February 7th, 2013

Labour Cannot Find a Candidate for Eastleigh
Selection Process Open to All Members

John Denham has emailed all Labour Party members asking them if they would like to be the party’s no-hope candidate in Eastleigh:

“As I’m sure you’ve already heard, following Chris Huhne’s resigation we’ll be fighting a by-election in Eastleigh. There are only three weeks until polling day on 28 February. There’s a lot to do in the meantime but Labour Party members like you have achieved great results in by-elections over the last couple of years – and I know you’ll do it again. But before all that, we need a Labour candidate and I wanted to give you the opportunity to put your name forward. Apply to be Labour’s candidate in Eastleigh by emailing your CV.”

Hopefuls have until Saturday to get their name in. Apparently “If you’ve never been out campaigning before, don’t worry – there’ll be training available.” Looks like they are all but sitting this one out then…


  1. 1
    Owin Jones says:

    I’ll stand and win for Labour.

    First Eastleigh poll coming at midnight, courtesy of Lord Ashcroft. Will ruffle a few feathers.

  2. 2
    Grant Shapps aka Michael Green says:

    The Tories just can’t win Eastleigh.

    Legalising marriage for poofs has caused David Cameron to be regarded as a twerp.

  3. 3
    Chris Huhne says:

    I don’t mind running. Where do I sign ?

  4. 4
    Casual Observer says:

    I seriously think that Eastleigh is more about who loses with the most credibility rather than who wins.

    If Labour do not make the effort here, the farce of Lib-Lab-Con competition is truly exposed.

    Vote UKIP.

  5. 5
    SP4BS says:

    I would stand, but I haven;t got any legs.

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    thats a shame

  7. 7
    EdMiliband says:

    And get me

  8. 8
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    HA! HA! in a constituency that voted in a Lib Dem!!

    Yep! I can see UKRAP makin great strides there!

  9. 9
    Gonk III says:

    Scripted response to any doorstep question is.. ‘Yes, of course we’ll fund it’

  10. 10
    Steve Miliband says:


    Or do they want a nice safe seat

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    Labour could kill two birds with one stone and get some of the people from Lambeth who might have to work to get down there and stand!

  12. 12
    Dead Patients Society says:

    Hampshire is not exactly Socialist Central.

  13. 13
    Dead Patients Society says:

    Most people who vote LibDem do (or did) it tactically. UKIP are well placed to pick up their votes.

  14. 14
    Chris Hunhe says:

    I may be interested. How far is this place from Stansted airport?

  15. 15
    david walsh says:

    I know it takes the fun away,but this is standard practice at by elections now, and the party put out similar e-mails for Rotherham, Croydon and Middlesbrough. pip pip

  16. 16
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    0 win?

  17. 17
    Ceausescu's SpaD says:

    I think I will stand for this seat in Eastleigh, being Romanian i will soon be British.
    Thank You

  18. 18
    Eddie Boys Bandwagon says:

    don’t ask us

  19. 19
    Lord Mandelspawn says:

    It’s got to be me or McShame.

  20. 20
    LAB GAIN says:

    Just to confirm this will be a labour gain as pointed out by the earliest comments 3 days ago on guido’s blog. People in Eastleigh are united in their hatred for convicted politicians on the take and for David Cameron. Plus as pointed out some of DC’s crowd are now all UKIP, but not those that don’t get out much (most of them). This should give Labour the courage we need to win another landslide in 2015.

  21. 21
    Dave Camperon says:

    Gay is the new straight. I’m a straight sort of guy.

  22. 22
    Lembit's Optic says:

    I am the perfect and lets face it the best candidate to stand for Eastleigh. And lets face it I have porked more ladies than all you lot put together.

  23. 23
    YorkshireLad says:

    Pity they cannot sit them all out at the next General Election.

  24. 24
    LAB GAIN says:

    Fortunately you’re right Shatster. Most tory posh boys don’t recognise any gays in their party but do that stuff behind closed doors. At least we have people like Twigg and Bradshaw who were elected as openly gay. Yours you can count on one hand.

  25. 25
    Jimmy says:

    Putting in mildly. Last by election a few of us stayed with one of our posher members who asked us to take off rosettes and stickers going out in the evening. Mind you we still pushed the nasties into third. Happy days.

  26. 26
    skippy says:

    You could have left it at Labour can’t find…

  27. 27
    LAB GAIN says:

    I’m watching the other three parties squeal, know we’ll have a decent late entry and, am relishing the pleasant aftermath.

  28. 28
    LAB GAIN says:

    Shhh shut up and don’t let them know yet who it’ll be.

  29. 29
    hank the cat says:

    hasn’t straw got a drug dealing son who is at a loose end?

