February 11th, 2013

One Hour Left to Win Caption Contest Roses

Last week’s Friday caption contest is open for another hour, with a bunch of Valentine’s Day roses from Arena Flowers delivered on Thursday for the winner.

One liners in the comments please.

Make them good…


133 Comments

  1. 1
    Clickbait says:

    Should make Guido another grand or so #FFS

  2. 2
    Gordon's Oral Gape says:

    So if we can just deliver this head to Clapham?

  3. 3
    Kebab Time says:

    “Huhne starts new job in Findus factory”

  4. 4
    owen says:

    “Bloody cows! Complaining that we keep taking their jobs!!”

  5. 5
    Huhne and his horse says:

    So this wit what I found in Birkenhead after all that driving

  6. 6
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Chris believes in first past the post.

  7. 7
    Huhne and his horse says:

    So how much for the carriage?.

  8. 8
    Daily Ref says:

    I”ll eat the small one now, have the big one washed and sent to my cell.

  9. 9
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Guess who Vicky will wake up with next.

  10. 9
    simon ford says:

    Sorry everyone I’ve just had a burger, now I’m feeling a little horse

  11. 11
    Little Horse says:

    Taking his penalty point is hurting me, mummy.

    • 55
      mummy horse says:

      Well, you really don’t have the look a future Derby-winner, darling. Just relax and try to get used to it.

  12. 12
    Andrew says:

    Hay, my little friend, I’m not sure where his other hand is but I do hope he’s not trying to coerce you…

  13. 13
    David Cameron Is A Cunt says:

    “And Vicky said that Carina was horse faced!”

  14. 14
    Well it's a thought maybe says:

    So I won’t need a licence to drive these.

  15. 15
    Well it's a thought says:

    So I won’t need a licence to drive these.

  16. 16

    Tesco face criticism over the choice of both product and spokesman for their latest ‘Buy One Get One Free’ promotion, especially as the caption read “It’s a photo-finish!”

  17. 17
    ████ ' changed my tune' Hoon says:
  18. 18
    A Huhne and his horse says:

    So I won’t need a licence to drive these.

  19. 19
    Peter Grant says:

    “If it was either Lasagne or Chris Huhne we’d end up in, no contest!”

  20. 20
    Gary Calderwood says:

    I’m hoping my cell mate isn’t hung like this sire !

  21. 21
    Lord Carrington's Binoculars says:

    Chris meets the rest of the Trimingham family for the first time.

  22. 22
    The scrotie says:

    Chris meets his new friends in the knackers yard.

  23. 23
    STROPPYCOW says:

    Woman: “I knew your story was a load of pony”

  24. 24
    Dicktator says:

    “Who stuck this horse’s head in my pocket? Oh, well, it will match the one I have waiting for me at home!”

  25. 26
    samb02 says:

    Chris tours local Burger King

  26. 27
    Anonymous says:

    We used to be fed to the dogs. Who’s being fed to the dogs now.

  27. 28
    Dave says:

    Huhne feels a little horse

  28. 29
    Ray says:

    The horses are better looking then your women Chris.

  29. 31
    Django says:

    Sally Bercow now identified as the third woman in Huhne ménage a trois!

  30. 32
    Holborn's Old says:

    “But does it do birth control?”

  31. 33
    NP Wales says:

    Fast driver meets fast food in pointless photo shoot.

  32. 34

    After splitting with Carina Trimingham now his political career is over, the latest scandal involving Chris Huhne centres on Alan Clarke-style “mother & daughter” revelations from Max Clifford hidden camera ‘sting’ However police traced the evidence to Tesco where the trail went cold!

  33. 35
    Pahars says:

    If you take my points I’ll take your place

  34. 36
    mark says:

    “You’d be a ‘foal’ not to take my points little horse..!”

    “Nay” said the big horse, expressing a pile of poo in his presence.

  35. 37
    Ela says:

    ‘ere, I thought we agreed no donkeys in this party

  36. 38
    ADS says:

    When we said reign in your horsepower we didn’t mean that.

  37. 39
    Findus Lasagne says:

    Horse to Chris Huhne ” Why the long face?”

