and make the unemployed plebs clear all the dog shite off the roads (which we leave behind)” brigade.
Tesco burgers may contain traces of Me , and Camila Parker Bowls
Which are Value and which are Premium Range?
So the tossers in the House of thieves do come from planet La La land, always suspected so now it’s been confirmed New year’s party in in Feb, can’t be Chinese New year they’re celebrating that could confirm what was suspected as well, they’re Chinese spies, can’t be that as the Chinese know everything that we do, just by going on the internet, New Year’s in February how stupid and inept.
Gideon and I never could do numbers.
We’re Oxford history and PPE graduates dontcha know
Toodle Pippa
Black Rod’s entrance will be taking some hammer tonight
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9808290/Labour-got-it-wrong-on-immigration-admits-Miliband.html
We’ve been telling thick lefties this for fucking years, how long does it take for the penny to drop ffs?
We will still allow Venusians and Klingons to settle here.
How ironic that the thieving scumbags in the HoC are to introduce a code of ethics morals and standards for the police force
Explaining to them not to take bribes , bungs ,not to fiddle expenses / overtime
to always tell the truth and never lie , never leak information to the press or be involved in anything that might be seen as corruption
(can’t write anymore for laughing)
Talk about Kettle calling pot black !
That Mary Creagh might be all over the media claiming credit for whatever actions others are taking, but she isnt fooling anyone.
I heard she was going to be promoted to Number Two in the Shadow Treasury Team but keep it quiet.
Sky news are at the meat plant in Wales that was shut down yesterday by FSA
They filmed through the fence several tons of meat placed around the back in an overgrown weeded area this meat was in food bins covered with polythene
when they questioned the owner at the front door he said he knew nothing about any meat around the back and that the FSA and police did not take away any paperwork or meat and that they just took a few photos
He said that they had not been shut down and it was business as usual men with hairnets and knives were seen wandering about the factory and he said that they were de boning horses this morning
When sky phoned the FSA they said “Their license has been suspended and the plant is shut down”
So what the fuck is going on ?
The Party tonight is cancelled !
After the revelations from Mervyn King that the economy is well and truly fucked this most certainly is not the time to start partying .
People will think that the Tories are arrogant and out of touch.
This is pure Keynesian economics – using government money (research wages spent on the tickets) to stimulate the economy. We should be encouraging more parties of this sort.