  30. 30
    T'Old Fella says:

    It’s a bit like the Cons standing in my neck of the woods, unless they fiddled they stand no chance, Little Willy stood once in the constituency, mind you after the constituency boundries have been mucked about with so many times the Liebore majority has halved in the last 45 years

  31. 31
    WearyTory says:

    In the old days, if you wanted to stand in a winnable seat for ANY party, you had to have fought a hopeless seat first. Now of course if your face fits the party hierarchy will fix a safe seat for you and you don’t have to bother about the hopeless seat. There is therefore zero reason for standing in a hopeless seat. It will cost you £10,000s of your money (travel, accommodation, maybe you will even have to pay for all your literature) time (every weekend and evening for months, even years) and will impact on your paid career in a big way. If you are a by election candidate the press will trawl over your private life and you and your family will be trashed in the papers, blogs etc. So parties are now finding it difficult to get candidates for hopeless seats. This is the consequence of all the political parties centralising candidate selection, favouring the few, and disregarding grass root members and activists.

  32. 32
    LAB GAIN says:

    Oh how detached from the real world you are. Was it the village of Botley? Or the hedgier bits of Hedge End where M. Hutchings lost? Most people in the seat are struggling to find a decent job or a decent wage, unhelped by your right-wing propaganda and electioneering. Hampshire isn’t posh there’s Labour MPs there too!

  33. 33
    Gonk III says:

    John Denham is such an inspirational figure there’ll be no problem with high calibre losers.

  34. 34
    LAB GAIN says:

    About 30 minutes Huhne. You know where you’ll be afterwards though if you do what you did before about that.

  35. 35
    lojolondon says:

    The LimpDim plan, rushing into an election to wrong-foot the opposition has worked on one party – Liebour are clearly all over the floor with this one.

    Surprising that they didn’t expect this – not very smart at all, wonder how they would run the country??

  36. 36
    LAB GAIN says:

    Yeah I know. They think Labour’s stuffed but we give members a chance to enter and then we pull the rabbit out of the hat with a well-organised campaign.

  37. 37
    LAB GAIN says:

    Even I wouldn’t call those cheeky girls a lady and I’m no tory or xenophobic twat. How much did you pay them Opik?

  38. 38
    Pundit too too says:

    Is “resigation” a new Labour in-word?

  39. 39
    T'Old Fella says:

    They might put out emails sunshine, they may get a few locals from the party applying, certainly for Rotherham it, is one of the chosen ones who gets the jobby, Eastleigh is different matter even the Cons did better.

  40. 40
    Inspector Clouseau says:

    Are you Prezza in disguise?

  41. 41
    Phil says:

    Just how much hatred do you think the voters of Eastleigh have for the previous government who whilst stufffing Health Service paypackets with an unprecedented amount of taxpayers money presided over the manslaughter by shameful neglect of over 1200 patients at Mid Staffs.

  42. 42
    Pundit too too says:

    What about Bliars son? He would get the experience to put on his microscopic CV.

  43. 43
    LAB GAIN says:

    Oh poor weary tory. If you wish to you may cop it soon :) At the end of the day if you’re face fits to the local people you win. So far people like Farage even in an open field (vs Speaker) couldn’t get even on the brink of winning and he appoints himself. If you want to get into politics fairlly run or heavily influence a council as a councillor or SPAD or cheat your way to a fairly safe seat. Yes sucks but so does business.

  44. 44
    Leicester Constituent says:

    Surely you meant to say “where do I sign on behalf of my (ex) wife?

  45. 45
    Mark Austin says:

    I’m not so convinced that it is a hopeless seat for Labour. Not too many years ago, Labour was getting 20-25%. The Lib Dems squeezed this vote to keep the Conservatives out. If it goes back, and UKIP gets a bit of a surge, we could see four parties on 20% or so of the vote. It would be anyone’s guess as to who would win under those circumstances.

    Also, from a tactical point of view, if they don’t fight this one hard, they’ll accused of writing off the South.

  46. 46
    BBC - The Labour Party Communications Centre says:

    This is the very reason we have not mentioned Labour in our at one time continual story on Eastleigh.

  47. 47
    LAB GAIN says:

    Actually rather successfully. Elected in for three terms many MPs with increased majorities for all three elections.:-) Unlike the sliding slippery slope under Mrs Thathcer that led to the Poll Tax :-(

  48. 48

    In 2010 Labour had 9.6% of the vote in third against 36% for the Conservative candidate in second. Unless Labour has sorted the postal votes, you don’t stand an earthly.

  49. 49
    Ned says:

    Why don’t Labour do a transfer deal and import a Liberal or a Conservative? Most people think LibLabCon are all the same.

  50. 50
    T'Old Fella says:

    You are dead right there, and the use of placemen doesn’t half rattle the cages of local parties of any description. There should be a 5 year residency obligation inforce but I can not see that happening any time soon.