  38. 40
    Tom says:

    We’re mincemeat

  39. 41
    Anonymous says:

    I’m not sure whether to eat you or force you to take my speeding points!

  40. 42
    The Con Cactus says:

    “This guy is mincemeat…moreso than myself…”

  41. 44
    @jacquesoeuf says:

    “Can you shoe horses, Mr Huhne?” “No, but I once told a donkey to fuck off.”

  42. 45
    Paniagua says:

    Chris Huhnes enforced visit to the petting zoo, shows that the establishment mean business when dealing with ex Ministers who lie.

  43. 46
    @nby83 says:

    “Horse forced Huhne to take speeding points”

  44. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Now available in handy snack size too

  45. 48
    The scrotie says:

    Huhne: I have discovered less horsepower is the way forward.

  46. 50
    for the highjump says:

    “next time you see me Chris, you’ll be carrying me to your cell on your dinner tray”

  47. 51
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    I bought a brace of humans at Tesco.

    Cock’s a bit skinny.

  48. 52
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Huhne visits Romanian beef packing facility, looking to get a promise from them to cut down on their methane emissions…

  49. 53
    Anonymous says:

    Findus Chrispy Point-takes

  50. 54
    The Fallen Angel says:

    Is Huhne saying “Can you tell me how you mince the evidence…?”

  51. 56
    Wyatt says:

    Ride a cock horse, to Wormwood Scrubs

  52. 57
    Evil Monkey says:

    Car replacement service receives new customer.

  53. 58
    █████ Watch says:

    I assure you m’lud, there has been no horsing around.

  54. 59
    Onegreatjohnny says:

    A pony to a pound she’ll be nagged into taking them!

  55. 60
    Popeye says:

    On my word of honour you will not become burgers.

  56. 61
    genghiz the kahn says:

    The Pope retires and Upper Egypt gets a plague of locusts. What next 7 lean years?

    http://english.ahram.org.eg/NewsContent/3/12/64460/Business/Economy/Upper-Egypt-threatened-with-possible-plague-of-loc.aspx

  57. 62
    Caption Dude says:

    Man purporting to be human is discovered to contain 100% Huhne.

  58. 63
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Don’t do it, Justine…

  59. 65
    Aim says:

    Findus someone to take the points will ya?

  60. 66

    Lord Prescott said he’s so hungry he could eat a lasagne

  61. 67
    Mummy Horse says:

    His name was Huhnie and he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

  62. 68
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Little Horse – Why hasn’t Andy Burnham resigned.
    Big Horse – Because he is made of the same stuff that comes out of your bottom.

  63. 70
    STROPPYCOW says:

    Neigh -a culpa?

  64. 71
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Little Horse – Who is that in the grey coat.
    Big Horse – Some huhne dear, some huhne.

  65. 73
    Casual Observer says:

    Whilst rehearsing for Equus, some take the method approach too literally.

  66. 74
    Phil says:

    Knackered libdem donkey poses with potential replacements to his former transport.

  67. 75
    Mrs B says:

    I’d put a pony on him getting 18 months.

  68. 76
    ReefKnot says:

    Can I break the speed limit on one of these ?

  69. 78
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    This may not be a caption, dear, but I feel that the two, ridiculous, defenceless, animals detract from the aesthetic of the photograph.

  70. 79
    Philip McArthur says:

    ” The last time I had my photograph taken I was doing 93mph !”

  71. 80
    Andrew Montgomery says:

    Neigh chance of this appearing in a caption competition.

  72. 81
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Are all labour MPs deaf? Why do they shout, can’t they talk normally?

  73. 82
    Anonymous says:

    what’s your beef, chris?

  74. 83
    graham smith says:

    Dont foal with the the libdem massive dude

  75. 85
    Beggar my Neigh-bour says:

    Which one is best for the Point to Point?

  76. 86
    Anonymous says:

    The Trimingham stable.

  77. 87
    @jacquesoeuf says:

    “Whoa to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips”

    (Isaiah 6:5-8 – honest!)