  51. 51
    T'Old Fella says:

    “Also, from a tactical point of view, if they don’t fight this one hard, they’ll accused of writing off the South” a bit like the Cons regard the North ie above from 50 miles from the M25

  52. 52
    spread the bumsex, feel the love says:

    But I thought that was only “systemic failure” and that no one was to blame?

  53. 53
    LAB GAIN says:

    It’s in the bag.

  54. 54
    spread the bumsex, feel the love says:

    Apparently, he’s a pretty straight kind of guy.

  55. 55
    Obi Wanker Nobi says:

    I sense the Troll Force is very weak in this one…

  56. 56
    LAB GAIN says:

    False: just as most people are too busy on by-election days to think voting counts doesn’t mean people don’t care for a growth and jobs plan when they are hard up.

    The truth is I almost voted for Cameron in 2010 but couldn’t quite bring myself to do it after the Major years, I think most people are now fed up of not being able to find a decent job and many people don’t even earn what they would consider a living wage. It’s about time for those people to get out there and vote for the party that has plans for :

  57. 57
    Obi Wanker Nobi says:

    Dismal trolling – and yet you started out so promisingly.

  58. 58
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Oh I don’t know. They may bus down a sudden influx of workshy unemployables from Labeth and snatch victory against all odds.

  59. 59
    spread the bumsex, feel the love says:

    Sally Bercow’s being lined up.

  60. 60
    Labour Educashun Win says:

    “Hampshire isn’t posh there’s Labour MPs there too!”


    Hampshire isn’t posh THERE ARE Labour MPs there too!

  61. 61
    LAB GAIN says:

    And in 2005 (before Clegg-mania) (does anybody remember that?) Labour polled 20.6% of the vote, add that to all the LD vote which is dead thanks to Robinson focussing on their tossers and lies. And then you have: 59.2% of the vote.

    PS if people think Eastleigh’s stayed “frightfully posh” since the 70s think again: over 50% majorities for Steve Mililgan (Con) were because he was a well-known journalist in the area who was a centre-player politician. LIB+LAB’s given an an over 50% majority since 1997 and LIB is a damp squib.

  62. 62
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Unfortunately the rabbit is usually dead by that point.

  63. 63
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    I think his lardship has somewhat better grammar.

  64. 64
    Labour Educashun Win says:

    The word is ‘parasitic; you fucking Labour moron.

  65. 65
    LAB GAIN says:

    Y – the “A-List (Conservative)” reads like a sort-of Totalitarian hand-picked list of gullible women and ethnic minorities mixed with the sort of venomous Etonians who make your skin crawul who just want to punish those on lower earnings and those who aren’t in a job.

  66. 66
    Obi Wanker Nobi says:

    The bag should be over your head your cretin.

  67. 67
    LAB GAIN says:

    oh y, the stuck-up Buckingham twitter twit who calls her husband daft. No brainer really. Time to up the ante on the stake.

  68. 68
    Gordon F Brown says:

    I’m free…

  69. 69
    Sungei Patani says:

    The Conservatives won four consecutive elections three under Margaret Thatcher and one under John Major.

    In the 1992, the John Major election, the Conservatives won more vote any party has ever achieved before or since.

  70. 70
    Socialists - stealing our oxygen without responsibilites says:

    We don’t need new homes. We need to send back the hundreds of thousands of unskilled benefit seekers that you lot opened the fucking borders to. That would sort out points 1 to 3 in one foul swoop. Point 4 – the word “Bigot” has appeared in our media since that fucking idiot of a PM, a certain Mr G Brown, commented about a labour voter with commonsense (rare, I know), remember? So please use different terminology to describe those Tory Nimbys. And who the fuck wants to get to Birmingham 30 minutes earlier – those who want to see the result of Labours open border policies over their 13 year catastrophe??……..Fucking twat.

  71. 71
    Jumbo says:

    neither is the labour party

  72. 72
    LAB GAIN says:

    Would that be the same government who you think wrecked the economy leaving Cameron and Clegg to “clean up the mess” instead of today’s government who just tinker around doing nothing. The fact is that unemployment or underemployment is a big social issue.

  73. 73
    Jumbo says:

    if you look at labours record on the above in the period 1997 to 2010 you would not have much confidence in their ‘plans’ under milliband.

  74. 74
    LAB GAIN says:

    To the comment below most conservatives saw a fall in their share of the vote, and 0.3% down overall in 1992. And they lost in ’87 21 seats and in ’92 40 seats and loads of places where people didn’t want to pay the poll tax so didn’t bother to register to vote saw big drops in the tory vote. Learn some history, most people don’t forget evil Thatcher’s cuts. And look they’re at it again.

  75. 75
    LAB GAIN says:

    Grammar and spelling on here its getting ripped to pieces its like Downton Abbey.

  76. 76
    LAB GAIN says:

    actually no you’re not you’re one of ours on the backbenches.

  77. 77
    LAB GAIN says:

    And send out all your FUCKING tory scumbag spanish people out of spain while they’re at it. Sodding wankers.

  78. 78
    LAB GAIN says:

    You’re just another tory bigot who doesn’t understand how the 21st century economy works. Do you really think legal migrants would be here if there were no jobs. Apart from those Frogs and Krauts into commercial banking (your friends) most have dead-end low-paid jobs on offer in this island and do the jobs posh gits don’t want to do. In return we get to go live in Spain and Portugal, Italy and France or work anywhere in Europe. Get off your high horse with Brooksy and Cameron and come back down to earth, Labour would get to grips with EU enlargement and make sure we have tighter controls when we need it as your government plainly has not done, at the moment the main thing is restoring business confidence to invest, which means public backing.

  79. 79
    LAB GAIN says:

    We haven’t even fully announced what Plan B would be yet so you’re wrong again.

  80. 80
    LAB GAIN says:

    Totally gullible to this non-story. 99% of labour councillors want the opportunity and it’s probably already been decided.

  81. 81
    Socialists - stealing our oxygen without responsibilites says:

    Not sure what a tory scumbag spanish person is really….any ideas anybody? As for you Labia, I thought you had some kind of logic to your arguments (perverse though it was) but you are obviously one sani short of a picnic and rapidly losing that initial cool that you had – you’re all the same underneath, aren’t you? I can assure you that I’m not a Tory and I can also assure you that you are, as I said before, truly a fucking twat. Now go and live off other people’s money there’s a good little oxygen thief and then crawl back again when you run out.

  82. 82
    Jimmy says:

    Comparisons with old results can be misleading as the boundaries have changed. The seat used to include a chunk of Southampton.

  83. 83
    Socialists - stealing our oxygen without responsibilites says:

    Try announcing plan “A” first – and in put it down in black and white rather than write it in “bandwagon” font. Fucking twat.

  84. 84
    Elliott Morley says:

    Or me

  85. 85
    Jim Devine says:

    Or me

  86. 86
    Dr Lockjaw says:

    I think Lab Gain might be a hard core lefty. He’s branding DC and chums some sort of sadist which is a nu-Labour (nu-Stalinist) battle cry, or he’s fallen for the nu-labour bull shit.

    Milibrand’s Plan B will prove to be a version of Greece’s spending mixed with Das Kapital-style redistribution by stealth. Mostly to top labour unionists, council officers (sorry, scroungers) and other scroungers.

  87. 87
    Crabwaladr Moonpatch says:

    Only the word ‘fucking’ is not redundant, there.

  88. 88
    oldmgrumpy says:

    You kin ‘ave the Gosport (failed) Lab candidate!………. He’s got nowt to do!

  89. 89
    HenryV says:

    Can’t we just invade to impose a regime?

  90. 90
    Jim says:

    Public backing? You mean ‘Borrow more money? Even Cameron cannot stop spending the stuff! Labour cannot even say the words ‘live within your means’ let alone state a Policy – other than Spend more money.

  91. 91
    chris1943 says:

    Oh do piss off and grow up. You are boring!

  92. 92
    Prezza says:

    Az ‘ull iz knowt wantin me az Please Commissarr an the like, Poorlean an Tray-c twogather urents me two phut my name forewood az a candy-date.

  93. 93
    LabourCantWinHere says:

    The first Eastleigh poll: Con 34 Lib Dem 31 Lab 19 UKIP 13

    So it will be between the Cons and the Lib Dems, just as it was in 1997, 2001, 2005 and 2010.

    What was that about everyone will vote Labour this time? Dream on, Labour boys!

  94. 94
    Labour Loose Deposit says:

    Old Labour–Doing it with women and stealing money.
    New Labour-Doing it with little boys and stealing money.
    New, New Labour–Doing it to the country and fucking-up the money.

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    A vote for UKIP = “None of the above”. Got my vote then…

  96. 96
    quelle surprise says:

    There’s a guy called Gordon something. Used to be involved in Labour politics, might even still be an MP but can’t be bothered to turn up for work for months at a time. He’s clearly not representing his consituency if he still has the bare-faced cheek to claim a salary.

    He might be free. (Probably not, he’s possibly very expensive – given he sold savings at a moronically low price, and mortgaged half the schools and hospitals in the country)

  97. 97
    Don Qui Jacket says:

    The Fauxialists are deliberately fucking this up to help the Limp Dems.


  98. 98
    Mrs Prescott says:

    Yes, and my pricks a kipper.

  99. 99
    Mrs Prescott says:

    And my pricks a kipper

  100. 100
    disgustedoftunbridgewells says:

    Dont you mean he’s a tosser

  101. 101
    indir says:

    This media shite is worse than listening to tin can cam talking about his pink pound ideas.

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Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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