    • 96
      The Third Way doesn't work either says:

      Msgr. Ratzinger, I know you are standing down shortly but there is a bit more to this site than quoting the good book…

  78. 88
    The scrotie says:

    Lady: Chris this is not the type of horse they meant would make you popular inside.

  79. 89
    Peterooo says:

    Marriage reconciliation for Chris Huhne after he agrees to meet the ‘old cow’?

  80. 91
    Anonymous says:

    Huhne moves on from dogs

  81. 92
    The Third Way doesn't work either says:

    The Lady in Red
    Is over the moon
    They’ve all been ridden
    But nothing like Huhne

    will be…

  82. 93
    wearypartner says:

    Horse: Who’s the donkey?
    Pony: Duh!

  83. 94
    Anonymous says:

    spot the horses arse.

  84. 95
    Philip McArthur says:

    ” So this is the sort of thing I shall be eating for the next 6 years is it ?”

  85. 97
    Sir William Wade says:

    Should I lock the stable door now?

  86. 98
    The Third Way doesn't work either says:

    Pleased to meat you.

  87. 100
    Tosspot says:

    How did they Findus ?

  88. 102
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    Bonkers Johnson threatens Huhne family with cull after adverse glance at young horse.

  89. 103
    The scrotie says:

    I’ve been asked to smuggle in a little horse & a mobile phone.

  90. 104
    Tea Cup says:

    ‘Are you going to accept your responsibility or do I have to contact findus and tell them what you told me?’ came the subsequent reply.

  91. 105
    Lidl Pony says:

    I say it again Shergar, I ain’t taking the rap for you two galloping over the speed limit .. what an abortion.

  92. 107
    Ed P says:

    Huhne makes up policy on the hoof

  93. 109
    axman says:

    You can lead a horse to Eastleigh but you can’t make it take your points

  94. 110
    Guilty as charged says:

    Panto season begins as horse chooses next years Dame

  95. 111
    Mong Watch says:

    Owen Jones in a state of disbelief as he learns the real truth about his past on genes reunited.

  96. 112
    Tosspot says:

    Quick, turn the Tape on.

  97. 113
    The Third Way doesn't work either says:

    Question: Which one of these is not found in Findus?

  98. 114
    The Third Way doesn't work either says:

    The one in red does not jump?

  99. 116
    Anonymous says:

    pony and trap

  100. 117
    The Third Way doesn't work either says:

    Found on the front of a tin of Golden Stirrup:

    Out of the eater came forth meat and out of the strong came forth sweetness

  101. 118
    Charlotte Corday says:

    Chris Huhne’s politican future is now pony and trap (rhyming slang).

  102. 119
    Anonymous says:

    Four legs taste good.
    Two legs taste better

  103. 121
    Welsh activist. says:

    What you looking at, point size.

  104. 122
    Anonymous says:

    ‘They’re going to butcher you’

  105. 123
    Anonymous says:

    Horse: Is that really a pony’s head, or is Chris just pleased to see me ?

  106. 125
    Mixed Feelings says:

    Chris Huhne found in findus lasagne.

  107. 126
    Farm tourist says:

    Is that a lidl horse?

  108. 127
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Heads and Tales

  109. 129
    Anonymous says:

    At the Roy Rogers Convention the wrong Trigger turns up.

  110. 130
    Observant says:

    Chris making a complete lasagne of himself.

  111. 131
    damned impertinent questions says:

    Next for the knackers?

  112. 132
    damned impertinent questions says:


    Its all i am allowed now my licence has gone”

  113. 133
    Tom Catesby says:

    He coerced me to enter the point to point!


Seen Elsewhere

NUT’s Loony Defence of Status Quo | Jago Pearson
A Dozen Reasons to Be Cheerful | John McTernan
Political Bloggers Are Equal Opportunities Attackers | ConHome
Michael Gove Should Resign | Conservative Women
Sarah Wollaston’s Naming and Shaming of Bloggers | LibDemVoice
Fraser Nelson: Put Your Money on Ed Miliband to Win | Guardian
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Ditch Tobacco Plain Packaging | Grassroots Conservatives
What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV
Dave Stung by Jellyfish | Sun


new-advert
Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)


Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS




AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads